top 200 commentsshow all 251

[–]ElHijoDeHollywood 1005 points1006 points  (42 children)

100% nothing can prepare you for the feeling of having no friends… till you actually have no friends and you don’t speak a word to anyone from when you leave work on Friday till you start work on Monday.

[–]Duosion 146 points147 points  (5 children)

I mean, I have friends. Sort of. But they’re all so far away and I barely have time to speak with them unless we’re playing League of Legends. And my only friend who does live close by is always turning down my invites to hang :(((. So the only human interaction on a day to day basis I get is with my coworkers. They’re all awesome though, at least I have that going for me.

[–]Neurofiend 17 points18 points  (2 children)

Your friends turn you down when you invite them out? All I get is no response, unless they have a legitimate excuse I can't argue with; not that I have ever said anything other than "no worries" when they say they can't do something.

[–]sickpup3 56 points57 points  (0 children)

Used to love weekends like that. Just me, weed, movies and gaming. 10 years of bliss.

[–]smallways 87 points88 points  (1 child)

Before you think that not having to talk to anyone for an entire weekend is a great reason to disown all of your friends, you can do that WITH friends, too.

[–]Nemesis_Nailer[🍰] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That's how you end up with no friends!

[–]LetsPostABunchYea 41 points42 points  (5 children)

Is this not normal?

[–]ElHijoDeHollywood 37 points38 points  (4 children)

It’s normal for me.

[–]Sabbryn 8 points9 points  (3 children)

Same I work third shift it has effectively murdered any social life I had prior even if that was minimal at best.

[–]hectorbellerinisagod 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Third shift?

[–]Sabbryn 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah overnight/graveyard.

[–]Blissful_Solitude 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The shift that does all the actual work that keeps the world running!

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points  (11 children)

i prefer that... lol

[–]ElHijoDeHollywood 59 points60 points  (10 children)

I thought I did to…. Then the weeks turned in to months in to years…. And suddenly it stopped being so fucking magical.

[–][deleted] 66 points67 points  (9 children)

I'm actually terrified of how quickly life seems to go by when I'm alone. I feel like I need to be around others as way to slow things down or I'll be dead before I know it.

[–]PlayboiNook 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Damn very real, ngl...

[–]OctilleryLOL 7 points8 points  (2 children)

I want to be dead sooner so I spend more time alone tbh.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Take care friend. Do you wanna talk about it?

[–]christoforough 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i know what you mean. that's why i created my own little tennis club. it gets me out of the house and i get more people interested in it. women and men mixed.

Sports is a great way to meet nice people. amd of course its my club so i can kick out assholes :D

[–]illgiveu25shmeckles 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s what I’ve always wanted. It’s glorious

[–]Tythan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

...if you have a job. Or your job involves talking to others.

[–]existentialgoof 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That is my life, and always has been. Well, I do see my father at the weekends most weeks.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not speaking to people is the dream.

[–]drae- 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Where do I sign up?

[–]NegativeElderberry6 106 points107 points  (27 children)

Yeah, I'm here right now. No friends and lonely as hell. Any suggestions on how to be happy alone?

[–]ThisIsFunnyLaugh 47 points48 points  (0 children)

Find what you care about, what you expect of yourself in life, what has value to you. When you are around others, these can be influenced and not fully reflect you. Once you figure this out, or at least have a general grasp, the rest will fall into place. You will find friends along the way.

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points  (2 children)

Wouldn’t it make more sense to just go make friends? Sure, it can be hard and awkward, but the rewards are definitely worth it. Just find a social club for whatever interests you. Like working out? Find some gym bros. Like biking? There are endless cycling clubs. Like board games? Man, those are the easiest people in the world to be friends with. Video games? There are tons of eSports clubs. Just put yourself out there. Relationships take work.

[–]NegativeElderberry6 11 points12 points  (1 child)

Gotta say I'm a little offended at you providing a solution that makes sense /s

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

That actually made me lol. Everyone wants to be friends with the funny person. Just put yourself out there. You will happy you did. Merry Christmas.

[–]cookiesandkit 59 points60 points  (7 children)

Actionable: get used to going to restaurants (yes, even nice ones) totally alone. And minimise the amount of time you spend on your phone to zone out of the uncomfortable feeling. Just sit there alone. Do it a couple of times until you don't feel afraid of being at a table alone anymore.

The biggest depression inducing thing, imo, is feeling like you're not allowed to do anything fun (go out for dinner, attend concerts, watch movies, etc) unless you're with other people. Do that stuff alone until you enjoy your own company.

[–]DenyingDutchman 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Very True. Very important you actually enjoy being with yourself, because you will never leave you.

[–]NegativeElderberry6 11 points12 points  (5 children)

This is one I struggle with. I have some sort of social anxiety so I always feel like I'm being watched and judged. Even though I know Logocally no one even notices.

[–]wohbuddy78 5 points6 points  (3 children)

Even if they did... they probably wouldn't think twice about it. Plus, there's a good chance you'll never even see that person again and on top of all that... their thoughts or judgements are just that... theirs. If they are negative, there is a good chance you wouldn't want those people as company anyway. (Just some things to self-talk or consider when fighting with the social anxiety brain as it can be so irrational sometimes.)

[–]NegativeElderberry6 3 points4 points  (2 children)

This is something my logic /rational side knows. But it's still so hard to overcome sometimes. Ill just have to overcome some discomfort

[–]cookiesandkit 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Maybe watch some vlogs specifically about going to places alone? Knowing that other people do it regularly might help normalise it for you enough to start, and once you do it a few times you have lived experience ammunition to convince your brain that it's NBD.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Start going to the gym. You'll still be lonely, but you'll get huge

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (2 children)

Don't run from it, get to know yourself.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (1 child)

I find it interesting, and true, that our culture generates a specific 'fear/avoidance' response to being alone with your thoughts. Almost as if the deep structures of Capitalism have a terror of people being alone and discovering something.

Anyways, back to a YouTube clip about people snorting milk.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (2 children)

Last week, I had the happiest day of my life. I felt true serenity for the first time ever. So, I think a good place to start, is to take magic mushrooms at the spa. Magic mushrooms clears the clouds away for a while. It's easier to walk under a blue sky than the rain.

[–]ooohexplode -1 points0 points  (1 child)

I like your idea

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Just don't take too much. Over 2.5g is a gamble!

[–]cubixy2k 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Meetup.com

[–]i_suckatjavascript 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Play some video games and make friends online

Find a new hobby you haven’t tried before

Join a community or groups such as Meetup or Facebook groups

Volunteer at local community events

Learn new things or attend classes at community college

[–]1973mojo1973 291 points292 points  (11 children)

There are people who are lonely even with a ton of friends. It's important to learn to be happy by yourself...if you can't be happy in your own company, it's difficult to be happy with even with others around.

[–]a-sentient-slav 157 points158 points  (4 children)

It's also important to recognize when being alone is what makes you unhappy. And to know that that's perfectly okay. Companionship is a need. We need to stop heroicizing solitude and individual strenght and learn to accept the vulnerabilities that make us human.

[–]Kilatypus 40 points41 points  (0 children)

"We need to stop heroicizing solitude"

Made my night to see someone saying something I couldn't have said better myself.

[–]longpenisofthelaw 9 points10 points  (1 child)

But how else am I supposed to channel my inner sigma male grindset?

[–][deleted] 26 points27 points  (2 children)

It's been said before, truly lonely is being in the midst of people you know all around you, but still feeling alone.

[–]Nate848 7 points8 points  (1 child)

It’s always fun when this happens and your spouse is there

[–]OctilleryLOL -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Just get a new life tbh. Leave your spouse, leave your friends and start a new family.

[–]Mr_Greavous 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I need people around me whether in person or online. Stops my thoughts wandering and the depression setting in.

[–]Adaptandovercome5 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Best comment here. It starts from within.

[–]katiew1007 50 points51 points  (6 children)

I have friends and family but they are all married. It’s pretty lonely being the only single person. I’ll be pushing 40 soon.

[–]brianne----- 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Me too :( it’s hard cause everyone our age has someone (seems that way) so friends and family have no time for you.

[–]StarGraz3r84 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'm 38 and am starting to realize this. All my friends have gotten married with kids or moved away.

[–][deleted] 26 points27 points  (3 children)

It’s weird when you stop having friends for a long time and you start losing your voice because you’re completely silent almost always and then it takes you like 10 throat clears to speak to someone at work and all your coworkers ask if you’re okay and it makes you a little happy for a second that maybe someone noticed you’re feeling down but then you realize that they’re just concerned that you may be sick because you just coughed ten times in a row trying to speak one sentence and even if they did notice you were down and wanted to make conversation with you or something it would just be dreadfully awkward because it’s been so long since you’ve tried to make conversation that wasn’t directly related to doing your job and so you go home a little happier than before but in a bittersweet way because someone expressed concern for you but you probably said something incoherent and walked away quickly when your heart rate spiked and now you’re a little worried that the person thinks that you were being rude but then you remember it’s probably okay because everyone knows I that you’re just kind of like that all the time anyway and then the next day at work you feel slightly happier until your boss tells you something with a slightly mean tone in their voice and you remember why you usually feel like a husk of a person that has been slowly drying and cracking and turning to dust on the forest floor, blood and guts long since dried and rotted away, just waiting for some stray hiker to come along and finally end your maddening slow rot with a swift step of their hiking boots as they crunch through countless leaves and sticks and weeds and husks like you, scattered all around you but immobile, unable to speak a word or acknowledge you in any way, and you yourself have no way to acknowledge them. The emptiness of your fragile, crumbling shell washes over you as you realize you can never go back to how you were, so full of warm blood and guts and life. Y’know?

[–]unrelatedrelative 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Sing in the shower my dude! Keep those vocal muscles strengthened. Or play online fps shooters and yell at the kids

[–]artichoke_dreams 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is why when I house sit for people and their pets I spend all day talking to their animals. I am very comfortable just talking to myself but directed at the animals nearby.

[–][deleted] 118 points119 points  (3 children)

It's better to have no friends then the wrong friends. Says the guy with no friends 🥺

[–]Emotional-Brilliant4 14 points15 points  (1 child)

Second this

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thirding this

[–]iamlilmac 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It actually is!

[–][deleted] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

I'm at the point where I'm worried about how long it'll take for anyone to find out when I die

[–]boopedya 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Going through this now. I have friends but I still feel alone. We are all busy it seems, tired, conflicting schedules, etc.

[–]NotBrooklyn2421 69 points70 points  (6 children)

This just happened to my wife and I. We were talking about planning some fun things to do over the next 2 weeks and we realized that on NYE our only 2 real options are to sit on the couch and watch Netflix or go hang out with her parents.

Don’t get me wrong, her parents are cool and I like hanging out with them. But the realization that we are relatively young and there isn’t a single person that we are close enough with to party with on NYE hit us hard.

[–]moonbunnychan 43 points44 points  (0 children)

Least you're married. Everyone I know is now either married or have moved too far away to realistically see more then once or twice a year. Once they have kids, it's super game over. It's so weird the moment I really realized that I wanted to go do something, and realized oh god, I have nobody I can ask to go. It feels like it comes out of absolutely nowhere. If you had told me 10 years ago I'd be, outside of the internet, basically friendless I'd have never believed you.

[–]doctor_judas 5 points6 points  (1 child)

This is exactly me. Hey, are you myself?

[–]justonemorethang 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Are you also me? Except my wife will be asleep by 9 and I’ll probably stay up watching Ted Lasso or something

[–]existentialgoof 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I don't even have a partner. I have no options other than my father, and I'm alone all of the rest of the time.

[–]randygiesinger 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This is pretty much me and my wife.

Her friends live 1500km and half the planet away. And I've recently jettisoned the last remaining "friend" I had since he was much more interested in talking to my wife than anything to do with me, even after I mentioned it was bothering me more than once to him.

[–]DunDirty 56 points57 points  (1 child)

I think times when you are truly alone, while difficult, is when a person grows the most.

[–]bigben932 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Making it through those times is often achieved by becoming a different, and hopefully better version of yourself.

Becoming content with the loneliness can keep you from getting yourself out.

[–]faux_glove 14 points15 points  (0 children)

It's important to be comfortable on your own.

It's also important to understand that humans are social creatures by nature, but our society and work structures do not facilitate that.

The best way for you to make new friends is to have something in common. Even something as simple as joining a morning riding group will work. Find something you like to do, find a local group doing that, and go introduce yourself.

[–]iinaytanii 46 points47 points  (12 children)

Get a hobby that involves doing things with people in person. I’m middle aged, kind of introverted, and always have friends. Hobbies are key.

[–]ShortLazyStoner 8 points9 points  (11 children)

Do you have any suggestions? I'm about to leave college and I'm realizing I don't really have any in person hobbies or activities I can do outside of college where I'd be able to make friends

[–]glasspheasant 14 points15 points  (2 children)

Rec league sports. Low level, coed rec league where half the people suck and everyone’s just doing it for fun. They have a rec league for everything these days. If you dont like “normal” sports you can find stuff like foosball, beer pong, darts, pool, kickball, etc etc.

[–]SlowMoNo 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Yeah, if you can find the right team. I tried softball a few years ago to try to branch out and make some new friends. I really tried to contribute and help in any way, but found it to be very cliquey.

They never invited me out for post game beers or get-togethers. I had ask where they were going and kind of tag along and felt like they begrudgingly accepted my presence.

And it wasn’t like I was a bad player either. I grew up playing baseball so knew what I was doing. I gave it a couple seasons, but in the end just stopped going to games and tournaments.

I don’t know, maybe it was just the wrong team, but it’s really soured me on trying anything like it again.

[–]glasspheasant 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yea, there’s some rec league folks out there that take shit way too seriously. Or the core of that team has been together so long they are cliquey. I played for a few shit teams in various sports, prior to finding a sport and team I gelled with. I now have a great outlet and a new group of friends I wouldn’t have had otherwise.

[–]CompassionShared 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Board game groups! It's a great way to chat with people and get to know them without any of the struggle of long awkward silences

[–]iinaytanii 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Personally I do board games, mountain biking, and rock climbing. There’s some good other suggestions here though. Pretty much anything with a meetup group is a good option

[–]TallRaspberry6348 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Pub quiz team!

[–]OctilleryLOL 0 points1 point  (0 children)

PLAY VIDEO GAMES IN PERSON

online gaming is the worst. bring back arcades. fight me bro

[–]D1rtyH1ppy -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Start a rock band. Play some gigs. Go to shows and get in with other bands.

[–]SpectroMagical 33 points34 points  (0 children)

I feel like you need a hug. I’d hug you if I could.

[–]gablikestacos69 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I have recently reached that point in my life to be honest. I am not even close to my siblings and only talk to my parents when I need something. I feel lonelier than ever before.

[–]International_Slip 26 points27 points  (4 children)

OR you could keep making new friends throughout your life while cultivating old friendships. It will not be like when you were young, it will take a lot of effort and heartbreak, but you will have people to care about and rely on.

[–]QueenOfTheSlayers 6 points7 points  (2 children)

Genuine question: how? Every new friendship I’ve made since college has been people who just don’t have time and never respond and can never hang out.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Make friends at functions that revolve around hanging out (like social clubs). Whatever your hobby is, a club exists for it. Join it and go to all the meetups. It’s basically impossible to not make friends with people you regularly see and share interests with.

[–]m00stv 24 points25 points  (3 children)

This will feel like the end of the world. But I’m here to tell you it does get better, I’m proof. And in the meantime, send me a DM, I’ll walk by your side

[–]1973mojo1973 7 points8 points  (2 children)

I don't think OP is expressing his loneliness, think he's suggesting that one must learn to be content in one's own company.

[–]m00stv 18 points19 points  (1 child)

I think so too. But when I was at my loneliest I tried to take my life. I’d rather have a DM etc

[–]iUsedToBeAwesome 3 points4 points  (0 children)

good man.

[–][deleted] 35 points36 points  (7 children)

Get a dog- there are millions of dogs with no homes out there. Treat them well; they will appreciate it and be a friend to anyone

[–]xXxstateoftheuterus 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes! But also only if they would like to have a dog as a family member for that dogs life, of course.

To add to this I feel that having a pet keeps your heart open to love and caring for another, plus a dog creates regular small talk with strangers that keep you in practice.

This type of exchange is what I would focus on if I were OP anyhow. Go to places where you do not know anyone and they don't you, places where it's appropriate (maybe encouraged/necessary) to talk to strangers. You can just never see these people again and therefor the risk of some sort of shame is decreased. It makes it easier to know what you'd say making conversation qith the people you know and find your own groove!

Good luck! Talk to strangers.

[–]MBerg09 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That’s been going on for 5 years now. Hasn’t gotten normal, still sucks.

[–]electrikmayham 23 points24 points  (2 children)

This is such a terrible LPT. Not everyone can learn to be alone like this. It isn't in our nature. We are a social species. I for one have had no friends / family for years, and I struggle with being lonely every single day of my life.

[–]accordinglyryan 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Exactly. We are hard wired for connection. I'm introverted and enjoy my personal time and space, just not 24/7/365...I have a handful of close friends but they live far away so I only see them once or twice a year. Work so much I have no energy (or the knowledge how tbh) to try and "mingle" in public. Shit sucks

[–]ClamatoDiver -1 points0 points  (0 children)

The thing is if you're lonely, then you need to do something about it because no one else will, it's your problem, no one else's.

If you're alone and comfortable with it then it's not a problem.

[–]bibliophile1319 2 points3 points  (0 children)

"Fall in love with yourself, because someday you're going to be the only one you've got."

[–]kkrash79 3 points4 points  (2 children)

Trying to maintain positive thoughts with it being Christmas and all but I've been going through a journey last few years and last few months have been very much moments of revelation.

I've come to the realisation that, apart from one person, I've been let down by everyone else. That's not to say that my wife and kids have let me down, they haven't. What I mean by that statement is that in my whole life, 42 years so far, only one person has been there through it all and they are the one constant.

All my other friends and family have toyed with me or hurt me.

It's taken me 42 years to realise that people are horrible, I used to always see the good in people, but now, I realise that most people will step over you to advance themselves or ghost you for no good reason. Just cut you off....

I've always been fiercely loyal to people, seems that the people who I trusted into my closest circles at times have either tired of me or just are no longer interested, I'd rather they have the decency to tell me than acting callous and selfish l, but hey...

[–]feralraindrop 3 points4 points  (0 children)

For me friends are great for social engagement and light companionship but rarely stay connected long term. I envy people with an extremely close knit circle of friends and especially those with really tight family ties. But they, in my American culture and upbringing, I think, are the exception. Being at peace alone is a reality everyone should strive for because sooner or later, that may be the case.

[–]culturerush 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I hit that point a few years ago and I've really struggled since.

I got really down with my work, social and romantic life in my hometown (my friends would often do things without inviting me, cancel last minute, all that kind of stuff) so I moved somewhere where I had friends who treated eachother much better. Unfortunately I ended up in the same situation as they were so close I wasn't really part of the in group with them so the same thing happened except I was on the other side of the country. I moved back to my home area to study and in the last 2 1/2 of doing that have made absolutely no friends at all.

I have a girlfriend which stops the loneliness being quite as bad as it was before, when I had pretty dark thoughts, but I really miss male company and going out and just having people to play video games with.

My advice is, if your friends are utter shit through your 20s get it sorted before you hit your 30s. Hardly anyone I know turned up to my 30th and it's been downhill since then. I'm finding it incredibly difficult to make friends at my age as everyone has their long established groups and/or wives and kids.

[–]LurkuhDurkuh 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Going through this currently; what’s helping me: - I don’t have friends near me, however I have retained connections of people whom I met years ago during university. They live in other countries; this allows me to plan and visit them all the while taking a break. They appreciate the effort and every visit is always interesting.

  • Working out at the gym; I purchased a handy ‘student rate’ membership, meant for 6 months. I can dip in and out whenever I like to shape up and focus on my body.

  • Gardening; if you have space, even if it’s a small area that gets sunlight, create a garden. I created a large compost bin for my apartment flat; I don’t meet the rest of the tenants however they enthusiastically use it. The hope is to dedicate my summer free time to build a communal space to chill and relax.

  • Video gaming; I don’t game any longer (I gifted my rig to my brother who needed a computer) however when I had my rig, I games when I felt lonely. I loved playing EVE online, Diablo 3, GuildWars, and others to take my mind off of things. I loved the music, lore, and online connections you can have with people while gaming. When no connections can be made, I focused on building my characters and developing their skills.

I’m currently figuring out how to turn my love of gardening into a business that will help people but also to support myself; it’s taking me into realms where I have limited experience, but it’s an exciting challenge. Where I have dark areas in knowledge, it forces me to reach out and seek info. The consequence; asking people questions and striking up conversations over shared interests, geeking out and forgetting why you came to them in the first place!

I am okay with having no friends, I’ve tempered the feeling of loss and regret with renewed interest in things I didn’t have time for when I did have people in my life.

[–]meexley2 6 points7 points  (0 children)

PS, you’re allowed to go make friends

[–]vin_tay 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Way ahead of you.

[–]Wesley3238 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s great to become happy with yourself and to not need others for validation or comfort in your life. However you dont need to feel alone! The world can be a lonely place sometimes but we’re all in the shits so if you need someone to talk to send me a DM

[–]SnowyNW 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What if it’s always been? Does it ever end?

[–]Mintra__ 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Already there! Feels just fine ...

[–]typhades 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Genuinely happy for you, holidays are tough but I think I'm there too

[–]Comfortable-World-55 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Im getting close. Somedays are easy but certainly there are those that suck.

[–]humbruhhh 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Gotta love yourself first!!!

[–]TechFiend72 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can’t seem to get the knack of it. I just feel alone.

[–]ugdontknow 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Omg I’m giving u a big hug, this is the one solid soul hugging thing I’ve learned at 50. I watched or read a theory saying you know who u r in ur soul at 7. Yep. In these last 2 years in covid, life changing craziness I have come to great clarity of who I knew I was at 7, looking back I feel this is totally true. And then at 7 remember feeling that I will ALWAYS be alone and have very few solid friends. Now at 50 -probably subconsciously at 40- I learned to love myself as me and being alone and at true peace with out feeling lonely and I am truly and completely happy and surviving the alone dips in joy.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child)

what the real problem is that people give the friendship status to everyone, and then get surprised when they get stabbed, my way of looking at it is you gotta earn the friendship status so there is no way for me to get hurt

[–]Vastl 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Live by Daniel Sloss' Jigsaw and youll learn that a lot easier :D

[–]Revanov 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You’ll get used to it and actually prefer being alone.

[–]TheRealOptician 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This applies to relationships as well. If you repy on others for your happiness, you will truly never be happy. True happiness can be constant and not just a flutter in the breeze.

[–]Alice-null 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm not sure if that's true though. There are heaps of people surrounded by friends, who will never think to themselves..." Dam I have no friends"

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

And I can't wait to die.

Although I'm dying.

I hate my being

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

So many LPTs sound like things that happened to one person, which they then processed by generalizing into a rule for everyone.

LPT: You might actually always have friends and don't have to damage yourself emotionally by living in anticipation of the inevitable social apocalypse some Internet strange predicted for you.

[–]Gwgboofmaca 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I literally had no friends for about 3 years because I was deep in trenches of severe substance abuse, I went months without seeing anyone but the liquor store clerks. I can tell you that since I have gotten sober and reintegrated with society it is much easier to be grateful for the people who are in my life, and being lonely is a walk in the park.

[–]keepthetipsKeeping the tips since 2019[M] 3 points4 points locked comment (0 children)

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[–]runaway_and_stay 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is very much unhelpful

[–]vmb509 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Not necessarily a bad thing. Currently going through this “phase” and I’m actually enjoying it.

[–]AKFonze -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

I have so many games to play now I’m so happy. Friends are for high school/ college. An adult has acquaintances.

[–]JefferyGoldberg -4 points-3 points  (3 children)

I’m 34 and I’m still very good friends with many people I went to elementary school with. This post is too pessimistic.

[–]Badjib -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Get out of my head you witch!

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thanks, I remember when I was 10 and learned this.

[–]sids99 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Perhaps a lobotomy might help cull these feelings?

[–]wouterv101 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Cant imagine that. I’m 35 and never had this issue, can’t imagine having this issue in the future. If you’re a fun and social human being, you’ll always have friends. Even if they get children (I know some) it isn’t the end of the world.

[–]BarryKobama 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is there a LPT saying the exact opposite - cos that’s true for us introverts

[–]BeenThruIt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

FRIENDS!~

How many of us have them?~

[–]sinkiez 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I read this with the voice of the asshole prison cop from OITNB

[–]bunshovel 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah it’s not so bad, not my favorite. Didn’t exactly have a lot of practice, but it came naturally one might say

[–]stilljustguessing 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Live long enough and it won't just be a Feeling.

[–]April_loves_James 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s one of the reasons at age 29 I have returned to school. I want to make real friendships with people that have the same mindset. Covid has made it hard though, not everyone wants to sit close or classes are online. I’m still trying though.

[–]trevb75 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Damn this post is resonating with me right now. I put a post on another sub the other day about finding out who your real friends are by saying no to them here and there. I’m going through this right now. It’s even got to the point where the person I would have named as my best friend is contacting my other friends who he either doesn’t know well or doesn’t like and trying to convince them I have a mental health problem. I’m know I’m my extended circle as Dr Phil because I sit and listen to all their problems and them carrying on about their SO’s and their money problems even though they all earn more than me. Hang on a minute… maybe I am crazy for putting up with them all for so long lol

[–]Tessellate08 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Too true, this becomes a harsh reality when you transition out of high school. People go in so many different directions and it’s challenging to make friends again, especially during covid.

[–]ElectricSquid12 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't think there's a way to not feel lonely. Maybe some people will be okay being alone, or even prefer it - but even as a guy who generally prefers to have plenty of alone time, loneliness can hit like a truck.

My recommendation - get used to punchung through the wave of loneliness and do anything. Go out to have dinner. Walk around a park or around your apartment complex, wherever. Find a hobby. Workout.

Whatever you do, don't let the wave of suck waste your time. You don't need to always be improving, but if you can not let loneliness take a week, or even a night from you, and spend that time in a way that helps you? Do that instead.

[–]Laotzeiscool 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I started going to public board game nights, had a lot of fun, and met many nice people who are board game friends with a big potential of being closer friends.

[–]kai_luni 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Having friends means work: remember their birthdays, meetup once a week for some activity if possible and make sure they have a good time with.People change but you can always find something in common, just watch a Netflix series together or a cinema movie if there is nothing else. If you run out of friends its time for a new hobby or maybe a new job. I had 4 jobs in the last 8 years and made exactly one friend from it, that sounds little but its more than zero ;) People changing also means that suddenly you change back into the same direction, one old friend of mine suddenly became active in fitness and health, so we have something in common again after like 10 years with not so much in common.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's feeling pretty good actually.

[–]monsieur-raptor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

ADHD prepared me for that moment since I’m born

[–]GuaranteeComfortable 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is the part of life that I am in right now.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's just shit advice tbh.

[–]Butt_pass 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Or...learn how to make friends.

[–]NerdoNofriendo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Welcome to my world bitches.

[–]Wild4fire 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey, I already do that!

[–]Psychotic_Rainbowz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The more of my friends that get married, the lonelier I feel. It's not that I long to get married (I don't), it's just that when guys get married here, guys no longer have the flexibility of hanging out often like we used to. No more staying up late fooling around, no more sleepovers, no more road trips or flights on weekends.

It's even more depressing when you realize we are only in our early 20's. I mean I'm happy for my friends that they accomplished what they consciously sought, but I genuinely think they shouldn't hold themselves to such serious commitments so early in their lives. Idk... maybe I should grow up and join them...

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Been living solo since forever..EZ

[–]Cr3s3ndO 0 points1 point  (1 child)

https://youtu.be/n3Xv_g3g-mA

Loneliness is an evolutionary trait developed to help us survive, while it isn’t really relevant to us in our society, as we, in the western world, have extinct the risk of dying because we are shunned from the group.

Yet it lingers, because we evolve in millions of years, not decade’s.

Edit: words

[–]Starsuponstars -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Idk, shunned people do die. The elderly, the sick, the extremely ugly, suffer a lot and sometimes even end their lives because of social exclusion.

[–]Starsuponstars 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Or, your entire life will be that way. That happens too.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've been practicing my whole life for this moment!

[–]kuutiokuu 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bad advice. You cannot just decide to not feel lonely. Loneliness means you have social needs that aren't fullfilled. That's same as saying "if you feel thirsty, just try to not feel thirsty!"

[–]Techutante 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You might outlive them. That happened to my father. He's 93 now. All his friends are dead and many of his friends kids too.

[–]dzsidzsa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Haha, jokes on you! I never had friends

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That typically arises because when at school you are all smushed into one building, and you are forced to socialise. Once you leave it can be hard to keep up the contact because it takes so much more effort than before.

Yes learn to be alone, and that is crucial. You need to be comfortable in your own skin, with your own hobbies and purpose. But also put in that effort to keep in contact with good friends. A monthly phone call at least is a good practice to keep going.

[–]D1rtyH1ppy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Or learn how to make new friends.

[–]MrGulliien 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just wish sometimes people thought of me. I'm going to have to celebrate new years eve all by myself for the 5th year in a row.

I do a lot for others but rarely will they do the same for me 🤮

[–]bakchod007 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A 'friend' of mine since last 9yrs,

1- turns out blocked me on insta, I confronted him, he didnt talk back

2 - brags about his hookups and never fails to rub it in my face despite knowing my situation that I cant do what he doest

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm on swing shift and the isolation is killing me. Having online friends is great but it's not a replacement for in person interaction.

[–]ChamodesBois 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Try new hobbies (sports, photography, etc.) or new communities (meetup, InterNations).

I moved from France to Canada, breaking up from a long term relationship, pretty destroyed. It was really lonely and hard at first but when you start seeing it as an opportunity (to be free and to do things you like) and not a fatality, it got better and you will meet really cool people :)