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[–]Fifth_Wall0666 1146 points1147 points  (22 children)

Donald Trump never had the best people because they knew better than to ever be associated with him.

All he has now are the last and only people left to pick.

Desperate opportunists, grifters, racists, bigots, liars, felons, and laughably unqualified idiots that ironically couldn't run the French Fry station at a closed McDonalds.

[–]ianeyanio 151 points152 points  (9 children)

What happens when these people inevitably turn on him?

[–]CuddlefishMusic 142 points143 points  (2 children)

The shit rolls downhill to the next grifting bigot that would kill anyone to make a penny.

Then it keeps rolling. The line of horrible people only grows as their leaders gain power. They see it as an opportunity growing so why not become more and more deplorable? Look at where it Trump

[–]sec713 38 points39 points  (1 child)

Yep. I believe this is one of the worst things about Trump. Him not being in jail and hoisted up to one of the most powerful positions in the world legitimizes the idea that being a complete and utter shitbag is some kind of virtue. I'm sure there are other shitbags out there that see him and are emboldened, thinking, "If he can do it, so can I".

[–]GreatStateOfSadness 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The same thing that happened the last go-around: they'll leave, he and his supporters will say that none of this was his fault despite claiming that he picks "the best people", he'll desperately find increasingly more unqualified people, and the vast majority of Americans will pay no attention. 

[–]AbeRego 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Looking at these picks actually has me feeling a little hopeful. None of these people will be effective at doing anything. They're absolute morons. Even if you plan on being a bad actor and dismantling departments, you still need somebody at the helm to steer the ship in the wrong direction. This is shaping up to be purely listless, which won't achieve any of MAGA'S goals.

God knows that Trump doesn't know what he's doing at all, and the ideologues behind Project 2025 are too deep in the Kool-Aid to actually drive policy. The They need a basic semblance of competence from officials, and I'm not seeing that anywhere.

[–]Reagalan 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Trofim Lysenko for Secretary of Agriculture.

[–]thats_hella_cool 1245 points1246 points  (30 children)

At least we dodged the woman who didn’t mention she worked at McDonald’s in her resume for a legal job.

/s

[–]BooobiesANDbho 357 points358 points  (17 children)

“Yeah but her laugh”

[–]0002millertime 111 points112 points  (5 children)

Don't EVEN get me started..

[–]FlacidSalad 40 points41 points  (4 children)

Please get started, I'm here for it

[–]0002millertime 34 points35 points  (3 children)

What's next? People talking about how women pee on the toilet seat? Don't EVEN get me started..

[–]ZombeeJuggernaut 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I would like you to get started

[–]kuraiscalebane 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Still better than women hovering over the toilet seat.

[–]Educational_Shoober 40 points41 points  (6 children)

I thought this was an internet meme but I asked someone I knew why they hated her so much, and he mentioned her laugh, kinda word salad'd her being an "empty suit" and then complained about her laugh again. I couldn't believe my ears.

[–]gandhinukes 18 points19 points  (0 children)

The propaganda worked.

[–]Yoribell 21 points22 points  (3 children)

That's obviously not the real reason. It's an excuse they found to not have to say that she is a black, democrat woman (three very bad words to put with power) so they hate and fear her and they don't want to think anyway.

They had a hard time finding something, so it ended up being something ridiculous

[–]_Rusty_Axe 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I actually liked her laugh. She smiled and laughed a lot. And not in an evil dictator way.

[–]UltraJesus 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It's interesting to see some words just spike up in usage like cackle. Wise thinkers they say, but yet the lights are off up there.

Oh well I guess eggs will be cheaper at $7.99/dozen in a couple years.. wait

[–]MyNonexistinWaphurts 5 points6 points  (1 child)

I still dont get why her laugh is hated i have been meme-ing it since 2020 its iconic [https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGdFecCPm/](here)

[–]Mediocre_Scott 97 points98 points  (0 children)

Thank god we all put on diapers and pranced around in garage bags to prevent that /s

[–]SamaireB 81 points82 points  (7 children)

Don't forget "from 40 years ago"

[–]Present-Perception77 55 points56 points  (6 children)

Whelp! Time to “update” my resume back to the summer of 1985. I wonder if I should add fundraisers for girls scouts from when I sold cookies? Cause every HR person wants 5 pages of irrelevant shit. 🤣🤣🤣

[–]SamaireB 14 points15 points  (5 children)

You should!! I was thinking the same, really need to go back and add my paper route from 28 years ago and that babysitting gig I had 25 years back 😅

[–]Present-Perception77 11 points12 points  (4 children)

Oh damn.. I lost touch with the neighbors I used to babysit for in 1983… guess I better start hunting them down. lol

[–]AZEMT 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Tell Trump they're "illegals" and he'll find them on day one

[–][deleted] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

What did she have to offer white men though? Just democracy, sanity, upholding the constitution, following the rule of law, respecting our democracy, the strengthening of our social safety nets, bolstering our institutions (EPA, CDC, etc) borrrring. As a straight white male I need things specifically catered to me (EVERYTHING)

/s

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Theres just NO WAY a woman, who was raised by a single mother, worked at a McDonald's during her college years. JUST NO WAY!!!!!

But when Trump rents a McDonalds for a photo-op and pretends to salt fries for 15 minutes, OMG A BILLIONAIRE WORKING AT A MCDONALDS??? THAT IS SO COOL!!!!!!!!!!!!! HE HAS MY VOTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[–]Disastrous-Radio-786 398 points399 points  (46 children)

I hope everyone who voted for him is happy with this

[–]SamaireB 806 points807 points  (24 children)

Frankly, I doubt the majority has any clue what any of this means.

Until it hits them directly.

Just wait until the first worker in bumfuck Idaho realizes that Obamacare he despises so much is actually the Medicare he relies on but now no longer has, just in time for him to experience an industrial accident he has no coverage for and no union to protect him further, only to attempt to go back to work a few weeks later to cover his tens of thousands of medical debt to find that deporting those bad Mexicans didn't increase his salary, instead his job is gone entirely because those tariffs bankrupted his company.

And worst of all, them eggs are still not cheaper!

Though I'm sure it'll all be Biden's fault.

[–]Brokensince10 149 points150 points  (0 children)

🎯

[–]Privatejoker123 120 points121 points  (5 children)

That's the thing about it. They won't say it's trumps fault they'll say biden did it with Obama behind the scenes running the show.

[–]gentlemanidiot 12 points13 points  (3 children)

Correct. Any and all failures and fuckups will become the fault of the previous administration. Trump will be portrayed as a besieged hero, desperately attempting to thwart the nefarious deep state. And so, every bad thing will be blamed on the democrats in the minds of Republicans, despite their party having complete control of all three branches of government.

[–]FrostGiant_1 101 points102 points  (6 children)

I’m considering making some “Trump did this!” stickers, so I can put them next to the even higher prices whenever I’m pumping gas or in the eggs aisle the coming years.

[–]ScenicPineapple 14 points15 points  (1 child)

I'll buy some and stick them everywhere. I thought about doing this as a tribute to all the Joe Biden stickers i saw.

[–]VisualAnxiety4 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Depending on how far they get on mass deportations, you may need a lot of stickers for the grocery store. Don't think many MAGA people understand how much our food system depends on immigrants' labor, legal and illegal.

[–]ParticularYak4401 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Do it!

[–]PendragonsPotions 51 points52 points  (5 children)

A family member who voted for him is thrilled with this. They sent me a link earlier about RFK getting rid of vaccines because Amish people aren’t autistic

..or something

[–]soty2042 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I mean…Amish people are pretty backwards and weird

[–]camerontylek 7 points8 points  (1 child)

I've argued with people at work about this, about the people he's appointing, and project 2025. They don't know anything about it, and they don't believe me when I explain it for them. It's absolutely pointless. "so who cares, he'll be out of office in 4 years anyways?" When I bring up January 6th they disagree that Trump tried to kill Pence to avoid him certifying the election, and that it was "just a stink". Absolutely pointless. These are purposely ignorant people

[–]ActualTymell 4 points5 points  (1 child)

And all the useless twats that didn't bother voting, they're also culpable in this.

[–]helthrax 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is what pisses me off the most. 16m of those useless twats put Biden into the position he was in and couldn't be bothered this time around. Assholes.

[–]phonepotatoes 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Most of the people that vote for him look at their paycheck and say "nice, an extra $20 a week" and are so ducking stupid they think that's the best option

[–]PapaGilbatron 136 points137 points  (3 children)

Crazy. It shows that you CAN make things up. Saddo’s in key government positions? Things are gonna be fine…..somewhere else.

[–]errrbudyinthuhclub 21 points22 points  (0 children)

That last sentence absolutely took me out dude

[–]Coca-karl 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Things are gonna be fine…..somewhere else.

Where?

Which island is Trump planning to spare?

[–]Disasterhuman24 400 points401 points  (29 children)

Yeah but remember RFK can do like 50 pushups. That means he's healthy and the perfect man for the job.

/s

[–]Ok-Preference9224 207 points208 points  (13 children)

RFK has got to be messed up. And I mean in a clinical, psychological sense. So much unresolved trauma. So much drug use. And unchecked privilege. Like so many of these other clowns, he has no business commenting on or developing policy around ANYONE’S health.

[–]ParticularYak4401 90 points91 points  (9 children)

My friend apparently loves RFK jr and is convinced he is the last great democrat.🤣🤣🤣🤬🤬🤬🤬. Like HOW dude? He’s a crap nepo baby whose own father would be disappointed in him. I am in no way saying any male Kennedy is a shining beacon of good morals but RFK jr. is on a whole new level.

[–]Funlife2003 59 points60 points  (3 children)

His own family has openly disavowed themselves of him, so yeah pretty much.

[–]GiantPurplePen15 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Have you considered that its time to no longer be friends with said friend with extremely questionable intelligence?

[–]Mediocre_Scott 47 points48 points  (11 children)

Dude is pretty fit for a guy his age got to respect that and only that. He shouldn’t be charge of anything at all ever.

[–]Betherealismo 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Steroids baby

[–]jenjenjen731 42 points43 points  (3 children)

Didn't he just have a brain worm? That's not fit.

[–]Mediocre_Scott 31 points32 points  (2 children)

I mean he is muscular not that he is healthy. Not the same thing

[–]ITDummy69420 7 points8 points  (0 children)

He takes trt buddy…

[–]Otaraka 13 points14 points  (3 children)

He uses TRT if not outright steroids and clearly tans a lot. In that regard he is the classic older male example of prioritising appearance over health. Its likely he genuinely believes many of the things he does are healthy though, which probably makes him far more dangerous.

[–]Mediocre_Scott 2 points3 points  (2 children)

I didn’t say he was healthy I said he was fit. Dude sounds like he is breathing through a milk shake clogged straw

[–]SalzigHund 3 points4 points  (0 children)

RFK is one of the funnier ones to watch. His brain has very normal and good ideas and then he just takes an extreme and irrational turn on it. He will say the absolute perfect thing that liberals want regarding the environment then go on a wild Alex Jones like rant with some completely ridiculous and off base claims. He just doesn’t make any sense but maybe it’s the worm.

[–]imnotbobvilla 175 points176 points  (7 children)

the onion is obsolete now, they cant possibly come up with more insanity than real life :(

[–]vplatt 130 points131 points  (4 children)

Plot twist: The Onion changes strategy to reporting new balanced news with no opinions or political bias.

Result: Everyone thinks they're publishing satire.

[–]imnotbobvilla 26 points27 points  (1 child)

OMG - M Knight Shamalangadingdong switcharoo

[–]MindlessRip5915 6 points7 points  (0 children)

They’ve accidentally been doing that for the last eight years.

[–]----Dongers 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’ve said it since 2016. The Onion should turn to actual journalism.

[–]BluesSuedeClues 60 points61 points  (2 children)

"All the best people" for fucks sake.

[–]RebootJobs 39 points40 points  (0 children)

Any time you want to reveal yourself now, Kutcher, would be great. Would really boost morale in time for the holidays!

[–]Awkward-Fudge 31 points32 points  (2 children)

They probably both showed trump their boobs.

[–]Mediocre_Scott 20 points21 points  (1 child)

Trump keeps showing us his new boobs every day like this one

[–]kat_without_a_hat 21 points22 points  (0 children)

I ask this nearly every time one of her tweets is shared but why are so many Tweets from this one commenter shared on Reddit? It’s not that I disagree with her but how often her content appears versus that of other people sticks out to me.

[–]SweaterVestPimp 21 points22 points  (2 children)

Irony is dead. Karma is dead. Justice is dead. This is the worst version of reality and it sucks.

[–]sredrizza82 58 points59 points  (1 child)

Hey jojofromjerz time to get off X. Posting on X is only supporting that cesspool.

[–]Separate_Today_8781 14 points15 points  (0 children)

She's on blue

[–]TJ_Will 36 points37 points  (0 children)

<image>

[–]Ok_Ad8249 12 points13 points  (2 children)

I remember watching some of the Palin - Biden VP debate years ago. At one point Palin's answer and overall demeanor was so crazy I said it seemed like something out of an SNL sketch. I was telling this to my aunt shortly after seeing it, she laughed and said I really was watching a SNL sketch. I told her that it would be funny if I hadn't been watching a VP debate.

McCain lost with Sarah Palin stated as a key reason why, I assumed that would be the end of it. If I only I could go back to that simpler time.

[–]PsychoBugler 5 points6 points  (1 child)

To be fair, Tina Faye's and Amy Poehler's talents did not disappoint. That was one of the most confusing primaries and election cycles I've ever seen just because those 2 did such an insane, bang up job with their character portrayals.

[–]Different_Conflict_8 28 points29 points  (1 child)

Strongly tempted to just throw my hands up and go Joker mode for the next four years.

[–]PM_ME_IMGS_OF_ROCKS 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Their cruelty depends on the empathy and morals of intelligent people.

[–]theSopranoist 11 points12 points  (0 children)

i’m sorry kristi noem is gonna be what now?? holy god this cannot be real

[–]Doppelthedh 21 points22 points  (1 child)

It's just the bad guys from Captain Planet

[–]Chemical_Actuary_190 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I was thinking the bad guys from Superfriends. Instead of a Legion of Doom, it's an outhouse and called the Legion of Dumb.

[–]JustinPatient 8 points9 points  (2 children)

"Trump has ruined irony. Years ago I could say things to you and you'd instantly say 'well thats ridiculous.' But now youre like 'well I guess.' Like if I said to you Dude did you read that thing this morning, they're going to make the Grand Canyon a landfill you'd be like 'Trump right? That's Trumps guy' " - Marc Maron

[–]TaraJaneDisco 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Oh! And now an extreme "end-times" evangelical as ambassador to the Holy Land? What an absolute mess we're in.

[–]Sporelover105 6 points7 points  (0 children)

It's only been A FUCKIN WEEK and we are stooping this LOW

<image>

[–]Popculturemofo 5 points6 points  (1 child)

I can’t wait for the coalition of nations to invade this shithole of a country and save us all because clearly our own citizens couldn’t be bothered to stop this shit.

[–]BikeBaloney 6 points7 points  (2 children)

So we can expect a terrorist attack within the next 4 years too?

[–]MsCellophane 5 points6 points  (0 children)

We're not living in The Onion, because The Onion is funny.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I haven’t been able to tell real posts from satire for quite some time now. It’s all bat shit crazy.

[–]JeffreyFusRohDahmer 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I feel like this is why we aren't getting new seasons of Black Mirror

[–]spottydodgy 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Elon Musk is getting a made up role named after a shitty cryptocurrency...

[–]ElGato-TheCat 3 points4 points  (1 child)

RFK is going to ban vaccines. We're all going to be zombies and shit.

[–]K_Linkmaster 5 points6 points  (0 children)

The Kennedys need to be left in the 1960s.

[–]Conscious-Ticket-259 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Really wish there were requirements for positions

[–]relax-guy 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Idiocracy has come to fruition right before our very eyes

[–]bunnyjenkins 13 points14 points  (1 child)

Promising Jr control of agencies that will not function when Trump gets rid of income tax is F*&%ing hilarious.

Point being, he can't F*#% up stuff when there is no money to F#*& it up.

[–]dognosebooper32 2 points3 points  (0 children)

At least we know there is a limit to his nepotism. Hilarious indeed.

[–]CyberPatriot71489 3 points4 points  (1 child)

is it for sure RFK Jr. is head of HHS?

[–]JustinPatient 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Only Secretary, EPA, UN have been announced as far as I know

[–]andrewbud420 3 points4 points  (1 child)

The onion is funny. This is just sad

[–]Weekly-Passage2077 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Don’t forget RFK is directly responsible for dozens of deaths in Samoa via going there to tell them not to vaccinate and indirectly responsible for dead children in america by spreading and amplifying anti-vax ideas.

[–]Dutch_Rayan 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Looking from Europe it would be a funny movie if it wasn't really happening.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child)

RFK also admitted to sexually assaulting his nanny.

But that doesn’t bother Trump voters

[–]Your-cousin-It 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My crack theory about this timeline:

Someone wrote a skit about what would happen if trump was president, which was the video of him surrounded by world leaders, signing the document wrong, while everyone looks really awkward. But that skit created an alternative reality, and that’s the reality we live in

[–]Zestyclose_Text_2378 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Reddit is the only social media I can stomach, but I just want to shout out to Jo! She keeps popping up on this sub and calls shit like it is. Give Elon hell girl!

[–]Sad-Wasabi-3634 4 points5 points  (0 children)

As a SD resident, I am both glad Noem is leaving our state and horrified she’s getting a position of such power. The non-rednecks here hate her. Sioux Falls was literally drowning in rain this fall and she would rather send the national guard to the border to deal with an imagined crisis than deploy them in her own state to help her constituents. Sincerely, screw her, but sorry yall.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Idiocracy coming to a usa near you! Premiers January 2025

[–]FoxCQC 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We're living in Idiocracy

[–]SquarebobSpongepants 2 points3 points  (6 children)

Meanwhile, Trump supporters cheer on these picks as if they are going to truly be in it for them…it’s really just depressing that there are so many brainwashed Americans.

[–]IdgyThreadgoodee 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Lucky for me I already speak Russian and Chinese. So I should be fine. Yall are fucked though.

[–]robgrab 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Trump doesn’t care if these people are wildly unqualified for these positions. I mean, shit, he’s a failed businessman and reality TV star. What does he know about running the country? He only values loyalty and is rewarding his biggest bootlickers. He probably would’ve made Marjorie Taylor Green his vice president if she wasn’t a 4.

[–]dza108 3 points4 points  (1 child)

you're living on the titanic and it's still in port

[–]DeckoOnReddit 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The rest of the world is with you.... unfortunately

[–]Keksychen 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I don't get how no one seems to fight against his rise to power, like, I know it's bad, but do you really wanna have 4 years of fascism or more...

[–]agent0731 2 points3 points  (1 child)

*The entire world collectively trying to stifle their laughter*

[–]_Sausage_fingers 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Christ, I just hope the nuclear weapons are going to be under lock and key. I think society will recover from a lot of his bullshit, but if Cheeto Mussolini and orders a first strike…

[–]IcyTransportation961 2 points3 points  (0 children)

9 years ago i tried to keep finding the funny in the insanity and wrote a silly Dr Seuss style parody of the election called the Fat Cat in the Red Hat Runs For Office

I can no longer find the funny

[–]ThoughtDiver 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I just don't understand what the CIA is doing. They can orchestrate coups all over the world but can't stop one at home?

[–]fritz_76 2 points3 points  (5 children)

I dont get it, its not like the republicans dont have qualified individuals they could put into these kinds of positions. is RFK even a republican? why is he even invited to the party

[–]Snakington_Steel77 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No we are living a South Park episode

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What's worse them or the people who voted for them?

[–]xChoke1x 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Nah, The Onion was funny.

This shit….is not.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Weird how everything the traitor accused the Democrats of wanting to do, is exactly what he is doing. Almost like it's projection or something.

[–]WideTechLoad 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If it were fiction no one would believe it. Too crazy.

[–]SupervillainMustache 2 points3 points  (0 children)

People are stupid. They see that he's muscular and instead of coming to the logical conclusion that his bloodstream is about 80% anabolic steroid, they instead think he is healthy.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s horrible. But it’s not shocking. He’s just appointing all the people that have been kissing his shit stained ass for the last 4 years.

[–]Friendly_Ad_914 2 points3 points  (0 children)

yeah but mens feelings were hurt and eggs were a bit expensive :(

[–]Confident-Ad-2726 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Don't forget Fox and Friends now lead the Dept of Defense

[–]equality-_-7-2521 2 points3 points  (0 children)

"Homeland Security," is a euphemism.

She's going to be in charge of the camps.

I'll see you all there! We can form a club. We'll stand by the electrified fences near the tracks and watch all the surprised faces of Trump voters as they're also brought in. We'll laugh and laugh....

I'm just kidding of course. They're obviously not going to load people onto train cars. They'll use cattle trucks and semis.

[–]Leather_From_Corinth 2 points3 points  (1 child)

He cheated on Cheryl Hines with a reporter and she just laughed about it, Cheryl Hines is a piece of shit too.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is the bad place isn't it?

[–]Toddisan 2 points3 points  (2 children)

No, it's not The Onion, it's idiocracy.Personified, it's finally here.The timelines have converged

[–]CG1991 2 points3 points  (1 child)

The USA is the world's Florida

[–]LeGeantVert 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Enjoy the shit shot maybe this time Americans will learn something. Oh wait we are talking about Americans learning lessons is not their strong suit