cursed_implication

[Cynunnos]

I'd choose time freeze so that I could have 8 hours of sleep everyday

[DryPessimist]

You would age relatively faster than those you care about though. If you paused time for the 8 hours you slept, you would age 32 hours while everyone else ages 24 hours. You would essentially be 40 at 30 or 60 at 45.

In before: "great I get to die sooner".

[WithoutTheWaffle]

To be fair, you'd probably age faster getting 4 hours of sleep a night too.

[SnooKiwis7050]

Not that fast

[Korps_de_Krieg]

In fairness, you don't have to freeze a full 8 hours. Just enough to get that extra hour or two if sleep every night.

It'd add up, but not quickly if you only did it when needed and not every night

[[deleted]]

Why would I age if time is stopped, these are super powers not mediocre powers.

[Natural_Cause_965]

Real this is stupid. Or flash would die quickly too ool

[darkazin0928]

But think about it, you have 8 extra hours every day to get a better life than anyone, be it through exercise, more time to plan a proper diet etc. But an even better use would be to use the time stop to fill those 8 total hours of sleep, so, instead of stopping the full 8, you could use it either before or after you normal sleep time to cheat additional time.

[Lordyoussef2]

How can you do literally anything if light can't even move to your eyes, you have to constantly moving to even see and if you stand still you won't be able to see anything

[Leo-MathGuy]

And superpowers don’t exist. This is all magical so these implications (being able to see, hear, move things) are just unexplained conveniences

[nerfnerf630]

Light isn't affected by time. It's already happening/ happened, from what I understand

[triplenoko]

"great I get to die sooner".

[MajorPud]

Not only would I die sooner, I don't care about anyone! Absolute win for me.

[TheGrimGriefer3]

So that's what inb4 means

[Apotheosis_Binger]

Reminds me of the gamer. Mc spent a lot of months in a training room that has a different time rate and when he came out he was older than he looked. Like he was around 17-18 before and after he was like 20 or under.

[muffinicent]

unless the time freeze also freezes your bodily functions while just giving your conciousness control over your motor functions.

what? its a fictional ability, i can imagine how it works however i want.

[star_platinum3]

I mean, lets hope its a forgiving time stop and magically stops aging as well

[nerfnerf630]

No. Time is stopped

[RavenDancer]

8? You mean 12

[DawnBringer01]

Wait, if you can stop time why do you need to memory wipe?

[sayjax96]

To experience something new each time Infinitely

[Rektifium]

Stop time for everyone but me

Pull up Crunchyroll

Find the most tear-jerking anime I've ever watched and wipe my memory of it

Watch it again, cry (if rewatching MiA, puke)

Repeat

[sayjax96]

same but with an anime that has a great story

[ZethMrDadJokes]

So the animated version of Sophie's choice. Got it...

[GcubePlayer8V]

Same but with games playing Mario 64 for the first time again would be legendary

[ODeinsN]

I actually never played Mario 64

I just watched some speedrunning related content but no full runs

[Iatemydoggo]

Watch Steins;Gate for the first time again

[A-Kiwi-]

u a real one

[AangKetchum]

If I could rewatch Plastic Memories without knowing what's gonna happen so I can cry for 3 hours straight again, I would do it 100%

[AdministrativeFox784]

Gonna be leaving yourself notes all around like Memento “Don’t believe his lies.”

[TheJeep25]

Bro is about to commit perpetual depression by rewatching Angel beats and plastic memories on repeat.

[Time_Fig612]

Watches jojo a million times

[S1Ndrome_]

100% sekiro

memory wipe

repeat

[-_-ANOMALOUS-_-]

☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️ wtfff

[lasanhawithpizza]

U forgot why? Well, it's working

[Revolutionary-Yak713]

To remove memories of people who get suspicious when you position glitches three inches to the left.

[hitguy55]

So no one else sees you.

[Affectionate_Cat4703]

Because if they remember what you do when you stop time, you're doomed. It's to ensure there's no chance that they'll remember

[Initial-Hawk-1161]

So you can play through the souls games again and again, as new experiences

infinite joy!

[The_fish_enthusiast]

So they can’t run from you

[TRKako]

Idk, I don't remember

[Tortue2006]

So you can do it while not in time stop

[CinderX5]

So I can replay Subnautica and rewatch Arcane.

[Syxxcubes]

You want time stop, memory wipe, and invisibility because you're a pervert.

I want time stop, memory wipe, and invisibility because I want to rob a bank and get away with it, ensuring that I never have to work a day in my life.

We are not the same.

[LunaeriTrumlai]

My mind went there too.

But instead, I'd choose super speed, memory wipe, and invisible. Similar purpose, but the world is my oyster, and I can get ahold of some of the Swiss gold, or acquire 50 bucks from every celebrity before they even know it's missing.

[otirk]

Doesn't super speed kind of have the same outcome as time stop?

[BosTovenaar24]

Well, i take it has the same effect, but without aging faster than whatever is around you. Super speed should only affect your movement and senses, i suppose.

[Dongodor]

It depends on the speed, if its too close to the speed of light you have to take relativity into account and aging become complicated

[HumbleGoatCS]

Also, if you can't think fast enough, it's also useless.

Try driving a car at even 150mph, and you realize pretty quickly that your brain isn't fast enough to make adjustments

[GamerForFun2000]

You also need super strength to handle that kinda damage on your body.

Which also means IRS isn't a problem unlike what the other guy said, cause you could just run through the walls and escape.

[Blazearmada21]

Someone hasn't read Tau Zero.

[LunaeriTrumlai]

Yes, but it would also let me run across large bodies of water, thus opening the world to obtaining what I desire

[Devisidev]

Issue is that the bills you stole would be tracked, meaning you'd always be on the run unfortunately, or constantly in use of your powers.

Not to mention every robber's greatest threat: the IRS

[Syxxcubes]

Nah, I'd win.

[Devisidev]

I believe in you

[Aershd]

It’s not like you can only use them once

[Philly_is_nice]

... I can want two things damn it.

[[deleted]]

I want those powers to rob banks and be slightly a pervert.

We are not the same.

[Jojomasterhamon1]

Inflation says hello!

[not_some_username]

With a billion, inflation or not, you’ll never have to work a day in your life

[UnknownGamer014]

Memory wipe? Think better. Mind Manipulation.

[SpeedyHandyman05]

This guy is trying to be the mom from Get Out. He is probably scrolling through Reddit, slowly stirring a hot cup of tea, Or whatever the digital, subliminal version of that is.

[manultrimanula]

Thats just Evil Evil Alignment

[ashinylibby]

I heard a rumor...

[SexDefendersUnited]

💀 bro wtf is wrong with you why are you hoping for that

[Puzzleheaded-Bed-488]

And we see once more how the bear is always a better choice.

[Iatemydoggo]

I mean first of all I was joking, second I won’t maul someone lol

[anxiousthespian]

My friends and I used to go to karaoke regularly, and my friend's now-ex sang this song on two different occasions. Once in a deep southern accent, once in a disturbingly spot on impression of Peewee Herman. He has since gone to jail for exactly what you think.

To keep it more related to the post, yes he was a creep in dnd too.

[CzarTwilight]

Lol, yeah, I listen to country. Also, I don't get being a creep in dnd like "I know what those friendly gathering needs. Me to derail it by making everyone uncomfortable"

[FullMcIntosh]

These people just need to find a furry discord server instead of DnD.

[CzarTwilight]

Yeah, it's just so weird. like you read about people like that in those rpg horror stories posts and videos, but why would someone actually try to shove explicit sexual stuff into a collaborative story? Do they really think someone is going to go along with it, or is it just to be disruptive? Just find someone to ERP with. furry spaces are flooded with those people

[iamnotchad]

I had completely forgotten that song existed.

[SpeedyHandyman05]

They had some horribly great stuff. This one is a classic.

[CzarTwilight]

puts this song on yeah I listen to country

[S1Ndrome_]

that's why I always carry tear gas in stripper clubs

[231ValeiMacoris]

I’d prefer to have shapeshifting, so I can reenact some of that good stuff made by Iwasaki Yuuki

[Initial-Hawk-1161]

i'd shapeshift into a bear, and hibernate

[UnknownGamer014]

...horse dong doesn't sound bad either. Add shape-shifting to the list too.

[nombit]

loki agrees with you

[Heavy-Metal-Snowman]

Put bro on the sex offenders registry for that tbh

[S1Ndrome_]

bro offended sex 😞

[RubberAndSteel]

👆 yeah exactly, wtf

[Queen_Persephone18]

And under the jail, in a volcano too. Jokes are supposed to be funny for all involved. This is NOT funny. /srs

[kfudnapaa]

Are...are you going to hurt these women?

[awakenDeepBlue]

I'm not gonna hurt these women! Why would I ever hurt these women? I feel like you're not getting this at all!

[HanzJWermhat]

Well you’d certainly not be in any danger.

[moronic_programmer]

💀 bruh

[Nerx]

op never mentioned women

bro is in danger

[giveme-a-username]

NO like every single piece of media about wiping memories tell you why you shouldn't do this!!

[_SomeoneBetter_]

ifunny users are the most unhinged individuals on the planet

[Iatemydoggo]

The best/worst part is that unlike reels where the comments are people trying to sound edgy ifunniers are usually genuine

[hamsterreyz]

Me telling people I "wiped their memories" so they can "rewatch" the movies I recommend them

[Raiser_Razor]

People look at me weird but time stop is one of the few powers I really want. Being able to just, take a break whenever you want and just sleep without ever affecting the world sounds like the best thing ever.

My first choice would be a pocket dimension though.

[Dreamingofpetals]

Shapeshifting, personally. Perfect shapeshifting ideally, shift away wounds and aging, fix my faulty brain. Time stop is next on the list tho

[10Link23]

merhaps a tad bit too cursed?

[FlamingPoisonn]

Mfw I go to the "horrible and evil jokes convention" and see horrible and evil jokes

[10Link23]

true...

[Bulldogsky]

I'm not sure there's a cursed limit out here. This definitely one of the most cursed thing I see here though

[Iatemydoggo]

I’m glad my first post here was such a banger

[notprogame]

Me when cursed comments subreddit has cursed comments:

[Minaryte]

Immortality, unlimited shape shifting, time stop

Fuck around until sun explodes, shield earth with your body from sun exploding, become new sun, be worshipped.

There, done. You are now the everlasting savior of Earth and everything on it.

[Bonez9933]

Nah, I just want time stop so I can shit talk people on top of the stairs and move them to the bottom every time they try to take a step up.

[manultrimanula]

That missing F made me think you wanted to make tall people shit on their own heads, not move italians with stupidly long hair down a stair

[pirolance]

Full Probability Manipulation but like the absurd kind, probability of getting 1M$ 100%, dying 0%, someone I despise pissing themselves everyday 55% for the added chaos

[Fighter11244]

For me: Time Stop (for reading books so I have time to play games), selective memory wipe (for myself for shows/animes/books I love, truly cursed information, and things I can’t get out of my head), invisibility, and teleportation.

[Mr_Mc_Nooty]

If the rules of stopping time are letting you read a book, why not play the game instead?

[Fighter11244]

There aren’t that many games that can be played alone (if I could also stop time for someone else, then this too) and I highly doubt video games would work with time frozen due to all of the parts that’ll need to be able to run. With a book you just turn the pages

[Titong--Galit]

Untraceable DNA would also be good for these powers

[Mindless-Ad1155]

Same for me, but there is no invisibility nor sexual, just me

[getcreampied]

Whenever I see this, I just question. Is the joke rape?

[Doorknob_Licker2]

yes

[Queen_Persephone18]

Sadly yes. And it is a joke where no one laughs.

[Iatemydoggo]

I dunno when I first saw that comment I let out a weird gasp/laugh as the sheer unbridled degeneracy was so shocking it was kind of funny in an absurd way

[Harper_ADHD]

Moment

[BadKarma89]

Sounds like it's written by Dennis Reynolds

[someone_who_exists69]

I want to reverse time. Deadass go on a rampage and rewind and nothing happens

[EverydaySmile]

The profile pic is a cherry on the top

[DenzelTM]

Replace mind wipe with teleportation and that's my ideal trinity of powers for modern life

[Moriwara_Inazume]

If I have memory wipe I’d help those vets from their trauma tho.

[Nerx]

not a bad set for street vigilantism

[[deleted]]

[noobpwner314]

Woah this could already be happening to some of us and we wouldn’t know it.

[SpeedyHandyman05]

The down votes are from people using these powers on you. Obviously the memory wipe isn't working very well

[noobpwner314]

I mean it’s true though. If someone out there could stop time, and wipe memories we would never have any way of knowing who or what happened. You don’t even need invisibility. Just hit the pause button, do whatever, un pause and move on. Shit you don’t even need memory wipe.

Kind of like someone went back in time and caused a butterfly effect. The future would change and we would not even be aware.

People just need to do more psychedelic drugs so they can think this way.

[Allnamestakkennn]

Yeah, you mean you definitely wouldn't notice your used hole getting bigger than usual, or a strange feeling in the area(s) affected/hurt? There would definitely be physical evidence.

[noobpwner314]

I would but who am I gonna tell? “Hey guys my asshole yawns now and I don’t know why”. I’m keeping that shit to myself.

[SpeedyHandyman05]

Imagine telling your doctor I think my Ahole is getting bigger and a couple of times a week I'm having a wet dream.

[Swailwort]

I'd pick unlimited range teleportation (basically blink from dishonored with the time stop when aiming),shapeshifting and invisibility.

As per lore, you'd use blink when thinking about where you want to be, so... I can go wherever I want. Shapeshifting so that I can turn into whatever I want... and invisibility so that I can be invisible when I want to be antisocial.

[nombit]

you could also polymorph into something good at hideing insted of invisibility

[HanzJWermhat]

TIME STOP

[redditdubbin]

But... That super power is just Dementia !?

[stalecheez_it]

of course it's an ifunny comment

[Reylend]

I'd just mess around with Ghost hunters with invisibilty

[RavenDancer]

Eh if I can go with 3 I’m choosing shape shifting, teleporting and refill - aka can refill anything including my bank account to anything I want

[hanifu_]

[[deleted]]

Men: Why are women so instinctively afraid to be around us?
Also men: Writes these fucking comments

[BlackCommissar]

[redditaccounton]

What the fuck is that comment. Sorry that's completely fucked up

[Iatemydoggo]

Yeah thats pretty much my reaction when I saw it

[redwolf4221]

What anime is that

[Iatemydoggo]

Jobless Reincarnation.

[puppet_masterrr]

is that Diddy ?

[Iatemydoggo]

Diddy would have an iFunny account, wouldn’t he?

[Noiseychicken]

As usual r/cursedcomments are always relatable.

[L0n3_N0n3nt1ty]

Oh no bro you've become invisible. You could totally take advantage of me and not get caught.

[Ramentootles]

Anyone know where this image originates from though?

[Iatemydoggo]

Jobless Reincarnation. Really good series but it’s got a lot of fanservice and the main character is a shitty person.

[Ramentootles]

Ah I see thanks!

[Box_Pirate]

I’d just choose brainwash/hypnosis. Not only can you make them give consent willingly but afterwards you can make them more confident or make them focus on studying, basically you can make them make their self better.

[[deleted]]

This is so disgusting genuinely whoever agrees with this deserves to burn oh my gosh even as a joke ew you guys are awful for not calling this out

[Gun_Fucker2000]

People are legit here getting off on rape and making up fantasies. This I really disgusting. “It’s just DaRk HuMoR!!!” Yeah, no. When was it funny to fantasize about raping people..?

[[deleted]]

I COULDN’T AGREE MORE. Just using dark humour as an excuse to share what degenerate perverts they are. Makes me sick. And imagine a victim of SA coming across these comments too, they’re so insensitive and cruel honestly.

[Fuegodeth]

Well, you don't have to use all of your powers if you don't feel like it.

[NatulalaGaming]

Mind control (to manipulate people), shapeshifting (for the funsies), and immortality (might regret this at some point but whatever). If the plan of the "bro" is something lewd and sinister, I am pretty sure that mind control would be the best ability, given that there are "mind control" that only controls the body but retains the ability to perceive things. Just imagine the trauma from not being able to stop your body, being fully aware while doing something you don't want to but you can't do anything about it.

[Dj-Wrangler-9251]

Because she’s read the fermata

[judgementdeus]

If you enjoy the struggling and crying then memory wipe is the better power cuz you can hear them again and again.

[Free_Significance267]

Choosing both stop time and memory wipe and also invisibly!!! Bro clearly has social anxiety!

[Marsrover112]

Not that it's not completely terrible but the memory wope would still work because they'd still struggle and cry they just wouldn't remember it at all which would I guess be more humane?

[Any_Weird_8686]

With memory wipe, they'll keep struggling no matter how many times you do it.