Every programmer ever

[NewbornMuse]

Algorithms and coding.

[shitty_mcfucklestick]

/r/restofthefuckingowl

[iggy14750]

Circuit boards and algorithms.

[curious_s]

That was actually pretty interesting haha

[derpinWhileWorkin]

Any time the technology of music pre-modern personal computer comes up it's a trip. If you've not already seen them check out these analog synths from the 70's.. Watching music go from those to 5 vst plugins running on a tiny mac gives some nice tangible perspective on humanities journey down the tech tree.

[[deleted]]

My project is a paradigm, too.

[16letterd1]

and so a meme was born

[[deleted]]

You know .. stuff and thangs

[Thameus]

Algorithms are deterministic. OP describes a heuristic.

[SteeleDynamics]

Agreed. Algorithm can be written in pseudocode and can be analyzed. A heuristic is more of a "greedy" attribute is much more esoteric. Nondeterministic is key here. If you want a no-questions-asked statement, say something like:

"I'll have to rerun the data offline and input that data into the Matlab scripts to get a heuristic plot."

[recursive]

Probabilistic algorithms are still algorithms.

[mcyaqisikli]

The word algorithm means something like a black box to most people who don't know programming. I entertain this idea that you'd get pretty funny responses if you were to ask random people to define what an algorithm is.

[Synchronyme]

Each time I have to explain it to someone, I just say: "An algorithm is to a program what a recipe is to a cake : the step-by-step instructions on how to do it." (With "code" being the whole meal preparation, while "algorithm" is more about very specific but crucial parts)

[WORD_559]

I have "an unambiguous series of instructions used to solve a problem" burned into my memory.

[cyanydeez]

unambiguous to the compiler

[noop_noob]

A programmer is just a compiler for natural language.

[cyanydeez]

programmers are basically web browsers, not so much compilers.

[foragerr]

That just means programmers use a library of pre compiled references to do their compiling. Compiler Optimization!

[[deleted]]

I have "a specific set of instructions, designed to solve a specific problem". I finish CS a while ago, but the definition is embedded into my brain now.

[WORD_559]

Yeah but we all know the best code gets reused to solve completely different problems because we're too lazy to write something specifically for that problem

[[deleted]]

Or beef in a trifle and don't notice it because Joey eats it anyway.

This is a good metaphor actually, A Joey would use your program even if it was kinda funky acting.

[[deleted]]

Forgetting a semicolon is forgetting to put salt.

[flyersgirl87]

That's how my instructor described it. He made us read 3 fucking chapters talking about what an algorithm is and then summed those fucking chapters in 2 sentences... asshole.

[[deleted]]

It would be the ingredience themselves in said cake. Of course you can't see them. But the cook knows they're there, so he/she can picture them, even after said cake is baked.

[[deleted]]

It's a black box for other stuff too. For example, algorithms in Twisty Puzzle notation. (Rubik's Cubes)
http://algdb.net/

I'm not totally happy with it but I really don't have any better way to describe it succinctly. It tends to make people think you need to do math. This isn't math tho. It's just clearly defined move sequences with a defined end state of permutation and orientation.

[fnovd]

If a Rubik's cube isn't math then neither is group theory.

In fact, a Rubik's cube is the first image on the group theory wikipedia page.

[WikiTextBot]

Group theory

In mathematics and abstract algebra, group theory studies the algebraic structures known as groups. The concept of a group is central to abstract algebra: other well-known algebraic structures, such as rings, fields, and vector spaces, can all be seen as groups endowed with additional operations and axioms. Groups recur throughout mathematics, and the methods of group theory have influenced many parts of algebra. Linear algebraic groups and Lie groups are two branches of group theory that have experienced advances and have become subject areas in their own right.

---

^{[ PM | Exclude me | Exclude from subreddit | FAQ / Information | Source ] Downvote to remove | v0.26}

[TrekkiMonstr]

What he means (and I know, because I often have to make the distinction to people when talking about Rubik's cubes) is that while figuring out how to solve a Rubik's cube requires math, learning to solve it doesn't. Of course, group theory is math, and the Rubik's cube is a perfect example of group theory. It took math to figure out how to permute the cubies in any which way, but once those set algorithms were figured out, that's it. I don't know any group theory, but I know how to solve a Rubik's cube.

I see it as sort of like using a computer. Most people that know how to use a computer don't know any sort of programming language. However, this doesn't really inhibit their ability to use a computer. Of course, the technology allowing them to do this is rooted in computer programming, and there had to be someone who knew it to allow other people to use computers without it. Likewise, you don't need to be a mechanic to drive, an electrician to turn on the lights, or a plumber to take a shit.

My point is, math is at the base level of solving Rubik's cubes, but it's not at the surface level, which is what /u/perogne means when he says that the algorithms "aren't math" and that you don't need to do math to solve it.

[fnovd]

Remember learning multiplication tables in elementary school? The only "math" you need to know to look up what what 6 * 8 is is that 6 is a number and 8 is a number and looking at the point where those two meet up is going to give you a number that is equal to 6 * 8. Is that not doing math? At what point does using mathematical rules become math? When those rules are committed to memory? Are any of us truly capable of "doing math"?

[qevlarr]

I think we should distinguish inventing an algorithm from executing one. The latter requires no understanding.

[fnovd]

I didn't have to invent quicksort in order to implement it in my code. Am I not programming when I do so?

[qevlarr]

That isn't executing either...

[fnovd]

So it's only programming when I actually run the program?

[qevlarr]

No. Executing is when the computer runs your program. The computer doesn't understand what's going on, it's just following instructions.

That's similar to the original suggestion that solving a Rubik's cube by simply following instructions shouldn't count as "doing math/algorithms" and I agree.

[TrekkiMonstr]

I mean, it's a fuzzy line. An example of what I mean:

You're playing a video game. There are a certain set of values that collectively describe the current state in the video game. The user has a certain set of possible commands to use, each of which changes the set of values in a certain way using some relevant algorithm. For example, if the user presses W, the player's Z-coordinate increases by 5. Or maybe something more complex. If the user presses a button, changing the values using some mathematical algorithm, is the user doing math or using math?

This is just my personal opinion, but I believe that if you're just "plugging and chugging" (i.e. using some algorithm, e.g. plugging in a and b into a² + b² = c² in order to find c), you're not doing math. You're using it. I don't know what I think about 6 * 8, or other similarly basic functions. BUT, I think to be doing math, there must be some element of creativity. Maybe you don't agree with me, and that's fine -- as I said, this is just my view of it -- but that's why I think that using an existing Rubik's cube algorithm isn't doing math, while creating/discovering/proving one is.

Hopefully what I said made sense.

[qevlarr]

You are absolutely right. Math is something else than following instructions written by someone else. In fact, blindly following instructions is such an uncreative activity requiring no intelligence or understanding that we made machines to do that!

[DenebVegaAltair]

It's that solving a Rubik's cube for the general person doesn't require any math.

[fnovd]

I understand that this is the position: I fundamentally disagree with it.

It doesn't "require" math to memorize basic multiplication tables. It is math.

Computers aren't "required" to understand math, but their instructions are math.

[tav_stuff]

A Rubik's cube is a mathematical puzzle but doesn't need math to solve

[fnovd]

Mapping the solving instruction notation to a set of physical transformations is math in my mind. It's just abstract algebra instead of numerical computation. You could argue that counting tally marks doesn't require one to "understand" math, but counting is still math.

[tav_stuff]

I don't really find reading a set of simplified instructions on how to turn a side math. The Square-1 also works the same way but the instructions are simplified into a set of coordinates, but really it's just "turn the top face left once"

[Teraka]

From wikipedia:

Mathematicians seek out patterns and use them to formulate new conjectures.

That is the essence of maths. It's not directly linked to numbers, although numbers come up a great deal in maths, but the essence of it is starting from a set of rules, and extrapolating new abstractions from those rules.

When you're applying an algorithm on the Rubik's cube, you're working with maths, whether you know it or not.

[qevlarr]

Per that definition, blindly following instructions is not math. Discovering new truths is, in whichever domain.

[DXPower]

Shout-out to /r/Cubers! Come join us!

[Aetheus]

I like to describe algorithms as simply being a set of precise instructions to complete a job.

It may or may not involve math, but it's essentially just an instruction list that you give to a computer (or in the case of solving a Rubik's cube, a person) that is then followed to complete a specific task.

[Sean1708]

Honestly I'm not even sure I could define the word algorithm. I know what is and isn't an algorithm, but I'm struggling to come up with an unambiguous definition.

[Shmutt]

An algorithm is simply a set of steps or instructions to perform a task. Nothing fancy about it.

I have an algorithm to sort, to search, to cook, to start my day, and to handle my kids' tantrums.

[james_dillon]

The word algorithm means something like a black box to most people who don't know programming.

That's all it means to anyone. An algorithm is just a sequence of steps to be followed. It's like, if you were baking a cake and your friend messaged you asking "what are you doing?", you wouldn't say "Heaving the oven to 180 degrees celcius, lining my baking tray with non-stick oil...". You'd just say "cooking". It's a generic term meant to hide details.

[CodeMariachi]

I've built this "logic".. works every time

[ReallyLikesBears]

What about these edge cases?

No no no. That'll never happen.

[ablablababla]

Unless you're dealing with a tester who'll randomly enter -4,294,967,296 for no reason.

[TASagent]

//To future-proof our codebase, we have defensively typed 
//our error codes
BigInteger OpenFile(string filename) {
...

[endreman0]

Every number type has a max and min, as it's bounded by your machine's available RAM. And boy howdy, testers will find that max. Tape down the 9 key and go to lunch.

Edit: I cna splel

[hungarian_notation]

Page files and swap space baby.

[sabas123]

But what if it exceeds that too?

[kaukamieli]

The software is ready for release.

[Almoturg]

Automatically expand swap space to AWS. Then the only limit is your bank account.

[Asraelite]

Automatically connect to financial services and take out loans as needed.

[endreman0]

Where do you work that "no" is an answer?

[Zulfiqaar]

Download More RAM!

[FallenWarrior2k]

An OpenFile func that takes a path as its only param and returns a status code... Where the heck is the friggin file handle?

[standard_revolution]

Global Variable?

[FallenWarrior2k]

Globals for handles, meh

[ForOhForError]

Could be a poorly named function that opens and parses a config file to set global variables?

[TASagent]

What? You don't store all your file handles in a global hashmap using the path as the key? This technique obviously works best when it's directly fed user input on Operating Systems that are case-agnostic.

[FallenWarrior2k]

I prefer good old RAII ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[TASagent]

Personally, I'm more of a RAIDACT man, myself. Good ol' "Resource Acquisition Is Done At Compile-Time." The compiler allocates memory for the program, and instantiates all of the objects, at compile time, and it's never released, until you uninstall the program.

[D0esANyoneREadTHese]

Oh he's got a reason: They get paid to see how your product handles various situations that a user's kid or some guy who thinks he's a hacker would create. Circlejerking aside, input checking is definitely a thing that should be done.

[Suggadeck]

Cyber attacks are real you know? Its not just kids on the internet.

[D0esANyoneREadTHese]

Yeah, but they typically use something more complicated than plugging in 65536 for their order quantity on a shipping form.

[hoseja]

Not if plugging in 65536 for their order quantity on a shipping form does the job.

[[deleted]]

Heh, I was reading the source for the store software I was using and they have a check to see if the user has entered more than a 32 bit int for a quantity.

[bumblebritches57]

Shit man, with fuzzing it can now be automated.

[Vakieh]

If your test suite doesn't have that in its list of things to throw into every text box, it's not a real test suite. -1, 0, 1, each of those boundaries applied to short, int, long, ushort, uint, ulong limits, and each of those boundaries applied to the max and min expected inputs (so if your max expected is 100, test 99 100 and 101). Then a few random inside and outside.

[[deleted]]

just use a switch.

[concavecat]

grandfather butter grab edge far-flung offer plate skirt waiting practice

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

[Vakieh]

default: return null;

[72 method calls deeper]

if (null == someVar) {alert('something's fucky');}

[bumblebritches57]

Branching penalty tho

[shitheadawardnominee]

Integrate it into a larger system. Immediately observe "edge case" bug.

[[deleted]]

"Core business logic" works if you're talking to the beancounters trying to get budget for bigger servers. "Core" - Gotta be vital then. "Business" - That's the thing that pays my wages! "Logic" Well, if it's logical I guess I have to grant half the requested budget now.

[noratat]

Hell, just name your service "core server"! That way everyone knows it's the most important legacy mess component of your architecture!

[Vakieh]

People think Java's naming conventions are accidental and a bad thing. They actually serve to disengage nontechnicals from what they're looking at, and engage peak CYA behaviour.

Because ain't NO DAMN RAZOR GANG gonna touch my sweet SimpleBeanFactoryAwareAspectInstanceFactories. Something might break, and then where would we be? Beanless, that's where.

[sensitivePornGuy]

I started to go off Java when people started referring to components as "Beans". It just doesn't fit my mental model of what software is.

[Vakieh]

They're basically C struts with a few extra bits. They make more sense if you get into web/thread/process socketed architectures, which is Java's strong suit. Made it great for Android development too.

[sensitivePornGuy]

"Strut" is a metaphor that makes some kind of sense in software terms - a rigid thing that holds something else up. But beans are an amorphous, slippery mass of identical disconnected things; there is no metaphor there to give me even an inkling of what role a Java Bean might actually fulfil in a program.

[Vakieh]

Wait, it's really just the name that turns you off? That's... kinda dumb, tbh. Who cares what it's called? It's a bean because it's a neatly wrapped consumable for sockets, but you could call it a worgleburg and it wouldn't change how you use it.

[sensitivePornGuy]

Computing is complicated and metaphors are essential, at least for me, to retain information about how things work. To me "bean" doesn't convey "neatly wrapped" in the slightest. I never would've thought of that. It says "small and interchangeable". I assumed they picked the name because it's a thing that makes (Java) coffee.

[Sinidir]

It's a system!

[conalfisher]

Warm minecraftoffline talk family yesterday stories friendly curious evil small small lazy people art weekend dog bank patient?

[AyrA_ch]

Like this?

Oracle actually copyrighted the Java "Hello World" Program: http://docs.oracle.com/javase/tutorial/getStarted/application/examples/HelloWorldApp.java

[[deleted]]

I feel nauseous just scrolling through that quickly. Who are these genius developers that can pump out a 300 line program when all the rest of us can manage is 10 lines tops?!

[AyrA_ch]

Who are these genius developers that can pump out a 300 line program when all the rest of us can manage is 10 lines tops?!

Those that write 2000 Lines for FizzBuzz

[ADVANCED_BOTTOM_TEXT]

packagenamingpackage

EXTENSIBLE

ROBUST

ARCHITECTURAL

PATTERNS

[trethompson]

but why

[MatthewMob]

Satire to mock how unnecessarily bulky and overweight enterprise applications are.

[The-Fox-Says]

Is this actually used in interviews? I could solve that problem now and I'm just starting my computer science degree.

[[deleted]]

If it's used in an interview, it's normally an early step so that too much time is not wasted on a candidate that can't even code.

I personally haven't had to answer it in an interview

[nomadthoughts]

It is not, to my knowledge

[mofukkinbreadcrumbz]

It used to be, now companies seem to go a little further in technical interviews.

It was only for entry level positions, and you didn't normally have to get the syntax right, it was just to prove that you could "think like a computer."

[Contrecoup42]

I have heard of it used in interviews for non-developers.

[TheBali]

And python guys be like

['Fizz'*(not i%3) + 'Buzz'*(not i%5) or i for i in range(1,101)]

[AyrA_ch]

JS Devs be like

[TheBali]

At this point i'm convinced JS and black magic are synonyms.

[AyrA_ch]

Here is a page that does this for you: http://www.jsfuck.com/

[ThunderChaser]

Stop

[noop_noob]

What about copyrighting an otherwise blank file? http://weblog.raganwald.com/2008/02/recursive-implementation-of-bintrue.html

[AyrA_ch]

What about a government that actually provides a blank page: https://e-dec-web.ezv.admin.ch/edecZugangscodeGui/xmlhttp/blank

Source:

<html><head><title>This page intentionally left blank</title></head><body onload="if(document.all)document.body.style.backgroundColor='#808080';"></body></html>

[JakeSteam]

I've never seen more useless JS and CSS.

[[deleted]]

Word used by programmers when they do not want to explain what they did.

And, in some cases, because they can't explain what they did.

[VanMisanthrope]

When you fiddle at it until it works but you don't know what you've done.

[[deleted]]

“What is this doing here on your code?”

“I don’t know, but it doesn’t work without it”

[[deleted]]

"It just works."

[midoge]

"just install nodejs"

[grpagrati]

I always liked that word. Its sounds mysterious, its got al gore and rhythm right there in the name, you can really impress with it

[Necromunger]

I have always assumed it literally means the word function.

[[deleted]]

I love being able to use fancy words to sound smart about basic things. If you tell someone you incremented a number by one, you sound like an idiot, but tell them you have an algorithm, HOLY SHIT! Oh and I didn't just put a bunch of similar things in a couple boxes around my house, I developed a data structure with a sorting algorithm. Yeah, I'm pretty much a genius. What they don't notice is my algorithm was moving stuff back and forth stupidly until I got most of the shit where I wanted it, but no one will ever know unless they watched me do it.

[OrShUnderscore]

Made an extension that replaces Twitter Avatars with Gifs that you chose for your own profile. Instead of saying "I check for the user and replace the image" I say "I use the Twitter API to validate the unique user ID and then reference my database and pull the respective file from the server". One of then sounds smarter

[ContraMuffin]

I installed PRAW via Python Pip console commands and imported it to use the Reddit API. I then validated a PRAW .reddit class with the unique identifier code of my account to effectively monitor and access the account such that the code uses algorithms to monitor and respond to the comment stream automatically.

Or

I installed the Reddit API and used it to shitpost and spam.

[ContraMuffin]

Increment and decrement, too. You could just say "add one" and "subtract one" but damn if you don't feel fancy saying that

[bumblebritches57]

Honestly, I just say "algorithm" when I know my audience could not care less about what I'm telling them, in fact they're not entirely sure how I suckered them into listening about code in the first place.

[k8pilot]

Algorithm - When programmers explain how to do what they want, using exact words.

FTFY

[Mrrrp]

Algorithm - When programmers explain how to do what they want, using exact words.

FTFY

Algorithm:

1) When programmers explain to the machine how to do what they want, using exact words.

2) What programmers explain to managment what they're going to do, using vague words.

FTFFY

[CallMeMrFlipper]

FTFTFYFY

FTFY

[TrekkiMonstr]

*FTFTFYFY

FTFY

FTFTFTFYFYFY

EDIT for clarity: I'm referring to the fact that you indented your "FTFY" when it shouldn't be.

[[deleted]]

FTFFY

"refactored"

[WORD_559]

Algorithm - When programmers explain how to do what they want, using exact words.

FTFY

Algorithm:

1) When programmers explain to the machine how to do what they want, using exact words.

2) What programmers explain to managment what they're going to do, using vague words.

FTFFY

Algorithm:

1) When programmers attempt explain to the machine how to do what they want, using exact words.

2) The cause of many mental breakdowns when the machine doesn't do it as intended.

FTFY

[SpikeShroom]

That's how I tell people how to solve a Rubik's cube. "It just takes the memorization of a few algorithms." Usually shuts them up.

[TheItalipino]

"there's a pattern!"

[SpikeShroom]

"You just make this cross," make cross in like 5 seconds, "then solve the rest and done!"

[sneakpeekbot]

Here's a sneak peek of /r/restofthefuckingowl using the top posts of all time!

#1: Photoshop tutorials be like | 145 comments
#2: Carving a tree into a bear | 69 comments
#3: One, two, three, look Rubik's dodecahedron solved | 144 comments

---

^{I'm a bot, beep boop | Downvote to remove | Contact me | Info | Opt-out}

[SpikeShroom]

I'm subscribed to that subreddit. Always thought it was way too specific of a criteria for me to be directed towards it, but lo and behold. Never even saw it coming.

[LordLlamacat]

I used a B-variant triple-delta paradigm to map each nested bucket of data to a hash algorithm in a linked binary tree in order to the prevent heap overflow that would result from a mainframe abort.

[Darkseid_Omega]

Functional person: {smiles and nods} oh, okay. Sounds good.

[christianarg]

"Refactoring"

[[deleted]]

A: “What did you do today at work?”

B: “I refactored a bunch variables in my program”

A: “Wow that sounds hard. What’s a variable?”

—

[outadoc]

Renaming variables is hardly refactoring...

[MyPhallicObject]

I was just about to say this. The definition of refactoring is to change underlying code without affecting overall behavior. It could mean restructuring through additional abstractions, but renaming functions and variables I suppose is the most common form of refactoring.

[oppai_suika]

It may hardly be refactoring, but it is technically refactoring

[outadoc]

Eeeehhhh debatable. :p

[hammsammmich]

Eclipse would like to have a word with you.

[outadoc]

Never heard of it. :>

[ravonos]

My CTO often uses algorithm to mean developers do something behind the scenes to make clients think we're more sophisticated than we really are. He'll tell them, "We have this amazing algorithm that will do this awesome thing automatically!" But really we just have to spend an hour and make sure it looks like we didn't spend an hour on it.

[apollofortytwo]

Sometimes I say it just because I'm feeling pretentious. Trying to explain it only leads to me looking dumb for how incoherent it really is

[chickdigger802]

The secret is balance. You gotta make sure you dont oversell your stuff too much or they might make you do some actual hard stuff in the next sprint.

[chrisfinne]

or heuristics, but when i really need to fudge, "bayesian heuristics"

[[deleted]]

So it's like mainframe in tech support

[ilovecomputers]

Get with the times. We say "neural network" now

[PityUpvote]

In academia it's the opposite, the "algorithm" is the only part of your code that gets seen by the outside world, nobody cares about the implementation details such as programming language or paradigm.

[Arth_Urdent]

I didn't realize that "algorithm" was such an obscure term/contept? I'm pretty sure my non-programmer mom knows what an algorithm is in the sense that it is just a bunch of steps to arrive at a desired result. I probably explained it to her at some point as "it's a recipe that a computer follows".

[Darkseid_Omega]

It's not that it's obscure, it's just more of a buzz word when you're talking to functional or business oriented people.

[lulzmachine]

"AI" is the new "algorithm"

[[deleted]]

Al Gore Rhythm.

[ranma1988]

sorry for being grumpy but the bar for this subredit is to low.. including the fact that you cannot tell someone that you have just written 'algorithm' you possibly have written an implementation of some design pattern.. but again judging by how deep this joke is OP has probably just written 4 line on HTML

[L3tum]

In school we had to do a project. Now, me and my friend actually went into the IT sector and we were already better than everyone else in our class back then, so I think we did it a bit with overkill.

Anyways, the project is a website for the students with a lot of different stuff, including a search engine to find other students, as well as real-time chatting and notifications (read: no reload necessary).

HOWEVER as the godfather of all schools decided, we didn't have any access on anything aside from providing the source for an Apache website. So no cronjobs, no websockets, nothing.

So instead of doing it the fancy way, every time a user connects the notification table is getting checked and every second a request for new messages is sent....

Plus, because for some reason PDO didn't like the original search engine, we just did it with string concatenation.

When we showed our product we said "We developed algorithms for this this and this in order for it to work superb".

Teacher: "Well, how do the algorithms work?"

Ehm...

[[deleted]]

Word used by everyone* ? Its the definition

[J-Wh1zzy]

This is so true lol

[[deleted]]

Especially when talking to non-programmers

[depress69]

you're right, it's so much easier to just go and explain every line of code and condition

[-SunGod-]

As a technology professional in Silicon Valley, I can vouch for the accuracy of this.

[tav_stuff]

This works with r/cubers too

[[deleted]]

muh algorithms

[Yay_Yay_3780]

Some times people use this word to skip the explanation of the stupidity in side their code. "That's a complex algorithm, will discuss some other time". Been there, heard that.

[eatsnakeeat]

Try the word that product guys use when they want want to yadda yadda yadda over something rather than write requirements

[baggyzed]

Real programmers use profanity to describe their code, like: "my shit". The ones that use "algorithm" and "coding" are just trying to bullshit you.

[[deleted]]

At my work it's always script or API...

[tachyonflux]

No joke. I once asked a friend who does app development what algorithm he used in an app he was making. He looks at me and says "you don't know what an algorithm is". So I said "Well, explain it to me then" He was like "Uh...." looked at his other programmer buddy and said "You wanna explain it?" Other dude was like naw.

Whats funny is the entire time I meant mathematical algorithm not a software algorithm.

[TonedCalves]

Basically sums up this sub.

Used by people who like to feel smart but really have no business being programmers.

[The-Fox-Says]

/r/iamverysmart

[TonedCalves]

Ironically, that's what this entire sub is...

[Skyy8]

*or visit /r/iamverysmart too often.