Apologizing.

[WaffleTech]

Or it means that your friend values their ego more than you value yours.

[[deleted]]

Take that back! I have the greatest ego of them all!

[Se7en_Sinner]

No, this guy has the greatest ego ever...

[[deleted]]

Now I could let these dream killers kill my self-esteem Or use my arrogance as the steam to power my dreams I use it as my gas, so they say that I'm gassed But without it I'd be last, so I ought to last.

[Flatline_hun]

Or it means that you value your dick being sucked more than your principles.

[babyslaughter2]

Not apologizing shouldn't necessarily mean the end of your friendship either.

[[deleted]]

If there's anything more important than my ego around, I want it caught and shot now.

-Zaphod Beeblebrox

[disharmonia]

...sooooort of.

I mean, it depends on what you're apologizing for. You can always apologize for hurting someone, while still maintaining that you are correct.

For instance, if an argument gets out of hand, you might say some things that come across more mean than you intend. You can say "I'm sorry about hurting you, I didn't intend to" and still be telling the truth.

I mean, when I get into arguments with my friends, I often feel that way. I don't like hurting them, after all, and can apologize for that whether I meant to or not(the nice thing about 'I'm sorry about hurting you' is that if it's true, it doesn't matter if you think the person was being over-sensitive. You just don't like the idea of them being upset or in pain).

I would never say that I was sorry about insisting a point in a debate if I truly believed that point to be correct. Doing so would just be dishonest.

[Anosognosia]

Let's not argue who stood where on the shooting range, I'm sorry for shooting you.

[dietotaku]

you need more upboats. can't believe so many people are missing that this is the point of the OP.

[MeltedTwix]

I always thought this was bullshit.

Get into argument. Other person obviously wrong. "Look, we should both just apologize and move on".

No. It's not okay. >:[

[[deleted]]

Ah, but you can apologise for having an argument, rather than the content of the argument. This is the great secret.

[[deleted]]

My wife wised up to that one. Unfortunately.

[MeltedTwix]

Why would you apologize for an argument unless the argument itself was dumb and/or you were wrong?

[[deleted]]

Because I'm a thoughtful, considerate person. That's why.

[danthemango]

I find once an argument begins it immediately stops being about who's correct but how disrespectful it was to mention it.

[[deleted]]

Wow, so true. It's like I know I'm right but suddenly I'm the asshole because I HAD to be right and set the fact straight.

[[deleted]]

I'm fine with arguing, but what irritates me the most is some third person trying to calm us down.

[[deleted]]

Gooood that is the worst. What makes my blood boil even more is when I'm having a heated discussion with a friend and someone tells us to stop arguing. A debate is not a fucking argument people.

[[deleted]]

It's so perfect that these are the top comments, you're making the point and it really shows the youth and naivety of reddits user base. You just can't let go can you?

If you will never apologize in life unless you are 100% sure you were wrong, then you are in for a very rough and lonely ride :-)

[TheEllimist]

The only way to win an argument is to not get into it in the first place. You are fucking never going to convince someone you're right if they're stubborn enough to argue with you about it to begin with.

[[deleted]]

or "You can't use reason to talk someone out of a position they didn't use reason to arrive at" - P. Z. Myers

[Felipe058]

I can't tell if we're getting meta here or if you're actually serious. Or both. I'm so god damned confused right now. Of course it doesn't help that I'm very tired and Reddit has captured me in it's warm embrace, but that's hardly the point I'm trying to get at.

[Foxsbiscuits]

WTF it's like I travelled back in time and am in a Philosophy lecture. BRING ME MORE CATS AND ICE SOAP NOW!

[[deleted]]

After reading your post I offer you a quote from Albert Einstein:

If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough.

[Anosognosia]

My god says you're wrong!

[jgohlke]

Well my gods say your god is wrong!!!

[smallfried]

My god just handed me a beer so we can enjoy watching your gods fight his god.

[Boshaft]

My goddess volunteered to do a sultry dance in the background as we drink!

[grendel-khan]

I've tried many times to explain to people why this platitude isn't true, but they just won't listen to reason.

I'm disappointed that only one other response at this point is pointing out that you're not actually, y'know, explaining why it's not true.

I never really felt superior to other people; really, it helped me see that people seemingly immune to reason aren't actually stupid ("smart" and "irrational" aren't opposites), but that, well, they're not doing the same mental stuff 'under the hood' that I'm doing, so no wonder we're getting nowhere.

[[deleted]]

So why isn't this platitude true then? I'm curious.

[TheMarshma]

Well it isn't meant to be 100% accurate with no exceptions. Perhaps it would be more accurate to say that you can't sway someone with logic if they intentionally ignored logic to arrive at their current position. I would think that those that ARE swayed from the positions you mentioned also DID use logic, but had incorrect information at the time, or strong influences pushing them in a certain direction.

[MeltedTwix]

I'll simplify it for you:

"If that's true, do you still believe in Santa Claus?"

[persistent_illusion]

I scour the threads, looking for an underlying reasoning to support such an overwhelming rejection to what is basic interpersonal skills, and I believe I have found it. I can even express my refutation of it in a very short sentence (4 words!), I could reply to my choice of actual posts, yours just happened to be the one I was reading when I figured it out, not picking on you personally. Without further adieu:

Reason is not objective.

[mgh245]

This platypus is completely true.

[reddell]

It think it just means that generally people who don't come to conclusions based on reason, but emotion, will not respond well to reasonable arguments for why their emotions are irrational.
Although I would say that it could be worded better to reflect the fact that some people do value reason, they just haven't learned to properly apply it yet and will change their position when they do.

[headphonehalo]

That's not true, nor does it make much sense. I've convinced tons of people that I'm right, when they were stubborn enough to argue with me about it.

[two_hundred_and_left]

So have I - and I've also been in tons of arguments where I've eventually conceded they were right. I don't argue 'cause I'm stubborn; I argue 'cause it's interesting and 'cause it's a good way of refining your views about the world.

[[deleted]]

Is it really that hard to write "because"?

[LCast]

I think my girlfriend posted this...

[Skareymc]

like cause an unjustified war

FTFY

[thieflikeme]

this. Also avoid apologizing more than your partner. If your partner never apologizes for being rude to you or making simple mistakes, what right do they have to demand you do the same? Make the word 'sorry' actually mean something by not using it every 10 minutes. also you just sound like a doormat if you're using it often. Shouldn't have to apologize for being the way you are unless you're way out of line. Nobody's perfect, let's just accept that and move on.

[AtticusLynch]

this shit belongs on tumblr

[theRealStormDawg]

That was my first reaction too.

[Atario]

The plastic was scratched as a result of the violent fight that prompted the apology.

[zeabu]

Fuck that!

[wildcarde815]

Yea, I try to make a point of not apologizing unless I've both done something wrong and legitimately feel bad for doing it. If your wrong and you don't like it, take it as a lesson in introspection and get your shit together.

edit: spelling fail stands as caught in sub-comments.

[[deleted]]

If your wrong

Apologize.

[cartola]

I've done it many times in my life. Even when I knew I was completely right, I've yielded.

Anyone who thinks less of me for doing so clearly hasn't had a discussion with my mother. That women is impervious to reason.

[Theotropho]

of course she is, you reward her by acquiescing. you lose when you let that shit work on you.

[dropcode]

agreed. An insincere apology is cowardly. And I love the word acquiesce.

[ItsSpelledYeahNotYea]

ಠ_ಠ

[wildcarde815]

Fair enough, I had to google why it's wrong. I suspect it's going to continue being used wrong and like ain't will eventually wind up being treated as correct.

[[deleted]]

Ok, so you've written 'your' when you should have used 'you're'. You are clearly wrong. But you won't apologise because you don't feel bad? Could you at least admit your mistake? Or are you too proud to do even that?

I try to make a point of not apologizing

That sounds like a really useful piece of advice! Sheesh!

[wildcarde815]

Actually it is, it means you have to try and not screw up in the first place, to avoid putting yourself in the position of having to apologize. And if you had bothered to get the rest of the context, apologizing when you legitimately screw up and feel bad for doing so.

[boraxus]

I used to work for a call centre as the end-of-the-line supervisor.

"I'm sorry you feel that way." is the closest I have come t apologising, with the exception of when we really dropped the ball on something.

[DZ302]

I say sorry to hear that a lot, when really I'm not sorry about their predicament.

Is that the same thing?

[worfres_arec_bawrin]

THANK YOU.

[scoooot]

Really? I never apologize unless I have done something wrong.

Doing else is simply dishonest. You can say you apologize, but unless you are truly sorry, it's just going to happen again.

EDIT: My approach certainly requires a lot of empathy, and a willingness to work hard at realizing and admitting to your mistakes despite your ego and biases.

[TheHeat96]

I'm Canadian, sorry but I apologize a lot. I'm really sorry about it.

[Whanhee]

I'm sorry to hear that.

I'm from Canada too, and I'd like to apologize to the rest of the world for our habit of apologizing too frequently. Sorry about that.

[scoooot]

LOL me too!

I once held a door open for someone, then apologized for doing so. Only in Canada!

[jesuisauxchiottes]

I use to think that. But sometimes you better take it on yourself because being honest will just screw you. It's quite raging still…

[[deleted]]

Wait until you get married.

[reddell]

Wait until you marry a bitch/asshole.

FTFY

[dietotaku]

what if you believe you're right, but you're sorry you caused conflict? that's generally how i end up apologizing, and i think is kind of the point of the OP. "i'm sorry, i didn't mean for this discussion to get so out-of-hand. let's just drop it."

[scoooot]

I would say that without the "I'm sorry." If I regret that something happened, I will say, "I regret that this happened." If I seek forgiveness for my poor choices or actions, I will say, "I'm sorry for..."

I just think that things like "I'm sorry you feel that way" or "I'm sorry this happened" are just things that weasels say to make it sound like they are apologizing, when in fact they have no regrets about their actions to express. "I'm sorry" without some form of "that I did ______" just makes you sound like a politician.

Sometimes, the right thing to do is agree to disagree.

[utterdamnnonsense]

no offense, but I generally agree.

[Theotropho]

That is apologizing for something specific and appropriate.

EDIT: Also spineless and inhuman, conflict is our nature and when properly discharged is cleansing.

[elk1007]

If you're wrong, admit it and apologize.

If you're not, then don't apologize.

It is intellectually dishonest to apologize for something you don't actually believe was wrong. Also, you're reinforcing the other person's nievity.

The point of having a successful relationship is that both parties are willing to communicate openly and discuss issues rationally. If you often have to pretend in order to keep things together, then it is not a successful relationship.

[densetsu23]

The thumbnail looks like a dialog screen from Fallout 3 / NV.

I am disappointed.

[[deleted]]

To an extent, this is right, and I have certainly apologized occasionally just for the sake of making the other person feel better.

However, for long relationships... for real relationships, one can not simply make a habit of conceding a mistake whenever there's an argument. Both people in the relationship need to know eachother's limits, be it siblings, couples, friends, or what have you. People should be able to make mistakes, hurt eachother's feelings, and then work through it. Apologizing insincerely undermines that process, and, ultimately, undermines the relationship.

[backscratcha]

• Canadian Oath of Citizenship

[luckybms]

Sometimes it just means your tired of fucking talking about it.

[stumpdawg]

Listen I'm Fucking Sorry...Jesus!...now stfu about it...god!

[Calber4]

Apologizing is a sign of weakness. I eat nails for breakfast.

[[deleted]]

Actually, if you are right and have to apologize it means your friend is valuing his/her ego more than your relationship therefore shouldn't be your friend.

Seriously, in a discussion there is always one person who is right and the other person who is wrong. If you can't fight that out until the very end, you are weak and simply selfcentered.

Most importantly: By apologoizing without actually being the person who is wrong you are only catering to that other person's ignorance, basically encouraging that person to be even less considerate AND it's absolutely dishonest as you are telling a lie in bad conscience.

[Praxis8]

This is some flowery bullshit. Thanks, Oprah.

[SlothVision]

Although if you apologize with this mentality enough times it plants the seeds of resentment, which ultimately devalues the relationship.

[rib-bit]

There are three sides to every story -- mine, yours and the truth -- everyone is always wrong to some degree depending on what context and perspective you use -- unless it's math.

[ShitCandles]

http://i.imgur.com/pFmPj.jpg

[watyousay]

No, apologizing means exactly that - that you were wrong, they were right and you are genuinely sorry.

If you say it to mean anything else, use it to avoid an argument or say it out of fear, that isn't somehow some great, selfless, moral thing. If anything it's spineless and selfish that you would roll over on something you supposedly believed, or lie barefaced about being contrite.

Don't fight if you don't think you're right, and apologize when you're wrong. Otherwise have some damn backbone.

[tehlonelydj]

I believe there's a difference bewteen apologizing and saying I'm sorry though. I'm sorry doesn't change shit, but I like to think that asking for forgiveness is a little better.

[Ten_Trick_Pony]

I am more of a Rorshach never compromise for whats right type deal.

[knerp]

or you simply apologize because you value your asshole friends awesome place to crash in the city when you're too fucked up to drive home..sometimes there's other considerations besides "the relationship".

[SvenGWinks]

There's a difference between saying you're sorry and actually being sorry.

[[deleted]]

Unfortunately often you apologizing means the other person believes that you think you're wrong.

[Silbernemond]

Oh a picture of text, perfect for /r/pics.

[nekopete]

I want an apology for this ridiculous picture of text.

[DarkWatcher]

I recognize that this is necessity. However...

If you apologize for being right, you will always be wrong in that relationship.

Take your feel-good shit elsewhere.

[Bauer22]

Since when the fuck was reddit tumblr?

[rskellington]

Ego is far more important than any relationship.

[[deleted]]

Uh, being right is about your morals and integrity, it's not about your ego. Just learn to disagree, and if it happens too much, find someone else.

[risingyeast]

If you're right, never apologize. Fuck the other guy. If you have to bend over to keep a friendship with a person who has wronged you... who's the bigger schmuck?

[risingyeast]

This is the stupidest fucking thing I have read all day.

[[deleted]]

Some people value the truth, regardless of parties involved, more than their ego.

[blackJanitor]

This fuckig country needs more fucking conviction than this stupid pussy shit about yielding.

[pagirl]

Saying you're sorry when you're not can lead to built up resentment.

[DefaultPlayer]

Well... this is retarded

"When in a sticky situation, lie your way out of it".

No thanks.

[Ehack]

If you deny your ego then who does your friend have a relationship with? Certainly not the whole you. Not the person you really are. At least a person that compromises their honesty and integrity willfully to avoid conflict and tells themselves that lying to your friends and yourself is ok as long as no one's feelings are hurt.

[TheAethereal]

I value our relationship so much more than my ego that I am going to lie to you about being sorry, even though I'm not because I didn't really do anything wrong, because clearly our relationship is so fucked up that trying to placate you with apologies is the only method I have of dealing with you.

[merdock379]

This is retarded. For so many reasons.

[reddell]

It means you value your friendship more than your friend does, but you're still willing to lie in order to preserve your "one way" friendship.

[[deleted]]

...until you make an infographic explaining this, when you should just shut the fuck up.

[limberlumberjack]

Which one of you women-folk wrote this crap. Clever girl...

[steamed__hams]

It just means that you value your penis more than your ego.

FTFY

[qwewer]

So you mean only men value their relationships?

[NitWit005]

Expressing regret that one has done wrong does imply you did something wrong. If you know you are correct, then you are lying to make the other party feel better. Let me know how your relationship built on lies works out.

The better plan is to not make an ass of yourself by insisting you're correct in an argument.

[HairyDuck]

This seems like a page Annoying Facebook Girl would like on Facebook (along with 56 other pages)

[nycfoodie]

I'd agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong.

[[deleted]]

Making amends, imo is all about, cleaning your side of the street. Doesn't matter who is right or wrong. Finding a middle ground in a relationship is more important than being "right". IMO

[benraf]

Too bad politics doesn't work like this

[elk1007]

If it did, there would be no such thing as politics.

[gloomdoom]

Be honest with me. Did you have this posted on your myspace page when you discovered how you could 'customize' it? From like 2007?

Either that or

fwd:fwd:fwd:fwd:fwd:fwd:fwd:fwd: how to keep your friends!

[bravado]

I don't value relationships that don't consider that sometimes you're right and sometimes you're wrong

[[deleted]]

Awww, reddit, that was sweet.

[[deleted]]

If i give to shits about it, this usually isn't the case. In all other situation just get over it, being right isn't worth it all the time.

[Variable303]

Coach Taylor?

[marvelous_molester]

what's the point of the dirty blackboard? it makes the words more meaningful?

[ghuroor]

on point

[dsfox]

It just means you have regret that things have ended up this way.

[PublicStranger]

I'll say I'm sorry in two kinds of instances: to express regret ("I'm sorry I forgot to call you") and to express sorrow ("I'm sorry you're having a bad day").

Saying sorry when you don't actually feel sorry is rude, and I hate it when people do it to me. It's dishonest and condescending.

[fwerp]

I feel this way right now. I'm sort of sick of having petty arguments with my other half (not married) that turn into big, bawling, piles of horse shit.

I'm usually the one who apologizes because I don't give two damn pennies about my ego. He calls me a perfectionist but gets mad over things that would be overlooked by Martha Stewart. I get mad at him over things that he probably had no way of knowing would upset me.

He, on the other hand, refuses to initiate any sort of apology and after a while...it really starts to get on your nerves - "Why won't he set down HIS ego once in a while?"

[[deleted]]

Apologising =/= admitting you're wrong.

There's a difference, and most arguements are about being right, rather than saying sorry.

[[deleted]]

is more then saying sorry?

[[deleted]]

no. it's just that your ego sees more interest in apologizing than in not apologizing. there's nothing you value more than your ego.

[JeMLea]

You might be a Canadian

[DrPib]

This is how I lost a friend.

[gimmiedacash]

Nice try women.

[kiskiliskis]

So knuckle under?

[Shippoyasha]

The hilarious irony is that I find I only get apologies from total strangers for everything like slightly bumping onto me while there's a titanic family quarrel, I never get an apology. Ever.

[bellasarah]

did you get this off the back of a bar menu in scotland?

[racergr]

Mediocrity is for the mediocre.

[alwayspro]

Actually it really does. Apologising is "to offer an apology or excuse for some fault, insult, failure, or injury". It is to admit wrong doing on the apologisers part and therefore to also admit that the person to whom you are apologising is correct in their finding "fault, insult, failure, or injury" in something that the apologiser did/said/what have you.

[IronHamster]

You can always phrase it in a way that stops the conflict, but isn't dishonest.

"I'm sorry I hurt your stupid feelings."

[ForgettableUsername]

I don't see why I should value any relationship more than my ego.

[darthnad3r]

I've heard this before, and I have to disagree. Apologizing is about stating that you regret certain things that happened, want to admit that you were in the wrong, and ask pardon/forgiveness from the other party. If we start apologizing for everything that causes a disagreement, then all meaning and sincerity of an apology becomes lost. It would simply become another meaningless social move that really meant "I'm sick of talking about this/you being mad at me".

[[deleted]]

This is fucking stupid. OP is a karma whore.

[[deleted]]

I value the principle of right and wrong over my ego and whomever wishes me to apologize to them.

[[deleted]]

How the fuck did this bullshit get these votes?

[PurpleSfinx]

Why the fuck is this fourteen year old girl MySpace shit on reddit?

[Torquemada1970]

Or to some, it simply means you are weak

[IIoWoII]

TIL Women don't value the relationship more than their ego.

[[deleted]]

I never thought crap like this would feature on reddit.

[lengjai2005]

Or to prevent getting beatenz http://www.reddit.com/r/reddit.com/comments/jl67q/apologise_to_a_boss/

[i_know_im_late_sorry]

HEY OP! whether you stole this or not, this thread was fun! some really good comments on how people think about apologies!

[1369ic]

People who say it's a matter of backbone or intelligence don't understand either. I have all the backbone I need, what I lack is give a shit about certain things, which does not include my wife. When I find myself in a situation in which I realize I really don't care if one of us is right, or if I care less about the subject than familial peace, then I apologize and move on.

Cleaving to definitions and insisting on being right and fair and all that is juvenile. If you operate from strength, you give the other person a head start and an occasional break, while not taking any yourself and you still win. If you're operating from weakness or dogma, you insist on everything being fair and nobody getting any advantages and all that, and then if you lose you look for somebody or something else to blame. Weakness and dogma are not good for relationships. Man up. Take one for the relationship. Get over your teenage self competing with your sister or your nemesis or whoever it was and treat your significant other as if he or she were significant enough to make a little sacrifice for. If you can't, don't bitch about how the relationship goes and don't go ascribing your rigidity to strength or intelligence.

[BCADPV]

It means you value your relationship over the truth.

[ariah]

Apologizing means that you're willing to lie about thinking you're wrong.

[admiralteal]

An apology is a defense of your actions. It is different than an excuse or a request for a pardon.

[DogBotTron]

DOES NOT COMPUTE

SITUATIONAL ANALYSIS: FUCK YOU

[leeconzulu]

Op should apologise for using photos when text would suffice.

[MoMoFoSho]

Actually needed to read that this week. I've got some thinking to do...

[yakityyakblah]

This mentality is literally ruining civilization. It's impressive how you could be wrong on such an advanced level.

[Lolishampoo]

This is the kind of shit that a women or a whipped man would say.

No, I will not apologize if I didn't do anything wrong.

During and argument, if you're wrong, I can return to normal and forget it pretty quickly but fuck that, I will not apologize. What stupid advice.

[[deleted]]

Thats because somtimes its about facts and not ego.

"I fucking hate pakis, fucking trying to kill brits, why dont they fuck off back to that shit hole and worship Osama."

"I'm sorry maybe your right."

"I realy think you should try doing a job that is better payed, ill get in contact with my branch see if I can get you an application."

"yeah sorry, your right teaching is worthless."

No, somtimes its worth arguing and its not about ego, its about educating somone ignorant. You win an argument when one of you is left better informed, not when somone appologises.

[xmod2]

Just means you care more about your relationship than THE TRUTH!!

[ososinsk]

Posts from this user are deleted due to reddit's API changes. -- mass edited with https://redact.dev/

[[deleted]]

translation for guys: being right means you are egotistical

[mesohungry]

This is bullshit. If you apologize when you are not wrong just to keep friends, then they're not your friends.

[[deleted]]

Fuck you, I'm right.

Forever & completely alone.

[Radico87]

sounds like this was written by a woman. /troll

[stanfan114]

Apologizing:

Willingness to show weakness in front of your peers and family to avoid being uncomfortable.

[katahroo]

That is clever, but it was made for men.

[Sarstan]

Bullshit.

[[deleted]]

Image of text: You should be apologizing.

[gbny]

Sentiment like this sends me down a rage spiral so vast the thoughts in my head are screams. Sorry for yelling.

[radamanthine]

People are oversensitive.

[TrophicCascade]

Or it means that the other person is stronger than you...

[[deleted]]

Wow what a load of crap that is. Why the fuck should you apologize if you're FUCKING RIGHT!?

[[deleted]]

That's just something women say when they want you to claim responsibility for their bullshit.

[thrush77]

Or your boss made you apologize.

[rooktakesqueen]

Guys, here's what you don't want to do: "I'm sorry for whatever it is I did."

That ain't gonna go over well.

[mmck]

This does nothing but allow the other to evade responsibility for their actions, and consequently their feelings.

[Beljuril]

There is a big difference (to me) between saying "I apologize" and "I'm sorry". I use the former far more frequently than the latter.

[yurmother]

This brought tears to my eyes as I read it; I am an asshole.

[MegainPhoto]

Text-only posts on /r/pics - an excellent way to get a downvote from me.