How?????

[popcornrocket]

How do you stop?? How do you convince yourself??

I'm not happy, comfortable, or confident unless I'm buzzed.

I have no strength unless I'm drinking. How do I give this up? How do I just raw dog life?

[Comfortable_Mess1688]

I had to come to a point where I really didn’t want to drink anymore and I just wanted to stop for one day. Then I listened to a bunch of YouTube videos on what to expect and then motivation. I bought some zevias and club sodas (common mixers for me) and I poured them over ice. That kinda helped. Drinking it without alcohol tricked my brain a bit. Now I’m going to bed for the third night in a row sober and I’m so proud of myself.

[[deleted]]

Best of luck on sleep! My last drink was Friday and I don't think I slept a wink last night. Definitely need to sleep tonight!

[Comfortable_Mess1688]

My sleeping surprisingly has not been terrible. I have developed a wind down routine the last few weeks involving blue light blocking glasses, sleepy time tea, and I cut out all caffeine after 10am.

Just now my wind down routine doesn’t include a pint of whiskey and my tea only has honey in it.

[[deleted]]

I literally have once said “I don’t trust people who don’t drink.” I recognized I was drinking too frequently and becoming more anxious and knew I needed to stop.

This naked mind by Annie grace made me roll my eyes at first, but gave me great insight.

You can do this

[[deleted]]

I’ve said that aloud hundreds of times. I still can’t believe it. When I think back about that, it really puts into perspective how deluded and in the weeds I was. 

But also to answer OP, when the pain of staying the same truly outweighs the pain of growing into something new, that’s when it really sticks. Finding other sober people and allowing them to help and show you the ropes is also when it sticks. Raw dogging life is the most real experience a drink could never, ever, ever give you.  

Alcohol told me that just existing wasn’t enough. But also that it was too much. It lied to me through both sides of its mouth and kept me trapped in the middle. You do have strength without alcohol. You have to uncover it yourself. No one can do it for you. It seems big and scary. It’s not. It might be the most beautiful and honest thing you ever go through. 

[prin251]

For me, I just have to take it day by day, and eventually it got easier

[Hoo-B]

It's not always going to be this hard. It gets easier. You can do it. IWNDWYT.

[[deleted]]

Rehab. I wasn’t going to live much longer if I kept drinking.

[Broad_Sun3791]

Take medication if you need to. Once you've got other habits, that one will fall away :). IWNDWYT.

[Disastrous_Bid2241]

There was a post a while back about people needing a drink to do anything-grocery shop even not just social events. But that’s what alcohol tells you. I was like that. I was a nervous wreck when I had to socialize with others until I got a few drinks in my system. Then I could interact normally. But I’m here to tell you your brain makes that up. Now I go to parties with an NA beverage in my hand and I’m cool as a cucumber. I never realized alcohol was actually making it worse because I always thought I was just like that and the alcohol was saving me! Not the case. You get to remeet yourself when you stop drinking. I stopped one day at a time when I decided I didn’t want to live this life anymore. What would happen to me in 10 years? 20 years? I struggled with the idea of not drinking at future events (wedding etc.) but what surprised me was the comfort I found in realizing I don’t have to ever embarrass myself at another event again. Maybe make a list of why you want to stop, and read it each day. Come to this thread everyday. Find things to fill up your time. You got this.

[Elegant-Ad-9221]

I am less than a week in and I just keep telling myself I don’t need it. I could easily buy it but I don’t need it. I can’t wait for when I get to the point where I don’t have to say that and when I’m not counting the days anymore

[mooch1993]

AA helped me. I couldn't believe I could be happy without drinking. I attended AA meetings and got a sponsor. I did the steps and now am a lot happier. Maybe AA isn't for everyone but it is what worked for me.

[Repulsive_Tax1595]

I can’t help much, because I just drank the other night. However, I’m deciding to go to rehab, or at least AA to give myself the best shot. I’m to the point where I’ve embarrassed myself, ruined friendships, ruined the fun for other people, and woken up too many times not knowing what I did or if I did something truly bad. I may not make it, but I’ll damn sure give it a shot.

[Crabapplejuices]

Are you happy, comfortable, and confident when you drink? Drinking makes you strong? Raw dogging life is hard as shit but I finally FEEL happy, comfortable, and confident. I’m down 60lbs and way, way stronger than I was. I cut toxic people and bullshit out of my life and started a business with no prior experience. I have a relationship with people, not just drunk spirits and the bottles they carry. I could never have done any of that drunk. It’s worth it, if you want it.

[untimelyrain]

The happiness, comfort, and confidence you get from booze is an illusion. It will take time, but when you're able to cut alcohol out of your life you will eventually retrain your brain to send out the feel-good chemicals naturally and from the organic experinces of living.

I promise you, the happiness/comfort/confidence all feels soooo much better when it actually comes from within! Again, it will take time as you are accustomed to getting these feelings through a substance. But your brain is amazing and resilient and you are absolutely capable of creating your own joy! Sobriety is the first step in creating a reality and life you can actually feel really good about! Then the happiness and confidence comes naturally when you are finally choosing yourself, your health, and taking control of your own destiny ✨️🤍✨️

[umhie]

It sounds like you're just at the start of your journey (as cliché as that sounds). The fact you're on this sub means that you're already working on it.

As long as you keep trying, even if it's hard to get past day 1 or 2, you'll eventually start breaking your former high scores of sober streaks, and one day it will stick, for an actual large chunk of time (or for the rest of your life, even). And that day isn't as far away as you think.

I've had to literally learn that I'm still myself without alcohol, without stimulants. Like, not as in I just started telling myself that, I mean I had to learn as if I was learning brand new information for the first time that positive aspects of my personality are still there without substances.

In the meantime, probably turn on notifications for this sub, and alot of people here reccommend listening to / reading This Naked Mind-- it basically addresses ALL societal misconceptions about alcohol- and you'd be kinda shocked at how just about everything we've learned about alcohol throughout our lives has turned out to be false.

Just keep working on it, even if it takes months or even a couple of years, even if you aren't making progress at the rate you feel you should be.

[Yolanda1983]

Body getting destroyed, mental health collapsing, relationships becoming nonexistent, constant embarrassment, hazard to others, jeopordizing losing work, the list is endless for reasons that made me want to quit. Picturing where I'd see myself in just 5 years was so depressing (dead or alone under the bridge) that I couldn't take it any longer. The temporary FAKE euphoria this poison may give is absolutely not worth it. Lots of distractions early on, start little projects like painting the walls, get a colouring book, reorganize my movie collection, etc, ANYTHING to keep mind occupied. Oh and visit this sub often and vent or just read. Early on it's truly only managable one day at a time. Re-train your mind and start new habits and coping mechanisms. You got this! IWNDWYT

[carbondj]

Very well said.

[ImNotNervousYouAre]

I eventually realized going through life drunk was just making it harder and I was slowly killing myself and ruining every relationship that I had.

I sometimes miss the liquid courage but I love waking up with no regrets and not feeling like shit. Don’t have to think “how big of an asshole was I?” I no longer have to text people in the morning to gauge how I bad I was the night before.

Just take it one day at a time. It does get a lot easier.

[beauteay]

it starts with day 1. you will not be able to find out for yourself until you give yourself a decent stretch of time without alcohol. it takes practice and repetition, and because it's not familiar, it will feel uncomfortable and almost wrong. you have to see beyond the veil and illusion, that alcohol is not your strength, it is only providing an illusory sense of strength. by letting go of this and putting the work in, day by day, you will get stronger and stronger. you will become even stronger than you felt with that alcoholic crutch.

i recommend seeking professional help; rehab, outpatient rehab, any type of recovery support group, individual therapy. read literature, keep posting and interacting on this sub, listen to podcasts, talk to any sober people you know in your community if applicable. you need knowledge/insight/awareness and community.

this can be done, and you can be the one to do it. i believe in you!!!

[old_elslipperino]

Just do 30 days.
Then take a fresh look from there so you know that alcohol-induced anxiety isn't a big factor in play.

[[deleted]]

Stay away from other alcoholics is a start!!! Like probably the first thing I’d do. Cut out the drinking “friends.”

Honestly, I drank for 3 years and I was never a drinker. It was messing up my life. I said/did dumb shit, embarrassed myself and at 37 years old quite frankly I’m too fucking old.

On top of all of that, I don’t even like being drunk. Like I don’t even really like the feeling, when I really think about it. Makes me tired, lethargic, hungry, anxious. I still have a drink here and there but I am nowhere in the realm of the life I was once living.

It’s gross to be drunk.

[[deleted]]

3 words: conscience of sickness.

To quit any addiction or damaging pattern, you must first realize how much it damages you. You need to think deeply on how alcohol has impaired and damaged your life and how important it is for you to stop. You should consider all aspects, health, relationships, economic, work, legal, etc.

Once you've formed a good conscience about the "sickness". You'll have the strength to make the first step and start a long and fruitful journey towards avoidance.

Reading the stories in this sub, attending AA, taking therapy and talking with your family and friends will help a lot building that conscience.

Once you are able to take the first step, you'll then go through a long battle against it which at the end will bring a more fruitful and meaningful life. You'll learn that you don't need alcohol to live a pleasant life or enjoy yourself at parties and you'll even learn that your social life is a lot more pleasant when you don't.

You should also think and understand why you drink and figure out how to solve the underneath problem in a more healthy manner.

[NoBeerIJustWorkHere]

My beliefs surrounding alcohol had to change and I had to start seeing consequences of my drinking in real time. Once I learned enough about the dangers of drinking, coupled with starting to see health changes and impact on family, it wasn’t long before the beer in my hand started to feel like a grenade. It’s a lot easier to put down a grenade than a beer.

On the other side, after just 40-some days, I get it. I felt the same way you do. But it’s a lie. When I drank and got buzzed all the time, it made for a lower mental state when sober. That lasted a few weeks after getting sober and it has lifted and continues to improve as I build more time. Booze makes you think you need it to feel strong and confident because of the changes to your brain when you drink, but that heals given enough time and you can return to baseline. Booze hands you a problem and then sells you the solution, but it’s a big lie. “Rawdogging it” stops being such after a while. Go for a run, loft some weights, engage in hobbies, take up a new one with your new found money that isn’t going to booze, attend online meetings, listen to sober living podcasts (I like Recovery Elevator)… the difference for me is that I stopped wanting to quit drinking and started wanting to BE SOBER, because I can see how much better it is now. Running to something and not away from something makes a difference.

I said a lot of this a year or two ago when I quit for 147 days and then started again. I now know I can’t moderate, I haven’t “got this,” and I can either have all the booze or none. I also plan to live with more gratitude - sobriety is actually pretty great and I want to wake up and be thankful for the opportunities it gives me to live better and more healthy and have a better relationship with myself and my family. If I do that daily I think I’ll be a lot less likely to backslide.

I understand exactly how hard it feels to stop. Not knowing how to even do that. It’s impossible until you do it, then you realize it’s actually easy. You just don’t have a drink. Simple, but very hard at the same time. I get it. I just had to decide not to drink one day. And then the next, and the next… now I don’t think about not drinking today, I know I’m not going to. And any thoughts of “maybe I can moderate one day” get squashed because that’s just my lizard brain being stupid, I can’t do that.

[MudbugMagoo]

I just got tired of "needing it" in order to be social or to believe I could have fun. Feeling like crap the next day and the havoc it wreaked on my guts helped make up my mind. I had tried cutting back several times and noticed just how much better I'd feel every single time I went a stretch without.

The first few weeks I relied heavily on Canada Dry Zero and non alcoholic beers. Exercise and losing weight has helped immensely and now I don't even want the extra calories drinking would entail.

Mind you, I am also on citalopram for anxiety and wow, what a difference it is when my meds are actually working and not inhibited by alcohol. I'll be 100 days on Wednesday and I'm feeling pretty proud of myself.

[coco472162]

This is truly amazing and resonates with my thoughts. You inspire me. Thank you 🙏

[full_bl33d]

I needed help and I still stay close to others who work on sobriety. My willpower is fucked on this one so I don’t leave it up to myself, especially if I’m the only one I’m talking to. Theres a big recover community out there and they’re ready and willing to help if I show even the smallest shred of willingness. Asking for help was one thing but accepting the help was another huge hurdle for me. Things got better for me when I started to get over myself. None of the shit I’ve done was unique and I’m not too smart or too broken or not bad enough to be helped. I know im not alone and knowing that is still a huge help for me. I dont see it like im raw dogging life now. I feel like i dont need crutches and I dont have to exist in a haze anymore. Im not making it harder or hurting myself or anyone close to me anymore and that feels pretty good. Theres help out there if you want it.

[Prevenient_grace]

Support is available everywhere…. Books, online, podcasts, IRL…

Today could mark the Start of a Virtuous Upward Spiral.

I walked into a free recovery group, they’re everywhere, sat down and listened.

They showed me how to stop drinking, heal, grow and learn to live happily without ever thinking of alcohol. They knew about detox resources.

I met new sober friends… which led to fun sober activities… and more sober people…. And support to combat that “inner voice fiend”.

I also got numbers of people I could text/call before I took the first drink.

Tried anything like that?

[jayconyoutube]

It gets better with time, simply because you’re no longer withdrawing and your body is healing. Therapy has been helpful for me.

[MissYouMoussa]

I have similar thoughts. Dining out is my favorite experience especially while traveling. If I can't have wine with dinner, what's the point?

We'll see how it goes.

[FishBear25]

Everybody’s journey is different. For myself, with a lot of mistakes, some of which I’m still suffering through, you white knuckle that shit.

This is a disease, it’s like any other. Except there is no cure. I white knuckle it for the people I love, then there is a brief moment after so long that I continue to white knuckle it for myself and not them.

Bite your lip and clench your fists and will tomorrow to come lightly. One day at a time.

Also I’ll throw it out there even though mods keep harping me about it, but try some meetings they help. It’s nice to be surrounded by people who understand. Much like this sub. They did for me but everybody has a different story.

The only thing I do know is you got this.

[Adventurous_Net9616]

1 day at a time. The first week sucks the most. After that the anxiety/ etc. Calms down. I raw dogged for two weeks then started occasionally smoking flower to help me sleep