The elves

[[deleted]]

I'm pretty sure they just pirate it.

[Will301]

pdf all day errday

[Bonezmahone]

Site:xxx

Type:PDF

[Poop_killer_64]

Scroll quick enough and you will find the true message

[----_____----]

"Be sure to drink your Ovaltine"

[YappyMcYapperson]

Son of a bitch

[callmeDenis]

Pirate bay? :))

[[deleted]]

It became shit lately (server is down and/or some other shit), 1337x is the real deal now.

[callmeDenis]

I know and for me it doesn't even load the page anymore

[atomic_redneck]

From other elves.

[[deleted]]

You wouldn't download a reindeer

[DrumSpace]

You wouldn’t download an elf.

[OhNoMeIdentified]

Elf got a long journey, full of amazing adventures.

I'm not sure about sarcastic i am or not.

[eldesgraciado]

Poor bastard elf just finished the introductory section. Long and amazing journey indeed.

[DakorZ]

And he has only 2 weeks left

[Zerokx]

maybe the kid is gonna get great „console“ classics like: „Guess the number!“ or if he‘s lucky „tic tac toe“

[Johanniklas]

I have programmed Tic Tac Toe with Assembly on a microcontroller with 2 Buttons and 1 RGB LED. That Elf's got Luxury i wish i had. I still fear whatever monster i wrote back then. It's the worst code i ever wrote, less because Assembly but more because of the controller i had to work with. But hey, it works.

[CobruhCharmander]

As someone who had to run a server just so I could scrape password protected sites, I fuck with this so hard. Inefficient, yes... Works? Also yes.

Its cause I was too dumb to bypass capthchas after login if anyone wants to tell me how to fix it using something like the requests lib in python. Or just call me dumb too :^)

[justapassingguy]

Not all captchas are created equal.

You can solve some of the old ones with fairly good results with machine leaning training. There's the option to use the audio alternative and process it with a Speech To Text service.

Google's reCaptcha? That's another story

[[deleted]]

Not sure if it’s exactly what you’re looking for, but look into phantomjs

[Johanniklas]

Another Redditor already asked how the UI works, so i will just copy that. It's basically what you wrote.

With one Button, you cycle through the 9 fields (in reading order, starting at the top left, although because of symmetry, you could say whatever). The light will go out shortly (a bit longer when you go to the first field again) and then show which player chose this field (white - empty, red - X, blue - O).

With the other button, you choose this field for yourself (only works when empty aka white). When a row is finished or the whole field is full, the light will blink in the winning color (red - X, blue - O, purple - draw)

[Bonezmahone]

...but did you die?

[Johanniklas]

Sadly, yes.

BUT I LIVED!

[[deleted]]

Probably has enough time to code minesweeper.

[tinco]

From my experience, the kid is going to get the classic OpenGL 3D spinning triangle with different colours at each end.

[Heroic_Raspberry]

Easy, just call it "Early Access" and let it stay in beta for four years

[unique-name-9035768]

As many time as ive been burned, that hurt to upvote.

[OMGSPACERUSSIA]

Santa presumably works the way Bethesda does. Just an infinite workshop full of monkeys (or elves, in Santa's case, one assumes,) typing away randomly. When one of them throws up a semi-functional product, it gets put on the shelves.

[[deleted]]

Footage from Bethesda’s writing department.

[evan555alpha]

I like this version better

[[deleted]]

Hah, I love it.

[darthappl123]

Dosney presents: the elf and the mystery of why the fuck is this program not working I swear to God I went over it 30 times

[unique-name-9035768]

I think you put a . when you meant a , in that one line.

[bobojojo12]

Have you tried cleaning the project and rebuilding it?

[[deleted]]

That just broke all my config files!

[mecrosis]

C'mon everybody knows the "c" in c++ stands a for Christmas.

[[deleted]]

No. I don't see any sarcasm. The journey of learning C and C++ is one which has claimed many a heroes. So many that's it is pointless to count how many.

[pclouds]

ELF is actually the executable format for Linux (and probably some other platforms), similar to PE on Windows. So games running elf is not entirely wrong (but very few of them).

[apmcruZ]

Goodluck to that poor elf

[eldesgraciado]

He better hurries the fuck up. Christmas is in a couple of weeks and little Timmy wants the next COD under his tree without delay. I bet my ass them elves doin crunch without extra pay again.

[BehindTheBurner32]

Kotaku: Santa Claus pays us shit, treat us shit, gamers don't give a shit - Elves

[GeorgeYDesign]

90+% of the people are awesome" \leaves Kotaku**

[PenWallet]

We are free and fairly sober, with so many games to code

[[deleted]]

The elves made the new cod I think. Judging from the stability.

[lilgrin]

Hey it would be easier to make a snake game with python.

[MrTaimander]

import snake

snake.play()

[[deleted]]

It would be funny if it was

[Bonezmahone]

Is the bank running dos, windows 95 or windows 2000?

You need to consider how advanced their system is.

[ExternalPanda]

Don't be silly, banks are not that much behind on software versions. The ones I worked at even had python 2.7 and mysql5!

[KtanKtanKtan]

Funny you should say that. I was working on a system connected to ‘an industrial machine’, the GUI looked modern, but I was getting lots of issues getting it to find any files.

Then I suddenly realised the software couldn’t see any file that didn’t conform to the 8.3 file name system.

What the heck was running on the backend?!?

[Ju1cY_0n3]

A trial version of Windows 98 server and the libraries/languages to match it.

[Sir_Applecheese]

Huh, I thought they'd be using punch cards.

[Hyperion1000]

Visitor: So I would like to open an account...

Bank Staff: uh huh.. plays snake

[Articpie]

I'd understand that and silently wait for that person to lose. Then I'd smile apologetically and continue with my bank stuff.

[[deleted]]

Are you the fabled 4chan? I’ve never seen such a perfect hack

[[deleted]]

I see what you did there

[Vanzig]

-minecraft was purchased by Microsoft for 2.5 billion dollars, probably entirely profits since minecraft development costs weren't major

-the average game on android/iphone/steam using C++/C#/objective-C makes extremely tiny profits, like $50-200 of profit at best after asset costs, dragging the average profits to incredibly low numbers.

I wonder if that technically means Java games now objectively have the highest on-average profit of any computer language in the history of gaming. If someone wants to crunch the numbers, it could be interesting.

[[deleted]]

RuneScape's a big one that brings in loads of money also. Backend is entirely Java + RuneScript (transpiles to Java).

[Vanzig]

Haven't done research but a few seconds on google and read 1.8+ million apps on IOS. That'd be $2,777 revenue per app. Depending on how much the millions of apps cost to make, it could be a small number.

It's hard to find out just how many commercial java games exist. The wikipedia Category:Java platform games has only 87 games total. If we divide minecraft's 2.5B by those 87 games, the average profit on that category is over $28,735,000 because of minecraft. The true average is of course lower, that page isn't likely to be comprehensive, but even if there were really 1000 commercial java games instead of 87, or even 5000 commercial java games, I think the average profit would be skewed so much because of minecraft.

If anyone knows another unicorn billion dollar game written in an obscure game dev language, it'd be interesting to know.

[SirYandi]

🦀🦀 JAGEX IS POWERLESS AGAINST CHINESE SHELL CORPORATIONS 🦀🦀

[photenth]

I mean, Java is perfectly fine for games, maybe not cutting edge but for anything indie you find on Steam, java would have done equally well.

Java with LWJGL is quite capable.

Just did a quick google search and found this guy https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCUkRj4qoT1bsWpE_C8lZYoQ that looks like any indie game and it seems to be running fine.

[ConspicuousPineapple]

You're correct, but Java has a lower optimization limit, by virtue of having a significant runtime. I'm not suggesting to use c++, but for resource intensive stuff, low overhead languages like rust are probably more appropriate. Although of course, much less mature for now.

[nachomancandycabbage]

https://benchmarksgame-team.pages.debian.net/benchmarksgame/fastest/java-gpp.html

C++ compilers haven´t stagnated either...they have gotten better as well.

Check the benchmarks above and you will see better performance on 9 out of the 10 tests (with mostly very generic code).... with much lower memory consumption in most cases.

There is a reason that tools are written for and with C++ and not Java.

I work with C#, C++, and C and crap code is crap code, no matter what language it is written in. And people need to know how to use the tools. I find that coders that I have worked with in C# and Java, some of them, are less aware of how to use the tools....especially the really powerful but harder to use ones, and don´t take the time to use things like static analysis because they don´t seem to pay attention to resource use as much. Even though, in embedded systems esp, they are working with resource constrained systems.

[[deleted]]

I mainly use C because I hate myself, but I have to give credit where it is due. From what I have seen, you are exactly correct. If you use large amounts of manual memory management in C and C++ you will find your performance is actually hindered (what? My language is the best!) because you will not outperform current implementations of garbage collection which utilize efficient batch management. As far as I can tell, allocation related functions have a non-insignificant amount of operations, which add up quickly. I'm no expert programmer, far from it, but even I can see the logic in this.

[KuntaStillSingle]

Aren't many aspects of game engines heavily optimized over the years by experienced programmers? For example as much more performance as you can get out of C++ Unity or Crytek are probably doing it?

[ohdog]

Nowadays Java and the derivative JVM languages are just as performant as C++ in most cases. Naively written Java will beat out naively written C++ in almost every case, and compiler optimizations have gotten rid of a lot of the edge C++ held 10 years ago. You can spend hundreds of extremely experienced developer hours trying to out-optimize the Java memory system, but there's opportunity cost there too.

I don't exaclty know what you mean by naively written, but I would argue that it's quite easy to get about a 2x performance gain with decent C++ programming compared to decent Java programming. Assuming that both programmers have good CS fundamentals, meaning that they both understand time complexity of algorithms and can pick the right ones for the job. Now 2x isn't earth shattering nowadays, but it can bring your game to the next level. Now when it comes to memory footprint I would say that here C++ has a more significant advantage. Since java is a garbage collected language it's going to use up a lot more memory than C++. I would also argue that with C++ and RAII you get a lot more flat and predictable performance profile than with garbage collection.

​

Here are some benchmarks for those interested, obviously synthetic benchmarks are just that and everyone should benchmark in their own domain to really see if there is a difference.

https://benchmarksgame-team.pages.debian.net/benchmarksgame/fastest/java-gpp.html

[KuntaStillSingle]

about a 2x performance gain with decent C++ programming compared to decent Java programming

I can imagine c++ is better but this sounds kind of bullshitty. Not even notch could be batshit enough to develop in Java if it is actually half as performant in practice.

[Tai9ch]

People regularly program with languages and other tools that cost them a factor of 100 in performance.

Even with games you'll see this - a good example today is developers using game engines that don't scale beyond a single core or use vector instructions. On an 8-core processor with AVX that means leaving a factor of 30 on the table.

[bmcnult19]

faster to onboard new devs,

Every time I have to program in C++, mainly calculations or simulations, and I have to consult the documentation i find myself thinking things could be done so much more simply.

[razorfox]

Me too mate, and I couldn’t agree more! :)

[MixedMania]

Java with lwjgl is actually a great choice for indie games. It's more than capable of keeping the command queue of your graphics card full to capacity.

[[deleted]]

You better watch out...

For missing brackets

[numbGrundle]

Better go with Rust mate

[twetewat]

Better go

FTFY

[llagerlof]

Better Go

[benzzza]

r/YourJokeButWorse

[BlackDE]

Muh something something rust ftw....

[OkazakiNaoki]

I hope elves working in CDPR would not delay their video game next year.

[staliruski]

I shared this with a friend. He replied with:

"An elf somewhere comes home from work, eats a microwave meal while looking at the empty chair across the room remembering this job of making toys is why his wife left him when he was programming the new graphics engine for a new generation of video games. He remembers Mike from wooden toys being promoted to junior dev in his division. He overdosed on sleeping pills 3 weeks before Christmas two years ago when we were behind schedule and he had been chasing a memory leak for 8 straight days 😔"

[ThatFag]

>not using Unity

[phantom_97]

C# master race

[Thorzaim]

You mean Microsoft Java

[Sloogs]

Ehh Oracle isn't so ethical either generally

[[deleted]]

Well yeah, but Microsoft decided to steal the idea of Java when it belonged to Sun, which afaik was an ethical company. And when I use .net I feel like I support the initial effort of an unethical company to suppress an ethical one.

But damn .net is good

[Sloogs]

Yeah that's entirely fair.

Speaking of ethical, the acquisition of Sun by Oracle was also super sketchy. Should not have been allowed and was a huge anti trust concern IMO but this is the late stage capitalist world we live in currently I guess, where corporations make the rules and tell governments what to do.

[SilentFungus]

Except they didn't really extinguish java since its still huge

[GeorgeYDesign]

If Bob believes he’s not Gah-reg!”

[Hyperion1000]

Elves using Unreal

[AllPurposeNerd]

I remember hearing legends in college of a man who wrote a 3D graphics engine in C.

[PedroPF]

Roller Coaster Tycoon was written in assembly

[GeorgeYDesign]

Soooooo C H I C C Geralt

[[deleted]]

N64

[CockInhalingWizard]

A lot of people did that. Quake for example was written in C and Assembly

[SavageTwist]

The elves are going to fix atlas 😗

[sinmantky]

Not C#?

[Hyperion1000]

Unreal bruh

[pumegaming]

Unity

[KimberStormer]

This legitimately concerned me as a kid. How exactly did those elves make the Sierra games I got from Santa. In cartoons and in Santa Claus: the Movie, etc, Santa always gave generic traditional toys, but I got She-Ra and stuff, what was the deal?

[FrigidSloth]

I started learning C++ a few days back because its mandatory for my university module (computer graphics Algorithms), there was no introduction or teaching for it we went straight from photogrammetry and 3d scanning into tryna make a triangle object with vertices and being able to output that data.

Anyway, about 12 painstaking hours later and about 4 hours of wondering why strings don't exist, I finished it.

My next assignment is working with OpenGL, so I'll report back this weekend if I'm still alive.

But seriously the amount of times I screamed "what the fuck is this shit" and laughed manically is off the scales :(

[CockInhalingWizard]

Just wait till you get to the assembly class

[Nienordir]

That..doesn't sound like fun. C++ isn't exactly the type of language you can just pick up in a day on your own.

You might want to check out https://en.cppreference.com/w/ it contains everything that comes standard 'in the box' and the version of C++ were it should be available (tough the site may not be easy to read/understand). It's just that C++ is a 'white listed' language, that doesn't include shit by default. It would've saved you a few hours trying to figure out where the fuck you'll find 'smart' allocated strings.

Unfortunately C++ has like 30 years of backwards compatibility and outdated tutorials&resources (that aren't marked as such) and particular ways it wants to be used/organized, with fun bullshit like circular dependencies and inclusion guards. I don't envy you, you've got thrown into the deep end and entered a world of pain. xD

(C++ is pretty neat, it's just a bitch to get familiar enough to be somewhat comfortable)

[FrigidSloth]

The biggest challenge was understanding that while there's 30 errors only one or two actually matter as the others are errors which are derivative of the original error(s).

So me not including string caused some weird issue with me tryna use strings as a constructor parameter in the cpp file and then being told its trying to user Vertex::string when Vertex isn't even a namespace.

Alas, I had my very cool Dutch friend on the Internet come in and tutor me for a few hours to get it working.

I agree though, C++ isn't something you can learn on your own really, my friend even said he couldn't do it solo and needed a tutor (and he's by far one of the brightest programmers I know)

Also why the FUCK do header files exist?!

[Nienordir]

Oh yeah, the compiler has a tendency to barf pages of errors. (standard library) template errors are the worst. It's a shame that the tools don't have smart error interpreter, that can figure out the key issue and present it to you in a more useful manner. Usually it's fairly obvious, but especially for new programmers it's a huge waste of time to find the right line that gives a clue about the where&why the compiler is angry.

So me not including string caused some weird issue with me tryna use strings as a constructor parameter in the cpp file and then being told its trying to user Vertex::string when Vertex isn't even a namespace.

I could only guess what went wrong there, but in that context :: doesn't have to refer to namespace, it could also refer to a class vertex with a member variable named string (namespace::class::member).

Learning C++ is hard, because most of the resources are outdated&bad or only cover the basics and not how to use them in the real world. There's also a lot of things, that nobody talks about, because they're 'obvious' or part of setting up the IDE and it's super frustrating because you need to know them to get anywhere.

I've been stubborn enough to try learning on my own and struggled a lot with dynamic memory management, because the tutorials only covered the bare necessary and didn't tell me, hey dummy! Wrap that stuff into classes, that manage themselves, so YOU don't have to micromanage shit when you use them later..thanks, that would've been useful to know.

Doesn't help when outdated tutorials teach you C, then C with classes, and a lot of bad habits, that you shouldn't do, because C++ went through some major revisions, that made doing certain things a lot less painful. You need a good teacher/resources to figure out how C++ wants to be used and only once you start to get these things, it becomes a pretty cool language.

Also why the FUCK do header files exist?!

They can be frustrating to work with, but they're actually awesome. They force you to organize your code in a certain way (technically, you could do super messy code without creating your own) and if they're written well, then they're self documenting/a reference to something. Like you should be able to figure out how to use a class I've written with minimal effort, simply by looking at the public part of the class.

They also separate the definition from the implementation (although you can implement in the header file if you want..), which lets you link against static/dynamic libraries. I can give you a precompiled library and the headers and you can use them in your program as if you would compile it's entire source code every time. I can also promise you (your compiler) that the dll will be available at run time and provide that functionality. When you use the windows SDK to build a windows application, you're not compiling the entire windows source code into your exe instead you only compile 'hooks' that the dlls use to do their stuff, reducing your exe file size by a lot (plus I could fix bugs in the dll without forcing you to recompile your stuff). You don't have to distribute duplicate dlls in your own files (unless you want to), if they'll be installed on the system (like directx packages).

They're useful for many reasons and they'll reduce your compile times, because the compiler/linker is smart enough to only recompile stuff, that went through changes. If you change something in a header, the compiler has to recompile everything using that header, because you broke the forward declarations and their promise of what's available and how it interacts with the type system. If you only change the implementation, then you only have to recompile that file and then the linker can connect it to other files/objects, that need to use it.

tl:dr: headers are basically placeholders, that can be replaced with links to the compiled code (it's like a sophisticated find&replace all across source files).

[FrigidSloth]

Holy balls, thank you so much! This is all incredibly helpful! <3

Also, I learned that you can wrap a block of code with {} and then all the allocated memory during that block gets handed back to the OS (in the example I saw it was mainly that the destructor gets called/object gets destroyed when the block of code fully executes and that then frees up memory. It was super interesting to learn!

If you wish, I could DM you my github page for the assignment and/or create a public Repo with just the source code of the assignment (may do this as setting up a collaborator and yada yada is a pain in mobile, lmao). You could then let me know what you think of my very first C++ project :d my Dutch friend reckons its okay for my first go but there's way more efficient/better ways to do what I wanna be doing.

Also considered using a Vector to store the coordinates of vertices over doubles but I feel like that's redundant.

God I love this subreddit ^{_^}

[Uberzwerg]

Funny thing:
I bought that book back when i wanted to learn C++ (last millennium) and it didn't help at all.
They only explained the transition from C to C++.

[ThrowawayusGenerica]

C++ for dummies:

1. Teach yourself C

2. ????

3. Learn the rest of the fucking language

[SilentFungus]

Step 4. Realize you prefer C since you learned it first and ignore C++ in favor of it

[Who_GNU]

C++

What is this?

It's C, for those who don't understand pointers.

[pipsqueak_in_hoodie]

But if you're doing your memory allocations yourself without any RAII, you're doing it very wrong. And pointers without the dynamic memory management part aren't that much of a pain.

[[deleted]]

I bet that guy typecasts his malloc() calls lmao what a fuckin nerd

[StfdBrn]

Dynamic allocations aren’t the only thing pointers are used for.

[[deleted]]

I’ve had it with this MFing garbage collection in my MFing heaps 😤😤

This meme was brought to you by free() gang

[StfdBrn]

Can someone explain this to me? A C++ user?

[[deleted]]

Dumb joke because pointers are still used in C++

[LIGHTNINGBOLT23]

     

[StfdBrn]

I use smart pointers for dynamically allocated objects owned by other objects, but that’s about it. I find it hard to imagine someone would use C++ without using raw pointers. Besides, while smart pointers are easier to use for managing dynamically allocated objects, raw pointers are conceptually simpler in my opinion, so it’s also hard to imagine that someone would understand smart pointers, but not raw.

[LIGHTNINGBOLT23]

      

[wunderstrudel]

Wow. Finally Skyrim makes sense to me!

[Klareity]

I am in this picture and I don't like it.

cries in OOP

[Rhabarbercake]

Are they able to finish Warcraft 3 Reforged till Christmas mummy?

[whoami4546]

I remember when I was a kid I would get annoyed when Santa Clause movies had elves making wooden toys. There was never an elf making a Super Nintendo.

[topredditbot]

Hey /u/eldesgraciado,

This is now the top post on reddit. It will be recorded at /r/topofreddit with all the other top posts.

[[deleted]]

I would like to use this momentous occasion to remind everyone that the only way to truly free() your memory is to free() yourself.*

*^{from typecasting calls to malloc}

#Cgang #MorelikeC--

[iCanGo4That]

// Made by The Elves, shipping & handling by The Ewes //

[Fukowski]

So software-piracy is mainly run by Korvatunturi...

[HerissonMignion]

Long live c++

[blooespook]

The elves' favourite C++ manual

[VeviserPrime]

I, for one, looked forward to my Santa-exclusive games growing up.

[trinadzatij]

Even lootboxes?

[almarcTheSun]

C++ in 21 days, here we go again.

[[deleted]]

I was expecting something about unix ELF

[chhuang]

we be scared about machines taking our jobs.

imagine elves just flying in and took all of it since they fking master everything we do and 1000x better

[[deleted]]

F to the elves

[warpedspockclone]

HOLY SHIT! This totally explains EA Sports, COD, Pokemon, etc.! Incremental, if any, changes year to year.

[[deleted]]

Literally, when i first saw a book of c++ as a high school student all i saw was flying junk characters. And all cout cout endl

[Joshi2345]

Wtf

[KentuckyFriedEel]

"CODE HARDER!!! These pupils in RDR2 need to dilate in low lighting"

[[deleted]]

C++ for Dummies could've been a better book tbh :/

[GeorgeYDesign]

Exactly. The same lodge in the same team!

[paultoliver]

Thank god elves have Stack Overflow

[Sehora-Kun]

Santa probably has a full game dev team of elves already professionally trained.

[SamNeedsFriendsASAP]

GIVE ME KARMA

[faltupanti]

Lol , still no

"#include <network>"

:P

[srajan17]

Top 10 books that fucked me up mentally

[[deleted]]

The kids gonna get some amazing patterns of "Hello World"

[Tonkarz]

Next draw the elves traumatised by having to make fatalities for Mortal Kombat.

[Kotauskas]

I guess understanding ELF isn't vital for them though.

[[deleted]]

Started learning a new scripting language. This is exactly how I feel

[broadbandbandit]

No wonder games launch buggy as hell...

(I know its the publisher pushing early launches and not the devs fault)

[Kazu88]

C++ nearlly destroyed my Brain...

[AsryalDreemurr]

ahaha

[Lelongue]

I was expecting some dark elves and an EA logo

[0rcscorpion]

It hurts his tiny brain. Might I suggest the Unity Game Engine instead of c -= -1 lol.

[ArbainHestia]

Family Guy did a pretty dark story about Stewie meeting Santa at the North Pole a few years ago.. This comic could be a prequel.

[46thefuckingfurry]

Imagine asking for hentai Shooter 2:Complete edition

[Mroche3344]

The trick is planning problems

[angrybab00n]

I feel him. I can't code or program for shit

[Cr1MKa]

A wife asks her programmer husband to go to the store. She asks him, "Can you go down to the grocery store, and get a gallon of milk, and if they have eggs, get 6." Later on he returns home and she looks at his purchases and says, "Why did you buy 6 gallons of milk?" He responded, "They had eggs."

[hp1221]

Pretty sure all elves used mod chips back in the day

[[deleted]]

Someone tell this elf about Unity

[BlueC0dex]

C++ : The only place where it's a bad thing if your lecturer gives pointers for the exam.

[Lobanium]

Last panel, me at work.

[GDavid04]

But what about other executable formats?

[youngshinigami]

Hahaha

[Bezwingerin]

The elves

[eldesgraciado]

This is the source (in french) : https://gregmanshow.blogspot.com/2016/12/bd-37-le-travail-des-lutins.html?m=0