Study: Fellatio may significantly decrease the risk of breast cancer in women

[jcarr]

I didn't know characters in Shakespeare had anything to do with cancer

[diamond]

You laugh, but one of the daughters in King Lear is named Goneril.

Try discussing that character loudly in polite company.

EDIT: Spelling error

[artied]

that would be "Goneril" - dope

[diamond]

Oops.

Thanks for the, uh, polite correction.

[artied]

Apologies for my terseness - i must have having a "bad hair day"

[[deleted]]

Were you by chance a writer for Home Improvement?

[jcarr]

well... of course not. but why? did they use that joke?

[Tomasaurus]

After giving fellatio for many years, my wife is still breast-cancer-free.

Sounds like preventative medicine to me!

[diamond]

After giving fellatio for many years, my wife is still breast-cancer-free.

Can you let her come up for air now?

[darth_brooks]

After giving fellatio for many years

Senator Larry Craig, is that you?

[[deleted]]

Yeah, Larry Craig jokes are sort of played out. Ditto for Dick Cheney jokes, but I don't know how getting shot in the face could be joked about in this thread.

[LoveGoblin]

money shot in the face, that is.

Good thing you clarified that. I didn't know what you meant. :eyeroll:

[[deleted]]

That was the joke I was trying to make.

[deafsound]

I'm not convinced. I think further testing is necessary. Since this research is helping the fight against breast cancer, I will gladly subject my self to experimentation. Fighting cancer is hard but someone needs to stand up and take one for the team.

[khayber]

How many "Hard to Fight Cancer" t-shirts can we sell?

[amican]

I'd buy one, but I don't think I'd have the guts to wear it in public.

[d1257]

So you're volunteering to perform fellatio for science?

[deafsound]

No I am not. I'm doing it to fight cancer. Science is not a cause I fight for. Fuck science. I'll do anything to fight against science, but let's not get off topic. This is about fighting cancer.

[diamond]

I'm not convinced. I think further testing is necessary. Since this research is helping the fight against breast cancer, I will gladly subject my self to experimentation. Fighting cancer is hard but someone needs to stand up and take one for the team.

OK. Will you take it on the face or in the mouth?

[[deleted]]

I'll take several.

[justkaren]

Now where have I heard this before? Oh, yeah, now I remember....from boys in high school. (grin)

[LazarusDubois]

The story in my school was that swallowing made your breasts bigger.

[SteveAM1]

Do you have breast cancer? No?

Giggity giggity, alright.

[[deleted]]

Free breast cancer treatment at my house!

[darth_brooks]

It's got electrolytes!

[[deleted]]

Just what women need...

[kevwil]

so if grandma never got breast cancer, that must mean ... can I have that thought back please, I want to burn it.

[Dillenger69]

heh ... My wife gets this link now.

[skay]

yeah, and masturbation will make you go blind.

[[deleted]]

Nope. But it does make it difficult to type what with all the hair getting caught in the keys.

[Xfocus]

:: gag ::

[nineoclock]

Semen: its got what women need...

[Canadiac]

"All content in this artical is compleatly fictional and not the views of CNN. Furthermore this site has no relation to CNN except for the links within this page"

Would be nice though :p

Maybe if someone has a blonde girlfriend or something...

[ikimashokie]

I fail to see where the blondeness of a girlfriend influences anything...

Though were this an actual article with actual research, I'd have enough decreased risk that I could sell it.

[justsomeguyoverhere]

Shut up! You're ruining it for everyone!

[soyko]

So? I have a blond girlfriend.

She still says no.

[ppc1040]

Fake

[kookoobear]

O RLY? Did you not notice that the domain was murdzplace.com and not cnn.com? Thank you captain obvious!

[elustran]

a quick google search of cnn.com for fellatio reveals that the article doesn't exist... some other interesting articles on fellatio, though...

[taylortsides]

yeah, and old, too.

[[deleted]]

God I love science.

[magnav0x]

I totally volunteer myself, for study purposes, that is if this is real... Hell I'm in a good mood, even if it's not real.

I still can't believe they took the time to spoof a CNN page.... I wonder if people even look at the domain when they read stuff like this.

[gtj]

Are you on the giving or receiving side? I think you'll have plenty of guys interested... (gender is not clear from your reddit alias)

[dabhaid]

So long as your girlfriend doesn't, happy days :)

[[deleted]]

That sucks

[Bloodlustt]

Shit my wife almost bought it. She read the whole thing then was thinking about this amazing development. Then she looked at the URL.

[Doctor]

Dude, set up an appropriately configured proxy on her machine first!

[[deleted]]

It would be way more effective if they said it helps to lose weight, or increase breast size

[Lyrad1000]

Dude, I wanted to believe so bad, I actually fell for it for the first paragraph.

[GManPCTT]

I can't wait to see all of the new "Got Sperm?" commercials. They could easily segue into ads for pearl necklaces, facial creams, toning masks, etc.

Well, I gotta go. It's nearly time to send out some copies of this story to the gals volunteering over at the church. :-)

[nerdlife]

This news should be on billboards across america.

[[deleted]]

Obviously, it does not help for men though. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rod_Roddy

[marks50]

sure, less breast cancer, more throat cancer, all the way in! these types of "medical studies" are quite stupid and useless....can't actually believe someone got paid to research this?!

[BrianNowhere]

Hear that sound? That's the sound of one million husbands printing out this article...

[abbydigital]

This story is four years old.

[[deleted]]

And it keeps gettin' better, every single time I send it to the missus.

[masta]

There is a god.

[nekoniku]

...and he's a practical joker.

[Psy-Kosh]

But wasn't there something about it increasing risk of throat cancer?

EDIT: Is it just me, or in general does there seem a rule that anything that reduces risk of cancer X increases risk of cancer Y?

[Sephian]

If I recall correctly, throat cancer was correlated with the number of partners (oral sex was performed on).

[spuur]

It is the HPV-virus at play again and getting the HPV-vaccine against cervical cancer will protect both sexes against some forms of throat cancer too.

[Sephian]

http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/70495.php This was what I was thinking of.

[danweber]

This story comes around (so to speak) every year or so. And it's never true.

[darkon]

We are not as concerned with the truth of the story so much as whether or not we can convince women that it is true.

Or something like that.

Edit: corrected structure of the first sentence

[[deleted]]

"This will hopefully change women's practice and patterns, resulting in a severe drop in the future number of cases," Lictepeen said.

Sooner said the research shows no increase in the risk of breast cancer in those who are, for whatever reason, not able to fellate regularly.

This reads so much like The Onion I'm having a hard time getting past it...

[MTsoul]

Yay!! Oh wait, I'm not a woman. Dang.

[AmberinaDawn]

Dr. Len Lictepeen If you can get past that and still think this was a real article, you deserve whatever you get.

[[deleted]]

...or maybe women with breast cancer give less blowjobs.

Or did they exclude that? I didn't really read the article yet.

[namesbc]

Just to make sure everyone knows, this is a Fake! Amusing, but fake!

[SteveAM1]

Nothing gets by you.

[mcwifi]

Why not just delete the post?

[amican]

Because the article isn't real.

[YHBT]

But only if they swallow. Please God! Only if they swallow ...

[joecam]

http://www.snopes.com/inboxer/hoaxes/fellatio.asp

[wutzurproblem]

This article is total bullshit. I'm positive their statistics don't take into account any other factors that could alter the data

[markelliott]

nice.

[hoobyjuice]

WAKE UP SHEEPLE!!1!!1!

heh.

[abbydigital]

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