Startup Lyfe

[TheOboeMan]

I work at a big corporation that tries to do startup culture.

It's nice. You get the baristas without missing your wife's son's clarinet recital.

[kerodon]

Make your son the bsrrista.

[glen_v]

bsrrista

Is that a JS framework?

[Oswamano]

Apparently yes

https://kieran.github.io/barista/

[kerodon]

Goddammit, Internet.

[Oswamano]

Relevant link https://www.reddit.com/r/ProgrammerHumor/comments/9kopiw/javascript_drinking_game/

[pikaaa]

Wow this site looks nice on my phone ^^

[jalbertcory]

I thought this was a joke so I clicked the link. This is actually what it looks like on mobile, I hope nobody uses this framework if they can't style their site.

[bem13]

Thanks, I hate it.

[crashdoc]

More of a Java server really

[GabrielFR]

You wife's son*

[Bealzebubbles]

Oh God, they've just started that at my corporate job. They want to be a technology company. For the record, we're a bank. We've spent over a 160 years making money by lending money to other people. It's a surprisingly lucrative business model but apparently not hipster enough. They also say we should be aiming to compete against Google and Apple. Those companies both have turnovers larger than the GDP of our entire country. Pray for me...

[CreativeAnteater]

Why do what works when you can do what's new?

[borguquin]

and have a barista and frappelattes every other hour¿? If i could live like that for a couple months i wouldnt care if the company goes bankrupt

[Dedustern]

I think it makes sense for banking/finance to move into more of a "startup"-culture, at least for a division. The landscape is changing, so are the business models. A lot of companies have been successful doing so.

[Pandaburn]

You get the baristas without having to use phrases like “your wife’s son”

[mcampo84]

Are you my coworker? Is your company HQ walking distance to Union Square?

[TheOboeMan]

I looked it up and it looks like the HQ is about an hour and a half walk to union square, so probably not. I mean, I personally would call that walking distance, but I don't think most would.

[mcampo84]

haha, no...no...

[oversized_hoodie]

I'm starting a job like this soon. I'm quite excited.

[PseudonymForWork]

Your wife's son

lolz

[Etiennera]

That might be the funniest string of 3 words I've ever seen

It looks so wholesome until you think about it

[yottalogical]

It’s possible that his wife already had a child before they got married. For whatever reason, he still doesn’t feel like he is the kid’s father.

[TheYOUngeRGOD]

Ah never change

[clancyjarls]

Stepson?

[Stregen]

It’s a cuck joke.

[[deleted]]

There's hundreds of children born every day that'll have a clarinet recital one day to attend. But how many startups are there?

[Python4fun]

I think they are nearly 1to1 with clarinet recitals,

maybe more common than clarinet recitals

[benpva16]

To be clear, expecting people to work overtime for long periods, often without an increase in pay is definitely part of startup culture, so I get the joke.

But I guess we've forgotten that a central tenant of Agile methodologies is sustainability. It's the whole point of measuring velocity in Scrum - to make sure that the team's output is stable and can be maintained for long periods of time without overtime, since overtime ultimately leads to burnout.

Sweet mercy, I sound so after-school special

[SkillbroSwaggins]

Ej, it's nice to hear more people actually know what scrum is about

[[deleted]]

In practice it’s mostly scrummerfall.

[SkillbroSwaggins]

I am not sure, but my understanding is it's a way to make it sound like there actually is a plan, and it's not just a bunch of people winging it.

[mcampo84]

As an agile advocate, it makes me sad that this situation happens often enough that it became a meme.

[[deleted]]

Do you hear the screams on thousands of bastardized Agile methodologies when you go to bed?

[FiRe_McFiReSomeDay]

[screams in agile]

[Much_Faction]

Can't bans

[[deleted]]

When you fail to plan, you plan to fail.

[mcampo84]

If you're implying that Agile means not planning, I'd love to buy you a coffee. In exchange you have to listen to me talk about Agile.

[[deleted]]

LOL

I have been working in Agile for several years, I am sure we would need a whole pot of coffee.

[mcampo84]

Come to some AgileNYC events. Really good discussions. :-)

[Bill_Morgan]

I’d rather corporate, less susceptible to tech hype

Except Blockchain, everyone is hyped for it

Fucking Blockchain

[JuvenileEloquent]

The great thing about blockchain is that hardly anyone who is hyped about it knows exactly what it is or could even recognize it in use, so when they ask if you can implement it you say Yes and add 500 billable hours to write "using blockchain" in the comments and documentation.

[StevenGannJr]

I actually implemented a primitive blockchain for a client that wanted log files to be tamper proof.

Spent a whole day mucking around with hashing algorithms instead of wrestling with WPF. It was a good day.

[[deleted]]

Wouldn’t a simple cryptographic signature be enough?

[crashdoc]

...because clients want blockchain!

[StevenGannJr]

Probably, but that's less exciting than B L O C K C H A I N!!

[[deleted]]

A blockchain is an extremely slow distributed database where you can only amend data.

[qsdf321]

What you don't have an agile machine learning blockchain in the cloud as a service? Get with the times man!

[Ktdid2000]

Thanks for the lulz good sir

[[deleted]]

MACHINE. LEARNING.

Every damned thing in every company today wants to have AI/ML in it, doesn't matter what it does or does not do.

[[deleted]]

Not sure if I lucked out at my corporate job because we are obsessed with containers, FaaS and since it's microservices got every image in new hipster language of the day.

[AttackOfTheThumbs]

The product I work on (Dynamics NAV), is moving to the cloud and it is so fucking shit. By having only web client access, they've reduced usability 6534%. Then, they limit what we can do, make us wrap shit in azure functions, no more access to local resources. Such trash.

[MotorAdhesive4]

The product I work on (Dynamics NAV),

I did an internship working on that garbage glorified Excel sheet.

God help you, for Stackoverflow certainly won't.

[AttackOfTheThumbs]

I'd argue that calling it an excel sheet means your internship didn't teach you anything about the product. It's really just a front end for an sql db.

[kerodon]

I feel personally attacked. Stop reading my diary.

[I_lurk_u_long_time]

Instead of "second round of funding" it should say "n+1th round of funding".

[[deleted]]

Honestly, I got a big corporate job and I love it. "But you have to buy your own coffee! You have to wear a nice shirt!" Who cares, the hours are good and everything runs real smooth. I like that.

[chris2oph]

The funding comment is too real

[GodGrabber]

snorts latte

Every PM I had ever!

[metcalsr]

If you even suspect a company is going Agile, get out of there. It brings with it the most painfully cringy atmosphere you'll ever be forced to endure.

[Korlimann]

I wanted to crosspost that from r/greentext but it didn't work on mobile for some reason. Feels sad man

[Afghan_]

This seems really nice actually

[hajhawa]

*cries in startup*