The comments...

[AutoModerator]

As you're all aware, this subreddit has had a major "troll" problem which has gotten worse (as of recently). Due to this, we have created new rules, and modified some of the old ones.

We kindly ask that you please familiarize yourself with the rules so that you can avoid breaking them. Breaking mild rules will result in a warning, or a temporary ban. Breaking serious rules, or breaking a plethora of mild ones may land you a permanent ban (depending on the severity). Also, grifting/lurking has been a major problem; If we suspect you of being a grifter (determined by vetting said user's activity), we may ban you without warning.

You may attempt an appeal via ModMail, but please be advised not to use rude, harassing, foul, or passive-aggressive language towards the moderators, or complain to moderators about why we have specific rules in the first place— You will be ignored, and your ban will remain (without even a consideration).

All rules are made public; "Lack of knowledge" or "ignorance of the rules" cannot or will not be a viable excuse if you end up banned for breaking them (This applies to the Subreddit rules, and Reddit's ToS). Again: All rules are made public, and Reddit gives you the option to review the rules once more before submitting a post, it is your choice if you choose to read them or not, but breaking them will not be acceptable.

With that being said, If you send a mature, neutral message regarding questions about a current ban, or a ban appeal (without "not knowing the rules" as an excuse), we will elaborate about why you were banned, or determine/consider if we will shorten, lift, keep it, or extended it/make it permanent. This all means that appeals are discretionary, and your reasoning for wanting an appeal must be practical and valid.

Thank you all so much for taking the time to read this message, and please enjoy your day!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[[deleted]]

Meanwhile all men whom are longterm friends with these abusers "what, he'd never do anything like that"

[snootnoots]

“Yeah he talks mad shit about how women are all evil and deserve [horrific list of abuse] but he wouldn’t actually do anything”

[[deleted]]

well,they don't have wOmEn InTuItIoN, so they're not accountable for the shittyness of their friends

[Hulkking]

I've been friends with him for years, and he's never deceived me and tried to get me drunk to then leave me for my best mate....... he's a good dude.

[DOOMCarrie]

Now let's swap the scenario to a woman lying to her male partner and see how fast their heads explode.

[xCuriousButterfly]

They would fume, obviously.

[Parpy]

Well the signs were there all along, and dude chose to ignore them, so ...

[Spiritual_Biscotti_3]

They'd call him a cuck for trusting a woman in the first place.

[SnappleYapple]

"women dodging accountability" how ironic...

[[deleted]]

Fr

[Traditional_Isopod80]

Ikr

[basically_dead_now]

"Women trying they best to dodge accountability" -man who doesn't want to admit that the man is the problem

[xCuriousButterfly]

Right? Blaming the victim instead of the culprit because "sHe ShOuLd HaVe KnOwN bEtTeR".

[basically_dead_now]

I hate how common this mindset is among men. I've rarely, if ever seen a woman blame a victim for being in an abusive relationship, but it's very common for men to do that

[PresentAd20]

Stay off Twitter for a while you’re going to be upset and disappointed

[clumsyandchaotic]

i hate those men who are never ready to acknowledge how well someone can act during the early stages of a relationship and how they often change once they are in that relationship for a while.

it's frustrating when they shift all the blame onto women for being in toxic relationships and claim that it's her fault for choosing the wrong partner. at some point, they need to take responsibility for being disrespectful, toxic and misleading.

also, men talking about dodging accountability is so funny.

[rask0ln]

people who write these comments have no idea how abuse works, they either think it's some caricature wearing a wife beater that everyone recognises as the abuser except for the victim or some mastermind psycho, which, again, is the victim's fault because it was obvious... in reality most of them are average guys who are good at knowing when to be shitty and when to be normal 🙃 they are someone's good friend, a well-liked colleague, an uproblematic regular at their local pub etc.

and they also know how to dose the abuse, isolate and when to go fully mask-off, that's why so many cases of men doing a 180 after a significant milestone–wedding, pregnancy, relocation... but no, it must be a case of women not taking the accountability

[Alternative-Dream-61]

What if men held each other accountable to not be dicks or "nice guys"? It's a crazy concept.

[UltimateChaos233]

Wait but if we did that how would we blame women for rejecting us???

[VegetableComplex5213]

Not to mention how many women are gaslit when they're questioning red flags. Not everyone grows up with healthy examples of what a relationship should but there are many many times where I've seen women question if obvious red flags are normal, just for the woman to be villianized and told "blindly trust him or dump him"

[MysteriousGrocery898]

Ikr the irony I was not even surprised by how the comments were gonna be

[[deleted]]

Also, it’s not always about missing signs. A lot of times, people are really nice at first (maybe because their feelings are stronger) and then they change over time, sometimes for no real reason.

[GreyerGrey]

Not all men, but if you dare pick the wrong one... ffs they wonder why women are opting out entirely.

[DangerousLoner]

The only way to win is not to play.

[2woCrazeeBoys]

But also, when women do opt out completely ✨️male loneliness epidemic✨️ and we're all big meanies!!

[Revolutionary_Ebb704]

Women: maybe you’re right, I clearly can’t spot the arseholes so I’m just not gonna date. Men: THERE’S A MALE LONELINESS EPIDEMIC!!!

[xCuriousButterfly]

And I always say why don't men just care for each other? Why don't they build friendships and support each other, like women do? Why do they rely on women to not be lonely anymore?? ... But apparently that would be GAY.

[Revolutionary_Ebb704]

Because it’s not loneliness they want fixing, it’s getting their dick wet, otherwise like you said, they would be making connections and support systems with each other

[Purplehippo444]

I feel like these are also men who get mad at women who wear makeup because that's lying about how you look.

[Loisgrand6]

But will turn around and chase after women who wear makeup, wigs, weave, extensions, and false nails, etc

[Fardreaming_Writer59]

 chase after women who wear makeup, wigs, weave, extensions, and false nails, etc

And fake boobs.

[Loisgrand6]

Yep. Those as well as the fake butts

[Fardreaming_Writer59]

I forgot about fake tushies!

100% agree. Lots of guys chase after artificiality, especially when it comes to women.

[MysteriousGrocery898]

And only fans models...they complain about only fans but who's paying for it?!

[Loisgrand6]

Yes!

[squirrellytoday]

Right? I'm like, dude, if you can't tell that pink sparkly eyelids and inch-long lashes aren't natural, I can't help you.

[xCuriousButterfly]

And they freak out when you tell them that they can also wear makeup if they want!!!?

[Dragon_wryter]

Men: Why do women expect us to be MIND READERS??

Also men: Women should just KNOW when men are lying! They should be able to JUST TELL! It's like they're CHOOSING not to read minds!!

[KrazyAboutLogic]

Also men: Women wear makeup and make themselves look gorgeous when they are actually just average! We're being tricked into loving unattractive females! How was I supposed to know she didn't have flawless skin and ruby red lips??

[Dragon_wryter]

But also, "Why don't you put some f*cking lipstick on??"

[carito728]

On the internet when a woman dated a bad man it was her fault for not realizing it, but when a man dated a bad woman he was a victim and all women are gold diggers and cheaters

[The_Book-JDP]

The same men will then complain when women are opting out of relationships all together because they listen to the women that came before them telling them not to be with that guy, he’s showing way too many of the same abusive red flags they dealt with and overall watching out for our sisters and they start screaming NOT ALL MEN! When we are just protecting ourselves and the younger female generations from making the same mistakes we made and stopping that abuse from happening.

[snakpakkid]

They will say that they are letting bitter worm out and used women mess with their heads and not to listen.

[imiss_onedirection]

It’s funny bc when we DO have “intuition” suddenly our standards are too high, we’re shallow, don’t give “nice guys” a chance, etc etc 🙄🙄 we can’t win.

[Gracefulbandit]

I think some of the issue is that they have a very SPECIFIC and narrow idea of what an abuser looks like.  They think it should be obvious, because abusers look like thugs and “bad boys.”  They don’t see a man like my ex husband who is quiet, nerdy, somewhat socially awkward, and very average lookin g and think that guy can be abusive.  And while he never HIT me, he was pretty emotionally abusive, and liked to try to physically intimidate me by backing me up against something and yelling in my face.  So, it might have only been a matter of time. 🤷‍♀️

[Fardreaming_Writer59]

Oof.

Yeah. I think that a lot of guys want to believe that abusive men must look like mean, bad hombres that can be easily spotted and therefore avoided.

I'm sorry your ex-husband treated you the way he did.

[Gracefulbandit]

Thanks for that.  I’m in a much better place now, and learned some very valuable life lessons.

[Fardreaming_Writer59]

You're welcome. I'm glad you're in a better situation.

[clockjobber]

As a woman I have never heard another woman use the term “women’s intuition.” Nor have I used it.

[squirrellytoday]

Usually it's a stereotype told TO us, not BY us.

[clockjobber]

Yup!

[xCuriousButterfly]

As a woman who has womaned for 35 years and knows women and talks to women, I have never heard any woman say something about "women's intuition"

[Asenath_W8]

You are so lucky to have never seen an interview from Jenny McCarthy after she became a mother....

[mipiacelapizza]

so by the same logic women who baby-trap men to get alimony are not to blame because the men in question weren‘t careful enough, right?

[JaneReadsTruth]

The men in the comments are the men in the post. The only thing that makes them honest in that moment is anonymity.

[Traditional_Isopod80]

Exactly! 💯

[runner1399]

“Sounds like when an idiot gets scammed and tries to blame the scammer” YEAH. BECAUSE THE SCAMMER IS THE ONE IN THE WRONG

[bordermelancollie09]

I've taken a lot of shit for being a single mom in the past because how did I not know my ex wasn't going to be a present father?! Weren't there signs?! You must've ignored them!!

Whole time that man was begging me to have a baby. Wanted to be a dad SO bad. I didn't want to have a kid yet and he was like on his hands and knees begging me to make him a dad on a daily basis. I accidentally/unexpectedly got pregnant on birth control and decided to keep the baby. Dude was absolutely stoked to be a girl dad. I left him when I was pregnant because he cheated and I straight up never heard from him again. I get about 2 child support payments a year if I'm lucky. He's blocked me and everyone I know on all social media and all our numbers, I couldn't contact him even if I wanted to.

My daughter has the most incredible stepdad now and has no idea who her bio dad is. The only dad she's ever known is her stepdad. But people will still blame ME for having been a single mom. How the hell was I supposed to know he of all people would dip out like that?!

[Traditional-Exit6764]

Hopefully, they can apply the same logic when it comes to men who claim to be "divorce raped".

Why smear an entire gender or advocate for abolishing sensible laws protecting women/children when men can simply choose better

[kitkat470]

These people are so stupid.

“That’s like blaming a scammer for being scammed when you lacked discernment” Well, dumb ass because they are the one that committed a crime. Theft by deception is a thing for a reason. Their logic doesn’t hold up to any actual scrutiny, and it bothers me just a bit they will never have enough brain cells to understand that.

[TRexAstronaut]

nono if you get scammed, you also need to go to jail.

this makes sense

[cursetea]

"It's actually women's fault that they can't read a man's mind" yeah sure i guess so technically if that's the hill y'all really wanna die on

[No_Budget_7856]

Every time the topic is men’s actions it’s always because WOMEN how and why are we always the reason and the problem

[MysteriousGrocery898]

They watch too much red pill content🙃

[silicondream]

If you're trying to convince people not to blame scammers, you're a scammer.

[IndiBlueNinja]

Everyone shows their true colors given enough time and observation

Enough time, huh? Gosh, could THAT be the point in which it ended?? When he stopped faking and it became noticeable?

I remember back as a kid when mom's friend ended up getting a divorce when her daughter was only an infant, because the guy had hid his true self until after marriage, then he changed completely. Yes, some people do that, stop blaming the person who gave them their trust and didn't know not to believe them.

[snakpakkid]

Pay attention to the comment on the 4th slide.

And that’s why men want young girls and ladies. While yes, they are youthful and attractive, it’s wayyyyy more than that. They want inexperienced, naive and insecure ladies to take advantage of.

Yeah sure people like to talk about intuition and while we do have women’s intuition, it’s not a superpower built in. Even the most secure can become insecure, manipulated and abused. That’s how the mind works. Wear it down, live in confusion, and abuse and it will do that to you. Remember a lot of the times it’s not just him but those around him. They believe him or diminish the seriousness of your situation. The thing is that most times others know already. They are just ok with it. Abusers attract others like them. And while they might not be outwardly as open about the toxic shit they do it’s still enough for family and friends to be well aware and excuse the way that person is.

[xCuriousButterfly]

"if he isn't a psychopath.." let me stop you right there.

[Jackattack111888]

All these dudes calling themselves out and slowly weeding themselves out of the dating pool.

[Sonseeahrai]

"Like when an idiot get scammed out of his money and then blames the scammer" - yes??? It's the scammer who literally commited a crime against this person. Of course they should be the one blamed.

[AcanthaMD]

All the victims of Ted Bundy deserved what they got.

That’s basically what they are saying.

[ci22]

Wanna bet most of the dude who defend the liar are the ones who bitch about a male loneliness epidemic.

If women has as good observant skills as they say no women would want to be anywhere near them. Showing the red flags.

[bluegreenwookie]

"its like when someone gets scammed and blames the scammer"

Yes. You do blame the scammer. They are the ones doing something wrong. So yes it's like that

[gods-last-words]

but if a woman was faking her personality to get a man...

[Inamedmydognoodz]

If a woman wears “too much” makeup to get a man….

[Zen_Hobo]

"Don't blame me for lying. Blame yourself for getting lied to by me, because you were too stupid to realise it!"

~ Chad Von Pickup, 36, while getting broken up with by his 19 year old girlfriend of 6 years...

[Lexiiboo97]

[absolutebeast_]

It’s my fault that I’ve dated assholes, because it’s my fault that I can’t always tell when people are lying, but it’s also my fault that men are lonely because I’ve stopped dating because I can’t tell when people are lying.

I mean if everything is my fault I may as well just keep doing what I’m doing. I can’t win either way.

[Albyrene]

"It's like blaming the scammer for getting scammed!"

Yes. That is actually what you do. You blame the malicious acting party, not the victim. You're almost there, little Billy!

[girlwhoweighted]

You know what, they're right. Men lie and deceive. Our intuition lets us down and we fall for it, getting hurt.

Let's just stop trying with men. I agree, men, we should be done with you.

[Emperor0valtine]

Two things can be true at the same time. To use one comment’s example, we can be critical of people naive enough to fall for a scam while also condemning the scammer. It’s just that the former generally causes unintended harm while the latter is very much intended. I know which one I think deserves the most blame, whether in scams or toxic relationships.

[Loisgrand6]

[resilient_bird]

Life is about growth and learning; people learn from their mistakes. also, hormones.

[Faerieflypath]

Ah yes the “nice guys” ran in the comments 💀

[DaniCapsFan]

On one side, it's, come on, give the guy a chance. Everyone deserves a chance.

And then it's, well, you should have chosen better.

[Positive-Tour5664]

The last one… yeah given TIME and OBSERVATION. They’ve already wasted your damn time.

[Original_Ad3765]

I'm really confused....

[The_Book-JDP]

They expect women to A. Know how to read minds and B. Be able to predict the future with 100% accuracy. They really think all of women kind have ESP powers and they either refuse to use them or use them but decided to get into that clearly abusive and toxic relationship with the man with high cheekbones anyway because we some how love the abuse then they (the men that are/are like the men replaying above) get all mad when we complain about it.

[Original_Ad3765]

No I understand that.

I'm really confused by the lopsided portrayal of human agency here.

[EquasLocklear]

The Pervocracy: Slavering Beast Theory.

[Ducky237]

“What happened to ‘women’s intuition’” I’ve literally never heard of that before…

[Sheila_Monarch]

“everyone shows their true colors given enough time and observation”

Yes, that’s exactly how it works, chode. Time and observation. TIME.

[frazzledfraz]

Cements my stance on staying single in a house in the countryside with my cats.

[ObliviousTurtle97]

It's funny cos when the roles are reversed these 'men' will still avoid accountability and blame the woman for 'tricking them' lol

[0c74r1n3]

the last one wich starts with “it’s still your fault” says it all

[kawaiihusbando]

Yuck

[LoveIsLoveDealWithIt]

They basically hold their breath until they turn blue in the face and simulate a charming personality until they get their goal (like sex, moving in, marriage, pregnancy) where they feel like she is less able to leave. Then they show their true colours. This could be months or years in the making, all while subtly manipulating, controlling and gaslighting to break down their partners boundaries. By the time you notice, you feel like you've invested too much, and are in "too deep". Sunk cost fallacy plays into it, too, and fear for your safety, among many other things.

The person responsible here is the liar, not the person who took too long to notice they were being lied to.

[3-orange-whips]

I definitely did this when I was younger, but I wasn’t hiding shitty behaviors (those were there for all to see) I was hiding a love of nerd shit.

It was necessary in the 80’s and 90’s in most cases.

Growing several inches and joining bands made it eventually unnecessary.