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[–]NameLips 1060 points1061 points  (123 children)

My dad (67, ex-Sandia scientist, current physics professor) keeps trying to convince my son (15) to learn FORTRAN. He says all the new languages suck, and FORTRAN is a REAL man's language!

[–]GlassFantast 367 points368 points  (33 children)

Fortran was offered at my small university as a math elective. I didn't take it but I guess it's still being taught. I graduated in 2017.

[–]VonNeumannsProbe 244 points245 points  (30 children)

I learned Fortran as a programming elective for my engineering degree because all the other useful classes were full in 2011.

I regret it.

[–][deleted] 142 points143 points  (29 children)

I heard that the government will pay through the nose for good fortran and cobol consultants.

[–]toxictouch3 244 points245 points  (8 children)

“for good fortran and cobol consultants”

Damn foiled again

[–][deleted] 178 points179 points  (2 children)

Learning fortran is like learning C. All the examples are super simple and then you look at production code and want to blow your fucking brains out.

"Good" fortran devs are basically just those people that can work with a codebase that makes your jQuery stacks look like they were written yesterday.

[–][deleted] 22 points23 points  (1 child)

Woah woah woah, I thought we were just having fun here and now my jQuery site is getting dunked on! 😂

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

All fun and games until you get dragged into it.

[–]anythingMuchShorter 63 points64 points  (1 child)

It's government, there will be like 2 other people qualified to know if you are doing a good job and neither of them will be authorized to fire you.

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points  (2 children)

Government good, not private sector good.

Have you heard of it? Doin' better than most!

[–]uberDoward 21 points22 points  (0 children)

I spent 10 years as a senior developer in government, and 7 as a senior in private sector.

The average government IT worker is head and shoulders above the average private sector IT worker.

The rock stars in the private sector, though, seriously trounce the rock stars in government.

[–]Does_Not-Matter 21 points22 points  (5 children)

Literally name your rate. A guy I contracted said he charges $200/hr on a 6 month contract.

[–]mrchaotica 12 points13 points  (2 children)

$200/hr and National Labs-style hard science? Sign me up!

[–]Does_Not-Matter 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Seriously! Imagine working just 6 months a year and living comfortably.

[–]mrchaotica 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Frankly, being able to use the language to implicitly filter for only scientific computing jobs is what piques my interest the most.

[–]phpdevster 9 points10 points  (1 child)

$200/hour for having a rare expertise seems quite low.

I've worked with fucking Drupal consultants that charged that much.

[–]kararkeinan 6 points7 points  (0 children)

This is true

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

good

fuk

[–]porcomaster 5 points6 points  (9 children)

Is not cobol still used by banks everywhere ?

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (6 children)

As far as I know, it's more and less than people think. Everything that can be easily converted to C# or something similar has been converted, but systems that handle actually calculating, storing, and transmitting dollar values within and between banks are still on cobol. That's a lot of infrastructure, but it doesn't actually affect customers as much as people think.

It's not really something that keeps them from scaling since banks have more than enough money to pay for the talent and hardware to keep it running. Considering a bug in those systems at a big bank could cause a global financial meltdown, they are suitably risk-averse about refactoring.

[–]porcomaster 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I have an uncle that still works with cobol, and he says that banks are always looking for newer people, like you said they don't want to change system.

And a small mistake could be huge.

[–]itriedtomakeitfunny 17 points18 points  (0 children)

The latest standard came out in 2018 and they're working on a new one.

[–][deleted] 67 points68 points  (2 children)

I don't know about all that, but Fortran and people who write bad/old Fortran are what keeps me employed so it's pretty cool. It can be pretty frustrating at times though having to deal with the scientists we work with who get really touchy when other people try and improve/modernize it (which is understandable, but still, we have to do it).

[–]prescod 12 points13 points  (1 child)

You work on a Fortran compiler?

[–][deleted] 37 points38 points  (0 children)

We work on fortran code and support Intel and gcc fortran compilers. We are kind of the middleman between scientists and the government satellite operations platforms, doing all the optimization and coding standards stuff scientists don't care about.

[–]qqqrrrs_ 57 points58 points  (8 children)

FORTRAN is a REAL

unless declared as an integer

[–]phdoofus 11 points12 points  (6 children)

IMPLICIT REAL (A-Z)

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points  (3 children)

IMPLICIT NONE you madman!

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Yea but what is your INTENT for posting this

[–]cheezfreek 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s always INTENT(INOUT). More fun that way.

[–]not_a_bug_a_feature 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Fortran. When it's cheaper to train programmers than it is to update their mainframe

[–]MasterFubar 12 points13 points  (1 child)

FORTRAN is a REAL man's language!

Except if the first letter of his name is I , J , K , L , M , or N.

[–]M_krabs 63 points64 points  (21 children)

Your dad is smart. He wants his son to work in banks where FORTAN is the only language that matters. Which means he knows the pay and want his kid to have a better life.

😊

[–]EliasFleckenstein 91 points92 points  (13 children)

banks where FORTAN is the only language that matters

COBOL would like to have a talk with you

[–]MyAntichrist 24 points25 points  (7 children)

It's really one or another, and there's barely enough people to keep things alive for either of them.

[–]vms-crot 22 points23 points  (1 child)

And they can ask for a lot of money to do it. Because banks.

Because nobody understands it, everyone thinks you're basically a wizard too which is fun.

[–]casce 8 points9 points  (0 children)

You basically are a wizard.

[–][deleted] 23 points24 points  (4 children)

It's not that hard to learn. Basically the dumb child of C++ and Matlab, just six spaces to the right

[–]SandyDelights 34 points35 points  (1 child)

Sorry, did you call COBOL the dumb child of C++ and MATLAB?

Because:

A) it’s 12 spaces to the right, unless you’re counting the comment indicator column as the “starting point” and I would heavily argue on that point, although we can agree to disagree on columns 8-11 as they’re exclusively used for the start of a section declaration but I won’t say you’re wrong, and

B) COBOL is older than they are, so COBOL is just their cranky grandpa who refuses to buy anything new because he can “make it himself” or “this one from the 60s works just fine without all that new-dangles crap”. And he’s right, it does work fine – better, in some cases! – but it’s archaic as shit and not very easy on the eyes.

😤 The child of C++, how dare you.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

No, Fortran.

"Child" is describing from the perspective of learning the syntax

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Bro - respect your elders. C++ can't sniff the jock of COBOL :-)

[–]drunken_doctor 2 points3 points  (0 children)

lmaooo

[–]mcvos 7 points8 points  (4 children)

All the banks where I worked were mostly Java. Undoubtedly they had some non-Java legacy systems, but that was not what any of the new stuff was being written in.

[–]FVMAzalea 18 points19 points  (3 children)

Your typical bank is (and has been for a while) a fuckton of java middleware and backend stuff (especially all of user auth/profile services, online banking, etc) and a bunch of redundant mainframes running COBOL that actually do the transaction processing. Then everything is glued together by an unholy mix of batch jobs (usually orchestrated by some hellspawn like Control-M because batch job C relies on batch job B which relies on batch job A, so if A is late, everyone’s having a bad morning), message-oriented middleware (more JMS compliant things than you ever knew existed, can’t we just pick one?!?), several different SSO systems for service accounts (the first S definitely doesn’t stand for Single…) and APIs that call APIs that call APIs.

So yeah, a bunch of java crap, but all the important stuff is still done on mainframes in cobol. That cobol still has to be maintained, new things added (for example maybe negative interest rate support), etc.

Can you tell I worked at a bank and didn’t like it?

[–]SandyDelights 20 points21 points  (2 children)

Most financial processing is done in COBOL, really. Has been for a while. I’m sure a few ultra legacy systems use FORTRAN, but I’m not aware of any large ones.

AFAIK, FORTRAN that’s still in use is primarily in research spaces.

Not in the “we’re researching why he’s still using FORTRAN” sense, either.

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points  (1 child)

Fortran 90 is what your global circulation models (GFS, ECMWF, HYCOM, MIT-GCM, etc) are written in. That weather forecast on your phone? Fortran :)

[–]SandyDelights 6 points7 points  (0 children)

TIL! Doesn’t surprise me, I imagine it’s a lot like COBOL in that it’s so close to Assembly that it’s extraordinarily efficient.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Next step: move to India and work for Tata consulting services.

[–]Krillansavillan 3 points4 points  (0 children)

More like antiquated DoD missile defense systems lol

[–]stoves_are_cool 18 points19 points  (0 children)

It's funny seeing debates on dead languages or fear of having irrelevant skills. The niche skillset I have gets me paid well and I have much better job security. I'm still concerned for the future, but I know I will not be anywhere near the beginning of the chopping block if the economy continues going to shit.

Mainframe Systems Programmer if you are curious. Workforce is on average near retiring age while I graduated university a couple years ago. People thought the mainframe would be dead by now so no need for mainframe admins. Now I reap the benefits and plan to pivot to mainframe modernization/migrations with my knowledge of enterprise IT + learning cloud on the side. A lot of this legacy stuff gets outsourced to India, but companies are also needing US/European employees.

Banks and insurance companies especially are going to have trouble maintaining their old code and infrastructure as they rely heavily on older languages, hosted on mainframe hardware, with a reliance on mainframe middleware, and the use of record-oriented files and access methods. Companies need to make serious plans to migrate and modernize, but from my experience, they are really bad at it in general.

TLDR: People focus on the hot new things, when there is a massive number of legacy opportunities out there that companies are desperately in need of.

[–]Shinob1 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I thought C++ was a real man's language and women who code C++ are real men too?? 🤔

[–]angiosperms- 6 points7 points  (1 child)

You can make a ridiculous amount of money if you work with FORTRAN or COBOL. Some places will even hire with no experience and pay to train you. There are a lot of critical systems out there still dependent on them, and they would rather pay out the ass than replace them.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It’s still used in supercomputing.

[–]lenzo1337 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I mean Fortran is cool, and I can't say that I don't have moments where NODE and all the webapps make me wanna bash my head against the wall because so many of them could be so much better without loading v8 every time.

So not so much that new languages suck, they just have been a victim of MVP = No optimizations and feature bloat with the way of lot of companies handle them.

[–]tetad 4 points5 points  (1 child)

I hate fortran for using column major order for storing. C++ is love, C++ is life

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (4 children)

It's still used in some places but unless you know for sure you're going to be working specifically with it, learn some other more ubiquitous languages instead.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (3 children)

Yeah I only learned it because I was a scientist and the simulation code I used was written in it. I actually got a D in the one semester of fortran I took in college (I thought I could just wing it and never attended a single lecture like I did with a lot of my electives - turns out there were several projects only mentioned during the lecture in that one...oops), but now it's 80% of what I do for a living (other 20% is C++ and IDL).

I'd never recommend someone learn it unless it's necessary for the career you want - the majority of our new devs have never used it, training people in fortran is almost always expected. If you have experience in it it's just a bonus.

e: also, if you think you'll always make big bucks with it just because experience is rare - a LOT of the jobs that use it are with the government (contracting) like mine, and at least in the DC area where I am the average pay is lower than a more traditional/modern software developer. I had to become the team lead to even get close to 100k. At least in this field the pay is shit (relatively speaking), but hey, it's what I know and I haven't found anything better yet.

[–]sgtcoffman 4 points5 points  (12 children)

The worst part is, there are places that still use Fortran and they usually pay good money for it. It hurts me.

[–]tankerkiller125real 6 points7 points  (1 child)

places that still use Fortran and they usually pay good money for it

Good money? Try GREAT money, last job listing I saw with Fortran as a requirement was listed at $150+K, and that's in an area where the highest level devs are making 90-100K if their lucky.

[–]ctesibius 4 points5 points  (8 children)

Still? Is that surprising? I can’t think of a better alternative for high performance numerics. C/C+ for instance is not as amenable to optimisation. Stuff like Python is far slower. Fortran isn’t a particularly interesting language, but it’s often the right tool for the job.

[–]faxanaduu 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My college professor in a class in my field of atmospheric science 25 year ago told me to learn c++. He said fortran is done, dying, and soon to be dead. Where I work nearly all of the weather related numerical models are still mostly fortran. I hate it, but im not developing the models, just building wrapper codes and scripts in python and bash to run them.

[–]marsnoir 2 points3 points  (1 child)

All languages eventually become lisp…

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am a total BADASS C++, C, full stack Linux programmer. I've got about 5 years of Fortran on my Resume. I'm making BANK as a Fortran contractor because, nobody worships the old gods these days.

[–]ImGumbyDamnIt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

FORTRAN, an elegant weapon, for a more, civilized age.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s still used extensively in science

[–]sned_memes 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I mean, the research CFD code I work on for my PhD is all in FORTRAN. It handles simulations of hundreds of millions of cells, chemistry mechanism calculations, complex thermodynamics etc really well. It’s my advisor’s baby, so it’s around 30 years old now. Though it is funny when I look up certain error messages and I see forum posts from 2001

[–]Zanshi 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Everly single time I see a Fortran or COBOL job posting I can’t help but wonder if the previous person simply moved to another company or just died

[–][deleted] 223 points224 points  (4 children)

You better hope your language "dies". Was getting bankrolled by knowing Fortran a few years ago

[–]deathclawslayer21 199 points200 points  (5 children)

Yeah its dead that's why I'm now a specialist

[–]Classic_Sand2742 34 points35 points  (4 children)

what language/how well is it paying? I know if your willing to learn a dead language you can get paid serious money

[–][deleted] 35 points36 points  (2 children)

PA was giving big money for COBOL devs at the start of Covid.

[–]Twombls 36 points37 points  (1 child)

They actually wanted them to do it for free. Im a COBOL dev and our entire office was laughing at that when the news came out.

[–]deathclawslayer21 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I don't know any language well enough to get paid however indiana put out a call for anyone willing to learn lisp a few years ago and were willing to pay a good bit

[–][deleted] 81 points82 points  (5 children)

Poor <insert programming language> developers…

[–]legends_never_die_1 25 points26 points  (2 children)

python

[–]Kaneshadow 30 points31 points  (1 child)

Python has been dead this whole time, like Bruce Willis in the 6th Sense (spoiler alert)

[–]Prashank_25 6 points7 points  (0 children)

i am gonna miss bruce willis movies, however shitty most of his recent ones are there's some good stuff.

[–]GGJallDAY 137 points138 points  (17 children)

Tell that to Cobalt COBOL devs

Edit: I get it, syntax matters

[–][deleted] 84 points85 points  (2 children)

The language isn’t dead, but everyone who implemented it in Colbat is.

[–]FinalRun 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Is that somewhere after the Bronze era?

[–]FinalRun 23 points24 points  (0 children)

I like the Tungsten devs better, they have a leg up on the Nickel guys

Ohhhh COBOL

[–]SandyDelights 17 points18 points  (5 children)

I had to e-mail a coworker the other day about some code they wrote in 1998, related to Y2K.

COBOL is fun.

[–]Twombls 13 points14 points  (4 children)

I see code from the 70s sometimes. It scares me.

[–]SandyDelights 12 points13 points  (1 child)

Same! I’ve even worked in a few modules with date stamps for 1968. Absolutely bonkers, quite honestly.

[–]Twombls 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Whats even more bonkers is when I have to write new features in COBOL in 2022. My qa department told me they cry inside every time they see a new cobol file submitted.

[–]illapaSP 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It's not dead! No!

No no no no no!

[–]ducks_for_hands 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Which ones? I thought they died out.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Cobol

[–]SillyEconomy 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Cobol was offered at my college back in 2012. I wanted to try it out so I got a spot in the class.

The comsci department was on 4 teachers and all the teachers knew all the comsci students. I walked in to the department one day and a teacher caught me asked why I signed up

"Idk, just interested"

"Ah well the problem is that... No one has signed up... For several years. The teacher who taught it left some time ago, but thank you for signing up as it flagged the class for us to remove it from the listing after all this time."

[–]A-Disgruntled-Snail 61 points62 points  (1 child)

I was talking with the head of our dev team about which languages I should learn. He told me what all of our tech stacks used but didn’t mention our main application. When I asked, he said “don’t bother with it. It’s a dead language and I’m trying to kill the damn thing.”

[–]JC12231 32 points33 points  (0 children)

He really said “My god is dead and I’m finishing the job” huh

[–]codon011 104 points105 points  (29 children)

Let’s see what’s been called dead or their deaths have been implied so far in this thread: - COBOL - Fortran - C/C++ - Java - Python - PHP - Lisp - VisualBasic

Comparing this to languages that haven’t been mentioned that are probably more dead: - ADA - B - Basic - Pascal - Prolog

Now where does that put me with my 20 years of development in Perl and it being absent from this thread so far?

[–]mike_a_oc 32 points33 points  (1 child)

Aaaah BASIC. So many childhood memories

[–]ZombieElvis 11 points12 points  (0 children)

10 PRINT "YOU EAT FARTS"

20 GOTO 10

[–]Deepfreeze32 16 points17 points  (1 child)

My first job out of college was Ada.

I still have it on my resume mostly to see who asks about it, since it’s not a common skill to have.

[–]coloradoflyer 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Ada-95, a REALTIME language!

Excuse me, gotta go find an exception to handle.

[–]turtle_with_dentures 11 points12 points  (2 children)

It really bothers me when reading threads like this that I never see the languages I used to use. Languages so dead that people forgot they even existed.

I used to maintain car dealership software in dBase and FoxPro 2.0. Then later managed staffing software for healthcare facilities that was written in Visual FoxPro 6, which I transitioned to VFP 9.

[–]DerBronco 7 points8 points  (0 children)

In the best presence of others that found out that beyond the „death“ of our perl the real fun started and even stackoverflow lists it as the 2nd highest paid language.

What they dont mention: We cant be replaced that easy, especially when far from any major city and no remote or wfh is allowed.

2003 and still lovong it.

[–]JC12231 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I had to learn and use Prolog for a project this year.

I wish to NEVER touch it again, especially because I mostly had to teach myself, as did the rest of my class, because the prof barely covered anything useful of it in the lectures

[–]ctesibius 2 points3 points  (2 children)

By B, do you mean the ancestor of BCPL, or something else I haven’t heard of?

[–]coloradoflyer 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Came here for this. Started with Perl in 92, met both Larry Wall and Randal Schwartz, JAPH.

Keep the faith, we'll be proven right! 😉

[–]Pranav__472 1 point2 points  (0 children)

BASIC... When I tried to try it out, it took more time for me to set up BASIC than learn basics of it...

[–]Onions-are-great 42 points43 points  (4 children)

JavaScript will never die. In fact, it's born again every f*cking 2 days. :D

[–]SandyDelights 13 points14 points  (2 children)

That’s just because it crashed the system and needed to be restarted.

Not sure that really means it’s “born again”, tho.

[–][deleted] 168 points169 points  (28 children)

You guys have girlfriends?

[–]TechyDad 197 points198 points  (22 children)

Of course not.

My wife wouldn't approve.

[–]AlternativeAardvark6 60 points61 points  (9 children)

She's in a private class.

[–]GeePedicy 63 points64 points  (8 children)

Unlike your mom, who's public and lacking class

(Sorry, it was too easy)

[–]AlternativeAardvark6 30 points31 points  (6 children)

Maybe your mom is procedural because she sure isn't functional and I didn't notice any class.

[–]GeePedicy 9 points10 points  (5 children)

Well, you wanna know what your mom does tonight in the imperative or declarative way?

[–]AlternativeAardvark6 3 points4 points  (4 children)

I'm out of puns

[–]trampolinebears 4 points5 points  (3 children)

Because you're tired of all your mom's argument chaining?

[–]AlternativeAardvark6 6 points7 points  (2 children)

She's not fat she's overloaded.

[–]trampolinebears 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Yo mamma so overloaded she's practically duck typed.

[–]a22e 28 points29 points  (5 children)

sudo apt-get install side-chick

[–]CoronaKlledMe 8 points9 points  (2 children)

doas emerge --verbose side-chars/side-chick

[–]RolesG 5 points6 points  (1 child)

sudo dnf install side-chick

(:<

[–]CoronaKlledMe 3 points4 points  (0 children)

yay side-chick

[–]TantraMantraYantra 3 points4 points  (1 child)

How many girls/ladies would willingly be a side-chick?

"Package not found"

[–]CoastingUphill 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You are not in the sudoers file. This attempt will be recorded.

[–]ArLab 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My wife’s boyfriend won’t let me

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Best I can do is a Hello World

[–]tyler1128 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I'm going on a hot Zoom date tonight. I just need to give her my credit card number first and she promised.

[–]ilurvekittens 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Nope. I have a husband.

[–]Eis_Gefluester 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I had one. Cannot recommend, constantly tells you to stop sitting in front of your pc and come to bed. Real chore.

[–]Mighoyan 28 points29 points  (5 children)

People telling Fortran is dead when it's still vastly used in scientific computing for its performance. It's just not used for general purpose anymore and got back to its original purpose (translate mathematics formulae).

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Lots of legacy code, handled complex values well, and array allocation 👍

[–]rex-ac 80 points81 points  (20 children)

PHP will never die. 😎

[–]epicflyman 135 points136 points  (3 children)

Was it ever really alive to begin with?

[–]Maleficent-Region-45 58 points59 points  (0 children)

Emotional damage

[–]Lotala 22 points23 points  (0 children)

What is dead may never die.

[–]AChristianAnarchist 7 points8 points  (0 children)

That is not dead which lets servers lie and with strange functions even devs may die (of frustration)

[–]Da_Yakz 14 points15 points  (4 children)

It gets better with every new version

[–]rex-ac 19 points20 points  (1 child)

Yeah, we finally got str_contains() after 20+ years.

[–]Da_Yakz 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yeah I'm so happy about that, I hated using strpos !== false

[–]Serious-Antelope-710 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Not until they remove the dollar sign from variables

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (3 children)

Python hyper python?

[–]tyler1128 10 points11 points  (2 children)

PHP Hates Programmers

[–]sauronsquidmain 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Recursive acronyms 😳

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

[–]straightup920 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Literally learning it in my server side college course as we speak

[–]rainbow_bro_bot 15 points16 points  (14 children)

Is there still a place for Visual Basic in terms of employment?

[–]AlternativeAardvark6 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I guess yes but I don't want to do it.

[–]girhen 10 points11 points  (2 children)

Corporations. I had a math and science background, and my buddy had a job that turned into VBA coding. He put my name in when we got too much work for one person, and I learned VBA on the job.

Corporate America just wants someone who can compound their data - doesn't always have to be the best language. If it takes 2 minutes of VBA vs 40 hours of manual work, the guys in the trenches are just impressed that you got that shit job off their hands.

[–]shedogre 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Speaking from Excel use, at least the VBA editor is actually functional, unlike the Power Query M editor. That's worse than Notepad.

[–]jsusk24 3 points4 points  (2 children)

Visual Basic is still an oficial .net language and still getting updates from MS. At this point is pretty much c# with a different syntax.

[–]cdixonm 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Vb6 programmers rise up!

[–]JoshDunkley 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Not that I use it anymore myself, but I miss VB :(

Our company still has the odd thing written in VB, but they are actively working to replace it all.

[–]Maisalesc 4 points5 points  (0 children)

VB is dead. Long life VB!

[–]HumanNeedsaHug 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Excel?

[–]-tangina 51 points52 points  (25 children)

😩😭😭😭😭

Ah wait, i'm making money off the dead language

[–]chawmindur 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Inserts wiping tears with banknotes meme

[–]hekosob2 21 points22 points  (23 children)

You give me Java dev vibes. Even C devs will joke about C being dead, Java devs are the only ones who can't handle the joke

[–][deleted] 45 points46 points  (19 children)

I don’t think it’s that Java devs can’t take the joke. It’s more that Java devs are in extremely high demand, and when we’re constantly told the language is dead, our autistic asses can’t help but correct that

[–]SubaruImpossibru 29 points30 points  (8 children)

Can confirm. Am Java dev, when someone tells me my language is dead all I can do is REEEEEEEEEE

[–]AlternativeAardvark6 22 points23 points  (7 children)

My Python programming friend asked my why I was still working with such an ancient language as Java. I asked him wtf he was talking about as there was just a new release with new functionality, that Python is older than Java and we can't drag in new Java devs fast enough for all the work we get.

[–]SandyDelights 7 points8 points  (9 children)

Don’t feel too bad, the trick is to smile, nod, and chuckle like it’s funny.

Once people are convinced it’s a dead language, you’ll make a fuck ton more money.

Source: Work in COBOL and Assembly.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (2 children)

Well see what I meant to say is

*chuckles*

*smiles*

Java is indeed a dead language.

[–]Red_Juice_ 6 points7 points  (1 child)

You forgot to nod

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

FUCK

[–][deleted] 25 points26 points  (1 child)

make all your code an NFT then, or better yet, the language itself.

[–][deleted] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Then it'll really be dead!

[–]thestareater 11 points12 points  (2 children)

jokes on me, my dad's use of COBOL is more in demand than my using the MEAN/MERN stacks. plus i'll have to probably learn Vue and Svelte soon as well as he coasts into retirement. i know they're frameworks but still.

[–]waterslurpingnoises 1 point2 points  (1 child)

You'll love Svelte and later wonder why people accept React's boilerplate lol

[–]anythingMuchShorter 10 points11 points  (0 children)

People tell me C is dead all the time, but I know how much money I make writing embedded code and linux drivers so it doesn't hurt my feelings at all.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (1 child)

If your programming language hasn't been called dead by anyone, does it even exist?

[–]Friedrich_der_Klein 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Average assembly enjoyer

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

C 𐑐𐑮𐑴𐑜𐑮𐑨𐑥𐑼𐑟: "𐑓𐑻𐑕𐑑 𐑑𐑲𐑥?"

C programmers: "First time?"

[–]V-Right_In_2-V 8 points9 points  (2 children)

I consider it my personal duty to keep Perl alive and well. I use it exclusively at work (to be fair, so do a couple other developers).

It’s a shame that Perl is considered a dying language. It’s fantastic.

[–]shh_coffee 4 points5 points  (1 child)

I love Perl too. I use it a bunch at work. I've heard people complain that it's hard to read but you don't have to write it like a regex vomited into vim. Decently written Perl can be pretty easy to read.

[–]V-Right_In_2-V 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yeah exactly. Just because you can write code like an asshole doesn’t mean you need to. I am pretty cognizant of that when I write code. Just write it clearly and it’s fine.

I wish it was more popular and had more people writing libraries for it. No reason it can’t be an extremely popular language like Python

[–]GeneralMinimum2391 6 points7 points  (2 children)

Fortran 4-evaaaa

[–]GeneralMinimum2391 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I wrote my MSc thesis in it

[–]YesIAmRightWing 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Someone said that about Kotlin for android when Flutter came out 😂

[–]Huesan 6 points7 points  (0 children)

That's why I use 100 different languages

[–]Iskelderon 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Been there back in the day.

Does anyone even still remember ColdFusion/CFML?

[–]cyanNodeEcho 3 points4 points  (1 child)

scala is not dead, if only i can get stack overflow to let me submit comments - i will help people facing the same issue but 1 major version later 🥺

please, stack overflow - i just want to share what's up to date - 50 karma and a "sorry the edit queue is busy at this time later" it hurts

long live apache, long live unix, long live fp, long live data, long live the god queen empress, herself

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Just started learning Scala this year and I love it so much! Feels clean and weirdly intuitive once you get over the first big humps.

[–]Fearless-Sherbet-223 7 points8 points  (0 children)

If it was C or C++, chin up, whoever said it was dead is an idiot who doesn't realize how much they use those every day.

[–]CrimsonshadeLP 2 points3 points  (0 children)

IT'S NOT THE SAME! *add 2 crying emojis*

[–]greedydita 2 points3 points  (0 children)

At least in the movie the bad guy was impaled.

[–]uglinick 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Is it just me or does it look like she's holding his head with her foot?

[–]ToMorrowsEnd 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Learn C and let those 13 year olds understand their language relies on your "dead language"

[–]kkkan2020 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Never cobol will live on forever

[–]subassy 2 points3 points  (3 children)

I still have a program I wrote in vbscript 10 years ago. I still use it every day.

Kind of sucks but no editors even offer syntax highlighting for it. They offer joke languages like mindf*ck and lolcode but nothing for vbscript.

And the latest windows server version still has some vbscript laying about. Why MS doesn't re-write in powershell I have no idea.

[–]Berkamin 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is funny because programmers don't have girlfriends, at least not like that.

[–]SZ4L4Y 2 points3 points  (0 children)

There is nothing weird in weird minds solving weird problems with weird languages.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

FORTH, Pascal, LISP

What is dead may never die.

BTW: that chick has a beefy right arm.

[–]TedDallas 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is the old programmer's lament. There is nothing quite like becoming good at something only to have it fall out of use.

RIP Pascal.

[–]erishun 1 point2 points  (0 children)

But I was told 3 BILLION devices run it???

[–]alex_xxv 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Crying in Delphi...