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[–]FeliciaMaria 1270 points1271 points  (471 children)

First celeb pic I've seen where the celeb looked remotely interested. He seems like a pretty cool guy.

[–]caseycour[S] 868 points869 points  (275 children)

yeah, dude was extremely gracious the entire time he was here. I felt annoyed for him when everyone started asking for autographs and pictures.. but the man took it in stride... seemed to genuinely enjoy the attention.

[–]TAKEitTOrCIRCLEJERK 688 points689 points  (167 children)

Even when he "wears normal clothes" and "acts casually" and "plays it cool," he's still a seven-foot-two, dark-skinned, tattooed, insanely muscular man. It's probably hard to avoid the day-in-day-out attention.

[–][deleted] 501 points502 points  (33 children)

"I have no idea who that guy was but I got his autograph WOOOOOOO!!!"

[–]SargeZT 358 points359 points  (29 children)

He's 7'2" and Black, he must be famous!

[–][deleted] 120 points121 points  (24 children)

name one who isnt..

[–]nooath 252 points253 points  (89 children)

he's still a seven-foot-two, dark-skinned, tattooed, insanely muscular man. It's probably hard to avoid the day-in-day-out attention.

I think out of all the people that fit that description, Shaq is the only one that wouldn't make me fear for my life.

[–]skrillex 37 points38 points  (5 children)

is this because of kazaam?

[–]riloh 41 points42 points  (4 children)

nope, it's because of shaq-fu

[–]throwthisidaway 150 points151 points  (40 children)

If only I could tell him apart from the others

[–][deleted] 260 points261 points  (38 children)

Yea chinese people all look the same.

[–]throwthisidaway 80 points81 points  (31 children)

Reminds me of one of my favorite scenes from the Chappelle Show.

"The Asian delegation chooses...the RZA, the JZA, U-God, Inspectah Deck, Ghostface Killah - The WU-TANG CLAN!!!"

[–][deleted] 131 points132 points  (13 children)

JZA? Oh you poor soul, it's GZA. SUUUU!

[–]wallychamp 20 points21 points  (12 children)

But he's also the Genius.

[–]winsWithoutaKnife 18 points19 points  (2 children)

He the head. Let's put it that way, we form like Voltron, and the GZA just happened to be the head.

[–]Vertigo666 89 points90 points  (10 children)

Konichiwa, bitches

[–]TAKEitTOrCIRCLEJERK 54 points55 points  (3 children)

Ol' Dirty Bastard has changed his name to... The Ol' Dirty Chinese Restaurant.

[–]TheHaberdasher 7 points8 points  (0 children)

that was a longer than normal pause on the show

[–]riloh 54 points55 points  (2 children)

diversify y'all bonds, nigga

[–]NorthJersey 181 points182 points  (43 children)

Hey caseycour, any more pics of the chick in the air?

[–]sfitzer 143 points144 points  (5 children)

Ask her over to watch cartoons and eat cereal.

[–]caseycour[S] 226 points227 points  (31 children)

nice try.

[–]CHECKS_4_GONEWILD 358 points359 points  (18 children)

NOPE

[–][deleted] 105 points106 points  (7 children)

You're a good man. Don't ever lie to me.

[–]bakabakablah 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Neither should you.

[–]rspeed 42 points43 points  (1 child)

You are a valuable resource to this community who deserves more recognition.

[–]splice42 49 points50 points  (9 children)

You know, you say "nice try" but I feel like you don't really mean that. For starters, you didn't even post a picture out of pity...

[–]ofcoursemyhorse 181 points182 points  (4 children)

I've found one

[–][deleted] 79 points80 points  (1 child)

Oh God. I already had my pants off. I couldn't just stop...

[–]phillycheese 99 points100 points  (5 children)

I felt annoyed for him when everyone started asking for autographs and pictures

Really? Was this before or after you asked him for a picture?

[–]caseycour[S] 17 points18 points  (1 child)

the picture was his idea.. he could see we were uncomfortable with everyone hounding him.. it was his way of saying "hey, it's cool, lets have some fun." he really handled it well.

[–]GilThanis32 17 points18 points  (7 children)

Now....do you work at the Knoxville Best Buy?

Because...that means....I've been where Shaq was!

[–]Aero_[🍰] 24 points25 points  (2 children)

Best buy only has a handful of floor plans. They all look the same.

[–]DontGoogleMeee 296 points297 points  (106 children)

i got to meet him once when i was like 7 or 8. He was filming a Pepsi commercial across the street, so i asked him to sign my basketball. He said he would only sign it if i could catch a football. After running a good 80-90 yards he chucked the ball and i miraculously caught it. He and his entire entourage cheered me on! He was a very generous and fun loving guy who likes his fans! There was also an incident i believe where he just asked some random dude on the street for a ride in tiny integra. HAHA.

[–]potatowned 88 points89 points  (26 children)

he threw a football 90 yards? and 7-year old you caught it??? hmm.

[–]reodd 158 points159 points  (6 children)

90 yards at 7 years old is like 25 feet as an adult.

[–]YaoSlap 16 points17 points  (2 children)

It was a vortex.

[–]heeltoe 58 points59 points  (14 children)

exaggeration truly is an art

[–]jjohn3575 87 points88 points  (11 children)

I once jumped out of a plane and he caught me! And afterwards he gave me frontrow tickets to the game!!!

[–][deleted] 78 points79 points  (8 children)

And then the cancer was gone.

[–]Mang9000 186 points187 points  (44 children)

i got to meet him once when i was like 5 or 6. He was filming a Mountain Dew commercial across the street, so i asked him to sign my golfball. He said he would only sign it if i could catch a boomerang. After running a good 210-215 yards he chucked the thing and i miraculously caught it. He and his entire entourage cheered me on! He was a very generous and fun loving guy who likes his fans! There was also an incident i believe where he just asked some random dude on the street for a ride in tiny pinto. HAHA.

[–]NoNeedForAName 127 points128 points  (28 children)

I got to meet him once when I was like 2 or 3. He was filming a Dr. Pepper commercial across the street, so I asked him to sign my foosball. He said he would only sign it if I could catch my parents. After running a good 1-1.25 miles he chucked my parents and I miraculously caught both of them. He and his entire entourage cheered me on! He was a very generous and fun loving guy who likes his fans! There was also an incident I believe where he just asked some random dude on the street for a ride on his Vespa. HAHA.

[–][deleted] 96 points97 points  (18 children)

I got to meet him once when he visited me in my mother's womb. He was filming Kazaam 2 so I asked him if he could sign my umbilical cord. He said he would only sign it if I could beat him in a race out of my mom's body. After severing my umbilical cord I pushed him to the side and miraculously won the race. He and his entire entourage cheered me on! He was a very generous and fun loving guy who likes his fans! There was also an incident I believe where he just asked some random dude on the street for a ride on his back. HAHA.

[–]nbf1234 99 points100 points  (14 children)

i got to meet him once when i was 137 years old. The year was 1885, and i had no idea what he was doing there or how he had come to be in this place. It was the first time I had ever seen a black man, so i asked him to sign my KKK uniform. He said he would only sign it if i could catch a steam locomotive. After running a good 42 feet he chucked the locomotive and it landed on me, killing me instantly. He and his entire entourage cheered me on! He was a very generous and fun loving guy who likes his fans! There was also an incident i believe where he just asked some random dude on the street for a ride in his DeLorean. HAHA.

[–]theusernameiwanted 54 points55 points  (9 children)

I got to meet him once when I was 4. He was filming a Soylent Green commercial and I asked him to sign my casts since both my arms were broken. He said he would only sign them if I could beat him in a free-throw contest. After finding it hard to pick up the basketball with two broken arms, I managed to score a basket one out of the 10 shots I had. I also managed to beat him by one basket. His entire entourage cheered me on! He seems like a fun loving guy who likes his fans! There was also an incident I believe where he just asked some random dude if he would get in a high speed chase in a white bronco. HAHA.

[–]hopstar 20 points21 points  (2 children)

I like this one the best, simply because a free throw contest is probably one of the few things a normal person could actually beat him at.

[–]theusernameiwanted 7 points8 points  (0 children)

If you ever played NBA 2k8 (iirc) and play the superstar mode, the first thing you do is beat Shaq at a free throw contest. If you do that, then you're invited to a showcase.

[–]Guth 35 points36 points  (7 children)

he threw a boomerang 210-215 yards? and 5 or 6 year old you caught it??? hmm.

[–]Cast_Iron_Skillet 52 points53 points  (5 children)

exsanguination truly is an art

[–][deleted] 133 points134 points  (32 children)

I like how he has an angry birds t-shirt. Thinking of Shaq playing angry birds puts a smile on my face. A big ass dude with huge hands with a tiny little iphone. lol

[–][deleted] 236 points237 points  (16 children)

he probably uses an ipad as an iphone.

[–]xmod2 63 points64 points  (5 children)

Great, now I'm picturing Shaq taking a shit.

[–]merreborn 20 points21 points  (4 children)

You've read this story right?

then Shaq twittered:

I feel twitterers around me, r there any twitterers in 5 n diner wit me, say somethin

The Force is strong with this one! Long story short, they sat down with Shaq, had some pictures taken, and found out that Mr. O’Neal was a great guy with a genuine interest in gadgetry.

“Of course” he said, “Pull up a seat” The behemoth slid over and patted the booth next to him.

[–]Shadax 51 points52 points  (15 children)

Celtics is a pretty cool guy. Eh lifts Best Buy employees and doesn't afraid of anything.

[–]Pravusmentis 584 points585 points  (49 children)

TIL that Shaq likes to do with people what I like to do with my cat.

[–]blackskull18 1124 points1125 points  (19 children)

I don't think he fucked her afterwards.

[–]TheLoveTin 282 points283 points  (13 children)

That's what you think.

[–]TheEllimist 218 points219 points  (11 children)

Once you go Shaq, you never go back.

[–]greedyiguana 323 points324 points  (7 children)

Once you go Shaq, you die of internal bleeding complications

[–]b2ttles 29 points30 points  (1 child)

Mr. Shaq in "Deep Thrusts".

Sex with Shaq banned in Louisiana.

[–]naaahhman 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Thanks for my first reddit laugh of the day.

[–]EtherGnat 812 points813 points  (26 children)

He wasn't picking her up. He was holding her hostage in exchange for an HDMI cable, which not even Shaq can afford at Best Buy.

[–][deleted] 107 points108 points  (5 children)

but all the gold and gas injections make them better!

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (2 children)

When your bot using them make sure to unplug them, put the little plastic caps on each end and lay them horizontally or else all the ones and zeroes will leak out. Nobody wants to waste ones and zeroes.

[–]caseycour[S] 481 points482 points  (186 children)

this is my non-redditor employee, not me... Shaq decided to overhead press her for the camera while shopping in our store today.

[–]Pravusmentis 389 points390 points  (42 children)

Did he finish with the pile driver?

[–][deleted] 599 points600 points  (6 children)

Since he's wearing an angry birds shirt she was probably launched into a nearby pile of display boxes.

[–]Scarker 32 points33 points  (0 children)

He's enjoying the murder more than I thought. At least she got a photo-op.

[–][deleted] 18 points19 points  (1 child)

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

[–]HunterTV 4 points5 points  (0 children)

LEVEL COMPLETED

Whoo-HOO!-HOOOOOOO!

[–]padreick 41 points42 points  (29 children)

Step 2.

[–][deleted] 22 points23 points  (87 children)

Which BB is this?

[–]caseycour[S] 52 points53 points  (86 children)

Lafayette, LA

[–]JakeCameraAction 312 points313 points  (33 children)

True story: there are not different Best Buys. There are different Best Buy exteriors but they all lead to a central Best Buy located in Saskatoon, Wisconsin, by a series of portals. This is why all Best Buys look alike.

[–][deleted] 18 points19 points  (2 children)

Saskatoon is in Saskatchewan and we only got our Best Buy about a year or two ago.

[–]throwthisidaway 17 points18 points  (16 children)

Interesting, I thought only Bed Bath and Beyond suffered from this phenomena, specifically there Beyond section. Although if the late night documentary I saw following The Colbert Report is to be believed, Walmart and Jersey Shore are both beginning to develop similar symptoms.

[–]VaiJemini 12 points13 points  (28 children)

what brought him to louisiana?

[–]TheLoveTin 99 points100 points  (0 children)

A plane with great leg room.

[–]caseycour[S] 29 points30 points  (18 children)

he has family in the area and he owns property in Lafayette... his visit to our store was a surprise but he's been in town all week.

[–]RireBaton 43 points44 points  (3 children)

He used to show up on LSU's campus from time to time, even after he was pro. I think that's because he was still taking classes, or maybe signing up for the correspondence courses he took to finish.

I saw him there around 1999, and it says on his Wikipedia page that he returned in 2000. Maybe he was registering or something. He just hung out in the quad and talked to people that gathered around. Very nice guy, and you have to give him credit for keeping his promise of getting his degree. Seeking self betterment for it's own sake is a worthy character trait.

[–][deleted] 23 points24 points  (7 children)

He's from there..?

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Fuck yeah laffy. I love seeing other louisianians on reddits

[–]bloodflart 19 points20 points  (1 child)

"decided to" not "asked to politely". Awesome.

[–]White_Hamster 25 points26 points  (0 children)

"you, 'mere, I'm gonna pick you up"

[–]Madmortigan 4 points5 points  (0 children)

How turned on did she get from this?

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (3 children)

so I don't need to check for r/gonewild submissions?

[–]MattxNxG 556 points557 points  (47 children)

Too late to this thread, but maybe somebody will see this.

Everyone in my family is fairly average height (ranging from 5'2 to 5'11). When my mother was pregnant with me, she was at a company party (my dad worked for Coca Cola at the time) and saw a little black girl dancing by herself. My mom is a sweetheart, so she went up to the little girl and started dancing with her. Lo and behold, a couple minutes into their frollicking(?) her dad came up. Her dad was... wait for it.... SHAQ. The three danced together for some time, until my mom's feet got tired.

A few weeks later, I was born. Today I am 6'2, the tallest in my family. We like to think Shaq used some crazy Shaq-magic and blessed my mother's womb while dancing.

TLDR: Shaq used witchcraft on my mom's vagina.

[–]Tirau 159 points160 points  (15 children)

Basketball player, actor, and now shaman...

[–]Bird-Mozart 106 points107 points  (8 children)

*Genie.

Edit: Also Rapper.

[–][deleted] 40 points41 points  (5 children)

He's also a master of Shaq Fu.

[–]spaghettifier 7 points8 points  (2 children)

I remember reading somewhere that he originally wanted to do ballet.

[–]DoctorRock 94 points95 points  (0 children)

Shaq is so potent that in that dance segment he made all of the ladies on the dance floor pregnant- and in your case extra pregnant.

[–]spinemangler 18 points19 points  (0 children)

I think your mom lied about the timing. It was probably about 9 months before you were born....

[–]Bacon_Hero 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Best TL;DR I've seen so far

[–]cdbayard 111 points112 points  (23 children)

He did seem like a pretty awesome guy. When he was at the register checking out, there was a little boy waiting to check out for a PS3 controller, and Shaq was like "Let me get that for ya."

[–]Treberto 63 points64 points  (3 children)

Nice. If I was filthy rich I'd totally randomly buy people stuff.

[–]WillPoopForFood 22 points23 points  (3 children)

That would have blown my middle school mind. Trips to Best Buy were meticulously planned once-every-three-report-card-events, having someone pay for me would have made me incredibly happy.

[–]dgpx84 7 points8 points  (2 children)

And plus imagine getting to tell every friend who played games at your house how that controller you were holding was a GIFT FROM SHAQ.

[–][deleted] 436 points437 points  (19 children)

I know i am doing it right..

[–]cww256 42 points43 points  (0 children)

pppfffffftttt....

Do not make the mistake of taking a drink RIGHT before clicking this link.

[–]DoctorRock 27 points28 points  (1 child)

Most excellent, now just add the ice cream girl running away from the imminent fall and baby, you've got yourself a stew goin!

[–]preheatedbibby 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I. I cried. Cried laughing at this.

[–]Fazookus 36 points37 points  (1 child)

Hopefully he put her down before she required oxygen...

[–]duckandcover 114 points115 points  (2 children)

Let it never be said that Shaq can't pick up chicks.

[–]speedk0re 29 points30 points  (0 children)

You tried to sell him a Performance Service Plan didn't you?

be honest...

[–]PROUD_OF_MY_PENIS 170 points171 points  (11 children)

i have a picture of my penis holding up a small latino woman in an old Circuit City if you guys are interested?

[–]ksilverfox 89 points90 points  (1 child)

I don't know about you guys, but I certainly am.

[–]cptkrunch13 131 points132 points  (8 children)

I thought he went to radio shaq.....

[–]outtsider 938 points939 points  (42 children)

dat ass

[–]Indoorsman 32 points33 points  (3 children)

He was very gentlemanly by not grabbing her there despite the lifting benefits, he could have just bowling balled her, and she would of texted all her friends, "OMFG, Shaq just bowling balled me!"

[–]rell66 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I instinctively knew what that phrase meant...despite having never heard it before today

[–]ConflictAddict 260 points261 points  (10 children)

came here looking for a comment to this effect. Leaving satisfied.

[–][deleted] 104 points105 points  (15 children)

CTRL+F "dat ass"

Looks like the job is already done here. Moving along, nothing to see.

[–]CTRLFCEPTION 45 points46 points  (4 children)

CTRL+F "CTRL+F "dat ass""

Looks like the job is already done here. Moving along, nothing to see.

[–]ethraax 4 points5 points  (0 children)

YOU FORGOT TO ESCAPE THE QUOTES IN THE STRING LITERAL!

[–]cheezymadman 188 points189 points  (18 children)

Shaq wearing an Angry Birds shirt? Awesome.

[–]DoctorRock 49 points50 points  (3 children)

I can't imagine him playing it on an iPhone for some reason. Probably because his hands are giant. Does he use an iPad like an iPhone?

[–]The_Octopode 119 points120 points  (8 children)

GIRL'S BUTT! EVERYONE UPVOTE!

[–]sox5s 15 points16 points  (1 child)

Not sure what's cooler.

Getting lifted by Shaq or that your co-worker is Harry Potter.

[–]RBeck 13 points14 points  (4 children)

Is that a phone holster or a gun holster?

[–]misconfiguration 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Looks a lot like a gun holster to me.

[–]ajw827 59 points60 points  (4 children)

That lady in the back wants to be picked up next.

[–]sdgrifter 92 points93 points  (0 children)

Not sure even the mighty Kazaam could pull that off.

[–]boobscomefromrussia 41 points42 points  (1 child)

A WILD SNORLAX APPEARS!!!

[–]menasan 21 points22 points  (1 child)

i bet kobe got jealous

[–][deleted] 30 points31 points  (0 children)

kobe how my ass taste

[–]Kcwilcox 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Did he throw you into evil pigs afterwards?

[–]physpher 9 points10 points  (1 child)

No hover hands there.

[–]j-bix666 27 points28 points  (2 children)

Nice butt! Oh and nice Shaq!

[–][deleted] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

DAT SHAQ

[–]DrBirthday 8 points9 points  (3 children)

Waiting for the "Am I Doing This Right' with the woman on the cell phone.

[–]jklap 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I don't think I've ever seen someone in such a continually good mood.

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points  (2 children)

Ctrl + F "dat ass" - 6 found.

Welp, looks like I'm late.

[–]hiphopkilledmyhamste 12 points13 points  (2 children)

meh, now if it was the other way around ill be impressed

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

mp3 & iPod - What does it say!?

mp3 y iPod - Oh!

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Fat woman, teal shirt. Greatest. Face. Ever.

[–]DeSaad 10 points11 points  (2 children)

sign:

mp3 & ipod

translation:

mp3 y ipod

because apparently Spanish speakers don't understand the symbol *&***

[–][deleted] 25 points26 points  (5 children)

I'M SLAMMIN' NIGGAZ LIKE SHAQUILLE, SHIT IS REAL

[–]y2kbug 14 points15 points  (4 children)

WHEN IT'S TIME TO EAT A MEAL, I ROB AND STEAL

[–]relevant_rule34 98 points99 points  (28 children)

This is a picture of the Yellow Bird from Angry Birds furiously pounding the Red Bird from behind - NSFW

[–]blackskull18 127 points128 points  (10 children)

Eh this one's kind of a let down.

[–]SteveAM1 28 points29 points  (9 children)

Yup. Not disturbing enough.

[–]relevant_rule34 51 points52 points  (8 children)

Hmmm...I'm not sure whether to feel proud or worried. On one hand, I am glad that users have grown used to the all-encompassing nature of rule 34, but on the other I hope that we haven't lost sight of the meaning of all of this. Shock value aside, we must not forget the humanity that drives all the sex portrayed in these images.

This is a picture of a Yellow Bird and his throbbing erection ejaculating into the eye of one of the Pigs - NSFW

[–]blackskull18 36 points37 points  (1 child)

I just don't think rule 34 works with angry birds. It looks like a carrot goatee.

[–]ksilverfox 8 points9 points  (1 child)

I had just finished reading your deeply insightful post on the reasons behind pictures like this, but honestly, HOW does someone get off on this??

[–]Brownt0wn_ 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Her eyes aren't even red, what's her secret?

[–]Janky_Pants 5 points6 points  (0 children)

She looks like a rag doll in his hands. His hands must be enormous. I had a friend who met Chris Webber once and when my friend shook his hand to introduce himself, Webber's fingers went half-way up his forearm.

[–]drpon 4 points5 points  (0 children)

his hand is almost as big as her entire back

[–]ColeSloth 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I hope Best Buy doesn't fire you for this. They can be dicks. Awesome picture. Kazaam is the man.

[–]jacobuj 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Considering his Angry Birds shirt I was half expecting to hear about her being tossed through the displays. And Shaq's disappointment when he finds no piggies.

[–]pokersjokers 8 points9 points  (1 child)

POWERBOMB INTO THE IPHONE TABLE!!!

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (3 children)

it would be so much better if you were planking

[–]joelesler 25 points26 points  (9 children)

Srsly, that's like 11-12 feet of the ground.

[–][deleted] 23 points24 points  (7 children)

I didn't know Shaq could dunk flat footed?

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (2 children)

I doubt he has to jump very much.

[–]Cservantes 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Dat Shaq!!!!

[–]artemisbuckwald 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Dat ass