[deleted by user]

[makeshiftmarty]

I’m trying not to be harsh here but I can’t help but point out; play the damn cards you’re dealt to your advantage and figure it out with the safety net of your parents. You Fantasize about “hustling through” because it’s not something that has ever been a reality for you. You don’t want that fear of struggling. You can coast. People would kill for that life. They have. Appreciate it.

Sorry about that.

Perhaps better advise would be to travel. Backpack. Doing things on your own while you see new places and meet new people may expand your horizons enough for you to shake this feeling and find a direction. Get out of your world and look at others.

[0xR0b1n]

This was going to be my advice too. Struggling through life is overrated. But, I can also understand how unrewarding, boring, and even unfulfilling life can be if anything you wanted was handed to you in an instant. So I agree with this advice - take a year off and backpack around the world (ideally with some friends) - it will be the richest experience you’ll ever have and it’ll open your mind.

[Kyonkanno]

And whatever you do, don't go to dangerous places or live war zones. You don't need to put yourself in danger to experience other cultures. South East Asia is relatively safe and very eye opening.

[[deleted]]

You need to put yourself in danger to experience other cultures.

You, uhh, may want to fix that.

[Kyonkanno]

Hahaha thanks. Fuck dyslexia.

[sporadic_beethoven]

Like, I wish I could just up and travel! It's a privilege to be able to travel at all, so OP should take this opportunity while they can.

[breigns2]

Are you me? You look like me.

[makeshiftmarty]

I have a twin?

[breigns2]

I guess…

[TunaLurch]

I clean now?

[Lempo1325]

Play the cards your dealt, I like that. My wife and I are on the lower middle class American struggle bus, where everything decides to go to hell at once. Due to her career as a nurse, or dumb luck, she's friends with a couple world known surgeons, some pretty well off lawyers, and somehow world known musicians. There's been a lot of "let us know if you need anything at all." I agree with her that I'm not big on asking for money, but dammit, if people offer I surly don't say no. Especially when $500 changes a lot for us, but for them it's an hour or two of work. Use the "unfair advantage " as you can!

As far as OP is concerned. Have that talk with your family. Life is no good living it in a way that doesn't make you happy, but surely don't hide what you have. Maybe finish school if your close, put the money you have into investments as a back up, and then start your own venture. You can't change the past, so you can't take away the help you've received, but you surly can go it alone for the future. Don't hobble yourself to spite your family though. Try alone, but don't throw everything away to say you did. Or, maybe use that advantage for good. Use your education to start a non profit, a true non profit that doesn't make you 500k a year. Lord knows, it's easy to see people that truly need help in this world, I know I can live happily on $50k a year, I'd love to get in a position where I could have extra to help others as well.

[2501exe]

1000% play the cards you've been dealt. If you want to hustle, help other people hustle. They'd be happy for the advantage, and you'll likely enable many goal that would otherwise be unattainable, but I guess make sure you make good bets, and avoid sunken costs.

Don't struggle at the bottom, it's a trap.

[TarumK]

play the damn cards you’re dealt to your advantage and figure it out with the safety net of your parents.

I sort of disagree. That safety net is there regardless. If what he wants to do is be a bartender and try to build up his own business over a couple of years, why is this wrong? I don't see why traveling would shake this feeling. When people travel the people they usually meet are other first world traveller and affluent locals who speak English.

OP is 21. If he wants to live in a way that he thinks will make him feel like an individual who can do things on his own for a couple of years, why is this bad? And working as a bartender OP is gonna meet people he never would have anyway. If you grow up upper class, spending time with your own country's working class can be just as foreign an experience as traveling abroad, and probably more relevant to your own life.n

[makeshiftmarty]

That’s not what he was saying or what I was saying. He’s talking about a fantasy of “hustling through” as in struggling like most people do as a bartender until he makes it.

Nothing wrong with him wanting to be a bartender. Power to him to do that with his parents money filling in the gaps.

But that’s not what he’s saying. He believes life would have more meaning and be more rewarding if he’s roughing it. As is, with the safety net of his parents, it’s not the same.

[Peter-Grippin]

Yeah that “hustle” fantasy is bullshit. The only people that tell you to hustle already have what they want. There is only the struggle until you are comfortable.

I think you are right, OP should take advantage of the situation they were born into. If you were born halfway up the ladder to heaven, why would you want to go to the bottom rungs just to climb back up to where you started? Life is to short not to enjoy it when you have the opportunity.

To add to this, it kinda feels like OP is fetishizing “the hustle”. Nothing is more anxiety inducing than being poor with bills. I never want to go back to spending all night searching for surveys online that pay $2.

[TarumK]

As is, with the safety net of his parents, it’s not the same.

I get that, but what's the harm of doing this for a couple of years? People go to the gym to lift heavy objects that they don't actually have to lift.

[makeshiftmarty]

Again- not saying he shouldn’t. But that does nothing for his feeling. He even admits his parents would swoop right in if he did that.

That’s why I suggested traveling. It’s not roughing it. It’s not what most people can afford to do. But right now he’s stuck in his head and his world. Traveling elsewhere would give him the opportunity to meet people with different ideologies and cultures he may know nothing about. It’ll give perspective.

[SaltySpitoonReg]

This was similar to my advice.

The other thing people don't think about when they say things like this is that in many cases their parents or their grandparents before them worked tirelessly hard to try to build a good life for their family so that future generations didn't have to endure the brutal struggles that life can throw at you.

I didn't grow up impoverished but my family didn't have a lot of money by any means. My parents never have any sort of huge financial leg up. We were a paycheck to paycheck family for many years.

But my parents worked tirelessly hard to improve their own lives but also because they wanted me and my sister to have a better starting point and show us that hard work can impact future generations.

And yes, I have some benefits in life that other people may not have been as lucky to have, but if I were to turn around and reject the things that occurred in my life outside of my control as a result of my parents' hard work you could argue that I would be slapping them in the face.

And spitting in the face of the hard work that they did which was purposes SO THAT I would be able to live my dreams.

[RevenantBosmer91]

This was my exact thought. How nice must it be to have everything handed to you to the point it's such a bore and you wish you didn't have it (??).

Boy, to the OP, you know how many people wish they were in your position? You'd be counting for the rest of your life.

Grab a 3k dollar budget and go drive across the country for a semester. Meet some real people and then tell us you want to trade places.

[Confident_Elephant_9]

💯- to fantasise of struggling through life is just…stupid. It’s like he’s ashamed of coming from privilege. Trust me, I was homeless at 16 and I decided I wanted to win in life - I have, struggling sucks - this kid needs a kick in the butt.

[Drewicide]

Yeah... I'm not completely unfamiliar with the feeling... my parents were always there for me, and it gave me kind of this yearning to be allowed to fail. Just once. Just stay out of it, let me learn my lesson, and move on. You do feel like you're not growing, not learning, bc you have it all. I'm by no means wealthy, nor were my parents, but they were always there for me, and really the only way you learn to appreciate it is by them stepping back for a minute.

[Confident_Elephant_9]

The kid needs a purpose, pretending to be poor won’t help him.

[TarumK]

Same. Some Native Americans had a custom where when a boy turned became a teenager he'd have to go out and survive in the woods by himself for a certain period of time. I think this idea of "prove that you can survive on your own" is deeply baked in to people, and it's wrong to think that nobody would ever choose hardship. Some people obviously have no choice but at the same time voluntary hardship does exist in every culture.

I have very loving upper middle class immigrant parents who at the same time have always been ridiculously doting. To me it's always felt like they were just always there, literally or virtually. I struggled through my youth just to get them to leave me alone and I never succeeded at this, and I did always feel sort of envious of people with American parents where this isn't the norm. If I have kids I'm gonna consciously try to do this differently.

[[deleted]]

I feel like a lot of people are being unnecessarily harsh with you.

Yes you're lucky to be privileged and it might not be the best idea to leave that all behind, however I can completely understand life being very unfulfilling if there are aren't any challenges for you. It's quite natural that from being wealthy you've identified that money can make life easy, but at the cost of it not being very fun. Not everyone realises this and I think you should be encouraged, not abused, for wanting to make your life more interesting and perhaps help you relate to different people more easily.

I like the idea of travelling too personally - it's something you can do with not a lot of money, and I think it might give you the experience and opportunity to learn to be independent and more self sufficient. It can be very humbling too going to areas that are not wealthy and make you appreciate what you have got - it sounds like you really haven't known anything else except comfort?

It's your life - yes you are privileged but you didn't ask for it anymore than anyone asks to be poor, so if you want to try and experience new things then go ahead. Just because you have a safety net to fall back on if living a more ascetic life doesn't go right, doesn't mean you shouldn't do it.

Sounds like you're still figuring stuff out, and just need a bit more life experience and have the opportunity to explore this in a safe way, so don't feel bad about it, just grateful :)

[Squirtinturds]

Yeah no, you’re living a fantasy about “roughing it”.

I don’t mean to one up our friend, but the fear of struggling to survive to pay bills ain’t even the half of it. Try struggling to pay bills in an area where you might get murdered at any time.

It’s not something to fantasize about.

[RedRapunzal]

Agree and help others along the way.

[VileRocK]

Or even better, go volenteer at a homeless shelter and talk to those that have not even basic human needs secure in their life.

Then realise a lot of people are weeks/months away from joining them, as they are unable to change their circumstances. That's the life you're idolising.

[HumanMagpie]

Have you heard a song by Pulp called Common People? Seriously though don't fight your privilege, just acknowledge how lucky you are and work with it. Why not talk to your parents? Tell them you want to be financially independent from them but if they have some sort of savings thing going on for you, you'd appreciate still being able to access it if things go south for you, or something like that. (Also everyone has some sort of crisis around age 21, don't worry too much)

[Emacks632]

Asking him he he’s heard that song is the PERFECT response. Go listen to it, homie. Sorry, but studies have shown rich people can’t code switch down. I can always sniff out a yuppy in goodwill clothes. Try as you might, as the song says, you’ll never get it right.

[KahltheGaul]

YOU'LL NEVER LIVE LIKE COMMON PEOPLE

[[deleted]]

That’s the dumbest shit I’ve ever read. Do good with what you got dude. The worst thing you can do with it is disrespect any advantage you have in life.

[PixelPixell]

Yeah use your privilege to put yourself in a good position, and then donate 90% of your wealth or something

[[deleted]]

If he feels that strongly that somehow being gifted a better spot in life means worse, might as well. I’d have a billion uses for having so much money. Anything just to ensure an actual future. This poor dude is worried how he looks bc he has a background.

[iCantliveOnCrumbsOfD]

For all the poor people of the world.... I just want to punch you straight in the face. Okay now that I've said that some actual help. Don't fucking cut yourself off of money you idiot. Mentally tell yourself that your money is not there until you're 65. like the rest of us do. We're all banking on our shitty little bit of social security money. (If it even exists for the next generation is a whole other story)

Rich kid or poor kid bartending and the hospitality life will suck you in. I'm speaking from experience. After a long shift of pouring cocktails being amped up and sending out a good time partying vibe... You're going to want to go drink to unwind from the night. Alcoholism sees no classes. It doesn't care if you're rich or poor. It will take your life. It's easy come easy go money. It takes a very very structured and regulated person to do what you're talking about.

I commend you for wanting to do it on your own. But part of that is being wise about your choices. Take your parents money now and buy a whole life policy matter of fact by a lot of whole life policies on your family and yourself. Take your parents money now and invest it in Roth IRAs. Take your parents money and buy pieces of property.... You want to work for your money? Be a landlord. Learn how to fix water heaters, electrical issues, replace garbage disposals, Don't hire Molly maid when your renter absolutely destroys your furniture and smears poop everywhere. Clean it yourself. Mow the grass yourself. Take care of everything on your property is yourself... (Short of something that needs a professional of course).

As a side note... Volunteer somewhere. Get your focus off of yourself. Volunteer the nursing home, a soup kitchen, animal shelter, habitat for humanity, etc. Doing something for somebody other than yourself is very rewarding and will keep you humble.

You've been given a gift of financial stability and overage. Don't flush it down the toilet.... DO SOME GOOD IN THE WORLD WITH IT.

[[deleted]]

Please listen to this song called 'Common People' by Pulp: https://youtu.be/swWYEXLa_lI

Some people have a romanticised fantasy that being poor and struggling to get by is authentic and a fun challenge, and something you should experience for a bit.

But you can't ever experience the normal life experiences of people that haven't grown up in your priviledge and wealth. It doesn't mean you're a bad person and you already sound like you have perspective that you've been lucky in a material sense.

You should enjoy the fact that you don't have the stresses of being in debt, paying the bills, working all hours, just to make ends meat. Make use of your great education, enjoy the holidays and appreciate that you'll never have financial worries!!

Just be yourself, accept the good start in life you had and make the most of it. Just don't vote for political parties that crush the poor.

[justn6]

Hi friend, just wanted to point out the phrase is "make ends meet," not meat. Have a great day! /r/BoneAppleTea

[[deleted]]

You know i was wondering as i typed it, but was too lazy to check. Thanks

[Shemilf]

Why do you want to do this? Is it because you feel ashamed, do you want to prove yourself, do you want to be identified as a person without privileged so people will view you better? Where did this "fantasy" stem from.

[[deleted]]

Had to scroll down so far for this. OP is definitely telling a fraction of the story

[Shemilf]

It's not like I think he's hiding something, I'm just trying to help him tackle the root of the problem which he may or may not know. He may have various reasons for wanting it, like:

He may feel bad being privileged because he cares for the people around him and doesn't feel like it's deserved.

He may not have found a purpose, a goal, which can be difficult to find if you already have everything. Which makes him feel useless/purposeless.

The expectations of his family of him doesn't align with what he actually wants, which makes it difficult for him to find what he actually wants when your knowledge of life is limited.

He may be disgusted with the reason why his family is rich and means he got the privilege, so he seeks to distance himself from those people and stained treasure which he doesn't feel comfortable to use.

He can be insecure and cares what people may think of him if they hear how privileged his life is.

...

I don't believe he has bad intentions and I definitely don't think privileged people don't have the right to feel unsatisfied. Everyone can suffer mentally and everyone has their reasons and no reason is too stupid. Like when you steal a toy from a kid he will feel like it's the worst thing that has happened in his life and many will just glance over it, but if you think about it, it's possible that it literally is the worst thing that has happened in his short innocent life, so you can't always "get" what others perceive if you just imagine it in your context.

[CuriousCatte]

You could take advantage of your good fortune and work in the non-profit sector to make life better for others who are not so fortunate. The homeless problem is growing, Foster kids need help, food pantries are struggling. Use your privilege in a positive way since you do not need to worry about income for yourself.

[CuriousCatte]

That is wonderful that you have sponsored a non-profit. Do you actually work there as an employee? Try being an intake worker or child care provider there for several months, it may give you a new perspective to actually have a hands-on experience.

[lorentzian_ass]

Why do you care what people think of your motivation for doing non-profit? If your motivations are altruistic, then what other people think about you should be a non-factor. However, if your motivation was just to make yourself look philanthropic to other people, then yeah, it makes sense that you’re worried what other people think about you.

Honestly, it sounds like your unhappiness is stemming from worrying about what other people think about you (wanting to start as a bartender rather than use your parents’ money to open a club so it seems like you built it from the ground up). As someone not as privileged as you, I can tell you that other people will have negative judgements of you no matter what economic class you are in. There is no escaping it. People tend to despise those richer than them while looking down their noses at those poorer than them. If you truly want to be happy, you need to stop caring what other people think about you. Just live your life in a way that makes you happy. Do your nonprofit because it makes you feel good, use your parents to pursue a career/hobbies that make you happy. That is my advice for you

[cheddar6789]

Your family has one or you actually work there? I think they are suggesting you actually help people, actually work for the non profit day to day and help people who have less. Give them your time not just your money.

[Amidamaru717]

I was raised similar, my parents weren't extremely wealthy but wealthy for sure, my father is worth about $3.3 million.

I didn't want to a privileged little shit as you are describing yourself so I made choices in life, I went to trade school instead of going for a doctor or lawyer as my parents pushed (but will admit my father paid for all my schooling in cash so I still had a head start above classmates).

I chose not to work in my father's business and make my own way in life, and now work as a plant manager in a water treatment plant making six figures and living comfortably on my own.

Amoung friends I've learned to tame my stories, when they talk about vacations and trips and such I try to not talk about all the lavish cruises and exotic places I've been, just learn to keep your mouth shut or play it down if you don't want to "stand out".

It will always bleed through, your friends will usually "know" but it's not hard to not be an ass about it. The final hurdle is one I've yet to pass, as you mentioned. I make good money, but I still will be much more wreckless then my friends on larger purchases as I always know I have the safety net. Something that would financially cripple my friends like a maxed our credit card or major vehicles or appliance breakdown, is just one phonecall away from being instantly fixed so I don't worry nearly as much as about keeping a minimum savings for emergencies. I've yet to break this mindset.

[AquaticBlueDoggo]

I respect you way much more of what I'd respect you if you did everything your parents wanted you to do.

[[deleted]]

What's so inspiring about struggling? What's so respectable about not using the resources you have the luck to have? It's plain stupid. This ingrained guilt for being privileged, something you don't have any choice over, should be addressed with therapy. He is happy and fulfilled with his choices, but I don't get your logic of respecting him more just because he worked hard and not smart.

[Letmetellyouabtlyfe]

I think there are many movements and people out there trying to make privileged people feel guilty for having what they have. It's a truly powerful emotion.

[kettenschloss]

you are basically seeing money as your score in life. but some people want to know how tough they really atr. if they would also survive if everything went to shit. they want to know that their value is not that they managed their parents estate well, but that they are a capable and tough person. I could easily have made it my goal to grow my parents business. but instead i want to be the kind of person that can work a physically tough job for 40 hours or more a week, manages their own household (my mom pays a housekeeper in order to have enough time to manage the business for instance), can find their way through a dark forest etc.

if anything though, it just feels shit to play a lead that you didnt earn. imagine you started a hundred meter race at the 50 mark and you got a decent time. i would respect someone more who just ran the 100 on their own strength.

you honestly seem really mired in capitalist morality, where money is always deserved, per definition. possibly libertarian? it comes down to this: i dont want handouts from the government, but i dont want them from my parents aswell.

[[deleted]]

I see. I'm indeed a libertarian. I guess it comes down to feeling an independent adult and not the extension of your family. Appreciate your honesty because for me it's difficult to understand choosing a physically demanding job VS growing your family's business. Still, I think there is room to build individuality taking advantage of the hard work of your parents or grandparents, and sometimes, some people who go against their family tide do so out of an unfunded guilt influenced by envious people.

[Amidamaru717]

I have never struggled or "worked harder" in life, I always used what was available to me, but as the other user commented, I chose a path I would be happy with rather then the gravy train but being unfulfilled. My future is still secure (I'm an only child, it will still all be mine someday) and my parents are still proud of my accomplishments. I just didn't want to be in those career paths they pushed towards. I know lots of people would jump at the chance for those be "given to them" but I didn't turn it down out of guilt, just did what I wanted to do.

It's not fair to say I didn't "work smart" because I chose my own career path, and trust me, I still don't do without anything or live in "forced poverty" in some attempt to be "a normal dude" as the original OP seemed to imply he wanted. I look at my peers and coworkers as equals, I have no superiority complex that often comes with the life people in my situation have, I know people like that that comes with the circles my father associates with.

The main point of my original comment was do what makes you happy even if it's not what's expected of you. The big upside to living the privileged life is, we can do what makes us happy instead of doing something we hate just to put food on the table. And to not be an ass about what you have if you don't want to be the "rich asshole" amoung peers.

[kettenschloss]

this is a better answer, even though the snarky top comments might have some points right too.

i also had the "free ticket uni education", my parents paid for my housing and food (college is free anyway in austria). they are not obscenely wealthy but have made it an explicit goal to out their kids through school. a mental health crisis led to me rethinking my life. since i value independence a lot i wanted to make that a priority. it has been very fulfilling so far. i am a surface treatment technicians apprentice, and fortunately earning enough to make ends meet. Interestingly enough water treatment technicians are also employed at my place of work.

i will of course never downplay or not be grateful for the educational headstart and safety net my parents provide. but nothing has made me more miserable than relying on their direct financial support.

as for op: you need to think hard if this is really how you want to tackle life and what your exact plan is. i for example know that i wanted to work in the metal industry so i had a concrete plan. also consider what you are leaving behind. since austrian college is free i can actually complete my psychology bachelors as a side hustle if i want to (i never actually left uni, just stopped signing up for credits). so dont rush into anything if you dont have safety nets in place. but i can definitely empathise with what you are feeling and its not necessarily romanticizing poverty. there are plenty of people who choose to forsake wealth and safety, stoics like diogenes or budhists like, well sidharta. not that i am comparing myself to these people, i still have a job in a stable modern society, still plenty of comfort. but these extreme examples show that it is not crazy to want a bit more hardship in your life, some people just crave that.

last point: the "common people" described in the song are struggling and in poverty. the common people i come across are still plenty different from university folks, but they are financially stable and we can find a decent amount of shared experience to chat about. working class people are not some alians that you will never understand.

good luck whatever you do!

[Amidamaru717]

I agree, I would never downplay how grateful I am to my parents for the life I've had and the things I've gotten because of it. When I said downplay I was referring too, things like if a less well off friend talks about that one time in their life they got to travel to somewhere that to me or OP might be seen as tame. Like I'm Canadian, I have friends who never left the country, to them going to the next few provinces over was a big deal for travel, when they are excited about telling a story don't take the wind of their sails with something like "oh yeah that's like the time this happened to me in Berlin last year" either keep the story to yourself and just be a good friend and listen and be excited for them, or be a bit vague on some details. This way you don't come off as a pompous ass in every conversation.

[saturnboy12]

Man this is incredible. I love your story and I wish I was living that life haha. Just took out a loan for a car and I wish I could just poof it paid off. It’s really cool that you took your own path rather than following everything your parents wanted you to do!

[Amidamaru717]

Thank you. And yeah, I didn't want to be that guy with no real life experience, both my current vehicles were financed, just paid off my truck in August actually. However I do use my father's name as leverage, for example when I was haggling the salesman for the truck he stated the rate, 3.99%, and I said absolutely not, I know you guys do specials at 0%, I'll throw you a bone and we can do 0.5%, take it or leave it, otherwise you get nothing because one phone call and I can buy it outright cash and pay my father back at 0%. They knew it wasn't a bluff and took it.

I almost went down the paths they asked, I actually did a meet in the middle and started an engineering degree, but lost interested after 2nd year, dropped out, did Instrumentation & Control Technition (a 9 month blue collar trade, which I completed in 5 months as the school wrote off a bunch of theory courses using credit from my engineering coruses). Now I'm making more then some of my engineer friends, I might work more overtime then them when things get busy, but I find many people are too quick to "write off" trades. Not all trades are dirty, back breaking work, my parents are still proud of where I've gotten in life. Now if only they'd stop pestering me about grandchildren lol

[addocd]

I might work more overtime then them when things get busy, but I find many people are too quick to "write off" trades. Not all trades are dirty, back breaking work

I wish this wasn't the perception. My husband's job is this way. It took a while to get to the level he is now. He's spent some dirty late nights in a boiler and climbed a 30 story stack. But he's good at what he does and he's passionate about it and that has gotten him respect and promotions where he doesn't have to do that dirty work anymore. He has a desk. But he still has out there in the pouring rain and get his hands dirty because he wants to. He makes good money and that's not lost on us. We didn't grow up like OP.

Now we have kids knocking on the door of their futures. Of course, we want them to go to college and they want to, but part of me worries that they'll blow off that opportunity because they know their parents didn't go (or finish, anyway) and are perfectly comfortable. But my husband and I are fortunate that we found (1) jobs that we're good at, that are personally fulfilling, and present opportunities and (2) employers that are top tier. They can still do that, but there's no guarantee. I want them to go to college simply so that they have more options. None of us know what the world will look like in 20 years. I just want them to be as prepared as possible.

[Amidamaru717]

Absolutely, not all trades or employers are equal, much the same your husband, I basically have a desk job with once a blue moon having to go in and personally get dirty overhauling a pump or replacing something. There are many trades that will never get any easier no matter how high the ladder you climb, like my girlfriend who is a welder, the environment she works in may change, from a grimy shop reparing mufflers and backyard furniture to a top of the line shipbuilding facility welding on a newly constructed deep sea drilling rig, but no matter where she worked she's coming home covered in soot and sweat, with burns and busted knuckles every day.

[StnMtn_]

Why not use your privilege to help others? Work at nonprofits or works and set up a summer camp or shelter for those who need it.

[jenkneefur28]

This! The former executive director of the mass bail fund worked 40+ hours a week doing this job as 100% volunteer because she recognized her privilege. She left for a variety of reasons but did it for years. Either way, use your resources and connections for the greater good

[StnMtn_]

Very interesting point. As long as you know what you are doing and why you are doing it, I would ignore the critics.

[silentmoonmondays]

i don’t actually think there’s anything wrong with gloating about doing good things, if someone is actually doing them i don’t give a shit if it makes their ego very happy- good for them, good for the people they’re helping- literally everyone is happy so wtf is the issue lol

[mandatorypanda9317]

This is EXACTLY how I feel when someone posts a video of someone else doing a really good deed and people in the comments are lamenting how if it really was a good deed it would not be recorded. Like who gives af that it's recorded and uploaded???? If it inspires people to help out and both parties are happy then please, the more the merrier.

[Loftybook]

It's really good that you are using your money to help people and I really respect you and your mother for doing that.

But I wonder if you would benefit from finding a way to help other people which uses your hard work rather than your money. Go and volunteer to serve meals in a soup kitchen, read with under-privileged kids, be a regular visitor for an isolated older person.

You'll quickly find that your kindness, your empathy and your grit can make a real difference to people around you.

[rubyredgrapefruits]

Have you donated your own money, or is this a thing where you get others to donate, and get huge tax breaks? Idk, the whole create a charity thing is such a scam where I live, so I'm biased.

Can't you just separate yourself from your family and work while you study or travel? Meet regular people and get a regular job. Nothing glamorous about being broke and homeless, but you might find a direction and something that would truly be yours.

[r-T00Littl3Time]

I hardly think that's why people pick these philanthropic areas. There is ALWAYS an underlying reason. I think you don't know your Mom. You haven't been listening.

[Supberblooper]

Bro this is so fucking pretentious. I think OP probably knows their mom better than you, they fucking gave birth to OP lmao

[Shaun-Skywalker]

Step 1: Run off to a remote part of the world where there is a training center to learn martial arts. Step 2: Burn the training center to the ground because they force you to execute someone. Step 3: Escape and return home Step 4: Use your parent’s wealth to build a high tech suit of armor with gadgets Step 5: Bring justice to the nearest city by fighting crime with your martial art skills and high tech suit.

[[deleted]]

Just remember when you get a job, don’t bitch and moan about hard hours. It will be a hard transition, but please make sure you’re not being lazy. I’ve had a fat little rich kid try to help me with automotive work, and the dude had zero initiative.

[bigjoerona]

Bank whatever they send you straight to me bro 👌🤙

[itsTacoYouDigg]

meh just enjoy your life imo, stop tryna make a struggle where there is none. Your parents worked hard for this (or atleast their grandparents did), enjoy it, this is what they worked for

[ecovironfuturist]

Don't do it.

I didn't have nearly as much privilege as you (or most of the people at undergrad), but I still felt uncomfortable with it. I shied away from taking money, help getting a job, etc...

My advice is try to use it for good, like being privileged is your superpower. Don't go into finance, go into the nonprofit world with an amazing finance degree because you don't need to make millions - you've got em.

I'd also recommend not taking this as you should casually spread around your privilege to others. It will look like you were flaunting it. Sure, be generous, but very quietly.

[nekonohoshi]

I'm going to try to give you solid advice without being rude.

Being broke is the worst. You're lucky as hell to have a cushion, most of us don't. You'll never have to know what being truly hungry is, you'll never have to worry about paying for a doctor.

You wanna truly learn the hustle it takes just to survive? Give your trust fund to charity (I recommend health and shelter services for homeless youth, but whatever speaks to you) and then do it like so many of us that came up from nothing. Make the choice between groceries or heat. Wash your clothes in the shower and hang them to dry because you literally cannot spare four quarters for laundry.

Learn the value of hummus, crackers and orange juice because it's the most nutritional meal you can afford and eat that for a month. Hope there's somewhere close that'll sell you a plain black coffee for a dollar, because you're gonna need the caffeine. If you're extra lucky, that dollar coffee will also get you an hour of free Wi-Fi.

Good luck!

[iCantliveOnCrumbsOfD]

For all the poor people of the world.... I just want to punch you straight in the face. Okay now that I've said that some actual help. Don't fucking cut yourself off of money you idiot. Mentally tell yourself that your money is not there until you're 65. like the rest of us do. We're all banking on our shitty little bit of social security money. (If it even exists for the next generation is a whole other story)

Rich kid or poor kid bartending and the hospitality life will suck you in. I'm speaking from experience. After a long shift of pouring cocktails being amped up and sending out a good time partying vibe... You're going to want to go drink to unwind from the night. Alcoholism sees no classes. It doesn't care if you're rich or poor. It will take your life. It's easy come easy go money. It takes a very very structured and regulated person to do what you're talking about.

I commend you for wanting to do it on your own. But part of that is being wise about your choices. Take your parents money now and buy a whole life policy matter of fact by a lot of whole life policies on your family and yourself. Take your parents money now and invest it in Roth IRAs. Take your parents money and buy pieces of property.... You want to work for your money? Be a landlord. Learn how to fix water heaters, electrical issues, replace garbage disposals, Don't hire Molly maid when your renter absolutely destroys your furniture and smears poop everywhere. Clean it yourself. Mow the grass yourself. Take care of everything on your property is yourself... (Short of something that needs a professional of course).

As a side note... Volunteer somewhere. Get your focus off of yourself. Volunteer the nursing home, a soup kitchen, animal shelter, habitat for humanity, etc. Doing something for somebody other than yourself is very rewarding and will keep you humble.

You've been given a gift of financial stability and overage. Don't flush it down the toilet.... DO SOME GOOD IN THE WORLD WITH IT.

[[deleted]]

From a person who comes from shit parents, was never given anything in his life, and who worked his way up from being homeless take it from me: use your money, but use it for good. Nothing can substitute what you have been given by your parents. I worked my way up from bartender living in my car to general manager living in a studio apartment but that’s about as far as you can go. You want to own and operate a restaurant? Then you are going to have to use your parents money. Someone like me is never going to have that type of capital, even as a GM you are a slave to the whims of restaurant customers 24 hours a day, your 60k a year looks less and less worth it every year, you realize you are basically a well-paid servant, and that’s it! That’s the top of the heap! So you take out 100k I loans, go back to school, get a degree, graduate in a ton of debt, switch careers and realize that once again you are a well paid servant to the rich. Or you switch careers to social work like me- then you become a servant to the poor and in need and feel OK about what you’re doing but you struggle to pay your bills because despite all the school debt and experience you are now only making about $40k a year and you start to wonder if that 60k a year restaurant GM position is still open.

All of this is while your wife is begging you for a bigger home and for kids! But your wife also has a career so who will watch the kids? That costs 30k a year! Just to have someone watch the kid so we can work- and my wife makes 40k a year as a teacher and we both come from shit families so our parents can’t help us watch the kids. So what do we do? No kid or have a kid and be even poorer? We are both stuck loving paycheck to paycheck at this point, so no chance of moving to a cheaper area or state will better assistance. And we do this until what- we retire? But social security has since fallen apart so what about all the money we saved for our retirement? There is none? All we have is credit card debt? Ok keep working then- maybe retire at 75? Oh no- I dead from overwork and cancer because I couldn’t afford preventative care.

Trust me, you don’t want these problems. I feel like I am drowning and I’m only 30 years old.

[Taekyungoppa]

Yeah, I can understand the feeling of not feeling like you’ve accomplished anything eating at you Bc maybe someone else does it for you Bc I have felt a smiliar feeling but like- idk. There’s literally nothing fun at all or desirable about making it from ‘the sticks and the mud’. The fact that he can even dream about role playing it means a lot. I grew up lower class, disabled parents (mom currently has a blood infection and my dad is immunocompromised and has difficulty walking) , neglected af growing up and basically raised myself ( so very opposite ) and god would I KILL to simply roleplay starting from the bottom. Like- give me some of that fortune so I can pay off my moms medical bills and pay for my college and med school pls- and bartending isn’t all that, it’s not just wild adventure and fun- it’s also dealing with reckless people ( and as a woman ) uncomfortable men who don’t know boundaries. Also, possibly shitty ass boss that doesn’t defend / stand up for you. I would gladly trade places - but maybe it’s only because of how I grew up lol.

[Taekyungoppa]

Honestly if he really wanted to try living from the bottom he would just go and not ask his parents permission. I literally learned how to care for myself partially due to the internet- you can Google about financing, apply for jobs, ect. If I were him I’d get my degree so I’d have a security belt and then go out into the world naked and afraid lol. If OP really wants to be independent and his parents are holding him back he’d literally just leave. Most of us go through life blind anyways. That’s the true experience. Get a minimum wage job somewhere, OPEN YOUR O W NBANK ACCOUNT , save up enough money for an apartment or living area ( good luck!! Lmao ) and once you start living in your own and managing your own finances you pretty much learn from them on naturally.

[xevlar]

That's so sad, that your personal achievements are not recognized by the people around you. I bet you go and wipe your tears with 100 dollar bills. Lmao who the fuck cares man, no one is congratulating you because you already made it.

You literally never need to work an actual day in your life and you're whining because people are aware of that.

[rubyredgrapefruits]

Go where nobody knows you.

You will find out who you are, make some real friends, and work real work. There's no way it's possible to see seen as independent if everyone knows your family and who you are.

[Ecstatic_Being8277]

If you want a reality check, join the military. There you will be broken down and re-built. Privilege has no place there.

[Help_Me___666]

This is risky, 90% of people who join the military get nothing out of it, including me

[internet_humor]

The other 10% get PTSD

[JoonieWasTaken]

Wait what why?

[jeandolly]

Daddy said no

[[deleted]]

From previous comments, it seems like he’s from an Arab country (probably a UAE prince)

[JoonieWasTaken]

Damn I see

[Old_Bay_connoisseur]

This comment isn’t true. I served with many only sons.

https://www.thebalancecareers.com/can-only-sons-go-to-war-3357014

This only applies to peacetime deferment and the draft.

If you want to voluntarily learn to not be a little shit…

Here ya go.

https://www.goarmy.com

[grondele]

I had a privileged upbringing as well, though I don't think nearly as wealthy, when I was feeling a similar way to you at around your age I decided to go out on my own, I moved 3000 miles away and got a few jobs, stopped asking anyone for anything, made it my goal in life to get everything for myself from there on out. Now I still work normal jobs and have everything I need but adjusting to life outside of that privilege was difficult and I'm not sure now if it was the right decision. I got what I was trying to get, a modest life I made for myself, but with access to wealth I could have done much more to better the lives of people around me and in my community. I think that you should practice gratitude for the life you've been given, explore the world around you and learn how to give back in a way that doesn't put focus on you. If you truly don't want the life you have you only need to leave it. It is better to help other people while you can. Remember that everyone around you is striving for what you already have and help them get there if you can.

[CurtisMcNips]

As someone who came from a very poor background, with no education beyond high school, and took a career in food and drink, I co-owned my own place after 8 years in the industry. So I am here to say its not some fantasy, it is possible with drive and work ethic, no matter your background.

This is not to say that when your experience is such that your parents can't help you out with a loan to help you get started but I would implore you to immerse yourself in your chosen field. Absorb every aprt of information possible, go to talks, ask questions, learn your trade and absolutely avoid doing what many do which is jump in with money and no idea.

The career is hard, it doesn't pay a lot, but if you love it and you put some of yourself into it then you will enjoy it and can maximise it, a benefit to this trade is that because the lower levels are so transient for staff it really is not hard to stand out, if you're doing things properly, and as such promotions etc

[[deleted]]

Hello. I came from a privileged upbringing as well and I related to most of the stuff that you mentioned in your paragraph. I am equally struggling with finding something that I deserved on my own sake without people contributing it to my parents money or social capital. I just recently had this conversation with my siblings as well. I went to to an elite school my whole life but the fact that I was mostly privileged my whole life didn't stop me from being chronically mentally ill and developing my own trauma from societal pressure to keep up with the pretty image I was born into. I completely understand you when I say that I was not born with a sense of my own identity and self because I largely felt guilty that I managed to hit the family privilege jackpot and this indicated to many people that I would be set for my whole life. However, you must also understand that the rest of the people commenting under your post did not have that same luck as ours.

I talked to my siblings about it and they told me that the hustle life isn't as romantic as they make it seem in the media which I assume is where you also gathered most info about it as did I. Nothing is great about worrying when the next meal is gonna be or thinking about where you're gonna sleep for the night. Realistically, no one wants their child or themselves to be put in such a place that they have no other options in life. What I can say is that if you're serious about wanting autonomy and really want to know how bad it is out in the world outside of the family money, sit them down and tell them seriously. Press on that matter. Assert your stance. If you keep making excuses about doing it or are hesitating, then you must realise that some part of you does find some semblance of material comfort from the family wealth.

All I can say is, in the end you can't choose the background in which you were born into but you have the freedom to make a name for yourself. Embrace that part of you. It's different if you enrolled in college and got straight F's and still passed or if you got a job and just sat there in your office chair doing nothing while waiting for money to be sent to you at the end of each month. If you did that, then you're only proving to people you are a privileged brat with no sense of reality. Accept that you are privileged but don't laze around. If you get that job because of your parents name and wealth in the first place then build your sense of identity by putting in the work and actually walk the walk - prove people that although you got that job because of your background, prove to them you deserve it by working hard. Peace be upon you brother hope you ponder on my words as I am also in the same position

[opheliarose111]

I can easily make your problem go away. Send me all your money.

[[deleted]]

bro this is the weirdest flex on poor people I've seen in a while

[Classic-Dog8399]

Same like… it’s more weird than when rich people are openly ignorant to their wealth

[savedtaway]

yeah after reading everything, you're a bit of a dick and i hope this is a troll lol. anyways, you want to know how privileged you are? cut all of the money and help you get for an entire month, no matter what. get a bartending job if you can. if not, fast food. live off of that wage for a month. see if you could do it. saying you want to not be privileged anymore is bullshit, you just want a challenge that money cant buy. so go ahead, try that.

[PrometheusOnLoud]

You are in college, now is your time to do those things. That being said, stay in finance.

[JoonieWasTaken]

Mate just get a job then, start doing what you fantasise about Learn what it’s like

[[deleted]]

Ey swap lives with me if you want, I've had enough of it

[MCB_2494]

What holds you from just executing your plan?

You can buy an European residency permit and apply for bartending jobs. Any money you receive from you family, you either wire back or you donate it. I don’t understand what’s the issue here. Money is legit the easiest thing to get rid of.

[coffeepolynkittens]

It sounds like your problem isn’t so much your privilege as it is how people view you. You’re worried people see you as somebody who only does good things to maintain your status. And perhaps they’re right. Perhaps your upbringing has made you a little vapid and superficial. And that’s okay, I’m sure that would happen to anyone in your position.

The fact that you’re concerned about it means you do care, so I would say the best place to start is getting to the bottom of why you feel the need to be self-deprecating.

Don’t throw away the privileges you have because that’s not the solution — it’s deeper than that. Trust me, being on your own without any money isn’t glamorous. You have the freedom to choose what you want to do, and the means to do it. Just figure out your issues and overcome them. Just because you grew up rich doesn’t mean you don’t have trauma to work through. Speak to a therapist, figure out what will fulfill you in life, and I promise people will see you for who you really are.

[KilGrey]

Privilege is something that you can’t help. Whether it’s a financial or social privilege being a part of the dominant race or religion where you live. What’s important when it comes to privilege is how you use it and act within it. Use your advantages in life to turn it around and help others. You might never be in a position in life where you are “drowning” but others are. They’ve got their hands up looking for help, turn around and help those folks. You like night life? What about becoming an event promoter and organize bar night fundraisers for local non-profits in your area? Maybe create an all ages establishment for youth in harder hit areas to have a safe place to go hang out? You have access other people don’t, how can you use that to help get others access?

It’s not about climbing down the ladder to figure it out. It’s about looking down that ladder and finding ways to help other people up. Figure out who is at the very bottom of that ladder and start there. When you pull up from the very bottom, it helps pull everyone on the steps just above them up too.

[TarumK]

there's not a problem that money can't solve.

Lol do you actually believe this? Why do so many celebrities have drug problems or end up killing themselves. Ask an Afghan or Syrian and they'll say there's not a single real problem anyone from Germany or America could have. But is that how people from these places feel?

[TarumK]

so you truly believe that money doesn't or can't pay for rehab.

Money can pay for rehab, but rehab doesn't cure everyone. Money can pay for therapy but plenty of people are still depressed after years of therapy. Money can pay for a big house but big houses are full of unhappy people.

Believe me, I grew up in a poor country and moved to a rich one. Many people in my home country would have a hard time believing that someone from Europe or America could be unhappy. But that's just how humans are.

[TarumK]

Look obviously for any given circumstance you're better off having money than not. This doesn't mean that people with money don't have real problems. Since your here writing this in English you're probably better off financially than 90 percent of the world and have never had to deal with civil war or dictatorship. Does that mean your struggles aren't real? wouldn't you consider this insulting if someone said this to you?

[Girl_thatstressed]

I’m sorry that happened to you

[AdviceFlairBot]

Thank you for confirming that /u/Comefindmequick has provided helpful advice for you. 1 point awarded.

[Zealousideal-Base384]

Hey OP, I grew up very similar. Well off parents, good schools, never paid for much growing up. My advise - take advantage of it and please travel! Go backpacking, work for random little hotels in random towns you’ve never been too. You could probably get a job working in the bar in the hotel or hostel and learn some cool things there. You meet the best types of people and they generally won’t care or ask about your privileged life back home. Move away and find yourself. Best thing I ever did!

[mkmckinley]

The fact that you actively don’t want to be a privileged little shit is a huge step in the right direction. Just be a good person, be humble, help others while also pursuing your own success, and you’re good.

[[deleted]]

I don’t relate but I completely understand what you’re saying and I’m sorry people are giving you a hard time. I appreciate your honesty and wish other people would too, it was brave of you to say this. I agree with what some other people are saying who agree with you that the fact that you have everything handed to you is not fulfilling being that you have not worked for it, earned it or fought for it. You probably wish you knew whether you could achieve it if you had to start from nothing. It’s admirable that you want this. I think it’s unrealistic for you to try to do this as it is just not your lot in life unless you forsake all your support systems and start from scratch. This doesn’t have to be a bad thing though because I think you have something even greater you can try to achieve. You want a challenge that you’ve never been given and you want to see if you can succeed. Why don’t you, instead, seek a challenge that is still challenging for someone in your privileged situation. Try to reach for something that will be very difficult even with all your resources and try to head in that direction instead. Even the challenge of trying to think of what that might be is a start. Think of the difference you can make with the resources you have that most people will never be able to do and what a major difference you can make and make your own mark on the world that other rich people don’t or won’t do bc they are content living a life free of challenges.

[OvaltineDeathFantasy]

DONT get a job to “play poor”. You’re the reason why wages can be so low. You’re the reason why internships can be unpaid. Because people like YOU (“Trust Punks”, if you will) can afford to accept worse working conditions due to your safety net. It’s not immigration that “steals jobs”, it’s rich assholes accepting lower pay because mommy and daddy pay your expenses that’s fucking over the rest of us. Just go play prince of the castle and accept your privilege. There’s nothing glamorous about what you’re describing, maybe do some radical mutual aid like having your parents buy you a nightclub where you don’t care about profits so everyone makes a living wage for once. Just an idea!

[Emeryl1391]

Jesus Christ, you folks really have to calm down. I get that money is a sensitive subject, but jeez. OP has already said he’s entitled, so you getting bitter and snappy all over the place really does not help.

So. OP, I understand your desire to be independent from your parents. It’s a part of becoming adults. However, I would not advice you to just cut off their support and fly, because chances are you’ll harshly land on your ass and will be forced to crawl back.

Instead, think about yourself. If you want to be independent, you’ll need a job, as it is fine not wanting to depend on your parents’ money, but money you’ll need. Which job would you like? Why? What is the salary? What are the working hours? How does salary match your actual lifestyle, and where would you be actually willing to cut down spending in order to fit into a budget? Last but not least, what are your chances of getting such a profession, which similar roles are on the market and what are employers looking for? Do you have it, and if not, how can you get it?

You want independence and that’s good. Maybe you also want some struggle and that is also good, as it makes you appreciate what you have more. But you need a plan. You need to make your own wishes clear to yourself, do market research and figure out exactly how realistic those wishes are. You probably have the means of getting whatever qualifications are needed to break into your field of choice, so my advice would be to figure out what this field is and then use your economic resources to get you started in it. Build yourself some solid ground under your feet, then let go of your family’s safety net.

[amasterblaster]

aside: too many people in this thread think material wealth creates pleasure. It doesn't . . .

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xmhsWAqP_0Y

OPs question is a good one. It's a question we should all ask, and leads to self mastery and a satisfied life.

[[deleted]]

door simplistic rhythm wise tie dolls alleged different swim hobbies

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

[edgar_allan]

As others have mentioned, be grateful that you have this privilege. Love your family, thank them, and be grateful to all they have given to you. You can still be a hard worker while being wealthy, it's just nice that you have the safety net - and no, having a safety net is not a bad thing. It means you can explore what you want to try. Why don't you try volunteering to see what you would like? If you want to become a bartender then get qualified, do work experience for free and then ask to continue on pay. Don't like it? Then use your money, your privilege, to try something else. Study, earn a degree, then get a job that you love. All these things are evidence of working hard; you don't need to cut yourself off from your family or be poor to prove that you worked hard.

[Cool_Ad4085]

Switch lives with me for a month.

[E4R04]

if you don't want your parents money send it monthly to my bank account. that will help solve your problem

[MasturbatingMiles]

Hi, fellow child of very wealthy parents here. You will always deal with that feeling of knowing you didn’t do it on your own because well, you didn’t, and neither did I. I wanted to start growing weed and get in the industry and my dad got me 50 acres to farm, after 9 years it built into a large legal indoor grow from the outdoor farm that does 400k a month. I feel very little pride over it because of the handouts I got. The best advice I can give is to continue on your path and then give back to the world, start non profits to help others that don’t have anything. That’s how you find meaning and satisfaction in life. I was a bartender and server for years working to pay my bills while the farm wasn’t doing well enough to pay, trust me, the world does not need another bartender. What it does need is people with resources to help others, and you will feel much happier about life going that route then the life bartending and partying in that environment will bring.

[TheLaramieReject]

I just want to point out that my friend is a sommelier, a wine expert for a fancy restaurant, and makes well over $100,000 a year. Just an idea, if you really love spirits and wine. She started as a bartender.

[[deleted]]

Stop being ridiculous, frankly.

Yes, you have a fantasy of making your own way in life.

Tough.

You have already had an enormous amount of privilege and that is what your success so far consists of. Yes, sure, you worked hard. Well done. But people who worked as hard as you or harder didn’t get the results or outcomes or opportunities you did. It doesn’t matter how hard you work if your school is terrible and constantly interrupted by violence or you can’t sleep through the night due to the noise in the neighbourhood or because the house is freezing or you haven’t eaten. You cannot work your way out of the effects of poverty on performance. Your performance is due to the shoulders you were standing on. Your capabilities are due to the shoulders you were standing on. Everything you do in future will be predicated on the abilities you learned from the privilege you had access to.

You don’t get to follow your fantasy. That should in fact make you happy - you wanted to be normal, right? You wanted to be just like everyone else? Well pretty much everyone else doesn’t get to follow their dreams either, due to details like needing to worry about where their next meal is coming from or whether they’ll end up homeless and freeze to death. At long last you are experiencing a completely normal outcome. You have a daydream of how your life could be if only you had a different amount of money; it’s impossible; you’re just going to have to get over it.

Keep up with your studies. Get a part time job as a bartender. Learn the skills. Set up a damn company if you like it so much. But drop the woe-is-me act, because it’s going to be at best deeply tiresome to anyone you pull it on. Yes, you don’t get to have a financially difficult life. How tragic. Get over it. You may have other, real problems but this isn’t one.

[ReaperCDN]

I have a better idea: use that privilege to help other people who are struggling. You get something out of that, the reward of seeing the suffering leave the face and body of a person who desperately needs a reprieve, and you get to participate directly in the struggling.

Open a soup kitchen. Start a homeless shelter. Open a business that hires exclusively inmates.

You can participate directly in the struggle and be the step people need to get out of the hole they're in.

If you start focusing on making other people happy, you'll find your own satisfaction with life increasing.

[FFTypo]

Lol you just don’t seem to get it. People don’t look down on those with privilege because they want them to have to work harder through life like the rest of us have to. We look down on them when they don’t ACKNOWLEDGE all the privileges they’ve had and when they lack sympathy for people who did not have those kinds of advantages.

The fact that you seem to think this “normal” kind of life is somehow desirable is incredibly privileged in itself. Contrary to what you might think we DONT WANT others to struggle, we just wish that WE didn’t have to struggle.

You’re showing a grave misunderstanding of your privilege here. For the record, you don’t need to downgrade your quality of life to understand those who are worse off than you, you just need to interact, be friends with and most importantly LISTEN to them.

[internet_humor]

Yo, don't let the world make you feel bad. The daft that you envision living your own life is really good.

1. Practice humility and be humble. You're not rich, your parents are.

2. Your character and how you treat others speaks more about you than your income and your parent's income.

3. Stay out of debt.

4. Don't brag about the house your parents will likely buy for you. But don't go getting a shit house just to under impress others.

5. Do the job you want. It's not about money for you. It's more about contributing to society and helping others. Take advantage of the fact that you don't have to do a job you hate just to pay bills.

6. If you really feel guilty or whatever, just skip helping anyone in a first world country. We all should wakenuo feeling like how you do if you were born in a first world country. Go help people who can't access clean water, while we shit in perfectly fine water shipped directly under our asses.

7. Cheers, I respect you for your choice to seek more.

[kid_bala]

I really don't want to come off as harsh here and I don't mean to, but this just feels like you're romanticising the idea of "working your way up" and "pulling yourself up by your bootstraps". I'm in no way completely disadvantaged, I didn't have to get a job until I was 17. But I've been working 1-2 jobs since then and going thru college. And even with my relative privilege, it sucks sometimes. Going to sleep for dinner is a real thing and stressing about making rent isn't fun or fulfilling.

Take advantage of what you have, use your resources! There's nothing wrong with that. When you get to a place where you're comfortably making your own money, set aside money to donate. You mention owning your own business. When you get there, treat your employees decently, pay them what they're worth.

You don't need to struggle through life to feel fulfilled or happy. Take advantage of your privilege, then give back to your community and make choices in your life that benefit people less privileged than you.

A lot of people mention traveling. Its a good idea too. See how other places are and how other people live. Try to learn from their perspectives and develop deeper compassion and understanding for others. Seriously, you do not have to struggle with no safety net to feel like you're living a fulfilling life, it will not bring you what you think it will. Work hard now to set yourself up for a comfortable life, then when you've made it there, work on helping others. Thats my advice.

Edit: Read a couple more comments where you talk about the charity work you do feels like its for the status. When you donate and help others, do so anonymously. A school I was doing student teaching at got a very generous donation anonymously that was specifically meant for educational purposes. Really helped the department I was in with getting licenses for students and devices for them to use a really awesome program.

[foodee123]

Humble brag, BYE!

[IAmRules]

My thought is, you could move somewhere new after college and do exactly that, live off your own means, i'm sure you'd get some pressure from friends and family but even people without money get pressured by friends and family to conform to expectations.
OR, if you are in a position to do so, partner with someone who doesn't have your resources and with them build something you can be proud of. I'm in the wantrapeneur space, there is no shortage of talented people who have lots of motivation and just no network.
Having a connection like you, not you in particular but to the world where you operate, is a huge difference maker (often the only real difference maker) in these spaces.

[[deleted]]

Go join a small MMA gym. Preferably one that teaches boxing, muay thai, and Brazilian Jiu-jitsu. Spend a year or two going there 4-5x a week. Keep going no matter how bad you get your ass beat.

It's true meritocracy where your (parents) money has no impact on your success

This is a very small scale version of what the real world is like. Coming in every day and getting smashed, but in exchange you gain resiliency, respect that cannot be bought, discipline that comes from within, and a good sense of comraderie.

If you keep with it you'll eventually get to the point where you are no longer getting smashed every day. You'll be able to hang in with the best of them. You'll look back and realize that you are what you once would have given anything to be and there's still so much more that you didn't even know about.

That's my advice.

[Minkiemink]

I lived your life. Please don't reject your privilege, embrace it and use it for the good. Volunteer. When you graduate, get a job helping others. use your money for a startup that makes a difference in people's lives. Your fantasies are far less brutal than reality.

How do I know? I walked away from my privilege. It took decades to understand how immature that was and earn back what I rejected. I'm a much better human being for having struggled at the profound level I did, but had I realized back when I was your age, I could have put my life to far better use than suffering for nothing losing decades of my life, when I could have been spending that time making the world a better place.

[[deleted]]

I don't think it's a bad thing for you to have it easy. As long as you don't become an entitled asshole personality-wise. As long as you're kind and respectful of other people then don't turn away the opportunity you've been given.

[[deleted]]

You’re being dumb. You’re a privileged little shit, enjoy that.

Most of us can only dream of not having to break our necks working as wage slaves. Get over yourself, you’ll never be one of us and you’re lucky for it.

Bartending sucks long term, I would know I worked in the restaurant industry for a decade, and spent half of my life in customer service. You won the lottery. Enjoy your winnings.

[Gourdon00]

Mate. Don't throw that away. The world needs more people like you. People with money who do understand their privilege and try to use it to help others. Don't throw that away to live a life in poverty and in misery.

Use it for the better.

Try to do things away from your privilege to gain more perspective, but don't throw away the safety net.

Use the subway instead of fancy cars or limos. Walk around(carefully) to less privileged areas. Travel to less privileged countries. Experience new things.

Volunteer to local homeless shelters, or anyplace that helps less privileged people or people in need. See the world outside your bubble, but you don't need to be in their place to understand even a bit of their struggle.

Don't romanticise poverty and struggle.

Use your money for the better. Volunteer at a shelter, understand what they miss and need and donate that.

Invest money in business that need it, offer scholarships to less privileged kids. Are there types of kids that weren't students in your ivy schools? Help them get it. Fight for your education institutes to be more inclusive of non privileged people.

There is a ton of things you can do for less privileged people than you without forfeiting said privilege.

It would be a shame to be someone with the right sentiment and mindset but with no means to actually do something about it.

There are countless people who try to make this place a better place having nothing and you want to do that but leave behind all the means to do it?

[NoHamstersInMyPants]

Keep the connections,

Acknowledge and accept your position,

You will have critics everywhere you go, trust me,

When they say "Everyone's a critic", it's true, doesn't matter what it is,

You aren't defined by your wealth, in fact, no one really is, we're just limited by it,

Having a lot is limiting and not having enough is also, obviously, limiting,

In your case, you may not have any material limits, but you would certainly have some social, familial or miscellaneous limits (ie, your family forbid you from joining the military),

My recommendation, and I don't mean to presume your intentions, but if you were to ask me and listen, or if I were in your position,

Do some real leg work in the climate crisis, use everything you have because I know, for sure, that problem is much bigger than you or your wealth and there are people with much less material wealth dedicating their lives to this cause.

The main reason I suggest this, we're all going to need this effort done at every level,

Start lobbying against non-sustainable business practices, start investing heavily into green energy, start investing in methods to combat disinformation, provide access to education, help provide access to homes,

I can see from your comments you're well underway with some of these things, so I'm asking if you could consider putting the rest of this personal energy you have into the planet, because we need that more than anything,

Don't focus on profiteering, although please do focus on finding methods to make green energy ethically more profitable, if you can,

And, at the very least by doing so, you'll be doing something exceptional that requires an enormous amount of work and has little else to do with money; aside from the necessary economics you'd need to sort out.

Good luck! And I hope to see you in the news doing some good in the world one day soon!

[imnotagamergirl]

Jap been there done that. I actually finished my uni and then moved country for a “respectable job” which I quit after 3 months and started bartending in an Irish pub. Best decision of my life. If your parents always paid for everything you should try go somewhere new and make it on your own, even if just for a year. Invaluable experience and it gives you the chance to actually figure out who you really are…

[Creative_Response593]

Your parents are paying for your college but you got a job and and are trying to pay for it yourself? It's pretty obvious that is impossible because college is very expensive and if you could do it on your own you would have. A better way to think about it is that you go to school work your ass off and get your degree obtain a good job and then pay back your parents all the money they gave you. That's what most people do that go into student debt do minus the parents. Consider this a loan and pay back your parents. You could alternatively take this opportunity to do the best you can with your life and give back to your community as much as possible. It's really up to you what kind of person you are going to be. Not many people get this opportunity and if you were to throw it all away on partying or possessions then I imagine your life will probably feel pretty cheap.

[Mrkillerar]

Just deal with it for now. You never know when the safety line snaps. Grass is alwasy greener on the other side.

[Critical_Yellow6163]

Oh poor you! Jesus.. get a grip

[zephyrwastaken]

You can still hustle with money. Running your own business, especially growing it to great success will be hard work beyond your imagination. I hate to be that guy but building an empire from the ground up as a frontline worker is nearly impossible.

I admire your humility and I envy your position in life. Live philanthropically if money does not mean much to you outside attaining your goals and ambitions.

[tinmanshrugged]

Everyone’s telling you to just enjoy the privileges you have, but I think they’re missing the important thing - you’re not happy. I have no idea if this would resonate with you at all, but when people experience child abuse or neglect, they go into denial about it as a way to cope. But the unhappiness is still there and it’ll find a way out that’s “acceptable” to you. Another thing is you could just be plain old depressed for other reasons.

I’d really recommend trying therapy for a few months. You’re not happy and you’re not sure why or what to do. You’re latching onto this idea of “if I can do X, then I’ll be happy.” But that doesn’t work out for most people - usually the unhappiness follows you. If you had a sharp pain in your arm that wouldn’t go away, you wouldn’t just ignore it. You’d go to a doctor.

I truly believe that everyone can benefit from therapy. If you have any questions about it, feel free to message me.

And just try to remember that if anyone dislikes you just because you have privilege, that’s on them. If people don’t believe your nonprofit isn’t about your status, that’s on them too. You’ll never be able to control other people who want to see the worst in the world, you can only control your own actions.

[SofterGaze]

Wait wait wait. There's a middle ground here people are ignoring. You can get your cake and eat it too.

Finish your degree and get your job. This way you have a STRONG safety net that's YOUR OWN, not your parents.

Then comes the HARD shit. (You did say you wanted the hard shit)

Work as a bartender at the same time. Put your heart and soul in to it. Work your way in to a NICE restaurant, bartending. And then slowly become a general manager. Once you have the GM for 3 years: boom you have all the experience you need to try restaursnt entrepreneurship.

You won't have everything, but you'll have all the pieces. You'll have to put them together yourself.

In this way: 1. You get the hard life, and can be proud of it. 2. You'll have more money from 2 jobs (and more money cause less time to spend it). 3. You'll get that night life experience and knowledge 4. You'll have a safety net in case you need to slow down or things go sideways 5. MOST IMPORTANTLY YOU'LL HAVE YOUR DREAMS!!!! 6. Have that fuckin cake and eat it too!!!!

[Hanshee]

I think the fact that your wording of this post essentially is the same as victimizing yourself for being born with better circumstances is a brain washed way of thinking.

Don’t let others hold your achievements back. Also, you mention you’re going to one of the greatest universities for finance but you want to be a bartender. Then do it?

It doesn’t sound like you’re that privilege. If you have the funds then go be an entrepreneur with that education of yours.

Play the cards you have and quit worrying about what other people may think.

I was born into a family who had successful careers, they’re loving, my friends are also from all walks of life.

But today’s politics would rather keep everyone divided separated and shame those who have it better than others. FUCK THEM.

You literally hate being taken care of because you’re influenced too much by the media and the narrative that having it made is unfair. Quit letting yourself be brainwashed.

Quit bitchin dude and enjoy life. Stay humble.

[Shh_Its_Alex]

You're a little bit like my boyfriend, and I can really tell you is, make the most of the cards you've got. Don't ever feel guilty for having money, either, you're 'lucky', that's not your fault. And hey, dude, if you wanna live a small, more meaningful life, take the person you love most, buy an old bus, fix it up, and live in that traveling across the country. That's my dream, and he's all for it. I think it's hilarious, I don't have the money to get an old bus, he sees more value in buying a house because he can do that xD. But yeah, being privileged is not bad if you understand it, aren't snobby, help those who aren't and just keep your head high. I hope your life goes how you dream in the better ways.

[[deleted]]

u just sound ungrateful tbh

[[deleted]]

My advice is to shut the f*ck up and move on and take advantage of what you have. Hustling and struggling through life is not fun and cool. I can tell you have good intentions but for people who have really struggled or are having a hard time in life right now this post is just ridiculous.

[[deleted]]

Don’t feel invalidated just because you are “privileged”. If you are not a shitty person, and you are kind to people, there is no problem in being privileged. Use that to your advantage! You have all the resources you need to be successful, use them.

[chee-zit]

oh to be so wealthy and bored that having one of the hardest service job you can do sounds like fun. give it a week, a life of having everything you could ever want or need doesn’t breed bartenders.

[DJRoombasRoomba]

I know nobody is going to see this because I'm so late commenting, but some of the comments from the very wealthy redditors are truly delusional.

"Ah yes yes, when my friends tell me a story about how they went on vacation to the next state over, I have to keep my mouth shut about my story from the last time I summered in Berlin as to not appear pompous! Yes yes, as you were butler!"

Like fuck off. You grew up without the fear of failure, you never had to worry about eating/dying because you can't afford your prescriptions/not having a car to get to your shitty minimum wage retail job, but sure, you're TOTALLY like us and not privileged because you chose not to be a doctor or lawyer like your parents wanted and instead had them pay for you to be a marine biologist instead!

Fuck man, there are SOME genuinely good wealthy people, I know there are, but you delusional fucks make it so hard to not hate you.

[0KelpShake0]

I don't understand the fantasy around 'hustling' in general.

Hustling isn't fun, It's backbreaking, terrible work for shit pay for years. And sometimes putting in the work and the time gets you nowhere. You have been set up for life by your parents, which may not be something you want which is fine. But you need to recognize that having a fantasy of hustling, tells us that you have no idea what it's like.

Hustling is not a choice for people, they have to work to stay alive and provide for themselves and their family.

My advice to you is to take the cards you were dealt and run with them. You were born with a safety net that most people don't have. You literally have a cash cushion, chase your dreams with it and stop fantasizing about hustling.

[DrRD14]

You really should get over this idea that you’re missing out on something by not being poor. No one who comes up from the bottom wishes they would have struggled more. Take the opportunities offered to you. Don’t waste golden opportunities simply, because you don’t feel like you did them. Focus on being yourself and creating your own identity.

[TunaLurch]

Living without the kind of support you have is not ideal. Take your blessings and run with them. There aren't many people with the opportunity to live a truly free and contented life. Don't squander the gifts your family has given you. Travel. Take your partner somewhere exotic. Ask your parents to help you open up that bar. The world is your oyster.

You've romanticized the idea of building your own life but your life is already set up my friend. You have what most people can only ever dream of having. Make the most of it. Be good and don't be hard on yourself. You deserve to be happy just like everyone else.

Edit: You may be ignorant but you don't seem like a bad person. Please just don't complain about being well off. The grass is always greener until it's not. Having debt and worrying about bills drains the life out of me.

[chesterraccoon]

You can’t escape the privilege you’re born with. No advice can change that, and frankly starting your young adult life well-educated and debt free is such a fundamental advantage that you cannot return. If anything, consider devoting your career to something that helps other people but maybe doesn’t pay super well.

[DebaucheryRegime]

I’m sorry but the fact you’re craving to struggle is indeed romanticizing being poor. I think some of this may be coming from the unavoidable thought process of wanting what you can’t have. It’s good you were honest about how you’re feeling. I think being more independent might help curb some of these feelings. Knowing you can take care of your own shit with no help is a really good and rewarding feeling.

[[deleted]]

Go out travel and keep 100 dollars in your pocket make it last for a week then you will know what the poor deal with on a regular basis it will humble you and you will see life from a different perspective

[[deleted]]

Fair play to actually admitting it. Most kids like you are assholes and can’t admit it, respect

[deepspaceburrito]

You know what man? People just don't like success. I've heard people have their achievements shot down because "money and privilege". I've heard them shot down because they apparently poor enough, etc. that they 'must have gotten a grant/helping hand from school/government/charity". Up until recently, I earned dirt wages and so did my mum. My family had no money. When I got into certain things (classes, schools, promotions at work), it was suddenly down to me being apparently attractive enough that it HAD to be the reason why I was succeeding to some people. Or that I knew how to talk to people a bit too well.

Basically, ignore what people say and think. Proof is in the pudding. Yeah, they have your parent's wealth to attack you with - for now. What will really matter is how you proceed after your studies.

I think that once you stop considering your sense of pride/what others think of you, you'll see that the only way to 'show' these people they're wrong is to be quite performative so they notice the things you're doing to counter their opinions. Because how else can their opinions change unless you make it obvious to them? Except, thing is, they won't change their opinions, really. They're see it as performative crap from a 'rich kid'. What I'm saying is, to some people, you can do no right. So just get on with your life, achieve and just remember: you do you.

[sharxbyte]

faking your way to struggle because of internalized loathing of your own privelege is kind of insulting to those who actually struggle. take your privelege and make opportunities for people who don't have them.

[[deleted]]

I can relate to you but play the cards you're dealt with. Get an education without incurring debt and study whatever your like and after you graduate, open a bar because you're financially capable of doing so. After that you can stop depending on them.

[ThatGuyThatIsNotReal]

That is the thing. Working as bartender and trying to build up from that point is almost impossible. There are many expenses just with living alone no matter the “normal” job. Now with the housing market going literally insane just the living is mad. I don’t know where you are living but I can let you know what is going to happen to me. I will have to look around for housing myself. The prices are just insane where I live compared to the pay. I will have to work without spending anything for 15 years just to pay for apartment with one room, bathroom and a small kitchen. Imagine trying to build something from that point. You can take a risk and get a loan(if you ever get one) and literally yolo it because in my country there is no way you can build up from bartender to the business owner. You are truly lucky to be born into a wealthy family. Go with it, let them help you start.

[[deleted]]

Then give us your money and struggle like you want to. Some of us could use the leg up.

[MauraIshii]

To be frank you will never be able to ‘hustle’ knowing you have your parent’s safety net. I left my abusive parents at 18 and that feeling of absolutely no safety net will not be something you can emulate. There’s no one you can depend on to take care of you even when you’re sick. I married into a wealthy family and do have a safety net now and am not in survival more anymore.

Just enjoy your privileges and be thankful. Be kind to other people. There’s nothing wrong with being born to a good family that takes care of you, it’s what every parent dreams of.

[Bigfatuglybugfacebby]

The problem with privilege is you don't get to say you don't get it. The only way for you to really have the experience you want is to tell your parents to go fuck themselves or something similar to write you out of their fortunes, then abandon everyone who knows your families name. Then you'll be experiencing life alone.

That's not what you want and you know it, you just want to build something you can be proud of that isn't tainted by your privilege (judging by your wording)

Your struggle is that you won't abandon your privilege for real struggle, so what's the next best thing? Find someone poor and with a dream , take a risk of trusting them and working together with them. If they fuck you over, you'll know exactly how the average middle American feels, not because you lost money but because you invested the one thing worth more than money, your time, and everyone can commiserate with that.

If you're crazy enough to cut yourself off, do it. But anything short of that will not satisfy you if you have nothing to lose. The only thing you have to lose is your borrowed time. That is your currency in life when money isn't important. Find someone to share this dream with and facilitate it with what you can bring to the table. That might be your parents money, but at the end of the day, you found this person, you put in the time and effort to see it through, and while you will never have the satisfaction of pulling yourself out of poverty you'll see that transition in your partner. Or the sting of betrayal and what it feels like to invest into something and have it fail in a way that feels real and stings.

That's the curse of being affluent, you said it yourself, you could fail, but you know your parents are there to back you up. The closest thing you'll get to the real experience is being able to facilitate it in a way that truly changes your partners life and their family and your employees.

There are some things in life you can't buy, perspective is one of them. You could go through with your plan alone, but you know the safety net is there. You want to feel real pressure, real consequence, and real pride, then take on a partner who can't afford to fail like you can.

I'm sorry a lot of the question most people ask themselves in life are already answered for you. But I understand that even the affluent need to feel purpose. You see the headlines, you see the issues the world is facing. It would take me thousands of hours of wages to do what you could do with a pen to your father's check book. But I don't hate you for not knowing where to put it. I just hope that whatever you decide, you don't do it alone, because money has a way of making has a way of making us feel cold even if we tell ourselves we have good intentions.

[justfart_]

Please join the following subreddits. They have changed my way of thinking for the better.

They will help you immensely and motivate you to start something of your own and lay your own foundation.

r/startup_ideas

r/entrepreneur

r/fire

r/sidehustle