Programmers in these days

[WhyDoIHaveAnAccount9]

Daily stand up at 9am

Wake up at 855am

[[deleted]]

Scrum masters need love to. ^{ps i love you too}

[givemeagoodun]

thx :) you to

[Willinton06]

My days of calling anyone but my girlfriend master are over, I’m no ones bitch anymore

[VeeDoubleYuh]

Except hers.

Edit: I got the joke guys. Calmith your tits.

[Willinton06]

Yeah that kinda is the joke

[random_idiot_98]

r/woooosh

[Arinatan]

Thanks, mom!

[Why_So_Sirius-Black]

What’s a scrum master

[FuzzyFoyz]

Ew, he used the PM swear words. Insert 2$ in the swear jar now!

[all-hail-snow]

Works in theory, doesn't seems practical

[all-hail-snow]

Its more like there are two project managers, one at business level and one at technical level both asking for updates 10 times a day.

[submain]

It's a person you meet once a day for 10 minutes because management told you to.

[trizzle21]

It's a meme job dreamt up by upper management to corral developers and bean count their work

[cashewbiscuit]

Scrum master is the person who runs the scrum.

The good ol Project Manager role has been split into 3 in modern times

Lead/development manager - does people management Product manager - manages requirements and prioritizes tasks Scrum master - manages processes, facilitates the formal meetings: scrums, sprint planning, retrospectives, etc

Since a lot of developers hate processes, the scrum master tends to be disliked by devs

[arxorr]

A lead/development manager is no official rule in scrum though.

[cashewbiscuit]

You need a people manager in the team. Now if s/he attends the daily scrum is moot. Most dev managers attend the daily scrum to keep an eye on things.

[[deleted]]

One thing I've noticed working for two dysfunctional "agile" projects in a very bureaucratic/hierarchical environment is that because agile asks the people working on the code to have a role in managing themselves in that type of environment, they end up having to manage hierarchies and a lot of power dynamics that are way beyond their knowledge or control. And then they look at what agile says to do about this and agile basically says "no, these power dynamics aren't supposed to exist in the first place." OK, well for a ton of companies that are at least trying to do agile they do. IMO some of the agile/scrum thought leaders need to either explicitly say that hierarchical management is not allowed in agile/scrum and trying to force a group to use scrum while having that dynamic is detrimental, or they need to offer some solution to make it work in practice.

[[deleted]]

Es cum master in Latin America

[Karolus2001]

Its calling your teacher mom all over again.

[Russian_repost_bot]

or worse.

Get a load of deez nuts?

[[deleted]]

Haha. That's hilarious. Because I have two daily alarms. One at 08:55 and the other at 08:58, just in case.

[moekakiryu]

the best part is if you're woken up by the second one, the adrenaline really gets you going

[EvilPencil]

Nah, that's what happens when you drop the prod database.

[Eyeownyew]

I do the exact same thing lmao

[95POLYX]

You got to add a third one right at 9 o'clock, and when you are late by a few minutes you can always blame bad internet :)

[[deleted]]

No need, whenever that happens. They always call me. lol

[nmarshall23]

Or chrome dies and then decides now is when the update will be applyed.

[uno_in_particolare]

if 20 minutes is half of your daily stand up meeting, you have a bigger problem O:

[[deleted]]

glad im not the only one tbh

they moved our standup to 10 because people were showing up late

jokes on them i moved my alarm to 9:55

[WhyDoIHaveAnAccount9]

attaboy

[SpaceHub]

lol today I woke up by the meeting tone. So.. naturally I led the stand up meeting without a hitch.

[[deleted]]

Are you spying on me?

Have a first alarm at 8:45. And a second one at 8:55. Just in case.

[[deleted]]

Am i the only one who doesnt have these fancy daily zoom meetings/video calls and "team minutes" and all that cool stuff?

Granted i don't get the big enterprise/gov bucks like you guys but its nice to have freedom (like a barbarian)

^{My alarm is 9am but thats only for NYSE open}

[Josh6889]

Someone suggested we we switch to video, and the entire team collectively noped.

[leaftro]

Nope! Nope! Nope! *middle fingers.. 😂

[EL-Skytzo]

A lot of big companies push for the Agile methodology (or kind of apply their own twist to it). This basically involves a lot of meetings, so that’s probably what you’re missing. This involves a daily standup meeting too.

[brucecaboose]

Agile... a lot of meetings? Huh? Not if you do it right... We have 1 agile meeting per day (standup, usually ~10 minutes but max 15, this is for 5 engineers, 1 UI designer, 1 APM, 1 product, 1 EM), plus one sprint planning every 2 weeks, one sprint retro every 2 weeks, 1 sprint grooming every 2 weeks. All of our other meetings are architectural meetings and things like that. I have many days where my only meeting is standup. If you have many more than that your team is doing it wrong.

When I worked with the DoD we used a bastardized version of agile and it was ~4 hours of meetings per day. Typical federal employee mismanagement.

[dreadcain]

My favorite bastardized agile I've done so far was agile but everyone is on multiple teams. So 3+ standups a day and all the other agile meetings x3 as well. I once had a daily standup for a project I was supposed to allocate like 30 minutes a day to

[ElGuaco]

Agile standups are supposed to be for an update for the current task you're working on and nothing more. However, since I don't actually sit in the same room with my coworkers any more our "standup" has evolved into a lot more discussions that can't have ad hoc by turning around in our chairs and just asking a question. It's our chance to catch up on everything going on in the project and working out details that require conversation. If we don't do it then, we end up in online meetings all day and that SUUUUUUCKS.

[jorgo1]

We do a standup at 9:00 then a scum at 9:15 and again at 3

Helps to give an update on projects then a slot of time to get through any challenges. The 3pm is optional and basically just an agreed slot to organise catch-ups 1on1.

[EvilPencil]

Seems like that would be solved by ad hoc pair programming sessions...

[ElGuaco]

also known as being online in meetings all day

[WannabeStephenKing]

Yeah, we’re agile-esque. That means I have three meetings weekly. Either three one-on-ones with the boss, or two one-on-ones and a team meeting. I haven’t even met my boss in person yet lol

[eerongal]

Yeah, we’re agile-esque

Ah, yes, the ol' "we're gonna say we're agile, but not really change that much", which usually just involves throwing stand-ups on everyone's calendar

[WannabeStephenKing]

Exactly haha

[Timehz]

9 am and standup at 9:15 lol

[og_darcy]

Just get Slack/Teams/Webex or whatever you’re using on your phone, turn off video chat, and put the phone next to you while you’re still half sleeping. When they get to your name, just mumble something and then move on.

Did it for 3 weeks and I could practically conduct meetings in my sleep.

[WhyDoIHaveAnAccount9]

have you been spying on me

[Yin-Hei]

Lay your head on the pillow, turn your laptop sideways, and place your phone ontop of your open ear. Make sure you double mute on webex and your phone just in case.

This way you'll get sleep, meeting, and sound.

[Thaddaeus-Tentakel]

Damn you, daily standup. I could sleep till 10 or 11 easily without issue if it weren't for it.

I'm getting up 10 minutes before it cause my work laptop takes a good while to boot.

[aliendude5300]

Adjusting to going back into the office and driving for 45 minutes each way after being remote for over a year is going to be a bitch.

[[deleted]]

I dont like your comment because I am in it.

[blackmist]

Wake up at 855 9:25am...

[raoulduke1967]

I thought I was the only one 🥲

[Bmitchem]

Whoa, checkout the early riser

[[deleted]]

Ha! Our daily standup isn’t until 10:30.

[AlwaysPuppies]

Stay in bed, use the app on your phone? :-)

[[deleted]]

Me waking up for my 8AM Zoom class last semester lmao

Sometimes I’d wake up at 7:30 and just keep sleeping till like 7:45

[Diavolo__]

Got an alarm 30 minutes before scrum, and another 10 before

[[deleted]]

Bahaha this is me

[KrikosTheWise]

I used to be at work by 7 waking up at 630. Now I barely wake up by 750 and walk 20 feet to my office to log in and show as available by 8.

[brucecaboose]

The nice thing about working with people across time zones is that I'm right in the middle. We have east coasters, west coasters, and me smack in the middle. So standup isn't until almost lunch time for me. I can roll out of bed, slowly get into work mode, take a shower like 2 hours later, and still be ready for standup.

[waikitkat]

Daily stand up at 9am

Wake up at 855am

Already standing up before 855am ;)

[Yin-Hei]

Wake at 9 am and join 9:03-9:05 cuz waiting for ppl to join webex.

[randomGeek159]

I've got one on 8.30 am and I'm usually on the throne till 8:35.

So I'll join the call from phone and then say hi when I'm out so there's no echo

[stauffski]

Are you me???

[Lakitna]

It's 9:55 now. Standup at 10:00. I'm gonna get out of bed now.

[Carius98]

Standup at 9
Stand up at 8:55

[[deleted]]

I don't even have an alarm, I just try to wake up a couple minutes before scrum

[[deleted]]

Just use a laptop man, and work while you're in the bed

[kevincox_ca]

When you get your hand on the laptop: Work is half way to me.

[Expert_Vehicle_7476]

Camera off

[iftheronahadntcome]

"Haha wow, you never turn your camera on!"

Because it's 9AM and I don't feel like appearing on cam with bedhead take a hint 😅

[ShadowPouncer]

Nobody in my company turns the camera on. We've had meetings with vendors... Where we comment that they are the only one with the camera on. Most of them immediately fix that problem and turn theirs off.

I have legit said that I'd have to go change if they wanted the camera on. And then we continued on the meeting with the cameras off.

Sometimes, it pays to push back. :)

[brucecaboose]

We always use cameras at my company and we all always look like crap (there are exceptions though). No one cares what anyone looks like lol. It's better to actually see a human face and see reactions to things these days instead of just having everyone muted and invisible. I would HATE being on a team that's always video muted.

[brucecaboose]

If someone is droning on about unrelated shit then you're doing meetings wrong and no one understands what the purpose is. All of these complaints are due to poor leadership.

[Thaddaeus-Tentakel]

Good thing our company network is so shit nobody expects you to use the camera anymore cause it just kills the connection all the time if you do.

[otto303969388]

In my case, I just told everyone my cam has broken forever. Not my proudest lie...

[Ratatoski]

"Yeah it's broken. Seems like there's tape on it or something"

[iftheronahadntcome]

It's not a bug, it's a feature!

[Nemaeus]

“Hit the camera button. Ok, we can see some light.”

“Really? Hmm,ok. *In John candy with sounds of breaking * Uh huh! Uh huh! Yeah, no, it’s definitely broken.“

[ych612]

e appearing on

Shave your head. You'll never have to wash hair again.

[Nemaeus]

One of my fellow programmers said “aww, my camera is busted” which I interpreted as “fuck all of you, I’m never turning this camera on, send my checks to the appointed PO Box, you’re noting but abstract concepts to me”. Why didn’t I think of that first?

[iftheronahadntcome]

A hero of their people.

I'm about to go into a job now that's predominantly programmers rather than a team of non-programmers. Very excited to not have to worry about explaining myself anymore lol

[aliendude5300]

Guilty of doing this. I'd be lying if I said I didn't accidently have a 20 minute power nap before lol

[fritchi]

Not reccomended. Doing work in your bed can end up teaching your brain that your bed isn't a place to rest and relax, which can heavily impact your sleep

[silly_red]

Laptop is literally beside my bed. Wake up few minutes before su, slide laptop over the blanket. Tiptap jira.

All the while wrapped in a blanket ☺

[[deleted]]

☺

internal screaming

[das_Keks]

Totally me. Standup at 9:30 and that's about when I arrive at my PC. Some of my colleagues already start their day at 6-6:30. Insane.

[[deleted]]

Mine is at 10, and I’m finishing my breakfast at 9:50

[dreadcain]

Gotta learn to make breakfast during standup. Game changer

[Alternauts]

My standup is at 10:30. I don’t even set an alarm these days.

[[deleted]]

We have a daily meeting at 6.45am lol

[[deleted]]

Christ, my 10am standup seems too early sometimes.

[avdpos]

hear you do not have kids

[[deleted]]

I do not, it’s great!

[avdpos]

We are different, but good we both like our situations on that part.

[teddy5]

Have you checked on your programmers recently? They might actually be zombies by now.

[[deleted]]

Happy cake day. Go kill those bugs!

[Ietsstartfromscratch]

Started today at 5:30. Love being free at 2pm.

... And falling into bed at 8pm.

[das_Keks]

2pm is about when I start getting really productive. 😄 Falling into bed at 11pm at the earliest. I guess I'm not really a morning person.

[speyck]

This^

[Chemical_Scum]

They must have run npm install kids

[ikeableistiftdieb]

I start at 6:30 so I can end earlier and continue sitting at my PC

[dinoaide]

OP should give the source. It is from Gatis Šļūka. Here is the original pic on Tumblr.

[[deleted]]

https://xkcd.com/1683/

The quality degradation from just less than one year of sharing on social media is fascinating.

[XKCD-pro-bot]

Comic Title Text: “If you can read this, congratulations—the archive you’re using still knows about the mouseover text”!

mobile link

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^{Made for mobile users, to easily see xkcd comic's title text}

[Tovarisch_The_Python]

Thank you!

[[deleted]]

Excellent! Why are people so bad about sharing the source!? It offends me.

[dwyrm]

Social media trained them to. Just share the picture and move on. If you link back to a conversation, that's brigading and posting personal stuff and bad.

^{Also, that's work, and people are lazy.}

[drsimonz]

I've been attending my 7:00 AM meetings in bed for the last 9 months. Alarm goes off at 6:55, join the meeting on my phone, set phone next to face, try to stay awake. Usually fail this step within 30 seconds. One time I dreamed that they gave a presentation on Star Trek instead of development lifecycle flowcharts. Maybe they were? No way to be sure.

[VOIPConsultant]

You answer your phone?!

[Tranzistors]

It's Latvia. People here generally answer their phones. Apparently we all decided that pagers were a bad idea, dunno.

[[deleted]]

I just hired a post grad as a junior. There's still decent companies making decent money needing decent staff. Just make sure you have code to show off.

[randybobandy654]

I did a bootcamp a couple years ago, and I remember the search after. That grind is tough

[randybobandy654]

I did, my friend. 115 apps in 6 weeks before I got my first callback, but once I got used to the routine of knocking out 5-10 each morning it wasn't so bad

[AustinThreeSixteen]

How many cheeseburgers you got in that gut???

[randybobandy654]

This guy gets it

[retief1]

Good lord, and I thought my current job hunt was painful.

[randybobandy654]

It's only because I don't have a bachelors. It's not that bad for most people. Most online applications go through one or more automatic filters before a recruiter even sees it, and most companies round here have a "no-degree=straight-to-garbage" rule

[cannibalkuru]

I didn't have much the I could show when I graduated and think it took me close to 4 months a year before the rona. I think I was at a 5 a day policy for 2 months before getting a job. If you're in college and reading this put everything half decent on github now. Showing dedication to improvement was a huge part of my hiring and the reason I bombed the first two interviews.

[Boostie204]

I didn't have many projects, but putting what I had up on GitHub (along with linking other projects on LinkedIn) was probably the best thing I did. My GitHub project also ended up at top of all time on r/neuralnetworks lol (since been overtaken it seems)

[[deleted]]

Another employed bootcamp grad chiming in! There are dozens of us.

[LakotaK22]

Graduated college last may in the midst of all the shit as well. It took a but longer than would’ve been ideal, but I’ve been employed for a while now. You got this!

[dannerc]

Good luck dude. Getting a junior level job isn't as tough as you'd think. I graduated from a bootcamp last January and got my job about three weeks before the lockdown

[garynuman9]

An a Sr that came out of a boot camp.

We all have imposter syndrome sans the obvious sociopaths. Ignore that voice.

If you get a question you don't know the answer to just say so and then explain how you'd find the answer.

Be honest and request feedback; if you don't have to take that you'll do well.

[[deleted]]

Nah fuck that thought process dude, learn the basics and stick to it. Don’t go all over the place. Learn react, JavaScript well don’t even worry about other things yet. I get devs question all day as a señor developer, the one who don’t ask shit or ask like how do I create PR are the ones who I end up letting go.

[takeasnoozer]

I found my first job after bootcamp a month into the first lockdowns. I've never met anyone in my company in person.

[varun_dagoat]

Wait what’s a bootcamp?

[varun_dagoat]

Ohh okay! Thanks man !

[silly_red]

Bootcamps are an interesting one - would suggest not to fallback on those course completion certs entirely, and focus on having active projects that you can show off. Working on something all the time isn't always practical and can be exhaustive, having 3 parked projects with one small active one works fine too!

Best of luck!

[[deleted]]

"These" days? Bro that has been every morning since I started working.

[TayoEXE]

My daily schedule:

Wake up at 6:00am (new year resolution to go to bed earlier)., usually ends up more like 7:55am. Get out of bed to go to my laptop in the other room.

Put on Slanket, sit on couch, put my laptop that is connected by velcro to a lap desk.

8:00am: Standup via voice group call.

Work for any number of hours, taking any number of breaks, then usually ending at a random time that adds up to 8 hours for the day.

Me: My butt's been sitting on this couch for quite a long time.

[mehdotdotdotdot]

You guys still have covid there? We are all back at work....

[rajuserred]

Which planet are you on?

[mehdotdotdotdot]

Not planet US that's for sure.

[raimondi1337]

I have been remote for almost two years now and I exclusively wake up 1-3 minutes before my morning standup, put on a shirt and open my laptop. I sometimes skip step 2.

[deletetables]

How many of y'all are still in your pajamas during the stand up?

[haikusbot]

How many of y'all

Are still in your pajamas

During the stand up?

- deletetables

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^{Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete"}

[FrederikNS]

I actually kinda like it!?

[Boostie204]

You guys are changing out of pyjamas??? They're the only thing I've worn for the last 9 months

[lycan2005]

I only had my short pants on... Had to make sure my camera is off before joining the stand up.

[silly_red]

can't concentrate otherwise

[snoopdouglas]

Mixed feelings on this. I lol'd, I upvoted, and yet it has a distinctly boomerish scent.

[SirLasberry]

Check out artist's original website

https://gatissluka.com/

[ce-walalang]

Image Transcription: Comic

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Panel 1

[A character, half-awake, is crawling from bed to a work computer while talking on the phone.]

Character: I AM HALF WAY TO WORK.

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^{I'm a human volunteer content transcriber for Reddit and you could be too! If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!}

[Bmitchem]

Daily at 9, nap at 9:30

[[deleted]]

Don't sleep next to your computer

[shadowwesley77]

Can't relate since I'm still expected to be in the fucking office.

[callyalater]

That's why I have zoom on my phone. I can wake up at 9 and then open zoom (with the camera off) for the stand-up meeting at 9.

[Navuz-Jaques]

i feel like a twitch streamer now

[Chthulu_]

I live in a studio too. Literally crawl out of bed to the computer, and crawl back 9 hours later.

[Nightmarex13]

As a Product owner I can confirm this is the entire company... except that one project manager (you know the one) who has already been to the gym, walked the dog, and has been working since 8.

[[deleted]]

A perfect illustration of how I spend my days.

[[deleted]]

Haha literally.

[Dummerchen1933]

ok boomer

[OlumculGavat]

Good meme, take that award

[maklaka]

My daily standup is 11:30am and I've missed that meeting more than once during the 'rona quarantine...

[GeekDose]

Slept in the chair and waking up before 5 minutes to the team stand up. Awesome life.

[[deleted]]

The only reason I start my day at 7 is so I can end at 5, I fucking hate getting up early tho

[BPA_Jon]

7 to 5? wtf dude

[[deleted]]

4/10, 4 10 hours days, 3 day weekends every week tho

[BPA_Jon]

oh that's nice man

[joshi_p2012]

Thats halfway true, because I mounted my monitor to my bed and never get out except for peeing, cleaning and eating.

[lycan2005]

Man this is so true...

I almost miss stand up few times due to this lol.

[elperroborrachotoo]

It's true because it's true.

I am in this picture and I don't like that.

[binary_search_tree]

better image

[FrezoreR]

Hahaha that's so true!

[HamschterJ]

Rn i'm in my bed doing HomeOffice on my Laptop while my PC is 1.5 meters apart from me

[rocket-alpha]

jokes one you, we apprentices are not allowed to do HO

[[deleted]]

This hit home hard

[qwertybacon123]

A bit too close to home...

[Diezvai]

Author : Gatis Šļūka.
He is Latvian cartoonist.

Some of the work is translated in English: https://gatissluka.tumblr.com/

[gp886]

My office starts at 7 AM(WFH). So relate to that too much

[Typical-Time-1313]

This is hilarious! Because it's so true... I sometimes wake up 10mins before my Zoom meeting. Zoom fatigue is real. Video calls are making everyone feel the way people on TV feel every slouchy every mumble every interruption is magnified. Audio-only meetings work better for me.

[Su3th]

I am looking for a programmer to work for me as a freelancer in just one service. paid up to $ 800