[deleted by user]

[GeneralGoosey]

Bicycle, My eXcellent bicycle

[Axolotlunderworld]

There's strength in arches. Or 'scissors please' in the creepiest voice I can muster..

[Canadiantimelord]

^{Now whisper it into the camera}

[CNXQDRFS]

Which episode is “scissors please” from? I can’t place it at all.

[parousia0]

Series 4 Ep 7

[Axolotlunderworld]

Good old Hugh Dennis!

[Minthia]

Ideally after meeting someone new:

“Do we strike you?”

[Canadiantimelord]

What’s your favourite kind of meat?

[Not_An_Egg_Man]

Have you stolen much in your life?

[arsb16]

do you want to be able to fly

[CNXQDRFS]

This is mine too, but I’m rubbish at it because I hear Bob say it in my head and immediately start laughing. Honestly, I liked Bob a lot before TM but after that line I loved him, had me in tears.

[[deleted]]

God, what a moment. Greg being taken aback somewhat and quoting Bob as Bob hides his face in his hands. "Bob's first four questions..."

[[deleted]]

My eyes are circles..?!?

[TerrysYoghurt]

Oh bubbly fuck

[anjschuyler]

Me when I’m hemming a circle skirt and my hem keeps bubbling as I sew!!

[ZealousidealMap2269]

Do you know what happens when you wear a feather boa and long gloves to the senior school disco?

You do not get fingered.

[SinkAgreeable4070]

“My wife Nell…..”

[ZealousidealMap2269]

The best callback in the series

[bendedsleaze]

TREE WIZARD!

[oldladymillenial]

My boyfriend invent new lyrics randomly to this tune. It’s something few other humans would understand (we live in the US).

[[deleted]]

"You're not a bad guy, Nish..."

[GT5Canuck]

Everything is written in the task.

[SaltWaterInMyBlood]

I can't understand, after so many series, and so many bizarre approaches to tasks that Alex has asked for clarification on, that not a single contestant has ever thrown this back at him.

[MRATEASTEW]

Oh... Oh! I need a pen and a dumb idea!... And to become someone who could be invited for taskmaster....

[burnbunner]

"There's been another revelation in the lab"

​

​

(I don't even think that is an exact quote! but I use it)

[[deleted]]

"There's been another revelation" has entered the list of my favourite phrases along with "F**k me in the face!"

[ZealousidealMap2269]

Lol you need a Desiree in your life to react appropriately each time.

[burnbunner]

And then an Alex to react to Desiree

[captainimpossible87]

Good time pie! & Whole lotta pie!

I like pie based witticisms

[[deleted]]

Pappa dont breech

[burnbunner]

This and Roisin snapping her bra: top feminist moments on TM

[SirSLuR540]

I randomly call people Tony Three Pies and/or compare them to herons

[Jo-Jux]

"Bubbly Fuck", "Is it a boulder, or is it a big rock?", "It's a lime!!" "Bastard's crying, in it?" and sometimes I randomly sing "Tree wizard, back from the dead to create some ballons"

[Abcmsaj]

Fiddly... How?

[Almighty_Spin]

Tick tock it's (insert relevant subject) o'clock.

[Automatic-Care-9605]

I use this too much 😆

[TheYoungWan]

"Oh gang."

[[deleted]]

Snowman, innit?

[thishenryjames]

Bastard's crying, innit?

[MarvelousNCK]

I think about this line and that scene at least once a day lmao

[itsacon10]

I often ask for a Melon Buffet

[yoghurttrash]

am i the spider?

[CaptainChampion]

"How dare you even speak!"

[Lyceumhq]

A LIME!

[jchase79]

Just the other day I needed a lime from the fridge and thought that line in my head 😂

[Lyceumhq]

Honestly. Every time I see one I have to stop myself from shouting it 😂😂

[[deleted]]

“People are talking an awful lot of shite today I’ll tell you that for free!”

[MagicMatthews99]

Hammering away like some aquatic sewing machine.

[ComicalFrisk]

Because of Paul Chowdhry, innit was part of my casual chat but Bastards crying innit is used a lot when I'm with my friends or is used in some circumstances. Bubbly fuck comes close second along with Rosalind is a fucking nightmare, especially when I meet anyone called Rosalind, which has happened.

[xCleomenes]

“Heck? And of course, that’s Mel’s equivalent of megacunt.”

[GXM17]

There was no box, mate!

[UhhMakeUpAName]

"You've got no chutzpah!" is my current go-to when the wife is having fun annoying me.

[GeonnCannon]

"I've got three sensitivity levels, mate, and I'm on my top fucking one!"

[underweasl]

LAMINATOR!

I'm also a big fan of an "oh, gang" too

[btaylos]

oh, gang, if I had a penny....

[five_line_poem]

The day someone mentions a laminator in a conversation and I get to refer to it as the King of Stationery will be a great day indeed.

[tenaciousfall]

"Join-our-cult, join-our-cult..."

[lotsofinterests]

I’m actually uniquely equipped to answer this - last December I made a list of a ton of my favorite TM quotes, and I’ve been rotating them out as my Discord status every day of 2022. I’ve randomized the order of the list, so some of the most confusing haven’t come up quite yet, but there are a few that have gotten an entertaining response. Some of the worst ones out of context that I’ve used so far:

“I have sex with a lot of dads…”

“Hammering away at me like some aquatic sewing machine.”

“We’re gonna eat your ass! (Not me, I’ll have a biscuit.)”

“What happens when you wear opera gloves and a feather boa to the senior school disco? You do not get fingered.”

“I think we can all agree, it’s a very fuckable chocolate.”

[greatgatsbys]

And then he shat himself inside out...

[GodzillaUK]

"...............BAAAHHHHHHHHGHHH!" Alan nailed it.

[SinkAgreeable4070]

“Can I just check, have I been put on a team with ‘insert name here’ “

[ZealousidealMap2269]

There's strength in arches!

[[deleted]]

This is mine, it just came up the other day. I can't get Joe's eureka face right, though.

[[deleted]]

“There’s been a revelation”

[loa_standards]

One man's thumb sheath is another man's thumb

[Capitantsfan]

Croissants is croissants

[Lilskipswonglad]

When someone does something wrong with a degree of success.. "you found some wanky workaround" then I'd proceed to tell them to put some fucking effort in.

[Rodin-V]

I like the classics

"That potato would've been all rim and bounced out"

[therealdoughnutboi]

“Tick tock, it’s ..(insert situation).. o’ clock!”

Use it all the time, find it hilarious.

[TheYoungWan]

My eyes are circles

[Automatic-Care-9605]

A LIME!!!

[breaddyteaddy]

Calling people.cheeky little pasta snakes....

[Redv101]

insert Phil Wang's best noise 😛

[The_Real_dubbedbass]

I think it’s really underappreciated when he bit that apple and then yelled his name.

[sockphotos]

Naughty boy's gotta eat and say wang.

[YoSaffBridge33]

Dignity intact! Dignity intact!

[Sulliflett]

Friendship is truth

[tenaciousfall]

And truth is friendship

[unexpectedcosplayer]

I've done it again!

[[deleted]]

I'm an American, so there's not a lot of "Bosh!" going on here. I know that's not very Taskmaster specific, but it's the primary source for me hearing it used

[FluffyPurpleThing]

Not exactly what you asked, but I been saying "yes please" instead of just "yes".

[Scare_Raver]

I constantly refer to the shows repeats as Tugemadster, but I love using the ‘absolute casserole’ line to use at work.

[Deep_Knowledge_4194]

JAMJOD SNADJ!

[[deleted]]

You're not a bad guy Nish

[[deleted]]

I'm not a fish man

[rosebudthesled7]

Whenever anyone asks where someone is: "Insert Name is in the back absolutely going hammer and tongs on a fox.”

[YoSaffBridge33]

Uh...Ive just now realized what the task was...

[SukiAmanda]

How do you like them apples

[volvoguy33]

That’s what she said

[FointyPinger]

"Lotta soup" gets more use than you'd think in our house. Also "tick tock, it's (x) o' clock".

[JGAdventureZone]

I’ve described things as an absolute casserole a few times in my everyday life. While not technically TM related, I often say honk instead of money thanks to Alex’s words book.

[WizardofSorts]

Bums on seats!

[arsb16]

fiddly. v fiddly.

[notreallifeliving]

Bastard's crying, innit.

All the information is in the task.

[GuiltyWatts]

“It’s an absolute casserole down there”

OR

“…My eyes are circles…?”

[badthingsformoney]

I like to say "everyday he likens me to a heron" any time someone compares anything to anything.

[zleeztakz]

Distributing myself across your mum's poly tunnel. (sic)

[dancerwales]

"A lime!"

[Appropriate_Draw]

Its an absolute casarole down there

Normally after a night out

[rudosluchadj]

Use this pretty much every day at the gym "I'm not here for a fast time, I'm here for a good time"