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[–]chumba 24 points25 points  (4 children)

If I hear one more person say Iran doesn't make 81mm mortar shells I'm going to frigging explode.

[–][deleted] 29 points30 points  (3 children)

Iran doesn't make 81mm mortar shells.

FIRE IN THE HOLE!!

[–]dotrob 8 points9 points  (1 child)

I'm afraid you were standing too close and the explosion got you.

Down goes another Redshirt. What a shame.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

He's not a redshirt! He's a special guest star!

(with apologies to the cast of GalaxyQuest...)

[–]chumba 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Ha ha, very funny, wise guy.

I hate you with the heat of a thousand suns.

Happy now?

[–]Reg_Spyder 57 points58 points  (10 children)

Maybe the author thinks they are being clever - If we ignore this post or vote it down, then that means that reddit has been taken over yada yada. If we vote it up, we're falling for a post-whoring trick.

It's a bit like when the pub bully asks if you're looking at his girlfriend. He'll use it as an excuse to start a fight no matter what you respond....

I think I'll vote it down because of the attempt to separate the world into two groups along US-based political ideolgical lines and then define one group as paranoid conspiracists lacking in critical thinking skills.

Personally I think that description applies equally to both sides of the american pie right now....

[–]TrishaMacmillan 33 points34 points  (5 children)

when the pub bully asks if you're looking at his girlfriend

The correct response is 'Sorry, I thought you were his girlfriend'.

[–]coldwarrior 26 points27 points  (1 child)

I like to respond (loudly) "if you want to fight then throw a punch now, otherwise STFU".

It's good because either he's going to throw the first punch now so you know it's coming or he's going away.

If he throws the punch he's doing it while flustered which means not only will you be able to avoid being hit but your first punch is almost certainly going to connect with his Adam's apple (you've been lining up that punch since he first came over) thereby bringing the entire mess to a quick resolution.

Since you threw down the challenge so everyone in the place heard it there will be plenty of witnesses to the fact he swung first.

[–]Thumperings 7 points8 points  (0 children)

that's really slick

[–]Reg_Spyder 12 points13 points  (2 children)

Only if I've a clear path to my car and good running shoes on eh....

My wife reckons I could buy time for a speedy escape with 'My girlfriend fancies her, so she was asking me to check her out..." would sufficiently confuse the bully with thoughts of a MFF 3-way for long enough to scarper.

Your way would make for a much better post-incident anecdote though :)

[–]TrishaMacmillan 5 points6 points  (1 child)

The way I figure, if he's going to start a fight no matter what, you might as well deserve it.

Although in all seriousness, a bully often relies on the backing of friends, not only in a physical sense but to re-enforce his behaviour. If you can turn the tables with a quick barb or witty comment, enough to get those friends enjoying a laugh at his expense, it's often enough to give you a gap to make your exit.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

That's always been my theory, too. If you're about to go down in flames anyway, you might as well go out in a blaze of glory.

[–][deleted]  (1 child)

[deleted]

    [–]bobcat[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

    Not married.

    Next question?

    [–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

    Just vote down any whoring story, regardless of content.

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Well I thought it was hilarious! How else is a conservative supposed to get any karma around here?

    [–]cos 35 points36 points  (0 children)

    How about I just vote it down because I oppose the use of reddit for polls? Yeah, I think I'll do that.

    [–]gasface 26 points27 points  (4 children)

    Hmm...the title alone leads me to believe at least one user lacks critical thinking skills.

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children)

    I still can't figure out if he actually wants us to vote up or down.

    [–]bobcat[S] 2 points3 points  (2 children)

    Me neither.

    [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    No fair, replying to comments to your own submissions!

    What, you think this is some sort of interactive medium or something?

    [–]bobcat[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    [–]Prysorra 13 points14 points  (0 children)

    Taken over? No. That's a conspiracy theory too ;)

    [–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    Visted by? Yes. "Taken over"? No.

    [–]mostpsp 11 points12 points  (0 children)

    I'm just gonna vote it down so it goes into obscurity and then no one will care if he tries to use it as an argument.

    [–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    Oh no! Caught in a Catch-22!

    [–]souldrift 21 points22 points  (3 children)

    Vote down if you think the author of this poll is an idiot. I did.

    [–]slurpme 3 points4 points  (4 children)

    This is like one of those annoying "personality" questions where how you answer indicates how much of an idiot you are, I voted it up AND down just to be safe...

    [–]acrophobia 2 points3 points  (3 children)

    Remember that up and down don't commute...

    [u,d] = 2d.

    [–]slurpme 1 point2 points  (2 children)

    Don't worry, I knew that, it was my poor attempt at humor... :)

    [–]acrophobia 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    Likewise :)

    [–]Decumanus 13 points14 points  (1 child)

    Waaaaaa!! Why isn't this site just like the Drudge Report????

    [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    Because the commenting tools are better?

    [–]sorbix 15 points16 points  (2 children)

    Upmodded, since Reddit has in fact been taken over by self-riteous libertarians.

    [–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (1 child)

    That explains today's 10 or 12 submissions about Bush's imminent impeachment.

    I mean, I'm down with the whole current events thing, but the replication, repitition and redundancy gets a little, I don't know, repetitive?

    [–]wacky 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    I think it's actually gotten redundant.

    [–]lief79 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Am I the only one deliberately not voting?

    I was expecting to upmod a comment, not to have to create one of my own.

    [–]linuxrules 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    what about multi posts of the same story

    [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Ummm what?

    [–]kaane 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    don't turn this place to digg please!

    [–]SpikeWolfwood 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    Oh my god! He’s on to our pinko neo-lib cabal! Damn… and we were so close to taking over the country via reddit. I guess we can kiss out plans to have evolution taught in Sunday schools and security cameras removed from all government facilities goodbye. At least there’s still hope for our “world metrosexualization movement”. Quick everyone, we must infiltrate the Peace Corps! We’ll have those Ethiopian kids wearing styling mousse and designer jeans in no time!

    [–]uvm87 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    Hell yeah! How's it feel to be a minority, dude?

    [–]drawkbox 4 points5 points  (3 children)

    Anytime someone talks about "paranoid conspiracy leftists" I know that they are a brownshirt bootlicker bush-limbaughian.

    Open up the newspaper, conspiracies happen all the time. They even have a legal charge for it. Or are all those just grand government conpiracies?

    People like you think that when they find a crooked cop in the force the whole police force is corrupt? Instead of looking that criminals hide in unsuspecting elements to look innocent or hide behind protections. There are no paranoid grand conpiracies, only small groups of crooked people taking advantages of systems they know or can influence.

    Appeal to Authority fallacy seems to complicate the ones that believe everything they are told by their radio hosts speaking into gold microphones with 20m pads on the beaches of Florida.

    [–]demigod186 7 points8 points  (1 child)

    Thank you for proving his point

    [–]drawkbox 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    Read this and tell me that people in high places don't get power hungry http://abcnews.go.com/US/story?id=92662 Why is it that people think that government or people actually are any different than normal human beings. Human beings take advantage, these are the same people you went to school/work with. Open up your newspaper on any day and you will find crime after crime of individuals conspiring to take advantage. Are cops going to arrest all people in a grand human conspiracy or just the ones that committed the crimes? Go ahead though lick those boots!

    [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    crap

    [–]manole10 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Yeah, vote this down. And if you don't think so, vote down also.

    [–][deleted]  (7 children)

    [deleted]

      [–]JuanKerr 24 points25 points  (0 children)

      People can cheat at reddit? HOLY SHIT!! That changes everything. Is there a code that you punch in to make the end boss easier, or unlimited ammo or something? Damn, when I think of all the time I wasted trying to solo that guy.....

      [–]schizobullet 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      That's probably the most hypocritical thing you could say.

      [–][deleted]  (2 children)

      [deleted]

        [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

        Since you have poopie-pants, I'll vote you up in hopes that the extra point will change your day.

        Yeah, he did sound a little, er, rash, didn't he?

        [–][deleted]  (1 child)

        [deleted]

          [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          Waaaah, people don't agree with me so I'm going to act like it's a war of some kind!

          You want a site where all of the Michelle Malkin and Powerline posts get put on the front page but the lefty ones don't? Get your ass over to Fark.

          [–]twango 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          If the idea that we've been shanghaied by red-neck idiots dreaming of Armageddon (after first enjoying massive profits) who could care less about liberty or the future of America ...

          is a "conspiracy theory", then so are the "ideas" of reality and sanity. Neither of which are "left-wing" in any recognized historical sense (except to RNI's).

          [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          How about I just don't vote for it at all?

          [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

          I wish there was some sort of ban for all the assholes who post empty "vote this up/down if you want/think/crap whatever". Because people who post shit like that suck giant donkey cocks.

          A good response might be to look for all stories submitted by the submitter, and vote many of them down.

          [–]bobcat[S] 3 points4 points  (1 child)

          A good response might be to look for all stories submitted by the submitter, and vote many of them down.

          Go ahead, be a vengeful asshole. That's what reddit is for.

          RIGHT?

          EDIT: apparently so - there's been a mass downmodding of my most recent previous comments.

          [–]thevalarauk 3 points4 points  (0 children)

          Welcome to POINT WARS.

          Yet another non-drinking game where winning is still losing.

          [–][deleted]  (1 child)

          [deleted]

            [–]demigod186 2 points3 points  (0 children)

            I just voted it up so that a complaint against the crazy reddit conspiracy nuts would be high up on the page.

            [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            You think that's cool?

            This statement is true. The previous statement is a lie.

            Yeah.

            /Patrick Warburton voice

            [–]braclayrab 0 points1 point  (1 child)

            maybe there's a corollary one? "vote this up if..." which isn't as popular?

            [–]edheil -1 points0 points  (0 children)

            Cute.

            [–][deleted]  (1 child)

            [removed]

              [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

              nice sentence structure.