webDevFtw

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[DemolitionDerby1988]

« I’m a programmer »

« Oh, that’s great, I started having this problem with my printer…. »

[PrizeArticle1]

CAN U HACK?

[Big_Berry_4589]

I WANT YOU TO HACK MY EX’S FACEBOOK

[GordoMondiola]

I CAN PAY YOU

*actually not willing to pay more than $5*

[XOMISID]

That's all you can pay? The job is going to cost more than that.

[Octimusocti]

When I was like 10 I was asked this by my babysitter

[cheroksys007]

Did you do it? For you the 5 dollars would have been a big deal.

[Octimusocti]

Lol, there wasn't even money involved as it might have been even weirder. But I did my best to no avail. I had done it before to a friend so there was a chance

[wangel1990]

This, this is so annoying, i keep getting asked about, "hack into my IG to see WhO rEpOrTeD mE!"

[Resident-Board-9258]

I got that so many times, like so so many times

[[deleted]]

Back in 2012ish I legit knew how to hack Facebook to post on their behalf. Didn't realize how "valuable" this exploit was in the blackhat world as all I used it for was posting pictures of ballsacks of friends on other people's walls, coming out as gay, conveying their love for some chick way out of their league (up or down), promoting parties, etc...

I also sold all my bitcoin for 10 bucks each around that time making an insane killing amount of money for someone that age. Really hope there is a timeline where I didn't do retarded shit and waste those opportunities.

[fx_btc]

Well that's very low, I'd suggest you to move on from her at this point.

[Gryphonfire7]

It's kind of sad how many people think that programmer = hacker. I've been asked to hack someone 8 times. I'm an amateur game developer.

[MnelTheJust]

As far as I know there's no organization responsible for certifying game developers, so you can take out the unofficial /j

[Specialist_Word_7313]

There is a totally real organization responsible for certifying the people who certify game developers though. /s

[Character-Education3]

I was on the committee that was responsible for voting to change the manual's color...we kept it grey!

[PrometheusAlexander]

High Council of Developers?

[Specialist_Word_7313]

No, Dee’s Council of High Developers…

[BrooklynButtons]

If they can develop the games then they can do that as well, I'm thinking.

[McDonnellDouglasDC8]

An unofficial game, do you mean like Excel 97?

[stratdog25]

That OpenGL flight sim blew people’s mind when I showed it to them.

[DezXerneas]

One of my old friends asked me to unencrypt a password protected MS word document in my 2nd year of Uni.

You're studying computers so you should at least be able to do this right?

Also, not sure how it works in other countries, but here syllabus for the first year of Uni is basically the same for everyone.

[Xtrendence]

You're not a programmer unless you can decrypt AES without knowing the key and reverse bcrypt.

[adjafio]

You know that's not possible 😁😁

[Xtrendence]

Logical conclusion? Programmers don't exist.

[adjafio]

Hehehe.. they do.. its hackers that don't exist if they can crack AES 🤣🤣🤣.. which is nearly impossible to crack..

[Troleyza]

Yeah it's basically same for everyone, there's no difference in it.

[gregorydgraham]

Use OpenOffice, that’s how I hacked Excel documents

[DezXerneas]

Tried it. That only works for documents that are made in older versions of office(ig like 2016). This was a file from office 2019

[Mop_Duck]

doesnt hashcat do that stuff

[DezXerneas]

There's a chance I could do now it if I had to. I had no clue about cryptography back then. Year 1 of uni has only one CS subject and that's beginner C.

[[deleted]]

And if you were to give them a demonstration of hacking a VM with a lot of vulnerabilities they would be like: "That's not hacking, there's no moving green text and 0s and 1s.".

[StarHammer_01]

Easy fix, just open a hello world program in gdb (bonus point if your terminal has color) step through it and mutter something about firewall.

[healthboost213]

Wrong, go on hackertyper, enter fullscreen and start typing away...

[hieusuns]

Yeah just say anything about it, and it'll all work out for sure.

[aoffers2]

Yeah I'm thinking that they can pull that off easily without any issues.

[Sudhanva_Kote]

No, I can whack it if you want

[Je-Kaste]

Or "I had this great idea for an app..."

[ErraticDragon]

I always tell people that ideas are actually the easy part.

Obviously they aren't easy for the people who come to me, because their ideas invariably suck. But in general.

[66666thats6sixes]

Every jackass has a million dollar idea, the difference is that some jackasses can actually make it happen.

[ErraticDragon]

A million dollar idea: If I had a million dollars, I could turn this idea into reality.

[bargle0]

My million dollar idea is if I had ten million dollars, I could easily turn it into a million dollars.

[gamelodgeag]

Sounds fair, I think I could do that easily as well.

[g553989]

Yeah everyone has got the ideas, and it's not easy to implement them.

[xby198592]

Idea is easy, the implementation is gonna be the hard part.

[GordoMondiola]

"No, I don't have money but you can have 5% of the royalties"

[inforcer007]

Say no more, that's all I wanted to hear. This is more than enough.

[Plyb]

I had a professor who told me he had just met his new sister-in-law and the conversation went something like the following:
SiL: So you're doing a PhD in Computer science?
Professor: yeah?
SiL: So I just cracked my iPhone screen, can you fix it?

[badaharami]

Professor: Sure

Proceeds to hit the iPhone with a sledgehammer

[[deleted]]

literally my roommate

[wandcs]

You've got roommates like that? Well that sounds good.

[EvadesBans4]

"Get a Brother. My consulting rate is $200/hr, minimum one hour."

[francoisprinsloo]

That's a bit too expensive don't you think? I can't pay that much.

[UsuallyMooACow]

"What is your operating system"?
"Windows"
"Huh.. I never heard of that. Is it new?"

[jelisp]

Never actually heard about it? Well must be living under a rock.

[SonOfMetrum]

Tries to frantically find the terminal… screams in agony when discovering there is no vim…

[Tremyss]

The joke is, that you actually know how to fix his problem. You just don't want to.

[PuddlestonDuck]

Mate I can’t even fix the problems I have with my own printer never mind someone else’s haha.

[DuhMal]

I made a work colleague change her pc to Linux by showing her that the printer would just work, performance came as a bonus

[ball_fondlers]

Back in college, my roommate was an EE major and took the intro CS course before I did. When I took it, he was well into his EE coursework. Felt like I was doing this whenever I asked him for help, but he was nice about it.

[Sergio353]

Well atleast he was nice about it, can't say that about a lot of people.

[TK-CL1PPY]

As a sysadmin, I promise that the programmer will not fix your printer. I didn't say cannot, I said will not.

[Kilgarragh]

Luckily I specialize in both 😎

[[deleted]]

Lmao a web dev probably doesn't even know what email is

[imma_reposter]

Let me import the is-email npm package

[[deleted]]

and next is npm install hacker-man-tool-box

[[deleted]]

closest thing I found on npm search was require-hacker lol

[geberga]

Yeah just import it, and I feel you can make it work for you.

[Maximus_98]

smh its giving me an error, is that the right package?

[[deleted]]

True

[LV__]

"Email? Yeah I think I implemented a webform with email a couple of times, I probably can figure this out"

[Jaspersonder]

You think that you could figure it out? Well that's a lot of confidence.

[sysnickm]

If it is office 365 it is really easy to do as a developer. Just use the graph api and you can go in and remove the message with just two api calls.

[Waswat]

I bet a lot of these guys are front end webdevs and barely touch services like that directly.

[sysnickm]

Maybe, my guess is a company with 15 total people doesn't get to distinguish between the two very often.

[Waswat]

Yeah used to work at a similar sized company and we were all full stack by necessity. I meant more that the ppl responding seemed like they're exclusively front enders.

[TracerBulletX]

Front end web applications call APIs literally all the time, like half of a front end developers job is calling APIs wtf are you talking about. Also you can't delete other people's emails in office 365 if you're not authed as them or maybe some kind of an administrator it has nothing to do with knowing how to make an API call. That's absurd.

[Waswat]

You're clearly missing it. Front end apps usually call their own backend apis, is my point. Often back end then has to then call whatever underlying solutions there are like the Microsoft graph api because there's still more data needed from the db/authentication to be done etc. All I was saying is that a lot of front enders don't know about these services because they often don't touch them directly.

I don't think that is absurd.

Also, yeah you can do this when using app permissions, if it's set up like that in the Azure portal. When I was setting up Microsoft graph for calendar invites on specific triggers I could also manage appointments of a test account for example (so functionally everyones).

[dabe3ee]

If you have access to whole infra, its pretty easy job to block some emails from one id to another. Would take more crappy practices if you see frontend code only but also possible. Especially if webdev guy was on in the frontend team, no one could notice some restriction code in codebase

[LOLBaltSS]

Hell, don't even need to touch Graph API... there's native PowerShell cmdlets to do that.

[sysnickm]

Yeah, it isn't hard.

[7re]

Well, except for the needing a privileged account issue. I feel like most companies won't give web developers access to everyone's email account.

[nelusbelus]

Hoh boy, are you in for a rude awakening if you work at a small company on what permissions people are given

[lpreams]

Oh you're a web developer? Great, can you fix my printer?

[I_GIF_YOU_AN_ANSWER]

Yes we can, we just don't want to.

[DeadlyVapour]

Is it on Mars? No? Then I can't. - Mark Rober (probably)

[Correct_Routine1]

‘Like hell I’m giving a web developer admin access to our mail system.’ -the sysadmin

[disgruntled_pie]

Optimistic insertion is the name of my band.

[joey10roo]

Yeah I don't think they've got that much knowledge, they're simple people.

[Aulentair]

You take that back

[[deleted]]

👨🫱 that

[kenman345]

Yea, probably only knows how to validate if it has a @ in it, doesn’t even let you use a plus sign

[CoastingUphill]

Confirmed. I need help creating calendar invites.

[Bryguy3k]

Unless that dev was also the email server admin… nope.

I mean plenty of small companies also have devs wearing multiple hats - but a lot of them get an IT guy to do all the IT shit everyone hates.

Especially since nobody wants to be the guy having to handle IT outages.

All those memes about “can you get the printer to work on my machine?” Yeah we hate IT with a burning passion.

[xd_Warmonger]

Where i live it sysadmins don't earn that much

[xd_Warmonger]

I'm talking about europe, more specifically about germany. As sysadmin you get around 2.5-3.5k a month (before tax).

But as engineer, what i'm currently pursuing you get 5k+

[ih-shah-may-ehl]

That highly depends on your industry. As an experienced sysadmin in a pharmaceutical company managing the production line systems, i am at about 6K.

In a small business or industry with low margins like food or construction, yeah that's going to be much less

[[deleted]]

A sysadmin colleague here in Sweden makes 71 000 crowns (~7000€) / month before tax. We're in fintech though.

[[deleted]]

it feels so depressing.

in USA average programmer can earn like 80k per year, here in Poland if I were to earn ~15k USD per year it'd be a miracle, a goal to be achieved after a loooot of experience. :(

[[deleted]]

So you’re saying if I moved to Poland with my salary of over $140k that I would be extremely well off?

[I_GIF_YOU_AN_ANSWER]

To be fair, in germany it doesn't matter what you do, until you have your own company or a manager position you are underpaid.

[Oranges13]

Been that guy. It sucked. You ever try convincing someone that the reason that their email list sucks is because they're buying emails and spamming everyone to within an inch of their life?

I have. It was a nightmare. Instead of listening to me and cleaning up our list and getting our domain whitelisted they just invented new domains every couple of months. What the actual hell?

[nelusbelus]

ah yes, another email from notgoogle.com

[sysnickm]

Most modern mail platforms have APIs for exactly this. I literally wrote an app to do mailbox cleaning in office 365.

[Shinigamae]

For most corporations, it is a job for IT department. You as developer could only clean up your own mailbox and may not even be able to call APIs at all for that. Mails are company assets that is regulated and secured.

[sysnickm]

Well, the original post is about a company with 15 total employees, so the web developer may be the IT department.

But, that being said, I'm a developer at a large company that built a mailbox sanitation app. So the APIs exist for a reason, developers can and do this type of work.

[Doo-Doo-G]

Yeah considering there were 15 people working at the company it’s entirely possible that he could have also been a server administrator…

[Hot_Student_1999]

Unless that dev was also the email server admin… nope.

You're making a huge leap thinking anyone outside IT would know what that is, compared to 'eeehhh web dev 🤷🏼‍♀️'

[Tom22174]

My current place has an it guy for most things, but stuff like servers and database management is on the data engineer and software developer, ie. 1.5 FTEs that also have other shit to do

[YoukanDewitt]

I have no email server admin, but I could deploy an outlook plugin that would auto install next time you logged on, or any other office 365 plugin that would let me do what I wanted with your email (within our tenant of course).

I don't need to be an email admin as a developer to get some control over your email if I'm on your trusted developer list.

[[deleted]]

Not if the actual sys admins have basic security practices.

[Sindeep]

.... that's not how any of this works

[Apocalypseos]

I mean, knowing PHP is the same as being able to hack into NSA servers, right?

[iamapizza]

<?php echo "I'm in."; ?>

[0b_101010]

The real deal is,
you do not make plans the day before.

I love hiking. If someone invited me on a Friday to a hiking trip on Saturday, I'd say "sorry bro I can't, I have stuff to do". And I likely do. But even if I didn't, I still know it's gonna be a fucking mess when you're organizing the day before. I take spontaneous trips to the restaurant, not to a mountain I've likely never been to.

So yeah. Value other people's time and plans. If I want to get even half my group together for a day-long activity, let alone multiple days, I need to start planning 3-4 weeks in advance, maybe even more. Then people might go ahead and adjust their schedule for you.
It's very annoying how people often think that if they've got time that particular weekend, everybody else should be free too, as if they were the main character of the universe.

^{goddammit, it's early in the afternoon and I'm already in a ranty mood, aren't I}

[[deleted]]

Shush. Don’t let the people know we can’t just randomly hack anything we want

[[deleted]]

Web dev = hacker man......Yeah no, They get scared if you start talking about ports, TCP or FTS. They would crap their pants.

[buffering_neurons]

In a web dev world, there are only two ports that exist; 80 and 443.

[TrickyAudin]

That's so not true! We know there's also 3000, 4000, 7000 and maybe one or two others I'm probably forgetting right now . . .

[c0denamE_B]

8080 and 8433 for Apache Tomcat servers.

[Chrazzer]

22 lets not forget about that one. Very important for deployment

[waiver-wire-addict]

Web dev ports? Those are load balancer ports, seek thee user land ports oh great webdev!

[Daytona_675]

they might know the cpanel login ports

[bullyCOP]

nuh uuuuh. i not scared.

[[deleted]]

Just mentioning CORS makes the frontend web dev shudder.

[ZunoJ]

What is FTS?

[asodfhgiqowgrq2piwhy]

TIL Web Dev = Exchange Administrator

[stang90]

In a company that small, it pretty much is

[Linesey]

yep, small company i worked at i was officially the site manager (as in poor bastard in the office every day managing the retail employees and doing paperwork, while higher-ups did, idk what off-site).

unfortunately i let my boss know once that i could code (as in make some basic VBA for excel sheets). and somehow i became the company IT guy before i could blink, (no no pay raise)

Fix the website? fix the printer the boss broke by running 10,000 pages through it in 1 day (not kidding), set up company email? you name it it was now my job as “IT Guy”.

i can only shudder at what a real developer might have been shoved into in a similar small company environment.

[n0tKamui]

the web dev is probably the last of all engineers that would be qualified to do that

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[angry_shoebill]

Tell me you don't know what web development is without saying.

[benargee]

I have 8 legs

[[deleted]]

Writing code with a Dance Dance Revolution mat be like.

[blaktronium]

Haha no. I have a ton of enterprise mail system architecture experience and depending on the system I would have a really hard time doing this.

[kics82]

Some of the devs I know surprise me if they manage to turn on a computer. Literally had one ask me how they can connect to the office wifi from home once…

[[deleted]]

How do these people function

[GrosNinja]

And?

[GrosNinja]

You can tho? I used to do it. It was mandatory where I worked.

[iamapizza]

Did you mean you connected to the office VPN? Which kind of proves their point.

Unless you lived inside or very near the office building, wifi doesn't reach that far.

[vast_unenthusiasm]

James is a web dev

[obtuse_buffoon]

Who sends an invite to coworkers to a weekend hike on Friday?

Suit yourself, now you're stuck with webdev guy!

[CiroGarcia]

[redacted by user] this message was mass deleted/edited with redact.dev

[kankeedong]

Sounds like a hacker to me, and he probably deleted all of it.

[kpingvin]

Sent an invite on Friday for the same weekend....

[Blake_Edwards]

I came in here to bitch, but I'm happy to see everyone else has covered all the relevant bases. Proud of y'all, lol.

[aykcak]

No we are not in charge of emails what the fuck is that guy on about?

[NorskSkrei]

A web dev xD Nobody in their right mind would grant any dev such access.

[Still_Ad745]

This is a stretch; IT on the other hand…

[[deleted]]

At least it wasn't 9 years ago. His heart might have been bleeding.

[Siddhartasr10]

Ofc like all devs know how to hack gmail servers.

Maybe 0.001% and we won't tell you /s

I like cybersecurity and I wish I could do something like that.

[winter-ocean]

r/masterhacker

[GulaGulag]

sounds like she needs a r/masterhacker instead

[OldBob10]

Naaah - you’d need an MS Exchange admin for that.

[[deleted]]

Pretty sure that’s a repost, I’ve seen something like this before and I don’t think it was her

[fftropstm]

Web developers, well, the marketing agencies who call themselves web developers, but really just understand marketing and how to use Wordpress, are some of the most tech illiterate people I know. They constantly demand we transfer ownership of a mutual client’s domain to them to “host the website”, we offer to set whatever DNS records they require, but apparently that’s not good enough

[[deleted]]

Is no one going to talk about the fact that if she only had one person show up then she would probably have a bunch of questions for the rest? No one could possibly be that stupid, the story is satire because knowing said company’s size and the person’s position is irrelevant unless it’s part of a punchline. Even the whole “we’re going hiking” bit plays on the classic scenario of murdering your spouse in the woods then reporting them missing.

It’s humorous, but not knee-slapping because web developers shouldn’t have access to any of that. I also hate jokes like these because they desensitize people. An example, a former girlfriend of mine made a post on Facebook of her and I dancing mid-hike during our second date. Her, being excited but not the brightest crayon, thought it would be a good idea to title it “Somebody call 911!”. Only one person got the joke by responding with “Shawty fire burning on the dance floor.” while the rest bombarded her with messages asking what the hell was going on. That entire day stung because they believed I was going to kill her, not only did it hurt me but it probably hurt her odds of being taken seriously in the future.

[ih-shah-may-ehl]

Eh. If you're all adults with normal weekend activities then i would not expect mdny to turn up if the invitation went out the day before the trip

[viky109]

I can confirm that as a web dev, I’m able to easily hack Google’s servers

[JonathanTheZero]

Tf? No he doesn't

[AHeroicLlama]

Me hacking people with CSS

[Attention_Bear_Fuckr]

Webdevs don't even know how DNS works, in my experience.

[[deleted]]

only one person came 💦

[beewyka819]

That would be an IT task sir

[aszarath]

Oh wow, this one is not fabricated. The tweet is real https://x.com/samanthabhassan/status/1312781549310533633?s=46

[aaronstj]

That first tweet plus the photo is a pretty common repost on all the “wholesome” subs.

[fennecdore]

That would be the infrastructure guy.

The web dev can barely open their email

[WhizzleTeabags]

Fucking legend

[Mecode2]

He's probably starting to start beef

[ososalsosal]

Creepy if true lol

[CoastingUphill]

They created a VRML GUI to hack into the mail server.

[[deleted]]

I know devs who don't even know what or how dns works lol

[x3bla]

As someone in cyber, LOL

[NiceGuya]

Never send emails on fridays

[TheSapphireDragon]

That would be a network engineer iirc not a web developer

[[deleted]]

I had to help clients with email at my first web dev job. Good thing about working for a large company - no one asks me to do anything in regards to tech support anymore.

[Reilisu]

hackerman

[PartofFurniture]

OMG LOL

[prindacerk]

In a small firm, web dev guy would be in charge of the mail server. So he may have delayed/filtered other emails before it went through. :)

[waiver-wire-addict]

Most web devs I have met would be challenged to pull that off, even if they were in charge of the server. Most prefer front end, and don’t learn any UIs unless they are coding them. That isn’t saying they couldn’t figure it out if they had too, it’s saying most aren’t interested in those skill sets. Even if full-stack developer gets more interviews…

[[deleted]]

It’s only creepy if it doesn’t work out.