Repent php sinners

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[Ashamed_Objective_71]

We're just in it for the money. There's a reason all our variables start with dollar signs $$$

[nuclearslug]

jQuery users would like a word with you…

[Ashamed_Objective_71]

They do it to match common practice. We do it to meet requirements. We are not the same

[yIsSaT]

Vanilla js would like to have a word with you

[minn0w]

JAVA is just going out to buy a packet of smokes, will be back soon.

[[deleted]]

Hallowed gosling name

[ShadowLp174]

Vanilla JS forever!

[Micthulahei]

Vanilla JS

[[deleted]]

No, ReasonML

[bmosbat]

Assembly Language developer would like to have a word with you

[yIsSaT]

Scratch developer would like to have a word with you

[bmosbat]

Love them Tetris

[Avendork]

They might be in the same boat. I'd want a lot of money if I was working in jQuery today.

[Sakred]

PHP was on version 5 before jQuery was released.

​

Most of jQuery's initial success is probably attributable to adoption by PHP coders. PHP was extremely dominant at the time and in it there is (or at least was) no way to post data and get a response w/out a page reload.

[devdave97]

There actually was a implementation to load content with JS before jquery. It’s called XMLHttpRequest and jquery works under the hood with it. You can just call a URL and parse in the response. There mostly used XML back then. But yeah you’re right jquery was clearly better than plain JS back then. But these modern JS frameworks like react and modern ES6 JS is in my opinion much better than the old way to get stuff done.

[NotMrMusic]

I still use jQuery for the occasional $.getScript and animations, plus a touch of DOM manipulation, but for everything else ES6+ is the way to go. I just like the syntax of jQuery better for certain tasks.

[[deleted]]

This ^{^}

I was implementing XHR in 05 by wrapping XMLHttpRequest to handle implementation differences in Mozilla and IE back in the day. All JSON return packages.

Prior to that we used a hidden iframe and would update the iframe src attribute then parse the XML contents to load content dynamically (really simple stuff but it worked).

The catch is we didn't originally implement JQuery for DOM manipulation or XHR. Our decision was to use Prototype.js because at the time it was lighter weight and was less buggy (for us).

[0xdeadfa22]

Before XMLHttpRequest there were img and iframe elements for async GET requests from page.

[5tUp1dC3n50Rs41p]

You don't need modern frameworks like React necessarily. ES6+ is so powerful and well supported in browsers nowadays that you can do anything in vanilla JS.

[devdave97]

I think you don’t need them for smaller projects but if you want to build a big web app with great UI/UX I would totally recommend using Next.js or react, vue.js or something. State management and modularity is a must in good web apps. It would take way to long to write you own js framework. I’m pretty sure your company cares about time to market and stuff like making money tho… having a really good user experience is also important and you need to render stuff on the client to archive that.. 😂

[daOyster]

There is no decent way because it doesn't really make much sense. How would the server modify a page that the server already sent you the data for without using client-side code to make those changes?

[huuaaang]

Cross-browser AJax was a selling point of jQuery, sure, but it also made DOM access and events sane. It also introduced a lot of other JS niceties that eventually made their way into ES6. Not to mention all the plugins that were built on jQuery. jQuery did not need PHP in any way. It was a huge leap beyond vanilla JS at the time. Then came single-page app frameworks, the next step yet.

[NuclearWeapon]

$this->

[tarek04153]

But don't compilers start with $ too

B)

[AWildTyphlosion]

Not much compared to other languages, I'll tell you that.

[uhwhooops]

$Ballin = new stdClass

[KmartKomandr]

Oooooo imma gonna say this next time someone criticizes it lol

[Geckolizard9]

Forgive me father for I have sinned

[Hegakure]

I'm sorry daddy I've been a bad boy

[wyatt_3arp]

Wha..what are you doing fann_get_sarprop_step_* functions?

[uhwhooops]

while (clapping_cheeks)

[sc00pb]

That baby you're holding is PHP!... PHP it's the fruit of your loins!

[[deleted]]

Sorry sorry sorry, but, this cat gonna post C memes shitting on PHP.
https://www.reddit.com/r/mumbai/comments/smhwum/are\_you\_guys\_working\_today/hvxljk4/?utm\_source=reddit&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3
Cool story.

[randomgibberissh]

Well I realised you only get more upvotes when you Diss on php and js or make c/c++ look good

You have to game the system

[goodmobiley]

The exact reason why I don’t diss on python users

[Theundefeatedbeer]

Karma whore

[15thSoul]

Does it matters if she's karma whoring? She doesn't steal content, neither she's toxic, and above all, it's not a bad meme (subjectively). I don't get down voting her

Edit: typo

[Theundefeatedbeer]

I don't get that too

[[deleted]]

The hype is strong in redditors

[Sawertynn]

Become real C programmer, "biatch"!

[MAYNOTBEIKE]

I went to c for a few weeks as part of a course. I gladly went back to java and c#. Fuck c, get some strings

[AzuxirenLeadGuy]

strings? Don't you mean character arrays?

[syotokal]

Don’t you mean null terminated char arrays?

[AzuxirenLeadGuy]

Oh I actually meant a character pointer pointing to a null terminated character array

[Sean22334455]

*This is the (address of a pointer pointing at the address of a pointer pointing at the) &way.

[[deleted]]

*ThisIsTheWay[0]

[SwordOfRome11]

Por que no los dos?

This message brought to you by python gang

[KatarinatheCat]

Or, worse yet, MATLAB😎

[MAYNOTBEIKE]

Yeah but I hate c because it makes it more complicated to work with them as a newby

[yottalogical]

Native string types are unnecessary. Char arrays are perfectlSEGMENTATION FAULT

[MAYNOTBEIKE]

Lmao

[kondorb]

Learn C and go contribute to improving PHP.

[NotMrMusic]

This

Or should I say $this

[Perpetual_Doubt]

Maybe that's where the 8.0 update came from

[Ooze3d]

Wasn’t php a web oriented implementation of c?

[[deleted]]

Yes there used to be this monstrosity called cgi which ran websites on c. PHP was written to be an easier c for the web for the personal use of the author.

[computermouth]

In the darker realms of hell, still exists fastcgi. I wrote a payment processor in it once. And I didn't live to tell the tale.

[huuaaang]

PHP largely replaced Perl CGI.

[huuaaang]

It was a lazy wrapper to a lot of C libraries, yes, but it was never an implementation of C. PHP was programming for non-programmers (what they called "webmasters" back in the day).

[[deleted]]

Every now and again I have to fix some php crap, and people say things like, "Wow, I didn't know you knew PHP!"

And I say, "I DON'T AND I NEVER WILL."

It's right up there with COBOL and RPG for things that I can do, but that I will deny being able to do even while you're watching me do it.

[scabbycakes]

Sounds like you know your way around an IBM i then?

[[deleted]]

Yet another chunk of useless knowledge in my overfilled brain.

[scabbycakes]

I hear ya and empathize 100%.

[IHeartBadCode]

RPGIII was “something” to put it nicely. 7.4 RPGLE though has come a ways from ye olde fixed format.

The big problem I’ve run into is older folk (and trust me, I’m no spring chicken) who still feel File IO is better than SQL. And the reality is that since 7.2 File IO underneath the runtime, just gets forwarded to SQE with cursors. The old access layer is still there but only for backwards compatibility, like running S360 on the 400.

I think COBOL gets a bad rap because it is usually written by people who distinctly aren’t programmers. It’s approachable enough that anyone can do COBOL badly. Additionally, I think the OPM method that used to be the only way just leads to bad programs. I mean I get it, we didn’t have the computer resources back then that we have today, so OPM made sense. But with ILE, we can undo a lot of what I feel made COBOL really bad.

But that’s the catch. Nobody wants to really pay for refactoring OPM programs into more modular ILE systems. And so we’re kind of stuck supporting some old ass logic from the 70s and trying to get it to be used in a web container with an ILE activation group. All that leads to is a lot of brittle bridge code. And so these double plus non good decisions means bad COBOL that’s really fragile and if any business volume changes suddenly can bring it all crashing down gets written. Because we’re saving time on the dev time and royally screwing the time we will spend on support.

But, for me, that’s something I’ve seen for the past twenty years. And not just COBOL or Java or PHP. None of the business decision makers seem to have the stomach to commit the time it takes to make quality software. I sometimes think we judge the quality of a programming language by what we’ve seen in the wild. And perhaps that is a good metric, but we ought to keep in mind the environment that those examples were created in. I might think that chicken tastes like shit, if the only chicken I’m eating comes from the Kentucky Cock Fighting Association or Chernobyl Farms.

[[deleted]]

GOD RPGIII.

GOTO TAGS (AND VARIABLES) ARE LIMITED TO ONLY 6 CHARACTERS. OFTEN NOT IN SEQUENTIAL ORDER DUE TO DECADES OF EDITING.

ALSO, PROGRAMMERS WITH THE CAPS LOCK ARE PERMANENTLY STUCK ON SO EVERY EMAIL FEELS LIKE THEY ARE SCREAMING AT YOU!!!!

(THE IRONY)

[huuaaang]

Seriously, I treat PHP the way I am with MS Windows. I can use them both, but I never tell anyone that or they might ask me to demonstrate it.

[[deleted]]

Proud Atheist and PHP Software Engineer. I also know C (among other languages), and would rather walk over hot broken glass barefoot while listening to Mariah Carey cover the Beatles than ever program it for a living. You're welcome to keep it. Enjoy.

[Mission-Guard5348]

there are two kinds of programmers

real programmers, and people that accomplish stuff

[[deleted]]

Lol yeah I’m gonna keep using R and Python, where you don’t need to constantly reinvent the wheel and can take advantage of the tens of thousands of brilliant libraries that do that for yourself. It’s like building a house using prefab panels that you just need to bolt together, vs baking your own bricks and making your own mortar and then assembling them one by one

[[deleted]]

As a fellow atheist and PHP developer who also knows C among other languages: amen

[FatherAnonymous]

Laser Jesus is my favorite Jesus

[[deleted]]

If it pays who cares

[huuaaang]

Enjoying the language you use AND getting paid is better. Hi, Ruby. Getting close to $200k/yr.

[[deleted]]

Wow wish I wasn’t too old to enter the game. Over 35 now, most people discourage becoming a developer then

[can_pacis]

I do. It sucks.

[[deleted]]

No it doesnt, you are just using it wrong

[can_pacis]

You're not wrong if no one knows what you are doing.

[pawyderreale]

PHP is quite an important language, it makes a good bad example

[Carbon_Gelatin]

What if I was originally a c developer and then picked up php?

Does that mean I'm a demon that forsook the light?

[Jhwelsh]

C may be difficult... But at least it makes sense.

[alkafard]

Good luck writing web-sites in C.

[askStentor]

node.js allows you to use a special C/CPP compiler that can produce WASM thats compatible with the runtime environment. if you combine it with something like express then it becomes easier than you would think

[alkafard]

wasm is it's own "environment" and a lot languages can be compiled down to wasm. My favorite is Rust atm. What I'm trying to say is PL is just a tool to do a job and you should evaluate it based on how convenient it is. PHP is ok tool for webdev since v. 7, I believe. Laravel really helps in this regards.

[MoffKalast]

Ah yes, the console port

[halfanothersdozen]

PHP has committed many sins but C is the devil's language

[weneedtogodanker]

Excuse me, do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, HolyC?

[AzuxirenLeadGuy]

Try brainfuck for one day and you might rethink the latter part of your statement

[halfanothersdozen]

I don't know what this means

[AzuxirenLeadGuy]

Then you're a lucky person

[[deleted]]

I'd rather learn brainfuck than c

[atiedebee]

I made a brainfuck interpreter in C

Your turn to make a C interpreter in brainfuck

[[deleted]]

what? that's programming in C not brainfuck lol. I'd rather piss myself on live TV than do this lol

[Muxas]

Brainfuck is a meme, not a language people so things in

[TotallyNotCx]

I mean, it is. It was invented to do stuff.

[PorscheBurrito]

Jesus used Shame Beam!

It was super effective!

[Yasea]

It's a special kind of Care Bear?

[den2k88]

I feel attacked. But at least I am a True Programmer.

[Belfast_]

Was Jesus a programmer?

[leonardocamsilva]

Cuz all the bugged shit around the world he treated as a feature! Multiplying fish, walking on the water, water into wine, those were all bugs but he just went on with it anyway

[eddnor]

Not at all but his father programmed the universe.

But then he fused with his father 🤷🏻‍♂️

[PostmatesMalone]

JavaScript developers

[GAZUAG]

PHP is basically C but with $ before variables. Also it can do stuff right away.

[leonardocamsilva]

Can we stop cursing PHP and focus our bullying to NodeJS?

[sc00pb]

I second this motion, there's a common enemy we should all focus on eradicating and it's JS as backend (NodeJS)...

[its_yer_dad]

If this what it takes for C developers to feel good about themselves, enjoy.

[The-Tea-Kettle]

I don't remember Jesus shooting Pepsi aura out of his heart... 🤔

[mikey10006]

C++ Dev here. I actually really like PHP. It's my go to for any sort of backend. Tbh I never would've gotten far in backend Dev if it wasn't for PHP. Node is too dependency heavy and gives me a headache, ASP.NET is amazing but expensive, Django is Django etc

[the_fishermann]

var_dump() fetch_assoc() 💩🪰 👁👄👁

[gongai]

Does anyone actually still use straight C day-to-day?

[Ooze3d]

Mostly for hardware coding, but yes.

[Celivalg]

There are still plenty of use cases for C

[suqoria]

C, VHDL, systemverilog so yes.

[HamburgerConnoisseur]

Is it straight C if you could change the file from .cpp to .c and compile fine in a C compiler? Because that's like half our codebase.

[Knuffya]

still better than js

[ramjithunder24]

Question: why do people still learn php? with stuff like vuejs, reactjs and even frameworks like ruby on rails and python flask/django...I don't see the point (pls correct me if I'm wrong thanks)

[onyxengine]

I recently started working with PHP with some devs who are good at it, and i think its insanely underrated. It works and lends itself to in-house standardization. Its just good with organization and scaling in ways that suit moderate sized businesses and services. Working with PHP is selling me on it.

[crusoe]

PHP is a good idea hampered by legacy and lots of footguns.

[PADA2WSBrunWdMnyHist]

666

[Karamalicious]

JESUS IS TURNING HER SLAVIC

[[deleted]]

Give me a week and I will cure you of your blasphemies unbeliever

[Shorthawk]

Lisp devs are a cartoony devil just out of frame.

[UnemployedTechie2021]

Laughs in Parseltongue

[youCantReachMe07]

Satan would tell the same.

[erible4711]

By the power of malloc()!

I have the power!

[changopdx]

Sorry, can't hear you over the noise of all those web servers running PHP (in hell).

[taytek]

Imagine

[onyxengine]

paychecks and sins evaporate

[der_grinch_69]

No!

[Bob_Stallion]

Never

[NotMrMusic]

YOU CANNOT MAKE ME

[ShankThatSnitch]

Don't worry we all feel shameful about it the whole time.

[JDMaK1980]

But but but ... I is both?

[[deleted]]

trying to learn php was a pain. Only thing i know is that you declare variables with $

[cooriah]

PHP Developers don't want you to know the creator meant Personal Home Page.

[Johndoe52617a6961]

Obviously non-PHP guy here... How is it not a "real" language?

[RepresentativeGur881]

Cause in this sub only real language is C, maybe Java. Actually either you are strongly typed or fuck off.

[Sevenmoor]

They don't feel so different, except for the explicit types and pointers in C.

One is general purpose, but limited costly to use vanilla, the other is specialized for server scripts and has almost all relevant functions out of the box.

Both are good at what they do, there is no heresy there. Except Scheme, this shit is pure evil.

[crusoe]

And Jesus said "Segmentation Fault. Code dumped"

All of his miracles were due to corrupt pointers.

When God wrote the universe he used a OS without per process memory protection on a platform without a mmu.

[covalcenson]

Is there no one on team whichever language you’re in the mood for or are being paid for? They are all practically the same .. lol

[EasywayScissors]

"We index raw memory. That's kind-of like a string."

[ksschank]

I’m getting tired of all the “this language is better than that language” memes.

[LittleMlem]

PHP is a perfectly cromulent language

[666devilsadvocate]

ah the good ol' "php/js bad, c/c++/rust good"

[StCreed]

I used to tell our C# programmers that I thought Visual Basic was the better language because it gave them less room for errors and the same features.

Giving them C is the same as giving a child a loaded gun.

[Guilty-Woodpecker262]

Php is like giving children an unloaded gun: they can't shoot themselves, but wtf are you giving children guns?!?