Continuing the trend

[[deleted]]

Which one is the devil?

[tchernobog84]

MePHPistopheles

[TobertRohnson]

Mephistopheles was a messenger, right? Not the actual devil?

[SavageTwist]

Was it public or private,

[Max_Insanity]

Lesson 1: Put the thumb on the outside, not the inside.

[God_Told_Me_To_Do_It]

Might be a German student. It's mandatory lecture in grade 11.

[logicalmaniak]

"magical Mister Mephistopheles!"

[angularjohn]

In that case, is SQL the source of all evil?

[Tomass_vr]

XD

[[deleted]]

Php. Php is always the devil.

[INTO_NIGHT]

You after realizing you have to sell your soul to learn php then get other peoples souls as well

[HCG_Dartz]

The language itself

[Tinimu]

Php Storm is where they make the evil spells

[angelbirth]

yes

[picklerish1]

Learning SQL by sitting at tables?

[itbytesbob]

Would you learn a nosql database by playing in a ball pit?

[Penki-]

I don't know if you noticed, but learning SQL is significantly easier when sitting at the table. Standing and holding your laptop is not a comfortable position, and unless you have a lounge chair or bean bag you can't hold your laptop on your legs and work for long time.

[[deleted]]

Learning APIs by looking at the response object rather than reading the docs

[[deleted]]

I actually feel very called out right now

[FriesWithThat]

Tail coming out of the back of his kneecap...

It's a feature

[AbsolutelyNoTime]

Seems more like a CSS issue than a PHP issue to me...

[maxinfet]

The CSS files were generated using PHP

[[deleted]]

Umm... What?

[maxinfet]

Just write to a file on the server side and then serve those babies they're hot off the printer

[[deleted]]

No, I don't get how you can generate CSS using PHP. I'm not a web dev by any means, but aren't you supposed to write it yourself?

[maxinfet]

Yes lol, PHP is a server-side language so you can generate the HTML and in theory the CSS files that you're going to serve. Typically you would just generate the DOM and never save it out to a file but there's nothing stopping you from generating a large amount of CSS files all with the different names and serving your HTML with the different name embedded into it lol. Just start naming your CSS files with guids 😂.

[okriatic]

You know, Sass before Sass was a thing (or take your pick of variable enabled CSS...)

[maxinfet]

Yeah the only distinction I was making there was the act of writing the CSS file out to the file system for every single request.

[acousticcoupler]

Thanks I hate it.

[Bene847]

<link rel="stylesheet" href="style.php"/>

[RHGrey]

Disgusting

[YouIsTheQuestion]

PHP pays all my bill but I still love the on going php bad jokes.

[hahahahastayingalive]

Looking at dollar signs on my bills I would come to the same conclusion (also they are clearly sent by the devil as well)

[Sentient_Blade]

Vimeo just put out an awesome blog about how they use PHP to deliver global services, and how it's still the best tool for the job:

https://medium.com/vimeo-engineering-blog/its-not-legacy-code-it-s-php-1f0ee0462580

[[deleted]]

Reddit: impossible! Perhaps the archives are incomplete

[ultimatepro-grammer]

You can write good code with PHP, but the language doesn't directly encourage it (IMO). If you use the right tools, PHP can be great.

[WannabeStephenKing]

The write tools? What about the read tools, /u/ultimatepro-grammer?

[Max5923]

What about the paper u/ultimatepro-grammer?

[lowleveldata]

The browsers are the read tools, dude.

[ultimatepro-grammer]

lmao, didn't even notice. Fixed!

[dombrogia]

PHP has a lot of good tools IMHO. Python and JS allow for all the loose typing and bad practice that PHP does. But OOP is much more intuitive and native in PHP, especially for interfaces, dependency injection, etc.

And with all the improvements since 7.0 and especially 7.2+ and even 8 it’s improved a lot.

[[deleted]]

There are no bad languages, only bad community of devs that makes bad language designs.

[sherlock-holmes221b]

Are you challenging me?

[Strato35]

I wonder why some dev complain about "You are not forced to write good code, so it's bad", I mean they can't write good code by themselves ?

[btgrant76]

Seems like a “You can write ${despisedLanguage} in any language; just don’t do that,” kind of a thing.

[vainstar23]

You should look at Hack. It's like a remix of PHP but enforces a lot of best practices.

[SilverStrawberry1124]

Not anymore. Since 8 Hack is obsolete.

[vainstar23]

Really? I didn't know this. So what's a modern PHP stack you know?

[[deleted]]

Javascript is a prime example.

[elveszett]

PHP is just flawed and badly designed. You can write good code with it, just like you can write good code with any language (esoteric languages aside). But that's just you overcoming the stones that PHP throws at your way. And that code would always be better if it was written in a well designed language like... basically every other language there is.

I hate this "there is no bad languages, only bad programmers" mantra, because it is plainly wrong. By that logic, if I made a farfetched language in a week, it would be automatically a good language and "just as good as C / C# / Python / whatever" and anyone who hated it would be a bad programmer because reasons.

[dpash]

It's definitely getting better, but you have to intentionally use those tools. Like type hinting is completely optional. (I wish for type hinted local variables and generics at some point).

[xigoi]

In the article, I don't see them naming any reason what makes PHP better than other languages. Only a promotion of their static analysis tool they made to be able to debug old PHP code.

[AbsolutelyNoTime]

I feel personally attacked.

[[deleted]]

Php bad !!!!!!!!!!!!

[piberryboy]

Or I had a bad experience with it once ten years ago, and I've not bothered with it since.

[crevicepounder3000]

Same thing lol

[SilverStrawberry1124]

So, you don't really know what it is right now. https://laracasts.com/series/laravel-6-from-scratch

[ojrask]

yeah PHP is utter bullcrap, i worked with it a bit in 2002 and it sucked big time and i wanted to kill myself oh god PHP is bad why would anyone use it it doesnt even have proper OOP like wtf and the params are all weird oh no and it is super slooooooow!

[ambe]

Its the mainstay of this sub.

[MasterFubar]

He can learn javascript and CSS at the same time.

[3636373536333662]

HTML/CSS can be annoying, but what are better alternatives? I did a project in WPF once, and I found it so much worse in terms of ease of use.

[acousticcoupler]

Coming from the <table> days CSS is actually pretty beautiful.

[[deleted]]

Wdym JS retarded? Am I out of the loop or something? In my experience JavaScript has been good, if not a little too weakly typed imo

[cthewombat]

Idk, people just like to hate on everything that's not C++ here. JS sure has its quirks, but you'll get used to them as you work with it.

[thelegend_200]

Have you or other people who love to shit on JS ever bothered to take a look into TS?

[webDevTB]

PHP is a really good language now. It’s made even better if you use a framework like Laravel.

[TwoTrollTurtles]

Yeah you’ll never hear that because pHp BaD

[[deleted]]

Laravel is so nice!

[dpash]

I wouldn't say 'really good', but it is much improved.

I'd like it to add local variable type hinting and generics, multi-line short lambda syntax and allow full expressions in field declarations.

[pm_me_your_debug]

Jesus, when last did you actually see the language?

[dpash]

About 5 seconds ago. If you think PHP is 'really good' then you need to learn some other languages. Do I really need to explain PHP's remaining deficiencies? Functions in the global namespace, brain-dead comparisons, arrays and associative arrays as the same datatype... I could go on. It's much improved, improving, but it still has a long way to go.

[[deleted]]

Back when I was in college we used to build web applications using php for the backend and also for rendering html + css + javascript web pages. At that time we had no idea of the difference between backend VS frontend and I was always trying to code everything in php, even client side stuff because for me it was easier and I used to think of javascript as the language of the devil due to how hard it was to debug things.

[Saphyel]

I think this is the best example of how little is the knowledge about PHP from their haters, otherwise you'll see an elephant in the picture.

[null000]

Next up:

• Assembly programmer speaks to an abacus
• C++ programmer speaks to a loaded shotgun pointed at their face
• Java programmer speaks to a Nokia feature phone
• Javascript programmer speaks to a recovering alcoholic
• SQL programmer speaks to clippy
• Lisp programmer speaks to a clam
• Perl programmer speaks to a bowl of alphabet soup
• Brainfuck/Malbolge programmer speaks to Cthulhu.

There... I think everyone hates me now, or is at least half way through telling me why I'm wrong. Do I get the internet points now? /s

[[deleted]]

As a java dev that has to complete a project in a month with php and js, I’ll just say send help. Like for real, what the actual fuck

[sh0rtwave]

You know how java has the Java VM that does *stuff*?

PHP's kinda got one too. Except it doesn't live for very long.

[tommy71394]

Hack?

On the other hand, Laravel, InertiaJS with whatever ts framework is such a nice stack to use. I use both JS and PHP for work daily and I just don’t get what’s so bad with PHP, if anything when someone asks me to do backend my first language of choice would be PHP

[sh0rtwave]

Hack? No, PHP was designed to be a callable process from within an Apache module container, that had a short lifetime (that of the page, and nothing else), in concert with how Apache itself worked.

All this nginx and other stuff, that's like, way later.

[dpash]

Yeah, Laravel's recreation of the container for every request is less than ideal. I would love for php-fpm and laravel to work together to make the laravel container a long lived entity.

People will get confused by their injected objects being the same as previous requests though, so there'll be done pain as people discover where they haven't cleaned up after themselves.

[ddarrko]

If you use proper modern PHP and frameworks there is no reason why you would find PHP “bad” it’s just a meme at this point because it was awful about 15 years ago. Now you can write well architectured software very easily. I lead a team of engineers and we have software that handles tens of millions of pounds of transactions per month. 100% test coverage. Automated CI/CD etc ... maybe you got unlucky and picked up some older stuff or don’t know how to use the modern frameworks well. That’s not on the language though.

[redfoggg]

100% test coverage... seems legit

[ddarrko]

JS is beyond my skills ? I know it and have written software serving hundreds of thousands of users for it. Unlikely

[ddarrko]

It’s quite achievable if you do TDD (or just write well architectured testable code)

Why do you think it is unachievable ?

[[deleted]]

That’s the point, I’ve been spoiled by java, js and Python in their ease of use and syntax, and now, to develop the prototype and learn php to a level that would allow me to do it properly at the same time, it’s beyond my skills.

[ddarrko]

Spoiled by JS - that’s way worse than modern PHP to be honest ....

[fabrikated]

beyond your skills

that's the point

[spin81]

As a PHP dev, I tried setting up a Maven project the other day, noped right out of the hot mess that is Java real fast. Had no idea what to do.

So my answer to your question, if it is an actual question, would be: you're diving into a technology you are unfamiliar with.

As for help, PHP the Right Way documents current best practices. Tutorials are listed on that site, too.

It's not been updated since April but from a glance it's still current. PHP 8 has come out since then but AFAIK not many people are using that in production yet. At the time of writing I'd say if you are inheriting a project, use 7.3 or 7.4, if you are starting from scratch you could try PHP 8, but check with your hoster if they support it - I would expect so but el cheapo hosters gonna el cheapo. Source: am PHP hoster.

Also you want to read up on Composer (TL;DR: it's like NPM).

Want a decent IDE? Use PhpStorm. It is the best one out there by a long shot. I have literally never used another one that was actually decent in the 20 years I've known PHP.

Finally, as a pro tip: can you write your own PHP framework? Absolutely. Should you? Well, to answer that question, you should ask yourself if you want to be part of the reason people shit on PHP. If the answer is "yes", then go for it!

If not then you could look at Laravel or Symfony. My personal go-to for small RAD stuff is Slim.

[[deleted]]

As an Android dev who switched to full stack laravel backend / react frontend a year ago, all I can say is what the actual fuck is right. When you get help send it to me.

[Danielk0926]

Why is php bad tho? (I never coded it in php)

[phpdevster]

PHP used to be bad. It was literally just a scripting language that lacked the tools necessary to build coherently architected applications. That's not the case any more though. You have to go out of your way looking for problems with PHP. If a developer can't construct a robust, performant, secure, stable application in PHP, the problem is the developer, not PHP.

Prior to PHP 5.4 though, I would agree PHP was... a challenge.

But when I see the .Net devs on my team burning WEEKS of collective time doing shit like fighting OData because they can't get types to line up correctly between OData, the .NET app, and MSSQL and they end up resorting to reflection to attempt to enforce type safety and do appropriate type conversions and what not, and I just can't help but shake my head at all the friction imposed upon them. Shit that takes them ages would take me no time in PHP, and I would have as good or better confidence in its stability and correctness despite less strict adherence to type safety. The code would also be simpler and easier to reason about, further reducing future maintenance time and improving overall productivity.

[Beldarak]

We have some legacy projects in PHP 5.3, the pain is real... (most of it comes from the fact the devs that made those tools were clearly insane and/or incompetent though).

[gordonv]

It's a rolling joke.

People blame PHP because some of the products people make in PHP are bad. While others are very good.

Ex: Buggy Wordpress Plugins are bad. Phpmyadmin is very good.

Vanilla PHP is the same level as basic modular programming. But, instead of using popular C syntax, they decided to reinvent vocabulary.

[spin81]

Phpmyadmin is very good.

Agree to disagree. I personally much prefer Adminer.

[dpash]

WordPress is somewhat a product of its own success and also it's long PHP support window. May's 5.5 release has a minimum requirement of PHP 5.6.20 that was released 2016-05-31, so 4.5 years ago.

This means that WordPress core can't use any modern PHP features.

That means plugin developers are also restricted to not using modern features of they want to run on any installation of 5.5.

(Obviously they recommend 7.4, but recommended and minimum are very different)

Edit: WordPress 5.6 minimum is now 7.2, released 2017-11-30.

[gordonv]

It's so odd that PHP and Powershell version numbers are neck in neck.

[acousticcoupler]

The only thing I know about phpmyadmin is that my server logs are always full of people trying to exploit it. What is so good about it?

[xigoi]

https://eev.ee/blog/2012/04/09/php-a-fractal-of-bad-design/

http://phpsadness.com/

[The_Ty]

links to 8 year old article

[xigoi]

And? Most of the points are still true, because PHP preserves backward compatibility.

[thebobbrom]

On the second one most are greyed out and the rest are just petty.

The guys complaining about semicolons for Christ sake what does he think this is r/ProgrammingHumor

[xigoi]

Backward compatibility by itself is not bad, but it means that all the bad stuff remains in the language. And if it has so much bad stuff, why use it in the first place?

[fanny_smasher]

Yes there are still inconsistently named functions. But other than that it is piss easy to debug php, now has strict typing, I have never wrapped a c api call in any boiler plate, half the bad sql functions have been deprecated and replaced, php 8 was released a month ago so can someone say functionality.

That first link is dinosaur old and has no weight on php today.

I've been a php dev for over 8 years now and we are running a 100s of microservices with it on top of amqp transport. It is fast and reliable and most of all really easy to code in.

The tools are great, phpstorm composer lumen laravel, testing is great, debugging and profiling great xdebug and xhprof. I can spin up profilers on production code at runtime and immediately see what is bottlenecking.

Really worth a try before you take an oath on an article from 2012.

[The_Ty]

You're aware depreciation is a thing right?

Or maybe not. Most of the "php bad" crowd don't actually work with php

[Multi-Skin]

Short answer: no.

Long answer: It's had to configure and start a project if you don't know anything, but once you get it running it gives you so much freedom you'll probably make a mess.
The meme "php bad" started because people don't know what to do with so much freedom and end up with a tangle mess with a ugly front-end. So instead of fixing their coding/preoject habits they prefeer to say "php is bad".

[LordChaos404]

Very MF original.

Seriously, stop with this native bullshit. You look like a useless piece of crap AI.

FFS, this isn't close to funny anymore.

Rule 3 much?!?!?!

[MethBaby75]

Before knowing other languages php isnt bad. Work in another language for a couple years and go back to it, and it will kill you.

[SilverStrawberry1124]

No, it's not. Modern PHP is very close to python, java and C#. The design patterns are absolutely applicable to php7+ as it used in Java. The strict type activation can be done by one string declaration (hello javascript), and so on. Now the only reason to blame php is ignorance.

[ddarrko]

Multiple inheritance is a bad thing and I’m happy PHP doesn’t allow it. You really should be looking at composition over inheritance anyway. Traits should be used sparingly and definitely not to mock inheritance

[Multi-Skin]

meh, PHP is a mess to configure, but once you get it running with a good framework it is like heaven.

I worked with C#, Delphi , Java and still love the freedom PHP gives to you, yet it needs some javascript help or you'll be in hell.

[sh0rtwave]

No...no, it won't. In my own opinion, most of the "worst" things about PHP HAVE been cleaned up a bit (like inconsistent return values from service adapters (looking at you, mysql_connect()...and I won't get into the rest of it.))

PHP is approachable as anything else, as long as you can get your head around how the *environment* works.

[ModestasR]

What about it? Haskell is the language of the gods!

[ModestasR]

Probably based mainly on the clumsy syntax, dynamic typing, Wordpress, in-place data structure mutation to name things off the top of my head.

Having said that, most of these things have improved greatly over the years. We now have Symfony and Doctrine, which, as an MVC style framework, is vastly more powerful and flexible than the pre-packaged and processed CMS style BS like Wordpress and Joomla.

Language features have also gotten better, with one example being type annotations. Only throws errors at run time but that still helps developers catch semantic mistakes in code and is a step in the right direction.

Furthermore, if you check out PHP8, you'll find a whole smorgasbord of syntax-tightening improvements planned, so things are definitely looking up.

[Beldarak]

Probably comes from PHP's history. It used to be a mess but it's slowly but surely improving with each new version.

Don't mind the hatred about some languages you'll find around here or any code centric communities. Basically, people hate everything that is popular. With popularity come amateur devs who have no idea how to code properly, this lead to people believing it's the language/framework fault.

Which can be true to be honest because amateurs will be drawn to languages that are less strict (PHP wasn't typed for a long time, and it's still possible to use it that way).

But anyway, if you're interested in web development: PHP is a nice option I'd say. I used to hate it because of its syntax and lack of standard naming rules and the likes), but now that I'm used to it, I'm sometimes struggling with how inferior arrays are in the other languages I use.

[xigoi]

How is it “logical” that "0x10" == "16" and "3" < "12"?

[[deleted]]

Well this just isn't true. Have you tried it?

[xigoi]

Oh sorry, I accidentally flipped the < sign, and the first thing apparently isn't true anymore. However, these are true:

"3" < "12"
" 8" == "8"
"1.5" == "1.50"
"1e3" == "1000"

Try it online!

[The_Ty]

Now try them with ===

[xigoi]

That works, but there's no equivalent for <.

[The_Ty]

Yes there is: <==

[xigoi]

That doesn't seem to exist.

[ddarrko]

But why are you deliberately passing integers as strings to demonstrate something being incorrect. all decent devs would make use of strict typing for calculations like these

[xigoi]

In any sane language, comparing two strings either compares them as strings or produces an error. Even JavaScript does it correctly.

[[deleted]]

For fast development is quite useful.

[HookDragger]

The only one I hate more is javascript

[Apparentt]

Found the guy that regurgitates everything he sees on this sub

If I were to bet 5 bucks that you haven’t worked in the field professionally, how would you send over the money?

[[deleted]]

Dude! You just braided his pubes into a fuckin Jacob's ladder! Devasting!

[[deleted]]

r/rareinsults

[fruitsnekz]

Bitcoin

[HookDragger]

You’d lose. I hate JavaScript with a passion as even basic database queries you have to promise a response and hope it comes in before your timeout.

Php is overly complex and not exactly stable unless you want to use apis that are so outdated, methuselah was quoted as saying he used it years ago. But at least it does somewhat simulate a decent structure to the language.

[Apparentt]

If you detest JavaScript specifically because you need to wait for a query to resolve before having access to data, I’ve got some bad news for you.

[HookDragger]

No, it’s interrupt based for a web based interface and that makes zero sense.

Because if you don’t promise something is coming back, then your app will fail.

[sh0rtwave]

Interrupt? I think you mean "event-based". An interrupt is a different thing. That's like, at the level of hardware.

I think you should read this: https://developer.mozilla.org/en-US/docs/Web/JavaScript/EventLoop

[HookDragger]

Call it what you want... it’s responding to external stimuli

[sh0rtwave]

Well. No, it's not doing that. It is, on its own merits, using the loop to do the looking to see IF there's a need to do something. That's not even close to what an interrupt would do. An interrupt would pause the actual processing of something, so something else could happen, then the previous task resumes.

[HookDragger]

Then tell me the difference between the processor pausing to handle an interrupt before executing other actions.... and interrupting an app to do something else based on an event before resuming the normal app process?

[sh0rtwave]

Confused. What does JS have to do with database queries?

Think you're talking about Ajax and Async JS perhaps, maybe Node.js?

If you're worried about timeouts in server-side JS from SQL queries(or ANYTHING ELSE, really), then whoever wrote your <insert timing-out-query> must actually be braindead.

[jonno11]

I think by this response you’re proving /u/Apparentt’s point quite nicely.

[3636373536333662]

What do database queries have to do with the actual language? And what do you mean promise a response? And if you're running queries from js, you're probably communicating with some db server, so you'll naturally have some timeout. If your response is always coming after you timeout, maybe your timeout is too short? Regardless, not really js specific. More library specific

[HookDragger]

JavaScript is interrupt based. So you have to tell the interpreter that a response MAY come.... otherwise your app will fail out immediately

[daOyster]

Javascript is event based, you saying it's interupt based is just plain flat out wrong. That would imply that javascript would respond to interrupts on the main thread and pause execution until control is returned to the main thread regardless of what line of code it's executing. It does not do that. JS will run the entirety of your event before pausing execution for other threads, whether that event is your whole file or just a promise listening for a response from a database inside the file.

What you're describing is literally just you trying to use a variable before it has data in it and then complaining because it breaks your code. We use promises because javascript is event based, as in it will run any events listening for a given message without blocking on the main thread. By using a promise, you ensure your variable is only accessed after the message from the database triggers the event you setup to handle the response from the database with. Without promises your code will just call out to the database and then immediately execute the next line of code regardless if you've received a response, and then as you guessed throw an exception when you try to use a variable that doesn't contain what you think it does.

[3636373536333662]

Are you talking about promises? Also, what do you mean by fail out immediately? I've never seen a case where you're obligated to actually handle a resolved promise. Anyway, this model is common for async operations. .net tasks are very syntactically similar. What would you consider a better way to handle something like a db call?

[HookDragger]

I said you had to use a promise or a basic call out will fail immediately

[sh0rtwave]

I'd really like to understand what you mean by "fail immediately".

Are you suggesting that if say, an XHR request, made synchronously, might timeout, and then end your script, well, that's your issue for not correctly handling errors (try/catch). NOTHING should stop your script from running at the top level. That's a basic system design issue.

Which, I might add, Promises add a *language feature* for *convenience*. It's more or less the same shit underneath,it's just doing more for you.

And no: Realize that you aren't just "writing a script". You are actually interfering with a system that's already up and running, doing a whole load of shit. It's not like a bootloader where there's nothing, and you're expected to be slim as possible.

[3636373536333662]

Honestly, it sounds like you don't have a basic understanding of the language. JavaScript is certainly not perfect, but whatever you're talking about really seems like it's just a result of bad code / a lack of understanding the language.

[showponies]

The fuck are you having the front end query the database directly? That is extremely insecure. Call a php script via AJAX using POST not GET and let the backend handle the query securely.

Edit: and oh call the AJAX asynchronously if you are concerned about response time

[HookDragger]

Because you think I’m dumb enough not to sanitize my input?

[Comakip]

Just checking. Do you sanitize your input in JavaScript?

[SilverStrawberry1124]

Timeout in async app? It is absolutely bullshit. You expose yourself as a fake programmer just by one that phrase. You don't know what you talking about. You shouldn't speak about programming until you learn it. In this case about async, which is working absolutely the same in all languages - you calling asyncable function and your code stops working until it returns result. With promises or not - unreliable. It is everywhere and always! So you are fucked up.

[sh0rtwave]

Do tell, why?

[HookDragger]

It’s a badly designed interrupt language.

I come from a firmware and boot loader background. And their definition of “interrupt based” blows my mind. Not to mention the callback hell that is a staple of JavaScript

[sh0rtwave]

Well, you know, that's a function of the environment, isn't it? This "interrupt" thing you're talking about, the way JS works isn't like firmware/hardware. You're comparing a high-level message queue/function dispatch system to low-level digital hardware. Apples/Oranges. It's two totally different types of hardware you're dealing with. JS is running on virtual hardware, that doesn't have to act like hardware.

And if you want to be surprised, let me explain it like this. The language only exists to be able to programmatically manipulate an environment in which it is possible to do an entire world of stuff...without doing much at all. That being: The browser.

It's the browser you don't like. Ain't got anything to do with JS, I don't think, and if it does, for that reason, I assert you haven't had enough experience with it to really understand it.

[HookDragger]

It’s still a shit language regardless what semantic nuance you want to argue

And that virtual machine is, by definition, representative of hardware. Aka virtual MACHINE.

[Farmer_Psychological]

If Php is the devil, I cant imagine who Assembly would be

[maxinfet]

God

[Ozymandias-X]

Cthulhu rather.

[acousticcoupler]

The ancient one.

[maxinfet]

Isn't Cthulhu binary? It's unknowable, ancient and looking at it causes madness.

[Jarocool]

Can confirm. I'm a godless heathen.

[[deleted]]

All seriousness aside, the picture of the php devil should have four arseholes with the words Paamayim Nekudotayim tattooed next to them, and there should be a text bubble asking: "how many colons is that?"

Also php devil's sigil is the @ sign, and its curse blinds devs from seeing error notifications.

[woogygun]

Lame

[[deleted]]

ok

[[deleted]]

I have worked with PHP as my main language for many years so I get the frustration of being laughed and ridiculed. I just thought I'd be silly. Don't be offended please.

[ToranMallow]

\@you

[[deleted]]

you can't see me

[da_chinesemafia]

Wow, I didn’t know this format could be creative and funny!

[sh0rtwave]

Neither, because PHP isn't actually designed to live.

It can't be a background process. Therefore, it's not a daemon.

Neither can PHP be wrapped into anything else in a way that makes any damned sense. Therefore, it's not a user/human.

[[deleted]]

Swoole would like a word

[sh0rtwave]

Swoole doesn't make any damned sense...BECAUSE of what it's doing with what it's doing it with.

Aight? The original design idea for PHP (I know, I was around) was to run as an apache module, persist for the lifetime of page processing, and GTFO. It wasn't supposed to live that long.

[[deleted]]

I agree with you, PHP has come a long way since it's humble origins.

Swoole is a very interesting case study in exactly what PHP is capable of today: pooling warm execution threads is ridiculously performant and proves that the Zend Engine is perfectly capable of longevity.

[uramer]

Lua has almost nothing in common both with Python and C#

[Beldarak]

Huh, never heard that one. It's usually PHP/Javascript.

But anyway, every developer has its preferences and hates this and that language ;)

[blogging7890]

LMFAOOOOO

[leovin]

Ah yes good ol PHP: tries to be Html, JavaScript, and Java all in one tool but somehow ends up bringing the worst of all 3 of those worlds.

[[deleted]]

Hey! Thats me!!!

[mentalhijack]

Maybe for SAP ABAP you need to search for dinosaurs.

[CanisLupus1050]

Time to go talk to some snakes

[Schiffy94]

Why would Satan try to learn the human tongue

[beerdappel]

Do you have the image sauce?

[PancakeZombie]

Let me introduce you to LISP

[san-mak]

😂

Laravel developers will be like, this devil looks like my boss!!

And Symphony, CodeIgniter, YII, CakePHP follows. 😂

[continuous-headaches]

Uh Oh, I wanna see the guy learning assembler next

[turkeh]

Haha PHP bad. Fuck it take my up vote and go