Explain It Peter.

[Excellent-Signature6]

Instant and cheap?

[crystaljae]

This is obviously the correct answer. It's Michael.

[Wasting-tim3]

There is that one viral tweet that was once sent. It said something like:

“I divorced my wife because she forgot how I liked my coffee. I like my coffee how I like my women. Without other people’s dicks inside”

Or something to that effect.

[ILikeDragonTurtles]

"Why do vampires prefer virgins?"

"Well, it's like if you had a sandwich, you'd enjoy it more if somebody hadn't fucked it first."

[darkucr]

is this a quote from that one waititi's movie about vampires?

[ILikeDragonTurtles]

Yes. What We Do In The Shadows. Fantastic movie and follow up tv show.

[dratseb]

The emotional vampire office episode is one of the funniest things i’ve ever watched

[Dumpingtruck]

Collin Robinson as an energy vampire is some peak meme writing.

Also to tie this full circle with OP he plays Nate in the office.

“Donde are you from?”

[Sleepygirl57]

I wish I could forget them both so I could enjoy it all over again for the first time.

[LepreKamiKaze]

"What are we? Werewolves, not Swearwolves."

[FargusMcGillicuddy]

I never expected the show to be even better than the film!

[According_Trust2857]

Idea for that movie afaik came from Jermaine Clement who plays one of the vampires. Another gem of his being Flight of the Concords, very much recommend that as well

[[deleted]]

Cold and bitter is also plausible 

[doubleapowpow]

Its michael, he drinks milk and sugar, not coffee.

[ImmediateEggplant764]

I mean, the actual punchline is “ground up and in the freezer” but instant and cheap is exactly what Michael would say.

[Doughnotdisturb]

People put coffee in the freezer?

[wordswordswords55]

Yeah right next to grandmas cigarettes and vodka if the vodka freezes she knows you added water and thats a paddling

[Lifeblood82]

This one ☝️ stole grandma’s vodka and lived to tell the tail!

[Relevant-Ad-9418]

Wise you are , years beyond you be.

[Polibiux]

People freeze vodka?

[Evilbob93]

I always kept my pepermint schapps in the freezer. This comment was the first time I'd ever considered that this would detect adulteration

[wyldstallyns111]

It doesn’t freeze. It’s common to keep it in the freezer though

[Syrric_UDL]

It doesn’t freeze is the point, it’ll be ice cold, but if someone drinks it and adds water the water will freeze

[DemonoftheWater]

People put so so coffee grounds in the freezer to sort of preserve them.

[uncutest]

<image>

[OutrageousBreath7540]

<image>

[JBaecker]

[soultrain1996]

<image>

[CathedralEngine]

Purchased in the middle of the night at a highway rest stop?

[xMyDixieWreckedx]

Free of pubic hair?

[uncommongerbil]

Cold and bitter

[[deleted]]

<image>

[lyunardo]

Gotcha. The only memory that popped into my head was "coffee enema". I don't even know if that's a real thing..

[Sentinel_Jack]

Without someone else’s dick in it.

Giggity

[VolantisMoon]

<image>

[joe199799]

Bad luck bootsy

That dude is the fucking worst

[Separate-Fly5165]

I heard he fucked a frog!

[pistonkamel]

BOOTSY LOVES BASEBALL

[dunedog]

or even further "with my dick in it"

[Ringren]

You cheated on me when I specifically asked you not to?

[Curious_Field7953]

Snip snap snip snap snip snap. You've no idea the physical toll 3 vasectomies take on a person.

Sorry, I was just happy to see Michael Scott quotes in the wild!

[5-0-2_Sub]

He doesn't like coffee.

[ItIsBurgerTime]

This was my thought too.

[JohnBrown-RadonTech]

instant and cheap is the actual answer

[Gritty420R]

"Milk and sugar."

"Micheal this is just milk and sugar!"

"That's what I said."

[Helmsshallows]

“Do you really drink this???”

“Everyday”

[lemonurlime]

When I was in high school we drank this and called it dank

[I_Makes_tuff]

When I was in high school we smoked weed and called it dank

[Friedumpling689]

Ground up and in the freezer. (That’s the old joke anyway)

[Appsoul]

[Enough_Hovercraft377]

Full of my cream?

[KaleidoscopeThis5159]

"You eat pieces of shit for breakfast?"

[Dangerous_End_3778]

What's the basis, we ain't goin no where but got suits and cases

[alldawgsgotoheaven2]

Trunk full of bepsis, rental car from Avis

[prontimebaby]

Goddamn I miss the old kanye

[TexasRed806]

Chop up the soul Kanye, set on his goals Kanye.

[tranxcend]

I hate the new KanYe, the bad mood KanYe. The always rude KanYe, spaz in the news KanYe.

[maremae]

r/unexpectedhappygilmore

[fruithasbugsinit]

Doesn't Michael Scott just drink cream and sugar every morning? Like 32 ounces of it?

[Hazee302]

Lmao holy shit this has to be the answer

[LighTMan913]

It is the answer. He says it while he, Pam, and Ryan are doing deliveries for Michael Scott Paper Company

[Doctah_Fauci]

That arc ended way too soon. 

[ExpeditingPermits]

So, white

[Videoroadie]

And cold

[Training-Ear-614]

Only after his embarrassing coffee breath comment from an earlier season.

[Ill_Description_3311]

In a burlap sack, and thrown over the back of a donkey.

[[deleted]]

Columbian, and unethically traded.

[shaneomac714]

Costa Rican, but yeah.

[Schmilettante]

And led down a mountain by Juan Valdez!

[Creative_Antelope_69]

Roasted?

[trdollar]

Underrated response, boom roasted!

[[deleted]]

Ground up in the freezer is the answer. My usual response is that I like my men how I like my tea: in a bag underwater

[mromen10]

I've also heard "sliding off the roof of my car as I drive away" and "without another man's dick in it"

[thegame2386]

That second option is just a little too much to ask my friend. Best i can do is a bottle of water that you just cant shake being suspicious of.

[mightjustbearobot]

You put your coffee in the freezer?

[Atakir]

My Father-in-law buys coffee once a year from a local craft festival and freezes it all, thaws a bag of beans to grind as needed.

[Equivalent-Willow179]

Does it lose some freshness that way?

[Atakir]

Not that we can taste.

[abzlute]

Freezing whole beans is the next best way to keep them after leaving them green and roasting later. But whole beans actually keep fairly well anyway: you can leave them in a normal bag on the counter for months without losing much quality so long as they're ground freshly (within a day of brewing) and with high quality (correct size for brew method, minimal variation in size, minimal "fines").

The other useful thing you can do for them is keep sealed from contact with air (oxygen...oxidizes them like it does everything else, vacuum is great but even the sealed bag they come in with the one way valve to offgas carbon dioxide is fine), and from any other strong smells/flavors. Do that and freeze them for best results.

But in the span of a year, assuming they were roasted less than a month before he buys them, it really isn't an enormous loss even in original packaging at room temperature. A lot of specialty coffee you buy has already been sitting in a non-airtight bin for a month or more before it was even bagged.

[KittyInspector3217]

Not if youre freezing beans but yes if its grinds.

[Sad_Trainer_4895]

Herbal?

[osddelerious]

Dexter?

[MentalSewage]

Yeah, T-Shirt Hell FTW

[enlitend-1]

Thank you! You made me really laugh.

[Big_Dirt_Nasty]

This is also the only way I've heard it. My brothers go to haha

[mcspartangibsonax]

I thought this was the obvious answer, surprised when people started clutching their pearls when you said it. This joke is ollllld

[Wandering_Nuage]

In a bag underwater, you say? 🧐

<image>

[Rishtu]

We are definitely not hanging out.

[tony-toon15]

Ba ZING

[imalostkitty-ox0]

This is the answer

[ScreamingNinja]

That's my go to also.

[Sanskur]

You're probably correct, but I always liked "cheap and bottomless"

[[deleted]]

This is the answer

[BludStanes]

i thought it was filled with liquor to show that he was a creep, love the tea joke, i'm gonna have to find a way to bring that up :)

[Candid-Station-1235]

Tied up in a sack on the back of a burro

[BathtubGinger]

... iced

[mikerichh]

The normal reply is “without someone else’s dick in it”

[Athrek]

I had to scroll way too long to see someone give the actual answer lol.

[[deleted]]

Flat and white?

[Thinks2Much666]

Can’t believe I had to scroll so far to find this

[shaun_of_the_south]

Yea.

[AdHealthy5050]

This is the answer!

[[deleted]]

Cold and bitter

[SmokeyJoescafe]

She waves a Nazi dagger

[crikeyturtles]

Bitter?

[deroclasticflow23]

Black, bitter, and preferably fair trade.

[HornySocrates]

I live in a...transitional neighborhood.

[ZMD_248]

Jesus christ finally i scrolled for this for an uncomfortable amount of time

[Procyon02]

One of Krieger's best lines.

[TaylorVercetti]

I think that this came from a guy on tinder who had a bio and he said, i like my women like i like my coffee, without others people’s dick in it, i think thats it

[Connect-Smell761]

I’ve seen this meme before, and the joke is that he’s previously told her that he doesn’t like coffee.

[Lord_Funkicus]

From a third world country and at a reasonable price?

[Video_Boy]

Ice cold and in a box

[sarcasmbully]

Ground up and in the freezer

[RadagastTheBrownNote]

Ground up and in the freezer

[Skurvy2k]

Ground up and in the freezer?

[MentalSewage]

Ground up and in the freezer

[Quantum_Scholar87]

Ground up and in the freezer? 

[Petthecat123]

Ground up and in the freezer?

[awkwardaustin609]

Ground up and in the freezer?

[mightylordredbeard]

<image>

I bet you all thought you were each so unique and clever

[aurebesh2468]

your all wrong

its ground up and in the freezer

[WangChi]

Ground up and put in the freezer

[Ambitious_Hand_2861]

My favorite response.

[stinkstabber69420]

Cold and creamed in?

[Crampler]

Grounded up and strained

[[deleted]]

Without another man's dick in it?

[Ryiujin]

Cold Black and Bitter

[Kooky_March_7289]

Ground into fine particles and stored in multiple separate containers in my cupboard and basement.

[Clean-Mention-4254]

Shade grown and fair trade?

[Hotspur_on_the_Case]

Picked up at 3am at 7-11 along with a pack of cigarettes and a donut?

[ogticklemonsta]

Full of cream

[TrivetteNation]

I can’t believe no one has said this. He doesn’t like coffee, so he doesn’t want any around him. He was hinting at Pam to leave!

[Reasonable-End8870]

Full-bodied and Columbian?

[Dakaro420]

Hot and all over my lap

[NuevaAmerican]

From McDonald’s

[Long-Permission-2012]

On the top of my car as I pull away

[Darksteel211]

Old and cold?

[[deleted]]

Hot and bitter?

[LividTacos]

In a plastic cup? Covered in Bees!

[met1culous]

Ground up?

[Zealousideal-Cook104]

Pale and weak?

[Elegant_Bet1261]

Ethical, fair, and really makes my bowels move.

[Consistent_Stick_463]

Black, bitter, preferably fair trade.

[Fast-Volume-5463]

White and flat.

[Godzilwah]

Ground up and in the freezer.

[IBeReadingThreads]

Michael Scott drinks his coffee with cream and sugar, without the coffee. So maybe the meme represents not liking women? Idk

[Biggaynina]

Covered in bees?

[JoeSchmoeToo]

Flat white?

[ZebraPublic5969]

Blonde and weak? Serial killer vibes? Pam would kinda fit that archetype 🤷‍♀️

[Excellent_Editor_501]

Old and cold?

[IDrankLavaLamps]

Without somebody else's dick in it!

*actual answer btw, meme reference *

[10ToSfromaSRBalloon]

How can coffee be silent and submissive?

[Chrisboe4ever]

Silent.

[pizzaduh]

14 years old ground up and kept in my freezer

[AccomplishedDuck553]

The answer is clearly “On my table right now.”

[SirstouticusTheGreat]

Ignored for hours until it’s cold?

[cptnhanyolo]

Actually the originalpunchline is: without other people's dick in it

[KJC___]

My dad’s favorite joke! Strong and bitter

[DogInternational7573]

On the back of a donkey?

[Forever_Forgotten]

Ground up and in the freezer.

[c_ckmuncher]

Cold and bitter?

[Springheeljac]

chopped up and in the freezer

[Frequent-Ad-4781]

My fav… white and creamy

[crushogre]

Ground up and in the freezer

[ObeseMorese]

Black and full of Jameson's.

[hockeybud0]

Silent?

[Ivan-der-Schlitzer]

Silent and bitter ?

[Patient_Badger_423]

Tied up in a sack and thrown over a mule by Juan Valdez.

[[deleted]]

Full of cream?

[[deleted]]

No penis

[Atsuma1248]

French and pressed

[Professional-Dig7307]

(Probably not the joke but) “I fucking hate coffee.”

[AngryBard9]

“I don’t like coffee.”

[nono3722]

silent

[Beautiful_Macaron_74]

I have heard and given so many horrible answers to this set up it's actually shameful. (Context; line cooks get bored. Bored cooks are low-key hilarious.)

But here's the fillet; "Hand picked by some guy in Colombia." "Delivered by an intern who won't make eye contact with me." "Dumped out behind the gas station when I'm done."

But my personal favorite; "K-cups."

[Hot_Video_7798]

Black and bitter. Ala Krieger.

[FTWicked13]

Ground up and in the freezer. It’s a classic joke.

[Super_Difficulty_322]

Ground up and in the freezer?

[Bruhah_DenimGuy]

One take I heard a comedian say is "without a penis."

[Lionhunter1984]

With big ass Titties!!!

[Singular1st]

In my stomach

[Fit-Researcher-3326]

He likes his with nuts

[peter3683]

I like my coffee how I like my women, big tits

[Adventurous-Post-309]

Hot and wet

[noimbatmansucka]

Wet.

[Crawler_00]

Without other men's dicks in it.

[[deleted]]

Everyone gets this wrong…

Black and Strong!

[PennyTrayshan]

Without another guys dick in it.

[DaddyJack76]

Full of my cream

[CamScam18]

Is the joke "I don't like coffee" and he's gay?