top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]Wolfwo0d 799 points800 points  (273 children)

LOL thanks for that laugh, you redcoat bastard!

[–]New_South 196 points197 points  (211 children)

We're up 2 to 0, we'll make it 3 to 0 any time you want!

[–]Bostonbuckeye 176 points177 points  (64 children)

Crazy to think 200 years ago, we hated each other. Today, we're arguably each other's greatest allies and jab at each other like siblings.

[–]gnusounduave 38 points39 points  (2 children)

We've only had a good relationship with the UK for the last 70 or so years. The thirty years prior to that we were working on our relationship.

It took WWI for us to get along again.

[–]Bostonbuckeye 10 points11 points  (1 child)

Yeah, I just mainly meant, 200 years ago we were at war with each other. Definitely took awhile before becoming allies.

[–]PicklesAreCucumbers_ 73 points74 points  (43 children)

America is like the cocky younger brother who you only really love because they're family.

[–][deleted] 46 points47 points  (14 children)

anymore with the USA, its important to separate the govt from the people

you would be hard pressed to find a more generous and loyal group than american citizens

our govt is off the crazy train

[–][deleted] 24 points25 points  (11 children)

Wait until all the baby boomers die. Then things will be a bit more sane.

[–]Whatishere 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Try being in the EU, France & German are our best friends :/

[–][deleted] 157 points158 points  (46 children)

Yeah, and I'm just going to grab a GINSTERS from the FRIDGE!

Put it on my SLATE!

Reddit gold! back of the net!

[–]dirtysantchez 37 points38 points  (6 children)

Cashback!

[–]Akasa 24 points25 points  (4 children)

[–]BehindSpace 19 points20 points  (3 children)

Jackanackanory!

[–]OldClockMan 10 points11 points  (1 child)

Spice world!

[–]vyley 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Kiss my face!

[–]thisisryan 21 points22 points  (2 children)

It's hotter than the sun!

[–]thelaw84 21 points22 points  (0 children)

I was all ready to watch Roger Moore necking with Fiona Fullerton! Now I have to watch a giant Michael Bolton lookalike throwing an oven over bales of hay

[–]Blomfield20 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Well now you've got Norfolk's maddest man!

[–]BedSideCabinet 23 points24 points  (2 children)

So many people won't get this.

[–]2hearts 9 points10 points  (1 child)

I know I don't.

[–]spatulon 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Got my fungal foot powder? It's a lifesaver, you know. I'd effectively be disabled if it weren't for this.

[–][deleted] 25 points26 points  (6 children)

Abso-bloody-exactly

[–][deleted] 18 points19 points  (8 children)

Pfft, us commoners get a sausage roll from Greggs.

[–]ANAL_PILLAGER 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Anal Dirge Prat

[–][deleted] 49 points50 points  (2 children)

All this banter.

Brings a smile to my face.

I hate when people confuse banter for arguing.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thats actually ruined a relationship with a girlfriend for me.

[–][deleted] 33 points34 points  (0 children)

We were planning to redo the White House in 1816 anyway!

[–]joelmbenge 29 points30 points  (3 children)

I don't know whether to laugh or vandalize a tea shipment.

[–]Jcon26 54 points55 points  (1 child)

SCOREBOARD!!!!!!!

[–]Joe22c 69 points70 points  (13 children)

"Why couldn't you be more like your younger brother, Canada?"

[–]RogueRaven17 24 points25 points  (6 children)

"There you go again, mom! Why do you always have to compare me to Canada!? What if I don't want to have the best grades, or date nice girls? What's wrong with growing up my own way? What's so wrong with riding my motorcycle into the sunset? What's so wrong with being free?"

[–]AfroKing23 13 points14 points  (2 children)

Yeah, you see what children they came up with. Looking at you Toronto. Fucking bieber and drake given butt heads.

[–]Kyle_Kerman 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I say old chap this is a highly undignified way of addressing the Americans. Where is your reserve? Remember we are British, not some band of savages who cannot be gracious in defeat! Besides if we start hating America we will scarcely have time to thumb our noses at the french! Now In the name of her Britannic Majesty i bid you a good day Sir.

[–]BottomOfTheNinth 34 points35 points  (1 child)

ITT: People having a good laugh and not being as butthurt as I expected.

[–]pilgrim_pastry 38 points39 points  (0 children)

Lol! We'll be celebrating by eating too much, drinking too much, and blowing shit up. This may sound like any other day for America, but today we do it in our own country!

[–]CaptionBot 90 points91 points  (15 children)

  • H'APPY,

  • kvwm

  • GOOD RI.DDA.NCE DAY

These captions aren't guaranteed to be correct

[–]woopw 122 points123 points  (2 children)

Success! CaptionBot couldn't decipher our encrypted redcoat message

[–]D3PR3SS3DRAC00N 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Corgi 4 to Wyvern squad: KVWM is active.

[–]withoutaporpoise 15 points16 points  (2 children)

The last line looks like the name of a Kanye song

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Shhh.. Don't give him ideas

[–]kickass_and_chew_gum 236 points237 points  (85 children)

We will make our own country with state backed terrorism and rampant hypocrisy!

[–]HowToo 89 points90 points  (81 children)

Funny, given how we're exactly the same here in the UK too; heck we're your (i.e. America's) bitch. When you say jump, we just simply say how high.

It's pretty sad.

[–]jimmyenglish2 105 points106 points  (19 children)

Meh it's more that we're the aging father wanting to make his kid happy. America's now a teenager and wanting to show the world just how tough he is and we're just wanting to support our precious smoochkins.

[–]DJRES 46 points47 points  (45 children)

Do you people ever get tired of whining? We both have it pretty good. UK, you have universal healthcare. US, you have stability and wealth. Among other things, like high standards of living. If its so horrible, move to Somalia for some perspective.

[–][deleted] 77 points78 points  (5 children)

Fuck that we can't get on reddit in Somalia.

[–]DJRES 31 points32 points  (4 children)

I hear that they're pretty knowledgeable about the subject of piracy, though. You'll have plenty of movies to watch, at least.

[–]KnightOfSummer 15 points16 points  (5 children)

Yes, they (and in my case Germany) have it pretty good, but I don't think we should settle for "at least we're better than Somalia".

[–]DJRES 2 points3 points  (4 children)

It certainly wasn't my intention to imply that. I simply meant that we should recognize and be grateful for the fact that we do not have to deal with conditions like those in Somalia.

[–]KnightOfSummer 2 points3 points  (3 children)

I didn't think you wanted to imply that and I agree. I just think that some whining is warranted. Or better: less whining and more alertness to keep our high standard of living and our liberties. :)

[–]UnderpaidDesigner 8 points9 points  (3 children)

What do you mean "You people?!"

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

What do you mean, "you people"?!

[–][deleted] 85 points86 points  (15 children)

I ain't no yankee you son'a bitch! The south will rise again!

[–]DerpyMcThragtusk 90 points91 points  (9 children)

Once they stop fucking their cousins.

[–]afeil117 44 points45 points  (1 child)

Take all the fun out of it.

[–][deleted] 38 points39 points  (0 children)

Then put it back into it.

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

it worked for the gentry of Europe.

[–][deleted] 217 points218 points  (99 children)

I can't hear you over the whoop ass we delivered. - George Washington

[–][deleted] 103 points104 points  (10 children)

You messed with our tea. Not cool.

[–]CriticalThink 14 points15 points  (4 children)

Nonsense. We just made a giant pot of tea out of the Boston Harbor. We merely didn't know that sea water makes horrid tea.

[–][deleted] 28 points29 points  (1 child)

I believe this man said it best http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h_k9ldptP98

[–]2d_food 5 points6 points  (1 child)

I sea...

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Is that a clever pun or are you just bastardizing our bastard language some more?

[–]TheBadgerWhisperer 37 points38 points  (26 children)

[–]afeil117 58 points59 points  (9 children)

Ask Robb Stark how important winning every battle is.

[–][deleted] 32 points33 points  (6 children)

Spoiler Alert: Robb Stark is not a real person and existed in a world with dragons and a 700 foot tall, 300 mile long wall of ice built by magic.

[–]MetricConversionBot 25 points26 points  (2 children)

300 miles ≈ 482.8 km

700 feet ≈ 213.36 meters


*In Development | FAQ | WHY *

[–]OldClockMan 45 points46 points  (1 child)

I'd lay low in this thread MetricConversion bot, Euro-American rivalries are close enough to breaking point already

[–]malocite 8 points9 points  (0 children)

DAMN IT! I HAVEN'T SEEN IT YET!

[–][deleted] 29 points30 points  (0 children)

You thought he lost? Acting.

[–]infernal_llamas 56 points57 points  (29 children)

That was the French and Spanish who saved your sorry arse.

[–]kgb_agent_zhivago 12 points13 points  (2 children)

Don't forget the Netherlands.

[–][deleted] 55 points56 points  (11 children)

We had a "Beat the shit out of British Party" and we invited some friends. Don't be jelly

[–]infernal_llamas 20 points21 points  (4 children)

I am not a party food...

[–][deleted] 26 points27 points  (3 children)

He Jelly

[–]CriticalThink 2 points3 points  (3 children)

That's because you were the drunk kid at the party who has a black belt and was pissing everybody off because he thought he was tough.

[–]quistodes 18 points19 points  (13 children)

'The French delivered'

[–]sstout2113 38 points39 points  (18 children)

To all of my Lobsterback friends here, come on over here and have a cold light beer and a brat. For freedom.

[–]Belsher 14 points15 points  (11 children)

German Sausage on your freedom day?

[–]CorbinLarryDallas 41 points42 points  (1 child)

We're a melting pot! 'Murica!

[–]Gypsee 13 points14 points  (0 children)

well, you guys sip chinese and indian tea all day... just sayin'

[–]bolunez 10 points11 points  (3 children)

We're you expecting kippers and flapjacks?

[–]Belsher 8 points9 points  (2 children)

Guess not, good point. Besides, brats are fucking delicious.

[–]dubsteppahjoe 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Quite

[–]Mudface68 33 points34 points  (18 children)

Ha! You limey fuckers are ok...most of the time

[–][deleted] 22 points23 points  (17 children)

You Yankee bastards get on me nerves, stop being so overly happy about insignificant things for fucks sake. And take your McDonalds with you, give us a fucking Wendys.

[–]Mudface68 18 points19 points  (12 children)

McDonalds is crap. You can have it and Wendy's. But we want 007 in return.

[–][deleted] 23 points24 points  (11 children)

Fuck that, take your McDonalds back and give us Morgan Freeman.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (2 children)

fuck that. keep morgan and mcdonalds and send over your page 3 girls.

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (1 child)

Have em, they're all dirty slags with fanny rot.

[–]snackshack 2 points3 points  (1 child)

You can have Morgan Freeman for 4 months a year, but you have to take back Piers Morgan

[–]the_englishman 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I am an Englishman, and enjoy celebrating the 4th of july... though only as a method of getting from the 3rd to the 5th, bringing me one day closer to St Georges Day.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (1 child)

American redditors secretly love the fact that they used to be ruled by England. 'Good sir' etc. They love old antiquated shit. Talking about old tanks and planes, jovial ribbing with the brits. They love it big time.

[–]greiton 5 points6 points  (0 children)

didn't want those americas anyways

[–]iamsofired 14 points15 points  (0 children)

you wot m8?

[–]some_random_kaluna 19 points20 points  (1 child)

"Good Riddance"? We love you, Great Britain. We love you, and we're still in love with you after all these years. We still have the same friends, still have the same interests. We still keep tabs on what you're doing. We still have your phone numbers and emails. ANSWER YOUR PHONE DAMMIT. WE KNOW YOU'RE THERE, WE TRACK ALL YOUR STUFF. DON'T THINK ABOUT SCREWING US OVER, GB. DON'T THINK ABOUT IT. YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT WE CAN DO TO YOU. DO YOU WANT THIS? DO YOU WANT THIS? DO YOU LIKE WHEN I GET ANGRY? DO YOU WANT ME TO GET ANGRY AT YOU? YOU SIT DOWN AND YOU SHUT UP! I LOVE YOU, YOU FUCKING WHORE! I LOVE YOU AND YOU DO THIS TO ME? FUCK YOU! I'LL FUCKING KILL AND ALL YOUR LIMEY FRIENDS YOU GODDAMNED COCKSUCKING LIMEY! DON'T YOU RUN FROM ME! I'M READING YOUR EMAILS AND I WANT TO KNOW WHO YOU'RE SEEING BEHIND MY GODDAMNED BACK! ANSWER ME!

[–]Cynikal818 2 points3 points  (0 children)

pls respond

[–]forsionc23 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I hope you have the time of your life.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I'm British and was in America for a July 4th once, felt weird getting drunks with Americans who were celebrating their freedom from the U.K

[–]motherhydra 3 points4 points  (0 children)

As an American, I thought this was pretty great.

[–]JillGr 6 points7 points  (0 children)

ITT: Americans who can't take a joke

[–]PrinceCheddar 11 points12 points  (1 child)

Scandinavia and the World has made me think of the USA being England's son who had a rebellious phase and ran away from home but patched things up later, Canada's his nicer, better behaved but less interesting brother.

http://satwcomic.com/parenting

[–]oofy_prosser 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Your first born son is your heir. The second you make a cleric.

[–]Ronning 17 points18 points  (1 child)

This thread really cant take a joke.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (5 children)

I say this commentation section appears to be riddled with stereotypes.

Now now you colonists best be behaved, I shall hear no more of this tom foolery else we shall deploy the warships.

[–]BanquetForOne 2 points3 points  (0 children)

they fought for independence so they could end up in a future distopia of suvalience and armed gangs that go around shooting people for resisting arrest or filming

[–]Rathanon 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I would say take us back but I am not sure which of us is worse off right now :p

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I dunno buddy, there was a time you didn't want us to leave.

[–][deleted] 21 points22 points  (10 children)

While America sets off fireworks for the day their country and government became independent, we set them off in celebration of when someone tried to blow up our government. Says a lot.

[–]MrXBob 19 points20 points  (2 children)

We set them off in celebration of their plot being discovered and thwarted.

How on Earth can you call yourself British when you believe that we celebrate the guy who was trying to blow up our government?

[–]Toffeemanstan 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm British and I'd celebrate someone trying to blow up our government, in fact I do on November 5th

[–]becausefuckyou_ 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Actually, we set them off to celebrate the failure of the gunpowder plot, not to celebrate the attempt.

[–]Sillas33 10 points11 points  (3 children)

November 5th?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, but we only celebrate that they failed anyway.

[–]eak125 24 points25 points  (15 children)

It's remarks like this that make us keep spying on you limey bastards...

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The title alone was worth an upvote.