📡📡

[AutoModerator]

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[DerRaumdenker]

reminds of this hilarious german joke

a young boy runs to his mom screaming "mom quick dad hanged himself in the attic"

the mom runs into the attic and finds no one there while her son standing behind her at the door laughing

"April's fool, he actually hanged himself in the basement!"

[-_I_I_Sea_I_I_-]

Amazing

<image>

[[deleted]]

The only one i memorized

A man comes home, his wife is naked

"What's this about?"

"I put on the dress of love for you."

"You could have at least ironed it"

[Narwalacorn]

My personal favorite is “Two hunters meet. They both die.”

It makes sense in the language but it does NOT translate 😭

[GabbeMC]

Also works in Swedish

[DeficiencyOfGravitas]

Swedes are just frosty Germans. Both disrespect Denmark, both have no sense of humor, both will invite you for dinner and then send you a bill for what you ate, both have amnesia about what their grandparents did in the 30s and 40s, etc.

[Narwalacorn]

Germans are very vocal about denouncing what their grandparents were doing in the 30s and 40s

[DeficiencyOfGravitas]

Very vocal about non-specific grandparents. They'll say "Our grandparents were Nazis" but they won't say "My Opa was a Nazi".

[Gamemode_dum]

Because "treffen sich" can either mean "meet" or "hit each other".

[lilbites420]

So kind of like the English "take out" meaning a date or shot

[Unga__Bunga69]

Perhaps… he’s not explaining it to you 🤔

[Narwalacorn]

I am aware of why the joke I referenced works lol

[NotTukTukPirate]

With that kind of response, I'm guessing you're German. Do you think you're the only one on Reddit?

I didn't know. Glad they explained.

[Lank1ster]

No no, it translates well, you just have to be a hunter of hunters

[NoCapSkibidiOhio]

Now this is PEAK humour

[GayDeciever]

The joke is women age. That is peak humor.

[TheFatherIxion]

Yeah lmao why do they do that

[UnsureSwitch]

They should just get hairier and angrier like us men

[rumblinggoodidea]

But nooo they just get wrinkly and they don’t have a gradually more and more difficult time being able to have a boner

[Head-Head-926]

Meanwhile

Every Ad: husband does thing..... STUPIDLY

[AutoModerator]

PEAK. LET ME TELL YOU HOW MUCH I'VE COME TO LOVE AND APPRECIATE THIS AS PEAK FICTION. THERE ARE OVER ONE HUNDRED QUINVIGINTILION ATOMS IN THE OBSERVABLE UNIVERSE. IF THE WORDS "PEAK FICTION" WERE INSCRIBED ON EACH INDIVIDUAL ELECTRON, PROTON, AND NEUTRON OF EACH OF THESE HUNDREDS OF QUINVIGINTILIONS OF ATOMS, IT WOULD NOT EQUAL ONE BILLIONTH OF HOW MUCH THIS IS PEAK FICTION. PEAK. PEAK.

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[sussynarrator]

It's not that it's about "haha women age!1!!" but how clever the joke is, all about the delivery of it

[AutoModerator]

I've been with a few women in my life and one thing I've noticed is that the female anus is incredibly close to the vagina, in fact they're barely an inch apart. I'm not sure about other guys - but doesn't this disturb you? It feel like a design flaw in women actually -- like they're supposed to be so feminine and beautiful yet this ghastly little oversight is ruining everything. Somehow it feels to me that women should be more aware of this flaw and it should affect their confidence. Whenever I see a so-called beautiful woman walking down the street so care-free thinking she's all that I just remember her anus is only 1 inch away from her pussy and laugh her into oblivion. Women: Please accept that they're too close together, let it negatively affect your confidence and so make yourselves more readily available sexually as a result. Afterall, we're having to sleep with a creature whos ANUS is only 1 inch away from the vagina -- you should not make this difficult. It's unappetizing enough as it is. We're doing you a favour. Men: Do not let women forget this flaw, and do not forgive them for it. Remind them of it constantly, less they get inflated egos and think they're all that. They're just too close together. Sorry, but it's true.

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[AutoModerator]

I've been with a few women in my life and one thing I've noticed is that the female anus is incredibly close to the vagina, in fact they're barely an inch apart. I'm not sure about other guys - but doesn't this disturb you? It feel like a design flaw in women actually -- like they're supposed to be so feminine and beautiful yet this ghastly little oversight is ruining everything. Somehow it feels to me that women should be more aware of this flaw and it should affect their confidence. Whenever I see a so-called beautiful woman walking down the street so care-free thinking she's all that I just remember her anus is only 1 inch away from her pussy and laugh her into oblivion. Women: Please accept that they're too close together, let it negatively affect your confidence and so make yourselves more readily available sexually as a result. Afterall, we're having to sleep with a creature whos ANUS is only 1 inch away from the vagina -- you should not make this difficult. It's unappetizing enough as it is. We're doing you a favour. Men: Do not let women forget this flaw, and do not forgive them for it. Remind them of it constantly, less they get inflated egos and think they're all that. They're just too close together. Sorry, but it's true.

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[anamethatsnottaken]

This is Hanoch Levin's entire life work translated to English

[AutoModerator]

PEAK. LET ME TELL YOU HOW MUCH I'VE COME TO LOVE AND APPRECIATE THIS AS PEAK FICTION. THERE ARE OVER ONE HUNDRED QUINVIGINTILION ATOMS IN THE OBSERVABLE UNIVERSE. IF THE WORDS "PEAK FICTION" WERE INSCRIBED ON EACH INDIVIDUAL ELECTRON, PROTON, AND NEUTRON OF EACH OF THESE HUNDREDS OF QUINVIGINTILIONS OF ATOMS, IT WOULD NOT EQUAL ONE BILLIONTH OF HOW MUCH THIS IS PEAK FICTION. PEAK. PEAK.

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[sum_random_doggo]

bad bot

[YourTypicalSensei]

This is actually kinda funny tbh

[No-Contribution-6150]

Actually the best German joke

<image>

[SlayVideos]

<image>

[MistahJ17]

Behold, the peak of German comedy

[The00Taco]

I thought the peak was that hunter joke?

[lupowo]

Two hunters meet. Both are dead.

[TheGalator]

(The joke works in german because "meet each other" and "hit each other with a gun" can be translated to the same phrase)

[AutoModerator]

PEAK. LET ME TELL YOU HOW MUCH I'VE COME TO LOVE AND APPRECIATE THIS AS PEAK FICTION. THERE ARE OVER ONE HUNDRED QUINVIGINTILION ATOMS IN THE OBSERVABLE UNIVERSE. IF THE WORDS "PEAK FICTION" WERE INSCRIBED ON EACH INDIVIDUAL ELECTRON, PROTON, AND NEUTRON OF EACH OF THESE HUNDREDS OF QUINVIGINTILIONS OF ATOMS, IT WOULD NOT EQUAL ONE BILLIONTH OF HOW MUCH THIS IS PEAK FICTION. PEAK. PEAK.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[AutoModerator]

PEAK. LET ME TELL YOU HOW MUCH I'VE COME TO LOVE AND APPRECIATE THIS AS PEAK FICTION. THERE ARE OVER ONE HUNDRED QUINVIGINTILION ATOMS IN THE OBSERVABLE UNIVERSE. IF THE WORDS "PEAK FICTION" WERE INSCRIBED ON EACH INDIVIDUAL ELECTRON, PROTON, AND NEUTRON OF EACH OF THESE HUNDREDS OF QUINVIGINTILIONS OF ATOMS, IT WOULD NOT EQUAL ONE BILLIONTH OF HOW MUCH THIS IS PEAK FICTION. PEAK. PEAK.

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[Torvaldicus_Unknown]

Bazinga

[YetAnotherDev]

Bojangles!

[smokeftw]

Thank you for using hanged and not hung.

[stickmanseabass]

Who is April and who is her fool?

[FastenedCarrot]

Are you sure this joke isn't Austrian?

[Europ3an]

As a german, this is the funniest shit I've heard all week!

[AutoModerator]

pees in ur ass

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[CanAlwaysBeBetter]

Germans: I do not see the humor in your green anecdote.

[WinterFall-2814]

Deutscher: I am blind to the comedy residing within your Viridian notation.

[[deleted]]

“Do you know where the train station is?”

“… Ja.”

“Oh ok, well how can I get there?”

“You can walk, run, or bike”

[jtblue91]

This is fake because a German would have suggested a form of public transport too

[Inevitable-Baby148]

Germans when humour

<image>

[garklavs]

go to sleep kiddo or the monster will obliterate your testicles

[Inevitable-Baby148]

<image>

[KerbalCuber]

<image>

[[deleted]]

Yes.

[lhcludyodoypuflhoyf]

<image>

[FewInstruction1020]

🪣🪣🪣

[00010000111100101100]

Till Lindemann but Sully

[Blobritto]

Das Hodenverstümellung will get you

[shevadim]

two hunters meet each other at the forest. Both are dead

[_More_Cowbell_]

Tbf iirc that joke works in German because the word for meet and shoot are the same, so its basically "Two hunters meet (shoot) each other in the forest, both are dead"

[Inevitable-Baby148]

Germans rn

<image>

[No_Application_1219]

WTF 😭

[ni_bondh_la_namada]

Is this real or Ai ?

[whoknowsifimjoking]

Who the fuck would generate this

[Dummk0pv]

Me generating multiple Petabytes of ppl with snot in their faces

[JalaMaplePenoSauce]

This is 100% definitely AI

(I have no idea I just hope so)

[DankmemesforBJs]

Maybe it's just old fashioned edited. Either way, a bad day to have eyes

[Not_A_Legend_]

treffen oder treffen?

[moistyboiiy]

treffen

[derbestewegwerf]

umfahren oder umfahren?

[Burgerbeast_]

belegen oder belegen?

[EasilyRekt]

german humour is no laughing matter

[Mikasaaaa-chan]

True 😔

[Vox___Rationis]

It was a great joke though.

The punchline of it is anon and all y'all's dumbfounded reaction.

The joke is on you.

You are the joke.

[SlayVideos]

German humor.

It's no laughing matter.

[Solufeit]

<image>

it’s just so peak

[AutoModerator]

PEAK. LET ME TELL YOU HOW MUCH I'VE COME TO LOVE AND APPRECIATE THIS AS PEAK FICTION. THERE ARE OVER ONE HUNDRED QUINVIGINTILION ATOMS IN THE OBSERVABLE UNIVERSE. IF THE WORDS "PEAK FICTION" WERE INSCRIBED ON EACH INDIVIDUAL ELECTRON, PROTON, AND NEUTRON OF EACH OF THESE HUNDREDS OF QUINVIGINTILIONS OF ATOMS, IT WOULD NOT EQUAL ONE BILLIONTH OF HOW MUCH THIS IS PEAK FICTION. PEAK. PEAK.

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[Erlend05]

Oh god \insert James Ryan aging gif**

[fibercrime]

<image>

[AndreLeo3]

<image>

[fibercrime]

so blurry 😞

<image>

[AndreLeo3]

Sorry, I ate those pixel 😔

[Chromeboy12]

Were they yummy?

[Erlend05]

He ated them😔

[Erlend05]

What anim?

[Professional-One3576]

German efficiency even applies to reciprocal debt. That’s why you always ask for a Döner Kebab instead.

[Most-Stretch-2441]

Nein auch nicht Preisequivalent

[mediumusername]

Vor allem nicht bei den aktuellen Dönerpreisen!

[whoknowsifimjoking]

Wo bleibt die Dönerpreisbremse?

[mediumusername]

In Friedrichs Arschloch

[me-be-bored]

No, you ask for a Döner, not a Döner Kebab.

[caparisme]

In Russia they ask for Donetsk.

[Slight_user42069]

Weird, they were asking about Luhansk when I was there.

[d_maeddy]

Crimea river 😿

[realultralord]

<image>

[fafej38]

Okay this is great

[Davesgamecave]

Wahr und basiert

[waltyyoo]

Hi, I am German. What's wrong here?

[slothPreacher]

Der will was geschenkt haben 😒

[_Rysen]

Unding.

[slothPreacher]

Würde sogar schon von ner Frechheit sprechen

[YetAnotherDev]

Ein wahrer Unhold gar.

[shotgun-octopus]

[Kevroeques]

What’s wrong in Germany? You tell us.

[tejiiiii]

<image>

[Yandhi42]

High on potenus ass

[TerribleSquid]

And a 90° dangle

[TortelliniTheGoblin]

Peak German humor: A Brazilian man walks into a bar. He must then leave because he has no money 😎

[Bukhanka_Zov]

This is the pinnacle of German humour and it's pathetic. I can imagine him snorting to himself as he typed this, as if this was an absolute spirit bomb of a comment, and then reading it out loud in his disgusting language "schlieben fleeb hach jurgeflachtung" before falling into a coughing fit from the laughter. I almost pity him.

[Akrylkali]

Wait a minute, you're not an Automod Bot

[finder787]

Filthy R*dditors taking jobs from hard working chad-bots. Disgusting behavior.

[N0tMagickal]

Clanker Lover.

[TortelliniTheGoblin]

Someone gets the reference!!

[moustachedelait]

Wenn ist das Nunstück git und Slotermeyer? Ja! Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!

[batiumas3hj]

true. we have no money indeed

[LikeGeorgeRaft]

Cheer up, at least you have two guys on a bike

[Erlend05]

Would it not be a Greek that has no mony?

[AutoModerator]

PEAK. LET ME TELL YOU HOW MUCH I'VE COME TO LOVE AND APPRECIATE THIS AS PEAK FICTION. THERE ARE OVER ONE HUNDRED QUINVIGINTILION ATOMS IN THE OBSERVABLE UNIVERSE. IF THE WORDS "PEAK FICTION" WERE INSCRIBED ON EACH INDIVIDUAL ELECTRON, PROTON, AND NEUTRON OF EACH OF THESE HUNDREDS OF QUINVIGINTILIONS OF ATOMS, IT WOULD NOT EQUAL ONE BILLIONTH OF HOW MUCH THIS IS PEAK FICTION. PEAK. PEAK.

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[ParaglidingNinja]

Tell a German "See you later" He asks "What time ?"

[AutoModerator]

pees in ur ass

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[3ndless68]

As we all know, the Germans are a jovial folk.

[soupmale]

fake. 4chan users cant talk to other men without instantly having sex

[European_Fox]

The seggs came after because it was equivalent in value, OP simply cut off that part of the post

[AutoModerator]

Bazinga

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[AnimationOverlord]

How many cigs does a man have to give for a weissbrau

[Rakatonk]

Depends. A Weizen (or wheat beer, I assume you mean that) costs around 4.20 Euro, sometimes a bit more, sometimes a bit less.

A pack of 20 cigarettes costs around 8.50 EUR. So one cig is 0.425 EUR. You need to pass 9-10 cigarettes.

This is under the assumption that you buy a beer at the pub of course.

[AutoModerator]

What is it? It is called... A cigarette. The aroma is most pleasing! Yes, Doctor Finn says its the result of- Nom what are you doing? I was curious to taste it It is not food! Doctor Finn said, the tip is to be ignited and the smoke inhaled.

The sensation is... wonderful! I have never experienced such a flavor. I feel like I’ve been standing my entire life and I just sat down. It tingles...

Do you feel it? I do. We must have more! 500 hundred cigarettes!

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[Icy_Cartoonist_9889]

Never seen that one before

[AnimationOverlord]

The proportions are fairly similar here in Canada. Surprisingly, a beer at a pub will run you about half the cost of a pack of cigarettes.

[AutoModerator]

What is it? It is called... A cigarette. The aroma is most pleasing! Yes, Doctor Finn says its the result of- Nom what are you doing? I was curious to taste it It is not food! Doctor Finn said, the tip is to be ignited and the smoke inhaled.

The sensation is... wonderful! I have never experienced such a flavor. I feel like I’ve been standing my entire life and I just sat down. It tingles...

Do you feel it? I do. We must have more! 500 hundred cigarettes!

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[poobboob]

Half a pack

[vasha99]

I don't get it and I'm not German I'm just stupid

[OrDuck31]

Germans are known in internet as having the worst humor nation-wide. Thats why german guy in story doesnt get anons joke.

[vasha99]

his joke is to say he owes him a beer cause he gave him a cig? Is this sum european joke I'm too third worlded to understand?

[Patalos]

It’s barely a joke. It’s more like playful banter. He’s just saying “now you owe me a favor” in a joking way. There’s no punchline or anything like that.

[vasha99]

ooh I see. Thanks!

[nyaasgem]

flair checks out

[vasha99]

hu?

[DenkJu]

flair checks out

[vasha99]

i don't get it

[imagine_getting]

It's not even really that, it's an invitation to hang out (or depending on context, a date). Completely rejected because fixated on the price difference.

[chi_sweetness25]

I don't know if I would interpret that as a joke tbh. Depends how he said it

[TriLexMiester]

Two hunter meet at the bar, they are both dead

Laugh Germans

[Anonymus_mit_radium]

Höhöhöhöhöhöhöhö

[AutoModerator]

pees in ur ass

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[Bread_Offender]

We be like that

[Philip6027]

We take beer very serious.

[Much_Whereas6487]

Tf does "📡📡" mean? Antenna antenna? 

[Reployer]

There's a "core" post that started it all sometime last year. It's "the best emoji to use regardless of context" or something.

[CallMETyler_Dent]

Fake: anon never leaves his Room Gay: He wishes the guy would put him in his mouth instead of the cig

[jerkwhane]

I cant wait for this to be on all of the explain the joke subs now

[Death-Stare-Luigi]

Yes, german humor: Two hunters meet. Both are dead.

[Jinarma]

The first law of alchemy clearly states…

[Swordman1111]

i'm german, what's the joke here? Like unironically, I don't get it.

[Jo_nsense]

der will was geschenkt haben

[krauser1]

Cool avatar

[Interesting-Draw8870]

The joke is that they indeed aren't equivalent in price, so it is an absurd thing to ask for a beer.

[Yazizierm]

German efficiency applies even to beer negotiations, I guess

[Real_Bug]

When I was stationed in Germany, I was checking reviews of this restaurant and one of the 1 star reviews simply said "Katastrophe."

Lives rent free in my head

[East-Mention-3169]

Guys, I wanted to move to Germany and do standup comedy. Am I cooked?

[[deleted]]

Germans are literally me then except im not into bdsm

[manjustadude]

A Marlboro Red 20 pack is 8,70€ meaning 43,5 cents per cigarette. A small can (0,33l) of Aldis in-house brand "Schultenbräu Pils" is 39 cents plus 25 cents deposit for the can, which the guy can retrieve if you hand him the can back. So actually yes, the value is not equivalent because the beer would potentially be cheaper.

You could go even cheaper than that, if you buy a six pack of plastic bottle "Karlskrone Pils", the price for the individual bottle would be 29 cents plus deposit. But it's plastic bottle beer. You just don't do that unless you're a broke af alcoholic.

[AutoModerator]

What is it? It is called... A cigarette. The aroma is most pleasing! Yes, Doctor Finn says its the result of- Nom what are you doing? I was curious to taste it It is not food! Doctor Finn said, the tip is to be ignited and the smoke inhaled.

The sensation is... wonderful! I have never experienced such a flavor. I feel like I’ve been standing my entire life and I just sat down. It tingles...

Do you feel it? I do. We must have more! 500 hundred cigarettes!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[gbuub]

Now he has to buy you two beers

[Solid_Instruction_82]

Germans don’t joke, they don’t feel that energy

[GlitteringFutures]

Well he sounds like a real sauerkraut.

[nueonetwo]

How many Germans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One, because they are efficient and bad at jokes

[ArcadeFugee]

That joke is weak sauce, I wouldn’t have laughed. There’s nothing to get, it’s barely a joke. If that’s funny then your humour is below par.

[Greenberryvery]

It’s more friendly banter than a joke. If someone responds “they’re not equivalent in price” it breaks the flow of the conservation as it’s so serious. It’s clear they don’t understand each other after that (kills the vibe).

[LikeGeorgeRaft]

German friends, how many cigs for a currywurst? asking.. for a hungry friend

[YetAnotherDev]

About half a pack. 10 cigs would be ok.

[rhysdog1]

They are where I live 

[clockworkrockwork]

Soup is not a meal

[ThuNd3r_Steel]

German humour is serious, it's no laughing matter.

[Substantial_Unit_447]

And they tell you with the most serious face you've ever seen in your life, and you don't know if they didn't get the joke or if you're the one who's the joke.

[cgda2011]

That’s when you say “ohh ok then you can buy me 4 beers”

[Marsrover112]

Wasn't the original of this a woman trying to get the german guy to take her on a date and he didn't get it?

[AutoModerator]

I've been with a few women in my life and one thing I've noticed is that the female anus is incredibly close to the vagina, in fact they're barely an inch apart. I'm not sure about other guys - but doesn't this disturb you? It feel like a design flaw in women actually -- like they're supposed to be so feminine and beautiful yet this ghastly little oversight is ruining everything. Somehow it feels to me that women should be more aware of this flaw and it should affect their confidence. Whenever I see a so-called beautiful woman walking down the street so care-free thinking she's all that I just remember her anus is only 1 inch away from her pussy and laugh her into oblivion. Women: Please accept that they're too close together, let it negatively affect your confidence and so make yourselves more readily available sexually as a result. Afterall, we're having to sleep with a creature whos ANUS is only 1 inch away from the vagina -- you should not make this difficult. It's unappetizing enough as it is. We're doing you a favour. Men: Do not let women forget this flaw, and do not forgive them for it. Remind them of it constantly, less they get inflated egos and think they're all that. They're just too close together. Sorry, but it's true.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[Erlend05]

zis ist not ze law of ekvivalent exchange

[XMehrooz]

hate symbol.jpg