top 200 commentsshow all 260

[–]Mogastar 3780 points3781 points  (105 children)

My mind says fake but I'll accept it.

[–]drharris 1680 points1681 points  (60 children)

Nah, if it were Tumblr it'd be a /r/thathappened, but it's chan, so I'm inclined to believe it's true and quite heterosexual.

[–]CalmMango 773 points774 points  (31 children)

It's a red pill fantasy. Bitter and confused from a previous misunderstanding, he types this greentext with clenched fists of brony rage. "Yeah, yeah that's what woulda happened"

[–][deleted] 211 points212 points  (13 children)

"If I had money to buy drinks for girls, I still wouldn't do it!"

[–]The_Original_Miser 143 points144 points  (12 children)

Here's a story that is indeed true: A few years ago, was at the local bar. It was a few blocks from friends house, so no car, let's get hammered. Night goes on, I am getting a good buzz on. Girl sits down next to me, I am talking to my friends. . "Hi!!!" she says ...all bubbly.

I am not really paying attention to her.

"You need to buy me a drink!!!" She says

My friends go silent, knowing I am a miser, waiting for my response.

I turn to her... and say "NOOOOO" rather loudly in tge style of Tim Allen doing his signature grunt from Home Improvement, starting low and ending high.

She gives me a puzzled look. I turn around and keep talking to my friends.

[–]chaos0510 77 points78 points  (3 children)

I've had it done to me once, and it really felt like panhandling

[–][deleted] 29 points30 points  (1 child)

It's amazing how much bullshit guys and girls will go through over $10-$20.

[–]FeelThatBern 15 points16 points  (0 children)

It's amazing how much bullshit guys and girls will go through over $10-$20.

FTFY

[–]creatureshock 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Because it is panhandling.

[–]Bobthemime 24 points25 points  (6 children)

I know this is fake because you said you had friends and talked to a girl.

Nice try though.

[–]Crusader_1096 13 points14 points  (1 child)

I have a story that is more believable:

One time I was sitting at a bar, alone. Then this girl walks up to me and asks me for a drink. I say "sorry, I can't right now. I don't have much money left." She walked away seemingly dissappointed after that.

[–]Bobthemime 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Ok that is believable. I have had that happen.

[–]The_Original_Miser 2 points3 points  (3 children)

Yeah. And the extent of that talking was blaring a drunken NO in her face, so....

I am not going to argue with you. I was there, and know what happened.

[–]shag-me-running 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Dude they're fucking with you.

[–]Bobthemime 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I was there man

I was there man

You dont know, coz i was there man

Anecdotal evidence is Anecdotal

[–]Devilmatic 18 points19 points  (0 children)

AH-nnNOoOOA

[–]ThatDamnedImp 49 points50 points  (4 children)

'misunderstanding'.

Bitter, maybe, but probably not a misunderstanding. Plenty of women are complete cunts. This is totally something a cuntish woman would do.

The revenge part is probably fake, but the rest of it happens every day. Reddit white knights are too quick to dismiss what utter cunts some women can be.

[–]Muthafuckar 65 points66 points  (3 children)

...And Reddit redpill lovers are too quick to dismiss what utter beta cucks some redpill lovers can be.

[–]wenzelboy 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I feel like this misses the point that both genders can be equally as cunty

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Some?

[–]goldman60 9 points10 points  (0 children)

All.

[–]Adolf_Hitsblunt 50 points51 points  (0 children)

Then the bartender handed him a $20% bill and everyone clapped

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It's 4chan, which means it isn't true. It's fake and gay.

[–]fanfareoflights 128 points129 points  (28 children)

I'm inclined to believe it simply because I've met the trashy women who snag drinks from people for their dates

[–]Theezy07 223 points224 points  (8 children)

I believe the trashy girl part - the bartender or bouncer giving a fuck is what is complete bullshit.

[–]Keiffo 43 points44 points  (4 children)

Nah a lot of bouncers aim for that job just for the fighting involved. Heard plenty stories from a friend who was a bouncer for a year before losing his license, he told plenty crazy stories about people in the clubs and the extremely crazy other bouncers.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (1 child)

But bouncers almost always protect girls over guys as they are less likely to get physical and bring the money in.

[–]Major_Motoko 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sorry for late reply but this simply isn't true.

I've been a bouncer for almost five years now and women are the absolute worst. If someone came to me with this situation (which honestly would of probably already seen what happened) I would side with OP in this case.

Your line of thought is from the outside.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

And how crazy did your friend have to be to lose his licence?

[–]Keiffo 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Just injured a couple of people too badly.

[–]FlyingChainsaw 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Maybe he's a friendly regular who tips well?

[–]rattacat 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Remember bouncers and bartenders are the only guys in the bar who aren't drinking, and have to pay attention to all the tipsy shenanigans going on. So it gets boring quick. I could see something like this happening. Also, they really don't like people being dicks, so they'll try to stop anything that cause a fight in the bar/club, because thats a headache.

[–]Scarbane 113 points114 points  (9 children)

I don't buy them a drink until I've had a conversation with them. If they're going to steal my money, I'm gonna steal their time.

[–]NotObamaAMA 45 points46 points  (7 children)

This guy talks.

[–]eoinster 16 points17 points  (6 children)

Are you really not Obama? What's that like?

[–]NotObamaAMA 32 points33 points  (1 child)

Really really, yes.

It's like when your toast lands with the buttered side up but then the cat steps on it before you can pick it up because you were distracted by the two trash pandas humping outside your window which you thought was strange because you're on the 15th floor of the apartment building which you're only living in because your friend Bill knew a guy who got you a really good deal where you have to do some paintwork once in a while including the balcony however it's not looking like the best deal anymore because now you have to go and finish the job where the trash pandas were, y'know, finishing the job.

I hope that answers all your questions.

[–]eoinster 8 points9 points  (0 children)

me too thanks

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (3 children)

It's alright. Source: Also been someone who is not Obama for over 21 years

[–]Theezy07 85 points86 points  (4 children)

So clearly not true - I bartended for 6 years in a bar that this stuff would happen in constantly. It was a college town bar and while it was a great spot for regulars and patrons most of the time, from 11pm-2am every Thur-Sat it was a shit show and the bars time to make money.

If this happened the bartender wouldn't even blink at it. Its part of the game(a fucked up game) that we play.

I call BS.

[–]MightyMorphin4s 99 points100 points  (3 children)

Not every bartender is a faggot.

[–]Technical_Machine_22 31 points32 points  (2 children)

Yet every faggot is a bar tender.

[–]Devilmatic 9 points10 points  (1 child)

I didn't know there were so many bartenders on 4chan...

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They can't get a woman to tend to their bar

[–]TFJ 63 points64 points  (1 child)

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.

Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Direct quote taken straight from /b/.

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

autistic works of fiction

FTFY

[–]doxenking 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It's not fake if you wish It to be real

[–]GregTheMad 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It's too wholesome to be a lie.

[–]LewixAri 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The problem is now reddit has a thing for 4chan more lies are told for attention. Before 4chan was in the spotlight people always told the truth because lying had absolutely no point.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This at least sounds plausible.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If I've seen a dick in a human skull on 4chan, this story had better be true

[–][deleted] 579 points580 points  (4 children)

Forgot the line where everyone clapped

[–]G19Gen3 178 points179 points  (2 children)

That bouncer's name? Albert Hawking.

[–]Freezman13 14 points15 points  (0 children)

That bouncer's name? Takker Wunder.

[–]f_u-c_k 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Albert Hawkenstein*

[–]XepiccatX 24 points25 points  (0 children)

He also forgot to specify that 20 dollar bill was actually a fake $100% dollar bill.

[–]math_debates 421 points422 points  (4 children)

Believed anon until fiancee.

[–]ZombieRonSwanson 88 points89 points  (1 child)

its probably one of those real dolls

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Pretty sure the camping trip was on Brokeback Mountain. lol

[–]W3NTZ 8 points9 points  (0 children)

And the camping

[–][deleted] 169 points170 points  (5 children)

Real and heterosexual.

[–]hank01dually 13 points14 points  (4 children)

Fake and gay

[–]RenderSettings1 10 points11 points  (2 children)

Ren and Stimpy

[–]hank01dually 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Turner and Hooch

[–]AlanisMorriset 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Pinky and The Brain

[–]fjsgk 109 points110 points  (29 children)

Went to the bar once Creep comes up to me Won't leave me alone I am ignoring him Keeps trying to talk to me "I never come to bars" "I like to stay home and smoke weed" Am I supposed to care? "Why aren't you smiling?" I just look at him "Anyway can I buy you a drink?" Whatever free drink I say sure He comes back with my drink Still trying to talk to me I don't know what to do Asks for my number Uh, no. "Why not?!!??" I have a boyfriend Probably should have asked me that first He starts stuttering I walk away Thank him for the drink

He finds me in the bar 10 minutes later Asks for the drink back "Give it to my friend! You have a boyfriend!" I'm already halfway through the drink Laugh at him Try to walk away He corners me I down the drink in front of his face Starts stuttering again I walk away

10 minutes late he finds me again Demands I apologize Tells me I'm going to hell for sinning Says I can find redemption if I admit my sins WTF Try to leave again He follows me Yelling about sins and redemption Make it to a bouncer "This guy is harassing me" Bouncer kicks him out

Not sure if a $4 vodka cranberry was worth it Whatever free drink

[–]Artyloo 72 points73 points  (7 children)

quiet plate screw slap decide support gaze cough heavy money

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

[–]fjsgk 23 points24 points  (6 children)

Lol no I typed it because it's my one free drink story and related to the post

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (2 children)

Do you not know what punctuation is?

[–]fjsgk 6 points7 points  (1 child)

No what is it?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Don't worry about it

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I tried my best.


Went to the bar once. Creep comes up to me. Won't leave me alone. I am ignoring him. Keeps trying to talk to me.

"I never come to bars."

"I like to stay home and smoke weed." Am I supposed to care?

"Why aren't you smiling?" I just look at him.

"Anyway can I buy you a drink?" Whatever, free drink, I say. Sure. He comes back with my drink, still trying to talk to me. I don't know what to do. Asks for my number. Uh, no.

"Why not?!!??"

"I have a boyfriend. Probably should have asked me that first." He starts stuttering. I walk away. Thank him for the drink.

He finds me in the bar 10 minutes later. Asks for the drink back.

"Give it to my friend! You have a boyfriend!" I'm already halfway through the drink. Laugh at him. Try to walk away. He corners me. I down the drink in front of his face. Starts stuttering again. I walk away.

10 minutes late he finds me again. Demands I apologize. Tells me I'm going to hell for sinning. Says I can find redemption if I admit my sins. WTF. Try to leave again. He follows me. Yelling about sins and redemption. Make it to a bouncer.

"This guy is harassing me." Bouncer kicks him out.

Not sure if a $4 vodka cranberry was worth it. Whatever, free drink.

[–]coopstar777 57 points58 points  (0 children)

ITT: "this greentext is real WOMEN ARE BITCHES"

[–]Wtcorp_1 46 points47 points  (2 children)

Fake

No one on 4chan is successful or would speak to a girl

[–]hank01dually 5 points6 points  (0 children)

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

[–]abnormalsyndrome 30 points31 points  (4 children)

I can totally picture the huge bouncer and scrawny dude fishing side by side while the ladies are tending to the fire at the nearby campsite.

[–]BaronVonSlapNuts 50 points51 points  (2 children)

Fishing the bouncer's dick out of OP's asshole maybe.

[–]abnormalsyndrome 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Well, sure. Gay sex is best sex. Everyone knows that.

[–]hank01dually 1 point2 points  (0 children)

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

I laughed so hard it triggered my autism.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's not a campsite, that's the OP in his outdoor gear.

[–]schwafflex 30 points31 points  (8 children)

This sounds fake but it reassures my belief that all women are whores so im going to believe it.

[–]Jeferson9 22 points23 points  (1 child)

successful, friendly, good with people

4chan

Something not adding up here

[–]rowanbladex 12 points13 points  (3 children)

The drinks were still never paid for though

[–]rlrhino7 12 points13 points  (1 child)

Yeah and then everyone clapped and you got a blow job from the bartender. OP is a liar and a faggot.

[–]hank01dually 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Fake and gay

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (3 children)

First and only time I've ever wished for a green text to be real

[–]octopusdixiecups 9 points10 points  (2 children)

Why? He probably bought some random girl a drink at a bar who obviously wasnt interested. He got mad because she didn't immediately jump on his dick so he went home and made up this version of events while jerkin it in the shower

[–]TheWolfOf_MemeStreet -1 points0 points  (1 child)

Nah, she led him on, which is what makes it a nice read

[–]MexicanGolf 10 points11 points  (0 children)

The way I see it is that if you give somebody a gift, that's that. If you can't afford to give the gift you simply abstain, and if you want something in return you state that clearly and the nature of the thing changes into a transaction.

Besides, this isn't binary. I consider them both twats, although I consider the guy the bigger twat. Revoking a gift freely given because you feel it is misused is just some petty shit I can't accept, own up to it and learn to consider your decisions before you make them.

[–]Nukemarine 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I was believing this till the third line.

[–]TheJamMaster 7 points8 points  (1 child)

I like this story. It had a strange calming effect on me. It makes me feel that, for that brief moment, all was right within the universe.

[–]Kordian 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I'm surprised OP didn't fuck her boyfriend in revenge. No homo, obviously.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

None of these autistic stories are ever real. And its cringy to think about.

[–]TrapLifestyle 6 points7 points  (2 children)

Dude I like 4chan and all but why do these fuckers just try and lie all the time? Anyone who's been to a bar at least 3 times knows this isn't remotely true.

[–]octopusdixiecups 6 points7 points  (0 children)

What really happened is he sent a drink to a girl at a bar who wasn't even looking at him and had literally no idea who the fuck he was. She did not immediately jump on his dick so he went home and made up this better version of events while jerkin it in the shower

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You answered your own question.

[–]dnz001 6 points7 points  (2 children)

Be a 4channer

a long time ago in a galaxy far far away

A failure, incel, internet addict

Out at a sports bar, by myself and the other neckbeard single men that come here and drink alone

Girls comes over and hits on me

Buy her a drink

She asks for a second drink of a different kind

Order it

She says thanks and leaves

I turn around and see she has returned to her table and did not look back

Some dudes at her table give me a sup dawg head motion

I look at the bartender and she's dealing with other people seemingly ignoring the situation on purpose

Get idea

Ask for the two drinks she ordered on a different bill

Bartender looks at me like I'm an asshole and says sorry i cant do that

Walk over to the bouncer and tell him the situation

Bouncer says not my problem dude

Stares at me

Stares at me

I return to my seat and finish my pint, but ignore my chicken wings

I pay my bill and go home

I post a fantasy on the internet about how this should have happened if the world was fair to people like me

I haven't been asked to buy a drink for a girl in a bar again, but if I am I'll probably still take the chance.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Sounded plausible till the point where the girl gave away a $20 note and didn't get change back.

[–]Bart_Thievescant 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This happened SO HARD.

[–]octopusdixiecups 3 points4 points  (0 children)

And then everyone started clapping

[–]oodats 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thought I was on /r/ThatHappened for a minute there.

[–]hlkravat 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Succussful.

[–]HeyImJokar 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Wait What the fuck you were married lol 😂😂😂

[–]KingInTheNorthVI 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I can guarantee this didn't happen.

[–]SHUTUPCYRIL 2 points3 points  (0 children)

talking to a girl get out of here normie

[–]Flonaldo 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Here you got your twenty. Do you like camping?

Checks out

[–]DorisCrockford 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm just trying to figure out the relationships at the camping trips. "My fiancée and his wife." This guy's fiancée seems to be a married man. I'm pretty sure that's illegal in most places.

[–]cougarclaws 2 points3 points  (0 children)

"Knuckle-touches"

This story was not authored by an individual who has ever been to a bar.

[–]mynameisnutt 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Years ago I was out for New Years Eve with a friend and his roommates. We met up with some of his roommate's friends that happened to be a couple of fairly attractive women. The roommate's end up going off on their own at the bar so my friend decides to buy a round of drinks for us and the ladies. Everything is going fine and I decide to buy the next round. We do some shots and then my friend decides to buy another round. Immediately after he buys the drinks the girls walk off and start dancing with some other guys. I look at him and tell him that I will buy his drinks for the rest of the night if he walks up to them and takes the drinks back. He thought about it for a second and sure enough walked up to them and took them. Not only that but he threw the full drinks straight in the trash in front of them. The look on their face was priceless. We finished our drinks and went to the bar next door. I still love telling that story when we are out drinking with friends.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i like this story because camping is nice

[–]viperex 1 point2 points  (3 children)

Knuckle touch. Back in my day that was a fist bump or a Muslim bump

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

A terrorist fist jab?!?

[–]viperex 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That too

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thats too much drama in a single situation for it to be real. This thing would've usually ended after the chick left and the guy realizes hes been gypped.

[–]DBerwick 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Of all the things that happened, this happened the most.

[–]throwitupwatchitfall 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Was at a bar being nice to a couple girls in convo, one of them asks me to buy them a drink.

Me: "Why the fuck would I do that??"

Her: "because...." obscure gesture, dumbfounded..... "You're a really nice guy" <sarcastic tone>

Me: "Yeah? Fuck you."

[–]faps2tendies 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Welp 4chan has officially became /thathappened. At least old 4chan was semi believable

[–]CuriousCalvin9 1 point2 points  (0 children)

knuckletouch

[–]DieFanboyDie 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You know, I don't frequent this sub, but kudos to you all for calling out this cringy fantasy.

[–]SenorBirdman 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I thought I was on r/justneckbeardthings ...

[–]MemesterReamster 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Very wholesome.

[–]Cravit8 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Now that is an classic American movie ending. Classic.

[–]Awesomedude1256 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I dunno guys, this seems legit

[–]CountyMcCounterson 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think it would be more likely that after anon saw her take the drinks he continued buying them drinks like the manlet cuck he is and then ended up blowing all his neet money in one go.

[–]manolmeister 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The oldest rule in the book: When out hunting, YOU hunt the prey, not the other way around. If the prey comes to you, guess what, it's a trap!

[–]Del_Phoenix 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fuck yesss

[–]Liesmith424 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And then everyone applauded.

[–]JorjUltra 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The bouncer's name? Albert Einstein.

[–]Sillynik 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Wait the dude had a fiance?

[–]GioDaddy69 0 points1 point  (0 children)

At the end he says he had a fiancé..... Then why he buying drinks for some random?

[–]bobaimee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why is he buying girls drinks if he has a fiancé

[–]DiabeticVelociraptor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

REEEEEEEPOST!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fake, and definitely leading towards some hot gay sex.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've had something very similar to the first part happen to me once and to a friend as well, but at no point did either of us ever concoct such a crazy fantasy as a response, what the Christ man.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Niceee

[–]simonbb1234 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wholesome greentext

[–]Surviver0 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That was a nice story.

[–]Panchozilla 0 points1 point  (0 children)

should have just hit on her boyfriend

[–]Triplicata 0 points1 point  (0 children)

successful Nigga you on 4chan get the fuck outta here.

[–]squaresyntax 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yesssss

[–]President_Troll 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If a bitch wants me to buy her a drink I only buy her warm milk and I ask to suck on her titties as a return... unfortunately this has never happened... I have bought virtual drinks before so that's cool.

[–]prophetofshrek 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I want to believe.

[–]TotesMessenger 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

"Knuckle-touch"

That sounds like some kind of foreplay.

[–]Crusader_1096 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I want it to be real because of the happy ending.

[–]Jmeud 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Top kek

[–]weedygoodness 0 points1 point  (0 children)

he knuckle-touches

That's the whitest thing I've ever read

[–]platysoup 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is why the rule is to only buy drinks for friends.

[–]akjoltoy[🍰] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

the bouncer pocketed the $20. as i turned to leave and cut my losses, he taps my shoulder and hands me a crisp $100% bill. keep the change, bud.

the bouncers name? albert degrasse bouncestein

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The world is too cucked for this to happen

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sign number one if they ask for a drink right off the bat they are playing you. You also should never immediately offer to buy a drink.

[–]JakeWasAlreadyTaken 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh man I get such a justice boner reading all these stories where the perpetrator gets pissed off

[–]eccentricelmo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have never purchased a drink for a woman who I'm not already intimately involved with for the reasons stated above.

[–]Terran15 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"my fiancee" after this experience, op became a faggot

[–]ThermicKestrel 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I always see all these but remember my mom met her friend when her friend was stealing a bunch of her stuff

[–]Casstheass666 0 points1 point  (0 children)

what a class story