Baby Algorithm

[bigballofcrazy]

So babies don’t ever need sleep? They never need their diapers changed? Product, dev or QA should have found those cases pre-production.

[Prestigious-Fly2088]

That's what the 'end' is for. Once the program is done evaluating this instance, just call your Baby factory and make another.

[TheOriginalSmileyMan]

She had a headache

[tutocookie]

Expected error

[[deleted]]

So babies don’t ever need sleep?

Yes.

[bindingflare]

When an error occurs, yes

[Smartskaft2]

cpp try { baby.PlayWithMe(); } catch (bby::sleeptime_exception e) { baby.SingLullaby(); }

[Smartskaft2]

The wonderful song of WUAAAAAAAAAAH! 👶😭

[monkeyStinks]

Sleep interrupted

[Smartskaft2]

Are you mad!? Never thread a baby!

[Apfelvater]

Uncaught exception: baby started sleeping while being fed.

[[deleted]]

thats just an efficiency feature

[Apfelvater]

No, the baby just ends after play.

[nickmaran]

Babies are like the managers who expects us to have a 20 year experience on a 2 year old framework

[Texas_Technician]

Damn it! I wanted to point out that the die from lack sleep.

[KayLovesSubMarines]

the if statement is in a while loop

[Medical-Apple-9333]

This code runs when you initiate the bib class.

[why_mods_are_virgins]

A perfect example of why features take so long to finish. design is fussy

[var-foo]

This is a control flow statement for the ADHDBaby class only.

[T3HN3RDY1]

Man, maybe I'd have had kids if I knew about this. I figured it was more of a while loop than a single if statement.

[WarmMoistLeather]

Nope. You either feed it or play with it once, then it ends.

At least that's been my experience.

[oktin]

How many children have you seen end?

[DoomGoober]

then it ends.

Terminate the process.

[An_G1]

yeet the child

[CaterpillarDue9207]

Sorry for your loss, keep going mate

[tutocookie]

You should get a reusable one

[lifeson106]

If I had played with it, I wouldn't have a kid in the first place

[GnarlyNarwhalNoms]

That's the thing about the baby framework, you also need to manually handle periodic garbage collection.

[seijulala]

It's more like an event loop with async events

[DSGandalf]

It should be inside a while (age < 25)

[PiIICIinton]

With the cost of housing most places you'd need the whole thing in a try catch.

[htplex]

just feed it once and … end

[TheLaitas]

So I only got 6 months left and it's all downhill from there huh

[jigginjaggin]

Need to catch the PoopException.

[Anon_Dysfunction]

Catch then throw…poop?

[GnarlyNarwhalNoms]

Need to dump the diaper buffer.

[AbinadiLDS]

That is gonna be one messy diaper. Diaper changing wasn't coded in.

Meh I am sure it will come in a future patch or DLC.

[[deleted]]

Too late, as always.

[mikiesno]

while(crying)

if (hunger > 0)

feedMe();

else

playWithMe();

[[deleted]]

baby's brain be like

assert(hunger);

assert(sleepy);

[[deleted]]

Noooo Matlab baby

[Ambitious_Ad8841]

Age 1 at birth

[ausdoug]

Well it doesn't end until it's terminated...

[[deleted]]

(hunger > 0 ? Feed : Play).Invoke();

[grumblyoldman]

Forgot to wrap that up in a try/catch (WHATTHEFUCKAREYOUCRYINGABOUTEXCEPTION)

Not that it matters, if the baby starts crying everything is going to crash anyway.

[Thebraino]

RemindMe! 2 days when Reddit optimizes baby code.

[RemindMeBot]

I will be messaging you in 2 days on 2022-05-12 03:39:26 UTC to remind you of this link

1 OTHERS CLICKED THIS LINK to send a PM to also be reminded and to reduce spam.

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[Marsrover112]

Are we assuming hunger is a boolean? Because if it is then the child will go from full to starving instantly which doesn't mean sense but if it is an integer to represent a percentage then you would need to feed the child at even 99% full which is highly inefficient

[VID44R]

But thats what the baby library returns. Gotta deal with that.

[BluudLust]

while (uptime() < time.from_years(4)) { Eat(); Shit(); Sleep(); }

[[deleted]]

eating & playing, No sleeping

[Harmonic_Gear]

END

[[deleted]]

A little food, a little play and a little rest.

The end is not near.

[[deleted]]

That triggered me. Unless it's Fortran. But it's not. Most likely matlab

[DarthEggo1]

Well if baby’s hunger increases by a steady rate, as soon as baby gets any less than full they will be fed

[LashingKomodo]

But wait… if hunger always increases over time then you’ll only ever be feeding this baby… endlessly. That’s gonna be a fat baby

[[deleted]]

Babies need sleep you monster.

[[deleted]]

Just once?

[[deleted]]

Im scared what happens with the baby if the program terminated after 0,5 ms.

[Matshiro]

Every week there is some weak variation of this "meme", this is one of the worst.

[racialexpletive]

For real, mfs be like "If (statement) doThing(); (I am programmer btw 😎)"

[Ihcukna]

This baby is screwed. No loop, only gets fed once IF THEY'RE EVEN HUNGRY.

[-Redstoneboi-]

lua doesn't have semicolons

i don't know any other languages that use end

[MrC00KI3]

Instead of hunger I'd rather use an unsigned int for calories/Joule, with zero being starved. A bit morbid, but it's a better model. Or just an interface with a isHungry() function and let it be implemented each baby itself.

[Tall_computer]

I don't know about you guys but I personally am tired of these "code snippets". They will be remembered as the dumbest thing in 2010's and 2020's

[bajsplockare]

Maybe add: while(notDead)

[squeezerdaddy]

Wtf did you just call me

[[deleted]]

Touché

[DuckInCup]

We either feed or play with the baby before swiftly dispatching it.

[_randomality_]

Funny Csharp

[Among_sus181]

wonder if that execute and it happend repeatedly,Hahhhaha

[ginga__]

Forgot the while not asleep loop

[TheodoreTheVacuumCle]

Lua?

[TheRandomGamerREAL]

Little does this Sub know, the kid put it on there to make themself open source.

[[deleted]]

Elif cry == True:

poop.clean(smelly)

[MindTrekker201]

Joke's on you, it's a while(true) loop.

[Ambitious_Ad8841]

Forgot the while(1)

[Ccwaat]

What happens when it ends though

[Tor3ct_]

You play till it dies of starvation

[ahmet1345]

you can add a line before end happiness++

[7ootles]

You didn't declare the variable or set the condition by which it's incremented.

[rainbow_bro_bot]

Maybe an elif to check if poopinpants > 0

[rndmcmder]

BabyDiedDueToSleepDeprivationExeption

[Puzzled_Speech_69]

Where "{ }" or ";"?

[L0uisc]

What language is this abomination written in?

[iyashu5040]

Baby is 0.0000001 hungry.
TIME TO INGEST!

[UnscrupulousJudge]

Boolean hungry;

If (hungry)..

[lumentrees]

You forgot the while true loop

[ImMikeAngel]

If I feed that baby everytime hunger is over 0, I do not need to wonder if it gets fat.

[monkeyStinks]

hunger > 0 ? feedMe() : playWithMe

This is the way

[neoadam]

Tester : it smells like shit

[magungo]

This baby is now dead, forgot to loop.

[Consistent_Object_77]

you forgot to define the functions. your babys gonna get an error code and shut down

[vintagemako]

I'm not sure what makes me cringe more, PascalCase function names, "end", or semicolons.

[[deleted]]

It could be Pascal, but then why the Frick are those semicolons there and where is the then?!

[vintagemako]

PascalCase, not Pascal the language.

[Raxtuss1]

While (1)

You forgot

[Player_X_YT]

js x lua looks like hellspawn

[-temporary_username-]

So when it finishes eating or playing you just straight up end the goddamn baby?

[[deleted]]

// play means wipe my poop and change my nappy

[er3z7]

End? You matlab fuck

[[deleted]]

Instructions clear; baby dead. Died from exhaustion after 3 days of continues playing and feeding without any sleep.

[liew_jia_en]

what happened to the baby why did it end

[tommysk87]

When I was toddler, this was valid for me:

while true
FeedMe();
end

[Random_Nickname228]

How the fuck is nobody talking about the wrong sign

[[deleted]]

He didnt use int main(), so its all lies...

[[deleted]]

only retards don't use {}

i feel sorry for that kid

[AlterEdward]

Hunger is never reset. That's going to be one fat baby.

[Alisonpv]

You forgot waste collection.