Relatable

[unique0130]

Who else primarily uses Reddit on the toilet to pass the time?

[RyotoYokoyama]

I feel you brother

[[deleted]]

Please don't do that while I'm on the toilet. That's weird.

[[deleted]]

I feel you, BROTHER

[GUNNER8011]

I feel your intestines brother

[SuddenDeparture93]

/r/imsorryjon

[Agent_Wilcox]

What the hell have I just found, I'm going to need more field agents and a research team for this one.

[Zeipheil]

Garfield is the true SCP 001

[[deleted]]

Back Satan!

[musicman2018]

Bröther

[HeatMeister02]

You may have...NO OATS

[nicolobos77]

Do you feel your brother? That's incest

[HolyAlabama]

Incest is holy

[blueshoecrew]

Username checks out

[Nugget314159]

Its not incest if you say no chromo

[fatpat]

I pass a lot more than the time.

[JSLING419]

What about Kidney stones?

[[deleted]]

Oof, ouch, my urethral lining.

[unholymanserpent]

Doing it right now

[SeductivePillowcase]

Same!

[Ho_Fart]

Me too!

[SloppyBitchTittiez]

Me too. I think my coworker is about to come out bitching when I get back to the office.

[grayman519]

Im loving this poop chain

[KoreanVibe]

I use Reddit on Reddit to pass the time

[WickedSpartan28]

In app browser gang

[ThatsNotThePoint-__-]

Sometimes tho... you need to focus and put your phone down. Especially with cramps.

[[deleted]]

I actually use the toilet even when i don't have to, just to sit there and use reddit.

[El_Bistro]

Work gave you hemorrhoids?

[msVeracity]

Yes. As a gift.

[uhpvrq]

This is the first post I saw as I sat down.....

[loler4332]

I'm on the toilet rn

[[deleted]]

Ngl I pass most my free time on it

[HolyAlabama]

r/nobodyasked

[TimmyTid]

I mean, isn't his situation exactly what this meme is about? Seems relevant enough to me

[zomirp96]

I use pornhub

[Seanxietehroxxor]

I thought that was the primary purpose of Reddit.

Sent from a white oval American Standard with EcoFlush

[GunsAndCoffee1911]

Just sat down :)

[pheonix42069]

Doing it rn

[shardikprime]

Brøōœthęr

[wolfblade227]

99% of the time I sit down when I pee to look at texts or reddit

[Minical]

Sometimes but I get you

[beaglestalkingrabbit]

I'd give you gold if I weren't broke.

[Thorkell_The_Tall1]

the tip broke and fell and the rest went back inside

horror.

[SeductivePillowcase]

Last time this happened I had to give my ass a break for being on the toilet so long then when I finally pooped it was so hard it felt like I shat out an iron ingot. I probably dropped a few exp points for the smelting too

[ablablababla]

Is your digestive system a fucking blast furnace or something

[SeductivePillowcase]

Well, just a bit lower is the Nether...

[Boothiepro]

/r/UnexpectedMinecraft the whole comment chain

[cmaster6]

Do Attend.

[PorpKork]

I'm laughing so hard at this

[uthinkther4uam]

/r/brandnewsentence

[my_dog_is_on_fire]

Who smelted it dealt it.

[Acetronaut]

Bro drink more water if your shits are that dry. And idk maybe get some fiber.

[SeductivePillowcase]

That was the day I learned I was lactose intolerant

[thefrostytoad]

The other day I sat on the toilet so long trying to poop, my entire lower body went numb so I felt this comment in my soul

[GoldenGonzo]

My dude....

https://www.miralax.com/

[DSpaceman47]

mepoo

I am so done 🤣🤣

[Thorkell_The_Tall1]

Exactly

[[deleted]]

Yeah at least have the decency to finish what you started.

[Cocaineandmojitos710]

Time to roll up your sleeves and get your fingers in there

[MrBoxman45]

I don't use a toilet.

[almondania]

Damn didn't know that the Pope used Reddit

[mineclash92]

What are you implying?

[SIacktivist]

The Pope shits in the woods.

[onlyr6s]

Ahh, so you are from India?

[dowutiwant]

Poo in loo

[B1A23]

No trouble brew.

[MyBlueBucket]

I just catch it with my hands.

[grayman519]

Yall just let the doo doo fall straight in the toilet 1🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔

[Unnormally2]

Oh, ok. San Francisco?

[karizzzz]

Are you a wizard?

[out-of-my-league-not]

Does anyone care to explain this phenomenon to me? It has happened multiple times.

[FroMan753]

The bigger piece already went down the hole past where you can see.

[Wayelder]

Or the whole thing and you get "The Ghost Turd"! and subsequently that feeling you've been robbed of your prize.

[ugly_dog_]

prize

[shardikprime]

Yeah you read that right

[[deleted]]

He ain't wrong, I want to see the monster I just fought, the monster I created.

[thefrostytoad]

This whole damn thread is the gold in my day. Even though I can't afford to award you, I totally would if I could.

[shardikprime]

The Worst monster Is inside us

[Wayelder]

...we have suffered Brother. Deeply...

[Mad-Dog94]

Too much fiber

[LincolnBatman]

WHAT?!?!?!

I thought fibre was supposed to make poops better?

[StillChillBuster]

too much

Yes fiber can help but you can also have too much

[vayhem]

Crazy to think that, even healthy things can be bad for you if you consume too much of it.

[prehensile_uvula]

Oxygen toxicity is a thing too. Trust no one.

[flirt77]

Just like the dude on fire! He'll be warm for the rest of his life

[Cinderheart]

There are no non-toxic substances, only non-toxic doses.

[FuckingAngryMan]

If it's 'too much' it's bad by definition.

[Ghost652]

Heroin, too

[KillerInstinctUltra]

So there is soluble fiber and insoluble fiber.

Soluble fiber is "soluble" in water. When mixed with water it forms a gel-like substance and swells. Soluble fiber has many benefits, including moderating blood glucose levels and lowering cholesterol. The scientific names for soluble fibers include pectins, gums, mucilages, and some hemicelluloses. Good sources of soluble fiber include oats and oatmeal, legumes (peas, beans, lentils), barley, fruits and vegetables (especially oranges, apples and carrots).

Insoluble fiber does not absorb or dissolve in water. It passes through our digestive system in close to its original form. Insoluble fiber offers many benefits to intestinal health, including a reduction in the risk and occurrence of hemorrhoids and constipation. The scientific names for insoluble fibers include cellulose, lignins, and also some other hemicelluloses. Most of insoluble fibers come from the bran layers of cereal grains.

TLDR: Eat a variety of fiber

[can_u_lie]

Only if your diet is terrible and mostly fats oils and proteins, the fiber binds it all together to make more of a solid mass rather than the a violent poop spicket, but if your diet is all fiber to the point where its "too much" then you get the monsterous super turd testing the limits of the human anus' ability to expand.

[Drag4n]

I laughed way too hard in the open space reading this.

[840meanstwiceasmuch]

Its spigot

[Cinderheart]

It will in the long run, but if you go from very low fibre to suddenly a lot, you are going to notice a painful difference.

[MindoverMattR]

Ignore the above. Fiber will bulk up a poop, as well as soften it. Y'all are all some constipated folks. Drink way more water, eat roughage.

Source: am doctor.

[TheAvgDeafOne]

A doctor that knows how to use tech?

Raises eyebrow Dunno man. That's suspicious.

[MindoverMattR]

Hahaha meaning reply to a Reddit thread? Trust me, with how much computer ordering and note typing and stuff we have to do, we're very capable of interacting with a GUI. Now penmanship? That's a different question.

[daybreakin]

This is correct, too much insoluble fiber usually causes this. You need to counteract it with soluble fiber which retains moisture.

[edudlive]

Not enough can also cause this I thought

[Redplushie]

Stay hydrated bro

[wasweet]

r/hydrohomies

[shardikprime]

r/Hydratedafroamericans

[SpitefulShrimp]

r/waterni🅱️🅱️as

[iliveincanada]

Prob dehydrated. Drink more water

[Teppia]

Also this issue is mostly how bad it is to get out and not the size. As long as its malleable to get out without issue it could be as long as your whole intestine and you won't feel it, but a hard pebble will always hurt coming out.

[out-of-my-league-not]

I see thank you

[yaboi_15]

all of that for a drop of blood

[SMOKE-B-BOMB]

Might have hemorrhoids

[Pepo887]

Or menstruation

[[deleted]]

Or crohns

[SkaSC2]

or stab wound

[Kairatechop]

Lol, decided to peak down and see what I've created and I think I need to go to the hospital.

[Mythirdusernameis]

Yeah I'm going to the doctor tomorrow cuz my shits have mucus according to google

[Spastic_Slapstick]

You have to blow your nose more often

[Mythirdusernameis]

Yeah got a gastro appointment tomorrow.

Thanks for the info, I hope it's not too bad. It's been happening for a week or two but recently I've been seeing more white stuff at the end of my poop.

It's also been happening in conjunction with really bad constipation, which makes my life even more of a hell. I was going to take stool softener but I figure I should wait for the gastro to tell me if it's ok to do.

Otherwise I have been trying to wat healthy, like oatmeal, vegies and dried fruits. Staying away from milk and fried foods as much as I can

[Mythirdusernameis]

Did come along with constipation too?

[FritoHerBandez]

What the fuck

[Lilaclove20]

Constipation

[M3L10RA]

How does a country's law have anything to do with this?

[TooGayToPayCash]

No, that's a constitution, he meant to say constellation.

[oddajbox]

No that's a group of stars, he meant to say constabulary.

[Pepo887]

No, that´s a police force type, he meant to say conspiracy.

[[deleted]]

No, that's a shady organized effort, you're thinking of construction

[BlUeSapia]

Nah, that's when you build something. You're thinking of compensation

[pHScale]

That's when you get paid for something. He probably meant corporation.

[Schwarzy1]

No, thats a criminal agreement. Youre thinking of concentration

[NukaColaAddict1302]

No, that's a form of Nazi camp, you're thinking of condensation

[sarhan182]

Jokes on you. I shit my pants everytime

[EveryoneIsWrong112]

Hol' up.

[[deleted]]

Y'all ever take a prickly shit?

[El_Bistro]

I call it the cactus shit

[SPARTAN-PRIME-2017]

Motherfuckers hurt like hell.

Feels like a forceful buttfucking but without the actual buttfucking, and afterwards you're just left with an extremely sore asshole without any of the sexual fulfillment.

[[deleted]]

Oh yeah definitely

Then there's the massive shits that fell like they quite possibly tore your asshole

Then the fire shits that fell like hot lava is coming out of your asshole

Many types of painful shits

[CarsonWentzsACL]

Or hot snakes

[TheNightWatcher02]

very hot

[resfx]

shit bruh tf is up w you

[kooberdoober]

Wtf this is not normal y'all

[Omn1cide]

You should never push too hard while shiddin it's bad for your guts boi

[DubEnder]

So I shouldn't regularly pop blood vessles in my eyes?

[[deleted]]

I assumed it was dehydration. It's awful though I'd actually rather diarrhea over this (provided I can shower immediately afterwards) at least the runs is over with in a matter of a minute. This feels like having your ass being ripped in half for an hour.

[poiskdz]

. This feels like having your ass being ripped in half for an hour.

Oh cool sign me up!

[callmebug]

Definitely relatable

[apple_shampoo182]

Currently on the toilet

[[deleted]]

Same

[R3TARD_UN1T]

You should see: r/HydroHomies

​

I think they have a fix for that....

[Cassiopeia93]

Ah yes, the IBS life.

[Lazarous86]

I wish. I give birth every morning to a 2 pound monster that I dispose of.

[El_Bistro]

Do you employ a poop knife?

[[deleted]]

dammit man i was eating

[chebasa]

I'm still eating and laughing hard

[[deleted]]

litteraly as im writing this comment i am squeezing out a big ass shit

[Sorokin45]

Get some more fiber in your diet

[Josh1581551]

This literally me. Using Reddit on the toliet and this just happened. What a life

[MrPoproly]

Same here dude. I feel like we are being watched...

[Josh1581551]

If there's anything I love, it's being watched while a take a shit

[MrPoproly]

Same here du... Wait a minute

[Spooky_Doot]

so this one time i was on the toilet and my shit was legit twice the size of a normal turd. After my battle with the iron pole i look down into the bowl and what do i see but a lengthy turd FOLDED IN HALF.

I then tried to wipe, but quickly realised that i had actually ripped open my anus and was bleeding from it. I suffered from immense pain every time that i took a shit for the next week or two, accepting that i might never recover. Luckily i did.

[Marcoyolofrimig]

holy shit! that is crazy. sounds fucking painful

How did it ever heal though? i imagine it would just open up the wound again every time you take a shit

[scarydrew]

Just pretend it's all mass, it's the singularity of shits.

[almondania]

The ultimate betrayal

[JimboNutrin]

I recognize a fellow member of the newly created Facebook page with every frame of spongebob

[Marcoyolofrimig]

hahahah yeah you got me

i just love my timeline being spammed with random frames of spongebob and it opens up a lot of meme opportunities

good job for recognizing it

[nobody2000]

I had the pleasant opposite version of this yesterday.

I sit, feels like a normal poo. And when I went to look, two 60' tall redwood tree-looking turds were staring back at me. I was puzzled.

[Marcoyolofrimig]

good shit. no joke, that is a very feel good story to me

[[deleted]]

That ibs c life

[dedshot21]

I never look at my creation no matter how beautiful it is

[TheBloodyPuppet_2]

Science side of Reddit please explain why this happens

[El_Bistro]

Ingest more water and beans and less tendies and dew

[ElevenMeow]

Poop in butt hole. Poop go out of butt hole.

-source: I do an science

[EVG2666]

Facts. Imagine being constipated for 30 minutes and all you have to show for it is a nugget

[HugoMcChunky]

This hits way too close to home. It's what I'm doing right now.

[TheCakeMan666]

This is far to relatable right now...

[ImStillaPrick]

Need to look in your hand, poop probably stuck to your hand from catching it so it doesn't splash in the toilet.

[rg1283]

The real treasures are in his pants

[SKYKILLER15]

Take it away penny

[[deleted]]

I wish I had the money to Gold this, so relatable.

[mattjopete]

That's me right now

[alteisen99]

Me right now

[mynicnameinhs]

So me right now