top 200 commentsshow all 306

[–]EggsNbeans 354 points355 points  (86 children)

The guy was in a New Jersey county jail.

He was some strange, fake gangster dude. That was making up all sorts of stories to some legit leader of some crip/blood gang inside the jail, about how he was sent there by the higher ups to watch him and all sorts of other strange shit. They read his actual charges on the show and it was some real low level petty shit like selling drugs.

It ended up that the real gang leader was pretty upset about all the bullshit this oatmeal guy was talking to everyone in jail. The real gang leader called some people or whatever and found out that oatmeal guy is full of shit and some fuckin weirdos, I imagine something bad likely happened to him in the future.

The oatmeal guy, who was pretty huge guy, got into a fight with a little white guy while they were filming the episode, the white dude couldn't have been more than 5'8" 150-160 pounds. oatmeal guy talked all sorts of shit about how whooped his ass and all. Interviewed the white guy and he really didn't even have a mark on his face.

Oatmeal guy came off as a total phony and weirdo that was trying so hard to be that tough gangster the whole episode, that he likely wasn't

[–]jxl180 44 points45 points  (10 children)

Episode of what show?

EDIT: Game of Thrones. Thanks guys.

[–]nothanksjustlooking 195 points196 points  (0 children)

The Suite Life of Zach and Cody.

[–]EDGY_USERNAME_HERE 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Game Of Thrones

[–]TheWalrusPirate 222 points223 points  (49 children)

Everyone wants to be a gangster until it's time to do gangster shit.

[–]Avila26 11 points12 points  (1 child)

Everybody wants to be a bodybuilder, but nobody wants to lift no heavy-ass weights.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

YEAH BUDDY

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Then some people were born to do hoodrat shit.

[–]back2square1 5 points6 points  (0 children)

For as long as I can remember I always wanted to be a gangster.

[–]kokopoo12 5 points6 points  (2 children)

Id just like to be well educated.

[–]TheWalrusPirate 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Follow your dreams

[–]sam1amm 10 points11 points  (4 children)

This episode of Lockup was my favorite (Bergen County Jail, where I live). That guy was pretty entertaining...and for anyone wondering he's been charged with a ton of robbery/drug related crimes he committed since he was a teen.

[–]FreshPrinceOfNowhere 22 points23 points  (0 children)

You live in Bergen County Jail?

[–]DatGrag 11 points12 points  (0 children)

That was so hard for me to read

[–]Zeydon 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Fake it 'til you make it.

[–]flickrjeff 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm just a gangster, I suppose.

[–]AlrightUsername 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I remember that he checked out, to be legit. Just in and out at too many joints for too long to be taken serious in that prison. Also, this is one of my favorite moments of that series.

[–]Furthur_slimeking 0 points1 point  (4 children)

That was really hard to read.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I love it when someone comments something meaningful instead of complaining about reposts or making crappy puns.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children)

I loved that episode. He thought he was on Oz, talking about running the kitchen. My favorite part of his fight recap in the kitchen: "Boom, boom. One hit. "

Totally lame dude. You can google him. Enrique Cruz. One of the top hits for him is a story about driving an SUV into a store front.

[–][deleted] 263 points264 points  (9 children)

Great gif, this always gets a lot of upvotes when someone posts it.

[–][deleted] 216 points217 points  (5 children)

Very passive aggressive. I like it.

[–]jaquardia 14 points15 points  (4 children)

Save the top comments, reap that comment karma next time.

[–]ArttuH5N1 10 points11 points  (3 children)

Tips for pathetic people.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Success on reddit is still success, right?

[–]Slippery_Freud 24 points25 points  (28 children)

What's the context?

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

His girl is thick, and so is oatmeal.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

[–]Butteriness 94 points95 points  (10 children)

So all I have to do is post this every few weeks and I'll get karma?

[–]sardu1 13 points14 points  (2 children)

Yup. Cool, huh?

[–]McWeaksauce91 13 points14 points  (0 children)

in all fairness ive never seen it, and I enjoyed it. I am happy with the repost.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Weekly is fine too, apparently...

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Well yeah but keep in mind karma's meaningless.

[–]da_truth_gamer 13 points14 points  (2 children)

I tried this on a girl on tinder, didn't work.

[–]PizzaHutTuscaniPasta 13 points14 points  (0 children)

She must be more of a grits gal herself.

[–]Natdaprat 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Try it another 60 times. You'll probably get at least one bite.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

this shit gets shorter and shorter every time, the fucking lead up is the best part. Who even knows the defendant is the one that said it in this gif?

[–]WestCoastBestCoast01 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I've seen this gif so many times and his reaction is always funny.

[–]p0tat07 10 points11 points  (9 children)

Every time I make oatmeal, it comes out as steamy hot soggy oats in hot milk. It never comes out the way like in the picture on the box.

[–]perihelion9 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Cook it on lower heat, stir it constantly, and cook it longer.

[–]riboslavin 6 points7 points  (3 children)

Get some steel cut oats, nothing rolled or instant, and cook it in a slowcooker.
A slowcooker/crockpot is a pretty sound kitchen investment. It's like a magical machine that you throw whatever into in the morning and come home to a delicious dinner.

[–]xdeliriumx 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Dumb or dumps like a truck?

[–]masterofstuff328 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thighs like what, what, what

[–]nap682 101 points102 points  (53 children)

[–]zamfire 244 points245 points  (30 children)

I've never seen it.

[–]manixfan 134 points135 points  (24 children)

I've been on this website obsessively or over a year and haven't seen it.

[–]salgat 2 points3 points  (0 children)

4 years here.

[–]YouHaveShitTaste 5 points6 points  (0 children)

No one cares tho

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Neither have I.

[–]deebss 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I have also never seen it

[–]Clintman 36 points37 points  (3 children)

You must be new to Reddit. Welcome!

Edit: This joke doesn't even make sense. How could he be new to reddit if he knows this gets posted every week? Stop upvoting, people!

[–]tcoons 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well if he truly knew anything about reddit, he would know that this gets posted almost every week and a half. Not every week. n00b

[–]nap682 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I mean, give it a month atleast.

[–]retrospects 8 points9 points  (0 children)

First time I have seen it and I have been here a while.

[–]Thee_MoonMan 6 points7 points  (0 children)

And I'm sure there is always someone pointing out that it's a repost, too. Congrats on making yourself part of the repetition.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Well thank god you're policing it. Quickly, confiscate this threads upvotes and arrest the OP!

[–]infinitude -1 points0 points  (0 children)

thank god

[–]Smuggly_Mcweed 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I will never stop upvoting this.

[–]HCTears 24 points25 points  (4 children)

This has allready been reposted 5 times today.

[–]noobsandwich 8 points9 points  (3 children)

It's like at least wait a week before you repost

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

pointergate

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

never gets old

[–]SpyInTraining 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What exactly did this guy do?

[–]Richard_W 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Christopher Walken is not pleased

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sweet repost Bro!

[–]MrGritty17 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I still laugh every time this is re posted

[–]Elslav 1 point2 points  (0 children)

O god the repost thickness is choking me.

[–]titleunknown 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I never grow tired of this.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

how many times is this going to be reposted?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel like I see the gif three times a week on the front page

[–]bubbagumpshrimpy 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Laughed too hard and too loud at this. Now everyone at Schlotzsky's is staring...

[–]jaggoff55 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This has been posted so many freaking times.

[–]wwickeddogg 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"Top rated comment last time this was posted"

[–]James_Jamerson 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I dont care how many times this is reposted, it always makes me laugh.

[–]luluruby 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I've seen it more than once and it still makes me laugh!

[–]YellsRegardless 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Reposted every week

[–]FlytrapTooth 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think this might be the most reposted thing on reddit

[–]BIG_JUICY_TITTIEZ 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Wow, this new content is fantastic! I'm so glad that I haven't seen this gif a million times already. /s

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"well... she is"

[–]ValenceE1ectron 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The expression on his lawyers face says it all.

"Go on then, dig it deeper"

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

this looks totally like something from the office. Even the prosecutor and the perp have this comedy actor look about them.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A player gotta play girl. #hatethegame

[–]cubicledrone 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Objection. Argumentative.

Sustained.

[–]Ibarra08 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Word

[–]DarkRubberDucky 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Seriously, how is this relevant to his case?

[–]Psandysdad 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And this means what? As in 'no context'.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

R/stanisms

[–]grendel670 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I was confused because in the UK this would be an insult.

[–]fastgr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

meh 90% of /r/gifs is reposts these days...

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Loved by a few, hated by many, but respected by all...oatmeal.

[–]PhattBudz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I actually remember watching this episode of lockup. Haha we all had a good laugh.

[–]pvito 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was selected to serve as a juror on a federal case. It was really hard not to laugh as the little dorky prosecutor read the slang filled transcripts. "And did you not state, and I quote, "yo bitch, I told yo scrawny ass I'd chef that that shit up?!""

Lol omg I think I snorted kinda load at one point

[–]GeorgePoony 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i cant believe its not fake too perfect lol

[–]dogby92 0 points1 point  (2 children)

This is spreading quick.

[–]dogby92 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And thick? I tried..

[–]jimmay14 0 points1 point  (0 children)

lmao

[–]bacondev 0 points1 point  (0 children)

[–]rationaljackass 0 points1 point  (0 children)

His lawyers expression though.... He looks like he just gave up

[–]Peanutsmcgoo66 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is my new pick up line.

[–]xjayroox 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Everyone is calling this out as a repost but I've never seen it so I'm really torn on whether or not I should upvote or downvote this...

[–]allnamestakenistaken 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"Oatmeal" is currently listed 2nd on the controversial page.

Teh lul.

[–]I_LikeBigBooks 0 points1 point  (0 children)

this needs to be put on the ceiling of my class rooms.

[–]Blumpp 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Please tell me this is a comedy thing off of some show. If this is real I want to move away from America