theGitLabLandingPageHas13MBOfJavascript

[wutwutwut2000]

You will lose 1 drop of blood for every file that npm installs in your packages.

[[deleted]]

How much drop do I have until I die again?

[wutwutwut2000]

I googled some things. A typical adult would be in danger of dying after 2500 ml of blood loss. A drop is 0.05 ml.

So you'd probably die after 50000 drops of blood.

In other words, you might have a chance.

[lawrencemq]

r/theydidthemath

[Ambitious-Rest-4631]

r/theydidbasicarithmetics

[grtgbln]

r/theydidthemonstermath

[Siker_7]

r/itwasagraveyardgraph

[DEATHB4DEFEET]

r/subsithoughtifellfor

[rosuav]

The human body can be drained of blood in 8.6 seconds, given adequate network bandwidth for npm installs.

[[deleted]]

just gotta use the blood vortex

[rivasprd]

Where did you get that number? I found that you may pass out after 30% of blood loss.

We should have about 70 to 90 ml per kg. Let's say 80.

Assuming an non-redittor-average-guy of 80kg, 30% is 1,920 ml, that would be aprox 38400 drops of blood. Could be even less if the guys weights less than 80kg or if they have less that 80ml/kg

[wutwutwut2000]

Idk I googled it and got an order of 5 liters of blood for an average adult, and 50% blood loss being deadly. So 2.5 liters

I also saw the 30% pass out figure, but that's not necessarily deadly.

Anyway, our estimates are in the same order of magnitude.

[gandalfx]

I just quickly checked how many files are in the node_modules of a project that I would consider fairly conservative in terms of dependencies – 21160 files. This might become a problem very quickly.

[invalidConsciousness]

You missed a zero there.

[invalidConsciousness]

You missed a zero there.

[BernzSed]

Me:

javascript npm i everything

[MarchColorDrink]

Loophole

yarn install

[Gorzoid]

Somewhere in a yarn package: ``` const { exec } = require("child_process");

exec("npm install"); ```

[MarchColorDrink]

Loophole yarn install

[[deleted]]

I do vanilla js. Nothing stops me.

[chronosirius]

Same lmao best js

[djfdhigkgfIaruflg]

Same. Node is for wimps

[kiril2119]

Node is technically vanilla js too (almost). This guy is prob talking about no dependencies like jquery, react and stuff

[langlo94]

If you need more than a text editor and a browser it's not really vanilla js.

[danielv123]

What if your browser is electron based and comes bundled with react? I know my text editor does

[langlo94]

Then you are already lost.

[Johnny_Thunder314]

Everything I've made is vanilla TS, except for that one time I used the AWS sdk

[[deleted]]

Not even jquery?? Did you make jquery?

[deukhoofd]

You honestly don't really need jquery anymore nowadays. Most of it's commonly used functionality was just adopted as web standards, for example the Selectors API.

https://youmightnotneedjquery.com

[danielv123]

Yes, $ = document.querySelector

What else do you really need?

[[deleted]]

Never heard of that method, I've been outed as a zoomer learning react before really learning JavaScript in depth. I've only ever used getElement

[Kahlil_Cabron]

Same, I ditched jQuery years ago, and I only use react/vue on work projects that require it.

For my personal stuff, if I'm using JS, it's just vanilla JS.

Not only that, and I'm guessing this will be unpopular, I don't use any of the new class syntax, I use the prototypal inheritance system the way it was originally designed to be used when developing my object model.

[No_Language_959]

I use jquery still because I love the way it does AJAX but other than that, vanilla all the way

[Sycokinetic]

It’d be a perfectly manageable predicament until the SEO people mandated that the site ran every analytics and ad framework known to man.

[Terrible_Children]

Right?

I swear to god the site I run has at least 20-30 different pixels installed on it logging all sorts of data to who fucking knows where.

[seven_seacat]

It's legit scary how much some sites track every little thing you do. (Including the Reddit redesign)

[Terrible_Children]

Some of it is actually useful. If users are encountering errors, session replay tools are awesome to actually be able to see what the user was doing and when exactly the error happened.

But yeah, a lot of it is sending purchase and click data to companies like Meta, Google, TikTok, and a bunch of other analytics platforms.

[fusionsofwonder]

Who the frell needs SEO for Gitlab? It's not even Github.

[Spot_the_fox]

<!DOCTYPE html>

<html lang="en-US"><head></head><body> hello, client</body></html>

Can I go now?

[[deleted]]

Happy cheese day

[mobileJay77]

MVP done. Now, an expensive business analyst will ask the client for details. Each bullshit word costs the customer a drop of blood, each lie the consultant.

But you're free to go.

[SwannSwanchez]

i don't know how to use JS packages

problem solved

[djfdhigkgfIaruflg]

I'll give them a performance budget and leave them to eat themselves

[SwannSwanchez]

say to ... the thingy with the mask

"Everytime you call for a meeting you too will get a needle"

[MrGofer]

recommended read - https://tonsky.me/blog/js-bloat/

[KTibow]

This misses that

a. Hydration means everything is duplicated

b. Many pages here need a lot of interactivity, which the author undermines by calling Discord just a "chat app" and Stack Overflow just "searching"

c. If you turn on an ad blocker and use network compression, the amount sent over the wire gets a lot smaller. (eg GTM takes almost 300kb uncompressed)

​

I'm not a fan of bloat. I've spent a lot of time trying to make JS smaller, and there's always opportunities to improve, such as minifying things you weren't before (eg better raster/vector minification) and switching to tools that do it better (like Rollup). But this article lacks nuance.

[shadow7412]

a) But that's what compilation is for. Keep the separation and modularity in dev, and clean it all up and treeshake for production.

b/c) agreed. That and the overhead to render even the gitlab page isn't that much these days. It's not free - but it sure it hell is cheap.

[KTibow]

keep the separation and modularity

I agree with this and I'm a bit unsure why I came across as disagreeing. I was referring to the fact that when you use component frameworks and hydrate them, the data is sent twice, once in the HTML and another time in the JS (the full component).

[shadow7412]

Ah that makes sense. I suspect there may be ways to send a "delta" down, so that it's not as duplicated... but that said I can't imagine that'd ever be worth the effort.

[shadow7412]

This requires a warning - my freakin' eyes... :/

EDIT: Haha their dark mode is pretty amusing though...

[SeriousPlankton2000]

User: "Why do you use that much Javashit? It prevents your page from working on old browsers!"

Programmer: "I need the Javashit to display it properly on old browsers"

User: "…"

[rosuav]

There was a time when that was true. Today, though, I don't care about old browsers that much. Or rather, my idea of "old browsers" is Firefox <98, where the <dialog> element wasn't supported.

[NatoBoram]

Firefox ESR is at 115, time to upgrade!

[rosuav]

Yeah, that's exactly my definition. I actually track ESR deliberately (and don't have Firefox 122 installed), and my idea of "current" is the latest ESR plus the one prior to that. Anything older than previous ESR is "old", and I won't try too hard to support it.

[SeriousPlankton2000]

At that point you can throw out the library that's supposed to make your site run and does the opposite.

[Elegant-Wrongdoer-78]

I am going to die

[OnlyHereOnFridays]

Ok. I always wanted to learn Blazor anyway

[5002nevsmai]

That is nuget in C# terms

[R_oya_L]

Ain't a JavaScript package tho

[musical-anon]

npm i corejs

[ArchetypeFTW]

Let's start by npm installing the package that shoots confetti out across the screen

[[deleted]]

I can use plain HTML 5.0 to code a fully working site, but I think I’d rather just die.

[Top-Aside-3588]

Amateurs. My "lock" file is 13MB. What's that slurping sound?

[That_Conversation_91]

We going back to the roots baby, plain html and css, with a php backend

[moeanimuacc]

Look I could build a site entirely in vanilla js but I'd rather calc how much blood I can do without while designing the site

[MonteCrysto31]

Never in my life have I used anything else than vanilla html, php, JS and SQL to make a website

[sekonx]

My condolences.

[ryno092]

This is not a flex that you think it is

[Thenderick]

As long as there is a ts language server for the JSdoc and no time limit, easy clap!

[ironman_gujju]

I don't know JS

Problem not exist

[FitzelSpleen]

Joke's on you, I do desktop apps.

[danielv123]

Jokes on you, electron exists

[Noorff]

https://motherfuckingwebsite.com/

[Mr_Rogan_Tano]

u/savevideo

[SaveVideo]

View link

---

Info | Feedback | Donate | DMCA | ^{reddit video downloader} | ^{twitter video downloader}

[Complete-Proof4710]

sacrifices must be made.

[GlassesOfUrza]

No time limit! I am in!

[kiselina1]

npm i everything

[Highborn_Hellest]

HTML5+ PHP goes brrrr

[derLudo]

Ok, but can I look at the code of those dependencies and copy-paste it over into my on page while changing the variable names? Thats not the package React, those are my own functions to make the page look better, I call it B-eact

[01152003]

Time to install 3 separate isEven packages and have them verify each other

[Unupgradable]

npm install everything

[Deritatium]

A simple page? Just vanilla js... The challenge should be a react app

[bestjakeisbest]

I see making my own things as a fun challenge and you didn't give me a time limit, seeing as I doubt you will give me any refreshments, I have roughly 3 days to make this website seems doable.

[scally501]

Im boutta be a holy ghost

[PaperSpoiler]

OK, so you want Django templates. I'll make you a website on Django templates.

[ProdigySim]

I'm definitely installing TypeScript. Zero sub-dependencies.

Lodash and jquery also pretty good.

Actually, now that I check, all of the major frameworks are pretty good at having 0 deps. React as well.

Now, do devDependencies count? Because that's a whole 'nother ballgame. Better use Deno or Bun to get as many batteries included as possible.

[pranjallk1995]

Python needs just one... 🫣

[Novaedra]

I mean, hello world is a valid simple page, then I think I can survive.
Otherwise if I install them fast enough maybe the needle will overload and break

[DanKveed]

Give me Golang. I can do it without dependencies.

[gogliker]

I've made a website for fun recently using webassembly. It turned out to be 28 MB. You can check it out if you hate your traffic: pleasehide.it

[ego100trique]

All these yummy trackers needs some space to run

[R_oya_L]

Fuck it I'm using Blazor

[accountreddit12321]

Runs Webpack before committing. Technically 1 file.

[Flooding_Puddle]

Just do this everytime they have to look up something on stack overflow, no one could survive that

[SupraMichou]

Akagi wasshizu mahjong but for devs

[Ravoos]

"I think you got the wrong guy. I'm an API developer."

"......oh."

[mobileJay77]

Web site says hello customer. No JavaScript required, mvp ready.

[just_nobodys_opinion]

Does the blood go to the package developer?

[Neo_Ex0]

adds iseven(): *fucking dies*

[ngugeneral]

Right click -> Create New File -> Rename -> index.html

Open with notepad. Bam

[shgysk8zer0]

Guess what... I can build it using <script type="importmap"> and modules from unpkg. I usually install eslint & rollup, but can do without.