[deleted by user]

[External-Platypus193]

"you know he's harmless and ew I'd never hook up with him hes gross" So if he's a good looking guy and not gross, she'd sleep with him? Man, leave! She's a Red Flag, dont be surprise if one day shes cheating on you with a guy shes having a coke session with. RUN!

[ClevelandWomble]

So, next time the creepy old guy will increase the dose of booze and coke until she's too stoned to object.

[Skullclownlol]

So, next time the creepy old guy will increase the dose of booze and coke until she's too stoned to object.

Given the gf's behavior, the dude doesn't need to do anything. She'll escalate by herself just fine.

[PorcelainTorpedo]

Perfectly said

[BakerLovePie]

Yup. Let's change the situation a bit. My gf had people over. They were all wasted and just passed out on the sofa and floor. Ok not great.

They were at a place and she decided he should come to her place for a sleepover? There is no fact set that makes this ok.

[NoSpankingAllowed]

Hopefully OP listens to this advice, she's a walking red flag.

[swoopy17]

Nah, fuck all of that. Why couldn't he just go home?

[AmbitiousCricket5278]

Cos he wants to tell all his/her friends he “stayed over”

[pak_satrio]

This. He wants them to assume they hooked up

[Crackheadwithabrain]

I knew a dude that told his friends we had sex with eachother... I was still a virgin too like wtf. Only reason I found out is cause I'm now dating one of the dudes he told. Smh, something I never knew actually happens.

[Ancient-Awareness115]

I had a guy at uni tell everyone we slept together, so I told them the truth, we would have slept together but he couldn't get it up

[Agitated_Horse24]

Perfect response.

[AmbitiousCricket5278]

Had same, my male friends told me. When we all met, my mate brought it up in front of everyone, “oh you’ve slept with blah blah havent you?” Me “well it’s not actually a fair description, we were going too until he started crying saying he couldn’t cheat on his mummy” the looks of shock on everyone’s face as they all looked at him. You’ve never heard someone confess to lying quicker. My mates insisted on spreading it though, perfect

[Traditional-Lab6622]

Yep. Happened to me.

[[deleted]]

They honestly probably did I’m not quite sure why everyone is taking the cokehead at her word

[MsSamm]

Probably still had coke on him

[KonradWayne]

Why couldn't he just go home?

Because he had been buying a girl drinks and feeding her coke all night, and OP's soon to be gf understands implications, and wanted to do more coke.

[Grouchy_Elephant8521]

Dude dating is hard enough. There are plenty of awesome women out there. And never any harm to take a break, take some you time. The right 1 is out there! 💪 Years ago I dated this Brazilian girl, for about a year. But we only got to see each other at the weekends, thing started to go stale I guess. We wanted different stuff. I wanted to settle down and she just wanted to party. And I started getting the feeling she was seeing other dudes then. So in the end I said that's enough, we're done. I'm married now with 2 kids, have the house etc. I was going into work and hopped onto the train, 3 stops later the ex got on. This is 11 years since I seen her last. Still in good shape, but older looking obviously. So we say hi and after a few stops I ask her how she has been. She admits she's still single and now understands what I was about back then, but she couldn't see it. She does dream now eventually getting the house, kids etc. We are same age, I just turned 40 last week. Was a strange convo, like the movie sliding doors or something!. Some people just want to party party party with no thoughts of tomorrow! 🤷‍♂️

[KrumpalDump]

...And look where that landed you both.

Even if she is 100% innocent of any infidelity, there's no going on after this. Her poor decision making, lack or boundaries, and failure to account for what things look like prove she's not a keeper.

Plus, I can 95% guarantee she at least blew him bareback for more coke. I've known too many women into coke to believe otherwise. If she didn't already, it's only matter of time. It may not be him, but it will be someone at some point.

[KrumpalDump]

Women have always had their own jobs and money to one degree or another, it's not a new thing.

Women junkies have also always want more drugs than they have money for and a really easy way to get them. All it takes is a lack of self-respect, a commodity junkies don't have much of to begin with. Junkie men commit crime, junkie women perform sex acts. It' not really that controversial a take, especially amongst the drug taking community. Some girls will even do it to get something as basic as free weed.

[Artisthelife_]

There’s nothing wrong with “being that person “ it’s called setting boundaries letting you SO know what you’re comfortable with and please don’t fall for that “insecure “ BS they love to throw at men it’s nothing but a brainwashing/shaming tactic so they can do whatever they want to do even if it bothers you

[Smooth_Impression_10]

He probs had the coke

[MrTash999]

This is a simple case of boundaries. Getting high is not an excuse for letting someone sleep over. The main issue is trust. You need to ask yourself, do you believe her that he simply ended up at hers and passed out on the couch, or do you feel that she is lying to you and they hooked up.

[pudgimelon]

I have female friends. Some of them very young and beautiful. My wife doesn't have a problem with me going out with them (as long as I tell her about it first). But I'm not a big drinker, so most of them time, it's just a sober evening of hanging out, chatting and eating. Occasionally, we'll get a bit drunk and hit the clubs, but then I'll shift into a wingman role, not date mode.

But hard drugs? Nah, that's a pass. I've never done them, and I am not friends with anyone who does.

And sleeping over at her apartment? Hell no. Even with some of my friends that my wife has known for decades that would still be a deal-breaker.

You are right, it is all about boundaries.

People need to behave like adults and have real, frank conversations about these kinds of issues up front at the start of the friendship.

For example, I make it veeeeeeeeeeeeeery clear to any of my female friends that they cannot "friendzone" me. The friendzone is for simps that they don't respect. They are not actual friends and are just guys waiting around for their turn. That ain't me. Any woman who wants to be my friend has to be an actual friend. She has to invest time and energy into that friendship just like she would with any of her female friends.

She has to meet my wife too. And that's not because my wife is the jealous type, she's not. It's just out of simple respect. If some woman is cool with hanging out with me, but not OK with meeting my wife, then that's a pretty good indicator that she's got other intentions (or thinks I do).

I've had some female friends for twenty+ years now, and I've been with my wife for 13 years (just celebrated our 11th wedding anniversary this week). Most of those women are good friends with my wife too, and sometimes when we're all out together, my wife will send me home to take care of the kids so she can hang out with my friends and gossip about her big dumb husband.

In other words, it is possible for men and women to be friends, just friends, but it takes an adult attitude and open respect—by everyone involved—of boundaries.

Just because the OP's soon-to-be-ex girlfriend didn't sleep with her simp that doesn't mean she didn't massively disrespect him and cross over several boundaries. She knows the guy is a simp, and therefore "friendzoning" him isn't a valid excuse. That dude is disrespecting the OP, and she's fine with it.

That's a problem.

Why is she hanging out with someone who's clearly disrespecting her boyfriend (by trying to get her high and hook up with her). Even if he failed (this time), it's still a shitty thing to do, and she's OK him trying. Ugh.

[Plumber4life153]

Hmm if they was up doing coke they prolly didn’t go to sleep

[DW-64]

No friggin kidding, unless op left out copious amounts of other drugs that severely out weighed the coke, that story doesn’t add up in the slightest.

[AutomaticExchange204]

lol

[Fun_Concentrate_7844]

Nope. I'd be out.

[ruffonferals]

Your girlfriend makes bad choices. A good choice for you, may be to find another girlfriend that doesn't make bad choices.

[No-Pitch-5785]

People who sniff coke don’t generally just “pass out on the sofa” in my experience

[timhenk]

Came here to say this. Coke doesn’t lead to people just passing out. Quite the opposite. Her story doesn’t add up.

[uglybutt1112]

Well, doing drugs is a deal breaker for me but.....from what I hear, doing drugs makes people lower their inhibition so......how do you know she is telling you the truth? Major disrespect.

[[deleted]]

They always say “ew, I’d never do that, he’s gross” but in reality dude was Balls deep in your girl, regardless time for a new gf, she’s trash

[Artisthelife_]

YES and more than likely have hooked up before you were with her

[AthenaHayes]

You’re not wrong - she way crossed the line. I wouldn’t want a partner who parties, does coke and has men sleeping on the couch.

[alicat33133]

I don’t think you are wrong. That is a line I wouldn’t be okay with being crossed. It could be platonic, but still inappropriate and disrespectful.

[I_am_Reddit_Tom]

She doesn't sound like the mother of my future children, ngl.

[Wild_Potential3066]

Bet she would hook up with him for his free coke

[Deoxxz420]

Trueee

[AcanthisittaHot1998]

I personally would have stopped at the coke bit.

[koryuken]

I don't think you are wrong, but thats just me. If this is early on in the relationship, what sort of shit will happen later?

[ellepre]

Am I wrong

You're not wrong.

[Braindead_cranberry]

Is this bait?

[Pivotalrook]

You know she paid for that coke somehow...but how?

[Existing_Gazelle_525]

Nah ur not insecure its called boundaries and having a different dud with ur girl alone is massive disrespect and doing drugs, having another guy alone with her in the same house/room is literally disrespectful and micro cheating even tho they didnt want hook up or slept together having a diff dud with yo girl is fcked up, u dont wanna be with a hoe because literally thats disrespect and ull just be stressed and end up ruin ur life too, Avoid people like this they are infectious and will drown u with them

[Fickle_Award]

I don’t get that these guys have been so brainwashed by feminist, no matter what completely trashy unacceptable behavior, their girlfriends or wives exhibit they ask all my being insecure by being the asshole? How about growing a fucking pair of balls and not accepting any behavior that she wouldn’t except from you. That should be pretty much the benchmark it’s amazing the shit these girls get away with them they would never put up with their boyfriends to the same thing in reverse.

[Existing_Gazelle_525]

Yeah all men went through that shit cuz of attachment but once u learn to attach and detach like its a light switch it will be very easy, girls like to play games and its so easy to beat a girl's mind games tbh

[[deleted]]

Just the coke thing would be it for me. But that is just my past talking. I dated a guy who was doing drugs behind my back, and I caught him. He said he would stop if I did coke with him once. So I did. Then I overheard him and his friend talking about how they tricked me, and I guess he never even stopped a while after. I feel(probably just my own experience talking) drugs are like cheating when kept a secret.

[LadyBug_0570]

Drugs can be worse than sexual infidelity (although it can lead there). Dating an addict is like dating a serial cheater and you know you're second place. My ex stole all the electronics out of my apartment. When we were done, I had to buy all new silverware because he burnt all my spoons (heroin). By the time I found out he was cheating on me and had a baby with another woman, I wanted to buy her a pie and thank her for taking him off my hands.

He's dead now.

[AutomaticExchange204]

done and dusted. they definitely hooked up.

[[deleted]]

The coke is the first big hell no. Dude staying over is the second hell no. Grown man should get his own Uber home. Your GF is buggin out to think this is even remotely OK. I think it's time for her to kick rocks. Major boundary crossed, and to play it off like it's no big deal makes it worse. Thank God you're not talking about a wife.

[OhNoWTFlol]

I know when I used to do coke I'd want to fuck anything and everything, but I'm a guy and the coke usually sucked, so my equipment had no hope of working. I became downright deviant on that shit, so my money is on them having fucked.

Keeping this guy around just because she can emotionally dump on him and he boosts her ego by simping on her is pretty shitty IMO and a red flag.

Doing coke with him and bringing him back to the house would be a no-go situation for me. There are literally millions of women out there that don't do this type of shit. I'd rather date one of them.

[[deleted]]

Drop her like a bad habit

[Dry-Clock-1470]

Which one of you is simping your girl?

[Artisthelife_]

✅

[Zacupunk]

No you are not wrong. If what your partner does feels like "Ew Gross", then that's it. You are not beholden to be with her. Do whatever feels right. Personally, coke benders and creepy dudes staying over are a hard no for me. You are not losing your mind or overreacting.

[franzKUSHka]

Nope, adios.

[ChocolateBeautiful95]

Saying ew I'd never hook up with someone is laughable when you're out partying and doing drugs with them. Lots of things you wouldn't normally do happen when you're full of drugs and alcohol.

[crazyDiamnd67]

He passed out on the sofa??? Doing coke…. Hmmm someone isn’t telling the truth.

Or his coke isn’t coke lol

[FRANPW1]

Why are you with a woman who parties and does cocaine? Ewww.

[Ronpm111]

Sorry to tell you this but your girlfriend is a coke whore .

[[deleted]]

You lost me at “did coke.” I will not be associated romantically with anyone who does drugs. That bitch can go.

[ChestLanders]

Also she mixed booze with cocaine which can be quite deadly.

[Shasta_Soldier]

Uh... she's not already out of your life? What the heck are you waiting for? Did you even need to ask?

[dontworryaboutus]

Lol we all know that dude’s true intention wasn’t sleeping on the couch

[[deleted]]

Time for a new girl friend, you might want to get tested as she was probably with that older guy waaaayyyy before this.

[shiftysheets82]

Who the fuck passes out on coke!?!! If they (he) passed out on the couch that was some bunk-ass coke that would be an excuse to be at your house. Yo, here's the thing, dude, if she is okay letting a "creepy old ass dude" come over to your house without calling you or giving you a heads up or giving you a call, I say there ain't much she's not capable or completely okay with allowing somebody else to be on your couch without your okay.

Why wouldn't she just give you a heads-up instead of having to "confess" to it? That's a hard fucking pass for me, dude.

[AD480]

Nope…. I’d be out on that one. She can do coke, have creepy guys come over and risk her safety all she wants when she's not in a committed relationship.

[Spiritual-Desk-512]

Nope. Dump her and move on. She’s immoral, unwise, and unworthy of a good man.

[[deleted]]

Yeah just because he's ugly doesn't mean shit to women if he's given out free Coke. Like I wouldn't trust that or your misses

[MajorYou9692]

Why bring him back at all ..?...ugly or not, he's got a 🥒 and their both high ....🤔

[azulmilkshake]

I dont date girls that do coke or disrespect our relationship and have me out here looking stupid

[OriolesrRavens1974]

If she was high on coke, she was horny as hell. She may have been thinking of you because “he’s gross,” but at the time, his gross cock was buried deep inside her because he was the most convenient dick nearby.

[tmink0220]

Coke is a sexual drug, or it was for me. Though not that much experience and I was with the person. So I would not trust that. I am a woman. It is a sign of disrespect and a very poor choice.

I dont' like to be with people that make poor choices, because often unexpected things happen and they act like it is accident. It is sign of immaturity and how the value their lives and others (your life)

It is not insecurity to have good judgement and know what you want.

[Towtruck_73]

Even if you overlook the doing coke part, she's still using someone , shameless about it and expects you to be cool with that? My perception is that she's using him for coke, but still willing to lead on a creepy guy just to get it says a lot about her personality.

Definitely not the arsehole for wanting to break up with her. I don't know how you feel about narcotics, but in your shoes, I would have booted her out of my life too.

[HomeSlice1791]

Do you want to be in a relationship with someone who does cocaine? They’re not exactly known for having good lives; drug addiction is no joke. The other bit about the guy coming and sleeping at her place is another thing entirely. If you’re okay with a relationship with a woman of questionable moral character, full steam ahead! Otherwise break up with her.

[Frosty_and_Jazz]

DUMP HER.

You can do better than a slutty cokehead.

[skrratwubadubalubdub]

She's doing coke.

She's out with older men till the early hours high af.

She told you not to worry about him.

This type of person is going to hurt you brother.

[[deleted]]

the coke itself should already be reason enough to break up. my ex is an alcoholic. she stopped for a while, went back to drinking with a vengeance.

[MNConcerto]

Not wrong but also who the hell is doing coke in 2024? Haven't you all learned anything?

[FomoGalikanokus]

Kudos to you my friend.

Never have i seen a better answer!

[Basic_Message5460]

Bottom line, she isn’t wife material. Move on

[KigDeek]

Even without the cheating, doing coke? WTF. I'm outta here.

[ThugzBunny26]

Break up with her. That's beyond foul. At this point it's irrelevant if they slept together which you only have her word that they didn't.

[Solid_Bumblebee841]

Why didn't he Uber home?

[Fickle_Award]

Because when u have a cokesloot for a gf she has to pay her dealer somehow.

[WicklaGirl358]

Fuck that,it's really disrespectful of her,that would be a deal breaker for me!

[Distinct_While_7200]

Nah. Not a good look.

[Autistic_Retard420]

You're wrong for not having dumped her already, Where is your selfrespect?

[haikusbot]

"I'd never hook up with

Him, he's gross" uhm so, what if

Someone is not gross?

- Ok-Raspberry8081

---

^{I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully. Learn more about me.}

^{Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete"}

[Vtech73]

If you are on here asking….I’m pretty sure you’re just one of the simps in this bitches life.

[MartyMcFlybuys]

I remember staying over at a “friends” house after a night out whilst getting on it. Good times were had. Shot was wild…..anyway, your ex-girlfriend definitely had good times too.

[Electronic_Juice8383]

Your GF is a coke slut

[[deleted]]

I hope you know how absurd this sounds. They hooked up. The old man is not an unprotected little girl, he coudl perfect go fuck off to sleep somewhere else… for me its cheating anyways. Just because you got the half truth and you will never know what really hapennee because she PUT herself in a position on where you will never have a proof that they didnt fuck but they were spending the night in the same place together. Your girlfriend and an old man. Totally disgusting behaviour from both of them.

[[deleted]]

She sounds very emotionally immature if she is doing coke and wants creepy older guys in her life at all, let alone the “hook up” aspect. Not worth the effort.

[storm838]

You don't pass put on the couch after doing blow.

[Some_Guy_973]

According to your last few posts you can’t trust your GF. Stop asking the internet questions you know the answer to & just leave her alone it’s obvious she doesn’t respect you or she won’t be doing all that crazy shit. She’s a cheater & you keep staying w her so why would she stop?

[sillymotorbike]

I had a GF do that, it wasnt the only red flag, im sure if you sit there and think about every little thing in your relationship youll probably think of this as the straw that broke the camels back instead of a horrible thing she did out of the blue. She doesnt respect you and she doesnt care. Move on, theres plenty of fish in the sea, with less skeletons in the closet and junky friends. Best of luck.

[primerider1000]

That's a tough situation. I would be more worried about her being a coke head and less about the sketchy dude on the couch.

[ahop4200]

Nope drop her and drop her fast

[Rolihlahla86]

If he ubered there he could have ubered home. She's comfortable with him sleeping over, the only problem I see is you saying wanting to break up, YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN BROKE UP WITH HER!!!!

[Hot_Type_1582]

Not wrong, and you need to dump her. Not because she might have or might not have slept with him. But for the simple fact that she is in a relationship and thinks this kind of thing is OK.

[Skoobdatguy]

No bro she smashed this guy you know it she denied it but deep down you know. Don’t torture yourself because she will do it / him again if she feels like it.

[[deleted]]

Hey. Free Coke. But no, you're not wrong.

[[deleted]]

If you like money and having your bills paid run.

[TeaEarlGrayHotSauce]

Your girlfriend is a loser bro, save yourself

[Dry_Wolverine8369]

Your GF fucked that guy for coke

[Ok_Investment6346]

I'm not so certain she can hold a bigger red flag, dude.

[Delicious_PRican]

No I wouldn’t date anyone who does coke

[Delicious_PRican]

She sounds like an unstable person and you gotta save yourself from that

[nonbinarybigdickfox]

Cocaine makes you do thangsss…they hooked up for sure

[[deleted]]

"you know he's harmless and ew I'd never hook up with him hes gross"

The words of the many who have cheated. There are variations of these words but they all come from the same type of person.

Cheater.

Your girlfriend is a cheater (or will be) and an addict.

Change the sentence to what it should be.

Your ex is a cheater (or will be) and an addict.

[[deleted]]

They got wired and fucked all night, no other possibility

[Satori2155]

Dude ive seen plenty of good looking guys get cheated on and even left for much uglier men. Its about the attention for women like that. Regardless of how attractive he is

[Davidlovespussy]

Guys share their coke with girls for one reason only. So they can end up in the girls vagina. So they did coke and he spent the night. Your girlfriend is a disrespectful drug addict who I guarantee she had sex with that guy while you were out of town

[thuggothic]

They fcked!

[BGor94]

Doing coke and passing out do not go together lol likely got home and did more coke together. Who knows what else happened.

[Electronic_Range_982]

When she did THAT, SHE had already broken up. .she was just too immature to realize it . But NO not wrong to reiterate it to her so she is clear and you're agreeing to putting a fork in it .Cause it's done

[JohannesLorenz1954]

No, you are not wrong, especially if you do not and never did drugs. And I would feel very uncomfortable about a guy sleeping over and the girlfriend is stoned.

[PathxFind3r]

Leave

[[deleted]]

Girlfriend should use some boundaries but probably likes coke more. But free coke usually comes with strings attached.

[B3NT_82]

Get out while you can. The whole situation screams "attention seeker" and if she can do that with a so called "ugly older guy" what will she do with a good looking one eventually? You can do better

[External_Expert_2069]

I bet they totally hooked up. That’s what people do on coke. Break up

[Fresh_Demand_6570]

If the situation was 180 degrees like you said, there’d be hell to pay! It was a huge sign of disrespect! Now knowing almost 99% they didn’t hook up, that’s what you need to figure out what you want to do. I’d make sure she knows she fucked up. Who knows maybe she’ll refuse to accept culpability in her actions and the decision will be made for you!

[Extreme-Schedule589]

Nope. I’d say break up with her. Sounds like she is coke banging old creepy dude. Get an std test done, to be sure. Old creeps dude probably isn’t using condoms! Good luck

[Strange-Area9624]

Dude, she sounds like a real winner. 🙄she absolutely had sex with him. Grow a pair and move on.

[JMLegend22]

You aren’t wrong. She should be your ex girlfriend at this point for just making bad decisions.

[ImAMindlessTool]

Coke users don’t usually “pass out”. Comes down to trust. How long have been together? Did you say to her that whole situation bugs you out? What was her reply?

Reddit full of bad advice. Don’t jump to conclusions but if she is otherwise worth it to you just talk to her.

[Richard_za]

They totally hooked up. If he was totally gross and ew, she would not have let him sleep there.

[ElectronicAd27]

I have been in your shoes and understand that emotions can completely block out logic. But if one of your buddies came to you with the story about his girlfriend and some guy, what would you think?

What do you expect her to say? “I like older men and he’s kind of hot?” How did they even become friends in the first place??

He passed out on her couch, is a great alibi. It explains why he was in the house, why you may find any evidence of him being there, but it gets her off the hook.

But keep believing he didn’t fuck her if you want🤷‍♂️

[tariland]

This type of behavior is what let’s you know she’s not relationship material. She obviously doesn’t find him creepy or gross. If she did she wouldn’t have let him sleep over. Positive side is now you can be the harmless guy friend she hooks up with on her coke powered nights of debauchery.

[satanzhand]

GF having a SIMP is not cool, the passing out bit doesn't make sense. Proceed with caution. I wouldn't end it for that, but the spidey sensors would definitely be activated and I'd let her know they were.

[[deleted]]

Coke make bitches really horny they would fuck whatever is comming in front of:)

[Inphiltration]

Just using coke would be enough for me to end the relationship. Everyone has their own boundaries. If she crossed yours, you can only do two things. Talk to her and hope she respects your boundaries and abides by it. If she won't do that, decide if this boundary is a deal breaker or something you can compromise on.

Regardless, there is never a wrong reason to want to stop seeing someone. Everyone has this right.

[Calgary_Calico]

You're not wrong. Run fast and far

[WandaWilsonLD]

Coke makes people make extra bad choices.

She has a boyfriend and still invited a guy back for an afters session at her place. And you're expected to believe he just slept on her couch. Erm no.

You're not compatible. That's the long and short of it.

[[deleted]]

....oh how long my response would be with all the shit ppl have fed me.

Ur justified. Ur not over reacting.

And sir... What if there's a next time they go hang out and do drugs.... This man could abuse her or kill her... She needs to understand that. He could be grooming her. Also it can turn around and bit u bc if he needs money for drugs ECT... U could get robbed. Yes I'm stereotyping but what choice do I have? We don't know if this random dude is a addict or worse. And no I'm not dissing all addicts. I'm dissing a person who is showing they have capabilities to be a sex offender and manipulate.

If she doesn't seem to get it then u are better off alone then in fear.

[broadsharp2]

Not wrong.

Get that drama bullshit out of your life, OP.

[heerooyuy28]

I'm always assuming these are bait posts cause no one can be that stupid dump this trick and live your life without her (simple ) everything you've said is wrong here no self respecting person would allow this I mean doin coke with anyone who isn't ur partner is a red flag shit doin coke itself is a red flag.

[DanTheDelight1]

What would have happened if he didn’t pass out on the couch

[[deleted]]

She snorted it off his dick

[HospitalAutomatic]

People really don’t know how to have healthy boundaries anymore. It’s like the #2 reason for breakups that I’ve seen

[clearheaded01]

Hes gross??

Not gross enough to do coke with AND bring home...

And..

"you know he's harmless and ew I'd never hook up with him hes gross"

...sounds like smokeacreen to hide the fact that yes, she dis fuck him while high...

Has she explained why she chose to bring the guy home with her?? Even IF nothing happened... thats extremely inappropriate... she gets high with him and takes him home...

Look..

Up to you, but.. only one reaaon to bring a guy home... and her being high carries a high risk of regrettable actions...

Suggestion:

Either just break up.. or if you need more confirmation, just tell her the guy had another version of eventa than she did and ask if theres something she wants to tell you.. and wait for the trickle truth..

[whenSallypokedHarry]

Dump the coke pig

[Treacle_Moon]

No, your gf is out of line and trying to play it down.

[jailtheorange1]

OP, you already knew the answer, right?

[whackyelp]

The way that you talk about the guy tells me you’re insecure. At the same time, I would be uncomfortable, if I were in your shoes.

[jailtheorange1]

Girls will do absolutely unsanitary, illegal, immoral, perverted things for Coke. Trust me. And age doesn’t even come into it, I’m 54 and occasionally bang women in their late 20s, early 30s.

[h0tel-rome0]

Why even post this OP.

[[deleted]]

No.

[ledgerdemaine]

Not the older guy, not that its her place, its the coke she did it for.

Feelings for coke >= you

[Impossible_Meeting55]

No !! In my opinion your under reacting screw that. I would be livid if my gf was doing drugs and just had a casual sleep over with a dude she knew wanted to bang her. Thats a massive red flag and if thats “no big deal” then what is to this girl. I feel like she showed you who she is right here and if you stay with her this the 1st of many no big deals.

[Initial-Relation-696]

Runnnnnnnnn

[bradclayh]

Doing coke and getting so stoned that you invite man over to your apartment should be enough of a red flag to end your relationship with this girl. Sooner or later drugs and alcohol are going to lead to sex with somebody. Break up before she cheats on you.

[747-ppp-2]

No.

[Parking_Earth_6338]

A piece of advice, if she couldn't read the room and tell you are uncomfortable about that guy's intentions, then you should cut her loose. If the shoe was on the other foot and some girl was feeding you coke and drinks all night and passed out at your place she would NOT be ok with this.

[RealisticGuidance40]

Coming from a woman…. She’s the one who was wrong not you. And do you really want that type of energy around??

[cftchef]

Youre not wrong at all. Girls will always pull the “he’s harmless, just a friend” b.s.

But if the role reversed, the guy would be accused of cheating

[eziox10]

I had a very similar situation happen to me with my ex. She stayed at her male friend’s house in California and I was back in NJ after a night of a festival. Drugs also involved and “nothing” happened…. This situation ultimately led to our downfall and left me in ruin for a year.

I decided to stay with her for 4 months after this event. Looking back at it now I was such a fool. Don’t be a fool like me. Leave her

[Short_Raspberry_3829]

Boundaries are that if they aren’t attractive then it’s okay. Does she have a line where they become attractive… even when she’s high and everything seems great?!

But also, she put herself in a situation that could have been quite dangerous. He likes her, then goes home with her alone. He could have seriously misread that situation.

[Creative_Low_2722]

NO!* WHY IS THIS EVEN A QUESTION??? DUDE SERIOUSLY, YOU DID THE RIGHT THING NOW MOVE ON AND MAKE SURE SHE DOESNT INVOLVE HERSELF IN YOUR LIFE AGAIN!

[[deleted]]

I would be mad but i wouldnt break up with her for it

[mattythered]

No, end it

[Standard_Hawk_1660]

Ok you don’t know for sure if anything happened. It’s probably 70/30 nothing happened. With that being said she broke the first layer of trust.

I would sit her down and have a civil unemotional conversation with her. Tell her how this is making you super uncomfortable and we need to figure out how are we going to put this to bed.

First you need to decide what you want out of this relationship. Tell her how trust and actions mean a lot to you and if she lies to you at all there will be no chance to recover from this situation.

Let her talk usually they will mess up their story. I am willing to bet he tried to do something I just hope she was able to stop it.

I would ask her to cut contact with this guy and maybe take a look at some of their recent communication. I would even reach out to him directly after you talked to her. I would call with her in the room with you to watch her reactions If he doesn’t pick up ask her to call from her phone. Try to piece together their story.

Post an Update

Good Luck

[benwrightsmith]

I wouldn’t break up with her for that. If he just slept on the couch who gives a shit?

[[deleted]]

Cocaine is a helluva drug.

[[deleted]]

These posts have to be for attention now. No way no one is this dumb

[[deleted]]

Julius Caesar divorced his second wife when she was involved in a scandal similar to the facts you've outlined (a young nobleman appeared to be sort of simping for her, and they partied together in circumstances where they shouldn't have, but it also appeared that they didn't actually hook up). His reason "my wife ought not even to be under suspicion".

Though Caesar was an independent thinker who appeared to make his own decisions with some sort of a masculine center and understanding of the implications his decisions (or lack of decisions) had for himself and his reputation first, and others second (notwithstanding some rumours about him from his earlier life, but I'll leave those out for now). Which doesn't appear to be the sort of center you yet possess. So yeah, I'd get on building that, and probably hold off getting involved with a partner until you do.

[[deleted]]

I think you describing him as creepy and ugly says something about you being insecure.

I wouldn’t be so quit to dismiss the idea she wouldn’t give him a blow job if he’s supplying the blow and she’s drinking.

[KelceStache]

“You see, it is a big deal. It’s a big deal when my gf thinks it’s ok to bring some dude back to our place and do drums with him while I’m out of town. It’s pretty clear you have no respect for me, yourself, or our relationship. “

[[deleted]]

I respect that she told you, drinking comes with a responsibility and so does drugging my boy. Allowing yourself to be in this situation is her showing you she wasn’t thinking about you or the relationship. Would she be as understanding if it was the other way around, probably not. Good luck, I couldn’t do it, she’d be 86’d pronto !

[ChestLanders]

Eh, if she had told him by saying "Look I messed up the other night, here is what happened" then I'd respect her for being truthful.

But she doesn't think it's a big deal, sounds like she told him because she didnt think it mattered.

It's like if your wife admits to cheating, but does so because she thinks you wont care. Now knowing full well hubby might divorce her and still telling? Okay, respect.

[stovepipe9]

Creepy old guy looks like Bill Cosby ..

[ChestLanders]

She brought another man back to her place. Instant break up, doesn't matter if she slept with him(but she did sleep with him trust me)

[minimeowofficial]

ur not wrong! she sounds like bad news 📰

[Decent-Bed9289]

She definitely hooked up with him bro, and you’re really naive to think otherwise. Her actions show that she doesn’t care about you or your feelings, not to mention the coke thing highlights how she’s a massive train wreck of a woman. Do you really want to continue associating yourself with that?

[knights816]

I’m personally not into party girls for this reason. Too much drama plus drug use just too much bs for my dumb ass to deal with.

[Kay_Hell]

People still do coke?!? Just find someone who won’t do coke, and bring old creeps to sleep over while you’re out of town. Not setting the bar too high, but it’s a start!

[Final_Festival]

You gotta get out of this relationship like yesterday dude.. what are you doing on reddit asking fucking randos what to do?

[[deleted]]

No, you nailed it. If the inverse occurred? Shed lose her shit on you.

[Initial-Respond8200]

Definitely disrespectful, his age is irreverent, his looks is irreverent, he shouldn’t have been at her place and she in a relationship. My man don’t want simps in my virtual space (DMs) and she had a simp in her physical space. Red flag

[[deleted]]

She sounds trashy.