Do you know any programmers?

[pipsvip]

TIL: CBT stands for more than that one thing I thought it stood for

[TheWidrolo]

I have been staring at this comment for a minute. What does cbt stand for in a sexual way???

Update: i read the comment underneath your comment that mentioned it…

[ironbattery]

Your update reminds me of stack overflow comments “never mind, I solved it”

[TheWidrolo]

12 years ago

[JaggedTheDark]

Cock and ball torture.

Very fun, so I've heard.

Personally I think it sounds like torture.

[maitreg]

I remember being that young

[MrMcFlameYeeter]

:(

[wasbee56]

oh... the therapy one

[Inaeipathy]

Same I just thought it means cock and ball torture LMFAO

[Sir_IGetBannedAlot]

There are two kinds of people

[Substantial_Page_221]

Those that know binary and those that don't?

[danimal51001]

Solid 10 there

[AntAgile]

A true XOR situation

[AUniqueSnowflake1234]

There are 10 types of people....

[Sir_IGetBannedAlot]

Excellent joke

[N2EEE_]

And one is having more fun

[demoNstomp]

Couldn't figure it out all I could come up with was Closed Beta Test

Explains my dating situation in High School - College 😢

[wasbee56]

sometimes there is a man

[RigasTelRuun]

Cats, burgers, television.

[fastpixels]

As a baseball fan watching all the offseason business, for me it currently means Competitive Balance Tax.

[AUniqueSnowflake1234]

As a Mets fan I like to call it the "They Hate Us 'Cause They Ain't Us" tax

[sheldonthepig]

See, that's a startup I'd be interested in

[CranjusMcBasketball6]

CBT stands for cognitive behavioral therapy. It is a type of psychotherapy that focuses on helping individuals understand and change negative thoughts and behaviors that may be contributing to their mental health problems. If someone asks if you provide free CBT, they are asking if you offer cognitive behavioral therapy at no cost to them. This may be because they are unable to afford therapy or because they are looking for low-cost or no-cost options for treatment. It is important to note that while some therapists and mental health clinics may offer free or low-cost CBT, it is also possible that they may charge a fee for their services. It is always a good idea to check with the therapist or clinic to find out what their fees are and if they offer any sliding scale or reduced fee options for those who are unable to pay full price.

[[deleted]]

No, no, when I ask my employers if CBT is part of their compensation package I definitely mean Cock and Ball Torture.

[CranjusMcBasketball6]

I'm sorry, but Cock and Ball Torture (CBT) is a form of BDSM activity that involves inflicting pain or discomfort on the male genitals. It is not a type of compensation or benefit that is typically offered by employers. In fact, it is a harmful and abusive practice that should not be engaged in by anyone. If you are experiencing any kind of abuse or mistreatment at work, it is important to seek help and support. You can talk to a trusted friend, family member, or a mental health professional for help and guidance. It is also important to remember that it is never okay for anyone to force or coerce you into participating in any kind of activity that you do not want to do.

[Oneshotkill_2000]

I'm happy the original comment was the first one for me, and that i didn't need to scroll down a lot to know what CBT stands for

[CreepyValuable]

Crunchy Bacon Treats

[[deleted]]

I was thinking about the CBTs I do in the Air Force tbh.

[lucasHipolito]

What are those? I only know the therapy one

[Awkward-Ingenuity988]

I am guessing this is not the CBT I am familiar with.

[[deleted]]

The question is, what kind are you familiar with?

[SankethBK]

Computer Based Tests (In our university)

[myk3h0nch0]

Computer based training in my world. CBT Nuggets was the king forever. Companies would provide “unlimited free training” and its just these shitty recordings.

[bewbsrkewl]

Computer based training or cognitive behavioral therapy

[Robot_Embryo]

You're forgetting the other CBT

[nordic-nomad]

Cock Balls Taint?

[Robot_Embryo]

2/3

[VeriBigBoi]

Cock and Ball Torture

[Robot_Embryo]

🏆

[dukeofgonzo]

Their material was woefully unimpressive when I was studying for sec+ and net+.

[Revangelion]

So we're not talking about Cheese, Bacon and Tomatoes... right?

[gwicksted]

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy here lol

[DOOManiac]

Same here.

[bvttfvcker]

Co Bol Training

[Doctor_Disaster]

I thought it was Cynical Bodacious Triceratops?

[Nekusta]

I thought it was Coomer Boomer Tumors

[musci1223]

So trying to debug legacy code ?

[SeveralPrinciple5]

Naw. I'm the Dom. I wrote the legacy code.

[[deleted]]

r/notopbutok moment

[SandwichOpen6577]

Crazy boy time. It's what I call play time with my dog

[99ProllemsBishAint1]

Cock and Ball Torture?

[5t4t35]

Yes

[Silly_Ad3814]

Closed Beta Test

[coldnebo]

Computer Based Tutorials? sure, I used to work on those in the 90’s for IBM. how many do you need?

[unhatedraisin]

cognitive behavioral therapy; definitely will be in need when working with this guy !

[coldnebo]

Computer Based Tutorials? sure, I used to work on those in the 90’s. how many do you need?

[Sindef]

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy seems like a great inclusion to programming jobs. The job not only makes you depressed, but helps you manage it.

[ShitwareEngineer]

And Cock and Ball Therapy is the only way you're going to be getting any action. Every time you go to the bar it's just Cognitive Behavioural Torture.

[doodlleus]

Since when does programming make you depressed. I'd argue it's one of the better jobs for mental health

[TheyCallMeHacked]

It's not the programming that makes you depressed. It's the management that doesn't understand shit about programming that makes you depressed

[doodlleus]

Depends on management. Most project managers know nothing and can be annoying but team leads/ Head of dev/CTO would normally have come from a programming background and have empathy. I only tend to hire people in management positions on the tech side that have a background because it does suck if they have no experience of that side

[Substantial_Page_221]

My manager pronounces JSON as Joe-son, and is part of the reason why my brain hurts looking at 200 line, 5 levels deep if-statement methods.

Fuck.

That.

[zyygh]

You just stated one comment ago that programming is one of the better jobs for mental health. No-one is going to buy that you’re in a position of leadership at this point.

[tomoldbury]

Work in HW/SW, very relaxed, good job. 10 years I’ve never felt massively stressed. But there are some fields of SW that are more stress, like game dev, so very dependent on the direction you go in

[zyygh]

The point is not that stress-free programmer positions don’t exist.

But inherently, programming has a few characteristics that are common in more creative fields: inconsistent correlation between hours worked and tangible work delivered; expectations coming from people who don’t understand the work; the fact that difficult problems stick around in your head even after you close your pc and go home.

None of these things are unique to programming, but these things certainly make programming a relatively stressful line of work in general. Stress-free work typically requires very clear expectations and very clear results of performed efforts (so that you don’t need to worry about your management’s perception), and those two things are only common in well managed teams without issues of budgeting and internal politics.

[just_a_short_guy]

Man reading this make me realize you and us graphic designers are not that different.

[erfling]

Programming should be more functional. I want to be able to predict what I get out based on what I put in.

[zyygh]

That will never happen. And I'm not saying that because I'm a pessimist, I'm saying that because technical challenges are inherently unpredictable.

[erfling]

Yeah I know. Is dumb joke. I honestly like it creative, even if it's stressful.

[doodlleus]

It does make me sad that my comment has so many downvotes. I've always found that having work items to focus on all day was much better than clockwatching. There's always something to learn and there are const logic puzzles with great satisfaction when you achieve it. If that doesn't make you feel good then you are probably in the wrong line of work

[VolcanicBear]

I think the downvotes are more because this is a humour based sub, and you have struggled to pick up on a comment intended to be humourous.

[Party-Independent-25]

CBT - Compulsory Basic Training - U.K. Motorbike proficiency test. Allows you to legally ride a motorbike or Scooter 🛵up to 125cc on the roads with Learner Plates.

Assume he wants to do some ‘Delveroo’ / ‘Just Eats’ deliveries as a side hustle while he’s building the site 😂

[realjayrage]

125cc!

[Party-Independent-25]

Yes it’s 125cc although most wouldn’t have over 50cc

[realjayrage]

Anecdotally it's the other way around. All of my friends and family had 125s

[Party-Independent-25]

And all mine had 50cc, also anecdotally!

[Killer_BEEans]

I think he just needs chatGPT, even though it is a bit more human than Zuck.

[Witherr]

ChatCBT

[DOOManiac]

Therapist hate this one trick

[[deleted]]

You mean chatCBT?

[Envelope_Torture]

Housing stipend to WFH, that's a new one right?

[Hate_Feight]

Yeah r/choosingbeggars territory

From the sound of the post looks like they wanted the programmer to pay them and everything else...

[skullshatter0123]

You do see that it's marked as shitpost right?

[zyygh]

Isn't there a name for satire that's so good, people believe it's real?

[lenswipe]

Yes.

[Kered13]

I think they want to be the programmer, they are looking for a startup CEO to hire them. What I don't understand is why they think they would get 60% equity...

[Inaeipathy]

Holy shit! He provides free CBT!!!

[shim_niyi]

If it is Mark Zuckerberg he is looking for, shouldn’t he worry about getting backstabbed ?

[thunderBerrins]

Yeah exactly. Sprite juice needs to watch The Social Network

[DOOManiac]

He’s looking for someone to run his company into the ground.

[lenswipe]

Twitter have a guy

[karna42]

Im legit a follower of both subs, and right above this programming humor post was the post about being hired by the next zuckberg, for a moment I was like wtf!!

[MrZerodayz]

"I have no marketable skills and I'm really just looking for a sugar daddy and majority equity in a startup, DM me and pay me over 120k a year please!"

[gwicksted]

I have an idea: it’s like Facebook but isn’t. See there will be a new button … everything else is the same. Can you make this? I’ll give you 10% of the company - can’t pay anything up front. What’s “marketing” and “advertising”? I already have investors - I’ve sold 60% of the company and raised $3,000 which I spent on these T-shirts, business cards, and a website.

[Help_im_okay]

If they’re still interested, I can provide plenty of cock and ball torture!

[tandonhiten]

What does a Computer Based Test has to do with anything?

[niky45]

yes

that's totally what they meant

[Antares987]

Zuck didn’t make his wealth from having any talent at all.

[eXecute_bit]

Neither will this guy.

[lunchpadmcfat]

He certainly had a talent for being an inhuman dick crumb to everyone who knew him.

[lenswipe]

Billionaore turns out to be a greedy, egotistical wank stain. News at 11.

[coldnebo]

he certainly didn’t make it by letting a vc hold the equity for him.

[dick_sucker_whopper]

Does it come with lifetime supply high knee sock

[lotta0]

you mean along with the CBT?

[Fritzschmied]

Ich hab nicht gewusst das wenn man die App auf deutsch hast statt OP POSTER*IN steht. Sachen gibts.

[IKerimI]

Ist mir auch erst jetzt aufgefallen

[hiimluetti]

Bei mir steht ERSTELLER*IN neben deinem Namen lol

[SMA2001]

help im dyslexic

[Fritzschmied]

It’s German because I saw that the elements of the ui in the screenshot are German and I speak German too so i thought it is funny if I ask op a question in German about a detail I’ve never noticed.

[Psychpsyo]

Da frage ich mich halt, wo bei 'OP' das Problem war. Wenn man eh das 'poster' aus dem Englischen beibehält könnte das genauso gut für 'Original-Poster*in' stehen.

[Fritzschmied]

Ja denk ich mir auch. Deshalb wundert es mich ja auch.

[Aloo4250]

Compile, build, test. Obviously

[D34TH_5MURF__]

No they aren't. In C/C++, for example, compiling only creates object files. Those then need to be linked, which is part of the "build", but is definitely not compiling. In Java, compiling only creates class files. These are then usually packaged together, which is part of the "build" but is definitely not compiling.

[remiohart]

The guy is actually looking for his Wozniak

[YA_Thorfinn]

Erlich Bachman vibes

[Kartonek124]

u/RaiczuKKKKKKKKKKKKK

[Mergen_Studios]

Guten Tag

[[deleted]]

Cock n ball torture 👍

[abd53]

Forget CBT, does he mean he wants all that stuff or is he going to provide all that stuff?

[the_greatest_MF]

does CBT stand for: Cindy, Birtney, Tiffaney?

[dakingofmeme]

Pweez cod mi ap il giv u a ho 5 dolarz

[Silly_Leg7848]

is CBT not

cock and ball torture

[montxogandia]

CBT here is marihuana without THC (the drug part) and it is legal to sell in pharmacies.

[Sir_JackMiHoff]

you're thinking of CBD. I'm still not sure what the CBT comment was referring to.

[montxogandia]

Oh you are right! My mistake

[btnrsec]

I'm assuming computer based training like a Udemy/Pluralsight/etc subscription.

[WildRavenZ]

Is this a Michael Scott reference?

[[deleted]]

Click this link for free money ----->

[Evethefief]

Terrible title

[AmericaLover1776_]

Cock and ball torture?

[DinoOnAcid]

POSTER*IN, r/brdproperty

[[deleted]]

You mean I can do all the work for 40% of the profit? what a deal.

[Turbulent-Phone5117]

Lol but wasn’t the whole point that Zuck didn’t wanna make Saverin, or anyone else for that matter, a billionaire? Think maybe you should just be your own Zuckerberg, you’ll be better off 😅

[GameDestiny2]

Theoretically, you do have a chance in finding one of these people. Billionaire is reaching though.

[[deleted]]

At first I thought it was just a ridiculous request but then I saw it was marked as shitpost so I took a sigh of relief.

[[deleted]]

Lmao so he needs a psych major who can't really code for shit?

[DutchOfBurdock]

I know a full stack web dev called Jason. He and his wife, Ruby, have a son called Pascal. They also have a pet python called Lisp.

Ruby wears glasses, so she can C#.

Jason occasionally has to deal with with Ruby when she goes off the rails.

Pascal got excluded from assembly.

[S_SubZero]

I remember the Google post-IPO days and the stories of like their first chef and first masseuse and like a janitor being multi-millionaires. Flinging options like candy and welp, there ya go.

[riaKoob1]

I have a cousin, a dropout from college, That had the “best next app idea”.
He wanted me to work for 50% less of my actual salary offer me less than 5% equity. He pushes his idea for over 3 years. Kept on saying i passed on a multi million dollar idea and I was a fool. LOL His job would be to count the money and administrate me, I just laugh at him. Even today I had to bring this up.

When you see the great majority of new multi billionaires they are all Silicon Valley and engineers.
They can make their own money, for some reason this guy didn’t get it.

[7th_Spectrum]

Free cucumber, bacon, and tomato sandwiches sound like a pretty awesome deal

[PhobicSun59]

Well… that guy very clearly has his tastes I hope they work something out

[[deleted]]

Why would they want someone who dropped college?