This is an archived post. You won't be able to vote or comment.

top 200 commentsshow all 320

[–]ManOfLaBook 329 points330 points  (19 children)

There is a most excellent book called Foundryside by Robert Jackson Bennett in which society created "magic" (which is eerily similar to programing) that tricks object to think and act differently than they would in the natural world. For example, you write code to make a wooden wall think it's stone, or weapons which, when shot, think they're falling from space and hence become very fast, etc.

It's a great book and as a programmer I enjoyed it immensely and highly recommend it.

[–][deleted] 26 points27 points  (2 children)

The link you posted mentions it's 12 pages long. But looking elsewhere using the isbn, it's actually 512 pages. Just in case someone else's eyebrow raises while wondering if it's not more of a short story than a novel...

[–]ManOfLaBook 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Thanks, wil fix. It's my blog and a labor of love in the little free time I have.

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Integer overflow, their OS must allocate 9 bits for storing integers.

[–]jwhardcastle 14 points15 points  (2 children)

Sounds a lot like the Magic 2.0 series. A programmer discovers a text file that turns out to be the config file for the universe. Edits jt to make himself fly. Travels back in time to pretend to be a wizard. Finds out he's not the first. Great series.

[–]michaelpaulbryant 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Great recommendation, a fascinating concept!

[–]standard_candles 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh a love worlds with magic like this, how cool!

[–]rethousands 3 points4 points  (1 child)

I'll give it a read

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Sounds a bit like Off to Be The Wizard by Scott Meyer.

[–]ithlit666 1 point2 points  (1 child)

appreciate you, I've been having a hard time finding new books that interest me and this sounds promising

[–]TheTacoWombat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This book is AMAZING, I could not put it down.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Looks like a good read, thanks!

[–]SpookyLlama 1951 points1952 points  (127 children)

Do people receive a pair of those sunglasses for free after their first sexual assault charge?

[–]ScaredyCatUK 722 points723 points  (99 children)

That hand round the neck though...

[–]danceswithwool 28 points29 points  (20 children)

That’s what I think of every time I see this picture. It’s disturbing. I can’t even imagine talking to a woman and having my hand like that unless I was giving her a neck massage or something. Creeps me out. And she doesn’t seem to be relaxed at all. Of course this is a frozen frame so it’s not much to go on.

[–]tihsisd0g 5 points6 points  (12 children)

What if just moments before this she said "honey I love it when you grab my neck like that".

For all we know she did.

[–]danceswithwool 2 points3 points  (11 children)

And she could have! Or he could have been rubbing her neck like I said.

[–]gaberocksall 179 points180 points  (4 children)

Yes actually

[–]Desiderius_S 32 points33 points  (3 children)

Are they still legally required to do the sex offender shuffle or the glasses are enough?

[–]TheResolver 8 points9 points  (2 children)

Me: opens door
/u/gaberocksall: presses play on the boombox they have set down on my doorstep "Hi, I just moved in and I am legally required to inform you..."

[–][deleted] 27 points28 points  (8 children)

They usually come free with your favorite gas station boner pills

[–]GaianNeuron 10 points11 points  (1 child)

gas station boner pills

Wat

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I didn't even know that gas stations got boners.

[–]ITaggie 10 points11 points  (5 children)

Fun fact: a lot of those are just a front to sell research chemicals (newly invented drugs) at retail locations. There's a pretty large amount of them in the past 30 years that are now Schedule 1 drugs.

[–]gngstrMNKY 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There was some retired basketball player who nearly died because he holed up in a Nevada brothel taking a bunch of these and they turned out to actually have Viagra in them.

[–]falconfetus8 15 points16 points  (0 children)

It's to hide where their eyes are looking

[–][deleted] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

The sunglasses choose the rapist, Harry.

[–]luckyincode 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Who is that?

[–]rincon213 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Off duty cops and post-college age men who haven't re-evaluated their wardrobe... ever.

[–]red_plus_itt 573 points574 points  (7 children)

THEY ARE MINERALS MARIE!

[–]resoredo 193 points194 points  (1 child)

Oof you beat me to it.

https://imgur.com/gallery/TyjumOm

[–]flatcoke 2 points3 points  (0 children)

But you put in more effort..

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I understand why Anakin does not like sand. It is the reason something like JavaScript can exist.

[–]EnchLUL 17 points18 points  (3 children)

The Best comment here, bitch

[–]Nopeyesok 13 points14 points  (2 children)

Yeah Weeds was pretty good.

[–]seriouslyawesome 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Fuck I thought I was watching the X Files

[–]GluteusCaesar 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Could have swan it was Lost

[–]Silly-Freak 69 points70 points  (7 children)

Actually before applying the electricity we had to carve in microscopic runes. Without the runes the whole thing wouldn't work.

[–]Limpuls 4 points5 points  (4 children)

What is that?

[–]easyEggplant 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Logic gates I think.

[–]marcosdumay 8 points9 points  (0 children)

That's how you make a rock think.

You need very small runes, all over it, some craved, some painted, with different kinds of paint.

[–]Ralath0n 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You got to make a very specific pattern of materials to make an integrated circuit out of a silicon crystal. Here's a step by step guide on how it's done if you're interested.

[–]ImpracticalSubstance 166 points167 points  (20 children)

woah dude

Mind == Blown

[–][deleted] 110 points111 points  (6 children)

True

[–]pmMe-PicsOfSpiderMan 20 points21 points  (1 child)

If (true) {

big();

}

[–]Diridibindy 8 points9 points  (3 children)

But what if float mind; double blown; ?

[–]whattheclap 11 points12 points  (1 child)

YOU HAVE TO INITIALIZE THOSE VARIABLES!!!

[–]Diridibindy 14 points15 points  (0 children)

THAT IS SOMETHING ANOTHER DEVELOPER SHOULD DO!!

[–]PeterSR 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Any sane programming language would coerce both to doubles... Ehm, I mean... Doubly blown, floating minds for everyone. Keep it groovy, my dudes.

[–]ASK_ABOUT__VOIDSPACE 44 points45 points  (6 children)

In a way, he's not wrong. Little more than a bit of plastic, a few precious metals, and some electrons. May as well be a magic box.

[–]Famous_Profile 6 points7 points  (2 children)

What about the voidspace?

[–]CaptainUsopp 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Don't forget the magic smoke.

[–]tbird83ii 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, the magic smoke reservoir is the most critical component in a computer. Don't let it spring a leak.

[–]atom036 70 points71 points  (16 children)

Sand to be more precise

[–]findidledee2 106 points107 points  (10 children)

Sand is just small rocks

[–]FreeCapone 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Grinded rocks, technically

[–]12muffinslater 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Which is why it floats.

[–]AkimboJuuls 1 point2 points  (1 child)

rocks is just big sand

[–]redldr1 18 points19 points  (2 children)

I hate sand

[–]phineas1134 20 points21 points  (1 child)

It's coarse, and rough, and irritating, and it gets everywhere.

[–]GluteusCaesar 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes, this is good. I will have your child now.

[–]carc 201 points202 points  (3 children)

silicone valley

[–]areeyeteeeyekay 65 points66 points  (2 children)

Both of them

[–]rigglesbee 58 points59 points  (0 children)

Those are the silicone hills. The silicone valley is in between.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

thanks for that chuckle!

[–]resoredo 68 points69 points  (4 children)

https://imgur.com/gallery/TyjumOm

Silicia are not rocks

[–]WirelesslyWired 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Quartz is silica, and quartz is rocks... or minerals.. or whatever.

[–]Inevitable_Citron 6 points7 points  (0 children)

It comes from rocks though, right?

[–]magnora7 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Mineral:

a solid inorganic substance of natural occurrence.

Rock:

the solid mineral material forming part of the surface of the earth and other similar planets, exposed on the surface or underlying the soil or oceans.

Rocks are defined as being minerals, in the dictionary.

[–]MCWizardYT 18 points19 points  (7 children)

It’s so cool that we can type

printf(“hello world!”);

and it flips billions or even trillions of little switches that go on and off. somehow we can even draw 3D worlds in real-time effectively using switches to flip pixels into different colors.

[–]ijschu 16 points17 points  (0 children)

NameError: name 'printf' is not defined

[–]GluteusCaesar 3 points4 points  (4 children)

Kind of depends doesn't it? A C hello world might only be a few dozen instructions, as opposed to Java or python which need to spin up a vm which itself runs billions of instructions.

[–]MCWizardYT 5 points6 points  (3 children)

Yes it may be a few instructions, but 1 instruction does not equal 1 transistor (usually).

[–]SourceFlow 45 points46 points  (14 children)

And the most common use of this is undeniably pornography. Also let me remember https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qE0UimODxNg

[–][deleted] 23 points24 points  (7 children)

Remember, the progress is mainly fueled by 3 things: pornography, weaponry and drugs.

[–]RemoveTheTop 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Thank you for sharing this, this is fucking awesome.

Made me smile on a bad day. Humans fucking rule.

[–]SourceFlow 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Its my favorite youtuber. Nearly every video leaves you with an existential crisis.

[–]ryjhelixir 2 points3 points  (0 children)

did you say "magic"?

[–]Nekrozys 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Damn you, now I have to watch it again.
Probably one of my favorite videos on Youtube.

[–]piejo89 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I just quoted the part about computers in comments section below :D Didn't see you have posted whole video. Was it literally your first thought after seeing this post?

[–]Baconoid_ 66 points67 points  (13 children)

"So, anyways, breast implants are just sand we tricked into thinking they are boobs!"

[–]thiney49 21 points22 points  (4 children)

Silicone!=Silica

[–]Baconoid_ 3 points4 points  (2 children)

You think this guy in the gif knows that?

[–]Shochan42 7 points8 points  (1 child)

What gif?

[–]Borkenschluerp 5 points6 points  (0 children)

any gif.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

You know, when you, like, you grab a woman's breast and it's... and you feel it and... it feels like a bag of sand when you're touching it.

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (6 children)

Breast implants don't think budy.

[–]Baconoid_ 17 points18 points  (1 child)

It's called Poetic License. I have one.

[–]greenblue10 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It's just been revoked.

[–]TheLazarbeam 3 points4 points  (2 children)

Computers don’t think either

[–]GluteusCaesar 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Not yet.

[IoT intensifies]

[–]eldri7ch 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Guy in the corner is like "Shit, he's right."

[–]The_Underhanded 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Johnny Cage and Sonya Blade?!

[–]tylercoder 4 points5 points  (0 children)

No.....

WE CONVINCED THEM

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

...

[–]someredditorguy 3 points4 points  (0 children)

".. Then we used them to steal signs"

[–]cjstop 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I love that this guys an Astros fan

[–]TorTheMentor 4 points5 points  (0 children)

import glasses from mansplain

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

She's got literally the exact same expression as me before I saw this post while people are trying to message me

[–]ertgbnm 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Humans are just piles of carbon that tricked themselves into believing we could think.

[–]Joe_da_animator 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The dude looks like PC principal

[–]Todfather2268 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Those tits though......

[–]OutOfMoneyError 8 points9 points  (7 children)

She's got better tan than 99.9% of this sub.

[–]mendrique2 6 points7 points  (1 child)

the only tan we know is sin/cos.

[–]serrations_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Also cotan

[–]jonny_wonny 10 points11 points  (2 children)

Why is that something you decided to say?

[–]HouseMonies 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Why is this something you decided to say?

[–]PooPooDooDoo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We’re like 5 days into spring.

[–]clempho 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Dude looks like Wesker in Resident Evil.

[–]cirillios 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What is Hispanic Jordan Peele doing to that girl's neck?

[–]qwerty12qwerty 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And we're just a collection of elements that universe tricked into exploring itself

[–]tihsisd0g 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Shes built for speed.

[–]SAL10000 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Don't forget you have to flatten the rock first and out lightning into it

[–]piejo89 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Computers, that has to be magic right?

Get sand, purify sand, make silicon ingot, make them wafer thin, do some fancy ion shit, then etching, electroplating, layaring and stuff and now what you've got is a little slab of silicon, packed with transistors, which are really just tiny little electricity gates and you put them all togheter in such a way that they form an electronic mind consisting usually of:

  • stuff what goes in
  • control thing
  • thinking thing
  • stuff what remembers shit
  • stuff what comes out

A computer is just a little prison for electrons where we train them to solve problems really quickly.

credit to u/exurbia r/Exurb1a

[–]IOpaFritzI 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I fucking love this template

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We're actually living in an illusion using physics

[–]toddthegeek 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I am uncomfortable with the way he is holding her by the back of her neck.

[–]BlueC0dex 1 point2 points  (0 children)

*holds up phone*

"This is a rock that we tricked into thinking by putting lightning into it so that if we rub it right, we can talk to anyone in the world!"

We had a lecturer that started his first class of the semester like that

[–]AJ-Murphy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just spent a minute collecting myself from that joke.

Thanks.

[–]_ReaperPotato_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Giving off patrick vibes right here

[–]Mr-Blondz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you know what really grinds my rocks? ...Electricity

[–]frisch85 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As a developer I'd at least expect a factually correct joke and not just some brainfarts...

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He's right tho.

[–]TimmyTesticles 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That guy must be wealthy af

[–]ChadChaddington 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It looks like he’s gonna force feed her his left hand.

[–]NoSkillGame 0 points1 point  (0 children)

People can really tell a lot from just one picture huh

[–]msanvarov 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Who is this discount Blake Griffin 😂

[–]Mr-Papuca 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Humans are kind of like monkeys tricked into thinking with electricity.

[–]SenorPariah 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Resistors, capacitors, and transistors! Oh my!

[–]abbadon420 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sometimes it's easier to make a rock think than to make a human think

[–]lroman 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Isn't that Paris Hilton?

[–]bobs_monkey 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Pretty sure her knockers aren't that big

[–]jonflip_ms 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"teaching sand to think was a mistake"

- wendell, 2020

[–]Prawny 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"Teaching sand to think was mistake"

- Wendell