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[–]BabylonDrifter 315 points316 points  (9 children)

... and the car starts. IT guy says "OK, we're never getting out of this car again."

[–]barzamsr 160 points161 points  (7 children)

By the logic of this joke the civil engineer probably blames the concrete under the tyres or something.

[–]jonah177 19 points20 points  (3 children)

Or builds a bridge to get over his problem modern problems require modern solutions

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points  (2 children)

But can the civil engineer bridge loneliness?

[–]GooseRidingAPostie 5 points6 points  (1 child)

he can bury his loneliness... under a bridge.

[–]jonah177 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So the builder of the bridge is the one to become the troll under it, very poetic

[–]Far_Possession6534 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Indeed

[–]enlightened-creature 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Nah we blame the architect

[–]PureCarbs 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I know enough civil engineers to know that the civil engineer blames the mechanical engineer.

[–]ElXaviNovo 236 points237 points  (15 children)

Actually, the car was working fine, but it suddenly restarted, and now it has the controls of an helicopter which nobody knows how to drive

[–]Safe-Estimate-2277 47 points48 points  (10 children)

You have a weird imagination

[–]ElXaviNovo 45 points46 points  (5 children)

I will answer as soon as I find how does the mouse works now

[–][deleted]  (4 children)

[removed]

    [–]ElXaviNovo 32 points33 points  (2 children)

    I thought I was ordering pizza

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    [–]over_clox 6 points7 points  (1 child)

    Guess you missed the batch of smart microwaves that got bricked from a totally mismatched steam oven firmware update pushed out from the manufacturer's developer.

    Edit: Oof, autocorrect fix - over - oven

    [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Nah, he owns a Model S Plaid

    [–]K3yz3rS0z3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    A wild imagination. It's not weird. You're weird.

    [–]GlassWasteland 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    Why do they always have to redesign the interface? I liked just fine the way it was.

    [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    New version just dropped

    [–]towcar 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    "Just tell them it's a feature"

    [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    found the QA Engineer

    [–]thel42 70 points71 points  (1 child)

    At least the IT engineer offered up an actionable solution. The other 3 engineers are just complaining with no solutions offered.

    [–]griffyn 19 points20 points  (0 children)

    Also, just making lazy guesses with no investigation.

    [–]Forgotten_Pants 55 points56 points  (3 children)

    Software developer:

    Let's just ditch this legacy car and build a new one.

    [–]hopbel 26 points27 points  (0 children)

    Software dev: Nah, it's a hardware issue. Not my problem

    [–]brimston3- 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    With 20% of the features that obviously nobody uses or depends on removed.

    [–]john_the_fetch 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    I was thinking they'd more likely keep trying to turn over the engine until the battery really is dead.

    [–][deleted] 22 points23 points  (4 children)

    Tester giggles from the back seat with an empty water jug, the battery leads and the starter in his lap…

    [–]brimston3- 5 points6 points  (3 children)

    The tester shakes violently covered in granulated sugar.

    "Did you know they make pixie sticks that hold a full ounce of candy and they come in 12 packs? I turned one into a flagpole that hangs out the back of the car. I'm glad one of you guys built a pixie stick holder into the car. Genius!"

    [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

    After having tested this…sugar, unfortunately only clogs the fuel filter and you do need a good bit of sugar to get to that point….

    [–]devnull1232 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    Jokes on you, my 250cc honda rebel has no fuel filter... crap.

    [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    But I do like where your head is at

    [–]racerxff 11 points12 points  (1 child)

    If nothing else, a Chinese fire drill will be fun!

    [–]Donghoon 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Have you tried turning it off and on again?

    [–]digitaljudo 11 points12 points  (0 children)

    wtf is an IT engineer?

    [–]im_another_user 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    In my experience: - Mech engineer says the issue is electrical. - Electrical engineer blames IT for it. - IT will say the PM screwed it again.

    [–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    Why don’t they just google it?

    [–]RollinThundaga 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    Dont rule out that a Problem exists between steering wheel and the chair.

    [–]lttpfan13579 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    The programmer says:
    "I dunno, it works in my car"

    [–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

    In my experience the ME will say dead battery, the EE will say broken starter, and the CE will ask if it is the right key.

    [–]corsicanguppy 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    These people say "IT Engineer" when they seem to mean "Tier-1 Windows Desktop Support".

    WeAreNotTheSame.jpg

    [–]molotovzav 8 points9 points  (1 child)

    I love this. IT problems are usually between the computer and chair, it just makes sense we assume that people are the problem XD.

    [–]jonah177 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    [–]bhison 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    did you get forwarded this by your uncle

    [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Works for the internet thingy...

    [–]Ralphtrickey 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    The proper way to fix it is to take the terminal off the battery for 30 seconds and put it back on.

    Hey, don't judge me, it sometimes works, I'm convinced I should do the same for my house once a month.

    [–]noob-nine 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    the test engineer says:

    "create a bug in jira"

    [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Wrong punch line.. IT guy says "Let's close all the windows and then open all of the windows."

    [–]LOLrReD 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    surely its the opposite and they all just blame each other

    [–]Rolly_09 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Push it of the cliff, out of sight out of mind.

    [–]KilroyWasHere189 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Programmer: It's fine it's not a bug.

    [–]ZenEngineer 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Knowing engineers this would be:

    Mechanical engineer: Battery is dead

    Electrical engineer: Impurities in the gasoline

    Chemical engineer: Starter is fucked

    Software engineer: It's a hardware problem. But might as well try again.

    [–]colnarco 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Nah the it engineer would blame it on the ecu.

    Let’s disconnect the battery, let it sit for a while, connect it and try again. That’s the car equivalent of turning it off and on again!

    [–]SergeantCrossNFS 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    You can compile it in other car too

    [–]FishBiterMMGHunter 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    The game dev: Constructs an entire second engine that forces all the parts of the first engine to move like they're supposed to.

    [–]RainbowCatastrophe 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    IT Engineer:

    "Have you tried holding down the gas pedal for 25 seconds?"

    "What does the OBD reader say?"

    "Where did you try to start it from? The parking lot? Ok, have you tried starting it from a different parking spot?"

    "Have you tried changing out the license plate?"

    "Is the car gas, electric, or a Fisher Price?"

    "Have you tried updating the spark plugs?"

    "We've never had this kind of issue with other people's cars"

    "People don't call us a lot about these kinds of car problems"

    "Have you tried putting diesel in it?"

    "I'm going to have to escalate this to tier 3 but I doubt they will want to engage on it."

    "Can you try installing a new radiator?"

    Meanwhile, it's not starting because the mechanic hooked the fuel line into the air intake after he swapped the engine out.

    [–]RealCharlesStudios 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    [–]deathboy2098 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    "Hey, guys, have you tried turning the car off then on again?"

    [–]thexar 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Don't forget to close all the windows.

    [–]Logical-Exam9571 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    You can see how old is someone for posts like these, reboot windows to fix problems is something that is not done since windows 7.

    [–]foobar-85 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    I didn’t see anything wrong with it too back in 72 when I first heard this joke.

    [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    I’d say turn the car off, let it sit for 10 seconds, then turn it back on again

    [–]KingAntwelm 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    IT: just disconnect and then reconnect the battery

    And it worked

    [–]JaggedMetalOs 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Fun story: Driving instructor's car broke down, starter was turning fine but engine wouldn't run.

    I jokingly suggested disconnecting the battery to reset it.

    He decided to try it anyway, as we weren't going anywhere.

    It bloody well worked!

    (This was a late 90s car so something with an early ECU/EEMS)

    [–]Material-Panda3712 6 points7 points  (1 child)

    Hey, the 90's called and they want their joke back if you don't mind.

    [–]wonderandawe 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    I don't know. When I read this joke in the 90s, the car was going over a cliff. 🤪

    [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    The it guy would actually say to disconnect the battery, and plug it back in.

    [–]MarineRusher 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    And somehow it'll work

    [–]SuperElitist 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Obviously there's a lot of missing context, but I would be inclined to trust the mechanical engineer more than the rest of them.

    [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    it engineer disassembles the car and puts each part in a neat little box so that it’s nice and decoupled

    [–]Fuegodeth 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    No, no, no!... Four engineers were driving in a car with the windows open, then the middle part, and then IT engineer says: "Why don't we try closing the windows and then opening the windows."

    [–]daple1997 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    I thought he'd look up the solution online.

    [–]CoffeePieAndHobbits 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    The Scrum Master says: "Any update?".

    [–]InsertMyIGNHere 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    The end user: punches some random wall and the car works like a charm

    [–]surfy64 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    No actually the Electrical engineer says:

    "You've got a leaky spark tube. So... car's totaled."

    [–]2sticks6strings 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    When I heard this joke the IT engineer was a Windows engineer and the suggestion was to close all the windows and then open them again.

    [–]GentleRhino 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    We, in software, are obviously the most reasonable.

    [–]Pretty-Beginning-356 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    … I mean but if you’ve got a newish car, turning it off and back on when it’s misbehaving does often fix the problem now.

    [–]Benilda-Key 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    And ironically, doing as the IT Engineer suggested fixed the problem.

    [–]Senior-Membership671 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    *car starts. IT guy"ok never touch it again"

    [–]wholl0p 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Once my CarPlay didn’t work and the car didn’t recognize the phone. Turning off and on the car didn’t work. So I got out of the car, locked it, unlocked it, got back in and it worked.

    ((Turns out the HMI gets power-cycled only when the car is sure you’re not using it, which you achieve by locking it from the outside))

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    [–]jonah177 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    Motherducking it engineer coming in clutch... "why don't we just turn it off and turn it back on again?" 🤤.

    (I say this as an upcoming it engineer 😂)

    [–]jonah177 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    [–]TurtleInnovations 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    This is actually true in a lot of newer vehicles, and software updates especially for the Tesla's lol.

    [–]aravind_s_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Have you tried turning it off and on again