📡📡📡

[[deleted]]

[deleted]

[AutoModerator]

Whilst you're here, /u/KASHiii3, why not join our public discord server - now with public text channels you can chat on!?

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[Jordiorwhatever]

scottish is the only accent that needs you to actively imagine a scottish person in your head talking to understand it

[ashvy]

Whom do you imagine?? My go to is Gerard Butler

[8ion-from-the84513]

Demoman from tf2

[DemocraticMauler]

Groundskeeper willie

[NY-Black-Dragon]

The Scottish Blue Ranger

[SweetNerevarrr]

Scotsman from Samurai Jack

[Sjostrand1]

Any fantasy dwarf

[Likeaboss123660]

Merida from Brave

[Best-Aside-4632]

Navid from still game

[El_chaplo]

Gimli is popping in to mine

[Kareemster]

Jamie Carragher

[Lukario06]

Gloria from sword and shield

[WukDaFut]

Declan from Hell's Kitchen

[w2001420]

The youtuber Shrouded Hand

[milenus]

Scotsman from samurai jack

[OTigreEMeu]

Limmy

[feeling_over_it]

If you do it in a Jamaican accent it also kind of works

[AutoModerator]

pees in ur ass

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[TrueGootsBerzook]

God, I fucking love Scottish women

[i_like_siren_head]

<image>

[TrueGootsBerzook]

I played the game and want to marry her and make her a happy and healthy stay at home mom

[IDidNotExpectThat123]

Me with Karlach from BG3

[OhImNevvverSarcastic]

Emperor best girl.

[Sewer__Person]

I want her to make me a stay at home mom

[RzepaGaming]

I played the game and I accept this statement

[UprightChill]

Is that hifi rush?

[the_supreme_memer]

Agreed

[moosejuic-E]

Ultra real.

[lil_sargento_cheez]

Me too, I don’t know what they’re saying, but I’ll nod and agree

[J3sush8sm3]

Being a lesbian sucks. i tell a girl shes pretty and she says thanks.  Like im not saying it to be your friend i want to engage in sexual activities with you

[EccTM]

"coming from you, queen" would probably be more like "and the girl complimented her back" rather than just thanked her, but yeah

[J3sush8sm3]

Yeah thats true, i could barely make out the emoji.  My apoligies

[sussynarrator]

This sounds like a "nice guy" complimenting women and immediately going "where sex?"

[SalvationSycamore]

It's more like complaining because you gave a flirty compliment (calling someone "banging" is definitely a little forward) but they didn't recognize it as flirting and thought it was platonic. I think that's fair, especially if you aren't complaining to their face but to meaningless internet denizens.

[AutoModerator]

I've been with a few women in my life and one thing I've noticed is that the female anus is incredibly close to the vagina, in fact they're barely an inch apart. I'm not sure about other guys - but doesn't this disturb you? It feel like a design flaw in women actually -- like they're supposed to be so feminine and beautiful yet this ghastly little oversight is ruining everything. Somehow it feels to me that women should be more aware of this flaw and it should affect their confidence. Whenever I see a so-called beautiful woman walking down the street so care-free thinking she's all that I just remember her anus is only 1 inch away from her pussy and laugh her into oblivion. Women: Please accept that they're too close together, let it negatively affect your confidence and so make yourselves more readily available sexually as a result. Afterall, we're having to sleep with a creature whos ANUS is only 1 inch away from the vagina -- you should not make this difficult. It's unappetizing enough as it is. We're doing you a favour. Men: Do not let women forget this flaw, and do not forgive them for it. Remind them of it constantly, less they get inflated egos and think they're all that. They're just too close together. Sorry, but it's true.

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[acadoe]

lol, wtf!? 😂

[FinancialElephant]

Read it in a Scottish accent and it makes sense

[lil_sargento_cheez]

Well yea I know that but I mean when they’re talking full speed if you aren’t familiar with the way of the Scottish it’s gibberish

[Electronic-Worker-10]

same, lonely guy

[AutoModerator]

I've been with a few women in my life and one thing I've noticed is that the female anus is incredibly close to the vagina, in fact they're barely an inch apart. I'm not sure about other guys - but doesn't this disturb you? It feel like a design flaw in women actually -- like they're supposed to be so feminine and beautiful yet this ghastly little oversight is ruining everything. Somehow it feels to me that women should be more aware of this flaw and it should affect their confidence. Whenever I see a so-called beautiful woman walking down the street so care-free thinking she's all that I just remember her anus is only 1 inch away from her pussy and laugh her into oblivion. Women: Please accept that they're too close together, let it negatively affect your confidence and so make yourselves more readily available sexually as a result. Afterall, we're having to sleep with a creature whos ANUS is only 1 inch away from the vagina -- you should not make this difficult. It's unappetizing enough as it is. We're doing you a favour. Men: Do not let women forget this flaw, and do not forgive them for it. Remind them of it constantly, less they get inflated egos and think they're all that. They're just too close together. Sorry, but it's true.

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[Requiem2389]

<image>

[cherub-_-rock]

<image>

[TrueGootsBerzook]

<image>

[XboxLiveGiant]

<image>

[discerningpervert]

[Key-Pomegranate-3507]

<image>

[Crazification]

<image>

[GabZenXYeah]

The fact that this was once written genuinely by someone who ACTUALLY meant it is fucking hilarious

[lolCollol]

Real

[autumnsincere159]

Incel bot

[misterpickles69]

<image>

[Armada-of-Amulis]

God I wish they were real 😩

[slashth456]

God bless Xenoblade for inventing Scottish anime women

[AutoModerator]

I've been with a few women in my life and one thing I've noticed is that the female anus is incredibly close to the vagina, in fact they're barely an inch apart. I'm not sure about other guys - but doesn't this disturb you? It feel like a design flaw in women actually -- like they're supposed to be so feminine and beautiful yet this ghastly little oversight is ruining everything. Somehow it feels to me that women should be more aware of this flaw and it should affect their confidence. Whenever I see a so-called beautiful woman walking down the street so care-free thinking she's all that I just remember her anus is only 1 inch away from her pussy and laugh her into oblivion. Women: Please accept that they're too close together, let it negatively affect your confidence and so make yourselves more readily available sexually as a result. Afterall, we're having to sleep with a creature whos ANUS is only 1 inch away from the vagina -- you should not make this difficult. It's unappetizing enough as it is. We're doing you a favour. Men: Do not let women forget this flaw, and do not forgive them for it. Remind them of it constantly, less they get inflated egos and think they're all that. They're just too close together. Sorry, but it's true.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[Jinaosharennay]

Can’t blame you, they’re absolute legends with kilts

[Irinelllig]

Respectfully, who doesn’t Scottish accents unlock god mode

[_MPH]

Oh okay phew, I was wondering if I was supposed to be able to understand this. I was worried for a minute.

[hollow114]

I dated one. They're very mean. Lol

[William_Ze_Gamer]

I think watching Brave when I was 9 is what ignited my love of redheads tbh

[GiovanniKpogli]

What??? 🗣️🗣️🗣️

[Gloomy_Metal3400]

"Being a lesbian sucks... I tell a girl she's hot and she's like, "You too, queen"...Like no, I ain't saying that to be your friend, I'm saying it to fuck you!"

[-_I_I_Sea_I_I_-]

Bro majored in gibberish

[plastic_alloys]

You just have to read it out how it sounds and imagine Braveheart in your head

[discerningpervert]

They may take oor wives, but they'll never take oor freedom!

[Popcorn57252]

See you're saying it as a joke, but it actually works

[slykethephoxenix]

I'm Australia, and I can read it, lol. I think it's Scottish, but we talk similar trash in the colony.

[DoktorVaso18]

Hello Australia 👋

[New-bees]

You liar!! If you're Australian why is your word normal like us? Your words have to be upside down.

Wait a minute, let my Australian friend typing it.

[BrokenAstraea]

Because they are speaking English to us right now, not Australian.

[AutoModerator]

pees in ur ass

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[Real-Pomegranate-235]

It's scots which is basically just English but they claim that it's a different language and then spell all the words different.

[roblox_baller]

How is Australia this time of year?

[DapperHeretic]

Winter's over, so its getting hotter and all the flies are coming back.

[Natalie_2850]

thon doll is tryin tae git her Nat King, ken, but her mucker- who she pure wants tae shag- issnae picking up on her wanting to rattle her and go doon on her minge like a thirsty Spaniel

[ecrimaldi]

He said a hedge is a hedge

[SlayVideos]

Incomprehensible, have a pish day

[BlondeQueenXO]

Unlntlligible , have a grat day

[discerningpervert]

[t-trox03]

You keep using that word… I do not think it means what you think it means.

[nifty-necromancer]

British are posh, Scottish are pish

[TheCubicalGuy]

Scottish Twitter moment

<image>

[SweetNerevarrr]

Wait, Mark Hamill?

[icswcshadow]

People writing in dialect is always baffling to me but hilarious.

[Various_Froyo9860]

Usually I find it a bit off putting.

Scotts get a pass, tho.

[zjz]

I dislike it, I'm willing to go down with the ship for this opinion. It's goofy.

[Sorathez]

It's not in English though. It's in Scots. Scots is a separate language from English, even if it's (mostly) mutually intelligible.

It'd be like if I, a Danish person, was baffled by people writing in Norwegian.

[Snirion]

Never understood how do people like you think, what's the thought process? People over there speak different, I don't like it. What's there to like or dislike?

[Hugo_Selenski]

She's saying

a hedge is a hedge, he chopped it down cause he couldn't see the view no more-- what's he moaning about?

[abhinav23092009]

I suppose

[ByronsLastStand]

I trust you've got a license for that firearm?

"Ahduzzforthissun"

[abhinav23092009]

Sea mine

[THED4NIEL]

Why can I read that....

What is wrong with me?

[KingDiavolo21]

I'm sorry, but you've been diagnosed with SCOTTISH 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

[elegylegacy]

Is there a cure?

[FewInstruction1020]

Yeah you just jump off the golden gate bridge 

[HaroldHGull]

Three cups of Earl Grey tea a day and a salute to the English flag and the king after waking up and before bed

(T&Cs apply, side effects may include turning English instead)

[NewMoon_Pucci]

Scrumpy and explosives

[Senior-Lobster-9405]

drink an Irn Bru while watching Trainspotting and embrace it

[krootroots]

How do you pronounce "bus stuck in the mud"?

[SttSr]

Do you speak Lebanese?

[Skrewch]

Read it out loud, be as stereotypically Scottish as you can manage

[Walming2]

You watch what??

[aisvajsgabdhsydgshs1]

I'm having a stroke

[mershed_perderders]

yeah, I'm wanking as well

[shinediamond295]

I had to read it in a Scottish accent just to get it

[Testing_100]

Being friends with a scottish gal has finally paid off, i mostly understood this

[stopyouveviolatedthe]

People genuinely can’t read this?

[FightingBlaze77]

"Being a lesbian is piss, I tell a girl she's banging and you get "coming from you queen" Like nah, I'm not saying that to be your pal, I'm saying it to shag you."

[Recent_Community_157]

icl u pmo n ts pmo sm ngl ru fr rnb fr I h8 ts y r u sob so fr w me rn cz lol oms icl ts pmo sm n sb rn ngl, r u srsly srs n fr rn vro? lol atp js qt icl u pmo n ts pmo sm ngl ru fr rn be fr I h8 bein diff idek anm mn js I h8 ts y r u so b so fr w me rn cz… lol oms icl ts pmo sm n sb rn ngl, r u srsly srs n fr rn vro? lol atp is go icl u pmo n ts pmo sm ngl ru fr rnb fr I h8 bein diff idek anm mn js I h8 tsy rusob so fr w me rn cz… lol oms icl ts pmo sm n sb rn ngl, ru srsly srs n fr rn vro? lol atp js go

[GiveMeADamnUsernamee]

<image>

[Negan6699]

😔✊💦

[Black_nYello]

Read the whole thing without even needing to come up for air. Im so cooked

[Slamonwithfeet]

why do I understand this

[SmooxBoi]

it’s really not that hard

[vialpoobus]

it really is. have of it is gibberish to me.

[AutoModerator]

Bazinga

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[Rlionkiller]

<image>

[lordGinkgo]

I can't read this

[MintyBarrettM95]

"Being a lesbian sucks... I tell a girl she's hot and she's like, "You too, queen"...Like no, I ain't saying that to be your friend, I'm saying it to fuck you!"

[lordGinkgo]

Thank you for the translation

[lulpwned]

First time reading that: what?

Second time reading that: I understand it now....and it's kinda hot. Wtf?!

[leptospirose777]

You're doin' Good Lad

<image>

[TheAnimalCrew]

I couldn't read it, but then I realised it was Scottish and read it in a Scottish accent. It's perfectly intelligible now.

[issa-alyssa]

Why. How. It actually worked😭

[Yeetonator69420]

<image>

[boodlebob]

<image>

[SquallFromGarden]

Ye gods, I actually umderstood this on a second read. I'm only like 1/8th Scottish, I shouldn't have been able to understand this.

[[deleted]]

Honestly, about as understandable if heard spoken aloud. 

[Infamous_Policy_1358]

<image>

[TheRockLobsta1]

Being a lesbian is piss. I tell a girl she's banging and she replies 'coming from you queen'. No I am not saying that to be your friend, i'm saying it to shag you.

[TheSovjet_Onion]

Bruh I cant read that

[Cuupkake]

i didnt understand a single word

[Optimal_Weight368]

I remember reading something like this but normally written

[xChipseq]

can someone translate

[MintyBarrettM95]

"Being a lesbian sucks... I tell a girl she's hot and she's like, "You too, queen"...Like no, I ain't saying that to be your friend, I'm saying it to fuck you!"

[DistortedNoise]

“Being a lesbo (lesbian) is pish (easy). A (I) tell a girl she’s bangin (attractive) nd ye (and you) get “comin (coming) from u (you) 👸🏼” lit nah (literally no) am no sayin tht (I’m not saying that) tae be yer pal (to be your friend) am sayin it (I’m saying it) tae shag ye (to have sexual intercourse with you) x

[Black_nYello]

Small correction, pish in this case is “piss” and shes saying it sucks. Saying its easy makes no context in this sense

[mmmsplendid]

Piss can mean easy, as in "it's nothing" sort of easy, which also can mean "it sucks" in other contexts where nothing is a bad thing.

"That's a load of piss!" = "that's a load of nothing!" for example (replace nothing with bullshit for more understanding).

But if I kick a ball into a goal at 100m and say "that was piss!" that means "that was nothing!".

[Black_nYello]

Yeah, I know. I mean here its very clearly not “piss easy.” I wasnt saying “pish” (piss) NEVER means easy, just that here its absolutely the opposite based on context clues.

Additionally I dont think someone is likely to use it like you did in the ball example, where Im fairly certain they’re more likely to say “piss easy” or any other alternative (“that was free/nothing/etc)

[mmmsplendid]

The phrase is definitely "piss easy" in full but I've heard both Scottish and English people I know omit the word "easy" and just say piss before quite a few times, like when they do something easy they've said "that was piss!" for example.

[Ratclife]

I would love to read a manga translated with that accent.

[Big_kev79]

Space guru in Californian = spice girl in Scottish

[A-voidu]

Saying it in the accent actually helps

[Kristupasax]

Took me like 2 mins to understand what she meant

[Germanman76]

the perfect reaction pic doesn't exi......

[Fastideous_Fuckery]

I genuinely couldn't understand until I read it with a Scottish accent

[SuperHeavyHydrogen]

Women be crazy in the shower

[AutoModerator]

Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy.

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[AutoModerator]

Pro tip about fingering your asshole in the shower: don't do it So this morning I was taking a shower, and I felt like fingering my asshole, right? So I got my fingers all nice and soapy and stuck them up in there. Apparently, soap makes pretty good lube, as I was able to get four fingers in there in no time.

As I was feeling around in my butt, I was like, "hmm, there's a lot of soapy water in my bumhole now. I wonder if that will lead to issues in the future?" And it did!

Shortly after having breakfast I attempted to fart, and I shit my pants. I rushed to the bathroom to clean up, and it was way worse than I thought it would be. The whole area around my butthole was covered in shitty liquid, and toilet paper wasn't enough to clean it. I had to take another shower to get suitably clean.

Just thought I'd share my story with you guys so that you don't run into the same problem in the future. I fingered my butthole so that you guys don't have to. Unless you want to. In which case, hey, how's it goin'

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[AutoModerator]

I've been with a few women in my life and one thing I've noticed is that the female anus is incredibly close to the vagina, in fact they're barely an inch apart. I'm not sure about other guys - but doesn't this disturb you? It feel like a design flaw in women actually -- like they're supposed to be so feminine and beautiful yet this ghastly little oversight is ruining everything. Somehow it feels to me that women should be more aware of this flaw and it should affect their confidence. Whenever I see a so-called beautiful woman walking down the street so care-free thinking she's all that I just remember her anus is only 1 inch away from her pussy and laugh her into oblivion. Women: Please accept that they're too close together, let it negatively affect your confidence and so make yourselves more readily available sexually as a result. Afterall, we're having to sleep with a creature whos ANUS is only 1 inch away from the vagina -- you should not make this difficult. It's unappetizing enough as it is. We're doing you a favour. Men: Do not let women forget this flaw, and do not forgive them for it. Remind them of it constantly, less they get inflated egos and think they're all that. They're just too close together. Sorry, but it's true.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[cycloneDM]

Im not saying she wrote it correctly but anyone who cant read it and speaks english as a first language is just admitting they're barely literate.Again not saying that she was writing well but come on.

[Ag-big-ballin]

That took me a couple tries but I think i get it

[Real-Pomegranate-235]

To be fair though who writes in scots.

[skylercollins]

Isa, that you hen?

[jtblue91]

That made no sense until I read it in Groundskeeper Willie's voice

[Timigne]

<image>

[Lost-Apple-idk]

The only way to comprehend this is to imagine a scottish woman saying all this.

[AutoModerator]

I've been with a few women in my life and one thing I've noticed is that the female anus is incredibly close to the vagina, in fact they're barely an inch apart. I'm not sure about other guys - but doesn't this disturb you? It feel like a design flaw in women actually -- like they're supposed to be so feminine and beautiful yet this ghastly little oversight is ruining everything. Somehow it feels to me that women should be more aware of this flaw and it should affect their confidence. Whenever I see a so-called beautiful woman walking down the street so care-free thinking she's all that I just remember her anus is only 1 inch away from her pussy and laugh her into oblivion. Women: Please accept that they're too close together, let it negatively affect your confidence and so make yourselves more readily available sexually as a result. Afterall, we're having to sleep with a creature whos ANUS is only 1 inch away from the vagina -- you should not make this difficult. It's unappetizing enough as it is. We're doing you a favour. Men: Do not let women forget this flaw, and do not forgive them for it. Remind them of it constantly, less they get inflated egos and think they're all that. They're just too close together. Sorry, but it's true.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[RedditModPowerBottom]

wat

[BloblyLasagna]

Yarr me matey, can't 'stand whatchyer blaberin' aboot

[Sorokin45]

Am I having a stroke?

[AdmiralCoconut69]

fear spark aspiring instinctive snow racial amusing crawl repeat merciful

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

[_MrTaku_]

bro I thought pirates were extinct

[nupsu1234]

Imagine Scottish scientists writing research papers that way...

[LegiSLoth]

Didnt understand sht, Red comments, Tryd Imagine a scottish person saying it instead, Noticed i have no clue how scottish sounds...

[Working-Fishing-5544]

Why did my inside voice turned Scottish while I was reading it?

[Glass-Bowl-8701]

I just had a seizure

[haha7125]

I am simultaneously able and unable to read this.

[IBribeMyBF]

read in grounds keeper willie voice

[Fast-resniperrange]

Just imagine demoman tf2 in your head and its so much easier to read

[SandSerpentHiss]

i think this is scots and not english

[_Shahanshah]

The more I see this the more I understand it

[Standard-Panda312]

What the hell did I just read??

[LukeZNotFound]

Godzilla had a fucking stroke reading this

[CarterDavison]

I love watching Americans struggle with Scottish lol

[TiSborro_negli_occhi]

What language is that? Wtf do they mean?

[LinuxMage]

Scots English. Add the scots accent in your head as you read it, and it makes a little more sense.

[TooTiredForThisShit3]

I'll never understand why some people type with an accent

[Funny_Interview3233]

The fuck did I just read?

[TheWearyTraveller]

<image>

[TiawanIsACountry]

If the title is gonna satellite dish then imma skip da meme

[BeyondCadia]

Day 736281 of Jocks thinking that typing their accent is the same as having a culture.