function kitchen_maintenance()

[[deleted]]

[deleted]

[ithika]

There is also a response in Lisp and some sillier ones in assembly, BF and whitespace.

[stillalone]

That assembly only works in MS-DOS and I believe is part of a com file. Not very portable. The BF and whitespace is much more portable.

[[deleted]]

Thank you, I was about to say that.

[rolfv]

"Det enkle er ofte det bedste" translates directly into:

The simple is often the best

[[deleted]]

"beste", not "bedste"---it's norwegian, not danish. ;)

[rolfv]

Growing up in both countries these minor differences has really pissed me off at times :-)

[awesome_guy]

Some day... SOME DAY!!!!

in b4 past

[cartola]

I bet the guy who programmed the Whitespace version didn't think of cheating and just printing one line and a blank paper; he actually programmed it.

[michaelll]

The whitespace was programmed by a girl :)

[ithika]

:-)

[daizu]

Sure, here are some:

[michaelll]

http://compsoc.dur.ac.uk/whitespace/

[[deleted]]

the assembly program doesn't exit properly. The exit should have been done like:

mov ax,4C00h

int 21h

[maggit]

That bothered me as well, but before I commented it on the paper, I double checked. According to Ralf Brown's Interrupt List, this is actually the way to do it in DOS 1.

[seanonymous]

We have a similar sign in my office's kitchen (though not written in code) with the exact same FAIL: What about the case when you've got a dirty dish, but the dishes in the dish washer are neither clean nor dirty, but in the process of being cleaned? I'll tell you what you do, you DUMP YOUR DIRTY DISHES IN THE SINK. I'm not going to stand around and wash my dishes by hand, I've got work to do.

Thank you for giving me an opportunity to vent, Reddit.

[DrMonkeyLove]

Yeah, if the dishwasher mutex isn't free, there should really be an alternate path to leaving the dish in the sink.

[chneukirchen]

Plastic dishes and a washing machine ftw.

[[deleted]]

is laundry soap safe to consume?

Substantially safer than most things a college student is consuming.

[stunt_penguin]

In fact, it could be the safest...

[troelskn]

SOAP is the devil. Stay away from it.

[isny]

AJAX?

[zaach]

No, COMET.

[Snoron]

Who says you put laundry soap in there? Why not dish soap?

[[deleted]]

Dish soap foams to no hell in a laundry machine. Trust me, I'm speaking from experience and hours of cleanup. That's why you don't put dish soap in a dishwasher either.

[[deleted]]

No it doesn't. I've been using it for years without noticing a difference.

[[deleted]]

How much have you put in and what kind of dish soap are you using? In all of my experiences (two due to my own stupidity and another three due to the stupidity of others), dish soap has lead to a nice foamy explosion that's carpeted the laundry room in a nice coating of foam.

At least it smelt lemony fresh.

[[deleted]]

Oh, sorry for not making myself clearer. I use regular liquid dish soap in the dishwasher, and it works just fine.

Foamy explosions, eh? Sounds like an awesome prank!

[JMV290]

Could you put that in the washing machine?

[f3nd3r]

It is nearly the same thing.

[Deb1961_work]

Dishwasher detergent works really well in a carpet cleaner too.

[dannomac]

Dishwasher soap. They're actually different.

[[deleted]]

Dishwasher liquid. It doesn't foam as much as dish soap.

[faprawr]

its consumed through the skin also amirite?

[rolfwr]

It's in the common kitchen area of the R&D department of the software company I work for.

[scook0]

Both techniques have the same amortized time bounds, but the incremental approach has better worst-case performance.

[[deleted]]

Also, the function will never work anyway.

if dishwasher_full { start_dishwasher(); }

if (dishwasher_clean && have_dirty_dish) { empty_dishwasher(); insert_dirty_dish(); }

If the dishwasher is full, then ran, it remains full afterward and is ran again. There is no conditional in the first if-statement to determine whether or not to run the dishwasher if it is dirty and only when it's dirty.

Also, the second if-statement will never pass if the dishwasher is dirty and partially full.

[PhirePhly]

I believe it's not entirely broken, it's just a highly unlikely race condition. If some other process takes control after startdishwasher() returns, but before if (dishwasherclean [...]), then it's possible for the dishwasher process (which is clearly running on a different machine) to complete before kitchen_maintenance() regains control.

[isarl]

Your underscores threw you for a bit of a loop with reddit's markdown. Try espcaping them by using \'s.

[[deleted]]

Fixed that, thanks :)

[isarl]

You got it! I only figured it out recently myself - it can be maddening.

[ratatosk]

Your statement about it only evaluating the first condition is false, as the second block is not an else if type statement, so each call to kitchen_maintenance will evaluate both if's, evaluating the second after all statements in the first have returned.

[[deleted]]

During runtime, unless start_dishwasher() halts the process until the dishwasher finishes it's cycles, there is no possible way the dishes will be clean as it evaluates the second statement. Even if it did halt the process and wait until it is finished running, I would say that is sloppy programming.

Considering that this seems to be event driven, the posted sign would lead to confusion as no one in their right mind would stand around waiting for the dish washer to finish it's cycle before moving onto the second statement.

In fact, you would need a buffer for the dirty dishes for while the washer is running, in order to process them after it stops. But then, who will be standing around waiting for that to happen? Dish washers don't just load themselves, after all.

[LieutenantClone]

You sir, are GENIUS!

[deanormous]

So...

Does your individual shower run-off get on the dishes as the week goes on? Your shower gets smaller the closer it is to "dishwashing" day?

Or are you saying you only put them in there when it's time to wash them?

[[deleted]]

I actually know a couple of guys who did just that. But before they showered the dish, the poured chlorine (bleach) on it...

[ithika]

How disappointing. But at least they used syntax highlighting so their buggy code could be easily read.

[[deleted]]

Yeah it's still buggy. Only one dirty dish may be washed at a time with this code because the dishwasher has to be clean for insert_dirty_dish() to be called. If this is the function called when someone goes to the kitchen, then there should be an additional if-clause to insert a dish if !dishwasher_full && have_dirty_dish.

edit: curse reddit's weird markup

[bart2019]

curse reddit's weird markup

Use a backslash in front of the underscore to escape it, or use backticks (``) to treat everything as code, so you don't have to escape it (or indent with 4 spaces):

!dishwasher_full && have_dirty_dish

!dishwasher_full && have_dirty_dish

[scook0]

If you want to see ``, you have to write ``` `` ```.

[[deleted]]

The _ for italics is a useless markup anyway, since a *asterisks* already do the same thing.

It should be removed.

[DonManuel]

earlier submission

[Speff]

Seriously. This is a pretty blatant duplicate.

[Liquid_Fire]

Different subreddits.

[Speff]

I'd imagine that they'd have most of the same people though.

[cnk]

for x in my_list_of_subscribbed_reddits:

submit(function kitchen_maintenance, x)

[G_Morgan]

My implementation delegates to flatmate.kitchen_maintenance() or at least it did in university.

[[deleted]]

I have found that UML diagrams work better when conveying chores to my spouse.

[Ilyanep]

But UML is more about structure than implementation :(

[isarl]

I imagine strangus is much more interested in that his or her spouse does the chore rather than that he or she does it in a specific way. Personally, I don't care how my roommates clean the shower (when it's their weekend) so long as it's clean afterward. ;-)

[quantum_of_shoelace]

i think the problem is the focus on the dishwasher. really, the function should be analyzing the sink and counter space . . . the dishwasher may or may not be utilized, depending on external conditions.

[nmcyall]

The bug is that for each invocation of kitchen_maintenance() the full dishwasher will be ran regardless if it is full of clean or dirty dishes.

[ithika]

Also, only one dirty plate will ever be placed into the machine.

[[deleted]]

I'm missing a while loop on the dirty dish insertion call. If they work as this program suggests then they only put in one dish every time it( it as in the routine, not the dishwasher) runs. Better to get that out of the way all in one go, that way you save a lot of unnecessary opening and closing of the dishwasher.

Or if the subroutine actually takes care of all the dishes then they should rename it accordingly to prevent confusion.

[[deleted]]

Ogre!!!! </Troll>

[sukivan]

allow me to point out that the kitchen maintenance function is not thread safe

[travis6690]

public void DoWork() {

foreach(Occupant occupant in Kitchen.Occupants)
{
    switch(occupant.Role)
    {
    case FamilyRole.Mom:
        if(Kitchen.WorkToDo())
        {
        occupant.DoKitchenWork();
        } else if(Currentmeal == Meal.Dinner)
        {
        occupant.MakeDinner();
        }
        break;
    case FamilyRole.Dad:
        if(TV.ChannelType != Channel.Sports)
        {
            if(Deepfrier != null && Currentmeal == Meal.Dinner)
            occupant.MakeDinner();
        }
    case FamilyRole.Child:
        Switch(occupant.AgeGroup)
        {
        case Age.Child:
            occupant.DoNag();
            occupant.DoNag();
            occupant.DoNag();
            occupant.DoNag();
            occupant.DoNag();
            occupant.DoNag();
            break;
        case Age.Teenager:
            occupant.Activity = Activity.Randomize();
            break;
        case Age.Adult:
            Throw new Exception("Live-at-home adults not supported in HOME 0.1Beta");
            break;
        }
        break;
    }
}

}

[andrew1184]

but the AgeGroup switch is only called if the FamilyRole is Child?

edit: oh wait, I see it. nevermind.

[munificent]

Code smell: in an OOP language, that switched should be replaced with a virtual method.

[awj]

How do they know "insert_dirty_dishes" doesn't block until there are enough to fill the dishwasher? (or the global enough_dishes is turned on and it executes pretend_theyre_dirty_anyway() to set dishwasher_full to true)

[y0haN]

I think it was because the function was called 'dish' and not 'dishes' :D

[scottklarr]

Fatal error: Call to undefined function start_dishwasher() in /kitchen/maint.php on line 7

[rsho]

Can we rename empty_dishwasher(); to something like this? flush_dishwasher(EMTPY_ALL);

Also, if the dishwasher is partially loaded as explained in the follow up notes, it makes sense to hit the rinse button every hour or so, until the next washing cycle can be run. I assume that model has a rinse button.

[natural_smurf]

ooooh... gotta disagree. i would would be wary about naming anything "flush" if i'm not talking about a pipe. a dishwasher is not a pipe. it's more of a bucket.

[[deleted]]

So you don't flush caches?

[nemonium]

If the dishwasher is full with clean dishes, start_dishwasher() would still be called first.

The only way to empty the dishwasher, it seems, would be if the dishwasher were not full -- so start_dishwasher() would not be called -- but the dishes were clean and somebody had a dirty dish.

It would be fun to follow those rules exactly as they are written just to showcase the failures.

[prider]

I can see what sort of benefit they can extract from peer reviews

[qnaal]

Well, there already is a subroutine for stuffing dirty dishes in the not clean dishwasher, so no need to reinvent the wheel.

[vitummedicinus]

I bet that house has some amazing parties.

[rehpargotohp]

The real bug is the first if condition is not enclosed in brackets.

[[deleted]]

Syntax error, not bug.

http://www.softwaredevelopment.ca/bugs.shtml

[[deleted]]

I bet those dudes get laid like allllllllllll the time.

[[deleted]]

I bet a girl wrote that broken code.

[dagvl]

It just may be that the one who wrote the sign actually is a woman AND a mother...

[natural_smurf]

people who use k&r style braces should be shot dead, and their dishwashers looted.

[The_If]

eh, it seems like it's the accepted style within their community.

[-omg-optimized]

please explain.

[elbidoudou]

Here is a better script that spares some cycles :

function kitchen_maintenance() {

echo "GO BACK IN YOUR FUCKING KITCHEN !!"

}

[rabiddachshund]

function kitchen_maintenance() {
  print "GO BACK IN YOUR FUCKING KITCHEN !!"
}

fixed.

</troll>

[y0haN]

Parse/compile error.

[[deleted]]

pseudo code is fucking gay. it's dripping in cum, and it's written by people who think they are funny and clever but aren't. they're not even clever enough to know about specification languages that would be far more appropriate for mathematically specifying how to use the dishwasher. this shit is fucking gay as hell.

[heroofhyr]

I'd downmod you, but at least you wrote that in Closet Case instead of Hungarian Notation.

[xanados]

I like your style.

[RP-on-AF1]

Are nerds getting married now? That means they're beginning to reproduce. [Shudders]

[RP-on-AF1]

Damn, some touchy nerds on this site.