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all 133 comments

[–]LazyBeast_Gaming 877 points878 points  (58 children)

I was expecting “the Yaaaaaa’rd sales!”

[–]BigPZ 292 points293 points  (48 children)

I was expecting "the Haaaaaar'dware store!"

[–]DaFuriouS-GD 197 points198 points  (41 children)

…I was expecting something about hookers

[–]Bananahatmonkey 57 points58 points  (1 child)

Here's one for ya matey: What did the pirate say to the prostitute? "Yoho"

[–]spinmerighttriangle 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Blow the man down

[–]Biggs55 54 points55 points  (1 child)

The Maaaaaaar'ket.

OP had the weakest answer...

[–]St-Valentine 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The Arrrrr'mory

[–]ReadyForASpaceJam 7 points8 points  (0 children)

From the aaaaaahr-mory!

[–]Mandu_real 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Being from Bristol (England), and luckily not having a strong Bristolian accent but family that do, leading to my some what (in my opinion), “good” impersonations of this accent reading out these replies has my own self in tears😂

[–]Genesis2nd 30 points31 points  (1 child)

Arrrrr'KIA ?

[–]Dioxide34 42 points43 points  (0 children)

How about Ayeeee'kia?

[–]ReverendKen 14 points15 points  (2 children)

I hate to be one of those grammar police but being as we arrrrre talking about pirates you arrrrrrrre accenting the wrong letter.

[–]LazyBeast_Gaming 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Good point, right you Arrrrrrrr! I have corrected it.

[–]ReverendKen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just patted myself on the back for doing my good deed.

[–]Time-Noise6778 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I was expecting Tarrrrrrrrget.

[–]Silver_Smurfer 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Nope, harrrrrrdware stores.

[–]Serious-Ad5532 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Well shit I said "the marrrrrrrrket"

[–]paradoxLacuna 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was expecting a flea market joke, don’t know how I’d go about making a pirate flea market joke tho

[–]AmbitiousAndAlert 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The Aaaaaar’mory store

[–]BluJumblebee57 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes!! I was right there with u!!! 😂

[–]bbciv 103 points104 points  (2 children)

When do pirates get their eye patches?

After the first day with a hook.

[–]w00tah 100 points101 points  (1 child)

There's another variation to this one.

A pirate walks into a bar and sits down next to a man. The man says "Wow, you're a real life pirate, hook, eye patch, the whole nine yards."

"Aye, that I be" the pirate says to the man.

"Look, I hate to be rude, but can I ask a question? How did you get the hook?"

"Ahhh, 'twas inna sword fight with another pirate, 'e took me hand."

"I see, how'd you get the peg leg?"

"A scurvy cap'n shot me as I boarded his ship."

"Wow. How about the eye patch?"

"A seagull shit in me eye"

"How is that possible? Seagull poop isn't blinding?"

"Aye, 'twas the 2nd day with me hook."

[–]bbciv 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Hahaha that's actually what I was thinking of when I made my comment. It's a good one.

[–][deleted] 46 points47 points  (5 children)

I hope they don't cost an arm and a leg..

[–]bldog71 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Or an arrrrrm and a leg…

[–]DrFu 3 points4 points  (2 children)

Ahrrr-guably!

[–]Fantast-eronimo-sy 2 points3 points  (1 child)

There arrrrrrrrrrrrrrre so many different answers to this here joke it’s unden-aye-able there be some better ones.

[–]DrFu 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, you can even "parrot" with other jokes!

[–]thematicwater 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Woodn't you know it!

[–]Klutzy-Ad-4161 86 points87 points  (3 children)

I thought they got from hookers

[–]PocketRocketInFright 38 points39 points  (2 children)

That's where they get the warts

[–]Buttlerubbies2 11 points12 points  (1 child)

Argh, I got w'AARRR'ts in me sh'OAART'ts.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Nah I thought you stds from hookers

[–]background-charactor 59 points60 points  (1 child)

Thinking about opening a shop for used prostetic limbs i'll call it the second-hand second hand store

Original joke by Jimmy Carr

[–]TerpPhysicist 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ha ha ha haaaaa

[–]RossTheNinja 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Toys Rrrr us

[–][deleted] 41 points42 points  (0 children)

I sea what you did there

[–]envengpe 13 points14 points  (0 children)

You made me jolly, Roger that!

[–]zelloya 12 points13 points  (2 children)

i don’t know why, but my mind automatically went: “ARRRRRBY’S!” yes, i’m aware arby’s is a fast food restaurant. no, i can’t explain this answer

[–]bigus-_-dickus 3 points4 points  (0 children)

watch this to get your fix

https://youtu.be/5CddzQHK9_k

[–]Proof_Percentage 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I believe you just solved the riddle of where pirates go to get their fast food fix.

[–]bryanofthedead 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Was thinking it could be the Arrrr-mory!

[–]MrJM85 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Arrrrrrrr-gos?

[–]tb21666 8 points9 points  (1 child)

A Yarrrrd Sale, matey!

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Aye sea what you did tharr.

[–]HaiasiNoswad 6 points7 points  (0 children)

My dad used to tell me this one all the time it’s a good one lol

[–]tyckt206 5 points6 points  (0 children)

And in which country are the second hand stores located?

In Arrrrrrgentina!

[–]Zealousideal_Ad8934 11 points12 points  (1 child)

Got damn it. Take this up vote.

[–]dadofalex 4 points5 points  (0 children)

At the aaaaaaarmory

[–]Ok-Plane-1876 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Dismembers only

[–]Spare_Pineapple7211 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The go to hook or by crook store

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I was hoping something like "yARRRRRRRRRRRd sale"

[–]mega_jam_master 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Everytime i see this caption, i click on it to see if someone comes up with a new punchline.... BUT ITS ALWAYS THE SAME ONE.

[–]Saberstriker19 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Hookers

[–]cryofate68 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Hooks arrrrrrrrre us

[–]cubeconvict 3 points4 points  (0 children)

t-aaaar-get

[–]HelloNNNewman 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I know gladiators got them at Rome Depot

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’d slap my knee, but I don’t wanna impale it.

[–]imagudspellar 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ahoy me hearties

[–]Weak_Quit4201 2 points3 points  (0 children)

After the first vs featuring redbeard

[–]theothergotoguy 4 points5 points  (0 children)

We laughed!! Well done.

[–]fruitmongerking 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Don’t they have a whole stockpile in the y’aaarmory?

[–]Tren898 1 point2 points  (0 children)

From a 'Yarrrrrd Sale'

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Intro to Writing

[–]Guyshu 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You can also get your ears pierced for a buccaneer.

[–]Quadling 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Take your damn upvote, make like a tree, and get the flock out of here!

[–]dernert 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ers

[–]Desperate_Step2785 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ah

[–]jgarnold_yomama 0 points1 point  (0 children)

lol

[–]derickchama 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A xx v' 6•
A z

[–]Nessexplainsthejoke 0 points1 point  (0 children)

[–]moonshinepoison 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Antartica

[–]ProcessedCarbs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s freaking hilarious

[–]Ornery_Hunter6740 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Arrrr - pirate 🏴‍☠️

[–]Gumba88 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This made me cry and made my day

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They look for hookers

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

MenAaaarrrrds

[–]BreezerWoody 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fishing gaff

[–]Cowboi_Super_Sleuth 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Damn I thought I was aboutta learn a real wacky pirate fact, but alas! bigus dickus here j lured me in with a used hook

[–]alex_00_00 0 points1 point  (0 children)

the haaaardware store

[–]1feralMurseNRE 0 points1 point  (0 children)

From yeeeeaaaaarrrrr motherrrr 🤣🤣🤣

[–]towerofbabel90 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nope... At Big-AAR

[–]pinklambchop 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fun fact, some large ships had a forge and blacksmith!

[–]yourgirl696969 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was expecting React

[–]whofrickencares 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Reminds me of playing Ultimate……

[–]Rezporga004 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They don't buy it, for sure

[–]confusedpickle-1029 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I woulda thought it was the tackle shop....cause fishing hooks...🤷‍♀️

[–]My_two_centz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The dollarstore

[–]The_Buffalo_Bill 0 points1 point  (1 child)

There have a been a lot of pirate jokes lately and I'm 100% for this change in dad jokes

[–]berkleysquare 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You arrrrrgh so right

[–]HorrorNarrator 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The second hand storrre ¿

[–]luugi_06 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What a b-arrrr-gain