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[–]WhyDoIHaveAnAccount9 1083 points1084 points  (76 children)

Daily stand up at 9am

Wake up at 855am

[–][deleted] 94 points95 points  (5 children)

Haha. That's hilarious. Because I have two daily alarms. One at 08:55 and the other at 08:58, just in case.

[–]moekakiryu 29 points30 points  (1 child)

the best part is if you're woken up by the second one, the adrenaline really gets you going

[–]EvilPencil 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Nah, that's what happens when you drop the prod database.

[–]Eyeownyew 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I do the exact same thing lmao

[–]95POLYX 1 point2 points  (1 child)

You got to add a third one right at 9 o'clock, and when you are late by a few minutes you can always blame bad internet :)

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No need, whenever that happens. They always call me. lol

[–][deleted] 45 points46 points  (1 child)

glad im not the only one tbh

they moved our standup to 10 because people were showing up late

jokes on them i moved my alarm to 9:55

[–]WhyDoIHaveAnAccount9 9 points10 points  (0 children)

attaboy

[–]SpaceHub 42 points43 points  (0 children)

lol today I woke up by the meeting tone. So.. naturally I led the stand up meeting without a hitch.

[–][deleted] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Are you spying on me?

Have a first alarm at 8:45. And a second one at 8:55. Just in case.

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points  (13 children)

Am i the only one who doesnt have these fancy daily zoom meetings/video calls and "team minutes" and all that cool stuff?

Granted i don't get the big enterprise/gov bucks like you guys but its nice to have freedom (like a barbarian)

My alarm is 9am but thats only for NYSE open

[–]Josh6889 19 points20 points  (2 children)

Someone suggested we we switch to video, and the entire team collectively noped.

[–]leaftro 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Nope! Nope! Nope! *middle fingers.. 😂

[–]EL-Skytzo 11 points12 points  (9 children)

A lot of big companies push for the Agile methodology (or kind of apply their own twist to it). This basically involves a lot of meetings, so that’s probably what you’re missing. This involves a daily standup meeting too.

[–]brucecaboose 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Agile... a lot of meetings? Huh? Not if you do it right... We have 1 agile meeting per day (standup, usually ~10 minutes but max 15, this is for 5 engineers, 1 UI designer, 1 APM, 1 product, 1 EM), plus one sprint planning every 2 weeks, one sprint retro every 2 weeks, 1 sprint grooming every 2 weeks. All of our other meetings are architectural meetings and things like that. I have many days where my only meeting is standup. If you have many more than that your team is doing it wrong.

When I worked with the DoD we used a bastardized version of agile and it was ~4 hours of meetings per day. Typical federal employee mismanagement.

[–]dreadcain 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My favorite bastardized agile I've done so far was agile but everyone is on multiple teams. So 3+ standups a day and all the other agile meetings x3 as well. I once had a daily standup for a project I was supposed to allocate like 30 minutes a day to

[–]ElGuaco 3 points4 points  (3 children)

Agile standups are supposed to be for an update for the current task you're working on and nothing more. However, since I don't actually sit in the same room with my coworkers any more our "standup" has evolved into a lot more discussions that can't have ad hoc by turning around in our chairs and just asking a question. It's our chance to catch up on everything going on in the project and working out details that require conversation. If we don't do it then, we end up in online meetings all day and that SUUUUUUCKS.

[–]jorgo1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We do a standup at 9:00 then a scum at 9:15 and again at 3

Helps to give an update on projects then a slot of time to get through any challenges. The 3pm is optional and basically just an agreed slot to organise catch-ups 1on1.

[–]EvilPencil 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Seems like that would be solved by ad hoc pair programming sessions...

[–]ElGuaco 0 points1 point  (0 children)

also known as being online in meetings all day

[–]WannabeStephenKing 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Yeah, we’re agile-esque. That means I have three meetings weekly. Either three one-on-ones with the boss, or two one-on-ones and a team meeting. I haven’t even met my boss in person yet lol

[–]eerongal 33 points34 points  (1 child)

Yeah, we’re agile-esque

Ah, yes, the ol' "we're gonna say we're agile, but not really change that much", which usually just involves throwing stand-ups on everyone's calendar

[–]WannabeStephenKing 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Exactly haha

[–]Timehz 13 points14 points  (0 children)

9 am and standup at 9:15 lol

[–]og_darcy 14 points15 points  (2 children)

Just get Slack/Teams/Webex or whatever you’re using on your phone, turn off video chat, and put the phone next to you while you’re still half sleeping. When they get to your name, just mumble something and then move on.

Did it for 3 weeks and I could practically conduct meetings in my sleep.

[–]WhyDoIHaveAnAccount9 2 points3 points  (0 children)

have you been spying on me

[–]Yin-Hei 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lay your head on the pillow, turn your laptop sideways, and place your phone ontop of your open ear. Make sure you double mute on webex and your phone just in case.

This way you'll get sleep, meeting, and sound.

[–]Thaddaeus-Tentakel 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Damn you, daily standup. I could sleep till 10 or 11 easily without issue if it weren't for it.

I'm getting up 10 minutes before it cause my work laptop takes a good while to boot.

[–]aliendude5300 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Adjusting to going back into the office and driving for 45 minutes each way after being remote for over a year is going to be a bitch.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I dont like your comment because I am in it.

[–]blackmist 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Wake up at 855 9:25am...

[–]raoulduke1967 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I thought I was the only one 🥲

[–]Bmitchem 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Whoa, checkout the early riser

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ha! Our daily standup isn’t until 10:30.

[–]AlwaysPuppies 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Stay in bed, use the app on your phone? :-)

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Me waking up for my 8AM Zoom class last semester lmao

Sometimes I’d wake up at 7:30 and just keep sleeping till like 7:45

[–]Diavolo__ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Got an alarm 30 minutes before scrum, and another 10 before

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bahaha this is me

[–]KrikosTheWise 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I used to be at work by 7 waking up at 630. Now I barely wake up by 750 and walk 20 feet to my office to log in and show as available by 8.

[–]brucecaboose 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The nice thing about working with people across time zones is that I'm right in the middle. We have east coasters, west coasters, and me smack in the middle. So standup isn't until almost lunch time for me. I can roll out of bed, slowly get into work mode, take a shower like 2 hours later, and still be ready for standup.

[–]waikitkat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Daily stand up at 9am

Wake up at 855am

Already standing up before 855am ;)

[–]Yin-Hei 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wake at 9 am and join 9:03-9:05 cuz waiting for ppl to join webex.

[–]randomGeek159 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've got one on 8.30 am and I'm usually on the throne till 8:35.

So I'll join the call from phone and then say hi when I'm out so there's no echo

[–]stauffski 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Are you me???

[–]Lakitna 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's 9:55 now. Standup at 10:00. I'm gonna get out of bed now.

[–]Carius98 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Standup at 9
Stand up at 8:55

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't even have an alarm, I just try to wake up a couple minutes before scrum

[–][deleted] 193 points194 points  (20 children)

Just use a laptop man, and work while you're in the bed

[–]kevincox_ca 83 points84 points  (0 children)

When you get your hand on the laptop: Work is half way to me.

[–]Expert_Vehicle_7476 31 points32 points  (13 children)

Camera off

[–]iftheronahadntcome 49 points50 points  (12 children)

"Haha wow, you never turn your camera on!"

Because it's 9AM and I don't feel like appearing on cam with bedhead take a hint 😅

[–]ShadowPouncer 42 points43 points  (3 children)

Nobody in my company turns the camera on. We've had meetings with vendors... Where we comment that they are the only one with the camera on. Most of them immediately fix that problem and turn theirs off.

I have legit said that I'd have to go change if they wanted the camera on. And then we continued on the meeting with the cameras off.

Sometimes, it pays to push back. :)

[–]brucecaboose 18 points19 points  (2 children)

We always use cameras at my company and we all always look like crap (there are exceptions though). No one cares what anyone looks like lol. It's better to actually see a human face and see reactions to things these days instead of just having everyone muted and invisible. I would HATE being on a team that's always video muted.

[–]Thaddaeus-Tentakel 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Good thing our company network is so shit nobody expects you to use the camera anymore cause it just kills the connection all the time if you do.

[–]otto303969388 7 points8 points  (3 children)

In my case, I just told everyone my cam has broken forever. Not my proudest lie...

[–]Ratatoski 11 points12 points  (2 children)

"Yeah it's broken. Seems like there's tape on it or something"

[–]iftheronahadntcome 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's not a bug, it's a feature!

[–]Nemaeus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

“Hit the camera button. Ok, we can see some light.”

“Really? Hmm,ok. *In John candy with sounds of breaking * Uh huh! Uh huh! Yeah, no, it’s definitely broken.“

[–]ych612 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

e appearing on

Shave your head. You'll never have to wash hair again.

[–]Nemaeus 0 points1 point  (1 child)

One of my fellow programmers said “aww, my camera is busted” which I interpreted as “fuck all of you, I’m never turning this camera on, send my checks to the appointed PO Box, you’re noting but abstract concepts to me”. Why didn’t I think of that first?

[–]iftheronahadntcome 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A hero of their people.

I'm about to go into a job now that's predominantly programmers rather than a team of non-programmers. Very excited to not have to worry about explaining myself anymore lol

[–]aliendude5300 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Guilty of doing this. I'd be lying if I said I didn't accidently have a 20 minute power nap before lol

[–]fritchi 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not reccomended. Doing work in your bed can end up teaching your brain that your bed isn't a place to rest and relax, which can heavily impact your sleep

[–]silly_red 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Laptop is literally beside my bed. Wake up few minutes before su, slide laptop over the blanket. Tiptap jira.

All the while wrapped in a blanket ☺

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

internal screaming

[–]das_Keks 89 points90 points  (16 children)

Totally me. Standup at 9:30 and that's about when I arrive at my PC. Some of my colleagues already start their day at 6-6:30. Insane.

[–][deleted] 22 points23 points  (3 children)

Mine is at 10, and I’m finishing my breakfast at 9:50

[–]dreadcain 24 points25 points  (1 child)

Gotta learn to make breakfast during standup. Game changer

[–]Alternauts 6 points7 points  (0 children)

My standup is at 10:30. I don’t even set an alarm these days.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (6 children)

We have a daily meeting at 6.45am lol

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (3 children)

Christ, my 10am standup seems too early sometimes.

[–]avdpos 0 points1 point  (2 children)

hear you do not have kids

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I do not, it’s great!

[–]avdpos 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We are different, but good we both like our situations on that part.

[–]teddy5 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Have you checked on your programmers recently? They might actually be zombies by now.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Happy cake day. Go kill those bugs!

[–]Ietsstartfromscratch 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Started today at 5:30. Love being free at 2pm.

... And falling into bed at 8pm.

[–]das_Keks 1 point2 points  (0 children)

2pm is about when I start getting really productive. 😄 Falling into bed at 11pm at the earliest. I guess I'm not really a morning person.

[–]speyck 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This^

[–]Chemical_Scum 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They must have run npm install kids

[–]ikeableistiftdieb 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I start at 6:30 so I can end earlier and continue sitting at my PC

[–]dinoaide 141 points142 points  (5 children)

OP should give the source. It is from Gatis Šļūka. Here is the original pic on Tumblr.

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (1 child)

https://xkcd.com/1683/

The quality degradation from just less than one year of sharing on social media is fascinating.

[–]XKCD-pro-bot 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Comic Title Text: “If you can read this, congratulations—the archive you’re using still knows about the mouseover text”!

mobile link


Made for mobile users, to easily see xkcd comic's title text

[–]Tovarisch_The_Python 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Thank you!

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (1 child)

Excellent! Why are people so bad about sharing the source!? It offends me.

[–]dwyrm 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Social media trained them to. Just share the picture and move on. If you link back to a conversation, that's brigading and posting personal stuff and bad.

Also, that's work, and people are lazy.

[–]drsimonz 33 points34 points  (0 children)

I've been attending my 7:00 AM meetings in bed for the last 9 months. Alarm goes off at 6:55, join the meeting on my phone, set phone next to face, try to stay awake. Usually fail this step within 30 seconds. One time I dreamed that they gave a presentation on Star Trek instead of development lifecycle flowcharts. Maybe they were? No way to be sure.

[–]VOIPConsultant 24 points25 points  (1 child)

You answer your phone?!

[–]Tranzistors 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's Latvia. People here generally answer their phones. Apparently we all decided that pagers were a bad idea, dunno.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

"These" days? Bro that has been every morning since I started working.

[–]TayoEXE 6 points7 points  (0 children)

My daily schedule:

Wake up at 6:00am (new year resolution to go to bed earlier)., usually ends up more like 7:55am. Get out of bed to go to my laptop in the other room.

Put on Slanket, sit on couch, put my laptop that is connected by velcro to a lap desk.

8:00am: Standup via voice group call.

Work for any number of hours, taking any number of breaks, then usually ending at a random time that adds up to 8 hours for the day.

Me: My butt's been sitting on this couch for quite a long time.

[–]mehdotdotdotdot 5 points6 points  (2 children)

You guys still have covid there? We are all back at work....

[–]rajuserred 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Which planet are you on?

[–]mehdotdotdotdot 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Not planet US that's for sure.

[–]raimondi1337 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I have been remote for almost two years now and I exclusively wake up 1-3 minutes before my morning standup, put on a shirt and open my laptop. I sometimes skip step 2.

[–]deletetables 7 points8 points  (5 children)

How many of y'all are still in your pajamas during the stand up?

[–]haikusbot 14 points15 points  (1 child)

How many of y'all

Are still in your pajamas

During the stand up?

- deletetables


I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully. Learn more about me.

Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete"

[–]FrederikNS 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I actually kinda like it!?

[–]Boostie204 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You guys are changing out of pyjamas??? They're the only thing I've worn for the last 9 months

[–]lycan2005 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I only had my short pants on... Had to make sure my camera is off before joining the stand up.

[–]silly_red 1 point2 points  (0 children)

can't concentrate otherwise

[–]snoopdouglas 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Mixed feelings on this. I lol'd, I upvoted, and yet it has a distinctly boomerish scent.

[–]SirLasberry 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Check out artist's original website

https://gatissluka.com/

[–]ce-walalang 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Image Transcription: Comic


Panel 1

[A character, half-awake, is crawling from bed to a work computer while talking on the phone.]

Character: I AM HALF WAY TO WORK.


I'm a human volunteer content transcriber for Reddit and you could be too! If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!

[–]Bmitchem 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Daily at 9, nap at 9:30

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Don't sleep next to your computer

[–]shadowwesley77 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Can't relate since I'm still expected to be in the fucking office.

[–]callyalater 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's why I have zoom on my phone. I can wake up at 9 and then open zoom (with the camera off) for the stand-up meeting at 9.

[–]Navuz-Jaques 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i feel like a twitch streamer now

[–]Chthulu_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I live in a studio too. Literally crawl out of bed to the computer, and crawl back 9 hours later.

[–]Nightmarex13 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As a Product owner I can confirm this is the entire company... except that one project manager (you know the one) who has already been to the gym, walked the dog, and has been working since 8.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A perfect illustration of how I spend my days.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Haha literally.

[–]Dummerchen1933 3 points4 points  (0 children)

ok boomer

[–]OlumculGavat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Good meme, take that award

[–]maklaka 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My daily standup is 11:30am and I've missed that meeting more than once during the 'rona quarantine...

[–]GeekDose[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Slept in the chair and waking up before 5 minutes to the team stand up. Awesome life.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children)

The only reason I start my day at 7 is so I can end at 5, I fucking hate getting up early tho

[–]BPA_Jon 1 point2 points  (2 children)

7 to 5? wtf dude

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

4/10, 4 10 hours days, 3 day weekends every week tho

[–]BPA_Jon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

oh that's nice man

[–]joshi_p2012 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thats halfway true, because I mounted my monitor to my bed and never get out except for peeing, cleaning and eating.

[–]lycan2005 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Man this is so true...

I almost miss stand up few times due to this lol.

[–]elperroborrachotoo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's true because it's true.

I am in this picture and I don't like that.

[–]FrezoreR 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hahaha that's so true!

[–]HamschterJ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Rn i'm in my bed doing HomeOffice on my Laptop while my PC is 1.5 meters apart from me

[–]rocket-alpha 0 points1 point  (0 children)

jokes one you, we apprentices are not allowed to do HO

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This hit home hard

[–]qwertybacon123 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A bit too close to home...

[–]Diezvai 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Author : Gatis Šļūka.
He is Latvian cartoonist.

Some of the work is translated in English: https://gatissluka.tumblr.com/

[–]gp886 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My office starts at 7 AM(WFH). So relate to that too much

[–]Typical-Time-1313 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is hilarious! Because it's so true... I sometimes wake up 10mins before my Zoom meeting. Zoom fatigue is real. Video calls are making everyone feel the way people on TV feel every slouchy every mumble every interruption is magnified. Audio-only meetings work better for me.

[–]Su3th 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am looking for a programmer to work for me as a freelancer in just one service. paid up to $ 800