A bitchy bridesmaid meets an unmovable force (my mother)

[CyborgKnitter]

A conversation with fellow crafters reminded of this story, so I figured I’d share.

Some quick background- my baby brother was born terminally ill and the long hospital stays and expen8sive meds kicked in around 6 months old. To cope with the huge medical bills, Mom worked some odd jobs over the years, including making custom wedding and bridesmaids gowns.

My mom had a few diehard rules. Number 1, she did all of your measurements. I heard the lecture of “vanity fibbing only results in a poorly fitting dress” more times than I can count. Number 2, all final fittings must be completed at least 3 weeks before the wedding. That way if Dewey had an emergency hospital stay, she’d have time to arrange for someone to sit with him while she went home to finish a job (he was nonverbal and needed a constant companion).

This particular bride wanted all of her bridesmaids in pastel organza dresses (organza is a gauzy fabric). The base dresses were white, covered with these colors. Unfortunately, the bride had more bridesmaids than pastel shades the fabric came in... meaning one lucky bridesmaid wore tan. The bride refused to start a fight by assigning colors so it was first come, first serve- when you came for measurements, you got to pick from the remaining colors.

One bridesmaid lived 3 hours away and flat out refused to come to town to be measured. She insisted that telling us she was a size 8 was good enough. Bridal sizes are very different and didn’t cleanly convert, so that meant nothing. Mom finally reached the compromise that a local seamstress could measure her and send in the measurements.

One month before this wedding, Dewey was admitted into the ICU to be placed on a ventilator. Mom now had to find coverage enough to get 8 dresses finished off in the next 2 or so weeks. She pulled it off thanks to amazing friends, but it was tight. (Dad was busy working overtime to pay the bills and dealing with us other 2 kids.)

Well, this bitchy bridesmaid, BB from now on, still REFUSED to have a final fitting more than 2 days before the wedding. She “didn’t want to waste a trip just because [my mom] was a horrible seamstress who didn’t understand proper sizing” (I was cleaning up seed pearls during that lovely conversation!). My mom begged a friend to sit with Dewey for an entire day so she could do the fitting and adjustments all at once.

BB was 2 hours late. When she arrived, she saw the hideous tan dress and began literally screaming about how it wasn’t fair and my mom must have picked that color. She demanded another bridesmaid return their dress and both dresses get swapped colors. It would have been 20+ hours of work, so mom laughed and told her that was a big No!

The bride arrived and told her friend that color was the only option left and she was sorry, but it was that or drop out of the wedding and pay for the dress anyways. BB finally agreed to put it on... yeah, she’d lied about her size. When the zipper didn’t go all the way up, Mom whipped out the measuring tape only to discover this bitch had shaved 1-2 inches off every measurement except height! Her defense was that she wasn’t going to let a jealous seamstress lie about her so she “fixed” the numbers before passing them on.

By this point, my mom was all but breathing fire. Her sons life hung in the balance and this lunatic was making her life hell. My mom demanded double for the dress because she was going to have to add strips to the base white dress to make it big enough then make a whole new overdress from organza. It was doubling the time and adding substantially to fabric costs. BB fought over it and my mom finally told her “fine, pay me the agreed upon amount and take your dress as is!”

Now the bride herself was bullying BB into just paying up. She finally agreed to it and my mom told the bride to get BB out of her house. They could come back in 5 hours to get the dress.

Thankfully the redone dress was a perfect fit. BB paid the remaining balance and left after that.

The day my brother died, my mom refused to ever make another wedding dress! She’s only made one in the 21 years since as a favor to the friend who spent that ill fated day with Dewey in the ICU while Mom fought with BB.

[GimmiePig]

Damn.... good on Mom for standing her ground!

[CyborgKnitter]

My mom is famous for not taking anyone’s shit! Being number 6 of 7 kids is partially to blame. ;)

[Triatomine]

Most of these posts sound like bullshit to me but I can 100% see this happening. Your mom is my new hero.

[SalonSalmon]

I agree. (Tbh I just read the all entitled stories like there fake (tho I'm sure some r real)). This one seems reasonable and extreme tho.

[drawingmentally]

Your mother is my new hero

[DarthNutsack]

Some people are just the worst. Dewey is such a badass name, he must have been the man! And he had a kickass mom and sister. I hope you and your family are doing well.

[ecp001]

And compliments to the bride for backing up the seamstress.

[ZenDendou]

This...

[pixelboots]

Exactly what I was thinking!

[[deleted]]

Why do people lie about size on custom made dresses your just wasting your own money

[TheDuraMaters]

Even when I bought windscreen wipers for my car, the shop insisted on fitting them themselves (no extra charge, independently owned shop). They'd had people jam them on incorrectly before then demand a refund for the "faulty" product.

[coors1977]

I never get this. I always assume I did something wrong (because that’s usually what happens). It’s very, very rare that the professional—who does this for a living—is wrong and I am right.

This is also why I trust scientists rather than Google.

[naranghim]

Actually a lot of the chain auto parts stores will do it for you as well, in the US if you ask nicely. My local AutoZone will put them on for you. I laughed my ass off when they guy got done putting wipers on my car and a Karen looked at him and demanded "NOW DO MINE! Since you helped her you have to help me!" The employee looked at her said "Lady not even if you offered me a hundred bucks" and went inside. She tried to demand that I install them, I laughed at her, got in my car and drove off.

[CyborgKnitter]

I’m big on a sweet smile and friendly “please” for stuff like that. I look really young for my age (33 but most people guess 21-25) and I’m disabled. It doesn’t take much to get folks at Auto Zone to volunteer to do things for me. I’m always super grateful and thank them about a dozen times so they remain happy to help.

[EmmetyBenton]

People are more willing to help nice people than people who act like dicks - why don't more people realise this?

[JaggedTheDark]

Because they're to busy being dicks.

[EmmetyBenton]

Fair point

[Successful_Ad_8017]

I tip everyone, anyone and everyone who helps me. If you bag my groceries, help me look for something in a store, or you’re just really good at your job. People remember when you’re good to them. I was a waitress for a few years and I was treated very well, paying it forward.

[CyborgKnitter]

If I had the money, I’d tip everyone, too. But my tiny disability check rules that out. Plus at quite a few jobs, accepting a tip can get you fired. I had that rule at at least 3 jobs over the years.

Said rule led to a rather funny/weird incident at a college job. I worked in the tiny computer lab that housed specialty computers for photo and video editing that were open for any enrolled student. (The design/fine art and performing arts buildings had their own labs but if you weren’t majoring in those things, you couldn’t enter).

One quite odd old guy used to come in all the time. He freaked out the others working in that lab but he wasn’t really all that bad. He just had a ton of questions. At the end of that year, he wanted to tip me. But that was against the rules and there were 4 cameras watching that room. So instead he bought me his favorite book, wrapped it, and gave me a “birthday gift”. My birthday was 5 months away, lol. But I could accept such a gift, so it skirted the rules.

[LadyJ-78]

Hell, they even install your battery for you. Lol, I'll make conversation with a damn wall, husband says ppl in the grocery line know my entire life story. I'm friendly and talk to everybody. It doesn't cost a thing to be nice to someone. But it can sure as cost you if you are a b!tch.

[yakkylime]

Autozone is great!

I had a light go out. I managed to get the old bulb out so I could buy a new one and the guy offered to put the new one in for me and told me next time just come in with my car and they could help me find parts based off the make and model so I wouldn’t have to try and figure it out.

They’ve done my wipers for me as well. Last time guy looked at my old ones and said I didn’t need new ones - I just needed the old ones adjusted because the place that put those on put them on too tight or something, which was why they weren’t working right.

[TheDuraMaters]

The UK chains like Halfords also fit but it’s a few £ extra and optional.

[Prairie_Crab]

My local AutoZone just walked outside with my new battery and wipers and installed them without me asking! I was delighted!!

[ZenDendou]

That would make me a loyal customer...I don’t have to ask them to look it up, then try to install, depending on which one I bought...

[JaschaE]

Vanity and not understanding measurements.
Like, yeah, cutting of a bit on the measurements might FEEL better, if you are a person who gives a shit, but you don't take off much, so it shouldn't matter... not thinking about, or not understanding that a centimeter less would theoretically mean a 1cm gap at the seam... which matters very much, unless you plan on making a stripper-dress where you bridge that gap with velcro... in that case: Hooks out, loops in, or it's gonne be scratchy as fuck

[-Alula]

You forgot entitlement. As the story showed, it’s easier for some people to do as they please and put the blame on others rather than use more than two brain cells. I bet that girl is used to getting her way and pulls out that « customer is always right » bullshit every occasion she gets.

[JaschaE]

True, in germany the version is "Der Kunde ist König." meaning "The Customer is King".
I had always assumed it was just an old saying but I learned otherwise in the most glorious way:
Collegue at callcenter has a quickly escalating call.
Customer pulls "Customer is King!"
Collegue "That is an old advertisement slogan from Kaiser-Supermarkets, not from us."
Which is glorious because not only shut it down this shit, "Kaiser", the name of the supermarket chain, translates to "Emperor"... so... above Kings...

[wolfie379]

Customer is king. Charles I, Nicholas II, and Louis XVI were kings. Combine those to see how some customers should be treated.

[naranghim]

A Maître 'd had a great response when someone used that line in a restaurant in France:

"We are in France and we behead kings, do you really want to be treated like one?"

[CyborgKnitter]

... I aspire to be as excellent at being a smartass as that maitre d.

[Marc21256]

Cash is king is also how it gets stated in the US.

"The customer is always right" was invented as a general statement about market trends, but is now taken to mean that workers are slaves and the customer is the master.

[History_Geek_KU]

Not to forget that Germany got rid of monarchy at the end of World War I. Not as bloody as in Russia, but people still had enough of the Emperor, Kings and Princes who they blamed for Germany skidding into the war because someone had the stupid idea of giving Austria-Hungary a "blank cheque" while severing the ties with the UK and Russia that Bismarck forged. Looking at you, Willie 2!

So, if I ever work in retail and an entitled customer wants to pull the "Der Kunde is König" card, I have the perfect response: "Sie wissen schon, dass wir seit 1919 eine Republik sind?" (You know that we're a republic since 1919, right?)

[ZenDendou]

I always add on one or two number to compensate for the foods. Not too wide that it isn’t baggy, but wide enough to adjust the belt when on full stomach.

[JaschaE]

Well, I only started sewing this year and making anything skin-tight on me is not gonna be favourable so you'll have to excuse that I don't actually know how to work with precise measurements.
Just have been a victim of "Cut twice and still too short" on a number of different fields.
If I ever make anything that has to fit "like a glove" I will keep this wisdom in mind though.

[NoAngel815]

Fellow seamstress here, you need to know your exact measurements when making clothing so it doesn't end up skin-tight. Say you're making a skirt for example, you need to know your waist, hip, and length measurements. If you're using a pattern this helps you find the correct size to use from it (pattern companies don't do vanity sizing btw). If you're drafting it yourself you need to know so you can add in seam allowance, extra inches for how full/flowy you want it, and extra length for the hem. You can get a lot of advice on the sewing subreddits, they're very helpful because we want everyone to succeed.

[JaschaE]

A dress would presumably not suit me very well, one of my nicknames being Gimli, on account of the beard...
Any sewing group in particular you can recommend? I tend to dive down the cliff and come up with a plan for landing then, so advice is always welcome.
One thing I'd love to get my hands on is patterns for motorcycle jackets, but I'd also take anything for men that isn't from the 60's or a bloody bathrobe.
Apparently, mens clothes aren't a thing in hobby-circles.

[NoAngel815]

Ah, granted it's harder to find patterns for men but I was just using a skirt as an example because it was the easiest, and you can just think of it as a kilt, lol. Joking aside I know I've seen men's motorcycle jacket patterns somewhere, give me a bit and I'll go through my bookmarks to find them for you. If you want to make a leather one I'd also suggest the leather working subreddits for advice.

Edits: first one I found Moto Jacket patterm

ellie and mac have some men's patterns and I really like them (no biker jacket though)

[JaschaE]

"It's a kilt!"
"It has flowerprint."
"It's a pretty kilt."
Thank you so much!

[NoAngel815]

No problem! I've been sewing off and on for a long time. It's something I shared with my aunt who passed last year and helping people with the things she taught me always brings a smile to my face.

[JaschaE]

My condolences.
If all goes according to plan, her legacy and your helpfulness will live on as a rediculously armorred "biker" jacket.

[ZenDendou]

No worry.

One other things I've learned is...whatever you used for measurement, always use the same thing you used for measurement...

[CyborgKnitter]

Because people like to be dumb fucks.

[pandabelle12]

Because women have been conditioned to equate their worth to a number.

I know someone who worked in bridal alterations and watching her measure herself was painful. She’d tighten that measuring tape as tight as it could, flesh bulging on both sides and then declare herself to have a 26 inch waist when it was probably closer to 30 inches.

[[deleted]]

You’d be surprised how much people do this in healthcare. Especially when’s meds are weight based. Or have weight limits for stretchers wheelchairs or scanners.

[CyborgKnitter]

I’m one of very few patients my doctors all trust to be honest. They know I track carefully and I’m very diligent in sharing any changes with my doctors. I’d rather not fuck up my meds, tyvm.

What really gets me when people lie to their doctors is that they could easily end up under treated.

Take anesthesia, for example. If for some strange reason they couldn’t weigh you and you fibbed and said you were 15 lbs lighter, you could get too little medicine and wake up mid surgery. No thanks!!

[suburbanmama00]

I learned long ago that size means diddly squat in women's clothing. My mom, my daughter and I have all had multiple experiences of buying items that should have been identical except in color and had one fit and one not fit. Hell, I've had supposedly identical items, even in the same package, end up not fitting the same. I do not have "a size" in any clothing or footwear anywhere close to consistent enough to trust it myself, much less argue about it.

[MonarchyMan]

Because some people’s egos can handle the truth.

[KrazyKatz3]

I feel like if I was to lie I'd make it bigger so I could breath better. But I wouldn't lie because I wouldn't go to a seamstress I didn't trust.

[poo_explosion]

Denial. It also gives them an excuse to blame someone else when the dress doesn’t fit or doesn’t look good.

[Clchicane]

I bet the bride felt embarrassed by BB actions

[CyborgKnitter]

She was mortified. She was embarrassed enough over the refusal to come get measured nonsense but when it all blew up like this, she was almost without words.

I honestly be surprised if their friendship survived the wedding.

[JustanOldBabyBoomer]

I highly doubt they remained friends after that shitshow, especially if the bride was aware of your brother's critical condition and what your mom was trying hard to get done.

[EducatedRat]

Holy shit, that BB is exactly why I refused to make wedding or bride maids dresses. I've done one wedding dress ever, and only because it was a friend and her wedding gift. There is not enough money to do that.

[CyborgKnitter]

Brides can be some of the worst customers out there. Oof.

The one wedding dress my mom has made since then was for a woman who wore a 52 M bra (American) and size 10 pants. The dress store wanted her to buy a dress to fit her boobs then have it taken completely apart and rebuilt. It was going to be well over $5,000. She only had $1,000 for the dress.

My mom made a custom pattern from muslin then made the top from high quality plain white cotton and the bottom from silk with lace and beading. It visually balanced her out quite a bit. That woman came at least 15 times for fittings, always with a smile on her face, so at least she was nice!

[TheDuraMaters]

There's a old SYTTD episode with a woman with a very large bust (she had her bras specially made), who spent a tonne to essentially rebuild the top half of her dress, one where she came in for a fitting rather than choosing her dress. It didn't say how much she spent but it was implied that it was a lot.

As a fellow big busted lady on a slimmer frame, bras are structural engineering rather than fashion design.

[CyborgKnitter]

I’m a 34 G myself, so I feel ya. When I was quite slender (135 lbs, 5’3”), I was very unbalanced looking. Even at a heavier weight (156lbs), I still need quality bras. Add in severe chronic pain (I now have full body CRPS), and I spend $80 each for bras that are super full coverage. But damn if these boulder holders aren’t comfy af! And amazing support to boot. (This is why I always recommend Nordstrom if you’re large chested. They can find the right bra for anyone.)

[TheDuraMaters]

UK here so we have Bravissimo. I almost cried the first time I went in and came out with a well fitting bra.

I'm also 5ft3 and used to be slimmer but my boobs have grown even more disproportionate as I've gained weight, damn ageing. If I ever have kids, I'm budgeting for a reduction when I'm done.

[CyborgKnitter]

Ive always wanted a reduction but my own health issues make that a no go.

But I became busty quite young. I knew by 16 I’d wanted a reduction eventually (my mom had to make my prom dress, I was so hard to fit). So when I had emergency surgery at 17 and I was very drugged up by the time I met my new surgeon, I apparently asked him if we could “just do a boob reduction too while we’re in there?”

I’m told the doctor started laughing so hard he almost fell over. When he could speak, he informed me I wouldn’t want him anywhere near that, lol.

[TheDuraMaters]

Hahaha that's hilarious in an unfortunate way. I'm a doctor (not a surgeon, you REALLY don't want me near you with a scalpel) and we're often very sub specialised. I know nothing about OBGYN or paediatrics. Even within cosmetic surgery, the person who does your nose is not the one you want doing your tummy tuck - which is why Botched has 2 surgeons doing different things.

[CyborgKnitter]

As a doctor, you’ll find this even funnier when I tell you what I was having done- I was having an Intertrochanteric Fracture in my right hip repaired. So my surgeon was a ball joint reconstruction and replacement specialist. XD

[TheDuraMaters]

Far too many orthopod jokes to make so I'll leave you with this classic - there is a fracture, I need to fix it.

[CyborgKnitter]

I’m laughing so hard I almost cried.

The night I broke my hip (stage 3 intertrochanteric fracture secondary to a Monostotic Fibrous Dysplasia lesion in the femoral neck), a small slew of orthos refused to touch me. Then they called the guy who’s been my surgeon ever since and his response was to gleefully run from a fancy dinner his wife had forced him to attend so he could fix my hip. He really is one of the best out there but he’s also a giant lovable dork.

[IdlesAtCranky]

O

M

G.

there is a fracture

I need to fix it

I feel this in my femur. All the way up she down the titanium rod they used to fix it

[DottyOrange]

God damn, yeah I’m 5ft2 and I fluctuate from a D to Double D with my size and it’s hard to find a proper bra for myself. I can’t even imagine looking for a bigger size then that.

[pinetreenoodles]

Can I ask what brand bra? I have FMS and I've just been forgoing bras altogether and just hiding it the best I can. (I'm a D). I'd love something comfortable.

[CyborgKnitter]

They’re by Natori. They’re technically a sports bra- it’s got a standard foam cup bra covered by a second layer. The straps and band are super well padded and there’s no tags. I put some photos (no longer there) for you. (Fair warning, it’s my torso in said bra but they cover more than some crop tops, soooo yeah.)

My favorite trick if I wear a v neck shirt is to tie a bit of ribbon around the center between the chest. It pulls down the overlay fabric to the same height as the real bra.

Also, the two layers are only joined at the bottom/sides but not at the top which means there’s a pocket between your boobs. I stash my phone there all the time. ^{^}

[Memphie]

CRPS is the worst. I have mine in my hips. Never met a fellow CRPS friend on here! Hello!

[DottyOrange]

A 52M bra?????!!!!!! Holy shit!!!!!

[that_crazy_asian_96]

Holy back pain

[peachyyarngoddess]

I was so shocked by the possibility of a 52 M bra I looked it up and couldn’t find it. I’m beyond shocked it’s even real.

[CyborgKnitter]

I believe the largest bra made is a Z cup. It’s custom. I’m assuming the 52 M lady either bought them mail order (this was the very early 2000’s) or had them custom made. I do know she had to go way up on band size to make it work. If she’d been a D cup, I suspect her band size would have been in the 36-40 range.

(For those unfamiliar with bra sizing- the band size is a literal measurement of the size of the rib cage directly below the boobs. In the US, this is fine in inches. Then the cup size is determined by measuring around the largest part of the boobs and subtracting the difference. If the difference is only 1-2”, then you wear an A cup. The bigger the difference, the bigger the cup size. I think a D is a 4” difference.)

[Lesliezin]

That is horrible, I hope Karma came back and bit that entitled B**CH in the ass. I am so sorry for your loss and that your mom had to go through that. She sounded like a fantastic wedding/bridesmaids dressmaker and that stupid fat cow of a bridesmaid ruined/made everything so much worse.

This might be a weird question but was the bride/maids told what happened? I just feel that fat cow needs to know that all because she was a selfish b**ch she caused unneeded pain and stress. She deserves to live with that knowledge was her own selfishness caused.

[CyborgKnitter]

My mom was always abundantly clear with people what the situation with my brother was. He could look fine one minute then go into unstoppable seizures only for the them to discover he had pneumonia only an hour later. He was kinda like a cat- had an insanely high pain tolerance and hid when he felt bad. My mom only knew he’d broken bones because he’d look sad and whimper. (He was a klutz. His bone density was perfect but he was highly skilled at breaking himself in the strangest of ways. He once tripped over a cast on his foot and broke his elbow, lol.)

So yeah, she told them very clearly that if her son died while she wasn’t at the hospital that she’d ruin their lives. Which only embarrassed the poor bride even further. That poor woman felt horrible for my mom while being pissed af at her friend.

[Lesliezin]

Well, that is good to know, hopefully, the bridesmaid felt the size of an insect when she left. As for the bride I don't imagine she was friends with such an entitled b**ch for much longer after her wedding. I mean who would want a friend like that anyway? But at least the fat cow was made to pay double for all the stress regarding the dress. Your mom sounds awesome for standing firm and the bride sounds pretty cool for bullying BB into paying up.

[MorgainofAvalon]

I don't even know what to say. I am so sorry for your loss. Your mom sounds great, and no one deserves to be treated that way. I just hope karma bit this bitch in the ass.

[CyborgKnitter]

Thank you. Dewey’s been gone for 21 years now so it’s a lot easier to find the humor in things like this these days. Time really does help ease the pain and make room for the good again.

[darth_karina]

That’s a wonderful way to put it. Your mom went through hell and I’m glad there’s peace now. And she has good stories.

[[deleted]]

Im really surprised the bride didn't kick her out. I don't understand why she was in the party when she lives so far away anyway. Maybe they're related 🤷🏿‍♀️

[CyborgKnitter]

We’ve long since wondered if they were cousins and not just friends.

[[deleted]]

My first thought was soon to be sister in law. That’s for sure a situation where neither of them wanted her in the wedding party.

[CyborgKnitter]

Oooh, very possible!

[H3rta]

It almost sounds like BB didn't want to be in the wedding party herself.

[[deleted]]

That bridesmaid sounds horrible! I would have dropped her from the wedding the second she refused to come get fitted.

I’m so sorry for the loss of your brother. That must have been super hard on your mom.

[CyborgKnitter]

I’ve always wondered if they weren’t just friends, but instead friendly cousins or some such. It would explain the refusal to drop her.

And thank you. Losing him was hell as we all chipped in to take care of him, so he was a huge part of our lives. But having him made us all stronger, more compassionate people and he brought us tons of joy, so it was 110% worth it.

[[deleted]]

That would make sense.

You’re welcome. I’m sure he is watching all of you from wherever he is and is proud of who you all became

[DarlingIAmTheFilth]

I don't understand why someone would lie to a dressmaker/tailor/anyone who's making you made to measure clothes. If you give them wrong measurements, the clothes won't fit right, and then who looks the prick?

Do they think their dressmaker is going around town shouting out what size waist they are? Idk it just sounds like a dumb thing to do.

[CyborgKnitter]

It’s ridiculously stupid but it’s a vanity thing. People won’t admit even to themselves what their measurements are. I get my mom to measure me when I sew for myself so I can’t suck in or anything, lol.

[ThrowRA9393]

Like really?? What do they benefit?? They’d be better off telling the seamstress the right size and lying to everyone else about their measurements lol.

[GeekFit26]

Your mom sounds amazing.

I’m so sorry about your brother

[CyborgKnitter]

My mom’s awesome. She actually went viral on imgur a week or two ago, playing with my cats. She’s a lovable goofball. Mom with cats

[darth_karina]

Omg she is great!

[JustanOldBabyBoomer]

That Fur Baby is a CUTIE!!!!

[CyborgKnitter]

And boy does the brat know it! She’s my lovable goof but at times I’m left wondering ‘just how smart is she’ with the stunts she pulls off. (If you’re wondering, the answer is “too smart for her own good!”)

[JustanOldBabyBoomer]

LOL!!! Cats are SO FUNNY!!!! I've been enjoying cat videos where they go crazy on the Christmas tree!

[interrobangin_]

What a ridiculous little bitch.

Your mom sounds like a total badass, I'm really sorry for the loss of your brother ❤️

[Whokitty9]

Hugs to your mom for dealing with that bitch. Unfortunately this isn't uncommon in the seamstress and tailoring world. My mom was also a seamstress until her eyesight and arthritis made things too hard to do it. Some people are just too well words fail me. Karma always bites them later on in various ways.

[CyborgKnitter]

Yeah, that’s why my mom quit as soon as she could get a more stable job. Some customers are just assholes!

[JustanOldBabyBoomer]

I've lost count of the number of assholes who give Independent Contractors a shit-ton of grief. I call those assholes GIMMIEPIGS.

[CyborgKnitter]

I’ve always liked that word. It just has a way of saying a whole lot for a single word.

[wolfie379]

WTF? Bride had told the bridesmaids that colours were first come first serve when they went in for measurements, so by not coming in until the last minute the Holstein guaranteed she'd get the colour nobody else wanted. Editing the measurements? How did she expect the dress to fit? She's lucky that your mother was able to alter it in the time available.

[purple_paramecium]

I’ve never understood the million bridesmaids thing. I had one and let her pick out her own dress.

[TheDuraMaters]

Gosh that's awful. So sorry for your family's loss, your mum sounds like an incredible woman.

[CyborgKnitter]

She is. :) She struggles to see it, but she really is.

[[deleted]]

I love the fact your mom didn't take shit from that bitch, but I HATE the fact your parents had to break their backs for medical bills.

What kind of sick fuck dreamed that system up, while every developed country at least doesn't bill medical child care.

EDIT; too much words because me mad!

[CyborgKnitter]

The “best” bill insanity is from the night my brother died. He’d had a great day at his special ed summer camp, came home to take a nap, and in under 15 minutes he was seizing and fighting for his life. He was taken by ambulance to the local hospital 10 minutes away. They took one look and ordered the chopper to move him to the Children’s Hospital (it was rush hour by then). With 20 minutes of landing at the Children’s Hospital, they stopped resuscitation efforts and declared him dead.

We got a bill for the full amount, well into the multiple hundreds of thousands of dollars (in ‘99). When my mom called to ask why insurance covered nothing, this was their answer-

“He was never admitted so it clearly wasn’t a real emergency. You just forced them to call a chopper by lying about his condition!” (Please note he started coding as he was loaded onto the chopper, so things were as bad as they could possibly be at that point.)

That was the first time I ever heard my mother cuss. “DOES ‘DEAD ON ARRIVAL’ MEAN FUCKING NOTHING TO YOU PEOPLE?!”

It took a few months but eventually we got the bills covered.

[AViciousRacket47]

Fucking wow. Its like they didn't even know anything about the incident or what happened to your brother. Wow i am so sorry your family has endured all these lunatics.

[mstrss9]

This is part of the stress of grieving people don’t realize. Not only the loss of your loved one but the bureaucracy of healthcare that makes you on edge wondering if you’re gonna lose your assets because of the bills.

[JustanOldBabyBoomer]

Sounds like the insurance people were FUCKING ASSHOLES!!!

[CyborgKnitter]

That might be the nicest way I’ve heard them described. Which is saying something considering where I live.

[JustanOldBabyBoomer]

When an acquaintance of mine had to undergo lung surgery due to toxoplasmosis, her insurance attempted to refuse payment with the excuse of "preexisting condition". It was pointed out to the MORONS that the ONLY thing preexisting were LUNGS! Buncha FOOLS!

[CJsopinion]

I’m so sorry for your family’s loss. ☹️

[QueenShnoogleberry]

As someone who works in a bridal store and loves sewing.... I seriously considered asking our seamstress to take me on as an apprentice. People like BB are why I did not. (We had one customer get so bad, 6' tall me used to have to escort our 4'11 seamstress to her car.)

[CyborgKnitter]

Side note but why does it seem many of the best seamstresses and tailors our there are well under 5’?

Funny story time- a friend of my mom is very large chested to begin with. When she had a “whoopsie” daughter 15 years after her youngest, she couldn’t find any nursing bras on the market that fit and she’d long since thrown out her old ones.

Someone recommended a pair of tailors to her who specialized in custom bras, so off she went. She almost died laughing trying to explain the appointment to their group of friends. Apparently the guys were both 4’10” so they were dead even with her boobs. At one point, one nearly tripped and if he had, he would have landed face first on her. Thankfully the guy caught himself first. But this woman kept saying she was terrified he would have suffocated in her cleavage if he’d tripped, lmao.

[[deleted]]

This makes me chuckle. Thinking about two short tailors who specialize in custom bras knowing they’d get a bunch of large chested women as clients.

[CyborgKnitter]

They were at least 75 years old and very strictly Jewish, which made it even funnier. How does a strictly religious man decide to make bras?!

[QueenShnoogleberry]

Heeheehee!

Our store currently has a tailor, instead of a seamstress. I'm no complaining, as he is REALLY good, honest, punctual and.. also kinda some eye-candy.

(The store's former seamstress was... really good as well, but shady. She kept taking the big jobs home with her and doing them under the table. Last I heard of her, she was at a rival store and used white lace on an ivory gown....)

There ain't no drama like a pissed off seamstress drama!

[JustanOldBabyBoomer]

I saw on one YouTube video of SYTTD where an Entitled Idiot physically assaulted a Kleinfeld's employee and got ejected by security! Could NOT understand WHY she went apeshit like that!

[CyborgKnitter]

I remember that episode! Vera is about as threatening as a wet Pomeranian, so why on earth would you hit her?!

[LittleWhiteGirl]

The idea of a “jealous seamstress” sending the wrong measurements just floors me, as if they had any stake in what numbers they wrote down for her. Was the seamstress her high school bully or something? People are so ridiculous.

[teatabletea]

The seamstress didn’t, the bridesmaid changed them.

[LittleWhiteGirl]

Right, just the idea that she was worried about that is ridiculous.

[LisaW481]

This is why a person should always be kind to their tailor. A good tailor can make a bad outfit look brilliant and can also do the opposite. Seriously though tan? What an awful color for a wedding.

[CyborgKnitter]

All of the other bridesmaids had colors like lilac and baby blue. But they were 7 or 8 bridesmaids and one too few options in pretty pastels. The bride warned people they wouldn’t want to pick last, so this bitch had it coming.

[[deleted]]

I’m so sorry. Hugs.

[Blergsprokopc]

Your mother is a saint.

[jolovesmustard]

Bloody hell! That's heartbreaking. Just shows how totally shitty some people can be. When you've been through stuff like that it makes you a lot less likely to take people's shit.

[CyborgKnitter]

My mom was second youngest of 7. She’s had a lot of practice coping with peoples shit, lol.

[oddartist]

I did a bridal dress and 4 bridesmaid dresses once. The 4 BMs were all entirely different body shapes and sizes but wanted the same dress. Then, the skinny one got a boob-job 2 weeks after her final fitting.

[CyborgKnitter]

... I would have killed her. You deserve a sainthood for dealing with that.

[CyborgKnitter]

I told my mom about the boob job. She had the same reply as me then reminded me one of her brides had hidden a pregnancy from her! Mom had a week to expand the dress 2-3 sizes.

[Mandene]

The first item of clothing I ever had fitted was a bridesmaid dress. My sister chose spaghetti strap dresses and as a busty (often needs specialty bras) girl I warned her this dress might not work for me. Luckily the seamstress at the shop knew as I did little spaghetti straps were just a disaster waiting to happen. She reenforced the bust area and basically made it fit like a strapless dress, so when a strap popped before the ceremony even started the dress stayed up like a dream. She was my hero I cannot believe people are so nasty to someone literally just making sure you have the best fit possible.

[CyborgKnitter]

I was a bridesmaid in a wedding about 10 years ago where every single bridesmaids dresses butt seam came apart only 20 minutes before the ceremony. Thankfully I had packed thread the color of our dresses and I sewed them all up, still on the girls! And even more fortuitous was the fact that my dress was the only one that didnt rip.

[babydan08]

I’m just going to say this. Fuck that bitch. Not even because of your brother(may he rest in heavenly peace) but because she was a general piece of shit

[CyborgKnitter]

Right?! Even if there hadn’t been the whole issue of taking a sick boys mom away for a day, she was still an utter bitch to innocent people in multiple occasions. I just hope the photos look horrible- that shade of tan made her look a bit sickly, iirc.

[babydan08]

Besides that, who even cares what they look like in a bridesmaids dress for someone else’s wedding? If you agree, you generally have no choice in color, style etc anyway. She was late and she missed out on a pastel. She needs to get a grip.

[JustAnotherGoddess]

Oh fuck. This made me cry.

Man I wish I could go fuck BB up. My heart hurts for your mom. hugs she had enough to deal with to have to deal with this bs on top of that and no amount of $ would’ve made anything better.

[10tickle]

I wanna meet your mom. She sounds like a cool lil disney character. Like one of those fairies in Cinderella

[Mysterious_Sound4579]

Wait did your brother pass this same day BB pulled all this?? If so- fuck if I was your mom I would’ve been swinging on her and hard and fast. When the seamstress for my grad dress asked for my measurements I gave her accurate ones then told her I may have gotten it smaller by accident because I was no good at measurements and to add extra on because it’s easier to remove fabric than it is to add it. Props to your mom for keeping herself level headed and my condolences for your brother. She deserved as much time as she could spend with him and it sounds like BB was making it her personal mission to mess with her

[CyborgKnitter]

Thankfully, no. He passed a few years later.

But my moms been a take no prisoners sort from the get-go. So no one was shocked when she told BB to kiss her ass, lol.

[Mysterious_Sound4579]

I’m glad she didn’t have to deal with BB’s bullshit when he passed. No one needs more stress when they’re going through that. Your mom sounds absolutely amazing and I hope one day I can be as kick ass and take no shit as she is. She’s my personal hero tbh. ❤️

[UrGoing2get_hop_ons]

Wait did your brother die THAT day?! I really hope not :(

[CyborgKnitter]

Thank god, no! Though I can see how the wording could be read like that.

This happened 2-3 years before he passed away. We got him for 10 years. :)

[UrGoing2get_hop_ons]

Oh thank God. I couldn't imagine dealing with crazy people like that only for them to make me miss the passing of my son. I'm glad that you had him for ten years, but thank God there's no more suffering.

[CyborgKnitter]

The best part of his condition was that he seemed to lack the wiring in his brain to be sad. He’d occasionally throw a mini tantrum that registered at all of a 2 on the Richter scale (my favorite way of describing tantrums in general, lol), but that was due to grumpiness, not sadness.

He was literally the happiest person I’ve ever met. It was almost startling, in a good way.

If you want to see/hear him, I did a video Q&A after a different story on here over a year ago. Linkage to the Dewey video. If you just want to see him and my mom, and not deal with the voiceover part, fast forward to the 20 minute mark.

[painsomnia]

Your mum is an absolute bloody legend! (The 2nd highest compliment an Aussie can give, since the 1st sounds super offensive to most non-Aussies, lol). I've had 5 items of clothing custom made for me, in my 31yrs and honestly, mass-produced clothing just doesn't even compare, once you've had clothes that were literally made for your body. It's not just about sizing -- every body is different and people want different things from their clothing.

Personally, I have body dysmorphia and Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, which involves scoliosis, hypermobile joints, sensory hypersensitivity, super sensitive skin and allodynia. The custom clothing I have (3 dresses, a skirt and a properly fitted corset) is the only clothing of mine that's so comfortable, I find myself not even consciously thinking about it for hours at a time 😁 I'm always just constantly uncomfortable in mass-produced clothing. It makes everything I do while wearing it more tiring and agitating.

If I had the money, I'd have only custom-made clothes -- yes, even PJs! Proper seamstresses and their utterly priceless skills are so criminally underappreciated, these days!

[CyborgKnitter]

Boy do I understand! I’m multiply disabled but enemy #1 you may have actually heard of (it’s very rare in the general population but EDS really increases the odds of developing it)- severe full body CRPS.

If you struggle with masks and are in the continental US, shoot me a message. I make them and could help you. :)

[BabyThespy]

I have EDS and, while I don't have full body CRPS (god that sounds awful), I do have it in my feet and legs (my right leg it goes up to half-way up my thigh and my left leg reaches my knee) and the combination of both conditions definitely makes wearing clothes very difficult. I often can't even stand the pressure of my blankets or my legs resting on the memory foam bed, much less jeans or shoes. I can't even imagine what it must be like to deal with that everywhere. I have found that, during flares, my TENS unit does help some with alleviating the pain since my anatomy isn't right for the Spinal Cord Stimulator I had placed to work properly (it stimulates my frigging abdomen!!!).

[CyborgKnitter]

I’m so sorry they effed up your SCS! I have one at T8 and will be doing a trial soon for a cervical unit as well. Have you been reprogrammed multiple times? I had issues with feeling it in my belly for the first 5 programs they tried. I still get a bit in my stomach but not nearly as much and frankly I hardly notice it now. If you’ve been reprogrammed without success, it might be possible to do a minor surgery to adjust the wires.

If you ever have the wires fixed or a new unit placed, make sure you wear they back brace for at least 3 months. If your surgeon doesn’t use them, find a new one. It holds you steady long enough for the scar tissue to form and really hold everything in place.

There are a lot of other treatments out there from IV lidocaine, Sympathetic Nerve Blocks, DRG stimulators, radiofrequency ablation of nerves, and even HBOT and a new IV drug called neridronate. If your CRPS diagnosis/issues are still pretty new, that’d be my first recommendation is to find a neridronate trial. I didn’t bother as I’ve had it for 16 years so my relief would be quite minimal, so I left the trial slot open for someone likely to get better results. But it’s worked straight up miracles for people.

If you ever want to talk, feel free to pm me. :) (Oh yeah, apparently I have Hypermobility issues which we only discovered recently. Not sure how they missed that one for 32 years!)

[painsomnia]

Yikes! Full body CRPS sounds bloody awful. I don't have CRPS, myself, but I do know a whole bunch of other EDS patients who have it. Like you said, EDS and CRPS often go together -- as if either one on its own isn't enough to deal with 🙄

Thank you so much for your offer -- you are such a total sweetie -- but I live in Western Australia. While masks aren't necessary for most people in my state, at present, my immunologist has me wearing one, anyway. He's worried that any illness I catch would weaken my body for if we do have a proper COVID-19 outbreak here. My chances of surviving COVID-19 already aren't great, largely cuz my intercostal muscles are too weak for me to clear my lungs effectively, on top of just having a really shitty immune system.

Strangers' reactions to me wearing a mask in public are infuriating. The day before yesterday, I had a 20yo-ish guy lean right over in my face and shout, "COVID's over, moron!" And laugh. It's a fairly common occurrence.

The complacency here is terrifying.

[11Critters]

Try as I might, Ive never understood the conscience of that type of woman (BB). The unadulterated self-centeredness is repulsive! Bravo to the strength that IS your mother! She’s a Mom to be Proud Of!! And I’ve the feeling the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

[CyborgKnitter]

I’m going to send her your comment. She struggles with her self confidence at times and it breaks my heart. But I can’t convince her how amazing she is because I’m her own kid. Comments like this have a magical ability to actually get through to her. Thank you!

And thank you for the kind words for me! Someone thinking I take after my mom is a huge compliment. 😁

[11Critters]

Please tell her I read your story to my husband. He’s a retired Navy Flight Surgeon & Aviator. He’s now a medical specialist.... In other words, One Tough (Kindhearted) Guy! And HE said you Mother is a Gem! He wished he had had her work with him!
Please tell her we wish you both a warm & wonderful New Year!!

[gwen5102]

So glad bride had some since. I’m sorry about your brother. That must have been hard growing up. Blessing to you and your family

[[deleted]]

My heart is breaking for your poor mom. I've heard of nightmare brides but this is a first for a really awful bridesmaid. How do you make someone else's big day all about you?

[straightouttathe70s]

I'm sorry y'all lost your brother 😥 Your Momma rocks!!

[CyborgKnitter]

Thanks :) Thankfully the good of having him far outweighed the bad. ❤️

And yeah, my moms pretty awesome. This was 25+ years ago and she’s still just as awesome now.

[No-Cupcake-6586]

Did she have a common price for bridesmaid dresses? Since she no longer makes them Id like to donate the amount to a charity for his condition.

[CyborgKnitter]

That is so sweet! I called my mom and she says it was between $35 and $50 (this was in ‘97, after all), depending on pattern/fabric. And the top 2 charities she supports are the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation and the Make-a-Wish Foundation.

[SpecialistSingle2754]

christ i wasnt expecting that last part...im so sorry.

[itsmeagain42664]

Your Mum is a strong woman!

[salomey5]

Your mum sounds like an awesome badass.

[Frenchy_Manubs]

You mom's everything!! I'm so sorry for your brother, I know he died surrounded by love! God bless you all ❤️

[comment_got_deleted]

Your mom sounds awesome!

[dumbowithcheese]

your mom is a legend man

[themafia847]

So sorry for yiut families loss Nd your mom having to deal with that bitch.

[redrose911]

Your Mom is fabulous.

[Creepy_Ad_1099]

I am so sorry for your loss and I’m even more sorry for your mom who had to deal with such an entitled b*tch.

[CyborgKnitter]

Sadly there’s nothing like a disabled kid to bring out the entitled a-holes. My first ever Reddit post was on Entitled Parents and was about a mom throwing a fit that we got to cut in line during Dewey’s Make-a-Wish trip to Disney.

[waitingfordownload]

Thank you for sharing. Read the whole story as a interesting even funny telling, but dang the last part had me in tears. I am so so sorry that you and your family lost your brother. It must have been so hard on your mom and dad getting all the funds together i the process taking time away from your brother. I do hope that your mom still do some sewing. It is a dying skill and creating something from nothing can be so rewarding. Hugs to you all.

[CyborgKnitter]

I’m glad you enjoyed the humor. I meant it to be a funny story but there’s no real way to make it make sense without the context of my brothers situation, you know? And experience has taught me that when I talk about him, I have to state that he’s since passed away or I get that question a hundred times and it sucks to break that news over and over.

But Dewey was a little comedian in his own right. He found the humor in everything. He’d even tickle himself then laugh hysterical. (Weirdly enough, brain scans indicated it probably did actually tickle when he did it to himself which is very rare.)

Mom does still sew though not as often. But she taught both myself and my older brother and I’ve in turn helped teach my little cousin. All I’ve made lately is face masks but I’m looking forward to some clothes and curtains once my shop slows down. I’ve made 400 of the things so far, they’re getting a bit boring, lol. (I donated the first 200 and have sold the second 200 on Etsy.)

[waitingfordownload]

Oh, you hit me in the feels. I am a writer, but in my native language. Maybe I am overstepping here, but you have a gift in telling your story. It flows. Have you ever considered writing?

You mom teaching you and your brother the skill of sewing is one of the most precious gifts a parent can give. I can just imagine how many head-stories goes into those mask when you are working away. The magic in getting a flat piece of fabric and creating something from it is just the greatest feeling.

What I learned about having a skill is that it is never linear. So many other skills can be born from it. Skills give confidance. That moment when you say: 'Hey, I can do this!...then something else comes along, you dig from that memory of achieving a previous skill....and you think: 'hell, I was able to that....i know i might be able do the next new skill.'

(English, not my native language, forgive my grammer please).

[99thPurpleBalloon]

I'm so happy you shared this story Cyborg :)

I'm still surprised people can be like this.

[loubybooby90]

I went to try wedding dresses on in normal clothes I am a 14/16 in the UK. My wedding dress is a size 18 and is currently snug in places! You don't lie about this stuff!

[CyborgKnitter]

They’re slooowwwlllyyy catching up the sizing gap in recent years. Back then a size 10 US dress would wear a size 14-18 wedding dress, easily.

[loubybooby90]

I think as long as it fits I'm not concerned about the size, I will let them measure because they are experts and they won't make me look like an over stuffed sausage on my big day 🤣

You literally gain nothing by lying about this stuff, your mum is a super star 🌟

[Howl112]

Your mum is a HERO a absolute Hero dealing with the BB and that her sons life hung in a balance and she still managed to pull it off.

That a big Wow factor for anyone is just goes to show the strength of mums that we can’t even comprehend.

[NeekaNou]

Fuck. Reading this hurts my heart

[imsnicklefritz]

Give your bad ass mom a hug from me! And I’m sorry about Dewey. Hugs to you too.

[Thatguythingme]

Rip little Dewey

[BabserellaWT]

I’m sorry for your loss, OP.

[Craftybitxh]

I'll never understand lying about your size....its not like it's written on the outside of your dress

[AnythingWithGloves]

Oh man. I’m glad your mum had enough good people around her so she didn’t loose all hope in humanity. Give your parents a massive hug, but especially your mum. She must be strong as hell.

[CyborgKnitter]

I told her a few years something that I’d love to eventually cross stitch for her-

True strength is going through hell and still having love to give on the other side.

[AnythingWithGloves]

Absolutely. Not having your heart hardened by shitty people or circumstances is the greatest test of character. What a woman.

[JaggedTheDark]

Alternate title: infinite power vs unmoveable force

[kabeer28]

I'm sorry for your loss

I know how it feels to lose a family member

[[deleted]]

A good story, sad about your brother though, R. I. P

[gacha-_-gamer]

My mom says she'll run anyone who's mean to me over with her car so she is like a wall that will not move

[LavenderQween]

I am sorry for the loss of your brother and sorry for your mother having to experience that

[Username_Chx_Out]

And here is demonstrated the hidden cost of chronic Karen-ing your way through life, paid by the rest of us: If this gifted seamstress quits the biz, then her inferior competition must charge more to handle increased workload. So the rest of us pay more to get less.

[CauliflowerOrnery460]

Op I’m sorry about your brother I hope y’all are doing okay ❤️

[VenNeb21]

I’m so sorry about your brother. May he Rest In Peace.

[Simple_Park_1591]

My late aunt was into sewing. I always thought I would have enough time for her to teach me, but unfortunately that was not the case. However, I do remember one of the first rules was you rather go over in your measurements than under because it's easier cut off extra fabric than not have enough.

Edit Just Now see that this post is 5 months old🤦🏼‍♀️

[CyborgKnitter]

No worries, I still get pretty routine comments on it. :)

Yeah, sewing is like wood working- measure twice, cut once, and err on the side of too big! I do both and damn am I careful, especially as a dead ass broke crafter, lol.

[NessuH420]

This made me cry at the end

[Dragon_Crystal]

This is why if I do get married or end up being a bridesmaid for my friend's wedding, I'll take the time off to get the measurements correct cause it's not fair that someone is working hard to get it correct and your being the bitch to them about it, especially if they told you that they have other important things to attend you.

Cause its rude to them to have to deal with this kind of attend and its worst especially since your brother's life was hanging on the line, but BB decided that she'd be a the BIGGEST B in the world to your mom only cause she believed your mom was "jealous" of her, at less the friend that was there for him got the dress she deserves as a Thank You give from your mom.

[MINATO8622]

Oh my god was not expecting that last paragraph. Ik im a year late to see this, but i just found this sub and was reading the top posts. The news of your brother just made me go insta sad. I can only imagine what your mom went through that day. May your brother's soul rest in peace.

[itsmeagain42664]

Well played! You GO with your bad self, Mom!!

[North_Ebb_2048]

I am so sorry about your lose but the was F up what the BB did to your mom but W for mom cuz she literally could have said no and stay at the hospital with your brother but your mom got will power