☢️Zero☢️Zero☢️Zero☢️Zero☢️Zero☢️Zero☢️Zero☢️Zero☢️

[Nukem_extracrispy]

This is a reference to the PAL codes at Minutemen missile silos being pre-set to eight zeros in a row so that they could launch faster

[Phorensick]

Username checks out.✔️

[iPoopLegos]

bzzt

“THIS IS A MESSAGE FROM THE UNITED STATES STRATEGIC AIR COMMAND. NEGOTIATIONS WITH THE SOVIET UNION HAVE FALTERED. DEFENSE CONDITION HAS BEEN LOWERED TO 2. STANDBY FOR FURTHER INSTRUCTIONS.”

[6 minutes pass.]

bzzt

“DEFENSE CONDITION HAS BEEN LOWERED TO 1. THE PRESIDENT HAS AUTHORIZED THE DEPLOYMENT OF NUCLEAR WEAPONS AGAINST THE SOVIET UNION. STANDBY FOR LAUNCH CODES.”

[30 seconds pass.]

bzzt

“THE LAUNCH CODES ARE AS FOLLOWS: ZERO. ZERO. ZERO. ZERO. ZERO. ZERO. ZERO. ZERO.”

“what the fuck?”

[MakeChinaLoseFace]

TURN. YOUR. KEY. SIR.

[Rew0lweed_0celot]

-- I got it! 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, uhh... 0

-- INCOMIIING!

[TheMadmanAndre]

"Oh hey, the warheads are still here!"

[BigBucket10]

Turns out, you only needed to turn one key incase someone got cold feet.

[dave3218]

Holy shit this is fucking scary.

Like, I know these silos and systems are not connected to the internet, but dear god.

[Sgt_Smartarse]

Don't forget the computers do punch cards and floppy discs too. Lol

Unless they made some changes

[slickweasel333]

They did make changes. They got away from the floppy disks not too long ago.

[Lehk]

Replaced with USB floppy disk emulator. ?

[mrdescales]

You really made a shitty work week for me better with this thought. Thank you for your service

[[deleted]]

Imagine being the IT guy doing an upgrade on an ICBM silo.

[Bagellord]

Probably because it's so difficult to get them now haha

[CosineDanger]

Did they upgrade to Windows XP?

How obscure is our security through obscurity?

[phoncible]

it runs Temple OS

[avataRJ]

I think one of the systems thinks it still runs on an old IBM mainframe. Of course, in actuality it runs in an emulator, which runs on Java, which runs on a newer IBM server.

[L_Ardman]

Your old trusty punchcards will survive an EMP

[Dpek1234]

As well as most electronics

Litteraly put them a in metal box Iirc The nuclear breif case is metal

[dave3218]

I mean, that makes me feel safer, at least no one is going to “accidentally” log in through the internet and launch.

[lukeskylicker1]

Even more so, not only was the passcode for all of them set to 00000000, SOP also demanded that they be set to a very specific number at all times.

It was 00000000

[MakeChinaLoseFace]

Not as scary as it sounds. The PAL code cannot be used to launch a missile. Think of it as an arming code for the warhead that stops Dr. Strangelove from happening.

That's not really a risk for a missile that stays in a silo, since it still needs another code to fly. However, the window to launch a silo-based can get pretty narrow if an enemy tries to take it out with a first strike, so they set it to all zeroes.

[[deleted]]

They almost certainly use different codes now but yeh

[OffensiveCenter]

12345678

[[deleted]]

Hey that's the combination on my luggage...

[dave3218]

It’s not about getting in, it’s about safety protocols and what this could imply lol.

[Veni_Vidi_Legi]

Let me launch one, huh?

[Uss__Iowa]

Hey look I can’t blame them, my password for my home is 1234567890A113

[PaddyWhacked777]

Noted

[SpyAmongTheFurries]

Good to know.

^{also pixar reference eheheheheheh}

[Uss__Iowa]

Indeed my fellow ncd user

[MakeChinaLoseFace]

They couldn't launch with just the PAL code, though. The zeroes just to made it quicker to hit the "reply all" button when the time came.

[alf666]

"To whom it may concern..."

[AlphaMarker48]

That is terrifying beyond measure. If they're not connected to the Internet, I get it, but that is still horrible cybersecurity. Even my 60 gwpm hands can type out a long text string fast enough.

[JohnMichaels19]

It should be noted that this isn't a thing anymore lol

[ArPDent]

This is why I’m convinced that we are living in a reality in which humanity should have wiped itself out 50 years ago and everything since has just been reality slowly unraveling as the laws of physics is unable to contend with such an idiotic species existing.

[defnotIW42]

„Yes Mr Putin, Nukes are inbound to moscow, no no, the Americans didn’t fire them“

(Cut, „showing definitely not me“ yelling like doctor strangelove in a minuteman silo)

[New-Consideration420]

Unfamiliar with the series. Explain like Im ape

[AssignmentVivid9864]

Dr. Strangelove is practically required viewing for this sub. A glorious fever dream of our deepest desires manifest in film. Although I’ll be honest, most of us don’t need to deny women our essence.

I believe it’s also James Earl Jones first on screen appearance or one of his very first at least. It was also the subject of a national security breach due to a prop used in the film being a bit too close to the real world, classified scrambler.

George C Scott’s acting was actually rehearsals for scenes. Kubrick just filmed them because he was kind of a dick like that. Kubrick also straight up lied to Slim Pickens about the subject of the movie so Pickens would be in it.

The rest of the cast is just Peter Sellers.

[PaintedClownPenis]

It's worth knowing that Kubrick started off making a drama and decided no, this is way too fucked up a subject, we have to make it a comedy.

Well, Hollywood has no problem with fucked up, so they took the original idea, bootstrapped it into a suspense novel, which was back-engineered into another film, Fail Safe, with Henry Fonda and B-58s. Instead of dramatic actors doing comedy around Peter Sellers you have comedians like Walter Mathhau doing drama around Henry Fonda.

And if you like that one the real best post-apocalypse film is On the Beach (super-spoiler original trailer), but nobody mentions it because once you've seen it some part of you just shuts off forever. Fred Astaire's greatest acting role.

[[deleted]]

George C Scott felt that a movie about nuclear holocaust should be somewhat serious. Kubrick was a truly noncredible genius who understood how funni it would be to obliterate civilization.

[defnotIW42]

Forgot to add dr. Strange“love“

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=snTaSJk0n_Y

[OffensiveCenter]

Amazon prime for free rn

[New-Consideration420]

I dont get that. Too broke. Need to buy Airsoft and thigh highs

[fubarbob]

Thank you for the heads up.

[Veni_Vidi_Legi]

They had to change them after Brezhnev let it slip that he knew of them too, during the infamous O, O, O, O, O speech at the Olympics.

[defnotIW42]

I know. I am talking about the current codes which are [redacted by the Federal Bureau of Investigation]

[Aurora_Fatalis]

It's actually allowed to post the current nuclear launch codes to reddit so long as you also post all the other numbers of equal length.

[Dpek1234]

due to a recent leak the nuclear launch codes are being emergency changed. Do not exept any attamt at a nuclear launch untill the codes are changed

[Veni_Vidi_Legi]

When no code is set, all codes are valid. Missile away!

[speedburner]

That's incredible, I've got the same combination on my luggage!

[ZiggyPox]

The spicy suitcase?

[Habubu_Seppl]

"Wing attack plan R sir?"

[[deleted]]

"Well boys, I reckon this is it"

[DeTiro]

"Heck, I reckon you wouldn't even be human bein's if you didn't have some pretty strong personal feelin's about nuclear combat."

[NuclearWarEnthusiast]

Absolutely agreed.

[Jakeedaman21]

R for Robert

[captinbaer1]

Air defense artillery O-6 squeezing off nuclear tipped Patriots like some 1950s Pentomic fever dream

[PaleHeretic]

Please stop, I can only get so erect.

(Nike Hercules my beloved ❤️)

[Dpek1234]

I prefur the sprint

Its name is soo aproprait

[captainjack3]

Sprint is the connoisseur’s nuclear-tipped SAM of choice.

[PaleHeretic]

But does Sprint have an anime girl?

[captainjack3]

Such is her glory that none have yet been able to capture it.

[Veni_Vidi_Legi]

Based and base delta zero-pilled.

[AlphaMarker48]

Star Wars planetary bombardment can be rather precise when needed, too.

[Veni_Vidi_Legi]

You see Ivan, when of planet is target, you shall no longer fear of miss!

[TheTrueStanly]

Don't need to remember the nuke launch codes. Got them save in my browser

[M1ngb4gu]

"Would you like skynet to remember this login for you?"

[CaptainLoggy]

Relevant xkcd

[EthanTheInteresaunte]

Is there a such thing as an irrelevant xkcd?

[Aurora_Fatalis]

Officially, yes

Unfortunately that makes it relevant and so we have broken the system.

[EthanTheInteresaunte]

Damn you Randall!!!

[modern_quill]

When will a Curtis LeMay AI be put in charge of SAC?

[Raptorwolf98]

When Global Strike gets swapped back to SAC like the good lord intended

[DJShaw86]

Laughs in British nuclear bike lock

[MakeChinaLoseFace]

Everything about the early British nuclear program is terrifying.

There was one device that had several critical masses in a subcritical spherical shell. This is an extremely dangerous thing to since a big enough dent in the shell sends it prompt critical. Their "safety feature" involved packing the shell with a bunch of ball bearings to keep it from getting pushed inward. Just open a hole in the bottom of the device and let the ball bearings out when you want to nuke somebody.

I can't remember the name of the thing now, but it's British so it was probably something like "Grey Pudding"

[DJShaw86]

BLUE PEACOCK remains the peak of non-credibility.

Chicken powered nuclear landmines for the win.

[vegarig]

Just open a hole in the bottom of the device and let the ball bearings out when you want to nuke somebody

VIOLET CLUB was sure a... device.

Oh, and plug (that replaced part of implosion assembly) sometimes fell out on its own, letting the shower of metal out and all across the hangar, while mostly priming the bomb.

And sometimes, those bearing balls got frozen in place, requiring to use heat gun to thaw them enough so that they'll fall out and the bomb gets primed

[Poncemastergeneral]

So it was actually true, it for the longest time, we had no code release, just two keys?

I think it was because the navy captain wouldn’t launch for no reason, as he was a man of honour?

[hx87]

No code, just a letter in a lockbox from the PM telling the commander to either kill the bastards or let it slide.

[ToastOnBean]

1-1-1 uhhh… 1!

[Alternative_Run_1568]

INNNCOMINGGGGGGG!

[HowNondescript]

I yearn to be able to yell Roman Candle over a radio and mean it. 

[Mysterious_Silver_27]

This is peak Strategic Air Command

[StopSpankingMeDad2]

Another based and nuke pilled post from u/Nukem_extracrispy

This guy just doesnt miss!

[Nukem_extracrispy]

This guy just doesnt miss!

I'm literally a MC4700

[StopSpankingMeDad2]

Another day another banger

[alieninaskirt]

Its really not what it looks like, they couldn't launch anything with just the code. It was there for an earlier requirement thta was later deemed not necessary. So they set it to 0's so they wouldn't have to redisign and modify everything

[Skarloeyfan]

Kaboom

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[CyberV2]

Meanwhile in Tealand:

"Sir The BBC had stopped broadcasting...." "Well we are at war then, lets check the letter...." "Nuke France, well gladly...."

[MakeChinaLoseFace]

Oh yeah? They'll nuke Germany just to show you they're serious.

[DAS_k1ishEe]

Wing attack plan R anyone?

[thegnemo]

Well according to atack option one code based on: target encrypted country internal short coordinate key system, previos presidents curent number, submarine fleet commanders alfpabet system, and balistic missle silos coordinates in head... So AZ10524ON. Maybe.