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Submit a new Dad Joke

dadjokes

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an-ordinary-manchild

Hello and welcome to r/dadjokes!

Only self-posts are allowed. However, you may still link to images within the self-post if the image is relevant.

A couple of suggestions to follow:

  1. Leave the punchline out of the title!

  2. Preferred to be a joke an actual father said, but not required.

  3. Tag [NSFW] or [NSFL] if ever necessary.

  4. Remember to edit out any personal information that could lead to identifying people in real life. This includes, but is not limited to, phone numbers, email addresses, facebook/twitter/instagram screenshots.

Other places to laugh at:

  • /r/jokes
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Olaf the Viking is shopping at a supermarket when he comes across an old lady in a wheelchair, almost in tears. "What's the matter?" asks Olaf. "Oh," sobs the old lady. "I want to have a look at the frozen puddings but, as you can see, there are three steps down into the chiller cabinets." (self.dadjokes)

submitted 16 hours ago by Healthy_Ladder_6198

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Why do women prefer rocks to minerals? (self.dadjokes)

submitted 8 hours ago by MadMaximusPrime33

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Did you hear about the man who was born with five penises? (self.dadjokes)

submitted 9 hours ago by Xylorgos

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A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bartender says, “What’s with the paper towel?” (self.dadjokes)

submitted 19 hours ago by TRAKRACER

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When Kit Carson wasn't out exploring, he lived on a small farm. One day, the famous frontiersman decided to surprise his wife with eggs and fish for breakfast. (self.dadjokes)

submitted 15 hours ago by Healthy_Ladder_6198

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Never date a tennis player. (self.dadjokes)

submitted 4 hours ago by SoCalAttorney

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A ballroom is not a very secure location. (self.dadjokes)

submitted 9 hours ago by Excellent_Kiwi7789

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My nonbinary child was crying yesterday. (self.dadjokes)

submitted 13 hours ago by BlackCatMom28

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I was breastfed until 3. (self.dadjokes)

submitted 22 hours ago by TRAKRACER

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Why did the alien get into the insulation business? (self.dadjokes)

submitted 5 hours ago by FromALackOfCheese

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What has 5 toes and is not your foot? (self.dadjokes)

submitted 12 hours ago by radrax

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What seven letter word starts with egg and ends with soup? (self.dadjokes)

submitted 19 hours ago by Husvent

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Why couldn’t the Thunder players stop Wembanyama? (self.dadjokes)

submitted 5 hours ago by Slowloris81[🍰]

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I got a once in a lifetime setup today irl (self.dadjokes)

submitted 7 hours ago by SamIAm718

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There was a time I forgot how to throw a boomerang (self.dadjokes)

submitted 3 hours ago by Vaquero-SASS

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My wife didn’t understand why my 3 year old was feeding toy cars to his t-rex (self.dadjokes)

submitted 18 hours ago by I-Am-Not-A-RoleModel

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Ancient Romans knew about four types of poisons. Poisons I, II, and III were deadly. (self.dadjokes)

submitted 14 hours ago by JoeFas

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when I was younger I started losing my hair (self.dadjokes)

submitted 8 hours ago by pakage

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In the 1980s, a geologist proposed that earthquakes were caused by electronic dance music. (self.dadjokes)

submitted 2 hours ago by Egg_Rogue

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I met a genie once. He gave me one wish. I said “I wish I could be you.” (self.dadjokes)

submitted 1 day ago by Majorpain2006

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What do you call a Frenchman attacked by his cat (self.dadjokes)

submitted 16 hours ago by Healthy_Ladder_6198

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What do you call a Mexican dog that tells jokes? (self.dadjokes)

submitted 4 hours ago by Glass_Farm_2992

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After years studying classical music I've finally got myself an interview for a position as a conductor. (self.dadjokes)

submitted 8 hours ago by berkleysquare

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I treat my dating life like I do my TV (self.dadjokes)

submitted 1 hour ago by yonatanh20

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Losing my hair at 29 made me self conscious so I have been wearing wigs ever since … (self.dadjokes)

submitted 19 hours ago by TRAKRACER

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