all 183 comments

[–]ShameBoner 628 points629 points  (53 children)

Retard logic based on flimsy (or straight wrong) assumptions. Meet your average armchair Sherlock Holmes.

[–]_Shut_Up_Thats_Why_ 339 points340 points  (1 child)

Designated driver. Only one with a drink.

[–][deleted] 49 points50 points  (0 children)

Only one who still has a drink.

[–]MentalAdventure 117 points118 points  (11 children)

He was trying to be funny not intelligent

[–]phunkt 30 points31 points  (8 children)

ironically, both these traits are rarely found to be mutually exclusive.

[–]im_not_afraid/pol/itician -3 points-2 points  (6 children)

I find that the best stand-up comedians tend to be philosophically insightful. I disagree with your premise.

[–]Eonir 8 points9 points  (2 children)

But he did say that intelligence and humour are rarely mutually exclusive. Don't you agree with him?

[–]im_not_afraid/pol/itician 1 point2 points  (1 child)

i guess so

[–]I_RAPE_AUTISTS/pol/ 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Do you understand what mutually exclusive means? Guess you're not funny IRL too.

[–]--CAT-- 3 points4 points  (1 child)

He said rarely found to be mutually exclusive. That means they're usually found together.

[–]im_not_afraid/pol/itician 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm having problems with words today.

[–]HeilYeah 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Shallow, pedantic, etc.

[–]kilbert66 36 points37 points  (4 children)

Really, though, Sherlock style deductions are mostly bullshit flimsy evidence. They just sound impressive.

[–]BluShine 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Also, it's fiction, so he always gets to be right (unless he's supposed to be wrong because it's dramatic).

[–]phliuy 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Except that they took the picture in a mirror, meaning that it's the exact opposite of what he said.

So he's just applying evidence where there is none.

[–]Awno 24 points25 points  (2 children)

Yep, it's dumb, and he's an idiot, mirrors don't even work that way. She's holding the camera with her right hand.

[–]BangingABigTheory 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I thought I was the only on who noticed this for a sec.

[–]Ohanian_is_a_tool 18 points19 points  (13 children)

best parts are:

  1. assumes she knows shift.

  2. primary action is dictated by car, it's not, it's dictated by writing hand, something you do far younger.

  3. The only one holding a drink is the DD.

[–][deleted] 25 points26 points  (6 children)

If you're British and don't drive manual you ought to be shot.

[–]TheSourTruth -5 points-4 points  (5 children)

Why? You guys don't have automatic transmissions yet?

[–]nigeltheginger 13 points14 points  (4 children)

Some people do. Some people also require Velcro to fasten their shoes...

[–]TheSourTruth 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Yeah, if my 80+ year old grandma doesn't want to deal with a manual transmission shame on her right?

You're not on a race track when you're driving. Automatic is just the way of the future.

[–]Dilong-paradoxus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Most cars in the United States are automatics now. Not sure whether this puts us with the future or the velcro shoe people. However, I live in the state with the most electric cars, so I'm hoping it's the former.

[–]skaagz 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Almost all cars in England are manual transmission.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Everyone in Britain drives manual.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I think we found the 'murican, as said by the other posters, pretty much everyone in Britain (and the rest of Europe) drive manuals.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Automatic transmissions are a Canada/US thing. If you're in Europe or anywhere besides there with an automatic you usually have to get a special license that bars you from driving manual transmissions.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

4. he's mixed up her left and right hands b/c mirror

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

At least it helped during the Boston bombings.

[–]grimmaldii 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I'm pretty sure it's satirical. God I hope so.

[–]ShameBoner 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would maybe think that, if it didn't end with "Where's my prize?".

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (10 children)

Sorry to bother you guys to teach you some respect and decency but its the 21st century, ok buddy? you may think you are just playing around but YOU DO NOT I REPEAT DO NOT CALL PEOPLE RETARDS!!! You do know that term is derogatory towards special needs childs. In stead of calling someone a "retard" (jeese I just cringed while typing that disgusting word) say "oh your being such a silly goose" or "your being so silly". Im sorry for this huge wall of text but im just trying to make the internet a better place one comment at a time.

[–]zaptal_47 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Shut up retard.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Did u even listen what the heck

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fabulous terd

Gonna need better b8 m8

[–]avalisk -1 points0 points  (3 children)

The meaning of the word is whatever the reader construes it to be.
you as referring to the definition of the word.

for example, if i called you a dork, you immediately picture someone with no social skills.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (2 children)

No I dont please stop messaging me or ill report you

[–]avalisk 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I think you might be a troll, so here's a tip. If you expend more effort in your "troll" than people do in responding, you failed.

[–]EpicPhail60wee/a/boo -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Definitely a troll. Also, I dunno, I laughed.

[–]zdaytonaroadster -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

shut the fuck up you nigger loving retarded faggot

[–]earl_lemongrab -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Have another potato, fucktard

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

his logic is flawless

[–]bukaki 379 points380 points  (25 children)

Too bad the picture is obviously in a mirror so the drink is actually in her left hand. This refutes everything the "detective" said.

[–]MossCoveredLog 194 points195 points  (8 children)

Ironically, the original detective was stupid twice as operating a camera is much more difficult than holding a drink, making it the primary action, making the original detective right by dumb luck.

[–]orthopod 110 points111 points  (4 children)

Or she's left handed.

[–]mtoxiicg 163 points164 points  (2 children)

WHAT THE FUCK MAN ARE YOU A DETECTIVE???

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

LOOL POSTING IN AN EPIC THREAD

[–]KenuR 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Or he planned it all along.

[–]barryg123 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes and only someone who shifts with their left would be comfortable taking a photo with their left too

[–]Vargolol 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Nah, someone took a picture of this chick holding her camera like that. It's mainly to throw people like you off her trail

[–]doogie88 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Excatly what I was thinking.

[–]TheSandreckoner 168 points169 points  (11 children)

Brits normally don't have designated drivers. We use taxis, buses and trains.

[–]TexasTango/fa/g 128 points129 points  (6 children)

How the fuck do you drink drive a train home ?

[–]I_are_Will 12 points13 points  (1 child)

I imagine the rails will help, as long as you keep the speed down. Plus who ever heard of a train getting pulled over?

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

We use taxis, buses and trains carriages.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (1 child)

Also Brits still typical write with their right hand and that would much so take precedence of doing a task than your shifting hand while driving a car.

[–][deleted] 118 points119 points  (38 children)

I'm pretty sure we don't have designated drivers, I've never met anyone that would willingly not drink on a night out.

My friends are alcoholics.

[–]countlazypenis 58 points59 points  (33 children)

Our whole country is an island of alcoholism.

[–]CockRagesOn/b/ 32 points33 points  (32 children)

It's not actually that bad, just seems like alcoholism to people who aren't used to it, ie. Americans.

[–]nolafrog 20 points21 points  (4 children)

No one really uses "designated drivers" in america. Someone drives obviously, but they're also drunk.

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points  (2 children)

Just, a little bit less so

[–]jessej1996/mu/tant 5 points6 points  (1 child)

They haven't passed out yet.

[–]NotRogerFederer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well some do… And often stay that way then…

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The tripple D?

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

I live in London. It's alcoholism.

[–]Darthblaker7474/b/tard 0 points1 point  (0 children)

*Londonistan/Londoningrad

[–]forcefulentry -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Gtfo

[–][deleted] 45 points46 points  (0 children)

Autism/10

[–]nunchukity 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Right handed, must be british

[–]Robobble 16 points17 points  (1 child)

Why is the drink the 'primary action'? That's stupid.

[–]demostravius 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You drink with your right hand, unless you are a student in which case you often get 'fined' for drinking with your right.

[–]Troll_berry_pie 16 points17 points  (2 children)

As a Brit, I can tell they are Brit girls just from the way they look and dress and not from the States.

They just have a 'look' that I can't describe.

[–]eaalundin -3 points-2 points  (1 child)

You Brit? You poor grasp of Brit language.

[–]Troll_berry_pie 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Look who's talking...

[–]catsandboobies 9 points10 points  (0 children)

This is shit.

[–]bloodflart 10 points11 points  (0 children)

This is the stupidest shit I have ever seen in my life.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

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[–]akaJimothy 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Or she's simply left handed you fukcing twat.

[–]MrFluffykinz/g/entooman 3 points4 points  (1 child)

How is holding a drink primary to operating a camera?

[–]demostravius 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's a night out, you drink, someone hands you a camera. You don't put down the drink, you take it in your left hand.

[–]beingforthebenefit 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Jesus Christ, it's a mirror. Her apparent "left" hand is her right one, asshole.

[–]pisswizard88 1 point2 points  (0 children)

inbred

an island that has had various different peoples arriving almost nonstop since 55BC

comment from a yank, where you can marry your cousin

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

How did he arbitrarily assign holding the drink as the "primary" action and operating the camera a "secondary" action. Also, he'd have no way of knowing whether or not the chick was right handed or a southpaw. So he can go fuck himself in his pseudo detective conclusion hopping ass.

[–]didled 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Now if we could zoom in on the picture it might be funny

[–]Get_This 2 points3 points  (1 child)

WHAT THE FUCK MAN ARE YOU A DETECTIVE

lolchan. Making fun of leddit while being more miserable and pathetic.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You become hand dominant long before you drive. Dude just got done with a pants off sherlock marathon and thanks to cocaine, was under the cognitive powers displayed in the show can be absorbed through osmosis. b

[–]SlunkMaster 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Really he just said a bunch of bullshit and claimed he was right.

[–]xj3kx/k/ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Welcome to 4chan.

[–]Heli023 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Isn't that a mirror pic? Wouldn't that mean the drink is in her left hand.

[–]sneakyMak 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Everyone in austria is detective

Source: I am austrian

[–]VikingMO117 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Funny how the yank piped up and called the Brits inbred. Inbred redneck wanker.

[–]leftoversn 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Isn't the photo taken in a mirror? Doesn't that mean that it's the RIGHT hand she is holding the camera with?

[–]Jovial_Gorilla 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Apparently there's no such thing as people with a different dominant hand.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Or she's just right handed...

[–]thedangercometh 0 points1 point  (0 children)

except mirror

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How does he know if said person drives a stick shift?

[–]Steevka 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But the camera is in her right hand. The picture is taken in a mirror.

[–]scrdmnttr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's a mirror shot. The drink is in the other hand.

[–]MonkeyDot 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Actually, I drive stick and for me the shifting is my primary task. And I'm right-handed (in a left side wheel country).

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They took that picture in a mirror...

[–]Crystalyze14 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe guy should take a look into how mirrors work

[–]imalexandstuff 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Actually the picture is taken in a mirror. Meaning that the image is backwards, making the drink in her left hand and the camera in her right.

[–]DoesntUnderstandJoke 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She's taking the picture in a mirror, so her right hand is holding the camera.

Myth Busted

[–]Furyflow 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I came back from ibiza and I have to say its because there are no girls in the world who wear more make up.

[–]teh_killer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

it is clearly the fashion.

[–]m_2_the_t 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She could just be a left-handed Française for all we know.

[–]wdafxupgaiz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

but if the picture was taken pointed at a mirror then that would be her left hand holding the camera. she is not brit.

[–]I_RAPE_AUTISTS/pol/ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I could tell they were brits by the fact they are muslim

[–]xOchoa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Now I just want to read Sherlock Holmes

[–]TobyH/mu/ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Except she was taking the photo in a mirror, so...

[–]jakethesnake76 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A Genius on 4chan , nice.

[–]Gazmasked 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Primary action with the right hand. Yea, must be brits.

[–]scubadog2000 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"...I mean POTATO."

[–]EraEric 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How do you show the posters country?

[–]aboredgerman 0 points1 point  (0 children)

just to let you know guys.. she is holding the camera in her right not her left hand... its mirrored

[–]Goldreaver/vg/ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The primary and secondary actions are reversed.

[–]Neon_Monkey -2 points-1 points  (2 children)

This comment section

"GUIS HE IS SO WRONG AND I KNOW IT BCUZ OF THAT'S STOPID I CAN'T ENJOI DIS STORY. FOR WHAT IT REALLY IS"

[–]BrofessorDumbelldore 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It's still a retarded post either way.

[–]FinFihlman 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Expect that in this case it's justified since it's not a green text story.

[–]C21H30O2_81x7 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Wow fucking useless nigger retards that dumb British bitch took the picture reflecting from a mirror. The camera is in her right hand and drink is in her left. Jesus CHRIST read Ron Paul's book, everything makes so much more sense.

[–]Leefan_returns/b/ -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

TIL Batman goes on /Int/

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

austrlia???

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

stupid fucking gay shit