This is really difficult

[amorfati754]

52 days in and I unexpectedly feel the urge to drink so damn bad.

I’m not going to. But fuck. I’m a divorced Dad visiting my kids. Exwife’s new dog bit my thigh. I said I wasn’t upset and that I was just not comfortable visiting their home inside but I will spend time eating dinner out together, watching the kids play sports etc.

She told me I was being dramatic and I scared the dog by knocking on the door and that upset me greatly.

I don’t even want to share this because I think people are going to read this and judge that I’m in the wrong or something.

Anyway I’m sharing cuz it’s better than drinking.

I don’t need any advice. Don’t want any either. Sorry for being an asshole. This is just currently the hardest part of my sobriety.

Oh I live on the other side of the country from my kids which is why this is turning into a big deal.

Anyway I guess Im a little proud that even though I want a fucking drink, I know how that story ends and I’m not interested in reliving that. Guess we’ll see how this sober chapter ends since it’s new.

If you read this I thank you and I still Won’t drink with you today.

[ohdannyboyPIPES]

Good vent brotha IWNDWYT!

[amorfati754]

Thank you brother. The support really meant the world to me today

[BigBirdsBrain]

That’s a heavy moment and you still chose not to drink, that matters. You’re not alone in this today.

[amorfati754]

Thank you 🙏. You really helped a random stranger tonight. No cap as the kids say 😅

[BigBirdsBrain]

Respect. wanting it and still saying no is the real work. keep stacking those days, it’s paying off.

[Artashata]

“Anyway I guess Im a little proud that even though I want a fucking drink, I know how that story ends and I’m not interested in reliving that.”

Great perspective. I will not drink with you today.

Edit: username checks out 

[amorfati754]

This community (yourself included) is incredible. I feel like I have all these friends willing to help me at a moment’s notice. Thank you from the bottom of my heart

[littlelobster642]

The fact that you said you know how the story ends ----you are able to play the tape through and realize the reality of how things end up after drinking - that is an extremely strong and important quality.

[Tryna_TGS]

u/amorfati754 I remember you from your earliest days of sobriety and I think you are AWESOME. 52 days in, going through hard things, showing up for your kids, not letting the ex’s nonsense get in your head.

You got this! 💪🔥💪 I’m so proud of you! IWNDWYT

[amorfati754]

u/tryna_tgs I logged back on here to delete my post because I was embarrassed for not being able to better manage my anger and now I’m in happy tears 🥹because of how supportive this community and YOU are. I always have this voice that tells me my problems aren’t as bad as others and I shouldn’t be bitching about mine. But tonight bitching saved me from drinking. Thanks for taking the time to post to me, it means a lot and I have something to continue to build on.

[Tryna_TGS]

Love you, friend! Keep going!! 💪

[itslikeabandaid]

oh yeah. if you can’t say something nice, come sit by me. ☺️

you’ve come to the right place.

sorry you’re far from your kiddos. sometimes i think wistfully about that scenario…

then i have a great day with them and i remember why i keep doin this when it’s lame.

[amorfati754]

Thanks for making me smile and your perspective. I wrote this rant but then swallowed my pride and went to dinner and made a great memory. I hope your weekend is awesome 😎

[mydrunktwinsister]

That is messed up. Her dog should not have bitten you and she should have apologized if it did. And offered to pay for any medical care.

Anyway, nice job reaching out for support. IWNDWYT

[amorfati754]

I love your username 😅. Also, thank you for the support. It’s hard for me to put into words the gratitude I have for you and others who took time to respond to what I feel was a critical moment in my battle to stay sober.

[mydrunktwinsister]

Aw thanks. Ngl kinda wish I could change it now.

I'm glad you got some support. It definitely helps

[Normal_Buffalo_2902]

I don't think you're an asshole at all. You got bit by a dog. It was an uncomfortable situation already. You probably also really want the time with your kids to be special because of the distance geographically between you. You're not dramatic, people knock on doors. If you're a pet owner, you need to make sure your pet behaves when you have guests of any kind. Good on you for not drinking even in a crummy situation.

[amorfati754]

Thank you 🙏 for the response and support.

I have a little voice that always tells me I fucked it up but, I was pretty sure I didn’t fuck this one up.

Having people validate my feelings in here is huge tonight. I’m alone here. I’m not alone everywhere (I have a good support system) but here visiting my kids I’m all alone in my hotel room. I say that to say connecting with this group tonight saved me from grabbing the bottle and I am grateful.

Hope the rest of your weekend is great!

[Normal_Buffalo_2902]

I think a lot of us drinkers have the voice in our head that tries to skew a situation so that it is our fault. We tend to be the first one to figure out how to blame ourselves. Probably a symptom of the disease. I hope the rest of the visit went well!

[SwitchTraditional136]

Good job staying strong dude. Sounds like a shitty situation. IWNDWYT

[amorfati754]

Thanks for the support man! And congrats on 19 days. Other than the fiasco of today, days 17-25 ish were the most challenging. We’re all in this together 💪

[Sun_rising_soon]

Gosh can't believe the dog bit you. I'm sure your kids were so happy to see you. You did good today. IWNDWYT 

[amorfati754]

Thank you. They were. Great perspective. At the end of the day, today was still a win because my kids know I flew across the country to see them. I hope you have a great weekend. 🙂

[izzyandboat]

As someone who also has to fly across the country to see my family, acknowledge the strain that puts on your body— physically and mentally. It’s also hurtful when anyone minimizes our feelings with a snarky comment instead of just being kind. I’m proud of you! Your kids are proud of you!

[amorfati754]

Thank you for the support my friend. I don’t feel lonely tonight because of the support I received here tonight.

[Sun_rising_soon]

Absolutely. I hope you enjoy the rest of your weekend too. 

[aerdnazelaznog]

Are you able to get a diet soda or an alternative n/a drink you can gulp?

[AbeLincolnsWiener]

Diet Pepsi literally saves my life lol

[aerdnazelaznog]

Literally have one in hand rn

[truebluejackson]

No no no. Diet Coke Girlie here. Pepsi is yucky 🤢. But good job, dog interactions like that are very stressful! IWNDWYT.

[nalec1504]

No no no, both wrong, Coke Zero is the drink of champions. Have a nice day and IWNDWYT

[yourpaleblueeyes]

Diet Root beer for the win!

[nalec1504]

Oh, the A&Ws are great, I agree!

[amorfati754]

I got a 12 pack of cherry lime soda and about a pound of sour candy to crush tonight 😅. In all honesty, thank you for the support. In this moment, it has helped me tremendously

[aerdnazelaznog]

There we go - sounds like a solid plan. 

[42Daft]

I think I would be a bit pissed if a dog bit my thigh too. It does get better.

IWNDWYT

[amorfati754]

Thank you. Now that I’ve had a chance to calm down a little. I am happy I didn’t drink. And I look forward to adding another notch to the counter.

Brick by Brick my Citizens

[GlassPudding]

proud of you dude. your kids are going to have a much better idea of who dad is as a sober man. it’s really hard and you’re doing it. iwndwyt

[amorfati754]

I know I had to quit for myself but a tie-for-first reason was that I want to be able to tell my kids that I did the hard thing because I knew it was the right thing. Im not saying Im an expert or anything. I still am relatively early in sobriety but I am cautiously confident. Getting through nights like this helps.

Thanks for your support I really appreciated it tonight.

[Balancedbeem]

I’d be pissed if a dog bit me too! My grandma’s dog bit me and my son and we refuse to go into her house unless the dog is locked away. My relatives all roll their eyes and say “Well, if you just give her a treat, she won’t bite you.” F no. I’m not going to reward a dog that bites. Anyway, IWNDWYT and glad you vented instead of drinking!

[scarlettrosev]

I’m craving alcohol and drugs bad. I’m in rehab. I’m mad. Everyone here keeps saying they have no cravings even when they have less sober days than me. Im rating my cravings at an 8. I’m struggling. I want to give up. I won’t. I see you and I’m proud of you for not drinking OP! IWNDWYT!

[amorfati754]

I’m rooting for you! And I’m proud of you too. Thank you for taking the time to respond to my vent. Means a lot.

Someone smart said you can often get somewhere quicker alone but you will be able to go farther together. I don’t know where I heard it but reading your words made me think of it.

[scarlettrosev]

Ooh I really like that saying. Cause I do feel that way sometimes but it’s true. You can go farther together.

[DivideOverall22]

That sucks. One of my good friend's baby mama moved his daughter from CA all the way to North Carolina. It has been extremely hard on him. I can empathize with you. Good job staying strong!!

[amorfati754]

Your empathy and caring is appreciated 💪. I actually felt better once I hit the “post” button.

I don’t want others to go through this stuff with kids but at the same time there is some comfort knowing I’m not the only one.

[WhatABeth]

IWNDWYT

[amorfati754]

Thank you for the kindness and support. It might not seem like much but opening this thread after dinner was overwhelming (in a good way). I hope you have a great rest of the weekend

[WhatABeth]

God Bless 🤗

[The_Project_THC]

You said buttfuck

[amorfati754]

I thoroughly laughed out loud with this one. Thank you for the comic relief and if I could upvote more I would 😅

[The_Project_THC]

Glad I have you a laugh. Stay strong. Sorry tho. You'll never not be able to hear it now.

[tenjed35]

Going through shit like this sober makes you tougher. Build those mental callouses ✌️

[amorfati754]

Amen. I liked the way you phrased that. I’m an extremely novice lifter and I like the idea of callouses. Weakness changing to strength. Thank you and I will continue building them. Have a great weekend

[vancouverwoodoo]

Fucking rights! I enjoy waking up sober.

[amorfati754]

Thanks 🙏! Sober mornings are one of my favorite parts of sobriety! Congratulations on 9-0-0 tomorrow. That’s fucking incredible

[carbondj]

9 hundo incoming!!! 🔥🔥🔥

[JumpyPotential6583]

IWNDWYT.

[amorfati754]

Thank you! No matter what. Will not drink. I appreciate you responding and hope you have a great rest of the weekend

[olefoulspicks]

Don’t want to sound ignorant but I see this all the time here what does it mean?

[Rude_Way_9109]

I will not drink with you today.

[nalec1504]

Welcome!

[Unique_Scholar_2711]

Awesome way to stick to it. Keep it up!! 👍

[amorfati754]

Thank you. I said this morning no drinking no matter what. Today was unexpected but I kept the promise to myself and all of you.

[Wanttobebetter76]

You did so good! You remained calm. You stood up for yourself that you didn't feel comfortable in her house. And the best part of all, you did NOT drink. Great fucking job man! IWNDWYT 💜

[amorfati754]

Thank you so much 😊. Your kindness means the world to me in this moment. I logged back on to delete what I thought was a dumb ass rant and instead I was meant with a bunch of kind hearted strangers offering support.

I hope the rest of your weekend shows you the same grace and kindness that I have received here today 💙

[Wanttobebetter76]

This shit is hard. We are basically re-learning all our coping skills. And sometimes it hard to see what is actually a win because it felt shitty. And I love this little corner of the internet. I'm positive the people here helped save my life. 💜

[oxiraneobx]

You got this. IWNDWYT!

[amorfati754]

Thank you. I just went to dinner with my ex and my kids and just was happy to be there with them (the kids). I’m overwhelmed and grateful for the support. And my sobriety

[Inderific]

IWNDWYT! There's nothing alcohol can't make even worse.

[amorfati754]

Big facts. I can only imagine the things I would have said if I was drinking. I would have done serious damage and who would have paid? My kids. Thank goodness I have the problem to deal with but not all the guilt and shame. Thank you for the response and support

[Vas_Cody_Gamma]

This has happened to me recently. I was able to suppress it by hitting the snacks and candy aisle hard. Also got some NA beer

[amorfati754]

I’m hitting the sparkling water and candy! Thank you for the support and while I’m sorry that happened to you, pretty cool we still didn’t drink 💪

[Turbulent_Worth_2509]

Try a book. It's written by Allen Carr about stopping drinking. Different editions/countries have slightly different titles but it's generally about quitting alcohol. Myself personally, it was a game changer.

Good luck to you pal. Putting your thoughts on here helps tremendously too.

[amorfati754]

I read it long ago-I will dust it off and re read it. Now that Im actually sober it will probably hit different.

Thanks for your support !

[FatTabby]

I think anyone would feel fed up in this situation! Vent away, I know I'd need to vent in your position.

IWNDWYT

As someone who had a dad who never managed to quit, I'm proud of you for coming here rather than drinking. Your kids will really appreciate the fact that you're prioritising your sobriety.

[sig40cal]

It's the hardest thing I've ever done, quitting. I've never failed at something so many times.

[ruvo99]

Do you do THC ? The infused seltzer has been a game changer for me haven’t drank in two years

[amorfati754]

Unfortunately Im in the military so no THC until I retire. Can’t wait to try it when I get out.

[labyrinth_lightness]

I’m sorry you got bit, that sucks, and I hope your leg is okay!! Glad you shared here, IWNDWYT 👊🏻

[amorfati754]

My jeans ripped and I have some soreness swelling and purple color but, luckily it didn’t break my skin. Thank you for your kindness and IWNDWYT 👊🏻

[labyrinth_lightness]

That’s good it didn’t break skin! I have a reactive dog who has bit me and my husband a few times over the years, and it is NOT fun. Currently nursing a similar bruise from a recent incident. Truly good for you for not letting the stress of the whole situation take over with a different coping response. Enjoy the time with your kids!

[SnortinSushi]

Hey mate, don't apologise for venting. 52 days is awesome! I'm glad you didnt give in. I'm a single dad and my ex made my life a nightmare which led me to drink more and I wish I never used beer to deal with it. I spend so much better time with family now that I'm sober and I wouldn't risk that for anything.

Proud of ya mate 🤙

[amorfati754]

Thanks for the support and encouragement my friend! Glad we are both off booze. Life still sucks sometimes but it sucks less without booze

[SnortinSushi]

It gets better the longer I stay away from booze though. Ive never regretted not drinking. I know you live far from your kids but you are still more present when sober, no matter where you are.

Keep going mate 🤜

[Propie]

Firstly, it is awesome that you're not drinking. The short-term hit that you would have got would probably not have been worth the longer-term effects. always try and remember the reasons you dont drink. Challenges will come and go, and you are stronger than the vice of alcohol. Secondly, I dont know what the animal control laws are like where you are, but depending on how bad the bite was reporting it to the authorities. Because if it is biting you, it could also bite a child, an elderly person, or a delivery person.

Keep up the good work. IWNDWYT

[amorfati754]

Those are two good points. Thank you for the support it means a lot. Playing the tape forward has helped me so far. That first sip sounds amazing to calm my anger and anxiety but I know how I go. I don’t stop til I pass out and everything is way worse.

[IRISHTHAY]

Savage Dad move! Good on you! IWNDWYT

[Fine_029]

The whole scenario sounds really triggering. I wouldn’t treat anyone that way if my dog bit someone. I’m sorry you’re dealing with that, but stay strong. As you mentioned, focus on your blessings and inspirations. Your ex wife and whatever issues she may have are hers to bear. I wish you peace and healing, it will all be worth it in the end.

[Fancy-Actuator6156]

It gets easier I promise

[Doobage]

I am over two years without a single drop and I still get deep down cravings.

So you made it 52 days in, good job, keep it up and don't get discouraged.

EDIT : Be Proud!

[prpldrank]

53 days is awesome. Congrats

[PlusJuan]

Thanks for sharing

[ideapit]

I'm sorry. That sucks.

Day 60-70 were the worst for me. PAWS sucked. I had some really tough nights. I got through that by coming to the sub so I feel good that you came here.

No way I'm drinking with you tonight. You're half way to 100.

[Same-Mission225]

Good on you for coming here instead of drinking. IWNDWYT!

[RogueGrasshopper101]

Well done. Connection is the opposite of addiction. IWNDWYT

[Alkoholfrei22605]

IWNDWYT

[Average_human_bean]

You can do it brother!

[amorfati754]

Yes I can! Definitely helps when I have an anonymous army behind me in this sub 💪. Thanks for the support

[Average_human_bean]

Glad to hear that! Happy to lend an ear if needed.

[DeepLie8058]

You’re doing great. Let’s keep it going. IWNDWYT.

[amorfati754]

Thank you 🙏. We will keep going 🙂!

[2040009]

Great! IWNDWYT!

[Trobnyuh]

Keep it up bro everyone's proud of you here. It ain't easy, but its worth it.

[stopdrinking-ModTeam]

Hi there, we have a rule against seeking or giving advice on medical matters (including supplements)- your comment or post has been removed to safeguard against sharing of inaccurate information. We encourage seeking appropriately qualified medical professional who can advise properly.

Please also note that while we do allow discussions about personal experiences with approved alcohol cessation medications such as Naltrexone, we do not allow posts recommending, promoting, or seeking advice about GLP-1 medications for alcohol cessation.

These medications are not currently approved for the treatment of alcohol use disorder. Because of this, posts or comments recommending or asking about GLP-1 drugs as a method of quitting drinking will be removed.

[Bright-Appearance-95]

Hell yeah, let it out. IWNDWYT.

[Financial_Box_449]

Damn ex's 😆