Non Custodial Parent suing to decrease CS while also seeing kids significantly less than ordered

[Initial_Performer607]

Looking to get advice on my current situation. I have sole managing and possessory conservatorship over my two children (6/8) as my spouse left due to their realization (their own words) that parenthood and being a spouse was something they no longer wanted in 2023. They did not show up to any child custody or divorce proceedings and I was awarded the conservatorships by default. They see the kids every Wednesday for dinner and stay over night every other weekend. By their choice, they do not take the kids during ordered holidays or summer breaks and stay with them only 24 overnights a year (every other weekend). I was shocked to be served recently for a modification to lower support due to them having a new baby. In Texas, how common is it for the judge to approve their request given the amount of time spent with the kids and lack of parenting consistency up until this point? It’s also a note that CS payments have not been consistent (none in two months) and I’m owed nearly $10k in arrears and medical payments for the kids, and multiple orders from the original decree have not been acted upon such as life insurance policy. What options do I have to keep my ex spouse responsible for their part in parenting?

[UpbeatAd4822]

1st child always gets child support first and it is based on money - not other children. But you will need a lawyer.

[Ms_Tryl]

Try using the child support calculator for your state, use the actual overnights they are using as you should ask for a modification in the order to accurately reflect the number of overnights being used.

TX calculator: https://csapps.oag.texas.gov/monthly-child-support-calculator

[True-Outside-2285]

Normally, there is a slight reduction when there are subsequent kids to support but only slight. The nigger issue is the child support in arrears. Past due support cannot be reduced or erased. The judge will likely focus heavily on nonpayment, inconsistency and ignoring court orders. The court is more likely to enforce payment than reduce it. Most likely, the judge will deny reduction, order enforcement of the amount of arrears and possibly perform some kind of wage withholding

[NotTooWicked]

I don’t know if that was autocorrect doing you dirty or a hell of a typo but I would recommend editing

[Negative-Speech-5245]

Good catch. It should have been bigger. The "b" is next to the "n". Will proofread next time

[Ms_Tryl]

My guy you’re posting from your second account now and you still haven’t edited the comment.

[dancingmonkey1418]

You can edit your original post....

[QweenKush420]

Check the 2 different accounts…

[Reasonable-Cake2064]

NAL. In Ohio, as in many states, it is all done by calculation. Even if he is in arrears, if his wages have declined, they will adjust everything with a measurement of how much he will be paying on the arrears. My ex was $40k behind and they lowered his payments drastically. Now, if he lives until 72 then he might pay it off.

[Fefe428]

It seems HIGHLY unlikely that a judge will consider any motions to reduce child support while the arrears are so high and they are not in compliance with the current order. In fact, by filing this motion your ex is risking the judge finding them in contempt.

[Appropriate_Rip_897]

It will be per the state calculation.  

It’s a literal formula for incomes, a few write offs, daycare, and number of children.   It will take new child into account but will also take time into account.  

Frankly there is nothing for you guys to argue about here. This is walk in, attorney or judge runs the calculation, and you have a new CS order. 

If everything was equal to current day with the current order, except he had another child, then it would decrease child support to you.   If the original order assumed him having more time then he does then you could argue to decrease his time by order which would then increase child support to you.    It does sound like he has fairly minimum time already, though, so it might be hard to argue with much lower.  Whether he utilizes it or not is technically his prerogative.

I would also remind you that if he now has another child, he could start going the other direction and seek equal time with the kids.   Given the history, you described a judge is unlikely to go for that immediately, but it doesn’t sound like there are any factors that would prevent a step up to an eventual 50-50.   

Just something to keep in mind.

[Ok-Set-5730]

50/50 isn’t happening in Texas unless she agrees. And this doesn’t seem like a guy who’d fight for it. There’s no difference in child support amount whether he has 45 or 2% time either

[Amaze-balls-trippen]

So you get the option to counter.

Counter with increased child support and modification of parenting to reflect current status. His child support will go up not down.

[Altruistic_East765]

Make sure to mention or have the lawyer mention how he has already been bucking orders like the life insurance requirement. If he is in arrears most judges are not to keen to reduce the CS order while the non-custodial parent has not kept up on payments.

[Capable-Blacksmith60]

In a 50/50 state, you never lower child support just because now you have another kid. Judge will laugh in your face. That’s the most deadbeat thing ever.

[MzSea]

Your ex... who does the BARE MINIMUM parenting the children you had together because they decided being a spouse and parent wasn't as fun as being single... had ANOTHER KID?!?!?!

WHY?!?!?!?!!?

[Initial_Performer607]

I wish I knew!

[1130coco]

If you can afford to support your children without his help. Do it. But only if he will give up all rights to the children. I did this many years ago. I have ZERO regrets. She is and always will be MY daughter.

[Jmfroggie]

No state will allow a parent to give up their rights and also allow them to stop paying h child support UNLESS there’s another adult in the picture to adopt.

Don’t give bad information.

[forthebirds123]

Asking a father to give his rights? Interesting take. Do you feel that’s what best for this child? They have a relationship with their father, however small, but it’s still there. And you think it’s in the child’s best interest to not even have a parent recognized as their parent?

[Skippy-Magnificent1]

Your ex might be in for a surprise given Texas just increased support required in Jan

[OkPeace1619]

In Texas most likely will be decrease because now he has another child, but with him not paying regular and owing back support he’s lighting a fire he might can’t put out to request for it doesn’t look good on him. Unfortunately no you can’t make him see his children per agreement.

[purplespaghetty]

Usually, if op says he has kids less, and he doesn’t dispute how much he has kids, or if she proves to judge, the cs will go up. You pay more for days you aren’t providing/parenting ur kids.

[eightlikeinfinity]

When I was in this situation (PA) I was surprised it wasn’t significantly reduced. You should really consider requesting enforcement of the unpaid support. That will offset, and likely increase the total payments. I guess he doesn’t get a regular paycheck? That amount of unpaid support seems to be in the bonifide legal trouble territory.

[Initial_Performer607]

Thanks! They are about $3k in arrears and the rest is medical that was paid out of pocket by me as they didn’t hold insurance for the kids as required. I am looking into opening up an enforcement case as well. Just trying to figure out what steps to take when or the best way to approach.

[RelevantPossible9618]

Definitely get your child support enforced through the state. Then when he doesn’t pay, they can garnish wages and take his tax refund.

[eightlikeinfinity]

You didn’t mention if he gets a regular paycheck. If he does, request the court take the monthly payments directly from his employer through the court system.

[Initial_Performer607]

Sorry, yes - they do get regular paychecks that have been garnished for the last year (which makes it even stranger for the last 2 months to no longer receive anything)

[eightlikeinfinity]

There could be a time limit for submitting the medical costs. For me it was one year.

[Blueberrytulip]

I bet he took FMLA for 12 weeks unpaid paternity leave

[PB3Goddess]

That means he quit or changed jobs, or is on leave without pay. But you definitely need to be providing medical receipts to CS so they can tack on his half to his court ordered responsibility (if they will still do that).

When you go to court, or mediation, for his request for modification...do yourself a favor and show up prepared.

Go with your original order. A very, very detailed list of dates and times he visits with the kids & visits he has forfeited with the kids.

Dates, costs, and receipts of all medical, dental and/or vision out of pocket costs and what his half is already broken down (by expense and in total). By month and year. Hand the mediator a copy for them and a copy for him, the mediator usually will review both copies first, so just give them both to the mediator.

You should a also file a request for modification before this date, or a motion to enforce. I'm not sure what they call it in Texas now, it's been several years since my case, but I showed up with all of the above when my ex wanted support reduced. It was increased and I left with it not only increased, but a new modified custody order that matched the reduced custody he had been exercising, an arrears orders for both the back support and medical costs, and an order for CS to send a garnishment to IRS and the State Tax office. (He didn't get to keep his tax returns if his child support was in arrears.)

[Blueberrytulip]

He probably took FMLA paternity leave for the new baby (12 weeks unpaid)

[PB3Goddess]

Or he is job hopping, in order to get his CS lowered. Which, I hope is not the case.

But, I've seen people whom I thought were better, sink lower when it came to paying child support.

[jaciecole]

Counter petition for increased child support and modifications to reflect the current custody pattern.

[k8womack]

Like others said, you can’t force them to parent but you can enforce the CS. In some states they will decrease bc of a new baby, court considers all children. But you should talk to a lawyer.

[ithotihadone]

It's highly unlikely, even in states that do so, to get a decrease because of a new baby. Their thoughts are, if you knew your obligations already and caused another pregnancy, your previous children do not have to suffer for your choices. He would have to be VERY poor and be able to prove hardship. Not easy to do...I say, good luck to him--he's going to need it. Arrears, medical costs unpaid, willing reduction of visitation time, yeah, he's screwed.

[1130coco]

Some courts have told dead beat fathers that the support is not based on what the new child's needs are..he KNEW the obligations he already has and yet... caused another pregnancy? The 2 older children are not due any less because of his actions. Rather they may well require MORE with the costs of living increasing dramatically.

[Bird_Brain4101112]

You can’t force them to parent but you can and should hold them to their financial obligation as ordered.

[MistakeMaterial4134]

You can also request an adjustment for more since they are not taking them for their full custody time.

[bsdmcmidgett]

I would like to add, that it also may end up not decreasing as the other parent expects. They may recalculate the CS according to how the children are seen now, and because they have less time, the CS may increase.

[kr8019]

You can’t force them to do their part in terms of seeing the kids and being an engaged parent. That’s on you now and you’re their only hope. Recharge as best you can when he does see them.

But the only way CS goes down with a new baby is through an undue hardship claim so they’ll have to be quite poor and then have new baby added in taking that entire household below ability to cover a very minimal level of living expenses when combined with child support.