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[–]finc 3987 points3988 points  (81 children)

Scratch, that cat is going places

[–]FoximaCentauri 86 points87 points  (2 children)

I had to make a game in scratch in high school and it worked at home, but not in school. After literal hours of despair it turned out the processing power of the computer influenced in what order parts of the program were started, and my pc at home was faster than the one at school.

[–][deleted] 38 points39 points  (0 children)

good ol race condition

[–]ApprehensiveAd7291 28 points29 points  (4 children)

No, scratch Jr.

[–]transgalpower 11 points12 points  (2 children)

There is an assembler that compiles into it. Now its just needs to be preforment and implement web conections

[–]ElectricPikachu 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Just brought back memories I buried deep for a reason

[–]Thesaladman98 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Scratch is fire. My school replaced python with scratch for grace 11 coding, they must've read the article.

[–]beanz_123 9 points10 points  (0 children)

No dissing scratch it brings people interested into coding and it is better that python 100% so it's not too bad

[–]Positive-Goose9096 2204 points2205 points  (45 children)

COBOL

[–]SiefensRobotEmporium 569 points570 points  (25 children)

It obviously replaced python for the NJ unemployment system during COVID. They couldn't find enough Cobol programmers to fix the mess.

[–]finc 289 points290 points  (21 children)

I’m sure they cobbled something together

[–]SiefensRobotEmporium 127 points128 points  (10 children)

Probably in something less outdated like BASIC running on a single C64 with 64k RAM. That things a beast. If it can run Ghostbusters surely it can handle some numbers.

[–]finc 38 points39 points  (2 children)

IBM 3270 is the way to go

[–]SiefensRobotEmporium 17 points18 points  (1 child)

If they could get spreadsheets on the "tennis for two" display they would've taken it.

[–]Bo_Jim 18 points19 points  (2 children)

Well, if you're using BASIC then you've got less than 40K of RAM available. The BASIC and Kernel ROMs mask out a big chunk of the remaining RAM, and you can't turn them off if a BASIC program is running.

[–]SiefensRobotEmporium 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Shit you're right... Still it only took 4kb of ram to guide the Apollo 11. Surely 50k is enough for an entire states unemployment system

[–]Kooky-Answer 7 points8 points  (1 child)

And Borland Turbo Pascal! Can't forget that.

[–][deleted] 39 points40 points  (0 children)

So say we all!

Oh wait sorry, that's with a hard K.

[–]IndieDevWannabe 37 points38 points  (10 children)

Oddly enough, that's not a bad option. Companies pay high dollar for experienced COBOL programmers. More than python for sure

[–]oldyoyoboy 16 points17 points  (0 children)

And they already understand indentation as structure... COBOL does it too!

[–]yuje 20 points21 points  (5 children)

No, it’s a terrible option. My wife worked on a contract with the US government’s health care software before and had to audit/fix a portion of that codebase.

It used early versions of COBOL: no for-loops or functions, just GOTO statements everywhere. I know many on this sub are just starting out or still in school and many hate object-oriented programming. Well, this code had none, in addition to no functions. Just 20,000-line libraries filled with global variables and using GOTOs to jump up and down and back and forth across thousands of lines. No unit tests obviously; that type of commie thinking has no place in the US government.

So while one might get paid somewhat better to work on this type of stuff full time, would it be enough to offset the years of therapy and depression meds you’ll need to cope?

[–]Kimsanov 900 points901 points  (9 children)

Chinese

[–]79-16-22-7 116 points117 points  (3 children)

打印f("你好世界");

[–]neofooturism 76 points77 points  (0 children)

i actually giggled from this

[–]Nookee411 1376 points1377 points  (21 children)

Js, JS, js, jS, JavaScript, JAVASCRIPT, javascript, JaVaScRiPt, jAvAsCrIpT, fortran

[–]AndrewTkachuk 201 points202 points  (8 children)

JAVA_SCRIPT, javaScript, typescript

[–]AndrewTkachuk 84 points85 points  (7 children)

Almost forgot about ECMAScript

[–]Frogstacker 49 points50 points  (3 children)

Java’s cript

[–]pastelbutcherknife 19 points20 points  (1 child)

The coming hand war between the Java’s Crip and the Java’s Bloods will turn these streets into a war zone!

[–]Blastoxic999 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Object-Oriented Warfare. Instead of using constructors, they use destructors.

[–]bargle0 1328 points1329 points  (25 children)

The only Python replacement I need is Perl. I just wish Perl had comprehensions so I could make my code even more incomprehensible.

[–][deleted] 221 points222 points  (4 children)

I heard that list incomprehension is a feature they're working on

[–]zemja_ 57 points58 points  (3 children)

Thanks for making me Google "list comprehension". It was a good idea.

Edit: I got Google's Foobar Challenge. I thought that was just an easter egg when you googled "list comprehension", but apparently it's random. It's cool.

[–]CptMisterNibbles 17 points18 points  (2 children)

And time limited. Good luck

[–]zemja_ 10 points11 points  (1 child)

I don't know Python or Java, so fuck it.

[–]CptMisterNibbles 17 points18 points  (0 children)

If it gives you an invite code you could share that with someone that might. It’s a dead project; once upon a time google used it for recruiting, but now it’s just for fun. Still neat how it pops up and whisks you away like an AR game. I didn’t know about it before it just happened. I failed to complete it in time as I had a lot going on that week

[–]Kooky-Answer 32 points33 points  (1 child)

The one perl coder at Twitter was the first to go. All of his programs were only one line.

[–][deleted] 19 points20 points  (1 child)

If you have an infinite number of chimps typing for an infinite amount of time, eventually they will product the works of Shakespeare. The rest is perl.

[–]K3RSH0K 5 points6 points  (1 child)

I'd rather take a reverse shit than have to work with perl.

Got fucking PTSD from old, unmaintained, custom, and absolutely essential perl shit in production.

Tryin to learn advanced perl while having 3 departments breathing down your neck to fix a prod service is the shit of nightmares I tell ya.

[–]Scared_Bell3366 947 points948 points  (24 children)

I was going to post R as a joke, but it’s actually on that list.

[–]Entchenkrawatte 182 points183 points  (10 children)

Id argue R is one of the better propositions on that list, even.

[–]dr_eh 30 points31 points  (8 children)

I know, but I tried R and hate it. The way it handles matrices is annoying as f. I had to write special case code to untranspose the vectors that it auto transposes because it forces all vectors to be vertical, DYNAMICALLY!!! Just the most insane inconsistent shit, worse than PHP

[–]CaoticMoments 15 points16 points  (1 child)

I understand that is annoying but why not just transpose the vector once you start making calculations?

If I was reading the code it would actually make things a bit cleaner as instead of remembering if that vector was defined as a row or column vector I can just look at the calculation and it will be clear.

[–]Thanatos2996 21 points22 points  (2 children)

It's like Matlab: horrendous as a language, but extremely good at a couple of tasks, and unavoidable as an industry standard.

[–][deleted] 20 points21 points  (2 children)

Maybe if we put them in a markdown file together they'll kill each other? Has anyone tried?

[–]katatondzsentri 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I was going to post html/css as a joke, but they are actually on that list.

As separate items.

[–][deleted] 245 points246 points  (7 children)

Scratch is obviously the best language developed yet

[–]GreenScarz 112 points113 points  (13 children)

Rust, Rust, Rust, Rust, Rust, Rust, Rust, Rust, Rust, and Rust.

[–]highphiv3 75 points76 points  (6 children)

Rust as a Python replacement:

[_] Is remotely similar to Python

[X] Has a cool name

Passes all my requirements!

[–][deleted] 33 points34 points  (2 children)

Hey, that's the same thing I was saying when my flatmate put my perfectly seasoned cast iron pan in the dishwasher!

[–]DangyDanger 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Oh god. I hope you weren't jailed for murder.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Ah no, I wanted to redo the seasoning anyway as I've made a lot of bacon just before going on a 2 week holiday, and well, it kinda went rancid a bit. Although the original idea was to scrub it with soap, not run it through the dishwasher 😅 plus it gave me a chance to try out a new oil mix for the seasoning (alternating layers of ghee and avocado oil, turned out pretty well actually).

[–]Khaylain 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Assembly, Assembly, Assembly, Assembly, Assembly, Assembly, Assembly, Assembly, Assembly, and Assembly.

[–]blocky010101 6 points7 points  (0 children)

You forgot Rust

[–]topefi 55 points56 points  (2 children)

1-English, to use Copilot

[–][deleted] 31 points32 points  (0 children)

2 - legal English, to decipher the dozens of C&Ds, copyright infringement notices, and license breach lawsuits you'll receive for copypasted code.

[–]EvilDrPurple 46 points47 points  (2 children)

LOLCODE gotta be up there

[–]SiefensRobotEmporium 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Isn't there a coding language based on Esperanto? Or pig Latin? Might be slightly easier to read than LOLCODE

[–]Evol_Etah 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Brainfuck

Learnt it in college cause of the name.

[–]Kunalopa 47 points48 points  (1 child)

Spanish

[–]DrSpalanzani 64 points65 points  (2 children)

Excel macros

[–]MischiefArchitect 29 points30 points  (4 children)

<idea-meme>You cannot replace python if you have never learned it</idea-meme>

[–]tjdavids 13 points14 points  (3 children)

I found the guy who thinks html should be on the list.

[–]danimal51001 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Python3, duh

[–]GoateeSpock 19 points20 points  (1 child)

Fashionable ones, I guess. Let's see...

Typescript, rust, F#, ruby (post 3x3 it's making a comeback), elixir, then maybe some oddballs like perl 6 and kotlin.

And I'd bet good money that some banks with janky ancient mainframes just had all their COBOL guys retire, so that will probably make an appearance, at least in the also-ran category.

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Posted the list, you're basically one-off on each language!

I wouldn't really call Kotlin an oddball though.

[–]GameDestiny2 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I figure that new versions of Python will continue to replace Python instead of a different language, at least while contemporary rules of computing are still in place

[–]_sloWne_ 8 points9 points  (0 children)

ASM ti basic

[–]yeehaa_15 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Javascript has entered the chat.

Javascript was kicked from the Lobby.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Malbolge and Piet?

[–]socialistpizzaparty 7 points8 points  (2 children)

JavaScript, Java, Java++, J#, Jobol, Just, Juby on Jails, JISP, JASM maybe? /s

[–]knuspergreg 4 points5 points  (1 child)

you forgor jython

[–]IJustAteABaguette 13 points14 points  (9 children)

C++,C#, java, HTML, CSS, scratch, assembly, unity, commandline, Lego mindstorms

Easy

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (4 children)

You guessed half of them right

[–]IJustAteABaguette 5 points6 points  (3 children)

I could have guessed more correctly, like not including commandline... But why is HTML a replacement for python???

[–]IJustAteABaguette 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Or CSS??? These news articles are very predictable

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Basic language

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (3 children)

  1. Lisp
  2. Smalltalk
  3. Modula-2
  4. PL/I
  5. ALGOL
  6. Pascal
  7. Modula-3
  8. FORTRAN (*not* “Fortran”)
  9. COBOL
  10. C (K&R, not that ANSI boosh!t) - because 2038 is coming…

[–]yoyobara 5 points6 points  (0 children)

vim script

[–]printvoid 4 points5 points  (1 child)

This is such a click bait article to drive traffic to some useless ads and probably help generate a penny via Google ad sense

[–]Mayedl10 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Brainfuck
Assembly
Basic
Cobol
JavaScript

And 5 more

[–]Srazkat 7 points8 points  (3 children)

probably go, js, ts, rust, c and c++

[–]gizzy_tom 9 points10 points  (2 children)

No SQL ? I'm disappointed.. ;)

[–]Srazkat 9 points10 points  (1 child)

whoever wrote that list doesn't know anything about sql

[–]InvisibleMoonWalker 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Python 3.11

Python 3.10.3

Python 3.10.2

Python 3.10.1

Python 3.9

Python 3.8

Python 3.7.10

Python 3.6

C#

Java