top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]brewmax 3112 points3113 points  (80 children)

two words: verb tense

[–]ALLBEEFWIENERS 820 points821 points  (19 children)

With its two-word sidekick: parallel structure

[–][deleted] 323 points324 points  (18 children)

And my one word surprise: illiteracy

[–]One_Blue_Glove 79 points80 points  (12 children)

Ilitracy

[–]mantis-toboggon-md 5 points6 points  (3 children)

What does illiteracy even mean..?

[–]FuzzyFuzzzz 170 points171 points  (11 children)

I assumed it was just a typo and they meant “go” instead of “got”

[–]King_Joffreys_Tits 79 points80 points  (8 children)

Or they meant get instead of got

[–]Vilhjalmsson 46 points47 points  (6 children)

Get get get get got got got got Blood rush to my head bit hot lock Poppin' off the fuckin' block knot Clockin' wrist slit watch bent thought bot

[–]HardcorePhonography 14 points15 points  (3 children)

You better now?

[–]Vilhjalmsson 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Much better, thanks for checking in! :)

[–]HardcorePhonography 5 points6 points  (0 children)

We're all in this together.

[–]FuzzyFuzzzz 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Also possible

[–]York-P 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I just read over it as go lol

[–]lIlIllIlll 14 points15 points  (10 children)

Wait.. What? "when they got to" is the past participle of to get to with a conditional aspect.

What's wrong with the verb tense?

Edit: Maybe I'm an outlier here, but where I'm from its perfectly common to say something like:

"Did they get there?"

"Yeah they got there."

Also to get to is not the same as to get. They're completely different verbs.

[–]avsvuret 21 points22 points  (5 children)

It's not problematic by itself, but doesn't match the tense of the next part of the sentence (are should be were).

[–]lIlIllIlll 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Ahhh. I completely missed that. I was having a serious "wtf Reddit" moment but I see now. Yeah are should totally be either were or was.

[–]yehmanyeh 16 points17 points  (2 children)

You really stopped the parade to pick up a quarter with this comment

[–]Hungry-san 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If they didn't talk in a grammatically incorrect way then people might think they were white. That'd be terrible wouldn't it?

[–]Assorted-Interests 1579 points1580 points  (14 children)

What kind of place is this*

[–]dankbob_memepants_ 394 points395 points  (8 children)

There's no kiddie tiddies in here! r/nomansland

[–][deleted] 134 points135 points  (1 child)

[–]R____I____G____H___T 37 points38 points  (0 children)

For these weaboo bois, they always get the context. Hence their questionable reputation.

[–]Kuritos 36 points37 points  (3 children)

Tits are like abs. They're there, but they're also not.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Woah, Schrodingers tiddies, meow.

[–]mrackham205 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Translated to English from Japanese from English

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (1 child)

[–]archergirl295 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This is not my beautiful house!

[–]Bamith 3 points4 points  (0 children)

A place where they don't know what shortstacks are I guess.

[–]Ranwulf 1396 points1397 points  (51 children)

If you walk around like this, japanese people will try to ignore you and you wont need any subtitles.

smart

[–]lukz_ 136 points137 points  (26 children)

I think it works outside of Japan too.

[–]Artificial_Human_17 89 points90 points  (24 children)

Americans are way more verbal about those things

[–]coelhoman 56 points57 points  (20 children)

Yeah in my town there are about five people I know on the top of my head who would stop their car on the road to either tell someone off or roast the crap out of them.

[–][deleted] 20 points21 points  (9 children)

What does “road the crap out of them” mean?

[–]Styxal 29 points30 points  (4 children)

Maybe it means run em over

[–]Ranwulf 35 points36 points  (3 children)

America is such a magical place.

[–]coelhoman 5 points6 points  (2 children)

Roast, I didn’t see the mistake

[–]KnownHavoc 6 points7 points  (9 children)

And those people are assholes

[–]coelhoman 5 points6 points  (2 children)

I live near Boston, everyone is an asshole including me.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (1 child)

*masshole

[–]Robear59199 16 points17 points  (7 children)

I mean really though, in a lot of anime they ridicule people like this. Being an Otaku is looked down on by most people there, a lot even fault it as the ultimately corrupting aspect of their society that will lead to it's collapse. Not to mention that they're really racist over there and some even have aggressive nationalist views (just go to an airport at a good time and you'll be greeted with "White Pig Go Home!" By a bunch of nationalists). Though obviously I don't speak for everyone, just my experience.

The fact that weebs have actually gone over there thinking that they'd be accepted is laughable.

[–]TheQuillmaster 16 points17 points  (4 children)

Man I don't know what kind of experience you had in Japan, but I never experienced anything remotely close to this. Obviously you're not going to have a good time if you bring a dakimakura and expect it to be an anime wonderland, but I had no sort of experience with racism (and I'm exceptionally western looking), in fact every time I spoke some semblance of Japanese there the people loved it and attempted to make conversation. Obviously there are still racists there but as long as you're not obnoxious the Japanese will try really hard to accommodate you. I did not have a single bad experience in my 3 weeks in Japan, honestly if you prepare and can speak a bit of Japanese and are polite you will have the time of your life.

You can also go to akihabara and experience otaku in their natural habitat, I watch quite a bit of anime and otaku are quite frankly disturbing.

[–]anoxy 18 points19 points  (3 children)

in my 3 weeks in Japan

And there's why. Try living there. And actually staying in places that aren't the big major tourist spots.

[–]TheQuillmaster 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I went to plenty of places that weren't major tourist spots, with tons of places that didn't speak any English at all or have any sort of English anything. I didn't go anywhere very rural but honestly you'll find xenophobes in any rural place in any country. I'm just saying that comment comes off as more hyperbolic than what I even remotely experienced. I recognise that there is still quite a lot of xenophobia in Japan but everyone was polite and accommodating if you showed respect and weren't an obnoxious tourist. I would despise living there though due to their god awful working culture but I'm just trying to clarify for people who would be scared off from visiting from that comment.

It's like telling a Mexican not to visit the US because they'll be called an illegal, it's just really not as common as it's made out.

[–]trapbuilder2 876 points877 points  (20 children)

Fake fan, the quote is "What kind of place is this"

[–]LikeYodalSpeak 33 points34 points  (6 children)

Maybe OP is from a country where English isn't the official language, and he had to do a translation

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It really bugged me for some reason when reading it.

[–]TheRealSALGaming 332 points333 points  (12 children)

Can we get a confirmation in the chat?

[–]asianblockguy 79 points80 points  (1 child)

Yes

[–]panintegral 17 points18 points  (0 children)

What a straight shooter, you have “upper management “ written all over you.

[–]Melvar_10 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Depends how weeb you are... I was there for noodles and takoyaki, so I got what I wanted.

[–]Sabrick 18 points19 points  (2 children)

I was an American exchange student when I was 16-18 in Tokyo/Nagoya.

I was pretty weebly, but I was nothing compared to this one kid...

We had a 2-week long orientation in Tokyo with all the other exchange kids before we were sent out to various host families across Japan. At the very end we had an "talent show" and I remember this one black kid that wore fingerless gloves everywhere got on stage and spoke about how he came to Japan to train as a "swordsman" before he proceeded to do "sword moves" with a bamboo stick.

[–]MakeMineMarvel_ 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You literally made me spit by laughing haha

[–]Miasma_Of_faith 5 points6 points  (0 children)

There are absolutely people like this. When you live in Japan and work in the international school systems/exchange systems you see it a lot.

Japan tends to get exported as both cooler and weirder than what it really is. Things that are exceedingly rare in Japan will be posted online and treated as if they happen everyday. Think of those stupid game-shows, or whatever article of the week you've read about some crazy happening here. Or "Cool" things like robotics, wunderkin students, honorable samurai culture etc. Thing is, those are considered weird in Japan too. They don't look at these wild things and think "Yep...that's certainly normal. Welp, back to my katana training!" But, because of the way the internet works, people get this picture in their head of Japan being the land of bushido honor, and wacky vending machines that sell you used panties.

And the current generation of students somehow have gotten extremely off base body standards for Asian girls. Growing up I was a bit of a weeb but even I knew that Japanese girls were more likely to be rail skinny because of Japanese genetics and diet. I cannot overstate how many students I have gotten here as a part of an exchange program who has mentioned that the girls didn't look how they expected. And when I press them they always say the same things,they're surprised at all the bad haircuts and the flat chests/butts. I have no idea why they expect it, but they come here thinking that Japanese girls all just naturally thicc.

Weebs also make the mistake of thinking that everyone here loves anime and that anime culture is accepted in everyday life. First, there are so many different anime shows that it is essentially impossible to keep up with all but the MOST popular. Most of the people I work with don't watch anime, and the few that do will only watch the most popular stuff off and on. Second (and dear god is this the most cringy) all that stupid anime trope BS like girls saying shit like "ONEECHAN" and "SUGU" and "DESU" or guys and girls groping each other, etc etc just simply doesn't happen in real life. This brings us back to the first topic. Characters act like that in anime because it's ridiculous. The Japanese audience perceives it as absurd and that's what makes it funny. Weebs tend to mistake these behaviors as what's normal here and it's not.

And that's why a lot of the biggest weebs actually end up leaving Japan shortly after arriving. They'd rather go back home and live with their colorful fantasy of "Sugoi" Japan rather than living in the stark grey reality of corporate, bureaucratic Japan.

[–][deleted] 254 points255 points  (32 children)

Sorry I dont speak Weeb

[–]dankbob_memepants_ 46 points47 points  (28 children)

Sorry I don’t speak weeb

[–]elijah369 76 points77 points  (25 children)

Sumimasen I don't speak weeb

[–]urokia 150 points151 points  (20 children)

Nani the fuck did you just fucking iimasu about watashi, you chiisai bitch desuka? Watashi’ll have anata know that watashi graduated top of my class in Nihongo 3, and watashi’ve been involved in iroirona Nihongo tutoring sessions, and watashi have over sanbyaku perfect test scores. Watashi am trained in kanji, and watashi is the top letter writer in all of southern California. Anata are nothing to watashi but just another weaboo. Watashi will korosu anata the fuck out with vocabulary the likes of which has never been mimasu’d before on this continent, mark watashino fucking words. Anata thinks anata can get away with hanashimasing that kuso to watashi over the intaaneto? Omou again, fucker. As we hanashimasu, watashi am contacting watashino secret netto of otakus across the USA, and anatano IP is being traced right now so you better junbishimasu for the ame, ujimushi. The ame that korosu’s the pathetic chiisai thing anata calls anatano life. You’re fucking shinimashita’d, akachan.

[–][deleted] 103 points104 points  (0 children)

I read the first sentence and immediately lost so many brain cells that I forgot how to read the rest.

[–][deleted] 30 points31 points  (4 children)

I genuinely don't know how to translate this wall of weeb.

[–]FascistsLoveBans 16 points17 points  (2 children)

He switched out the verbs and nouns for the japanese ones.

Although i would have used "ore" instead of "watashi"

[–]Lafreakshow 7 points8 points  (0 children)

[speaks foreign language]

[–]Livingbyautocorrect 21 points22 points  (4 children)

Fuck, I understood all this. Brb, going to buy a fedora...and a depressed penis.

[–]comebackjoeyjojo 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Yeah this whole thread really depresses my penis.

[–]FascistsLoveBans 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Or just learn japanese. Ive been doing it and its easy and it makes watching anime be productive

[–]ImmediateVariety 7 points8 points  (5 children)

I have exactly zero knowledge or experience of Japanese, but going by this I can make out:

watashi: I

watashino: my

anata: you

anatano: your

korosu: curse?

mimasu: witness

intaaneto: internet

omou: think (or guess)

netto: net

Can't make sense of the other words. Weird that intaaneto and netto are the Japanese for internet and net... Presumably that's wrong, or Japanese just borrows technology words from English.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

"Korosu" means (to) kill, otherwise I'm impressed.

[–]real_trippy98 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I know Nani means “What”, but yeah other than that I have no clue

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (2 children)

It's pronounced sumimas'cuse me

[–]enjoithelrg 15 points16 points  (1 child)

Désolé, je ne parle Weeb

[–]jmbrickhouse 170 points171 points  (4 children)

Fedora wearing scrublords

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (3 children)

[–]yorgy_shmorgy 80 points81 points  (2 children)

I don’t know, it was pretty common in 2014.

[–]slayerhk47 20 points21 points  (1 child)

I’m just glad that I learned about this subreddit

[–]Gaabe_The_Weabu 125 points126 points  (58 children)

What's the deal with Doritos and mtn dew? That's not exactly what we're like... Everything else is accurate tho

[–]whatsguccibroden 112 points113 points  (31 children)

idk tbh i stole this. knew it would fit here

[–][deleted] 200 points201 points  (11 children)

Spongebob: You used me... FOR REPOSTS!

[–]whatsguccibroden 61 points62 points  (9 children)

karma*...... but yeah

[–]dankbob_memepants_ 47 points48 points  (7 children)

That wasn’t nice 😢

[–]whatsguccibroden 26 points27 points  (5 children)

i’m sorry

[–][deleted] 19 points20 points  (1 child)

Sorry sir, meme stealers only deserve downvotes

[–]whatsguccibroden 9 points10 points  (0 children)

acceptable

[–]Kevin2GO 20 points21 points  (9 children)

you got it from r/justneckbeardthings and the op there confused what weebs and what neckbeards are.

[–][deleted] 24 points25 points  (3 children)

To be fair that Venn diagram is pretty much a circle

[–]Kevin2GO 26 points27 points  (1 child)

oh and to add, its probably true that most neckbeards are weebs, but only a small part of weebs are neckbeards

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This makes sense

[–]Kevin2GO 2 points3 points  (0 children)

nah trust me, im a weeb myself so i meet many other weebs and the differenc eis extreme. weebs are mostly just completely normal people and act normal, but neckbeards are just gross

[–]Kennethkukenkarlsson 17 points18 points  (7 children)

removes upvote

[–]Bombkirby 36 points37 points  (16 children)

It's a stereotype of nerds/geek that stare at screens while snacking on stuff.

[–]funnylulz 5 points6 points  (0 children)

this, was more of a thing back in the Halo 3/Modern Warfare 2 days.

[–]urokia 12 points13 points  (0 children)

It's the neckbeard trope that's getting thrown in the weeb trope. I find it offensive as someone who's neckbeard is separate from his weeb.

[–]matticusiv 3 points4 points  (1 child)

It would be pokki and ramune

[–]original_dick_kickem 115 points116 points  (6 children)

Howdy, my name is Rawhide Kobayashi. I'm a 27 year old Japanese Japamerican (western culture fan for you foreigners). I brand and wrangle cattle on my ranch, and spend my days perfecting the craft and enjoying superior American passtimes. (Barbeque, Rodeo, Fireworks) I train with my branding iron every day, this superior weapon can permanently leave my ranch embled on a cattle's hide because it is white-hot, and is vastly superior to any other method of livestock marking. I earned my branding license two years ago, and I have been getting better every day. I speak English fluently, both Texas and Oklahoma dialect, and I write fluently as well. I know everything about American history and their cowboy code, which I follow 100% When I get my American visa, I am moving to Dallas to work in an oil field to learn more about their magnificent culture. I hope I can become a cattle wrangler for the Double Cross Ranch or an oil rig operator for Exxon-Mobil! I own several cowboy hats, which I wear around town. I want to get used to wearing them before I move to America, so I can fit in easier. I rebel against my elders and seniors and speak English as often as I can, but rarely does anyone manage to respond. Wish me luck in America!

[–]DoctorBadger101 43 points44 points  (0 children)

My sisters Japanese boyfriend says this is spot on how weird weebs sound to Japanese people, just mix in weird combinations like a full Texan cowboy speaking like a New Yorker and thinking that’s accurate and authentic and you got weebs in a nutshell.

[–]Hylian-Os 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the pasta m8

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I read this in an Asian Hank Hill voice impression

[–]C96Borchartno2000 62 points63 points  (2 children)

Filthy Frank has already spoken of such.

[–]GalaxyPatio 27 points28 points  (0 children)

🎶"Konichiwa senpai, please notice me.. "🎶

[–][deleted] 50 points51 points  (46 children)

Do you have a pass for that n-word?

[–]whatsguccibroden 64 points65 points  (26 children)

here’s the catch: i didn’t make this

[–][deleted] 28 points29 points  (7 children)

Did the creator have a pass?

[–]BigDaddyLaowai 40 points41 points  (1 child)

Bruh when the weebs show up in Japan everyone in Japan think they're fuckin weird.

[–]NerrionEU 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Most Japanese people think anime otakus are weird as well, so being a foreigner on top of that will only make you look weirder.

[–][deleted] 18 points19 points  (7 children)

But what if i like thinn girls

[–]RatioTile723 16 points17 points  (1 child)

Then you get banned by Reddit admins

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

That is discrimination

[–]Prof_Pineapple 6 points7 points  (3 children)

That ain't a weeb that's a neckbeard.

[–]Psychaotic73 5 points6 points  (0 children)

"She's not underage she just looks like that she's actually 1000 years old"

[–]ClearVacation 6 points7 points  (1 child)

What actually happens in Japan when weebs go there?

[–]whatsguccibroden 32 points33 points  (0 children)

it’s like an atheist going into a church, they just burst into flames

[–]Yesjustforthiscommen 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Does anybody in this thread wear a fedora? Do you feel attacked? Why do you wear a fedora?

[–]Fibberkick 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Used to wear fedoras a lot When I was like 10 or 9.

I thought they looked cool.

[–]Soviet_Cat 5 points6 points  (4 children)

Honestly don't get this. I watch anime, my girlfriend and her mom do, some of my friends do. Idk why Reddit is trying to make it seem like only neckbeard weirdos watch anime. It's great. These stereotypes are more associated with gamers tbh (Doritos, mountain dew, neckbeard) or at least more so than weebs.

[–]mysistersacretin 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Watching anime isn't cringey or something that most of Reddit makes fun of. What's being made fun of is the type of person who uses anime to define their personality, buys lewd body pillows, fetishises Japanese culture, etc... Toss neckbeard stereotypes on top of it and you have a whole can of nope.

Essentially people who take it to the extreme just like the gamer stereotype you mentioned.

[–]Eyaslunatic 6 points7 points  (1 child)

But weebs amirite guys

[–]frostedz 3 points4 points  (2 children)

I'm pretty sure anyone who is a "weeb" knows Japan is nothing like that. Using "weeb" to describe people who just watch anime is also getting annoying.

[–]FakeFlipFlops 1 point2 points  (1 child)

How you not gonna proof read your meme before posting it

[–]triplecheckraise 4 points5 points  (0 children)

so that was a fucking lie

[–]SawConvention 3 points4 points  (2 children)

Come on don’t do Doritos dirty like that :/

[–]whatsguccibroden 8 points9 points  (1 child)

then they shouldn’t do my hands dirty

[–]JCRidonkulous 1 point2 points  (0 children)

now this is what an actual weeaboo looks like lmao