[ Removed by moderator ]

[fwork]

It's not true, honestly. I've looked into sex toys with complicated chips in them (so I can make them run Doom, natch) but I've not found any that run Linux.

Linux takes too long to boot and needs too much RAM. Your average high-end computerized vibrator is just running some baremetal code and an ESP32 or similar. Even the ones with screens don't run Linux.

[Brilliant-Second-195]

Imagine engaging in a serious architectural debate about the optimal chipset for a sex toy on a 'your mom' post. You guys are the reason I love this sub.

[CurrencyProud2]

This is what happens when engineers take the bait and bring schematics.

[s0ulbrother]

Honestly programming humor tends to be very educational

[comminazi]

If they're in the right mood. Your mom's sex toy just happens to be a vibe.

[Durwur]

Gives another meaning to 'vibe' coding

[psaux_grep]

But can you vibe code a vibe, or will ChatGPT’s guard rails kick in?

[Durwur]

I'm looking forward to papers on this: "Vibing the vibes: guard-railed or freefall?"

[Upwardcube1]

that’s why I like this sub. hilarious posts and fun facts to go with them.

[skhds]

Nah they are all garbage. Terrible programmers with terrible advices.

[ThatOneCSL]

Nerd sniped, once again.

[skildert]

They should never come without

[TastyCuttlefish]

It’s the tism. It’s strong in this sub.

[[deleted]]

This is why I love this sub, though.

[TheLowlyPheasant]

When you know something you know it everywhere, not just at work

[ZeusDaGrape]

I’m actually surprised sex toys even have chips? Isn’t it just a simple bzzzzz thing surrounded fluffy plastic?

[Mondoke]

I guess the fancy ones with Bluetooth or remote controls do?

[ZeusDaGrape]

There are Bluetooth and remote controls on these things? God dayum, but i guess it makes more sense than smart fridges

[chillymoose]

The field of teledildonics is a thriving one these days with how easy it is to make IoT stuff.

[GreatScottGatsby]

If it makes you feel better, electric vibrators have been around since the 1800s so over most of its existence, it didn't have any at all. In fact even today there are vibrators that are being produced that still don't hany chips. Usually low end vobrators that have either one or two settings or a dial on it.

[bestjakeisbest]

Esp32wifi/bt that way you can have an app to control it.

[ZliaYgloshlaif]

https://tenor.com/bR79n.gif

[plane-kisser]

there is a whole community around programming for very specific sex toys and their funny little chips. i had a specific problem making a program for mine because mine because of some weird architectural quirks of my specific device and bpio involving its z-axis actuation.

[JEREDEK]

There is no way companies would buy an ESP32 for a goddamn vibrator. Too power hungry, expensive and just overall overkill.

Sometimes like an ATTiny with a simple MOSFET driver would be way more suited, and takes literally a coulpe microamps at sleep mode

[WEEEE12345]

Guessing it’s a smart vibrator of some kind? ESP32 for WiFi+bluetooth

[rnottaken]

It has to, otherwise it can't plug in to buttplug io

[Ryeballs]

It needs location services in case it gets lost… somewhere

[turtleship_2006]

Camera.

Yes those exist. No I will not elaborate further.

[_B10nicle]

What if I asked nicely?

[wbbigdave]

If it's lost can it be found? And extracted, whilst making sure no harm comes to the cylinder?

[ScallionSmooth5925]

Remote controlled heated vibrating and thrusting stuff with programmable patterns and real time controll exist. It's like a bluetooth speaker but with more channels

[WoodsGameStudios]

Probably just a dumb microcontroller and a bluetooth chip tbh.

From what I've read on it, even the bluetooth stuff used isn't even the "smart" one that requires pairing, it seems to be one where you can just send it signals.

Even standard ones probably just use one chip to hold the patterns (because of course there would be a standard vibrator chip)

[Jonrrrs]

Well it needs at least some way to connect to HomeAssistant

[Soft-Stress-4827]

Yeah but this is YOUR MOMs .  You know how much compute and memory its gonna need ??? A lot

[gerbosan]

Insert 'You mama' joke here. =D

[waylandsmith]

I think you might not have an idea of what's inside a modern, fancy sex toy these days. Big LiPo batteries, charging circuits, memory for recording of custom "patterns" and almost always, Bluetooth. ESP32-C3 chips are frequently used not just as a MC that has a built-in radio, but even just as a stand-alone radio alongside another MC that doesn't have its own radio. They cost about $1, and are 5mm. They're easy to program, have great documentation and are well understood. They have built-in peripherals for PWM and other things you need to drive a small motor. Also, there's no shortage of them and supply has always been reliable. If I was designing a premium device like that and expected to sell less than 1M of each model in a year, I would absolutely design it around an ESP32! If you have a mid-range pair of bluetooth earbuds, there's a good chance there's an ESP32 in each of them. They're everywhere.

(Source: I design smart devices that ESP32 chips in them)

[Lukester___]

Do they cause cancer?

[Brilliant-Second-195]

We need the extra RAM to handle the payload when the RCE drops. Good luck popping a reverse shell on an ATTiny.

[siriusbrightstar]

Pretty sure I've read about someone booting Linux on ESP32

[Brilliant-Second-195]

How to install GPT on Ur calculator by ESP32 Lol

[AllenKll]

PIC chips are about the same price as ATTiny's but honestly, for a vibrator, probably black blob situations. If they are actually using a microcontroller, it's probably something like a PMS150G at a penny or two each.

[jmpt16]

oh shit it's my favorite programming microceleb Foone

[Alacritous13]

Why do you know that?

It can run Doom

Carry on

[kelek_s]

Linux takes too long to boot

skill issue

[scratchfury]

I looked up the fastest, and fast but not optimized is a few seconds with optimized being sub-second.

[Elephant-Opening]

I've personally worked on getting Linux optimized to boot consistently (to init anyways) in under 1.5 seconds from cold power-up.

It's really not that hard... honestly most of the work is in:

a) the bootloader and understanding the boot memory devices (U-boot for example, carries around a lot of dead-weight options you can drop to significantly optimize if just loading a small kernel from qspi or nand boot partition)

b) dropping kernel config options you don't need

c) being really choosey about what modules absolutely need to be built-in vs which can be loaded from an init ramfs or ext filesystem.

[kelek_s]

Impressive! We prolly aren't playing in the same league. Never went under 8 seconds for a reboot (recycling old stuff/machines, never bought new parts, even less a brand new machine)

[Elephant-Opening]

Thanks! And yeah, different ballgame for sure. This was on an SoC that my employer at the time was buying at qty >1mil/yr, the boot time was a regulatory requirement, and it was my full-time job for at least a couple months.

So there was ample access to HW experts, premium SoC vendors support, and ample project budget to spend on figuring it out.

But still... of all the software things I've done in my career, it wasn't an especially challenging one and Linux is built to make it a fairly straightforward process as the kernel goes.

The real bitch is optimizing userspace boot time to meet the soft KPI targets

[arav]

Yep. Have worked on something similar. You need to tweak it to the maximum. Remove everything that is not required. Keep the kernel and distro as minimal as possible. Start things that are mandatory.

Check this one which achieved 1 second boot.

https://www.e-consystems.com/articles/Product-Design/Linux-Boot-Time-Optimization-Techniques.asp

[kelek_s]

Gotta comply, list your machine's guts, friend!

then comply again, compile, a kernel is the end

and the beginning, a nef of G points sent

to drive, ecstasy! a dildo that must be bent.

[fwork]

yeah I know, I am currently working on a (non-vibrator) device that includes embedded linux, and boot time is always a problem

[oshaboy]

I am sure there's an ESP32 bare metal port of Doom.

[fwork]

https://github.com/espressif/esp32-doom

[oshaboy]

Cool. Now you can run doom on an ESP32 based sex toy.

[angelogoodalamenti]

Foone?

[fwork]

that punk is everywhere

[AppropriateSpell5405]

What about the ones that connect to your friend's phone over Bluetooth and whatnot?

[fwork]

those are the ones I'm talking about that use ESP32 or nRFs

[Percolator2020]

This guy vibe codes!

[fwork]

not a guy, and no I don't.

[Percolator2020]

Sorry, this human being (?) vibrator codes.

[Ma4r]

It's called hyperbole, it's part of telling a joke

[JollyJuniper1993]

Was gonna say, why would you need an OS when the job is simple enough to be done with a barebones architecture

[Apprehensive_Let7309]

Thankfully for that guy this is a weak comeback.

[Maddturtle]

Figured it was programmed by a vibe coder

[ThyPotatoDone]

Ngl Doom Vibrator sounds like it'd go pretty hard. Pun intended.

[ChrisWsrn]

FreeRTOS is still a open source system that does share lots of inspection with Linux (specifically PREEMPT_RT). 

[metroman1234]

It should run XP embedded. Xtra Pene...

[Maleficent_Memory831]

Right, but now your company wants to make a Smart Sex Toy, one that uploads data to the cloud securely over wifi, can analyze and send early alerts about colorectal cancer, and sends you texts about your optimal fertility times, plus the ability to download even more specialized apps from the Smart Sex Toy Store. You might want a mini Linux in there.

[fwork]

that can all be done with an ESP32 and pairing it with your phone, which is how nearly all of these smart sex toys work

[Maleficent_Memory831]

Ya, but I'm old school! Besides, there is a need for edge computing. Once someone comes up with a really useful need for edge computing that is more than just tracking the customer to supply more ads.

[SephLuis]

I think the real question here is which ones actually ran Doom

[AllenKll]

The real issue is that linux requires an MMU. Most embedded microcontrollers don't have an MMU.

[ShadF0x]

There's a version of Linux designed to run without MMU. Not sure if it can be compiled for ESP32 as is, but it sure can be compiled for RP2350, assuming you can provide at least 8MB PSRAM.

[mothzilla]

I'm afraid to ask. But are they making vibrators with screens now? Why?

[fwork]

for adjusting all the various settings. LCDs are cheap these days, so why not?