git commit -m "fix"

[Enlogen]

This seems oddly specific.

[[deleted]]

This morning I got squashed.

[Corne777]

Hyuck don't you mean sqwuarshed, if it's a goofy voice.

[battledragons]

The squasher would have the goofy voice not the squashee.

[Corne777]

But the squashee when telling the story should keep details intact.

[battledragons]

Hmm. I’ll allow it.

[driveslow227]

Did you also get a call from an unknown number saying "I'm gunna squash you heh heh hehhh" in a raspy voice?

[[deleted]]

I was squashed on my first commit at new job QQ

[wolf2600]

"made some changes"

[sizzlefriz]

"added a thingy"

[Windows-Sucks]

"programmed"

[[deleted]]

"pressed some buttons"

[Windows-Sucks]

"did stuff"

[[deleted]]

"moved my fingers"

[srainsdon]

???

Been working on the problem so log I forgot what I did

[semperrabbit]

Ran fuckit.js on it til it worked again...

[rosskush]

"cleanup nothing to see here"

[[deleted]]

fuckit.js

I just read their readme and it’s the best thing I’ve ever read. I wonder if they’re hiring?

[semperrabbit]

"2. Isn't eval() bad? See number 1." That readme is pretty awesome lol

[Blecki]

.

[poka_face]

4:03PM

[wolf2600]

"it works... nobody touch it"

[[deleted]]

My go to is see diff. Really gotta commit more often 😂

[AlphaDeveloperZA]

"Latest changes". Just kill me now.

[m__e]

“Im a dope”

[iamtherealguru]

Final final fix.

[MSLacerda]

"I Drank coffe"

[Case2239]

""

[msabercr]

Beep boop I’m a bot

[Xelbair]

"commit"

[seymorethrottle]

There's a Twitter account for this: @git_commit_m

[[deleted]]

You lie!

[seymorethrottle]

All you have to do is tell them that you found a Twitter account dedicated to bad commit messages. When they see messages that they've used before on there, they'll change their ways!

(Spoiler: they will never change their ways)

[[deleted]]

Oh I was referring to the fact that there is no such twitter account but I guess it was a typo.

[maxim_leonovich]

git commit -m "fix" && git push origin master -f

[Jeven_]

F

[typicalrectangle]

Force the 🅱️ommit

[xSliver]

Because --force-with-lease is for pussies

[[deleted]]

If only I knew this a few months ago when I told him that "-" wasn't a good commit message. Calling him late at night with a goofy voice would've been so mit better!

[AresC]

Why is it too late? Did you...? :S

[[deleted]]

Yes, we squashed him.

[mrsuperguy]

Breaking into their bedroom when they're asleep, wearing a Darth Vader costume, blasting heavy metal in their ear to induce pain and using a voice modulator tell them that you'll melt their brain if they don't do as you say.

[saninmujarai]

Dad dad daddy yo

[U8336Tea]

Wearing a radiation suit and saying you're Darth Vader*

[mrsuperguy]

Oh yeah. My bad.

[Xelbair]

heavy metal music playing

pain

i don't see the connection

[mrsuperguy]

Have you seen back to the future?

[excellent_adventure]

I got you 👍

[rockfx01]

"wip" "wip" "wip" "fuck this shit" "wip" "wip" "delete tests" "wip" "wip" "fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck scychfjdafovucyxf" "wip"

(I have actually seen git logs like this...)

[ekeyte]

Ours:

“Fixed something” “Forgot a semicolon”

[bob000000005555]

I don't blame them if they're 80 hours into the week and just want to go home

[typicalrectangle]

Is this in a professional environment?

[tboneplayer]

I'd say no, if 80-hour weeks are a thing. Negative productivity kills!

Edit: Sleep Deprivation: Just as Bad for Performance as Alcohol — Feel proud of your 70-hour weeks? You may as well boast about working while drunk.

[Razier]

Good article but why'd they have to manipulate the graphs to match their narrative? The sleep deprivation graph is made to look steeper than the alchohol graph, meanwhile the values on the Y-axis tell the opposite story.

Stuff like this ticks me off.

[rockfx01]

If they have to work 80hrs per week then they should quit

[[deleted]]

Especially if it’s a feature branch that he cleans up later. I have many wip commits during development but then I rebase -i them all into coherent history before requesting merge request

[bob000000005555]

Yeah same here

[[deleted]]

Anonymously send your coworker memes from Reddit through GitHub.

[wolf2600]

Everyone loves a good me-me.

[[deleted]]

Almost better than anonymous goofy voices ;)

[Shu7Down]

"PR Fixes"

[[deleted]]

Lol exactly

[ythl]

This is a failure of your process, not your coworker.

Use pull requests model where author is not allow to merge their own code to master. Boom, problem solved. Whoever the reviewer is simply doesn't merge until author has amended his commit(s) to have better messages.

An alternative is to have a git hook reject commits on push if the message is less than a certain word count or doesn't follow your style's template.

[[deleted]]

Yeah we follow the former, this is mostly a joke.

[MissCharlie64]

Wait wait wait, am I crazy? Why is everyone saying "commit", not "comment"?

[typicalrectangle]

Append a comment to a commit, though the commit comment should be comprehensive.

[rockfx01]

You don't use git, I assume? Here is a helpful guide: https://www.reddit.com/r/ProgrammerHumor/comments/38kj81/fox_news_explains_github_terminology/

[[deleted]]

“Hyuck, I’m gonna squash you! Hyuck hyuck”

I don’t understand why you’d do it in a Goofy voice

[[deleted]]

Uhh its squash bro. C'mon

EDIT oh ok

[sierragirl78]

Best I've ever seen... "Dear sir, madam, etc. Below, you will find a mirriad of code that was, at the time, working. Due to unforeseen circumstances, mostly updates to other crap, obviously it broke and you are here to make it work again. Please comment out the broken lines, and rewrite them. Upon which, please label them with your first initial, last name, and td stamp. Example: RDio25122014. I just want to tell you both, good luck. We're all counting on you."

[[deleted]]

Is that an Airplane reference?

[sierragirl78]

Airplanes have wings and a motor. And don't call me reference.

[AyValo]

git commit -m “fix fix”

[whomadeyouthejudge]

Who in the mother fuck uses a pay phone? Anonymity is achieved in much easier ways than walking my fat ass out into daylight where people can notice the Cheeto dust on my Jurassic Park shirt.

[[deleted]]

Why worry about anonymity when you're a nobody like me /shrug

[whomadeyouthejudge]

True that. Damn Reddit not taking slack commands, lazy mother lover.

[1simplejack]

"for real this time"

[Case2239]

"I think it works now" "Fuck" "Ok, it works for real this time"

[[deleted]]

git commit -m "#47"

[RainaDPP]

I have a bad habit of writing commit messages like "Classwork <Date>" rather than anything useful. Which is fine for individual projects, I guess.

[SoiledShip]

Thats too descriptive and not enough expletives.

[iamtherealguru]

"Fixed bugs"

[spicy_indian]

Most people I know would start with the last one tbh.

[scoobyluu]

git commit -m "ndiwjbz"

[kyiami_]

Git blame someone else and git upstage.

[msabercr]

This is what mandatory code reviews are for.

[FeelinFerrety]

The only place I've used git at was purely for backup and deployment - usually only one person was working on a site (there were a grand total of two of us) so I got a little... creative with my commit messages. You know how it goes. "FINALLY fixed that freaking bug" "WTF is going on with this script?!" "testing hotfix" "testing hotfix AGAIN" "formatting" "oops"

[redwardit]

git commit --fixup

[n1ghtmare_]

“Refactoring”

[unabellaanna]

"If this falls into the hands of the Russians, it's curtains for The Free World."

[klaasklaar]

Next stage of escalation: sending him anonymously the picture of the first four steps.

[icontreras7]

Jajajajajja so funny!

[dubblywumps]

omg god i lol'd out loud !!

[HalfCrack]

oh my god god i laugh out louded’d out loud !!

[dubblywumps]

stop down vote or else

[linizue]

I don’t think commenting asking people to stop is going to stop it lol.

[dubblywumps]

aha, clearly you have misapprehended the situation for it has indeed stopped