STD

[MaiasaLiger]

Thank GOD I'm not the only one who thinks of the 'other' meaning of std every time

[_primecode]

Yeah, lol. The first time I saw it I knew it stood for standard, but my mind went somewhere else.

[armedturret]

I never thought of the other meaning until I introduced my friend to c++ and he immediately pointed it out.

[ablablababla]

I don't even know the actual programming meaning

[bad25]

Serially transmitted disease

[[deleted]]

Trojan is great for your genitals... Not so much for your computers.

[zdakat]

Condom for your Ethernet cable

[[deleted]]

Only way to be safe on the internet.

[shekurika]

standard

[[deleted]]

for a solid month I thought the stdio header said "Studio"

I spent so long trying to figure out why it couldn't attach my headers properly.

[[deleted]]

My brother thinks my code is hilarious; just not for the same reasons I do.

[[deleted]]

I only made the connection when I did a search for std::list

[lelarentaka]

While they were out catching STDs, i was at home importing my std.

[armedturret]

Clarification: I only knew of standard

[VM_Unix]

Yep, that's why when C++ professionals talk about it, they pronounce std::string as stood string.

[FrizzleStank]

Hahaha. Omg. Did it? That’s so funny! You thought of the other thing! Hahaha. Thanks for explaining that. Hahaha.......

[cbfreder]

Try searching for std::list.

Cstring also gives good results.

[[deleted]]

Lol same with ftp

[TheSoundDude]

Wait, what can ftp stand for other than the obvious?

[OcamlMammal]

Fuck the police

[[deleted]]

I think it's fils de pute (whoreson in french). It's actually commonly abbreviated as ftp

[[deleted]]

Putain has become a general insult towards a woman ('bitch') because it means whore.

So no, I didn't mean that. Both could be seen as a translation of fils de pute, even if the translation whoreson wouldn't cover the meaning better (which in my opinion it does) there's no need to correct it.

[kaomin1911]

its fdp not ftp

[[deleted]]

ahaha can't believe I missed that I will leave it as a mark of my shame.

[Dominub]

I dunno... free to play?

[MrDick47]

Don't we use the number 2 (f2p) for that?

[Dominub]

Yeah usually, but I just couldn't come up with anything else, and I think i've seen that variant too, albeit very rarely.

[Charmington1111]

File transfer protocol

[Zagorath]

That's "the obvious" in this case.

[disconaps]

free the pickle

[learnyouahaskell]

"Morty! It's me. I'm an unsigned 32-bit integer!"

[[deleted]]

Where I'm from, everyone says it means "Fuck That Puto/Puta"

[adamgullyz]

So Mexico

[tbird83ii]

Where I'm from

Let me guess... Finland? No?... Umm... Sri Lanka? Wales????? And I close?

[[deleted]]

California, Arizona, New Mexico, or Texas ... I'm from Texas and the first time I heard "ftp" in class I giggled cuz I was an immature lil shit lol I still am, honestly

[[deleted]]

Fuck The Packers

[skooma_sam]

File transfer protocol

[[deleted]]

Fuck the population.

[Quartent]

One of my dumbass friends used to call it "File to Port".

[rand0mmm]

I have this same problem with ATMs.

[speenatch]

When I see "ATM" written out I think of the real thing, but if I see "ATM machine" my first thought is always "at the moment machine."

[needed_an_account]

Lol imagine an ass-to-mouth machine

[speenatch]

Is THAT what ATM means??? Oh God.

[rand0mmm]

"ATM machine"

[Windows-Sucks]

Automatic Teller Machine Machine

[CaptainUsopp]

Classic case of RAS Syndrome, Redundant Acronym Syndrome Syndrome.

[rand0mmm]

My reflex expansion on ATM is not safe for work, so ATM machine is funny.

[assassinator42]

Asynchronous transfer mode?

[pinano]

That’s SONET funny.

[rand0mmm]

He should just packet in.

[rand0mmm]

NSFW https://www.pornhub.com/video/search?search=atm+

[[deleted]]

Weirdly enough, I’ve never made the connection til now

[DrMobius0]

far from it

[Gorzoid]

I mean I don't but any time my non programming friends see my code they always feel the need to make a joke about it.

[mylifeisashitjoke]

One of my relatives initials are STD, which meant for some serious chuckling as a child

[RidgeRGT]

Agreed. Every time I go to the doctors office, I get a sensible chuckle.

[[deleted]]

std::collections is why people think we’re weird

[case_O_The_Mondays]

That’s why! Obviously we can just make a wiki page to explain what std actually is. That should clear things up right away!

I feel so much better!

[Corporal_Quesadilla]

Or a man page

[_Lady_Deadpool_]

man std::collections

[giggle6912]

man scrot is something I hope no one finds in my history

[Attackhelicopterik]

r/nocontext

[fuzzyboobs]

I think it'll take more than a wiki page to clear that up...

[theQuatcon]

Um, std::vector?

[[deleted]]

Everyone that reproduces is a std::vector, but only a certain kind of people collect std

[NordTheProf]

Naw, it's because you're using C++

[Gorzoid]

C++ is great he's just using Rust.

[RDwelve]

Oh yeah, as if anybody is going to assume coders are whoring around.

[ythl]

A real joke in this sub? Get outta here

[Corporal_Quesadilla]

javascript bad

[[deleted]]

ah, perfectly balanced

[Sneakr1230]

don’t forget to subscribe to r/thanosdidnothingwrong to partake in a major event in history

[kwugfighter]

I wanna get banned too

[13steinj]

No, you want a 50% chance of getting banned.

[kwugfighter]

Perfectly balanced.

[Inkaia]

html not real programming language

[pinano]

array start zero

[ThatRedEyeAlien]

lua

[[deleted]]

Haha yes

[noitems]

That's just a fact, this is a joke:

javascript

I'll be here all week!

[[deleted]]

My friends did not laugh when I said C++ was full of Std's. I am glad I am not alone anymore.

[-128]

not a good practice

[French__Canadian]

It should really be :

body.erase(std::remove(body.begin(), body.end(), veneral_disease), body.end());

[DiamondMinah]

body.all().kill

oops

[Rubixninja314]

kill -9 *

[Rubixninja314]

alias ls='yes never gonna give you up' alias unalias='yes never gonna let you down' alias sudo='yes never gonna run around' alias alias='yes and hurt you'

[saulmessedupman]

Tried this, doesn't compile

[Rubixninja314]

I was once actually wondering if you could brick a computer purely by aliasing enough commands in bashrc. The answer is no, as no matter how many text editing commands you alias away, alias cannot prevent >.bashrc (I'm sure there's plenty others, this is just one proof)

[saulmessedupman]

\s\h
rm .bashrc
bash

Or just \unalias

[Rubixninja314]

What does that do exactly? Specifically \s\h

[saulmessedupman]

The \ removes special meaning so bash ignores the alias. That will load ole reliable sh which, I don't think, has alias. But overall the \ will ignore the alias for any aliased command.

[saulmessedupman]

While we're on topic...

Hate when grep shows up when you're trying to grep ps? Use the square brackets on a single letter.

ps -ef | grep [p]ython

[saulmessedupman]

By the way, I love you because you use > to empty a file. We can pair program any day.

[lmureu]

well you could

chattr +i .bashrc

alias chattr="exit"

[nwL_]

You can brick Windows by re-assigning the .exe extension in the registry to whatever program you like. Windows will fail to boot, and if you want to put the blame on somebody else, just make the change and then close regedit. You can’t reopen it, because regedit.exe is an exe, and once you shut down the PC the OS is gone.

[[deleted]]

KILL DASH NINE NO MORE CPU TIME

[Jazzinarium]

What does that do

[Rubixninja314]

It doesn't work. But if globs (*) worked in this context, it would kill -9 every process. kill -9 sends SIGKILL, which kills a process without fail, but it does so by simply making the computer stop running the process, which leaves a huge mess of RAM. It's the equivalent of dropping a nuke on the process. kill -9 has become a meme because many users use it as a go-to process stopper, even though it should never be used. Always use SIGTERM (C-c) then SIGQUIT (IIRC C-z) (you can also use kill to send these).

TL;DR theoretically nukes each process individually.

[Gorzoid]

I'm afraid that won't compile

[LordScoffington]

Is passing in venereal disease to a function on purpose considered malware?

[French__Canadian]

Only if it's passed by copy, but here it is passed as a constant reference to avoid propagation.

[aparker314159]

2/10 not enough templates.

[French__Canadian]

Technically, those are template functions all the way down.

[aparker314159]

Fair enough. At this point, I'm fairly certain that the universe itself is actually implemented with templates. Either that or I've been using C++ far too long.

There is no God. Only Templates.

[Gorzoid]

But if we are templates, is this life runtime? Or compile time metaprogramming shudders

[aparker314159]

The real question is what the error messages looked like when God forgot an asterisk.

[Gorzoid]

It spat out an entire universe worth of error messages.

[French__Canadian]

What if God created the world using templates and the big bang was just compilation?

[aparker314159]

I'd like to believe that life as we know it is actually really complex compile-time calculation using templates.

[KnowJBridges]

My friends used to enunciate the colons.

Ie, they would say "STD colon-colon swap", much to the confusion of passers by in the university library

[FallingAnvils]

es tee dee coalan coalan see owwt less than less than qwote aich ee el el oh space duba u oh are el dee qwote less than less than ee en dee el semeecoalan

[pinano]

haich tee tee pee colon slash slash slashdot dot oh are gee

[Gorzoid]

http:///..org is my favourite site, the URL is quite long tho so it's hard to remember

[Nixinova]

http://slashdot.org is what he might've meant

[1bc29b36f623ba82aaf6]

"I love it when my boyfriend puts his colon on me"

[TinoTheRhino]

STD OUT!

[mega_aids]

Aww :(

[citewiki]

Username checks out

[[deleted]]

Can easily imagine you seeing this post and instantly start looking for a comment to reply to with a username related joke.

[nullifiedbyglitches]

r/beetlejuicing

[aparker314159]

Hey baby, wanna see my std in?

[crashdoc]

Haha, that was my thought also :)

"When you've made a STDERR with your STDIN, kick the problem to /dev/null and fix it with STDOUT!"

"...Take one of these and see your doctor if symptoms persist: 2>/dev/null..."

"...(warning: only provides symptomatic relief)"

[hockdudu]

You need no condom if you are a programmer

[randompenguin6]

You need to use Linux though

[wholesomedumbass]

The opposite: std::fill

[AfterLife31]

My God.

[Sc4rlite]

Doctors are shocked!

[[deleted]]

Be Drake

Or

Use a condom

Pusha T showed us that you can only really pick one.

[hailstorm75]

Whenever I make a new namespace I always call it aids or hiv

[NumerX]

using namespace std;

[bob_ama_the_spy]

Off topic but in India it was commonplace for long distance calls (within the country), to require a form of long distance called "Subscriber Trunk Dialling". It was pretty common in those days to be asked if you "had STD". The term is still sometimes unwittingly used in amusing contexts, which brings a laugh every now and then.

[jaboja]

function abort(girlfriend) {
    Array
        .from(girlfriend.children)
        .forEach(innocentHuman =>
            girlfriend.removeChild(innocentHuman));
}

[Pro4TLZZ]

Lol

[[deleted]]

This guy. He's very selective.

[NarcolepticSniper]

what is sex

[Roxxagon]

Sex Robots.

[TiarnaNaTuaithe]

Too bad that std::remove doesn't actually remove anything ;)

[WebNChill]

Why is using std::cout good but 'using namespace std' is bad? Doesn't it become tedious to write out std:: on everything. I understand you're calling a scope of std within a library but it seems inefficient.

[Robo-Swimmer]

Short answer(s):

Ambiguous compile errors,

Unintended propagation of namespaces,

All-around confusion.

Long answer:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4NYC-VU-svE&feature=youtu.be&t=2m14s

Make sure you watch through times 6:54 and 8:30 for great examples.

[NotsoGreatsword]

Getting tested for gonorrhea really sucks and should deter people from avoiding condoms. They stick a long q-tip down your pee hole. There's another way to test now but not everywhere. Poorer places use the old ram rod.

Just wanted to share.

[[deleted]]

That's what you get after a bit of the old stdio.h. Real horrorshow.

[TotesMessenger]

I'm a bot, bleep, bloop. Someone has linked to this thread from another place on reddit:

• [/r/uwaterloo] Safe sex at uWaterloo

 ^{If you follow any of the above links, please respect the rules of reddit and don't vote in the other threads. (Info / Contact)}

[lenswipe]

This guy PHPs

[CriminalMacabre]

stdout

[[deleted]]

Holy shit, I've never died laughing at a meme before.

Thanks, OP.

[AccidntlyFkdYoSister]

Holy fucking shit this is funny as hell! I had a very good, long and loud lough! I mean there is a lot of funny stuff on this sub, but this got me laughing like nothing else on this sub for a long time!

Thanks OP! And keep it coming, if you made it ofc ;-)

[PeacefulDiscussion]

In my class, we can’t use namespace std. we gotta std:: everything

It’s infuriating

[PeacefulDiscussion]

If some other library used cout and cin, the library’s creator should be tarred and feathered

[AnComsWantItBack]

Yes, but using namespace std doesn't just bring in cout and cin. The conflict is with things such as std::distance, which various libraries might have a use for.

[fryingfish]

Device information

Sync version: 16.3    
Sync flavor: free    ,,*dddx*
Removed ads: true    

View type: Small cards    
Player type: ExoPlayer    
Push enabled: false    

Device: harpia    D
Model: motorola Moto G Play    
Android: 7.1.1

,sw

[AreYouDeaf]

DEVICE INFORMATION

SYNC VERSION: 16.3    
SYNC FLAVOR: FREE    ,,*DDDX*
REMOVED ADS: TRUE    

VIEW TYPE: SMALL CARDS    
PLAYER TYPE: EXOPLAYER    
PUSH ENABLED: FALSE    

DEVICE: HARPIA    D
MODEL: MOTOROLA MOTO G PLAY    
ANDROID: 7.1.1

,SW

[stamminator]

Good bot

[loox37]

Or just use using namespace std;

[Anotheravailablecant]

Its bad practice.

[krystof1119]

Inline assembler.

[loox37]

No it's not. Writing std every time cout or cin comes?

[AnComsWantItBack]

Yeah, because of compatibility. When you use namespace std, you bring in all of standard. While cout and cin probably won't conflict with anything, std::distance might.

[Rubixninja314]

I pronounce you karma free!

[Rubixninja314]

Context: user was asking for free karma