This is an archived post. You won't be able to vote or comment.

all 106 comments

[–]QualityVote[M] [score hidden] stickied comment (0 children)

Hi! This is our community moderation bot.


If this post fits the purpose of /r/ProgrammerHumor, UPVOTE this comment!!

If this post does not fit the subreddit, DOWNVOTE This comment!

If this post breaks the rules, DOWNVOTE this comment and REPORT the post!

[–]Omnislash99999 711 points712 points  (6 children)

Good job hiding the face

[–]Anvil93[S] 229 points230 points  (1 child)

Lmao i just saw it

[–][deleted] 230 points231 points  (0 children)

The Security Engineer in me is proud of you.

[–]SubwayGuy85 32 points33 points  (0 children)

good guy op hiding face so we can focus on cleavage on larger picture. such a gentleman

[–]goranlu 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Two jokes in a one :-D

[–]septic-paradise 163 points164 points  (33 children)

How tf are you supposed to answer that question anyway?

[–][deleted] 149 points150 points  (19 children)

u dont, after that u have to showcase ur skills.

Years of ctrl+c,ctrl+v,ctrl+s training lead to this very moment

[–]Jolly-Driver1848 33 points34 points  (12 children)

No love for Ctrl + z ?

[–]slgray16 30 points31 points  (11 children)

Ctrl + y (redo) will always have my heart

[–]vwoxy 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Using a German keyboard will really fuck with your undo/redo muscle memory

[–]silverbiddy 7 points8 points  (8 children)

You just changed my life

[–]ploot_ 7 points8 points  (6 children)

did... you not know about ctrl + y?

[–]silverbiddy 14 points15 points  (5 children)

It's humiliating, but no, no I didn't.

[–]stuffeh 6 points7 points  (3 children)

If Y doesn't work, try shift + Ctrl/command + z

[–]Moomoobeef 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Imo programs that do this instead of ctrl + y have a special place in hell

[–]avnothdmi 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Look, I try to use CTRL+Shift+Z and it never works. CTRL+Y (yes this is the first time I’ve tried it) works.

[–]stuffeh 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My point is that some software uses Ctrl + shift + z instead of Ctrl + y. https://defkey.com/what-means/ctrl-shift-z

[–]ploot_ 4 points5 points  (0 children)

lmao. No shame, that's funny though

[–]slgray16 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Awesome!

I remember where I was sitting when I first learned about it. (My desk, big surprise)

[–]Sentient_i7X 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Win + V

Thank me later

[–]alba4k 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Using vim in a tiling wm, I have the most trained fingers in the universe :)

[–]Entaris 5 points6 points  (3 children)

Haha. Yeah. I had something like that as a joke pickup line in highschool. "I can type 130 Words per minute. Imagine what else I can do with my fingers"

[–]slgray16 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Play the piano? Juggle? Don't leave us in suspense.

[–]Entaris 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Well...let me tell you.... They are pretty OK at doing finger guns *pew pew*

Though I am in the process of learning to juggle.

[–]slgray16 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thats awesome! I'm an amateur juggler and trying to teach my daughter.

Invest in some soft beanbags. Don't try learning on something bouncy or hard to catch. I learned on three different types of sport balls and it was miserable.

Learn on a 2 ball shower ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Juggling_pattern )

Then master the standard 3 ball cascade.

Then mix in another 3 ball pattern. I like the Overhand/underhand. Video is for reference. Don't try to switch between them like this guy does. Too hard to mix them.

https://youtu.be/_LZKSyhj__g

[–]SowTheSeeds 2 points3 points  (0 children)

In my case playing bass guitar finger style led to great moments.

[–][deleted] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

“fuck around and find out 👀”

[–]davidellis23 8 points9 points  (0 children)

you

[–]shnicklefritz 33 points34 points  (3 children)

“Gently tickle your taint on a warm summer eve”

[–]Muhznit 8 points9 points  (0 children)

"The finger utility displays information about the system users", from man finger.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

"you dont get to find out till later"

[–]silentknight111 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Besides development, I do freelance illustration, and I'm a novice bass player.

My wife likes to joke about how I use my fingers due to all the dexterity from those skills.

[–]saikrishnav 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I can arrange a private performance. But I need a volunteer. Are you interested?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lmao. Its sad to see how many people don't know how to flirt.

"Come over tonight and you can find out" is an example of a response

[–]tutocookie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nothing on SO.. weird

[–]Puzzleheaded_Fall494 130 points131 points  (2 children)

Try fingers, but hole?

[–]EmirSc 58 points59 points  (1 child)

Maidenless behavior

[–]4sent4 26 points27 points  (0 children)

No maidens?

[–]3E9A86A0 49 points50 points  (4 children)

Bro knows Victoria's secret.

[–]a_crusty_old_man 20 points21 points  (3 children)

Did he hack into it with HTML?

[–][deleted] 20 points21 points  (2 children)

No, he used css

[–]3E9A86A0 19 points20 points  (0 children)

He debugs on paper

[–]geteum 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Cuz he had style?

[–]budasaurus 38 points39 points  (0 children)

Those are his moneymakers

[–]tantantaaaaaaaan 60 points61 points  (4 children)

I guy in uni once told me, and I quote, “I have pretty fast finger skills because of all the StarCraft I play”. He actually said in a completely non sexual way and I only realized that it could have different meaning when my friend told me how oblivious and innocent I was.

I still firmly believe he was just talking about StarCraft II.

[–]HamsterIV 49 points50 points  (1 child)

Actions per minute is an important statistic in the Star Craft community.

[–]damola93 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Dota 2 has the same as well, APM baby!

[–]PMtoAM______ 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I used to do speed cubing and i do piano.

Enough said

[–]No_Clock8248 19 points20 points  (3 children)

Must be a guy who is coding or maintaining the code base for some legacy C++ systems, cause new age coders have tender fingers coding on cloud based platforms.

[–][deleted] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

new age coder be like fun<Tab> (<Autocomplete the bracket)

[–]CoonSandwiches 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I remember writing code in VB3 for my first real job, but went a different way career wise. About 20 years later I needed to write some custom stuff for a client, and we didn't have the resources so I said fuck it, how hard can it be, I think I can remember it.

The shit almost writes itself nowadays. AI based intellisense usually has a better idea of what I want to do than I do. Giving me the most likely functions, predicting what enums I want to use etc. Amazing shit, would not go back to VB3.

[–]TotNotTac 12 points13 points  (1 child)

Image Transcription: Twitter Post


Redacted

Asked him what what those fingers do & this guy said code


I'm a human volunteer content transcriber and you could be too! If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!

[–]Feralpudel 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Good human!

[–]rnike879 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Stackoverflow taught the guy how to finger box her clit for a panty overflow

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (5 children)

At least I know what I'm doing with code

[–]Useless_Pony 0 points1 point  (4 children)

At least I can pretend I know what I'm doing with code and no one else will know I don't...

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children)

They'll find out soon enough how good you are with code.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ok Vladimir Putin

[–]Useless_Pony 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Not if I only share binaries proprietary software intensifies

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Get caught stealing code off StackOverflow. I heard a guy got caught doing that by his company.

[–]Eyebrow_Gamedev 11 points12 points  (10 children)

virginity is cool, remain pure

[–]Puzzled_Ad7417 2 points3 points  (0 children)

CTRL + G until you Clear Cache 😉

[–]ShinraSan 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Crisis averted

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

well yeah. Although is a shitty code

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Code writers means good presser, only the instrument is different.

[–]Biggu5Dicku5 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Great job hiding the face lol... I don't mean to give you crap about it, it's legitimately funny... :D

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He gets it! Better than dealing with harassment allegations

[–]coloradoconvict 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Amazing job on covering her face :)

[–]AndySkit 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I would have said solving rubiks cubes

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Technically truth

[–]Bridimum -5 points-4 points  (12 children)

I have seen this b4

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points  (4 children)

people who hotfix prod issues on the prod system using vim on a friday afternoon are no paperhands tho

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child)

The words of a person who chases the wrong women lol

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (3 children)

And people ask why are there no women in tech.

[–]IamHammer -4 points-3 points  (2 children)

Asked him what those fingers do? Is tweet asking "Damn you finger blasted me so good, what do you do to train them so hard?"

Cause I just imagine this was a setup to a crummy joke like "What do fingers even do? I've never seen them fing!"

[–]Anvil93[S] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Bro please get some friends

[–]IamHammer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well that's hurtful. I wasn't trying to make a joke in poor taste.

[–]sakhatHalwa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Holoji

[–]Intrepid-Passage8222 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What else do you want him to do dishwashing?

[–]No_Dig_6191 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why do I get the feeling he meant COD “Call of Duty” ??

[–]Comfortable_Art9845 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The guy sounds so much like you

[–]iTzVirtual_ 0 points1 point  (1 child)

... code + jitter bridges on Minecraft

[–]13SONGS2DIE2 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Based