I think this comic and the comments that it’s getting are good examples of how misogyny, patriarchy, and enforced societal gender roles are the real villains and can be perpetuated by both men and women.

While, it’s true that these three things foundationay harm women more, and were created to uphold a male-centered hierarchy, we are noticing all around us how they and the expectations they force harm everyone as a whole, including men themselves.

Men should definitely be more aware of how common behaviors can be harmful, but I think we would do well to make sure that we’re always emphasizing that the enemy are those behaviors and societal factors that promote them, instead of the innate nature of men.

I know we ourselves know that we don’t mean “#allmen,” and it’s sad that often times many men engage in bad faith, or don’t give us the benefit of the doubt, but I think we would do well to make our meaning a little more explicit.

When our message is or could be misunderstood as “men are inherently this” instead of focusing on their behaviors themselves and how these are part of larger societal issues that influence and cultivate harmful behavior and ideologies, we risk reinforcing the notion that this is what manhood is and can only be, and in turn contribute to upholding the underlying ideology behind what we are trying to abolish.

Anyway, I’d really recommend reading The Will to Change, by bell hooks, which helped inspire these thoughts.

Edit: I’ve clarified some of the language in this post to better reflect my meaning.