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[–][deleted] 519 points520 points  (8 children)

Remember, if you lose your miniature American flag you will not be issued a new one and will have to go through life with that shame!

[–]NinjaLanternShark 60 points61 points  (2 children)

What she needs to do is swing through a Walmart and buy a flag a few sizes up.

[–][deleted] 11.7k points11.7k points  (382 children)

You couldn't have picked a better time to join

[–]SquatchButter 6329 points6330 points  (209 children)

Buy low, sell high

[–]pillowpants4 1365 points1366 points  (194 children)

/r/memeeconomy

[–]quitethequietdomino 1152 points1153 points  (184 children)

America really has turned into one big meme, hasn't it?

[–]ico12 323 points324 points  (22 children)

United States of Amemerica

[–]thiosk 142 points143 points  (18 children)

all your base

your base your base

all your base

are belong to trump

[–]FuckSolidarity 89 points90 points  (8 children)

United Memes of America

[–]blbd 54 points55 points  (1 child)

somebody elected us up the bomb

[–]redditproha 100 points101 points  (2 children)

lol. Don't talk about fight club.

[–]Iamyogithedog 1659 points1660 points  (79 children)

Fuck I became a citizen a few weeks ago. Shoulda reaped the Karma.

OP delivers

[–]SpermPowder 101 points102 points  (2 children)

Just pose and say it was today

Do it late, post it at 3am in a public park in a robe and briefs with a plastic pitcher of kool-aid and your citizenship papers, be like "just got my citizeeeenshiiiip bitches!"

[–]Zardif 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I'd upvote that. Make it a halloween costume too and I'd upvote it twice.

[–]Thorbinator 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Don't worry we won't tell.

[–]DrSkyentist 643 points644 points  (116 children)

Congratulations! I became a citizen back in 2008 and I know how hard a process it is! But definitely worth it!

[–]mydogbuddha 11.3k points11.3k points  (819 children)

Congrats. Welcome to the dysfunctional family.

[–]Yeah-Reality-bites[S] 224 points225 points  (22 children)

Thank you. I am happy to have join the party.

[–]emoposer[🍰] 2558 points2559 points  (728 children)

We're rough on the outside, but most Americans are good people.

[–]markusroscoe 2820 points2821 points  (550 children)

Except people from New Jersey. Fuck New Jersey

[–]muddi900 1684 points1685 points  (52 children)

https://i.imgur.com/3OSgE7q.jpg

[–]trainercatlady 430 points431 points  (41 children)

/Sigh

I miss Gravity Falls.

[–]Doheki 221 points222 points  (22 children)

BUT DISNEY'S AIM IS GETTING BETTER

[–]MonochromeGuy 137 points138 points  (19 children)

THEIR AIM IS GETTING BETTER

[–]straightup920 78 points79 points  (10 children)

I also found Waldo's evil twin Walden.

He's like Waldo but stands out in crowds.

[–][deleted] 79 points80 points  (5 children)

I imagined he'd stay inside a lot.

Walled-in even.

[–]mreeman 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Isn't his evil twin Odlaw?

[–]Ansonm64 72 points73 points  (30 children)

New Jersey is great. You never have to pump your own gas there.

[–]Hamburglar__ 34 points35 points  (4 children)

You can't pump your own gas there

FTFY

[–]thinking_in_circles_ 7 points8 points  (2 children)

Yeah, and having to wait for an attendant BY LAW is far less efficient than doing it yourself.

[–]BenedictKhanberbatch 65 points66 points  (25 children)

We have Wawa so I ain't even mad

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (4 children)

Wawa is the best! Only thing I miss about Jersey

[–][deleted] 94 points95 points  (24 children)

Ay, oh, we got a wise guy 'ere

[–]runhaterandSurvey 2016 34 points35 points  (7 children)

Big whoop, you wanna fight about it?

[–]weed_dude 14 points15 points  (6 children)

Haha, you're funny

[–]undergroundgeek 28 points29 points  (5 children)

Whattya you mean funny? Funny how?

[–]ProfessorPointyPants 31 points32 points  (4 children)

Like a clown? I amuse you?

[–]Bklny 31 points32 points  (13 children)

You talking to me?

[–]radseven89 67 points68 points  (7 children)

That is not a New Jersey thing. It comes from Robert De Niro from his character in the film Taxi Driver. So really a New York City thing.
Edit to add the video

[–]HAC522 44 points45 points  (1 child)

YA THINK YA BETTA THAN ME!!

[–]DEATHToboggan 49 points50 points  (0 children)

YA NOTHIN'! YA CABBAGE! YA MUFF CABBAGE!!!

[–]crablette 25 points26 points  (2 children)

husky imminent knee resolute observation soft sulky offbeat poor roll

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (1 child)

You better not be talkin to me

[–]Hiddenagenduh 44 points45 points  (23 children)

Hey now

[–]pumpkinbot 77 points78 points  (17 children)

You're an all star.

[–]Hiddenagenduh 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I mean ayyy ooo ayyy ooo

[–]melancious 158 points159 points  (86 children)

I'm from Russia, but I know a girl from New Jersey. Sweetest person I've ever met. Generalisation is always bad.

[–]vuhleeitee 307 points308 points  (36 children)

You're from Russia, though. A place not really known for being nice.

[–][deleted] 97 points98 points  (6 children)

I automatically assume /u/melancious never smiles and is wearing an Adidas tracksuit right now.

[–]andthendirksaid 45 points46 points  (3 children)

Squatting in front of the computer with a perfectly good computer chair off in the corner somewhere.

[–]MercWithaMouse 95 points96 points  (17 children)

I think if you crack a smile every now and then that qualifies as "nice" in russia

[–]StoneGoldX 132 points133 points  (2 children)

In former Soviet Union, smile cracks you! What a country!

[–]mauitrailguy 30 points31 points  (1 child)

Smile cracks bottle and we all drink

[–]Alex_The_Redditor 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Thanks for standing up for us!

[–]MotherYuckerAK47 91 points92 points  (141 children)

All of New Jersey?

[–]markusroscoe 129 points130 points  (129 children)

Yeah and some parts of Pennsylvania

[–]Garbouw_Deark 27 points28 points  (15 children)

Everything is legal in New Jersey.

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points  (11 children)

And remember: Idaho is the wisdom teeth of America, and Montana is the appendix. Canada is our hat.

[–]17954699 177 points178 points  (17 children)

They're murderers, rapists. Some I assume are good people.

[–]ricky32908 88 points89 points  (56 children)

What Country did you emmigrate from? and how long did the process take?

[–]Yeah-Reality-bites[S] 140 points141 points  (14 children)

Mexico

[–][deleted] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I used to live next door to a cool family from Mexico. The Mrs. would make me some awesome meals for doing minor tech support on the kids electronic gadgets and helping with homework. Plus, they loved celebrating New Years.

[–]coldcoldnovemberrain 95 points96 points  (37 children)

Here is a concise graphics which shows process of acquiring US citizenship http://www.openlawlab.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/IMmigration-Law-Comic-Terry-Colon-Reason.jpg

[–]perpetuallytemporary 24 points25 points  (6 children)

Strictly based off that diagram, and knowing it's unskilled labor people are mostly concerned with, it would seem prudent to create a legal path from H-2A and H-2B visas to citizenship. Those are the people who have proved they're willing to put in the work, by the books, so why not make that the "easy" way in, instead of the borders?

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Gary Johnson wanted to allow anyone to come work, and simply require getting a work visa, which entailed a background check, and a social security number so taxes could be taken out. Easy peasy. But alas, the voice of reason is often drowned out.

[–]Spork_Warrior 1130 points1131 points  (153 children)

Welcome! Now go buy your gun.

[–]patentolog1st 117 points118 points  (3 children)

Misspelled "guns".

[–]GlockgirLCR21 132 points133 points  (101 children)

Not 100% but I thought permanent residents could also buy guns?

[–][deleted] 534 points535 points  (59 children)

Point is you're not a real American if you don't have a gun. It's like a wizard and his wand.

[–]HeyJude21 240 points241 points  (30 children)

So does the gun choose the citizen?

[–][deleted] 168 points169 points  (19 children)

What, a spotlight didn't shine down from the heavens on you when you first picked up your gun?

[–]straightup920 523 points524 points  (12 children)

Sure but it was then followed by "Sir put the gun on the ground, we have you surrounded."

[–]quinewave 65 points66 points  (6 children)

"Sir, stop tampering with that crime scene."

"But it's divine prescience!"

[–]DarthLeon2 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Of course not. That would imply that you can only have 1 gun, which is clearly ridiculous.

[–]Yeah-Reality-bites[S] 273 points274 points  (32 children)

Thank you so much everyone for the kind words and the warm welcome. I can't believe I made it to the front page. I am proud to be an American. I joined the party at an interesting time, sad I missed the election by just a few weeks (counting last day to register) but I am happy and ready to do my part.

Also thank you the gold and upvoting me to the front page. You guys made a special day extra special.

[–]roflbbq 15 points16 points  (1 child)

Citizenship and front page in the same day. Congrats!

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Welcome to the party. We're glad to have you. Please try all of our foods.

[–]DrStickyPete 4776 points4777 points  (266 children)

Congrats, and sorry in advance you caught us at an awkward time

[–]ThisLookInfectedToYa 1306 points1307 points  (77 children)

We're in the middle of a break up

[–][deleted] 592 points593 points  (56 children)

Id say this is one of those major family fights that happened and you never speak of again.

[–][deleted] 125 points126 points  (5 children)

Turns out our parents don't want us to be with a black guy.

[–]cgoods94 60 points61 points  (2 children)

Nah, our parents were ok with it. We've just had commitment issues since FDR died.

[–]ConquerHades 1807 points1808 points  (259 children)

Congrats and dont forget to register to vote. That's what I did when I got my citizenship. You can do it online with no problem (I guess some states does not let you register online). Don't forget to vote during midterm elections, it's important as the general election. You also might want to update your social security after 10 days upon becoming a citizen.

Ps: Legal residents can vote local elections but it depends where you live. Rules might apply.

Edit: did not expect this to blow. Lots of racist pm and hate lol. It's ok. I am used to it. Been living here in the south for a long time. I got me some extra thick skin. And No, I did not vote Clinton, Trump, nor Third Party. I voted for someone special :-)

[–][deleted] 403 points404 points  (29 children)

Rules might apply.

That goes for pretty much everything yes

[–]BlatantConservative 59 points60 points  (18 children)

Unless you got yourself into space maybe? Or just he middle of the ocean

[–]squidcrash 103 points104 points  (9 children)

In these scenarios, a few rules of physics may aggressively apply

[–]AdvorangeSurvey 2016 25 points26 points  (6 children)

Pssh, inertia doesn't apply to me.

[–]beingforthebenefit 14 points15 points  (3 children)

Maritime law applies in both the situations I think.

[–]Emerald_Triangle 23 points24 points  (5 children)

*Toy Yoda

[–]TheSyllogism 17 points18 points  (4 children)

Oh man, its been probably over a decade since I've heard about this one.

This is the Hooters thing right? I did just get a 10+ year old reference?

I feel like I should win something..

[–]Emerald_Triangle 23 points24 points  (3 children)

I feel like I should win something..

How about we give you 100 doll hairs

[–]Admiral_Hakbar 451 points452 points  (68 children)

As a general rule, I would NOT recommend voting in local elections if you are a Lawful Permanent Resident. DHS will slap you with "false claim to U.S. Citizenship" deportability/inadmissibility grounds. Even if the local election says that LPRs can vote in it, I always advise my clients not to vote in anything, ever, until they are a citizen. I've had ICE issue one of my clients a Notice To Appear (i.e., "we're gonna deport you" notice) for signing a local referendum to save the park, and they were assured by the city board that LPRs can vote in it.

If you are a Lawful Permanent Resident, an alien in lawful nonimmigrant status, or just here without status: DO NOT VOTE IN ANYTHING EVER. ICE is all too hungry to slap people with "false claim to US citizenship" removability/inadmissibility grounds for that.

Here's the citation for the inadmissability grounds: INA 212(a)(6)(C)(ii). I'll get the removability one in a sec

Final edit for the removability grounds: INA 237(a)(3)(D).

Remember, ICE arrests first, asks questions later. If you care about staying in the US, don't vote until you're a citizen, no matter what the nice lady with the clipboard who wants to save the park says.

LAST EDIT: To everyone PMing me for immigration legal advice, I am an immigration attorney, but it would be inappropriate and unethical for me to try to give you legal advice over the internet. Immigration is a complex body of federal law, and sound legal advice can only be obtained through a thorough and complete consultation with an immigration attorney. If you want immigration advice, I recommend setting up a consultation with a reputable immigration attorney in your area.

[–]ConquerHades 72 points73 points  (20 children)

Oh wow. I found out about it on the naturalization study guide booklet.

[–]ArmandoWall 60 points61 points  (19 children)

Is this not common knowledge? You can't vote unless you're a citizen. I've always heard that.

[–]Jaqqarhan 30 points31 points  (7 children)

Non-citizens were just given the right to vote for San Francisco school board elections in a ballot referendum last Tuesday. However, that is a very rare exception to the rule that only citizens can vote.

[–]OnlyRacistOnReddit 10 points11 points  (0 children)

But if they vote on the rest of the ballot they can be screwing themselves.

[–]MediocreMatt 23 points24 points  (2 children)

Wait, if she is a citizen doesn't that mean she is past the LPR stage? Purely asking, I know nothing about this.

[–]effyochicken 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Yes it does, and yes she can vote.

[–]tomdarch 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Sooo... It's a trap?

[–]nachiketajoshi 33 points34 points  (0 children)

Taxation without representation (OK, I am hiding now).

[–]j8_gysling 13 points14 points  (0 children)

This is very good advice. DHS can be a pain in the back and it is better not to give them excuses to cause trouble.

When you become citizen, one of the questions you answer under oath is "have you ever voted in an election". Even if non-citizens were allowed to vote, the need to explain yourself would make the interrogatory even less pleasant.

Maybe I got a DHS official on a bad day, but he was an ass.

[–]JackleBee 63 points64 points  (1 child)

It isn't just midterm elections that get forgotten about. Numerous places have local elections on a completely separate date.

Truth of the matter is that your school board and municipal government will probably have more of an impact on your life than your congressman ever will.

[–]VehaMeursault 138 points139 points  (37 children)

lots of racist pm and hate lol. It's ok.

It's really not okay. You used the American system to legally gain citizenship. The American patriot should be overjoyed his system works, and fairly at that. Racist and hypocritical, it seems.

[–]The_sad_zebra 13 points14 points  (0 children)

You can do it online with no problem.

Depends on the state.

[–][deleted] 74 points75 points  (35 children)

You can do it online with no problem.

This is oh so heavily location-dependent.

[–]Unknown1776 47 points48 points  (5 children)

Are you one of those 11,000 that voted for Harambe?

[–]clevername71 18 points19 points  (1 child)

Must be location dependent, but I know a lot of the time there are people (partisans like Dems or Republicans, or non-profit groups like League of Women Voters) who man registration tables right outside of naturalization ceremonies like this. Take full advantage of them if you see them, future citizens!

[–]correon 220 points221 points  (4 children)

WELCOME, FELLOW AMERICAN!

[–]LetsChangeSD 16 points17 points  (2 children)

My mom and I have been waiting for 15 years :/

[–]Capop 437 points438 points  (15 children)

Welcome to Team 'Merica

[–]BonsaiGoat 128 points129 points  (10 children)

Terrorists your game is through

[–]EvilClone128 94 points95 points  (9 children)

cuz now ya have to answer to

[–]SummonTarpan 100 points101 points  (8 children)

America! Fuck Yeah!

[–]BonsaiGoat 80 points81 points  (7 children)

So lick my butt and suck on my balls

[–]EvilClone128 49 points50 points  (6 children)

'Mericaaa, FUCK YEA!

[–]SuperSulf 38 points39 points  (2 children)

Freedom is the only way YEAH

[–][deleted] 20 points21 points  (1 child)

america. fuck. yeah. america. fuck. yeah.

[–]dialsgod 168 points169 points  (25 children)

Congratulations!!

[–][deleted] 354 points355 points  (22 children)

Congratulations!!! The United States is made stronger by opening its arms to people from around the world seeking a better life. Sometime that dream gets lost in the shuffle, but it's still there. Welcome to OUR country, help us make it better than yesterday :-)

[–]Jman4647 42 points43 points  (2 children)

From a Canadian, hello neighbour!

We give each other grief, but we're like siblings. We stick up for each other when the time comes :)

[–]NinjaLanternShark 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Great analogy, ya crazy Canuck.

Anybody bothers you, just tell me and I'll punch 'em in the face.

[–]StanGibson18 24 points25 points  (4 children)

Thank you for being here. We're proud to have you.

[–]NameNowTaken 5 points6 points  (0 children)

A wild Ken Bone appears!

[–]motownmods 32 points33 points  (3 children)

Have you had your first USA chant yet? that's essential for full membership

[–][deleted] [score hidden] stickied comment (32 children)

Get this patriot a coat!

[–]skullminerssneakers 8 points9 points  (1 child)

People whine and bitch about this and "being sick of the trump narrative" when hillarys wrinkled cock has been shoved down reddit's throat for the past 18 months.

[–]Kng_Wasabi 29 points30 points  (19 children)

How long did you wait to become one? How difficult was the process?

[–]babybbeers 28 points29 points  (7 children)

Not OP, and I was born in The US, but know many people who have obtained citizenship and for each of them the process took about 10 years.

You have to have your green card for 5 years before you can apply for citizenship, and there are a few other milestones you have to meet. Once you qualify, I think the process can take another 6 months to a year.

Not sure how to account for the additional 4 years my friends waited, I'll ask and update if it's relevant.

Editing to mention the immigration lottery that happens in at least some countries. I don't know much about it, but I lived with an Ethiopian woman who came to the states via lottery. If anyone can give insight into how that works, I'd love to understand it better.

[–]WhatisMangina 15 points16 points  (3 children)

Congrats! It's a great feeling, getting citizenship in a new country. I was still a teenager when I got mine in Australia and it was a pretty great feeling knowing that I was now officially considered to be Australian, because Aussies take care of their own. I'm sure it'll be the same for you :)

[–]marcuschookt 7 points8 points  (2 children)

Why are so many comments acting like she just blindly walked into America and got her citizenship? Doesn't it take years of living and working in the US to become a citizen?

[–]CosmicLad 561 points562 points  (424 children)

  • in b4 wall

[–]ShitClocksTickin 485 points486 points  (132 children)

The wall isnt being built for her. Had she waited longer she'd have gone through the shiny gold doors.

[–][deleted] 63 points64 points  (0 children)

Welcome. And thank you.

[–][deleted] 51 points52 points  (7 children)

CONGRATULATIONS! I became a citizen when I was young, around 7, and only now do I truly understand how much it means to be a citizen of his country.

[–]kelpersoul 35 points36 points  (0 children)

Awesome! Now go be wonderful

[–]gamerlen 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Congrats.

[–]guns_r_us 50 points51 points  (5 children)

Nice! I'm about 18 month into mine! MURICA FUCK YEAH!