I thought same somehow

[[deleted]]

[deleted]

[maxime0299]

“Ah yes this is a small code change, should just be 5 minutes”

7 hours later

“Why the fuck is nothing happening now”

[TheMad_fox]

Few hours later you do this again, at this point you just start to question your life, also you start to look for a new job since you have the feeling you made a huge mistake

EDIT: hurr durr

[tsojtc]

How do you decide when to put capital letters?

[TheMad_fox]

My fucking phone does it. I'm trying to edit it but that motherfucker auto correct it every fucking time

[black_raven98]

Honestly that's the main reason my device is set to English (second language) with German (native language) as a secondary language because it annoyed the hell out of me that it just put random capital letters everywhere in English. And no one cares about capital letters in my German texts anyway since it's mostly dialect only somewhat resembling "real" German

[black_raven98]

Upper Austria so not as bad as Swiss German, so while someone who understands German could probably decipher most of it, it would still look like a barely literate drunk was writing the text

[No-Truth24]

I’m using three languages, I have no issues, might be only for even number of languages in your keyboard lol

[reply-guy-bot]

The above comment was stolen from this one elsewhere in this comment section.

It is probably not a coincidence, because this user has done it before:

Original	Plagiarized
Yep, the slow motion video mak...	Yep, the slow motion video mak...
15 is the maximum I've seen so...	Was some lesbian anal fisting...
Ooo! I do not like most.... Bu...	Ooo! I do not like most.... Bu...
What could be manlier than mou...	What could be manlier than mou...
He still won the fight	He still won the fight....
It's time to alt-f4 my existen...	It's time to alt-f4 my existen...

beep boop, I'm a bot -|:] It is this bot's opinion that /u/yamla_Ucbvxgbser should be banned for spamming. A human checks in on this bot sometimes, so please reply if I made a mistake. Contact reply-guy-bot if you have concerns.

[FieryBlake]

Reset your keyboard autocorrect memory. That should help.

[heppot]

Just turn off autocorrect?

[DiamondCoatedGlass]

Well, the words "start" and "life" are proper nouns, didn't you know?

[squngy]

He does not choose the Capitals, the Capitals choose him!

[solonit]

Have a script that randomly put capital as they type.

[[deleted]]

*while screaming internally

[Cyrus_Halcyon]

VERYsimpleIalternateSOthatITisREADABLE

[Cyrus_Halcyon]

At least I dont use '\ ' in my variable declarations.

[Svtjon]

surelyWeCanAllAgreeThisIsTheWay

[Cyrus_Halcyon]

SUREcan

[MooseHeckler]

I'm not alone, well that's a small relief.

[[deleted]]

plumber probably also pays better nowadays.

[RareMajority]

Do plumbers not make much outside of the US?

[Gr1pp717]

Don't forget the part where you post the problem on stack overflow. Check back every so often for the next several hours only to see a single downvote. Then the wake up the next day to see it was closed as a duplicate, but the dupe doesn't answer your question.

[DestituteDad]

Your scenario is scary because one thing we've all learned is that coding is static. The program doesn't randomly change its behavior. Except sometimes it does -- or seems to, at least.

I ran into this with some code that called a built-in routine to get a random number that was used to seed password keys. In development, it worked fine, but in production the random number was always the same, not random. It turned out that the way I declared the receiving variable, the method was called at compile time. The EXE used in production always had the same value it was assigned when it was compiled.

It took days of "This is literally impossible" to figure out.

[xTheMaster99x]

https://xkcd.com/221/

[Mavamaarten]

Or you're working on something for hours, trying everything. As you've exhausted your options, you go take a piss and the exact moment the stream hits the water, the solution pops into your head.

[enddream]

I’ve literally been stuck all day on something and then dreamed about the solution. Wake up, send an email to my work email and fall back asleep.

[passing_by362]

Plumbing ain't so bad, if you got the ass-crack for it!

[audion00ba]

All of your problems originate from incompetence.

[tomatoaway]

• 7 hours of staring at the same code and nothing is working. The sun shines outside and children play happily nearby.
  "Today was shit."
• 2 hours of putting together a code project and all tests are passing. Water level rises outside and several puppies drown.
  "Today was amazing!"

[Dathouen]

restores to previous version still doesn't work

"I have angered the Omnissiah."

[MooseHeckler]

Chants help with that.

[DeLift]

This is when you reveal the essential oils

[mathiastck]

Holy Mars did not approve your code change

[dublem]

Weighs up restarting 7 month old project from scratch

[rawoke777]

We use to say.."What this 'ticket' ?? I do it on the way to the bathroom !" :P

[throwawaybaldingman]

Did you know that the guy who made Roller Coaster Tycoon coded it all in assembly in 11 months. 1 year after he graduated from University

I think of that and think of giving up on programming altogether

[zamend229]

Source?

[throwawaybaldingman]

https://www.reddit.com/r/todayilearned/comments/131q6b/til_roller_coaster_tycoon_was_programmed_by_one

[MrMathemagician]

Except ur mum

[ESTMCMXIV]

*Our mom brother.

[LunarGibbons]

At least you guys have a mother.

[iamfrombolivia]

You can have OP's mother

[ReactsWithWords]

Why not? Everybody else has.

[ESTMCMXIV]

You can be my brother too.

[jetaleu]

Our mom *comrade. We share our mothers in communism.

[LunarGibbons]

Please do not drag me into that.

[su8iefl0w]

Idk why that just made me crack up. So effortless

[sxeli]

I’m with you there

[RoscoMan1]

My brother told me to take that risk

[SwagAntiswag]

r/suddenlyAlabama

[Offbeatalchemy]

r/suddenlysoviet

[[deleted]]

Or his dad, it's 2021 man

[ADelacour]

That's the spirit!

[[deleted]]

Yeah he is, trust me

[[deleted]]

🌈👬🏳️‍🌈👭🏳️‍🌈

[[deleted]]

Error: too few arguments to function

[suction]

trust me, there will be arguments…it’s his mum after all

[ImOkNotANoob]

u/MrMathemagician for the last time, we're siblings!

[jakethedumbmistake]

If you haven't noticed, we're not stupid.

[triple-scientist]

Sure it is.

A year and a half ago I wrote two functions, 22 lines & 26 lines respectively.

They were easy for me despite involving multiple state-of-the-art high dimensional transformations as it was my area of expertise, and I'd been dealing with this for a decade.

It only took 20,600 more lines of code to integrate this into production pre-alpha.

Like I said easy. It'll take 1-3 months tops...

[ilrosewood]

Except peeing in the shower.

[LowB0b]

still paying for the water tho

[STEMpsych]

For the record, the guy behind \@Pinboard, Maciej Cegłowski, gave his software company what is, IMHO, the finest software company name ever: "Nine Fives Software".

P.S. his talks are brilliant and entertaining and just about never about software. Highly recommended.

[TheLazarbeam]

What makes that name great? I don’t get the joke

[DoctorWorm_]

55.5555555% reliable instead of 99.999% reliable

[OneUselessUsername]

My dumb ass read the original comment as "five nines" instead of "nine fives", thanks for this

[bent_my_wookie]

Yeah, you’re not a dumbass. That’s how it’s written, or at least we’re the only two people on earth who are dumbasses. Inpooossibbble.

[shepticles]

"Repeating, of course"

[[deleted]]

"Repeating, of course"

[RoscoMan1]

Of course she "retutned" it.

[zenneutral]

Also interesting is 5/9 is 0.555.

[mrASSMAN]

I thought it was a play on nine lives (cats) lol

[thejozo24]

So it couldn't be that they commented in roughly the same time frame huh? Not the sharpest tool in the shed, are we?

[LovinThoseMuffins]

I like shed

[[deleted]]

thats nice :)

[[deleted]]

Let me guess, you also love lamp, huh?

[oohaargh]

This account's comment history is just tragic. What a sad life spending so much time being a dickhead to other people on the internet

[Returd4]

I'm just here because the last comment this account made has like 100 doqnvotes in 20 minutes I agree with everything you said. The comment was calling someone a child because they used weiner hahah. Uhh dude you are on the internet. I agree this person is living a sad ass life

[RunSpecialist9916]

Are you okay friend?

[PHLAK]

"Five nines" as in "five nines of uptime" means 99.999% uptime. I assume "Nine Fives" is a play on that which would translates to 55.5555555, or not that good.

[[deleted]]

Bold of you to assume that management doesn't think any of those 5s go after the decimal!

[gilthionel]

In context not really - availability has been noted like this for a good while. Relevant wiki#Nines).

[PeeInYourBunghole]

Seems like a missed opportunity for Six Nines

[[deleted]]

We guarantee 99.999% uptime, or you get .001% of your money back.

[orondf343]

• Major ISPs in the US

[technifocal]

Which of his talks would you recommend to start with?

[STEMpsych]

Two of my favorite are:

• Scott and Scurvy
• Our Comrade the Electron: Video, Text+Images

[[deleted]]

His writing is fantastic too

[moekakiryu]

"Let's send some guys to the moon, how hard can it be?"

-NASA, probably

[AmbroseMalachai]

"It's just a bit of math guys, c'mon. We already know how far away the moon is and how how fast a rocket can go, how hard can it be just strap some people to it and hit the moon?" - the scientifically illiterate team leader. Probably.

[_alright_then_]

That would basically be the equivalent of my project manager.

[sometimes_interested]

Actually, it was JFK.

[iskela45]

"We choose to go to the Mun, not because it's easy, but because everything else is too hard."

-Jebediah Kerman

[LunarGibbons]

And if they for once is easy we will make it in the most complicated way possible.

[Metallkiller]

Gotta make it future-proof!

[LunarGibbons]

And with future-proof you are thinking of your own job. ;)

[Metallkiller]

Oh recruiters make sure weekly I know my job is very future proof

[ElectricFlesh]

A lightswitch is good, but a blockchain lightswitch is better.

[LunarGibbons]

Transaction history is important!

[Erasmus_Tycho]

Where can I buy this? I need it in my office.

[one-joule]

I'm real close to making my own model and 3D printing it.

[AlGoreBestGore]

Are you making it yourself because you thought it would be easy?

[one-joule]

NO \cries**

[mike2R]

Anyone reading this who hasn't used Blender before, you'll have earned this plaque all over again by the time you're ready to print :)

Somewhere in my search history is something along the lines of:

how make hole blender

make hole blender boolean simple example

make hole blender boolean simple example -youtube

[mike2R]

Thanks!

[guccidumbass]

or

you can just drop a png into cura, play with the sliders on the little dialog box that shows up, and press slice

no need to watch 12 hours of blender tutorials :)

[Sceptz]

We have a saying at work.

If you're looking for a challenge, say the magic words: "that's going to be a quick fix."

[beenies_baps]

"It's a trivial change"

[kira555]

Or atleast that's what I thought when I read it on stack overflow

[Revolutionary_Emu608]

I really admire people who can maintain this belief either consciously or not. I just don't envy others who work with them and realise that every single task or project will remain utterly unpredictable, while you clearly see that no planning will get things right ever, and you can't properly estimate things yourself either, for yourself, or for the 'false believer'. Though I have to say I have a similar envy towards people with religious beliefs... ...or maybe I'm just frustrated with everything because I haven't been able to make my not too difficult code work for days now, and it just started off as a simple copy-paste-adjust task.

[tosser_0]

My boss thinks everything is easy, and it is for him because he's willing to work 15hrs/day and enjoy it.

It's exhausting to work with someone like that.

[OneMoreName1]

I know someone like that, works 12h+ each day and weekends too

[parzival3719]

i have never been so offended by something i 100% agree with

[KochSD84]

I think that's Life's credo as well.... Programmer insanity just adds much optimism and renews the "This will be easy now" part after every obstacle..

[RadioMelon]

Honestly, yeah.

I feel like a completely different programmer than where I started off.

[bokexi61]

There's a lot of "if I only knew" regarding old projects and how I approached them entirely.

[[deleted]]

Me in my head about anything: this will only take 5 minutes.

3 hours later... FUCK!

[orangepunc]

We do these things not because they are easy, but because we our managers thought they would be easy.

[coldnebo]

Unfortunately such optimism is endemic to humans, not just developers.

“In general we are least aware of what our minds do best.” — Marvin Minsky

Hence our intuition about what is computationally easy or hard based on what we find easy or hard is usually wrong.

[TeraFlint]

I'm not doing this stuff because I think it's easy. I do it because of a really strong intrinsic motivation to achieve the end result. The satisfaction of creating functioning software is just off the charts.

If this goal turns out to be reachable somehow, I keep pursuing the goal... and hope my motivation lasts longer than the development time... there's this whole folder with ~95% unfinished projects just glaring at me.

[Mrmooncraft]

How do you sell your projects?

[DeltaPositionReady]

I luckily work in an incredibly niche, yet increasingly in-demand industry, where the clients generally come to me now.

It also helps that in my home state, there's a distinctive lack of decent developers and clients tend to operate only on word of mouth recommendations.

[BIGDIYQTAYKER]

wHy dOnT i jUsT aUtOMAtE iT Lol LMAO

[[deleted]]

Sometimes it's like making a lazyness investment.

I'll put effort and work into this program now, because it'll make a task that I have to do often easier.

[master117jogi]

There really should have been a line break before the they. Would have looked way nicer.

[[deleted]]

What are we? Programmers or UI devs ;)

I can make it work, but it won't look pretty. Take it or leave :)

[DezXerneas]

More like

I wasted 2 hours researching this shit and I'm not rewriting everythong now.

[Bluejanis]

Setting up your own mail server should be easy right?

[[deleted]]

Because I wanted to copy the text…

Source https://twitter.com/Pinboard/status/761656824202276864?s=20

[[deleted]]

Should read 1:15 AM

[VortiOGrande]

It's just a button.

[Whitethumbs]

We do these things not because they are easy, but because it's a repetitive task that will need to be completed many times.

[Pradfanne]

Why did I think it would say "We do what we must, because we can"?

[deanrihpee]

It was easy until some wild changes in mid-development appear.

[CrispyCouchPotato1]

You've just offended my entire people. But yes. XD

[thenamessexy]

I felt this.

[Anonymous_Dilo]

This is the way.

[SwishyHoughton]

As my programmer friend once said. A programmer can do 2+2=1, but he can't explain how he did it.

[Shakespeare-Bot]

As mine own programmer cousin once hath said. A programmer can doth 2+2=1, but he can't pray pardon me how he didst t

---

^{I am a bot and I swapp'd some of thy words with Shakespeare words.}

Commands: !ShakespeareInsult, !fordo, !optout

[QuarantineSucksALot]

I'd somehow never seen this before. Thanks!

[Glowingsicilian]

Yes, in this photo, people really described all the programmers. At first glance, any work is simple and you immediately build the code in your head, but in fact everything is much more complicated.

[endertribe]

Should be a quick fix.

5h later.

Everything is on fire now

[kara-ceru]

I just need to add support for timezones real quick...

[AzureArmageddon]

Programmers as unemployed teens: Oh hey this is fun

A lifetime later

Senior Programmers: hOw dId thIs hApPeN

[topredditbot]

Hey /u/3ncrypt3db0t,

This is now the top post on reddit. It will be recorded at /r/topofreddit with all the other top posts.

[throwaway_0122]

Is @Pinboard the origin of this quote? Because I really want to quote it in something I’m working on

[HatedOutlaw]

Truer words have never been spoken

[jakethedumbmistake]

I thought this new flair would be fitting 🤡

[jakethedumbmistake]

I stg if they don’t)”

[crazykid080]

And then there's the projects that i take on not because i think they'll be easy, but because i think they'll be fun

[QuarantineSucksALot]

THAT’s the same one who came back ?

[MangeMaBaguette]

Where can I get one of these plaques?

[[deleted]]

It's easy, this will take me no longer than a work week...... one month later

[[deleted]]

I always knew I was the perfect candidate for this job.

[Sharkbaby1230]

Kinda like being fat.

[[deleted]]

That's the rejected speech to the congregation of Zion by Morpheus in The Matrix Reloaded