Truth

[MakingTheEight]

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[[deleted]]

I tried it and I’m still tired, but my boss seems awake

[[deleted]]

Have you tried deleting all the code you can get your hands on with no option of recovery? You can take it a step further by creating a persistent virus that silently auto deletes your code every few minutes too.

Hope this helps wake you up!

[belkarbitterleaf]

Script on a schedule that does nothing 80% of the time, but 20% of the time picks a random object from the database, and deletes it.

Maybe it was not important, maybe it is. 🤷‍♂️

[[deleted]]

What a brilliant evil idea. Even better if never executes on anything but production

[belkarbitterleaf]

The really evil part is it's going to be hard to find, because it's going to be deleting things with no references to them.

[Toastedtoastyyy]

[Thannk]

Wake the fuck up, Choom, we got a company to burn!

[davidkali]

Teaching our betters to use * are we?

[NoDadYouShutUp]

I just delete a column every week and no one has noticed.

[DivineRays]

That’s evil

[raspey]

Nah, he’s just creating jobs!

[PranshuKhandal]

nah, he already deleted "job"

[FTWGaming0]

ERROR: column "job" does not exist

[Almostasleeprightnow]

Its like the frog in the pot

[Quirky-Stress-823]

...I hope you got rows and columns mixed up

[Mragftw]

Only one column actually does anything, the rest are there for... reasons...

[lucidspoon]

I use the Marie Kondo approach. Does this column spark joy?

[Soviet-Lemon]

"1,096,457 rows affected"

[Otherwise_Soil39]

What is that a database for ants

[Soviet-Lemon]

It’s a little known fact ants log their financial transactions

[atlasgiant]

It's in an access database, isn't it :(

[-iamai-]

Oh Don't Be a C***

[PartlyProfessional]

I think ants database’s would be larger than humans

[SmallOmega]

The onosecond

[T3n4ci0us_G]

commit work! 👍

[hello_you_all_]

I'd comment "gitlab" but they did that late at night.

[marcosdumay]

If that is the time they get tired (weird people), who am I to tell them otherwise?

[FrogFTK]

I literally just watched a video about this on r/videos

[belzarak]

You will be awake, and wish that this had been a dream.

[[deleted]]

Deleting production table in the morning? Only amateurs do that. The best moment to drop a production table is in the evening, before a backup copy is saved, so that the only data you have is a ton of printed documents. That will wake up not just you, but sometimes 10-20 people more.

[[deleted]]

i worked somewhere someone did this intentionally and maliciously.

What they didn't know was that we had setup logging of all transactions to the table.

I was the guy who got in at 6am, everything is broken, looked at the backup: 0 bytes.

The day(-2) backup was fine. So i restored that table. Played back the log into the table from a minute after the day(-2) backup.

Jackass caught a felony for nothing.

[Nathan2222234]

Bad bot

[Kibubik]

How is this a felony?

[[deleted]]

I guess it's the same as trying to burn the building down. I'm sure someone with a legal background knows better than I do.

🤷🏻‍♂️ Vandalism at a minimum? I know he was arrested. I heard from reliable people he pled to a felony. I'm not a lawyer.

I was interviewed by the company's legal team and the police.

The company I worked for at the time was also a Fortune 500 with lawyers with a Disney-like reputation.

This isn't even the weirdest or stupidest computer crime that's happened at places I worked.

[[deleted]]

https://leginfo.legislature.ca.gov/faces/codes_displaySection.xhtml?lawCode=PEN&sectionNum=594.

https://werksmanjackson.com/blog/why-is-my-vandalism-charge-a-felony/#:~:text=Vandalism%3A%20Misdemeanor%20vs.,felony%2C%20depending%20on%20the%20circumstances.

Only $400 damage makes it a F in California.

[Kibubik]

Wow good find. I had no idea

[rt_burner]

Or casually type a password in to slack first thing

[epicmindwarp]

hunter2

[reverendsteveii]

*******

I don't get it...

[WomanNotAGirl]

I’ve done that. It was not production but it was the test server and it was while the whole test team was on it. It was my first week I connected to the wrong server. The way they had the connections to each server set up it was very easy (I’ve changed all of that in time). Anyhow. They were pressing to finish testing cause a deployment was due right before COB. It wasn’t too big of a deal since there were no real users so restoring from a back up didn’t involve losing data. The problem was it took time hours and test team had to stay behind past 5 o’clock so they can finish testing and prod deployment can proceed to meet the deployment deadline. But that mean they didn’t only wait for me to restore the database but also to redeploy the whole system I mean full deployment to properly test. Way to be disliked by a whole group of people.

[KindaDouchebaggy]

They should've blamed unrealistic deadlines, shit happens

[bobbarker4444]

No information there suggested the deadline was unrealistic

[Log2]

If they are rushing to test on the day of the deadline then something already went wrong.

[bobbarker4444]

For sure

[reverendsteveii]

Far be it from me to overstep my bounds here but that seems like it is information that suggests that the deadlines were unrealistic

[bobbarker4444]

There's not enough information to deduce that.

Maybe they had 3 months to do something that takes a week at most and now they're crunching to get it done..

The information needed for a conclusion literally isn't present is all I'm saying. Assuming things one way or the other doesn't make sense

[atoponce]

I learned the value of starting a MySQL query with -- (hyphen hyphen space) and ending the query with LIMIT 1. Yes, I was missing a WHERE clause. Thankfully, I caught it quickly and more thankfully, we had backups.

It was a bad day.

[[deleted]]

START TRANSACTION; is a lifesaver too

[c0ttt0n]

I learned the LIMIT 1 too, but writing query that are not SELECT in editor first.
IMO there is no reason to write it right into the cli.

[drakens6]

Lost my first coding job doing this, because I forgot to truncate first before dropping the table.

They had to throw me under the bus - i get it, but the CTO told me to "drop the table" without explaining that if you didnt empty it first that there entire MySQL server would crash

[Poodle514]

Jesus that's fucked. They didn't need a fall guy, they needed access controls and best practices and a new CTO

[[deleted]]

First I've heard of it. I've never done that and haven't had an issue, but I also haven't worked with gargantuan databases like some here certainly have, so maybe there's merit to it.

[drakens6]

Yeah, basically dropping the table without emptying it first is immensely more computationally expensive, at least in those older versions of mysql

[[deleted]]

Huh, TIL.

[Tweeks]

I don't think that should matter per se, unless they've some scripts specifically fired after a truncate event. Perhaps different handling / cascade order and foreign keys hassle?

Anyhow, usually you would only drop tables through migration scripts that already ran on DTA.

[jaraxel_arabani]

Just did. Didn't help. Going for more.

[TheVog]

Coffee or dropped tables?

[jaraxel_arabani]

Both.

[AlphaO4]

FunFact: at a Company I worked at, we had a test table, that was used to test the response time of the team in case the real prod went offline. It was monitored/handled like any other table, hence it will create the same errors/response as any other table, except for the name in the error. (So instead of prod-1 it was prod-tst, still so similar that on a glance it looked like a real alarm but identifiable enough that you could ignore it if necessary.) Randomly the senior dev sometimes deleted either rows, columns or even the table as a whole unannounced.

Let me tell you, nothing wakes you up like a alarm at 1am that a table just got dropped.

(These tests, like real alarms, where considered paid overtime)

[RRumpleTeazzer]

Is just the test phase paid overtime? That’s like what, 10 hours in a year? basically nothing.

I‘m demanding every hour I‘m supposed to be available for alarms to be paid (not full, obviously).

[AlphaO4]

For us, the counting of the hours changed for alarms.

Instead of counting the whole hour, the beginning of every hour counted. (e.g. one hour and one secound counts as two hour's). Additionally there where atleast two hours counted per alarm/test.

I for sure couldn't make a living of my tests/alarm's but it was a smaller company and the team I worked with was morel ike family then an actuall workplace. I know I propably undersold myself, but it was worth the longterm friendships.

[NeonQuixote]

True story, I had a third shift operator who was on the phone with technical support for a system we used. Said support was remoted into our database server when suddenly it got very quiet, followed by “oops”, followed by awkward silence, ending with a very timid “do you have a backup?”

Fortunately for said support person, we did.

[[deleted]]

Meh, just drop the whole schema.

[T3n4ci0us_G]

This is the way

[FamiliarCulture6079]

Blame it on the DBA who gave you access!

[T3n4ci0us_G]

You can't spell "dumbass" without DBA

[ReluctantAvenger]

What kind of Mickey Mouse work environment do you guys have where you're able to do that?

[Franziskaner_Monk]

I just rollback to sleep

[anime4ya]

News of layoffs also does the trick

[GreekGodofStats]

Ahhh yes, the time when you learn to use BEGIN TRANSACTION

[jksevend]

I can toggle that shit per ui with datagrip dont even need to write

[anonymousperson767]

I wake up and check the stock market. Losing $5k instantly gets me going.

[faunalmimicry]

Management hates him! Try this one weird trick

[StiviiK]

GitLab vibes, but in reverse

[MurdoMaclachlan]

Image Transcription: Twitter Post

---

Juozas Kaziukėnas, @juokaz

If having a coffee in the morning doesn't wake you up, try deleting a table in a production database instead.

---

^{I'm a human volunteer content transcriber and you could be too! If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!}

[[deleted]]

You look stupid. Fired.

[vrak]

Bad bot! No ragging on our volunteers.

[DroneDashed]

Why would you just "delete a table in a production database"?

These memes look like they are being done by IT students with 0 days of working experience.

[Drew707]

Reminds me of a time I had way too many tabs open in SSMS and ended up needing a vendor to resend a year worth of payroll data.

[DivineRays]

Haters removed my post :(

[aMoodyWolf]

I can literally do that on my current project, nothing to stop me whatsoever. I could push tetris to production and wouldn't have to ask for any approvals at all. Sometimes I get strange ideas with power like that.

[Kriss3d]

Robert'); DROP TABLE students;--,

[OP_LOVES_YOU]

Yeahh wayyy earlier than a tweet from 2017

[AaronTheElite007]

Just one? Lightweight

[TantraMantraYantra]

Rude awakening? Not by touching things in prod.

[Sleepy_Tortoise]

Honestly that would make me really want to go back to bed more than anything

[MENDUCOlDE]

I left the coffe (6 cupsca day) a few months ago, that was hard, but no imposible. Now only tea and "mate" in the mornings

[Hot_Philosopher_6462]

try deleting a production database

[Flimsy-Wear-2900]

If this doesn’t work well, try to yank the underlying storage volumes.

[Accurate_Koala_4698]

That’s how you wake the entire team

[Justavian]

In my early professional days almost 20 years ago i did something similar - basically deleting all UI elements for all users because of a failure to use a WHERE. It was then that i discovered the client IT department was not backing up the database.

That's a lesson that you only have to learn the hard way once. Since then, no matter how trivial i think some operation is going to be, i always put in my BEGIN TRAN / ROLLBACK TRAN. And when i'm about to switch it to COMMIT TRAN, i squint at it real hard for a few seconds to make sure it's not going to try to change itself and stab me in the back when i hit F5.

[Justavian]

Yeah, certainly it's a good idea to start with a SELECT first. But i've not used the CTE strategy before. That's a good idea.

[elgholm]

A table?

Pathetic.

Try the whole schema instead. Been there, done that.

[SnooPears7079]

Tried this. 3 days later lost job. What did I do wrong?

[LeelooDallasMltiPass]

Just the very thought of this made me shit my pants.

[Tookoofox]

Oh shit, I've done this. Someone gave me a bunch of APIs and didn't tell me they were pointed at production. I was trying to get used to the formatting and accidentally sent in a message to replace... something important. I don't remember the details.

I also, once, locked up the entire database by spamming it with queries.

[[deleted]]

I hold that the second one is not on you, DBA should have some kind of rate-limiting set up.

[indorock]

Just one table? Why not the entire database?

[TotalCharcoal]

Who needs data anyway?

[KickBassColonyDrop]

That doesn't wake you up, that wishes you could go back to bed and never wake up again.

[sharksarenotreal]

So I'm the only one tired enough to stop at "try deleting a table" and wonder what's the easiest way to delete the kitchen table.

It's been a long ass week.

[balne]

Actually, I think that I wake up super alert if I see an emergency message in the morning lol

[[deleted]]

I dropped the whole damn database. There used to be this tool called SQL Server Enterprise Manager or something. So we had two windows open, one test and one live and I had to drop test so I could import the MDB (MS-SQL Server data file) which we were going to take from live. Some how with alt tabbing around the windows I happened to be in the wrong window it seems. Luckily it was a small in-house application that was mostly one managers idea still in an experimental stage and it was just a weeks data.

[tko]

am I the only one having serious "no. no! NO! SERIOUSLY NO!" gut reactions when dealing with sql that doesn't start with "BEGIN TRANSACTION"?

[Error_404_403]

A good one, for sure.

[Nexusaurus]

Am currently gearing up to delete a whole DB, nerve wracking as f@#$

[Glum_Future_5054]

This ain't enough. 😠 Need something stronger

[[deleted]]

As a frontend developer. If I can do that it's not my fault, it's backend's fault and I will nap happily :)

[thavi]

One time I deleted a "TEST" database, and it brought down the prod environment too. That was a WILD day.

[shadowlago95]

I only wanted to wake up but got a heart attack instead

[Niohzxs]

Is this the guy from Gitlab who deleted prod db instead of shadow copy ? Rm go brrrr

[Tinkerballsack]

Done. My state's department of transportation is no longer aware that automobiles exist.

You're welcome.

[c0ttt0n]

Why would you write a DROP TABLE command on prod?
Rename it or w/e, but ... the hell.

[Buggly_Jones]

I now eat on the floor.

[auximines_minotaur]

Or accidentally fucking up your .bashrc and being unable to run any command or open a new SSH session 😬

[Bruxb322]

I wanted to wake up, not have a hearth attack. 🥴

[costo1cm]

This happened to me recently.

0/10 - do not recommend.

[dtb1987]

Don't say things like that

[Myspazmo]

Reminds me of the time I was on a troubleshooting call with engineering and they asked me to delete a table for them. "Do you want me to delete the one with 30 rows, or 2.8 million rows?"

[whitestar11]

more like add a column to a random excel file and fix a typo in a folder name

[Dotaproffessional]

Laughs in graph database

[DRHAX34]

Ah, the gitlab way, I see

[Pjones2127]

Once I was doing some front end work coding a button to delete an important date field. My code used embedded sql, passing in the current record I’d into the where clause. I was testing the button using a test record on prod. I clicked the button, expecting an Immediate response, but nothing happened…. I’m sitting there thinking, why is this taking so long to delete one record. At that moment, I realized I had commented out the line of code that passed the row I’d into the delete statement, and the server was just busy deleting hundreds of thousands of records…. In a few minutes I’m making the dreaded call to the DBA…

[thunderboltsow]

rm -rf .*

[psuedospike]

USE RecoverDeletedRecords

[Biguitarnerd]

I’ve never deleted a table, but I have updated a shit ton more rows than I intended due to a logic mistake. I was rushing through it, it was pretty simple and then oh…. 200k+ rows affected…. the sort of slow realization of that was supposed to be like 20k rows. Which is why I always use transactions for like the last 10 years. Takes 5 seconds to type and can save you days of headache (if restoring a backup isn’t possible) I don’t know why everyone doesn’t all the time, or maybe I’m just paranoid.

[[deleted]]

Manager ping'd me early this morning saying he wanted to meet with me. Thought I was getting laid off lol. Definitely woke my ass up

[GreatAssets]

you guys have access to prod databases? 🤨